your ex husband

That right there is the evolvo-ray, now let’s talk about the evolvo-ray. Can we talk about the evolvo-ray, please, Tropy? I’ve been dying to talk about the evolvo-ray with you all day, okay? Dr. Cortex. This name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Cortex’s credit isn’t getting sent back to me. Dr. Cortex. Dr. Cortex. I look in the mail THIS WHOLE BOX IS DR. CORTEX! So I say to myself “I gotta find this guy, I gotta go up to his lair, I gotta put my fist in the guy’s god damn face!” otherwise he’s never gonna get it, he’s gonna keep coming back down here! So I go up to Cortex’s office and what do I found out Tropy? What do I? Find? Out? There is no Dr. Cortex. The man does not exist. Okay, so I decided ooooooh shit buddy I gotta dig a little deeper “There’s no Dr. Cortex?” You gotta be kidding me I GOT BOXES FULL OF CORTEX! Alright so I start marching my way down to N. Gin in HR anD I KNOCK ON HIS DOOR AND I SAY “N. GIIIN! N. GIIIN! I GOTTA TALK TO YOU ABOUT CORTEX!” and when I open the door what do I find? There’s not a single god damn desk in that lair. There is… No… N. Gin in HR… Tropy, Half the minions in this iceberg have been made up. This lair is a god damn ghost town.

(accurate) falsettos soundtrack

ACT ONE:

1. Whose Mother Let That Child Swear

2. Call Me Daddy/My Ex-Husband Sucks (Dick)

3. It’s Karate, Kid: The Musical

4. Mendel’s a Bad Psychiatrist 

5. My Father Sucks (Dick)/My Parents Think I’m Crazy

6. Cook Your Own Damn Dinner 

7. This is What Happens When You Go to a Bad Psychiatrist

8. Chicken Marengo/Jason’s A Slightly Better Psychiatrist But Not Really

9. Mendel’s A Furry/Why Are You Calling Him Daddy Now?

10. F*ck the Patriarchy/Welcome to Duloc/The Patriarchy’s All I Have

11. Whizzer Wins but he actually doesn’t

12. Better Homes and Gardens

13. He Drinks Tea in the Bathtub?

14. Send A Wedding Invite to Your Ex-Husband! Genius!

15. “I Hate the World!” “He Hates Everything!”

16. Someone Pays Some Attention to Jason for Once

ACT TWO:

1. Exposition/Marvin’s A Big Boy Now

2. Puberty!

3. Puberty! (Reprise)

4. Cubs Win the World Series (2016)

5. #TonyBoney

6. Mendel Never Read the Torah

7. The Naked in Bed Song

8. Spoiler Alert: It’s Called AIDS/Whizzer Be Trippin’

9. Yes, SJB, You Go

10. They All Lie Minus Jason

11. That Random One That Shows Up on Shuffle Every Time I Turn On Spotify

12. Gay: The Musical

13. The True Meaning of Bar Mitzvah

14. Oops, Marvin Probably Has AIDS Too, But That’s Never Explicitly Said

15. SYMBOLISM (Tango W/ Death)

16. Whizzer Dies

17. KYS, William Finn

Imagine:

Your ex-husband, James Conrad, showing up at one of your archaeology conferences. When you spot him, you get slightly nervous and stammer a bit but regain your composure quickly. His eyes never leave you and he listens intently. By the end of it, he waits for everyone to leave, and approaches you saying he needs to speak with you.

Split - Kai Scenario. Part 5

Summary: You have a perfect life. A perfect little house, perfect little son who just went to Kindergarten for the first time and finally your more than perfect husband, whom you love more than your life. Of course that was three weeks ago. Before your husband decided to leave the family.

Word Count: 2076

A/n: I know this is short but I’d rather upload something now and something in a week than nothing at all. It hasn’t been the best times for me on this blog lately but I can’t stop writing this story for myself and you guys…

MY MASTERLIST  

(For mobile)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

i’m sorry tumblr won’t let me add “keep reading”


Originally posted by dazzlingkai

I recommend rereading part 4 before starting this chapter!!!

You wake up on a Sunday morning with a sigh. Now you perfectly understand the meaning of that one saying. As if you’re a schoolgirl and it’s finally the last day of your holidays. But in your case you haven’t missed what’s to come even for a bit.

But this time, you decide not to sulk and make the most of the day which will probably be the last one you’ll ever spend with your complete family. Negative thoughts try to find their way into your mind but this time you do your best to keep them out and just enjoy last Sunday you’ll spend happily.

You won’t ruin it.


You quickly get out of the bed. this time you don’t wake up next to your almost ex-husband which is quite a disappointment, but then you sneak a look inside Tae’s room and see him hugged by his father in sleep. And it’s quite enough for you. You can share Jongin with your son even if you’re very selfish.

You don’t lose time swooning over the perfect picture and step inside the bathroom to get ready for the day. After washing up and putting on a comfortable sundress, you head to the kitchen. You plan to make this day perfect for everyone and in your family’s case that means food.

Although you like the thought of healthy diet, the thought of Jongin and Tae’s happiness when they see fried chicken for breakfast is enough persuasion you need.

Time goes quickly while you do everything to make sure that the “breakfast” table is flawless. And just when you’re about to put the last plate on it, you hear footsteps and soon both of your favorite boys step inside the kitchen. You don’t know who’s more excited when seeing what they’re about to eat.

“You’re just in time for breakfast.” You say with a big smile, even though it’s already half past two in the afternoon, it’s normal with Jongin and Tae who goes after his father in everything.

“The smell woke us up.” Jongin can’t take his eyes off the table. “This smells so good, how could we have slept more.” He laughs and sits next to Tae. They’ve both already started devouring the food.

“Wow this is really good.” Jongin comments. “I haven’t tasted anything better for a while, where did you order this?” he asks while handing Tae the neck of chicken. “Start with this.” He adds.

“I made this actually.” You say quietly. Jongin stops and widens his eyes while chewing slowly. “Mommy is the best cook ever, isn’t she?” Tae says with a full mouth. You laugh and wipe his lips.

