your emotional reactions only fuel my want to bring them about

Stitching Up the Seams

Summary: Phil can’t help but notice the boy with dead eyes who wears baggy jumpers all the time and barely talks anymore. Not being able to stand how sad he looks, Phil begins to slip notes into Dan’s locker in hopes of raising his spirits.
Word Count: 2216
Warnings: Implied self harm (doesn’t describe it at all, just implied), cussing, depression
Title Credit: Such Small Hands - La Dispute

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There is a boy with mocha hair and caramel eyes that turn slightly mahogany in the sun who has a dimple in his pale cheek and has long fingers that shake slightly whenever he talks or even when he reaches for things or writes. There is a boy with dark circles under his eyes who comes to school sometimes with curly hair and wears baggy sweaters that he constantly pulls over his hands like he’s nervous about something.

Phil didn’t know what he was nervous about.

Keep reading

SVT Reaction to Realizing They're in Love With You


A/N: Thanks a lot for your request! Sorry that I couldn’t cover the prompt in every aspect that you wanted; I’m only one person. This one kinda got me in my feels but I liked writing it, nonetheless. I hope you like it! (Also note that I try making my reactions as gender-neutral as possible so sorry if it throws anyone off!!)

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Seungcheol: This man would have to sit down for a while, completely isolated to make sure that his feelings were clear. Not that he was unsure of how he felt towards you, he just wanted to confirm if that feeling was actually love. After much deliberation, he’d smile gently to himself and mumble, “I love them.. I love (Y/N)…” As for the confession, he’d probably hint that he’s in love with you rather than directly saying it to you because he’s someone with quite a bit of pride and I feel that it would somehow not let him directly express his feelings to you. But if you can’t catch on to any of his hints quick enough, he’ll surely tell you

Jeonghan: He’d be sure of his feelings towards you immediately. No need to think about it for this guy; just acting upon it. Don’t get me wrong though, he’d be very nervous about telling you, but he would try so hard not to let it show. When he does confess, he’ll be very direct because he doesn’t want to waste time. He’d make sure he’s made you laugh a lot and once the laughing has faded, he’d stare into your eyes and say, “You know I’m in love with you, right,” with the most optimistic look in his eyes pls don’t break his fragile little heart

Jisoo: He’d giggle as soon as he realized that this is what he’s feeling. He’s a very gentle person so his reaction wouldn’t be anything too exaggerated. When he tells you, it would be after a strung out series of cute, small, yet meaningful, gifts. He’ll most likely write it on a tag and attach it to one of the many small gifts he got you and wait for your reaction with the cutest smile on his face. Once he sees you’ve read the tag, you’ll hear the softest, sweetest “I love you” ever spoken

Junhui: This boy would be a hot mess the moment he accepts the fact that he’s in love with you. Despite his seemingly cocky attitude, he’d be in panic mode about how he’ll tell you because he wants to tell you directly but is not sure how. Jun’s confession to you will most likely be really serious and really intimate, for lack of a better word. But the boy is really dorky so he’d be another one to laugh off all the previous stress of admitting his feelings to you

Soonyoung: Hoshi’s the type whose whole world just completely lights up after he acknowledges that he has deep feelings for you. Hyper, energetic Hoshi? Double it because his love for you will fuel him even more. And goodness, this boy would overdo it, on the confession side of the scenario. One word: serenade. He’ll come up with a cute choreography to tell you and he’ll be really giggly and somewhat shy the whole time. None of this would take place in public though. He’ll probably do it during a movie night when he comes back to from the kitchen with a soda, or something of that sort. Brace yourself for lots of smiles and laughs and yelling once you return his feelings with a simple “I love you too”

Wonwoo: He’d be really calm about his realization. He’s also another member to be really indirect about it until he realizes that he doesn’t have any other method of confessing but to plainly say “I’m in love with you.” He’ll wait til you bring up an opportunity for him to say it, even if it means he has to wait weeks or even months; the man has patience. He’d be very sweet about it though, of course. Serious, but very sweet.

Jihoon: His reaction wouldn’t be anything to spectacular. He’d let out a small laugh and the only word he can force out would be “wow.” Now the confession, you already know what I’m about to say for the confession: Woozi will write you a song. It’s a very overused concept for Jihoon, but it’s also the most fitting. He’s a very creative being and wants to make sure he expresses his love for you the way he knows best. He’d play a soothing song about his feelings for you on his guitar and subtly say “I love you,” after playing the last chord of the song and wait nervously for your response.

Seokmin: Would tell you on accident as soon as he realizes he’s in love with you. He’d be just as shocked as you because he didn’t yet process the fact that he said it out loud and not in his mind. Once you assure him that it’s fine and that you love him too, he’d laugh it off and have no regrets about the way he had confessed

Mingyu: Honestly, this kid wouldn’t even be surprised with the fact that he’d fallen for you. He’d casually accept what his emotions were. However, he’s also the type to be entirely too nervous to even begin to think about telling you. He can’t really think of a way to tell you so he eventually tells you after a date when he’s walking you to your door and gosh, he’ll have the biggest smile on his face for the rest of the night. He’ll probably go home and do that little squeal that he does sometimes i’msorry

Minghao: Upon his discovery of his feelings for you, he would be a mix of happy and nervous. Minghao would know that he had fallen for you much long before he actually decides to tell you. So when he eventually does say it, he’ll feel so relieved to finally share such important information with you. He’ll be the type to just directly say it with the most amazing timing for doing so. After confessing, the two of you will just relax in each other’s company in comfortable silence

Seungkwan: Oh goodness, this worrisome little ball would be so nervous to tell you once he comes to terms with this feelings. He’ll consult with his trusted members and ask them for advice, regardless of how embarrassing it would be for him; he’d rather be embarrassed in front of them than in front of you. Whenever he does say it, it’ll be really fluffy and meaningful and there’s a strong chance that he’ll say it by accident btw

Hansol: Aw, Hansol’s reaction to being in love with you would be really cute. It’s like a really cute state of disbelief, but in the best way possible. Similar to Jihoon, he’d want to incorporate music into the confession because it’s such a big part of his life, just as you’ve become. He’d make you listen to a song that describes how you make him feel and he’d tell you directly and then he’d kiss you really sweetly and passionately after bye

Chan: I feel that confusion would be the most overpowering feeling in Chan’s heart after identifying how he feels towards you. He’d constantly question himself, things like, “How did I get to this point?” Whenever he decides to tell you, he’d try to play it cool, which, in all actuality, makes him look kinda silly but it’s something about him that you’ve always admired about him. He wouldn’t be very nervous but he’d mainly be concerned about your reaction when he says those magic words

[06] Run

Originally posted by jiminiemini

Masterlist

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five // Part Six

A/N: This story is inspired by ‘I Need You’ and ‘Run’ This story will contain fluff, smut, drinking, drugs, and angst. No, this story will not be exactly like the MV’s but I have used some scenes and ideas. 

 


PREVIOSULY ON ‘RUN’

“Now I can either zip you up in this jacket or you can just make it easy on us and stick your hands through.“ You just crossed your arms and stared up at him not budging. He slowly began to zip up the jacket, admiring your body along the way, he was closer to you now smiling down at your slightly softened glare. He loved your stubborn glare and your scrunched up red nose, he loved the green apple lingering on your lips like even they couldn’t get enough of you…he loved…you.

“Brat.”

“Pabo.”

*****

Taehyung told you it was okay for you to stay in his room while he was gone, and you were so thankful for his selfless gesture but that also meant you were right next door to Yoongi, and it wasn’t like you were complaining… because you weren’t.

The night he zipped you up in his blue and white bomber hadn’t left your mind, the way his fingers lightly pulled the zipper up, the way you swear he was a bit closer then before, the mixing smell of his cherry flavored lips and your green apple ones were an intoxicatingly beautiful mix. How you wanted so badly to take his face gently in your hands and kiss his perfectly pouty lips, kiss him under the stars that wished thy shined as bright as he did, wished to kiss him under the moonlight that made him look like the most angelic creature in the world. The thought of him not returning the kiss didn’t cross your mind because the thought of kissing him in general felt so right but you couldn’t. He was with Jennie and you would die before you kissed a taken man, you were on the other side of that and never would you hurt another women the way Jisoo and Minho hurt you. You hadn’t yet told Hoseok the events that occurred that night, the only thing he knew was that you were wearing Yoongi’s jacket but you knew it was time to tell him.

You: Hoseok, well you please come to Taehyung’s room. I need my Hobi Horse right now.

Hobi: I’m on my way down.

Within moments Hoseok came into the room and closed the door behind him, as if he knew the drill he went over to the bed and slid under the covers with you. “I almost kissed Yoongi the night we almost got caught spray painting.” You searched his face for any type of reaction but the only one you got was him tucking away one of your fallen pieces of hair. “What happened?” You spilled everything that had happened, the almost getting caught, the song, the jacket and the mistake you almost made. Hoseok listened to your every word, your explanations on why you couldn’t but why you wanted to… and the minute the three word explanation left your lips you gasped in shock. I love him? I love him.

“I love him Hoseok.. I love his stupid stubbornness, and the stupid way he pretends to not care about everything, and his stupidly cute gummy smile. I love how I feel when I’m around him, and the way we can talk about music for an entire night and never run out of things to say.” Your nose tingled slightly as the tears crept in the corners of your eyes, your head couldn’t keep track of your fast beating heart, you were in love with a man that was taken.

Hoseok knew there was nothing to say that would fix the situation so instead he did the only thing he knew to do, he held you close and stroked your hair as you cried softly and silently into his chest. You hadn’t seen Yoongi bring Jennie to the house since that night at the club but you knew they were still a thing due to seeing her name occasionally pop up on his phone screen while the two of you were working on music. You traced circles all over Hoseok’s back as he slept shamelessly, face buried into your neck and arms wrapped around your waist. You laid like so for a good while before your eyes began to feel heavy and sleep took over, flashes of Yoongi playing like a movie montage in your head, because even asleep the boy had total power of you.

A loud thud woke you from your deep sleep followed by muffed yelling and yet another bang. “IT WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT!” You heard Yoongi’s voice boom through the wall that separated his room from Taehyung’s. The thick wall between made it hard to study the tone of his scream, anger? sorrow? both? It was unlike anything you’d ever head before, let alone from him. His loud voice sent Hoseok to jump up and adjust his eyes to the darkness of the room, he looked in your direction as you sat quietly wondering what it was that was happening.

