i’ve discovered recently that 99% of the time no one really gives a shit about how emotional you are because 100% of the time everyone is too busy being wrapped up in their own issues and lives to care.
it sounds moated for me to say ‘just be yourself!!!!’ because i was a girl who didn’t cry once in front of people for a solid 3 years out of sheer stubbornness. but i’ve found within the past year that expressing emotions as you feel them is just is freeing as wearing a favorite sweater or eating really good food. this is because expressing emotions openly literally makes you a healthier human being. even when you’re miserable it can feel good to cry, or scream when you’re scared, or laugh when you’re happy. i understand you are worried about people thinking you’re fake, but aren’t you kind of living up to that same worry by being closed off/unemotional, when you know deep down you’re the opposite?
I’ve found that the people that matter, the ones that truly care about you, will embrace your emotional side. They will feel for you when you are upset just as they will when you are happy. In fact, I think there’s a possibility they’ll love you more for it, if they are truly your friends. And if they do think you’re weird, or make fun of you for it? Find people that emote just as you. they exist, they’re definitely out there, and they will cry and laugh with you just as loudly.
when i first moved in with my roommate jessie freshman year we were merely acquaintances and we would literally leave the room when one of us was upset to cry in privacy. and now, thanks to my many public meltdowns and exhausted sob fests, we are perfectly happy to curl up on each others laps and cry when the situation calls for it.
being emotional is a very human thing. and i think you’ll find that once you get past the initial fear of it, your emotions are actually amazing ways of connecting with people, of sharing experiences. im much closer to the friends that have seen me cry of happiness, or cry of sadness, than i am to the ones who have only ever known me as sharp witted sarcasm factory.
don’t force it, but also don’t be afraid of it.