“Yeah, she is.” Jongin says quietly and you feel your cheeks redden. It’s like you’re returned to high school phase, or just the start of your friendship with Jongin. Not as if you’ve spend years next to him.

Almost an hour passes when the three of you are finally finished with the food. Tae tries to keep up with his dad whose tummy seems to have a hole and is never satisfied. But when the plates are finally empty Jongin suggests watching television so the three of you move to the living room and get comfortable on the couch.

And that’s how the last day (as you hate to call it) is spent. Nothing is special but amazing at the same time. The only time either of you move is to get to the bathroom or get the next fill of snacks. You’re watching cartoons and the Disney movies even Jongin enjoys singing along to.

When the sun is set, Tae runs to his room to get his favorite blanket and returns jumping in his father’s lap. He covers both of them with it and grabs your arm to bring you closer. You’re hesitant at first – you don’t want to make Jongin uncomfortable, but then you see them all cuddly and warm and there’s nothing that can hold you back from joining.

You move closer slowly also getting under the blanket but keeping some distance from your husband but you’re surprised, that when your neck is getting too uncomfortable for it to be laying naturally, Jongin is the one to pull his arm around you and let it rest against his shoulder, right in the position where you can also reach to kiss Tae’s head. You didn’t expect it. Definitely didn’t but for the first time in a month you feel that you’re warm again and you hadn’t even realized how frozen your body had become, deprived of his warmth.

There’s something different about him. Always has been. Just like no heating system can warm you up as well as a walk under the sun can, Jongin’s arms are the same. He’s your personal sun, your only natural way to life.

You can’t even imagine how much you crave for it.

After a while you realize that Tae has fallen asleep on his father’s chest. But you can’t blame him. Jongin is just so warm and so comfortable all you want to do is to finally get the good night’s sleep peacefully for once. But the other part forces you to stay awake to remember every single second of the time you finally felt so, so happy.

In that moment you clearly realize one thing.

He’s here. With a woman who will soon become his ex-wife. And there’s one logical question jumping in your mind.

“Jongin?” you call out, quietly enough not to wake up your son.

“Yes?” he answers, so softly that you never want that sound to leave your ears.

“How does she feel about you being here?” you drop the question, you’re truly curious about. But nothing could surprise you more than what Jongin says next.

“Who?” he asks.

You don’t know if you’re imagining it, or that you’re already stepped into your nightly dream, but you think his fingers are slowly caressing your arm. He truly seems to not recognize who you’re talking about.

“Fei.” You answer with a single word. That name won’t ever leave your memory.

You look up at Jongin secretly and see momentary confusion dwell in his eyes.

“Oh, her.” He adds and stays quiet for a moment. “Well I don’t think she likes that I’m here. She told me not to come.” He says quietly.

Of course she doesn’t. As negatively as you might be inclined towards that girl you understand that she wouldn’t want Jongin to stay over here. But you can’t sympathize when she’s the one going after a still-to-be-divorced man.

Soon after another thought occupies your mind. You know it’s childish to compare how Jongin treats Fei to how he treated you, but she told him not to come and here he is, in your living room. Not once would Jongin ever make you uncomfortable with his decisions when he lived with you. In the good old times he wouldn’t have left you alone like he did with Fei.

You’re absolutely sure of that and that thought makes you even warmer inside. Curling deeper into Jongin’s chest you have no negative thoughts raiding your mind.

 


On a Monday morning Jongin wakes up just on time without the need of an alarm clock. Slowly dressing in his formal attire he proceeds to the bathroom and kisses the head of his son who’s diligently brushing his teeth. Next he walks inside the kitchen and sees her.

She turns around to look at him and doesn’t even try to form a smile. Jongin can see how the light that was so bright inside her eyes yesterday is now completely gone. Breakfast goes in a quiet matter, so unusual to this happy household. Jongin offers to take Tae to Kindergarten and soon sees his son jumping inside his backseat. Moving like a robot she walks over and fixes his tie, he doesn’t even notice it was crooked. Well she was always better at handling it anyway.

Turning around she slides a sheet of paper in front of him, Jongin looks closely and sees lots of too professional words he hates so much.

“I signed it.” she says quietly. “Like I promised. You’re free.” That’s it. just a little doodle of Jongin’s signature is needed and everything will be over. Isn’t it what he wanted? Without a word he slides the papers inside his laptop bag and walk to the door.

Similar to the times before she walks him to the door and just like it used to be usual, he kisses her forehead and says “Bye”. But this time it doesn’t feel like usual at all.  



The day goes as usual for you. Just like it’s been this past month. You go to work, use your lunch period to pick up Tae and chew on a small bun to get you through the day. You make sure Tae doesn’t mess around and does his homework, then you take his hand and go back to the journey back home. You unlock the house, take off your coat, wash Tae’s hands and heat up the dinner you cooked the previous day. As if everything is the same but at the same time nothing is.

Even if usually you always manage to put a smile on your face just for the sake of your son, today you can’t. Today you can’t force yourself anything. You don’t have enough energy. And you know Tae feels it. Not just your feelings but you can see the same mood from him. Your son hasn’t smiled all day and you hate it. You hate it more than anything.

You know what changed. The hope is gone. Even if you spent the month alone you hoped, you wished Jongin would wake up and just come back, for you the bright future of your family wasn’t torn. You still hoped, deep down in your heart. Now you know it’s over. You lost. You lost him.

You finally manage to set the table managing not to break down seeing the number of plates. You will stay strong for your child. He deserves to have you properly functioning. Tae comes from his room slowly and sits down by your low table.

“Eat well, Tae.” You smile warmly and reach to kiss his head. He smiles too. And how can a five year old’s smile even be so full of sadness.

You’re just about to eat when you hear the lock of your front door open. You don’t know what to think. Your motherly instincts are reaching for Tae in case of a burglary. Why would a burglar step inside your house so calmly, it’s irrational you know, but you can’t give yourself any false hope that maybe what you think is happening, is actually happening.

You’re only looking at Tae, afraid to look straight at the entrance and you see your son’s face change. From curiosity to confusion and finally a shy and timid smile forms on his face.