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT? YEAH BECAUSE THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH BETTER!?” It didn’t take a genius to know the female voice screaming back was Jennie, you could hear the anger erupting from the depths of her soul but no matter how much the anger fueled her words there was no stopping the heartache that was laced in as well. Ease dropping on the war next door left a sour taste in your mouth, it was a lingering taste of guilt but you swallowed it back like a shot because there was no need to feel guilty; after all it wasn’t your fault they were screaming at 11:00 pm. “I’M SORRY! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? AS SOON AS IT HAPPENED I REALIZED IT. SO PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IT IS YOU WANT ME TO DO!” Silence. You heard nothing but shuffling from the other side of wall until Jennie’s voice rang louder than usual, she had opened his room door to leave causing her voice to be much more audible. “You may have realized it Yoongi… but it wasn’t the first time either.” The anger subsided and it was now simply hurt and regret, you could hear every crack in her pretty voice and with every step she took as she left Yoongi’s room, not daring to look back, her heart shattered a little more. “What are you talking about?” Now both their voices carried through the closed door your temporary room, the anger in Yoongi’s voice was gone and was replaced with an emotion you could only categorize as complete innocence, it was like he truly didn’t know what she was talking about. “You did it the night we went back to my place after hanging out at the club.” Her voice was broken, shot from screaming and so broken from even having to speak the words she was saying. What did he do? Is this the end of them? What’s going on?

You were to busy wondering about what it was Yoongi could have possibly done to hear the last words Yoongi would ever hear her say, and while you lay mind clouded and distracted, Hoseok listened carefully to her words.

“I really hope you get her someday.”


Hoseok kissed your forehead softly before he hopped out of the bed and made his way towards Yoongi’s room. "Go to sleep sweetheart, I’m going to make sure Yoongi Hyung is okay.“  The door closed behind him and you already knew he wouldn’t be back that night. It wasn’t unlike Hoseok to make sure his friends were okay,you had also noticed the tight bond he and Yoongi had, and maybe that was another reason you began falling for Yoongi. Seeing a softer side when it came to Hoseok, and knowing that obviously the one man you knew would be in your life forever obviously approved the guy you loved.

You heard muffled voices beyond the wall with long pauses of silence in between small conversations, and while you knew what happened beyond that wall was none of your business, you couldn’t help but think of it as your worst enemy.


Yoongi watched Jennie leave, to scared to move and to angry to chase after her. He stood in front of his bedroom door watched her small frame disappear down he stairs, repeating the words that escaped her lips. The memory of that night came flooding back like a tidal wave of repressed memories. He remembered thrusting into Jennie, face buried into her neck as he approached his high. He remembered moaning every curse in the book as her fingernails dug into his skin, and how her mewls and moans filled his ears allowing him to release not only his hot pleasure but also a small and barley audible name. He moaned your name lightly into her neck, not even realizing it came out of his mouth, but he couldn’t help it. Your name rolled off his tongue like it was his name to say, like it was meant to leave his lips at a moment like that.

Granted that time was excused because Jennie wasn’t even sure that is what he had said, but the moment she disappeared underneath the sheets he thought back to a few nights ago when you wore his bomber. He thought of how close the two of you were in the shadows of the building, how easily it came to write a part of a song with you; and as his eyes tightened closed from the hallowing and sucking done by Jennie your name erupted from the depths the most passionate parts of himself. As soon as the name left his lips, his eyes widened and he apologized many times before finally Jennie stood up to leave.

Now here he was siting in front of a recently awoken Hoseok, long pauses between few sentences, Hoseok knew it was only a matter of time before Yoongi's passionate heart erupted and he’d nonchalantly say in a few words what it was that happened… but that wasn’t the case this time.

Yoongi finally looked up to meet Hoseok’s gaze, lips pulled into a straight line and eyes slightly droopy from complete defeat.

“I moaned her name Hoseok, not once but twice.” Hoseok’s eyes widened at the confession, not expecting anything like this to ever come out of Yoongi’s mouth. He was never one to wrong a lover, if he felt it wasn’t working he’d say so, and maybe it was how late it was but Hoseok didn’t realize who it was Yoongi was talking about.

“Who’s?”

“Y/n. I moaned her name.”


You didn’t see Yoongi or Hoseok the next morning and by the time noon rolled by there was still no sign from either one of them. You weren’t to worried about it because no matter how close you were with Hoseok you didn’t need to know what he was doing every minute of every day, as for Yoongi; you had a gut feeling he was with Hoseok. Suppose a guy day was needed from the nasty fight he and Jennie had the night prior.

The day went by slowly, no matter how much stuff you tried to pack into it. The clock ticked by, every minute only made you more anxious for an unknown reason, wondering what it was Yoongi did that caused Jennie to be so angry, or what on earth did that mean for the two as a couple.

You stared blankly at whatever movie it was that Namjoon was watching, not taking in any dialogue the main characters were saying, not even knowing what the plotline was. To be frank it wasn’t even background noise to your unorganized thoughts, your body and brain seeming to go on auto pilot, in fact you hadn’t even realized the pink haired softie had paused the movie as if seeing if you’d notice or not.

“Y/n-ah, go get your jacket, we are going for a walk.” Namjoon’s voice brought you out of your train of thought, but before you could object he was already putting on his sweatshirt and shoes. No matter how much you would have much rather stayed in and continued drowning in your thoughts you obediently grabbed your worn out, yet completely comfortable black hoodie.

The two of you walked in silence through the quiet park for what seemed like forever, leaves fell gracefully to he ground, causing the green grass to be peppered with leaves of different colors, the sky pretty and pastel against the fluffy white cotton candy like clouds that gave off an illusion of pure perfection. How ironic. Such a beautiful scenery for such confusing and depressing events.

“How long did it take you to know you were in love with Minho?” You froze in place, starring at Namjoon with furrowed brows and slightly wider eyes. “What?” He stood in front of you, looking down at your small shape with eyes full of curiosity. “How long did it take you know you were in love with Minho?”

He knew what he was asking was a sore subject, just like he knew the question hadn’t fully registered in your head since its been a good while since you had to talk about or even think about Minho. Joon grabbed your wrist lightly and walked you to the black steel bench that was set nicely under a beautiful cherry blossom tree, letting you take a seat and prepare to answer his question in which he had no intention in taking back. After a possible five minutes you looked down at the ground and spoke.

“If I’m being totally honest, it took me a few months to know, I liked him sure but I knew I was in love with him after a while of being with each other for a while. He told me first and I mean I said it back at the time because I truly knew I could love him. Then a month after that is when I knew.” Namjoon pulled you to his side in a protective manner, he knew how hard it was to relive the past but he also knew what he was doing.

“And how long did it take you to know you were in love with Yoongi?”

The bluntness of the question and even the question itself sent your body to the other end of the bench and your face to turn as pink as his hair. You looked straight into Namjoon’s unphased and serious eyes looking for any sign that he could be joking, looking for any sign to signal he was just joking with you, but to your dismay there was none of the sort. Words were something that seemed way to advanced for you at the moment, mouth agape struggling to find any words to say. Any words at all would have been better then sitting there looking like a complete idiot. Namjoon knew you were either going to deny your oh so obvious feelings for Yoongi, or that you would ask what’ as if you hadn’t just heard the question clearly. “I see the way you look at him Y/n-ah, I just want to know how long it took, not how long it took to admit it but how long it took you to fall in love.”

“I- I don’t know… I think I knew the day I caught him working on ‘First Love’…so I guess that means.. a-around two weeks.” Namjoon’s nicely plump lips tightened into a smile at your adorable confession, he noticed the change in behavior after he had caught yall writing music together, he even noticed a slight change in Yoongi’s grumpy behavior but he wouldn’t dare speak of Yoongi’s feelings if he wasn’t sure.

“I don’t think him and Jennie are a thing anymore, I heard the fight last night too.” Your eyes met his chocolaty ones as he mentioned the fight, you had almost forgotten that Namjoon’s room is directly across from yours, or technicallyTaehyung’s room.

“Y/n, love is a tricky thing, and so is the universe. When you meet someone and click instantly you shouldn’t let the fear of rejection get in the way of that. The path you took when you and Minho we together didn’t work so here you are still in one piece, walking down a new path. One chapter ended and now you are keeping yourself from writing a new one, its stopped in the middle and the universe wants to know what it is you are going to end this chapter with,“ You took in his every word, thinking back to the day you wore Yoongi’s bomber, the day you wanted so badly to take his face in your hands and kiss his slightly chapped lips. Namjoon was definitely the wise one of the guys, always speaking of the universe and all its wonders, you had grown to look up to him as a big brother, the cherry blossom tree above gave Namjoon a small pinky tint to his tan skin, he looked truly beautiful in a innocent way, black sweater paws and matted down light pink hair on top of a soft spoken boy with a heart full of wondrous and wise words. “I’m in no way telling you how to live your life but I am telling you that denying your feelings, keeping your feelings bottled up, and letting fear take over is only going to hurt you more than anything. You’re a nice girl and we all like having you around, Hoseok wrote in another character for our story and its bettered us in so many ways. I know the fight you heard between Yoongi and Jennie has been clouding your mind, wondering if loving him is worth it because of what you heard… I’m not saying this because he is like my brother, but Yoongi is a great guy. I’ve known him longer then I’ve known any of the other boys, he would never do anything to hurt anyone, he is a complete ass but he has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. He cares silently but he cares, and he cares a lot.”

“I know he cares Joonie, I know his heart is big, I noticed it a while back and maybe that might be one of the reasons I fell for him. Hearing the fight didn’t make me wonder if he worth it or not, it just made me curious.” You didn’t want to touch on the fear subject because you knew that was exactly what it was that kept you from making any move, not to mention he said sleeping together was nothing but a drunken night.

You and Joon spoke of past relationships, and emotional healing on the walk back home, and the way you could talk with Namjoon was like speaking to a big brother you never had. Halfway to the house he draped an arm around your shoulder like it was something so natural, that of an older brother looking out for his little sister.

“Well, looks like Hoseok and Yoongs are finally home.” Namjoon stated once we were about two houses away from our own, Yoongi’s car was sitting in the driveway and for the first time that day, it almost felt like home. Taehyung was still away and you missed him dearly, the last time you talked to him was two days ago and he said his trip was nice, that seeing his mom was so exciting.

“Y/N! NAMJOON WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?” Jin shouted from the kitchen doorway as soon as our slightly pink faces walked through the door. The slight chilly breeze from outside left a small pink tint on the tip of your nose, and throughout your cheeks.


Astonishing. Yoongi thought, he watched you and Namjoon enter the room and explain your whereabouts to Jin, who was acting like a total mom. He and Hoseok were sitting on the couch laughing at Jungkook who was yelling at Jimin for “cheating” in Mario Kart, when you came in. He admired the way you looked, rosy cheeks and an innocent laugh in response to Jin’s yelling. Your eyes quickly went to Hoseok and himself and your small smiled remained, you quickly ran over to Hoseok and kissed his forehead, and while that wasn’t unusual Yoongi couldn’t help but wish that was him.