“Daddy.” He calls.

You finally look forward.

“Started dinner without me?”

Jongin is standing with his suitcase, dressed warmly in a winter coat, his shoes are already neatly arranged in their proper place. There’s a small pout on is face for emphasis.

He looks godly.

He looks like home.

Tae looks lost, but you’re sure you’re even more confused. But your son fixes himself in a second and runs to hug his dad, like he would every day. Your son can control himself very well, but you’re sure Jongin can also see just how happy he is to see his dad, home.

You don’t let down your guard yet.

You stay frozen at your seat.

“Ahh, today was such a tiring day at work, I can’t even stand on my feet.” Jongin yawns and takes off his coat. “I’ll go wash my hands. Y/N can you please check my bag? There’s so much trash in there from work, could to throw it out? Or I’ll forget and it’ll stay there for days…” he continues talking down the hallway, his voice slowly disappearing.

I have to add a plate you think, but first, you walk over and pick up Jongin’s suitcase, opening the zip. You see paper, torn to little pieces. Torn so fiercely you wouldn’t have recognized it hadn’t you put it here in the morning. 

It’s the divorce papers.

And even though they’re destroyed, you can clearly see, there’s not a trace of Jongin’s signature.  


any kind of reviews are welcome you know that guys please flood my askbox!

Imagine spending time abroad doing research for your next novel. You’re taking notes at your hotel restaurant in Dubai when you see Tom, your ex-husband, walking towards you. He looked so good it made you angry - his sleeves rolled up, his hand casually in his pocket. Regardless of what he was about to say, you had to stay angry to keep yourself from falling for him all over again.

how scared are you right now pickles

I try to stay off Twitter these days because I’m trying to live a more positive and productive life and getting drunk five nights a week and yelling at strangers on the internet is not an integral part of that plan. Also, my family members have started following me and “liking” my tweets about farts and cussing, which makes the prospect of doing tweets about farts and cussing – otherwise a large part of my brand – rather less enticing.

As a result, I spend more time on Facebook, yelling at the friends and relatives of people I care about, because I give very few fucks at this particular juncture and if your ex-husband thinks bitches need to “settle down” about that Google dude who Google-emailed his Google-colleagues about how women are naturally bad at computers, I have no qualms whatsoever about giving him a piece or two of my mind. I love going on Facebook to yell at Uncle Breitballs. 

But this afternoon I logged on to find my friend Dan asking a question that, to be honest, I was not planning on entertaining. I was just gonna pop in to tell some middle-aged white women with MAGA avatars to fuck off and go about my day. Instead, Dan asked: “How scared are you, right now, of yourself or someone you love dying because of a nuclear war?”

Wait. Does Dan mean like, the residual low-level fear of knowing a man with the moral and emotional strength of cheap toilet paper has the nuclear codes? Or like, did a thing happen?

A thing happened. North Korea says they’re gonna attack Guam, and Donald Trump is going to blow up the entire goddamned planet to teach North Korea a lesson. I mean, or it’s just a couple of wildly insecure men who don’t give a fuck about turning the mental health and physical safety of tens of millions of people into collateral damage in their dim dude pissing contest.

I decided to make pickles, because either I’m going to eat the pickles, or the people who ransack my decimated home in the aftermath of a nuclear strike will eat the pickles. They will have Joshua McFadden’s Six Seasons cookbook to thank for them. 

HOW SCARED ARE YOU RIGHT NOW PICKLES

BRINE:

Half a cup of rice vinegar

a tablespoon of white wine vinegar (I used sherry vinegar, who cares)

1.5 cups of hot water (I used hot tap water, I guess you could kettle it)

5 tablespoons of sugar (I might accidentally have put in six)

1 tablespoon of kosher salt

VEGETABLES:

Some green beans or carrots or radishes or whatever else you ripped from the limp grip of a neighbor dying of radiation poisoning. 

also some garlic cloves, smashed

DIRECTIONS:

Put all that shit together and stir it until the seasonings dissolve. Put your veggies in a jar with the smashed garlic cloves and pour over the brine. Refrigerate and eat until your extremities wither.

One Shot Masterlist

Avengers

Thor

When Love And Morality Collide (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

Thor is jealous of your close relationship with Loki. He’s jealous of that nobleman you keep flirting with at dinner. He’s jealous of everyone and everything you come in contact with. But when you start to get handsy - or footsy - under the table at dinner, suddenly he’s not so jealous anymore.

Bruce

Banner Of Fears (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

Taking place in the first Avengers, you and Bruce have just been brought onto the team for your expertise in physics. Bruce is none too happy to put you in danger, but you soon learn he’s more scared of the threat he poses.

Loki

A Pearl In The Rocks (completed)

Thor dumped Loki with the Avengers, believing it would help his little brother. It wasn’t long before the two of you became fast friends, and you ended up being the only person in Stark tower Loki would talk to.

Promise (completed)

You are Loki’s old lover and Thor has brought you down to convince him to stop his madness and go home. It doesn’t end the way he’d planned, and Stark soon discovers the lengths that Loki is willing to go to just for you.

The Old Meets The New (completed)

Loki is up to his usual antics. And by antics, I mean trying to poach you from the Avengers and turn you Loki-evil (outside of a coffee shop no less). But when your ex-husband approaches, he finds out that he’s not the scariest thing in your life. When he finds out why you’re more scared of a Midgardian than you are of him, things get messy.

Frozen In Time (completed)

This is set in an AU where Loki is temporarily teamed up with the Avengers due to mutual benefit. It is also a crossover with Supernatural. You and Loki have always had a close bond. Ever since you met, you only felt like you could depend on each other, making you an inseparable duo. One day, Loki is possessed by a demon and tortures you. The Winchester’s and Castiel are brought in to get the two of you back, but when Loki is exorcised things between you are shaky. You find yourself unable to be near him and Loki’s self-hatred begins to eat away at him. Can the two of you ever regain the bond you had before? Or will this mean the end of both of you? 

Loki/Reader/Thor

What We Want And What We Get (NSFW)(incest - not between Loki and Thor)(completed)

For thousands of years, Loki has given in to his dark desires. And, for thousands of years, Thor has resisted his. But Loki’s patience has run thin when he realises you - his little sister - is becoming increasingly distressed by Thor’s rejection. Loki finally takes things into his own hands and shows Thor that giving into his desire for his little sister is worth the guilty conscience.

Clint/Reader/Bruce

Hurt The One You Love (NSFW)(completed)

You’re an assassin. Having spent most of your childhood living in institute’s like Natasha’s Red Room, you’ve learned to live and breathe the lifestyle. After dropping off the map suddenly, you resurface again five years later to take Fury up on his offer of a place in the Avengers. But you’re different than you were. Your guilty conscience is weighing down on you and you find yourself questioning everything you’d done in the last five years. To make matters worse, throughout your stay with the Avenger’s, you’d developed feelings for Clint. The battle of New York had kept you occupied but ever since it ended you’d been drowning in the guilt and shame of your past and battling your feelings for a man that could never love the person you were. In an effort to rid yourself of those feelings, you fall into the arms of Bruce. A man that knows all too well what it’s like to be afraid of your own monsters. 

Bucky

It Takes A Village To Make It (completed)

After a year of you and Bucky trying to have a baby, you find out you have polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Pretty Tears And Dead Soldiers (NSFW)(incest)

You and Bucky have been running around together for what seems like forever. Hiding your relationship from the world and appearing to everyone else as the perfect siblings with the perfect relationship. No one had seen a brother and sister be so close before. You spend your alone time together, making promises and breathing in each other’s skin. But what happens when Bucky enlists in the army? Decades of heartbreak, death, and a super-soldier with amnesia that can’t seem to shake his memory of you.

A Strange Kind Of Home (completed)

Bucky comes to after another one of his ‘brainwashed’ episodes. Only this time, he doesn’t remember who you are. Steve fights for you to tell him who you are but you’re convinced it’s not what’s right. How could you tell Bucky who you are and force him to relive a nightmare he’d forgotten?

Tony

You Made Me (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

At a young age, Tony had learned the hard way that no one loved their baby sister’s the way he did. But when that forbidden knowledge entered his brain, it didn’t stop the two of you from traveling the world just so you could play at being a couple for a night. And then your parents died and you ran away from the guilt, leaving Tony behind to build an empire in your name. But now you’re back - years later - and Tony wants nothing more than to pick up where the two of you left off.

You 1, Tony 0 (completed)

Imagine winning an argument that you and Tony Stark are having, and the rest of the Avengers all being super impressed. 

Bucky/Reader/Steve

The Broken Musketeers (NSFW)(completed)

You’re a morally flawed person, and yet Captain America is your best friend. In an attempt to teach you how to be a good person, Steve asks you to look after his friend Bucky while he’s on a mission. Little did you know, Steve hadn’t just wanted you to babysit a PTSD-ridden super soldier. He wanted you and Bucky to save each other.

Steve

When Plans Go Awry (NSFW)(completed)

After months of you and Steve beating around the bush, you ask him to help you put on lotion one day. That was just the push Steve needed to go that step further.


Supernatural

Team Free Will

Funerals and Cocoons (completed)

You’ve been asked to give the eulogy at a relative’s funeral. However, your nerves almost get the best of you and Team Free Will are there to support you when it’s finally over.

A Crusade For Innocence (completed)

You crash one of TFW’s hunts in an attempt to team up with them. Impressed by your skills and reputation as a hunter, they agree. Months go by and suddenly they notice changes in you. It doesn’t take them long to figure out it has to do with your traumatised childhood you suffered at the hands of demons.

Sam/Reader/Dean

When The Student Becomes The Teacher (NSFW)(wincest - not between Sam and Dean)(completed)

Based on this request: I was wondering if u could write one with SamxSis!ReaderxDean? Where they’re teaching her how to touch herself and stuff happens.

The Taboo Is In The Blood (NSFW)(wincest - not between Sam and Dean)(completed)

Growing up, it had been you and Sam against Dean and John. And then John died, Sam came home and suddenly it was the three of you against the world. What grew from that was a love and desire that none of you were willing to admit to - Sam and Dean had fallen in love with their little sister.

The Morning After (completed)

You and Dean have been dating for a long time, but after Bobby died things started to go downhill. Dean became aggressive. He started drinking more and picking fights where none existed. Then one night - after a hunt goes wrong - Dean ends up in another one of his drunken spirals and says things to you that he can never take back. He wakes up in the morning - expecting to kiss and make up - only to find you gone and Sam berating him before chasing after you.

Nightmares  (NSFW)

You (reader) will be inserted into the Supernatural storyline (starting from s7ep17) as the girlfriend of both Sam and Dean. You were molested as a child and ended up in a mental health hospital as a result. This is where you meet Sam and Dean, and your polyamorous adventures begin. In this story, you must find a way to balance your hunter life, romantic life, and mental illness. 

Sam

Would You Live For Me? (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

You and Sam share a dark secret from your teenage years, but after he went off to Stanford, everything changed between the two of you. Now it’s years later and you’re going on a date. When you come home crying, Sam is to the rescue and he suddenly remembers everything he’d forgotten whilst at college.

Wednesday’s In July (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

For most of his life, Sam had struggled with his feelings for his little sister. Little does he know, you aren’t as innocent and sweet as he thinks you are.

Collar Me Vanilla (NSFW)(completed)

Imagine being vanilla and Sam introduces you to the world of BDSM.

Numb (completed)

When Sam lost his soul, you lost a part of yourself as well. After spending months on the road with the cold imitation of the man you used to love, you finally break and try to end it all. Except Sam isn’t ready to let you go - no matter if he has a soul or not. 

Dean

High In Love (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

Dean’s been fighting his feelings for you for a long time. But what happens when you’re so doped up on drugs after a bad hunt that you confess your own feelings?

Waiting For Life To Begin (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

You and Dean had been closer than you should have been when you were teenagers. When you’re both caught by John, a fight breaks out and you’re sent away. Dean is forbidden from ever seeing you, and try as he might, he can’t find you. Fifteen years later, he tries to move on with another woman. Then you turn up on his doorstep.