Jennie was nowhere to be found in Yoongi’s overwhelming thoughts, his thoughts consisted of you, and only you. Hoseok knew everything, he knew Yoongi had feelings for you just like you had feelings for him; but he wasn’t the person to tell the other the feelings, so instead he tried to tell Yoongi that he needed to man up and tell you his feelings for you.

Yoongi knew exactly how to do so, in the only way he knew how to. Through music.

“Hey brat, want to try and write a song around that hook we wrote the other day?”

“Yeah, maybe later on tonight?” Yoongi sent you a small nod in agreement before you smiled back and made your way to the kitchen to help Jin cook. He watched as you walked away, how he hated seeing you walk away from him. He knew you were only walking to the kitchen but he couldn’t help but wonder how Minho cd stand to see you leave like that? If he were him he would have never let you go, he would have never hurt you the way Minho did. If it were up to him he would never have to see walk away from him.


The seven of you gathered around the small coffee table in the living room, eating the meal you helped Jin prepare, laughter filled the air just like it always did when you were eating together, it didn’t matter if it was all the boy or half the boys, there was just something about them that made everything better.

Your eyes drifted to Yoongi every so often, taking in how invested he is when he is eating, almost like he had to concentrate on every bite, and when he wasn’t doing that he would shove all his food to one side of his mouth and laugh with the other. He was… beautiful.

There was no need for the background noise of a movie, or even music through the living room speakers, the laughter of time so well spent was enough. It was one thing to go out and cause trouble with the boys but it was another to stay in and eat together, but no matter how different the events the one thing that remained the same was Yoongi’s place. Still he sat across from you, still you sat admiring his beauty in the moments that no one was paying attention.

The hours went by and soon everybody’s empty bowls and plates filled the living room table, you leaned your body into Hoseok’s chest as you watched Jin yell at Jungkook for not watching his language.

“Oh man, holy shit!” You screamed waiting for Jin’s head to snap your way in complete defeat, you were the only person he grew to listen to… or at least the person he couldnt seem to bitch at.

“Y/n come on!! You arn’t helping!” He pleaded, making Yoongi hunch over dying from seeing his hyung so out numbered.

“Hey Yoongz? You ready to write that song?” You asked grabbing everyone’s bowls and plates, balancing them together like you had learned from years in the diner. No one bothered helping you because they knew the minute they reached for something you would snap at them and shout how you were an independent woman who could do things herself.

“Yeah, I’ll go set up everything brat.” Brat. It had became a nickname that he loved to give you and that you secretly loved to receive. The two of you had soft spots but teasing and being playfully mean to eachother was something you had grown to love more then chessy cliche romance.

As you placed all the dirty dishes into the sink, you felt three different pairs of arms around you, Hoseok’s face pressed against one cheek while Jin was pressed against the other, leaving Namjoon to rest his head ontop of yours, as if they had rehearsed this numerous times they hummed “We love you Y/n-ah.” In unison.

Oh my god. Get off of me you fucking girls.” Laughing you kissed them all goodnight, including Jiminie and Kookie, kmowing damn well you and Yoongi were going to work through unholy hours of the night. Grabbing a giant bag of potato chips and a couple of Cup Noodles you made your way up to Yoongi’s.

“Hey Pabo, I brought food for the endless, ungodly hours.”

He smiled in reply as you made your way to your usual writing spot in his room: the corner of his bed right near his giant stuffed Kumamon. He pulled out a journal and read aloud the hook the two of you created a few days prior, and that was the gun shot in the air before the race. You were off. Nothing and no one but the two of you and the heart and soul the pair of you began to pour onto the pages of his tattered black journal.

Cross outs, scribbles, doodles and folded up pages for later. You watched how he slightly jutted out his lower lip as he jotted down lyrics and beats, taking in how his eyebrows knitted together and how occasionally a small smile would creep onto his face as he liked something he wrote.

Reading aloud ideas and adding onto eachothers work like it came so easily. How his words molded in with yours, and yours with his.


He watched as you pressed your small body into Kumamon, and how loose strands of hair fell from your loose pony as you put your blood, sweat and tears into your work. He had your laugh memorized in his head like it was his favorite song, playing it on repeat anytime his heart desired; but here you were laughing at little things to keep him from getting angry or annoyed, it was like standing front row of concert, hearing the greatest hit in person. Because god your laugh had his stomach doing flips.

‘If you love her. Tell her. Period. You either try and get her or you wait it out till your over her before you hurt another girl.’ Hoseok’s stern yet truthful voice echoed through his head everytime his hand would brush against yours when he handed you the chips or when you smiled at him. He had to get over you someway, and the only way he could think of doing so was by confessing and getting the rejection out of the way.

“We should have a career together. Yoongi & Y/n Productions.” You joked, poking him in the sides while the song basically wrote itself, coming along so easily, like it was nothing. Your heart fluttered as you spoke your names like so… it sounded right. Yoongi and Y/n. He agreed, laughing his high pitched screech laugh at your weird dances and terrible puns that were only cute when you did it.


“Yes, two brilliant musical minds creating wonderful music.” He played along, talking about how yall will own the biggest and most successful music studios in Seoul. It was alot of big talk for two people who spend their day sleeping, eating ramen and causing trouble almost every week, but all the two of you were really thinking about was that in this fantasy it involved yall being together.

“Min Yoongi, you are reading my mind.” Once again laughter. Infectious laughter. And in an instant everything changed.

Its amazing how at one moment everything is frozen in time, trying to freeze the happiness and in a blink of an eye..everything… changes.

“Y/n actually I have something to tell-”

Ring. Ring. Ring.

“Oh, hold on Yoongs. It’s Tae.” You pressed answer with a smile, so happy to talk to Taehyung after what felt like forever.

“Hey Gucci Boy, Wha-” muffled crying interrupted you, sending immediate chills down your back. You could tell he was straining to speak from the other line but you let him take his time in finding his words. Yoongi was too focused on what he was going to say next to see the worry on your face and your hand clentching your chest as if that could stop it from tightening.

Silence.

Not even his breathing was audible through the line, and just as you opened your mouth to speak his deep, strained voice spoke up.


“Y/n… I killed him.”


[To be continued]

the posh boy solution

hi hello welcome to the second part of this little piece

part one: the posh boy problem

also available on: AO3

***

Sometimes John calls Sherlock little secret names in his head. Greets him with hey, handsome in the morning, calls him genius when he’s being too clever, calls him pretty man, silly git, sweetheart. But sometimes he just needs to call him,

“You fucking idiot!”

John throws his jacket at the back of his chair in obvious distress. It falls off immediately. He is clearly angry with him, Sherlock has observed the ragged breath and flaring nostrils long ago and drawn his conclusions. He wonders what exactly he’s done wrong to upset him so much. The fact that he (technically not quite) stole a boat or that he managed to fall into the Thames? He himself is just upset about having been forced to sacrifice his woollen coat in order to save himself from drowning. Of course, he owns lots of coats. You never know when an accidence like this one might occur.

While Sherlock swam to the shore, John made sure the jewellery thieves, due to which that boat chase had originally been initiated, did not shoot at Sherlock, and in the process of that received a pretty hard blow to the head. A bump is already growing just next to the vein that always pulsates visibly when John is angry.

“You should cool that,” Sherlock suggests.

“Shut up! I will cool that when I feel like cooling it, I’m a bloody doctor!”

Sherlock swallows. It’s worse than he thought. He cannot deny that he likes John when he is on the right side of angry, but this is probably the wrong side and he is also being yelled at.

“A boat chase, Sherlock?!”

“In my defence-” Sherlock starts, but is interrupted by John raising a finger, ordering him to shut the hell up.

“Take your clothes off.”

Sherlock stares. Sherlock blinks. His mind stays blank for a worryingly long amount of time. Then he remembers. He’s wet. Soaked, in fact, completely down to his bones, and freezing too. It’s taken him a little long to catch up because these words, words spoken in the tone of an army captain, are something he’s last heard two days ago, half asleep and desperate in his own bedroom. Another one of those nights in which his imagination filled in for the needs that reality doesn’t meet.

John is waiting in this charged air of silence, maybe having realised what he just said, maybe not. Sherlock tips his chin up and obeys.

“I’m not so posh anymore now, am I?” he mutters under his breath.

John presses his lips together at this, and Sherlock worries briefly that the vein at his temple might just burst. His eyes withhold a certain kind of spark, like a candle flickering, like the glare of a predator. All of a sudden, Sherlock feels stripped completely naked by those eyes only. Then he comes to realise … He’s stripping down. The ruined jacket abandoned next to his shoes and socks, his shirt hanging open to expose his chest and stomach, and his trousers… he’s in the process of shoving them down his thighs. The process of stripping down to his underwear for John Watson. But he feels naked.

John is walking towards him. Slowly, like he means to break him. He might.

His eyes are boring into Sherlock’s own and electrify the space between them, the air they breathe. Sherlock swallows, once more, but his throat is dry and he is thirsty. He is cold, goosebumps all over his body from the river water and those ocean eyes, but his skin is hot with anticipation.

John steps right into his space. Sherlock can smell him. It does things to him, awful things to his heightened senses. It clouds them, but at the same time he is overly aware of naked skin and of John wearing way too many clothes.

“Yeah,” John whispers roughly, so rough and so low he could hurt himself on that sandpaper voice. “You’re still a fucking posh boy.”

John’s eyes drop, and his breath is ragged, but Sherlock suspects this time it’s for entirely different reasons than anger. He doesn’t know who gives in first, and frankly, he  doesn’t give one fuck about it because the next thing he knows is that John’s lips are on his and it feels like he’s dying and being reborn in one single breath.

They long for each other, and their lips meet so hard it might leave bruises. John is all-consuming, is groaning and opening his mouth by opening his own first. Sherlock’s knees buckle at the sensation that is John’s tongue running over his bottom lip. If this is what it’s like to kiss John Watson, he should be put in chains because it’s dangerous. He walks him backwards, shoves him into the wall next to the kitchen. Sherlock’s trousers have dropped down to his ankles and he almost falls over them, held upright by the hard surface of the wall where he bumps his head into.

Dizzy and with a sharp pain buzzing through the back of his head, he feels weightless when John lifts one of his legs, slowly running his hand over the underside of his thigh, fingers through thin hairs and over hard muscle, and Sherlock’s natural reaction is to wrap his leg around John’s middle and hold on tight, so tight. His trousers are hanging from the end of his foot like one last resort before they fall off and to the floor. The pain wears off, and suddenly Sherlock thinks he can feel everything.