Home (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

Based on this request: I was wondering if you could do a wincest Deanxreader nsfw; Dean is secretly in love with shy reader and one day she finds his journal full of his dreams and pictures of her? And he walks in and is super embarrassed like the puddin’ he is?

When Love Isn’t Enough (completed)

Dean shows up on your doorstep beaten and bloodied. You let him in - no questions asked - just like you always do. But after having broken up two years prior, these little visits are starting to take a toll. You’re forced to ask yourselves why you keep holding on to each other the way you do.

To The Moon And Back (completed)

Just a short one-shot on how Dean Winchester would propose to you.

The Demons Of My Past (completed)

Ever since coming back from hell, you’d been suffering from flashbacks and nightmares of what happened. Knowing exactly what you’re going through, Dean offers to stay by your side and help you fight through it. 

Castiel

Angels And Winchesters (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

The Winchester’s have always had a thing for Castiel’s little sister, but when Dean takes it too far one day, they soon find out that so does Castiel.

A Serving Of Awkward Wrapped In A Shy Little Bow (completed)

You’re desperately in love with Cas but you’re so awkward and shy around him that it’s comical. And, of course, in true Winchester style, Dean and Sam tease the hell out of you for it. 

Angel (NSFW )(completed)

You’re trying on clothes in a dressing room when your kinda - boyfriend Castiel drops in for a visit. You try and reprimand him for crossing boundaries again, but that all dies on your tongue when he says Dean gave him the sex talk and he doesn’t want to wait for you to get home to try out what he’s learned.

Lucifer

For My Love, An Apocolypse (completed)

You’re Gabriel’s soulmate. Fated by God himself to be connected to the angel. Of course, being best friends, it’s something the two of you get a kick out of and make the most of. But one day Gabriel starts panicking and jumping you from country to country. Then Lucifer catches up to you and insists he has something to confess. Gabriel fears that there will be blood on your hands if Lucifer doesn’t get what he wants. But what could the Devil possibly want from you? 

Balthazar

A Silk And Lace Kind Of Christmas (NSFW)(completed)

Based on this request: Can you do the reader calling for Balthazar so she can surprise him in her holiday lingerie but once he actually shows up, she gets a little insecure and he comforts her and then loving/rough sex

A Little Bit More (NSFW)(completed)

This was based off an old imagine: Imagine having teased Balthazar all night and then he finally breaks and fucks you against the wall.

Blowing Off Steam (NSFW)(completed)

You and Balthazar had never gotten along. The minute the two of you were in the same room together WW3 broke out. Only this time it’s different. This time the tension breaks and suddenly your sexual frustration isn’t so frustrating anymore.

Invasion Of Privacy (NSFW)(completed)

Whilst in the shower, you accidentally pray to Balthazar. Of course, he shows up and insists on joining you. You manage to stand your ground but not before he leaves you with jelly-like legs, a rapidly beating heart and a promise that there’ll be more.

Gabriel

Sweet Promises (NSFW)(completed)

Much to your dismay, Gabriel pays you a visit. As usual, you go on the defensive and threaten his life, only this time he manages to finally see the self-deprecating core of your anger. He then takes it upon himself to show you just how much you’re worth.

Chuck

God The Imperfect (completed)

Chuck agonises over your contradictions and his feelings until Charlie tells him to buck up and ask you out.

Kevin

God Gets What God Wants (completed)

Based on this request: The reader really likes Kevin but she is more on the road then the boys so she and Kevin talk barely, write more. And they send each other hearts and kiss emojis and stuff like that. And one day when he is kind of down/exhausted from working on the tablet, she tells him that he is lovely and loveable and she would date him and he says that back but they both think it’s just platonic what they have and so no one makes a move. Then he dies. Then chuck brings him back instead of sending him to heaven. Then it continues, just that she is in the bunker more often Till Chuck is tired of them and says that it took him so long to make them perfect for each other and he doesn’t want his work to be for nothing?


Doctor Who

Clara Oswald

Doctor Matchmaker (completed)

Short fic involving the Doctor meddling in Clara’s love life.

11th Doctor

Never Change (completed)

Imagine being the Doctor’s companion as a child, and after leaving him and growing up to get a job in the FBI, you run into him again. But this time, he’s in handcuffs.


Sherlock

Sherlock

We’re All We’ve Got (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

As children, the world had ostracised you and Sherlock - your family being the main culprit of this - but it wasn’t until the two of you grew up that you figured out why. It was because everyone had seen, long before either of you did, that you were more than just siblings to each other.

Sherlock/Reader/Moriarty

Cat And Mouse Game (completed)

You and Sherlock are best friends, have been for a while, and he’s begun developing feelings for you. Unfortunately, you’re in a semi-secret relationship with Moriarty.

Moriarty

Invaluable Assets (NSFW)(incest)(completed)

Just smut without plot.

Happy Anniversary (completed)

Imagine Sherlock learning you and Moriarty were childhood sweethearts when you walk in on them having tea.

Every Other Weekend pt. 8

Prompt: After five years of marriage and two kids, you and Bucky decide you can’t make it work anymore.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1,538

Warnings: divorce, angst, cheating, language

A/N: TAGGING IS CLOSED. i am sooo sorry it has taken me so long to get this up but thanks for hanging in there! hope the wait was worth it.

Tagged: @bicevans @thorne93 @winterboobaer @marvelfandom-stuff @all-around-geek@cchrriissuuu@katexbishopx @justreadingfics @frolicsomefawkes@dasani-saraai@awwtommo@aenna-4@courtneychicken@lorenaheartsyou@goldwanderer@irepeldirt @tardisin221bst @ok-ladies-lets-get-in-formation@redroomproperty@elegantnightmareshiro@stomachfilledwithbutterflies@demongodess@buckyb-avengers@redlipstickandplaid @panda-reads-stuff @basse53 @chipilerendi @jenn48041

Part 7

——

Originally posted by campercooperpugfi

(let’s pretend his hair is as long as it is in the fic. the gif just fits too perfectly.)


“Dad, no!” Gavin latched himself onto Bucky’s leg, crying. It was what you wished you could have done. But it would have been frowned upon. At least if it was your son acting out, it was acceptable.

“I have to go.” Bucky fought Gavin on his leg, handing you the bag you’d given him the week before. “You get to go home with your mom.”

“But I want you.” Gavin continued to cry, his tears wetting Bucky’s jeans. You felt helpless. You wanted to scoop up your son and protect him. You had wanted to since all of this started. It wasn’t his fault, but he didn’t know. All he knew was his dad picked him up, they spent a week together and then he dropped him back off to you. That was one of the hardest things. You were unable to tell your son why his dad wasn’t home, why he left.

“Come on baby. Dad’s gotta go.” You frowned, holding Avery with one arm and bending down to help Gavin. Gavin cried harder, grasping at the folds in Bucky’s jeans.

“I’ll see you next week.” Bucky nodded, seemingly unfazed by Gavin’s cries.

You fought a scoff. “Yeah. See you then.” You sighed, picking Gavin up and walking to the car. Bucky didn’t stick around any longer than he had to. You blocked Gavin’s view of his father driving out of the parking lot.

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Conversation that happened in my dream last night
  • Diana Prince/Wonder Woman: Where's my chicken?
  • Kara: I ate it
  • Diana: Why?
  • Kara: Batman made me
  • Diana: You listened to him?
  • Kara: He was going to dishonor my cow
  • Diana: What cow?
  • Kara: The cow your mom gave me
  • Diana: We don't have cows
  • Kara: She stole him from Wolverine's farm
  • Diana: Who?
  • Kara: Your ex-husband
Second Time Around - (Taeoh’s  4th Birthday)

Synopsis: Jongin struggles to balance life as an idol and life as a father. His four year old son is growing up and beginning to notice his absence and attempts to find a fatherly figure in your boyfriend, Seunghyun. 

Word count: 5,538

Characters: Kim Jongin a.ka Kai (EXO), Oh Sehun (EXO), Choi Seunghyun (BigBang), Kim Taeoh, and other EXO members. 

Warnings: Eyebrow Shaving, Gum Stuck in Hair, Sehun’s dancing skills, and Taeoh and Kai’s cuteness. 

Part One

Originally posted by kaitty88

Originally posted by lil-duckling

The flight to Paris was horrible. It was ten hours of constant panic attacks from you, Taeoh fidgeting in his seat whining at the top of his lungs that he wanted to get off the plane, then there was Seunghyun who had lost his phone and made all the flight attendants help him look for it because he didn’t have a lock on his phone and had things in it that were not suitable for the public eye. To top it all off, you were sprawled on the bathroom floor of the plan for almost half of the trip vomiting because of altitude sickness.

When the three of you finally got off of the plane you were all half dead and beyond pissed off. You reeked of vomit and had dark circles under your eyes which contrasted your sickly green skin. Seunghyun had bags on every limb of his body and apart from having to hold Taeoh’s hand, he had to half-carry half-drag you through the airport because you were so weak your knees wobbled every time you took a step. Taeoh looked like a train wreck, his usually silk hair resembled a bird’s nest. He had snuck a piece of gum out of your purse and somehow managed to get it stuck in his hair. You were honestly too sick to care.

Seunghyun looks at you then Taeoh before chuckling to himself. “Thank god for masks.”

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BTS REACTION (Hyung Line): They mistake your quinceañera photo for a wedding photo.

I did this for pure funsies. To all my fellow Latinas out there.

Fun fact: My quinceañera dress was actually a wedding dress but because it was champagne nobody really thought much about it. 😂 Please enjoy!

-Admin Goddessmoony


S E O K J I N:

He is cleaning out the closet and finds a box of yours that has dozens of pictures in it. He sees a photo of you in a white dress with a bouquet of pink roses in your hands, eating a piece of bread given to you by a priest, and next to you is a man in a black suit doing the same. The picture is blurry but the effect it has on him is clear. He has a ring in his pocket and a future planned out, but how can he propose when apparently you don’t trust him as much as he thought you did?

He wants to talk to you about it immediately and goes to the kitchen where you are enjoying a bowl of cereal as a snack. He slides the picture to you, “What is this?”

His tone is one of frustration, which causes you to scrunch your brows and pick up the photo. “A photo of my quinceañera ceremony? Wasn’t this in a box in the closet?”

“A photo of what?”

“My quinceañera…In my culture, at the age of 15 girls are considered women. Families hold a religious ceremony and big party in celebration.”

He looks at you in confusion, “Then why do you look like a bride?”

You huff, “Years later and I still get this shit! Wait, did you think I was married?!”

“What? No…” Before you can reply back he pecks you on the lips, “But what do you think of becoming a bride?” He takes out the ring from his pocket and gets down on one knee, “Will you marry me?”

Originally posted by jhopefluxo

too smooth

Y O O N G I:

He takes a quick glance at the picture on the desk of your office. It’s a photo of you in a white dress, laying your head on the chest of a man in a black tux with his arms around your lower back. You and the man are looking at each other with joyous smiles. He frowns a bit, but decides that he does not give a crap about you having already been married. In fact, he’s thankful that your fool of an ex-husband let you go because then you wouldn’t be with him.

From then on, he is extra affectionate towards you. Letting you know how much you mean to him and expressing his love more often. He doesn’t want to risk losing you over him appearing to be unappreciative of you. It’s not until you introduce him to the man in the photo that he even remembers you had been married before.

“Yoongi, this is my best friend M/F/N.”

He looks at him with a tilted head and scrutinizing eyes, “You’re that guy from the picture on her desk.”

Your friend laughs, “That picture from her quinceañera? It’s so old but it’s her favorite one of us.” Later, he discreetly googles quinceañera. Satisfied with the information that you were indeed not married to your best friend, Yoongi asks him for advice on how to propose to you.