The smooth fabric of John’s shirt and the rough one of his jeans that presses against the lower part of his body. Against his thighs and hipbones and the growing bulge in his pants. John’s one hand is rubbing back and forth over his inner thigh and the soft spot where it dissolves into firm buttocks. A soft spot that draws a quite whine out of the back of his throat. He places his other hand on his face to hold him. Lifting his jaw ever so slightly, his thumb is stroking over one sharp cheekbone, and he kisses him again.

Sherlock still feels like he is dying, but it’s different than it was before. John deepens the kiss, and he feels utterly devoured. He’s never wanted anything more, he thinks. Wrapped up in all of him. It fuels his addictive personality in many dangerous ways, but he cannot think, can only indulge in this dance of drawing back only to lean back in again, tongues against each other in one hot wet mess.

All the blood is running south, and as he wraps his arms around John’s neck, he isn’t quite sure how to feel, much less what he is doing.

John breaks the kiss with a sigh. A long, dreamy sigh Sherlock has trouble interpreting correctly. Is it regret? Relief? Pity? But as he closes his eyes in silence, he brings their foreheads together and leans against him. They stay like this for what seems like minutes over minutes, and it should be uncomfortable, should feel ridiculous - with one of them undressed and the two of them panting against each other - but it doesn’t. They breathe together in unison, and when John draws back to look at him, his eyes don’t show anger, aren’t predatory. They are warm, they are gentle.

“You have no idea how long…” he begins, but doesn’t quite know where he was going with it, or if he wants this sentence to end.

Sherlock’s response gets stuck in his throat and its remains come out in a sob. “Yes,” he manages.

“And all this time,” John continues, “So much time…”

“It’s okay,” Sherlock assures him. His voice is quiet, as if he was afraid of breaking emotions fragile and clear as glass. And when they aren’t clear as glass, they are a thick fog of all the things left unsaid. It’s very hard to see through it, but what he sees is sharp enough. “We’re here now.”

John leans back in. He takes his time now, is gentle in his touches and caresses his cheeks. They feel wet, somehow, but Sherlock doesn’t understand why. It’s like the tears are falling naturally.

“Bedroom,” John whispers.

How many times has he imagined John Watson in his bed before this? He hasn’t kept track, but he knows that this time couldn’t be further from his imagination. Because it is reality. And it feels so, so much better than anything else in the world.

John doesn’t hold anything back with him. He kisses him in every spot, he bites his lip and neck and, oh god, the sensitive skin up, up his thighs. He whispers names into all of those spots, lets them sink into his flesh and travel to his chest where they can burn and glow and melt his insecurities with flickers of bliss.

He calls him love when he breaks a kiss, calls him honey as he buries his face in the crook of his neck, calls him genius when Sherlock touches him in the most intimate of places. He tells him he is gorgeous, tells him I need you and I want you. It’s the hottest thing in Sherlock’s ears, goes straight between his legs. He asks him, Is this okay?, asks almost desperately how, how can I have you?

He calls him you brilliant man when he groans, you pretty, pretty boy. But as he thrusts, harder, yes harder, sinks his teeth into his flesh and moans, as his movements became frantic and they are so close and wrapped in each other with tangled limbs and desperation, and yes, as he comes, the one thing on his lips is Sherlock. Only Sherlock. As beautiful as he has ever heard his own name sound. He’s had no idea his name could sound like this, and he’s not sure how anything else could ever come close to being this good.

They lie together, cuddling and blissed out and fucking happy for the first time in what seems to have taken ages. Sherlock feels a smile stretching across his face. John’s thumb caresses long laugh lines as he is bent over him. But he isn’t smiling back. He looks like something worries him.

“Don’t ever risk your own life like that again,” he warns him, but warns him softly.

Sherlock thinks about it in the most rational way he can. He is very serious when he says, “If risking my life leads to this right here, to you and me, I might just consider it.”

John goes ahead and bites him. Just below his jawline, as he has very recently learned he likes a lot.

Sherlock gasps and John lets go.

“Oh no,” he whispers. “This wasn’t a reward, Sherlock. It was… long overdue. I’m still mad at you.”

Sherlock looks away in honest concern and fear. “Are you really?”

John sighs. “No.”

They cuddle in silence for a long while. Sherlock is very close to falling asleep. He is much closer to losing himself to whatever he feels for John Watson. He knows it is love. He’s not sure how much more it is, but it might just kill him one day. That might just be fine with him.

“You’re my posh boy now,” John murmurs right before he feels himself drift away.

He smiles, honestly. Wholeheartedly.

“I’ve never been anything else, John.”

***

tags:

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Reaction to You Not Telling Them You Met Your EX. . .

Anonymous said: First I want to start off by saying our such an amazing write. Best blog ever. Okay so to the request: a EXO and iKon reaction when you run into your ex but you don’t tell them but they find out from a picture on social media and they confront you about it?? Yay! Thanks! I look forward to it

Reaction to You Not Telling Them You Met Your EX…

[EXO Reaction Here >click]

A/N here’s the last one for this request! hope you like! requests are open, so keep them coming.

Kai Eonni ~


Hanbin…

He would find out through one of his members, and would be shown the pic of you and your ex having a friendly talk in a cafe. Immediately jealous and anger would build up in him. However, he wouldn’t want to seem immature, so he would keep those poisonous feelings within himself. This would lead to him giving you the cold shoulder. It would hurt him, to him, honesty in a relationship is key, and this would make him second guess your feelings for him. Eventually the pain, confusion and questions swarming in his head would be too much for him, and would blurt out to you, “Why did you meet up with him?” But it could be two days later, and you would be lost as to what the question is about. He would be very touchy with you and clingy, his possessive side coming out slightly. He would need confirmation that you aren’t thinking of getting with other guys or going to leave him for your ex.

Originally posted by kpo-verdose


Bobby…

Usually Bobby is pretty chill with you being friends with other guys, he would even be okay if you told him you ran into your ex, but to see you smiling at your ex in the picture and it looking like you two are on a date, that set Bobby off and brought out his usually non-existent jealousy to the surface. He would ask you what the meaning of the picture is the moment he steps into your apartment. He would need to hear every detail about five minutes before you ran into your ex and five minutes after. Later, when you tame his jealousy and assure him there was nothing more than your ex holding the door open for you to enter the store and you being a civil person and thanking him, he would be the chill Bobby you fell for and he would hug you tight, his eye smile distinct on his features as he says, “Ah, don’t go around meeting guys, ‘cause then it makes me worried~!”

Originally posted by verygood-climax


Jinhwan…

He would take this very seriously, and would find a time for you and him to talk in privately. He would ask, without accusing you, why there is a picture of you and your ex. He would need assurance that it meant nothing, and would take the benefit of the doubt and trust you. However, if this were to happen again, he would be a little more suspicious about it and would need a better reason than ‘we just ran into one another’ this time. 

Originally posted by teambgasm


Yunhyeong…

He would be a little hurt about you not telling him that you didn’t run into your ex. Even if it was just a coincidental run-in. However, he wouldn’t voice that, and wouldn’t even bring it up, unless the other boys kept making up scenarios and scaring him to the point that you would leave him and only then he would bring it up to you. However, if they didn’t do that, he wouldn’t bring it up. Unless, like Jinhwan, there was another case that you ran into your ex and didn’t tell him, then he would ask, in fear that you were cheating or planning on leaving him.

(LIPS)

Originally posted by fyyunhyeong


Junhoe… 

He would be pissed about this. It would end up being brought up through a fight. He would storm into your apartment, his phone ready with the picture to show you. He would bring it up saying, “What do you think you’re doing going and meeting with other guys? Your ex no less!” This would be fueled from his fear of losing you or you cheating on him. He would need you to repeat what happened, only because he would be interrupting you with accusations. However, after you finally get it out and calm him down, he would sigh in defeat and lean into you, needing you to hold him. He would apologize while leaving kisses all over your face before sealing your lips with his with a whispered, “I love you my Jagi.”

Originally posted by yanghyunsuck


Donghyuk…

He would approach this situation in a serious manner, almost too seriously. When it came to you he didn’t mess around. Seeing another man with you set him off, but he didn’t want to come across as possessive or jealous, so he would swallow all his emotions and simply ask for an explanation. However, after he heard the reason you were with your ex was because you literally ran into each other, his whole demeanor changed. He would become so loving towards you and hold you close to him, internally thanking the world for not taking you away from him.

Originally posted by bi-ai


Chanwoo…

He would approach this in a childish manner, finding a way to talk to you in private, however the moment you are in his room alone, he would say, “Do you still love me?” He would explain how he saw the picture of you and your ex. You would need to calmly explain what happened and assure him that you still love him. After he would bashfully smile, blush powdered across his cheeks as he apologizes, giving you a strong hug.

Originally posted by chanwooyeah

[Trigger Warning!] Monsta X Reaction to Accidentally Seeing Her Scars

Requested By: Anon

A/N: I don’t know why I felt emotional while making this but I hope you liked it

List of Groups / Artists / K-Drama Characters I Write For: Here

Masterlist: Here

Contents of Blog / What I Write: Here

To Do List: Here


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Music (College!Yoongi)

Plot: College!Yoongi falling in love

Word Count: 1935

A/N: so this wasn’t actually requested but I wrote it a while ago after I heard Fifth Harmony’s cover of Red, the lyrics just really spoke to me like there was one line that I would just repeat over and over (Camila’s line to be particular idk if it was the way she sang it or just the actual lyric but it was just like straight to the heart) and then I wrote this and I tweaked it around a bit to better fit Yoongi and I thought I’d finally post it here so hopefully you guys enjoy it !!

Loving him was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly.

You knew the exact moment you fell in love with the green haired boy from your music class. You knew the exact moment he became your best friend, the one you could trust with everything. You knew you had been sitting under a tree on campus, your earphones in and a book in your lap when you saw the boy that always seemed to be alone sit under a different tree.

You had seen him around campus, headphones always placed either around his neck or over his ears. He never spoke to anyone unless he was spoken to and if it wasn’t about music, he didn’t speak at all. No one knew his real name, even the teacher called him Suga. He always had his laptop at hand, doing something unknown to everyone else on it whenever he wasn’t in class. He had never spared you a glance but you’d given plenty to him.

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anonymous asked:

"I'm staying and we're going to talk about this." With Michael maybe! Thanks babe I love ur writing :) xx

You roll onto your back as one thing leads to another. Michael crawls over you and reconnects his lips to yours, eager to do this with his girlfriend for the first time in a while. You’ve been cutting him off lately—not because he did anything wrong, but for the last couple of months your insecurities have suppressed any confidence you once held in the bedroom. They used to come in waves that you’d get over in a matter of days, but this time, for whatever reason, they were a bit more difficult to shake off.

“I’ve missed you,” Michael whispers against your ear, running his hand up your shirt and along your side. His fingers feel warm and welcomed.

You smile and start loving on his neck, happy to finally feel comfortable enough to take your intimacy with him to the next level again.

His shirt comes off, discarded to the floor. Your eyes take in his bare torso, relieved to be reunited with such a handsome view. Sitting up, you press heavy kisses along his collarbone and down his naked chest. It suddenly sinks in how much you’ve missed him, too.

“How long have we got?” Michael asks, referring to the return of your parents. They went out for a date of their own and didn’t approve of you having your boyfriend over without their supervision.

“Until eight.”

He glances at the clock on your bedside table.

“No time to waste, then.” He quickly starts working on the buttons holding your shirt together. Once undone, his thick hands caress either side of your waist as he leans back, taking a good look at the expanse of your body and obviously noticing something different about it. Your cheeks start to heat as you wait for him to say something.

Michael peers up at your face and realizes he’s done something wrong by offering no reaction. He squeezes your hips and smiles, moving the pace along.

“So beautiful,” he compliments, kissing you again.

It’s easy to lose yourself with Michael, following his motto to not waste any time. You’ve already spent too long closed off from him, and for a moment there it looked like the relationship you two worked so hard to build might come to an end because of your inability to communicate. He could tell that you were going through something but you refused to let him help, and after the way you treated him it wouldn’t have come as a surprise if he made the decision to leave.

But he didn’t. He gave you space and made it clear that he would be there when you wanted him to be, and he kept that promise when you finally found a solution to your problems.

Michael blindly digs through the drawer of your bedside table, knowing it’s where you hide your stash of condoms. You laugh at the rattling going on inside, wondering why its taking him so long to find one until you hear the sound of pills shaking in a plastic container.

You both look at the item held in Michael’s hand, two very different emotions fueling your thoughts. He brings it closer to read the label; you reach for it to stop that from happening but he jerks his arm away from you.

“Michael, don’t.”

“What the hell are these?”

“They’re just vitamins.”

He doesn’t believe you, and doesn’t look at you until he’s done reading the description. You can see his facial features slowly change as he receives new information and puts two-and-two together.

“Weight loss pills,” he mumbles sadly. “You’ve been taking these?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Are they safe?”

You sigh and nervously chew on the inside of your cheek. Your silence is all the answer that Michael needs.

“Why?” he exasperates, pushing himself off of your bed, bottle still in hand. “Why did you feel like you needed to resort to this? You were perfect they way you were.”

“No I wasn’t,” you argue, sitting up. You grab your shirt from the floor and start putting it back on.

“Y/n, look at me.”

“Can you just go?” you snap, covering yourself again.

“No,” he states. “I’m staying and we’re going to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You roll your eyes. “I wasn’t happy with my body and they were the only way to-”

“No, they weren’t,” he doesn’t let you finish your sentence. “If you want to lose weight there’s a healthy way to do it, you don’t just start taking pills like this.. are they even legal?”

You divert your gaze to the blanket over your bed, too embarrassed to make contact with Michael. He’s right, you know he is, but you wanted the fastest results. The pills worked so well for a friend of yours that you couldn’t ignore them despite the long list of health warnings and side effects the tablets came with.

Michael takes a deep breath and sits on the edge of the bed, facing you. He places the bottle on the wooden surface beside you and lets his hand fall on top of yours.

“Y/n,” he tries again, his voice much softer this time. His forehead gently rests on yours, and tears start to sting the back of your eyes.

“You’re fucking gorgeous. You always have been,” he whispers, stroking his thumb across your knuckles. He closes his eyes when he says, “It breaks my heart that you don’t see that.”

Your breath catches in your chest and the dam falls apart. Recently crying has practically become part of your nightly routine, but this is your first time doing it in front of Michael. His arms instinctively come around you and he pulls you into his chest, letting you purge your sadness into the crook of his neck while he quietly reminds you over and over how beautiful he thinks you are.

You question why you kept this from him—why you tortured him with emotional distance for so many months. He was trying to be a good boyfriend during your time of need and all you did was drive a wedge between you two. You almost lost one of the best things that’s ever happened to you, all because of an insecurity that he doesn’t even care about.

When your moment of catharsis comes to an end, you straighten up and wipe your eyes dry with Michael’s assistance. He tucks your hair behind your ears and somehow finds the motive to smile, triggering a similar reaction in you.

“You all right?” he asks softly.

“I feel better,” you admit.

He smiles a little wider. His fingers play with yours and he lightly tickles your palms in an attempt you cheer you up. The worst part is over. You’re not on your own anymore.

Michael bites his bottom lip and nods toward the bottle waiting on the table. He looks at you with hopeful green eyes.

“Flush ‘em?”

You swallow, thinking back to the day you bought them—how depressed and desperate you were for anything that could make a difference. You were in a state of mind influenced by the media, by the models who could confidently pose wearing practically nothing on billboard canvases, by the girls at your school who wouldn’t have to shop for their prom dresses in the plus-size section of the department stores, and by the lies you tricked yourself into believing about what everyone else must think of you.

You know you haven’t quite completed a 180 mindset—that you still have some internalized body-shaming to lay to rest. Thoughts as dark as yours don’t just change over night. But maybe, just maybe, with a few close looks in the mirror and the right support system, you can conquer this temptation to dislike what you see.

“Flush ‘em.”        

Masterlist

I finally finished reviewing all of @animentality’s books. Good. It only took me like five years, it’s fine.

Anyway, this is for Roman’s Numeral, which can be found here. The first book, Gallows Humor, can be found here.

Loved the series. One of my favorites of all time, that’s for sure. Gonna be supporting it and posting for it for quite some time–until I run out of fuel. or run out of ideas lol. Anyway, hope you enjoy the review.


Memoirs of the Mausoleum: Roman’s Numeral is the final book of this trilogy, and it is one that cements the true excellence of this series. With the final book of a trilogy, there could either be major disappointment or a feeling that a successful story has been made. The first two books were thoroughly impressive, and this one is no different. Roman’s Numeral cements the success of this trilogy with its brilliant writing, complex characters, and emotionally aggravating scenes.

The Memoirs of the Mausoleum series excels in character development. It takes a character and makes them a person. Even in the final book, there is still major revelations and growth for the characters that remain, which is something impressive, since characters with previous development remain static by the final book. There is still a lot of pasts to uncover, and personality to see, which is why it’s so engaging to see the same characters over and over again and see their development. They all continue to be complex and human. Despite learning new information, it never comes across as pointless or a way to drag the story. Most impressively, a minor character, in the span of two to three pages, is given as much emotion and development as a secondary character. I was surprised, upset (because the character made me emotional), and incredibly impressed.

In terms of its writing, the final book of the series was powerful from beginning to end. There was no moment while reading that I felt like a certain moment was being dragged for too long, or a certain area was dull and irrelevant. Everything that occurred was meant to tie up most of the story points that the series spent time developing. There was no subplot that I felt was dealt with haphazardly or wrongfully. Story-wise, everything had its purpose and its order, and so every chapter was a thrilling experience to read. Since it is the end, there is a want to know everything there is to know about all the characters you’ve read about, and all the concepts, like the Pulses. Roman’s Numeral exemplifies what should be done; give answers for the current story and characters, but leave some of the concepts a mystery for future works. While this series may have ended, it leaves you wanting to know more about the rest of the Memoirs of the Mausoleum universe and what other areas could possibly be explored. The author has created such a complex world that, by the end, you realize that you’ve only seen one small segment of it, and want to see more.

All of its scenes were extremely well-executed. This time around, there was no confusion when reading, something that is an improvement for this author, since their last two books held some confusing scenes. All types of scenes, whether fight scenes, flashbacks, tragic scenes, emotion-heavy scenes, etc., were all done with an equal amount of consideration and skill, leaving them all equally thrilling to enjoy. I was immersed the entire time, both with apprehension and genuine enjoyment from the writing and the way it was tailoring an exhilarating story.

Down to the core, this book is an emotional one. Its major strength is its ability to make you feel for characters and their situation. The strongest point of the Memoirs series is definitely its characters, but the second strength is in its manner of bringing out emotions within the reader. I was definitely going through a myriad of emotions while reading, which is what a book, especially the “final” book is supposed to do. When it gets a rise out of you, it does it to the fullest extent. That’s why I always had to take a break while reading each book—they always drain you. This one was no different. In fact, it does so to a fuller extent, since you finally learn the truth about most of the characters and thus, know, to the full extent, who they are. The most fulfilling, I would say, was of the main character’s: Ten. Whenever good things happen to him, you truly treasure those moments, you care about him and what’s going to happen to him by the end of the story. His past honestly made me cry. All of the characters’ pasts are gut and heart-wrenching, but Ten’s was constructed with so much unease and intensity—not to mention that it was built-up throughout the whole series—that I couldn’t help but cry.

I’ve only read a few books were its climax and ending brought me to shambles, and I was always left impressed with how it managed to do that. I always chalk it up to stellar writing and an understanding on how to make characters realistic and their reactions realistic. When you’re lamenting and screaming at the characters about what will happen to them, it clearly shows your investment—and wish for a happy ending. The climax and end of Roman’s Numeral left me a complete mess. All its emotions and storytelling seamlessly constructed a powerful and brutal ending to the series, one that I expected, acknowledged, and was yet unprepared for. Despite whatever opinions you may have on the ending, it is still one that leaves you in awe, and you leave the story satisfied because at the end, you were fulfilled as a reader. There were no plot holes, convoluted plot points, or a rushed, unsatisfying ending. Seeing the climax of Roman’s Numeral reminded me that the death of a character isn’t what is inherently sad, it’s the manner in which they die and what they might say that is more impactful. Roman’s Numeral created beautiful, yet tragic scenes that I was fully expecting, and yet struck me with so much emotion because of the manner in which it handled it. That’s where most of the impact resides with this series.  

While my reviews for the past two books have been long, this one is rather short compared to them. The other two reviews were filled with all of the topics I wanted to hit—and there were a lot, because there is a lot to discuss and mention with this series. Most of what I wanted to say is in those two reviews. These books have the same elements and the same consistency in terms of writing and storytelling. There are definite improvements, but it remains impressive throughout, which is why I don’t have that much to ramble about in for the final book. At this point I would sound like a broken record. There isn’t a specific element that you can find in Gallows Humor that you can’t find in Shock Values. All the books are treated the same in its development and construction, which is why I have rated them all five-stars. There wasn’t one of the three that was sorely disappointing or did not compare to the others. That, in and of itself, is why I love this series so much.