Originally posted by dreamyoongi

H O S E O K:

He is helping you unpack your stuff into the new apartment. While you are in the kitchen fixing up lunch, he comes across a white lace album with a gold heart that has August 25 threaded in white on the lower left. Curious, he opens it and on the very first page there is a picture of you in a beautiful white dress, with a bouquet of hydrangeas in your hands, and a handsome man in a white suit with his arm around you. Your smiling the widest he’s ever seen and the man is looking at you affectionately. Hobi doesn’t notice the subtle signs of youth, too taken aback by how radiant you look. Then his mind goes to a screeching halt, ‘WAIT, SHE WAS MARRIED ADFSJKL?!?’

He wonders why you haven’t told him, aren’t you two in a serious relationship? You are moving in with each other! But then, he thinks of all the possible reasons for you to get divorced when you clearly looked happy, and becomes determined to express to you that you can confide in him more.

You walk in with a plate of sandwiches and see the album in his hands. “Oh, is that my quinceañera album? I never finished that.”

“Your what?”

Originally posted by jkookisdaddy

after explanation

N A M J O O N:

He’s waiting for you to get ready for your date. It isn’t the first time he’s been in your apartment but it’s the first time he actually pays attention to the things around him. Looking at all the pictures you have on your fireplace, he notices an elegant silver frame that’s been pushed to the far back. He wipes off the dust on the frame with his sleeve. The picture is of you in a white dress, holding a man’s hand with your right right, and in your left there is a large bouquet of baby breaths. The priest behind the two of you has a bible against his chest and is wearing a fatherly grin. You are wearing a smile that shows all teeth and the other person is looking at the floor with their own toothy one. The picture is taken from a distance so your age isn’t discernible.

He takes a deep breath, ‘Okay Namjoon, so she was married and hasn’t told you. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t trust you. She’s just not ready yet, which makes sense…Even though it’s been six months…God, we are both in our 20s, she must have gotten married young. I hope her divorce settled easily.’

You walk into your living room and immediately recognize the silver frame in his hand. “Oh, I thought I lost that!” You smile as you look at the photo from over his shoulder, “That reminds me, it’s going to be my little cousin’s quinceañera soon. I think it’s a good opportunity to have you meet my family.”

“…That makes a lot more sense,” he says out loud, which causes you to look at him in confusion.

Originally posted by lil-unicorn-yixing

Boooooiiii, where that above 140 IQ at.

Edited: July 16, 2017


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Mom doesn’t wish to see you [Part 4](Bruce Wayne imagine)

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Requested: Yes
Request:   PART 4 OF MOM DOESNT WANNA SEE YOU WHERE THEY GO ON A DATE AND KISS AND MAYBE THE KIDS STALKING THEM CASUALLY AND SEE AND GET EXCITED, BLOW THEIR COVER BUT BATMOM IS ACTUALLY PRETTY HAPPY;; OR WHERE THE GIRL WHO HE CHEATED ON BATMOM WITH FLIRTS WITH BRUCE BUT HE LIKE SHUTS HER ASS DOWN SO FAST BC HE LOVES BATMOM
Summary: Not only do you find out that you’ve been cheated on, but so do the boys, and the aftermath.
Word count: 683
Warning(s): cheating, divorce

You had just changed from your work clothes, fixing your makeup and giving your hair a quick brush through when you heard a knock on the apartment door. Looking at the digital clock on the shelf, a large 7:58 is displayed. You smile to yourself, Bruce was almost always very punctual. 

Opening the door, you see your ex husband looking as handsome as ever, a bouquet of flowers in hand, wearing quite casual clothing. “Here,” He says, giving you the bunch of flowers. You quickly navigate through your home, finding a vase, cutting off a little bit of the stems of the flowers, before placing them in the water filled vase next to the other flowers. “Thank you, shall we?” You ask as you grab your purse before stepping out with him, locking the door behind you.

Bruce took you to this old bar, the decorations were very western style, old posters and such put up on the wall. You found it quite nice, also a stark contrast to your usual dates, it felt nice to have a change.

So how’s it been?” Bruce asks, as you sit at a table facing each other. “Busy as usual,” You sigh, stirring your drink in its glass. “The boys seem happy to see us try again,”  He smiles, putting his hand on yours on the table. “Damian right?” You ask, slightly chuckling, “Yeah, Damian especially, but all the other boys seem to be a lot more content too,” He says. “They’re probably excited that they don’t have to have dinner with me once a week, “ You say, as the waitress brings your food to the table. 

You talk and eat, the conversation flowing great, just like it did when you first got married. But Bruce had caught unwanted attention from someone else in the bar. She closes her compact mirror, smacking her lips slightly to fix her lipstick before making her way over.

Hi Bruce, it’s nice to see you,” She says putting her overly manicured hand on his shoulder. “Hi,” He says back, bluntly, shrugging off her hand. You focus your eyes on your food, knowing exactly who that is. When you had found out Bruce was cheating on you, this was the exact secretary, whom to your knowledge was fired soon after. “What do you want,” Bruce asks, not bothering to look at her, “You,” She smirks back, making visible anger and distaste appear to boil in the man.

No, never speak to me ever again, I don’t want to see you anywhere near or I’ll have a restraining order taken out, “ He says, little to no emotion in his voice. “So I was just a toy to you,” She says bitterly, before the clicking of her heals leaves through the door. Looking up you could see her wiping her face as if in tears in the window.

I’m so sorry about that,” Bruce apologizes, giving your hand a squeeze, “No, it’s alright,” You smile, even though it didn’t reach your eyes. “That’s long over, it never even started, she’s just bitter she got fired,” Bruce explains. You nod, putting more food in your mouth.

A little while later you had finished eating, “Wait here, I’ll go pay,” Bruce instructed, going to the bar. You slipped on your jacket, and hung your purse over your shoulder. “Let’s go,” He says, offering you his elbow to hold on to. 

He walks you to your apartment door, through the dark and cold streets of Gotham. You talked the whole way there. As it was time to part ways, Bruce seemed nervous. “What’s wrong?” You ask him, giving both his hands a squeeze in front of you. “I would want to kiss you good night, but I don’t know if you’ll allow me to.” He says, smiling sweetly. You lean up to him, placing a soft kiss on his chapped lips, your chin grazing his rough five o’clock shadow slightly.