The final book of this series is the final staple and just what I needed to fully know that Memoirs of the Mausoleum is one of my favorite book series. It is incredible, from Gallows Humor to Roman’s Numeral. Every book is a bundle of amazing and phenomenal writing and story-telling. The plot is engaging and incredibly creative. Finding this series was like finding gold, like finding diamonds. I don’t regret buying this series and reading it in its entirety. It was such a fulfilling experience and one that left a memorable impact. Completely underappreciated, and completely worth the read. I’m recommending this series to as many people as I can, and I will be following K.L. Somniate for more of their spectacular novels.  

anonymous asked:

The bros reactions to dating someone who turns out to have like, 5 pet cats at home?

I loved writing this so much, thank you! ( ′ ˇ ⌄ ˇ ‵ )


Osomatsu:  “Ooh, kitty cats!” he exclaims upon entering the house, kneeling down to them in attempt to give the friendlier ones a few headrubs. “This feels just like home! Except we don’t usually have this many there. Seriously, how do you not trip over them.” He seems to be getting along with them just fine, having accustomed to random felines lazing around the Matsuno residence, and he never really wonders why you have five of them (he’s probably seen weirder things in his life to question such mundanities, to be honest). Though he usually just leaves them be while he’s hanging out with you, your cats grow fond of him surprisingly quickly, to the point that they even demand attention from him. You guess that is mainly thanks to his ability to turn even the simplest things into mind-blowingly intriguing cat toys - that is, if you’re a cat yourself. He will need a lot of band-aids to patch up all those scratches he always ends up getting, though.

Karamatsu: He has had his fair share with cats throughout his life, so he’s very cautious around them, but he secretly really wants to win their affection. He’s definitely the type that is not willing to move when one of them decides to sit in his lap, and you might even see him get emotional about it, because holy shit, an animal acknowledged his existence. Most of the time he just ends up being gently bullied by them, though, as your kittens love to pounce on him, pull on the strings on his hoodie, or just randomly attack his feet while he’s laying with you in bed. They never really hurt him, but his little screams and yelps of horror are absolutely something to look forward to each day.

Choromatsu: For some unknown reason, your cats absolutely adore Choromatsu, but he can’t say he feels the same way about them. He doesn’t hate them, alright, but why are they always around him, why do they always choose him to sleep on, why can’t he take a step without them gathering around his feet like it was feeding time. Does he just smell naturally of catnip, you will never know. It’s hilarious listening to him complain, though, while he’s meticulously trying to peel the little purring machines off off him, and, honestly, this only gets gradually more comical the longer you are dating, the angry rants turning into muffled sounds of agony and defeat, as he has no choice but to accept his fate as a kitten cushion.

Ichimatsu: That’s it, he found paradise. He does not require anything more in his life. You don’t think you’ve ever seen an expression like this on his face before, but you’re not complaining - you might have to drag him across the house and plop him onto a seat yourself, though, when the effects of him having accumulated too much positivity kick in and he turns into some sort of a weird saint. He frequently brings little presents for your cats, and spends almost as much time playing with them as he does cuddling with you, and you’re fairly certain he considers them your children already. It’s the most heartwarming sight seeing him just casually carry around one of them, while another is sitting on his head, and the rest are following him around meowing. It’s even better when it’s nap time and they’re all huddled up in the same place - scratch five cats, now you have six.

Jyushimatsu: His initial reaction when he sees your cats is to touch them one by one and greet them enthusiastically with a “You’re fluffy! And you’re fluffy! All of you are fluffy!” Don’t worry, he’s actually very gentle with them, and absolutely adores squishing their tiny paws and burying his face in their soft fur. Most of your cats let him, much to your surprise, but there are still a few who just… grab onto his face with their claws when he gets too close to their tummy. He finds it funny, though, so you guess it’s okay. Cuddle time for you two includes all the cats, too - it’s like a heavenly fluffy bed, and you always have a hard time getting up.

Todomatsu: He’s not too particular about cats, but he needs some time to get used to five of them just roaming around in your room, and he especially gets conscious about them when he’s trying to get intimate with you. It doesn’t help his situation the slightest that there is that one little bastard that seems to hate him for no reason. He behaves normally when you’re around, but Totty swears he’s always plotting something against him when you leave the two of them alone. “This is just how he shows affection.” you tell him, but that just further fuels Totty’s rage. “He farted on my face last time!” he makes sure to put extra emphasis on the word. “Who does that! I’ve never done that to him before, how rude!” You try keeping it to yourself, but it’s honestly hilarious watching their interactions, especially when your cat hisses at him and he makes his trademark face in response. Does he really think you don’t see that…?

so, hansung...

that last episode made me so incredibly hyped that i zoned out in three of my four classes yesterday just thinking about his character. boy am i glad i called dibs on that boy let me tell you. i should mention that everything that im about to say is under the assumption (once again) that hansung really is sixteen.

the main priority of this post isn’t just talking about his personality. i wanted to talk about hansung’s relationship with dansae, as it supports my previous post (which you can read here). to paraphrase, i basically stated that hansung, while loving them, feels his family is a burden to him for various reasons. that much was explicitly stated in episode 12.

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exR, star wars edition

Combeferre is known as the Resistance’s most brilliant strategist, but Enjolras has to wonder if the stress of the First Order’s advances and the disappearance of Poe Dameron has sent his friend’s famed reasoning over the edge.

The first glimpse of Combeferre’s plan in the flesh confirms his suspicion. Across the smoky, crowded cantina, a man sits alone, his chair tipped back on two legs, a half-drained bottle set on the table beside an empty bottle. His hair is a riot of loose dark curls, rough stubble on his cheek, shirt unbuttoned at the collar to show the line of his throat. He wears a blaster at each hip and another strapped to his ankle, enough exposed weaponry to suggest he shoots often and is often shot at.

“No,” says Enjolras, reading him from afar and disliking every line, “absolutely not. Have you gone mad, man?”

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The 9 Most Important Things to be Free of

I hit the jackpot of resolutions today while I was on my couch reading a wonderful little book titled “The Motivation Manifesto”.  At the end of the day, we’re all searching for personal freedom.  Here are 6 of them.  I wanted to share them with you with my comments, hoping this list acts as a road map for the new year or a reminder if you’ve already started the process of sawing the heavy shackles that have held you down for so long.  

- Living freely by crafting a life on our own terms.

I think so many live their lives on other people’s terms and it creates dark tunnels and dead ends.  I’ve been there.  Craving a life based on your own terms is the new American Dream.  Kick down the picket fence.  Toss the time card.  Forget the idea of standards or what you believe your life should look like because parents, friends, society, or an older more afraid version of you drew a blueprint that “made sense” a long time ago.  Passion, drive, and truth is what creates magic and there is no room for it if you are not living life on your own terms.  What if you were to burn those prints and redesign your life?  What would that look like?  How would that change you?

- Being free in the moment from oppressions, of past hurts and present anxieties. 

This is a big one.  I don’t know if it’s possible to be completely free of this. But I don’t think that’s the way to approach it.  I think it’s about acquiring tools to manage oppressions, past hurts, and present anxieties. Processing, awareness, release / calm, breathing and balance.  You need someone to process.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be a therapist or life coach.  It can be a friend or your partner.  Just make sure they have some capacity and emotional intelligence.  Release and balance can be done through various activities.  Not just yoga and meditation.  Weightlifting and motorcycle rides can bring them.  The key is to be aware and thread daily rituals into your life to feel, let go, and express yourself, through words, art, fitness, whatever works for you.      

- Being lighthearted and spontaneous as free spirits.

I used to take life very seriously.  That’s why my furrows are so deep and ingrained.  I call them Marky Marks.  Today, I take life more seriously.  Because I feel like I’ve found my purpose, something I never felt like I had before.  But I’m much more light hearted and free than before.  The difference between then and now isn’t how serious I am.  It’s making a conscious choice to let go of things I don’t have control over.  Like other people’s opinions.  Reactions to me.  Random turn of events.  The ability to know what to put weight on and when to let go and allow God, the universe, destiny take the wheel and just ride shotgun.  To observe and learn instead of trying to smash things where they don’t fit.  This creates distance and allows me to pull from my heart instead of my ego.  It allows me to trust my story and be less afraid.  Your spirit must be free for you to have a voice.  Without a voice, you will never be free.  

- Courageously speaking out thoughts, feelings, and ambitions with those around us, without concern about acceptance.

We all want to be accepted.  We all want approval.  But the question is at what cost?  Your potency will always live in your truth.  If you do not create a space to express it, you are not only losing your voice, you are losing your potential.  And we will be losing your gifts.  Where in your life do you allow yourself to be muted?

- Enjoying our free will to pursue abundant happiness, wealth, health, achievement, and contributions.

It’s okay to want things.  Many feel they don’t deserve the things what they want.  Or they feel guilty after getting them.  It’s okay to pursue in abundance.  This is America.  Your world will be brighter and you will be left with more fuel, assuming you know that the nectar is found in the chase, not the gold.  So go after whatever you want, run toward it with out limits.  And when you get there, celebrate your accomplishments.  Free yourself from the limitations you put on what you feel you deserve.  You deserve the world.  Go after it.

- Freely loving who we choose to with passionate abandon.

To me, this means to love without being afraid.  Love without thinking about the future or what the relationship is going to look like.  Love without a plan.  Love in the moment.  Without fear.  Without residue.  This is one of our greatest freedoms, yet one of the most difficult things to do.  We don’t allow ourselves to be free with love.  We hold, trap, define, judge, control, and become our own prisoners.  To tell yourself you are willing to be abandoned and yet choose to love as hard and honest as you can, is complete freedom.

- Angry

idk man, i don’t even like zombie apocalypse stories anymore, i’m so burned-out on them, but.

.

.

can’t rain all the time

“You want to stay away from me,” she tells him, and it’s meant to be dismissive, but her voice catches in her throat and so it’s barely more than a whisper.

It still hasn’t sunken in; she doubts it will.

“I’m fairly certain I just saved your life,” he replies airily, joining her in her determined, albeit directionless, stomping with a cheeky smile.

“It doesn’t matter,” she mutters, and glances down to the hastily-tied bandage on her arm; she killed it – swift downswing with the machete severing the head – but it was too late.

Of course it was, she thinks. This is how her life works, one bad turn after another; as if the endless string of foster homes, the boyfriend who turned out to be a con artist, the jail sentence, the baby she had to give up for adoption, the decade of loneliness, and the friggin’ dead rising from the grave wasn’t enough, now she’s been bitten. Because of course she has.

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Who The Hell Is Donald Ressler Pt.II-When Boy Meets Girl...

“I know that sounds odd coming from a man who has brought you some of the worst, but it’s the reason why Tom had to work so hard to be that for you… To be kind, to be thoughtful, make you laugh, to make you love him. Because you deserve that. And it will come.”

This portion of any character analysis always seems to be the favorite amongst fans. The Boy meets Girl formula of a character-driven romance. For The Blacklist, the long-term seeds of love for Donald Ressler and Elizabeth Keen were planted since day one to blossom at full capacity to right about end of season 2, into season three then hits into overdrive in season four. But But…what happened to waiting five seasons for a romance to blossom and just GIVE EYES? Too soon of a slow burn kills it, right?

Originally posted by always-keenler

NO. It depends on how it is written, the powerful chemistry of the actors, and the dedication from the writing team. This is not the 80′s or 90′s anymore. In television, gone are the days where networks committed to longterm, EXPENSIVE production costs with a blind eye. BUDGET IS EVERYTHING. The competition is fierce. 

Originally posted by nataliedormier

Look at the other networks grabbing that crucial 17-34 and 18-49 treasured demographics? Viewers are caught up in the “Marvel-lous” superhero comics coming to life along with their prospected love interests. Such as Arrow, The Flash, Agents of Shield, and Supergirl. It is not a coincidence that the Blacklist has jumped into the comic series featuring Ressler/Red/Liz as their main arc. Nicole Phillips pens them so well, the comic as itself, solidifies a writer’s future,  legacy of the show, and in the end can be adapted into film or a reboot 20 years from now.

However, An impatient audience does have it’s pros and cons. On one hand, they long for even a smidgen of hope, or a carefree scene like above a true love scene from the writers that reveals their couple is the one true pairing that they can root for and not just imagine. Trust me, the writers know this. Once you’re officially on the hook, they will continue to drive you insane. Why?

Because you gave them the power when you fell in love with their characters. 

Happens all the time. Writers do not mean to be cruel, we love it when our fans invest in our alter egos. It motivates us to take the characters to the level you want, not yank the rug. Love is messy and conflicted and part of a pairing’s journey, is the slow and bumpy ride that instinctively gets them to hold on tight for the uphill and downhill slide. So, let’s examine how the creator came up with such an amazing love story for Ressler and Liz. I start with the Head writer’s own words after season one. To me, the only way to ever understand character development and longterm bible of the series is by their insight alone. If you choose to negate what they say, you’re truly going to be disappointed. Bokenkamp on Ressler and Liz after the first season finale. And let’s focus on the word: ORGANIC.

“In the pilot, Ressler has zero respect or need or interest in Elizabeth Keen. And I think over the season we’ve seen Ressler lose Audrey, he’s gone through the wringer and Liz has now gone through a similar sort of struggle with Tom. And they both lost somebody in their life. So if nothing more than to just sort of understand or connect on that level. I think is the first time, in a strange way, they really have something in common, other than Reddington. Where that goes, who knows? I mean… But the idea that they could connect feels organic. It feels natural to me.“ — Jon Bokenkamp - Beyond the Blacklist

When the head writer goes on and on waxing poetic over his true pairing compared to the plot driven one that is being played out on screen, you know what’s up and where the long term aspect of these two characters are going. 

“Who the hell is Elizabeth Keen?”

Well for Ressler it was fireworks at first sight.

From The Freelancer:

Originally posted by lizresslers

Ressler: You let him go.

Liz: I let him go?! Who notified rcmp?! You compromised an asset.

Ressler: He’s number 4 on the most wanted list, Keen. What did you expect?! And now he’s gone because of you!

Ah, yes. When the potential married couple acts like a married couple in front of everybody, including, Raymond Reddington. Notice this dialogue is all character  and not plot? That’s the point. Natural chemistry flows like fine cabernet under dense candlelight and slow fizz jazz at the Vanguard. When a writer sees it play out, its magical especially to Sinnerman.

Originally posted by redalertworld

Reddington: Hey, there, guys.

Ressler: You planned this! You knew he would never show! 

Reddington: Take a breath, agent Ressler. You think I’m gonna fly all the way to Montreal for the cheese cart?-Hey Donald, how about that cheese cart?

[Sorry but I laughed my ass off at that scene. Hook, line and sinker.]

From Gina Zanetakos:

Ressler: Give us a minute. This is evidence. Listen, Keen, whatever you think this may mean, I admire what you’re doing, standing up for your husband, but I think we both know it’s time for you to protect yourself.

[But did she? NO. And here we are in season three. Red has confirmed Gina was involved in Tom’s heist, yet Liz has no physical reaction. Odd, don’t you think?]

Originally posted by fandomfatale

Liz: What the hell did you do? -

Ressler: Excuse me? -

Cooper: Calm down.

Liz: Don’t tell me to calm down! -

Cooper: Agent Keen

Liz: That woman was the link! She was the only proof that my husband is innocent! And now she’s what? Dying? Lying unconscious in some hospital? 

[So much for gratitude when a man saves your life. This is proof of Liz’ losing her brain cells whenever she defends her duplicitous and conniving husband. Logic evaporates.]

Originally posted by enalgunlugar

Ressler: She’s in surgery.

Liz: Have we forgotten that there’s a bomb out there?

Ressler: I haven’t forgotten anything. I’ve been here for seven years. You’ve been here for seven weeks.

[And still learning while having spats with the future hubby.]

From Wujing:

Ressler: [Still suspicious due to the Victor Fokin file but cannot help himself to be…nice.] Look, I just wanted to say, uh maybe I’ve had some doubts about you. Maybe I haven’t done the best job of keeping them to myself, but what you did today was good work.

Liz: Thanks.

Ressler: If you didn’t get that message out when you did, Henry Cho wouldn’t be alive. Whatever else went down in there, you should feel good about that.

Welcome to conflict. She’s pretty, smart, lands on her feet…but Reddington? Why? Warning bells go off for the skeptical secret agent man because he’s been on that task force for seven years, her seven weeks. He’s just  got to be right about her otherwise…his feelings are tangled up into something else. For an orderly man like Donald Ressler, it sends his entire world into chaos. In The Stewmaker, we saw how those feelings came to the surface and what he’d do in order to protect her. Once Reddington said those words:

Reddington: Agent Keen needs medical attention.

Ressler: Get a medic in here now! It’s all over now. It’s over now. It’s okay. Everything’s okay.

Donald stayed focused on only one person. Not the Stewmaker, not the case, nothing. He sees Liz in such a fragile stage that for the first time, his job becomes second, and I will prove this once we get into season 2. Think you will see this tenderhearted moment again? Absolutely. This season but with emotions coming full circle.

Originally posted by dammitdiego

Ah yes, which brings us to The Courier.

This episode to where we are today in season three demonstrates just how much Ressler respects and cares for Liz.

Ressler: I’ve been ordered to include you in the oversight committee brief on Reddington next week.

Liz: Cooper told me. Here’s the profile I prepared on him.

Ressler: Have I told you yet I don’t place much stock in profiling? And by “much,” I mean “none. It’s never once helped me solve a case. You know what has? - Hm? - Facts.

[Let’s examine his cocky comment because it proves something. Ressler evolves from this mindset in season 2 where he learns to profile then finds deep respect for LIz’ skills in season 3 Lady Ambrosia.]

Originally posted by lizresslers

Liz: Yeah. I also prepared a profile on you. "Uptight, fueled by an inner rage, "capable of the occasional moment of tenderness, "which likely brings on the desire to stay up all night watching Asian porn.

[You gotta love it, sexual tension in episode four and the challenge is on.]

Ressler: Not even close.

Liz: “Huh. How about this? You don’t trust me. You think I’m tainted somehow Maybe a traitor.You resent the fact that Reddington wants to work directly with me instead of you.

[Now take this dialogue and transfer it to season three. Liz a Russian spy, a terrorist, a traitor…Reddington’s words to Ressler. Think that is a coincidence or full circle dialogue taking these two characters back to square one to the moment of the Kingmaker where Liz shows up at his doorstep, that leads to a similar scenario in season 2 after her birthday. That is called Reverse Engineering. The writers tackled this in the fall with Ressler’s character, and will continue with it in the back half of the season. Winter Season pretty much builds tension in order to get to the climax of the story.]

Originally posted by owenselliot

Ressler: So, that’s what this is about? You knowing that I’ll find her and giving me a blacklister in exchange for when I do.

Red: No. It’s not a trade or a bribe or an offer of payment in kind to entice you to look away. I admire your probity too much for that.

Ressler: So, what do you want? ‘Cause you only give to get.

Red: All I want is your word as a man of honor.

Ressler: My word.

[Which is the equivalent to a golden lottery ticket entering Wonka’s Chocolate Factory Notice how Diego is now playing the scene. He isn’t uptight like in season one, nor is he flying off the handle. He is painfully restrained for reasons the audience has yet to know.]

Red: You know Elizabeth. You know she’s not a Russian spy or a traitor or a terrorist. You know that’s not who she is.

Ressler: Doesn’t matter what I know.

[It does because in the current story, Liz believes this is how he views her thus causing her to run away from who she is. Ressler’s opinion has always mattered to Liz because he represents the truth and the reality-not the fantasy.]

Originally posted by iwantthepony

Red: If you catch her, it will. It will matter a great deal.What you know about her, what you feel about her could make all the difference.

[Bokenkamp and Eisendrath completed the blueprint to launch Ressler and Liz beyond the moon eyes. Whenever dialogue is placed like this in the beginning of an arc, then confirmed by the interloper in the story, its a done deal, and these words are the spoiler throughout the entire season going all the way back to that profile exchange in The Courier. Full circle storytelling to get to the next level. That dialogue pertains to the back half of the season. Liz is still running away and it will be up to Donald to stop her before she leaves with Tom. That is a classic angst scene between two people who share more than just “a partnership” and the closer he gets to her, the more she resists. Liz has never found her true home because she is so afraid of being abandoned. She is not sure how he feels which is why Red said those words to Donald. The writers use Reddington as the matchmaker between the two. ]

Originally posted by buenomdz

Tom: I know you care. About Liz you can pretend that you don’t but I know that you do.

[Ressler NEVER denies it because it will be revealed in the back half. Once the ex reveals to the audience the true feelings of the lead hero, it is pretty much in the mindset of the heroine. It is not unrequited by any any means.]

AGAIN CHARACTER GROWTH

Speaking of “profiling skills” Something Ressler once stuck his nose at, now finds it incredibly resourceful in solving cases and discovering facts for the greater good.