Good night Bruce,” You smile, pulling away, entering your apartment. He stands there, a goofy smile on his face as your door clicks locked.


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With love,
-K

anonymous asked:

Leonard snart x reader? Maybe some angst that ends in a happy ending of fluff and smut?

Sorry I took so long to get this done for you sweet anonymous human. There’s angst and fluff. Not really a smutty story, maybe a little titillation. Hope you like it if not I can try again.

Warning wise I’d say hints of an abusive ex. Hints of possible murder


 

Broken Door

      Huddled in an alley behind a dumpster, you had hoped your ex-husband hadn’t seen you. How was he able to find you? You scream when hands grabbed you.

     Familiar hands, friendly hands. “Wake up, kitten.” You stopped screaming. “You are having a nightmare.” The soothing sound of your friend’s voice. “Calm down or you’ll hurt yourself and me.”

     “Len?” He was so close to your face. Leonard looked concerned. “How’d you  get in?”

     “You were screaming. So I let myself in.” He was still in his parka, he and Mick must have been up to mischief. “I sent Mick to buy you a new door.”

     “You broke my door?”

     “As I said you were screaming, I let myself in.” What he didn’t say was that he was worried. But it was there in his tone. He took off his coat and and hung it on the doorknob of your closet door. Leonard sat down on the bed and sat quietly a bit before speaking, “He won’t ever hurt you again.”  

     You never asked what they did to him to make him leave. In the back of your mind you knew he was dead and that your friends had something to do with it. “I know.” You wrapped your arms around Leonard needing that human contact, he tensed up.

     Leonard was never really a hugger, he was hesitant about returning the hug. But he didn’t want you to pull away, so he pulled you into his lap and hugged you close breathing in your scent, committing it to memory. You were suppose to be his, he let you slip away and you came back, but he kept hesitating. “You never should have been with him, (y/n).”

     “I know that, now.” You whispered softly. You were where you wanted to be for so long, but even now his holding back was frustrating. “I’m not broken, Len. You won’t cut yourself on my sharp edges.”

       Leonard let out the breath he seemed to be holding. “Never said you were broken, kitten.” You pulled back slightly, letting him see your face. His eyes saying everything his voice wouldn’t say. “I won’t let anyone take you away from me again.” The words left his lips and you kissed him. He ran a hand through your hair, then took control of the kiss. Feeling lightheaded you broke the kiss.

       “Promise?” A whispered question as you shifted in his lap causing Leonard to moan involuntarily.

       “Yes.” he knew better than to do such things, make promises, but he couldn’t refuse. You bit your lip and Leonard leaned back in to steal another kiss. His soft chuckle as he realized you were trying to undo his pants, “What are you doing, kitten?”

       “Helping you get comfortable.” You tugged at his shirt to free it from his pants.

       “Should I help you?” That amused look on his face when you nodded. In one swift move he pushed you off his lap back onto the bed. You had let out a little yelp when he did that, “What other cute little noises do you make, (y/n)?” Leonard yanked off his shirt.

        “Pants, too.” he chuckled at that.

        “Seems a bit unfair, me stripping down while you keep on your clothes, kitten.” He let his pants fall to the floor.

        “Then come take them off me, Len.” You let out a squeal when he jumped on the bed. You tried to roll out of reach but he was too fast for you. Giggling as he straddled you to keep you from escaping.

        Leonard reached down and slowly started unbuttoning your top, “No Bra?” He arched an eyebrow at you. He shifted so you could sit up, slipping off your shirt, before pinning you down. “Do you really want this, (y/n)?” That hesitation again.

       “Do you, Len?” You bit your lip again, afraid he’d pull away. He seemed to make up his mind because he brought his lips close to your ear, the warmth from his breath caused a reaction in your body.

         “I’ve always wanted this, kitten.” gentle kisses along your neck, gasping when he bit your neck, it wasn’t a hard bite, just enough to elicit the response he desired to hear. “Do I keep going?”

         “Please.” Just one word and he used a hand to lightly caress along your ribcage slowly inching it upwards until he cupped one of your breasts in his hand. Leonard ran his thumb over a nipple watching as it stiffened with each pass of his thumb. He did the same to your other breast, smiling at the little soft whimpers you made.

         He captured your lips again, he pinched a nipple and you let out a yelp that was quickly swallowed with his kiss. His tongue sliding against yours as he let his hand trail slowly down your chest, coming to rest on your stomach. You wanted his hand to go lower, “Should we keep going, kitten?” Leonard asked as he broke the kiss, you nodded. “Words.”

        “Yes.” The word barely audible. That hand slowly sliding below the waistband of your panties. And then there were footsteps, Leonard rolled off you pulling the blanket over you as he glanced around looking for a weapon.

       Mick stopped in the doorway, “Got the door.” He glanced at the scene before him, “I’ll go wait out here then.”

       “Yes, you should probably do that.” Leonard said flatly. “Close the bedroom door as well.” Mick shut the door, you could both here him chuckling as his footsteps faded. “Damn.” Leonard let out a sigh. “Raincheck?” You sat up letting the blanket slide off you, giving an innocent smile, Leonard didn’t even bother to look away. “That’s not very nice, kitten.” He grabbed you, pulling you close so he could kiss you, running his hands through your hair, deepening the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck, your breasts pressed against his chest.

      “You need to go fix my door, Len.” He pulled away reluctantly, “you can sleep here tonight.”

      “There won’t be much sleeping tonight, (y/n).”

       I hope that’s a promise.” All you got was a smirk as he left the room.

BROKEN PART TWO: http://imaginingbucky.tumblr.com/post/160774269479/broken-part-one

BROKEN PART THREE:

“So, how does that feel?”

You couldn’t help but moan a little at the sensation. Steve’s hands were like magic.

“You’re really tense in your shoulders.” He said as he continued giving you a massage.

“That’s what having three kids does to you.” You joked.

The relationship that you had with Steve was a good one. It all started when you met him for coffee that Monday four months ago. He had been sweet and humorous the entire time. Sparks flew and now you found yourself with him romantically.

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