Season 2 The Deer Hunter:

Ressler: But the more I look at it, the more I think we’re wrong, that there really is a copycat. I just can’t prove it. What is it?

Liz: What? Nothing.

Ressler: Come on, Keen. What is it? I know you better than that. Where’s your head?

Liz: That cop, the one investigating the harbormaster? He’s got evidence. He found the body. And the witness.

Ressler: Did he talk?

Liz: I think he did, yes.

Ressler: It’s your word against his.

Liz: I’ve hidden behind the task force for as long as I can, told him I couldn’t talk because it was classified, but he’s taking the case to a federal judge.

Ressler: Tom is the one who killed this guy.

Liz: But I was there. I should have –

Ressler: What, stopped him? Liz, you tried.

Liz: They’ll have enough to arrest me.

Ressler: Then go to Cooper, ask him to talk to the AUSA. The last thing he wants is some cop poking around asking questions about what we do. Liz, listen to me. Tom may have killed this guy, but “FBI Agent Goes To Prison” is the headline. All they’re gonna care about is taking a bite out of y– That’s it!

Liz: What?

Ressler: Kruse was right about the copycat. I can prove it.

Ressler: Aram? The bite marks.

Aram: Right. Uh, turns out, the, uh, distance measurements on the upper arch are 2.8% wider in the first six victims than in the second six.

Liz: Two different bites at the proverbial apple. Nice work, Ressler. So, it’s official– We’re looking for a copycat.

Ressler: After complaints were made by a female student. Aggravated harassment. Nonstop phone calls, stalking her in class. The girl was terrified, but no criminal charges were filed. That’s why it wasn’t on our radar. Stalkers, obsessive types, men who get violent when the women they want reject them.That’s what Mary Henning was hiding – she was afraid of her husband. Whoever killed him might have been protecting her. If we’re right, these seven men had dangerous fixations on seven women. The copycat killer was protecting those women.

Liz: Yeah, but those women were in five different states. How did the killer even know they were in danger?

Ressler: Hang on a sec. Diane Cosgrove got legal help with her divorce from a local nonprofit called Docket One. Uh, the student advocacy group that went after Judd Liggett – was called – Bright Voice.

Liz: Bright – Bright Voice.

Ressler: They’re both affiliates of a national organization called Whitehaven Shelters.

So let’s dig into this exchange. It is the middle of season two, Liz had that god awful Harbormaster storyline. She confides into Ressler in the Decembrist.Here in The Deer Hunter she is contemplating turning herself in. is Ressler forcing her? 

NO.

Ressler: You okay?

Liz: Yeah. Fine. Back there, uh I can’t do this.

Ressler: Maybe you need some time, a couple weeks. When’s the last time you took a vacation?

Liz: You’re kidding, right? I would have killed her if you hadn’t shown up.

Ressler: You would have done what you had to do to survive.

Liz: Same as on the boat.

Ressler: No, that was different. That was Tom. You tried to stop him. 

Liz: But I didn’t. I hesitated. And maybe I thought for just one second it would be better for me if he were dead.

Ressler: Liz –

Liz: No. That man had a family. He had a life. I’m gonna go to Wilcox. I’m gonna tell him everything.

Ressler: How many people do you think are alive today that wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for the work that we do?

[Back to the Greater Good, and saving Liz.]

Liz: [ Sighs ] Please.

Ressler: 50? 100? How many, Liz? How many families haven’t buried a mother, a father, brother, sister? Children?

Liz: That doesn’t make it right.

Ressler: No. It’s never gonna be right. See, the only question is the body count. So, you go ahead and you nail yourself to a cross, and while you’re up there feeling sanctified, you consider how many people are gonna die because this task force gets shut down and the rest of those animals on Reddington’s list are still out there feeding.

Liz: Ressler!

Originally posted by resslerneedsahug

Ressler: No. Don’t. Don’t ask me to feel your pain, Liz. I got more than enough of my own.

[Ressler’s point of contention is the greater number. A Utilitarian society of justice. One body vs thousands. It doesn’t make it right what she did, and in truth, this portion of the story should’ve been her wake up call. But it wasn’t. Ressler can justify the gray as long as its for the greater good Kant’s rule. Here he does just that. He sees the good being done with the task force and that is quite a reversal from his suspicious nature in season one. But because of his feelings for Liz, no matter how ridiculous her reasonings would get, still defended her.  Until Tom Connolly. This is what Liz fears she’s broken.]

Here in The Decembrist, Ressler goes to great lengths in order to prevent Liz from losing her badge. Keep in mind here how Bokenkamp wrote this scene. Clearly you can identify who is the interloper and it is not Ressler. The trigger for him, is Liz is still hung up on her ex, yet Ressler’s involvement with her begins to enter the gray.

Ressler: Liz, why would you do this? I mean, you’re risking everything. 

Liz: To find Berlin. 

Ressler: You’re a federal agent harboring a fugitive. I mean, worse than that… You’re keeping him captive. 

Liz: 500 cops are out there looking for Fitch right now, and we’re gonna find him because of this.

Ressler:  Whether he leads us to Fitch or not, I got to take him in. Are you hearing me? You had to know when you told me that this is where it was gonna go. I… Liz, I can’t be part of this. 

Liz: He’s an informant, like Reddington. 

Originally posted by novecientosonce

Ressler: The difference is you’re not in love with Reddington. 

[Ressler will not be a number two guy waiting in the wings. He just won’t it is not his alpha persona. This is why he has no trouble stomping out Liz martyrdom, or passive aggressive nature with cold hard reality. She admires it yet fears it because manipulating him, is not an option.]

Tom: I got an address. 

Liz: Where? 

Ressler: Where? What difference does it make where? What? You’re gonna follow his lead to someplace he says Berlin is hiding? No. There could be 50 guys waiting. 

Tom: That’s stupid. 

Ressler: Hey, shut up. I wasn’t asking you. 

Tom: You want Berlin or not? 

Ressler: There’s no way I’m gonna let you go in there. This is a setup, an ambush. 

Tom: What are you, her boyfriend? 

[Quite possibly, yes.]

Liz: Hey! [Gun cocks] What address? 3952 Spalding street, apartment 24. 

Ressler: Hey, pal. I’m coming for you. 

Ressler: Good luck with that.

[Tom hoever, Liz can manipulate because he has unresolved guilt for the things he’s done to her in their marriage and after. Liz cannot play that card with Ressler. This is why she has “incredible respect” for him. He doesn’t have an angle he’s trying to play, he’s just straight forward. That is a different type of man she’s been involved with therefore, breaking trust with such a man who has trust issues, will piss him off and rightfully it should.]

 Ressler: Well played, Keen. I mean, look at it. Berlin’s gone. Tom’s free. 

Liz: He brought us Fitch. 

Ressler: Berlin handed us Fitch on a silver platter after he had a bomb strapped to his neck. [Let’s go here. He knows Liz manipulated the situation. Second, his follow up here, he said quite a bit in the car..[Sighs] Look, I’ve been thinking about what I said in the car, and… 

Liz: Don’t worry about it, Ressler. I’ll tell Cooper. 

Wright: I understand you’re responsible for finding Fitch. About the source… 

Liz: Yes. 

Wright: Does he have information about Berlin? 

Liz: Yes, we believe he does. 

Wright: I don’t care if your source is confidential or what promises you’ve made him. I want him here, I want him interrogated, and I want his name. 

Ressler: You must be kidding. 

Wright: Do I sound like I’m kidding? 

Ressler: It’s Reddington. Her source is Reddington.

[He didn’t protect her for the sake of the task force, he did that because he doesn’t want her to lose her badge. Therefore, who gave Liz the passports in evidence for Tom Keen in Vanessa Cruz? If you think about it logically, it isn’t difficult, and if you’re involved with such character, using them for something else, is NOT an intelligent idea. Especially if the man is willing to put his own career and reputation on the line. Some spout that Ressler is a sexiest chauvinist against women. I do not see that.]

NO. 

The Deer Hunter storyline was about abused women seeking out a copycat killer [Amanda Plumber] to eliminate their abusive spouses. The ones that hit beat, verbally abuse their wives and girlfriends. If you would like for me to post Bokenkamp’s quote calling Tom Keen a “prick” for hitting his own wife, I’ll get it for you.  Ressler isn’t anything like that. He respects women, and their authority along with the boundaries in between. His once belief that profiling never helped him solve a case…Liz teaches him to see a different way of investigating-that is respect. He begins to slide into the gray with Liz while trying to save her from Tom Keen’s twisted view of “saving someone” which many would call, psychotic. Ressler’s desire to be Liz’ hero overall  is simply put, “FBI AGENT GOES TO PRISON” and in season three, he wanted to avoid that by bringing her in because deep down his feelings are all over the place.

Cooper: Ressler, take Keen to that hospital. I want a psych eval on the kid. 

Agent Ressler? Hi. Judy Sickler, Child Services. 

Ressler: This is Elizabeth Keen. She’s a clinical psychologist. She’ll be assessing the child.

[This little gem of dialogue. Think its a coincidence? Liz with a title as a clinical psychologist, now that she is no longer an agent or his partner. Ressler makes it a point in season 2 to give her professional status as his shrink. The level of respect he has for her compared to his suspicions in Season 1 demonstrates his feelings have shifted and not just in the dialogue, but in the eyes. They are more soulful, longing, heartbreaking. It is clear from this scene compared to the identical Ivan in season one, their relationship has crossed over. Natural progression of a slow burn. Now its about to smolder.]

Originally posted by thearsnova

[Season 3 The jail scenes in the Director Conclusion. Can we talk about about Terlesky’s brilliance please? There were too many long intense, intimate camera angles depicting that these two were more than just colleagues. More than just partners. More than just eye f$cking.  Ressler didn’t yell nor berate her. He wasn’t cold or unfeeling. He missed her, and it is clear from their exchange with the soft whispers and up close facial contact they share more than just an office. Ressler’s offering to give her his jacket to sleep on was an olive branch to build back trust for arresting her. Liz handing it to him slowly, demonstrates she does. He was the one she needed and wanted to believe in her the most, that is why she whispered thank you to Red while looking at Ressler. That’s what we call angst and it is leading to something big in the back half. Don’t look at these scenes where in threes, you have Liz waking up, rolling over to find Ressler’s head in the shot as if he were lying next to her not to mean something. That is deliberate to foreshadow intimacy.]

Liz: They were gonna kill me.The Director wasn’t taking me to any black site for questioning about actionable Intel.If you hadn’t shown up when you did, I’d be dead.

Ressler: I’m sorry, Keen. I expected the Director to try something, but I also expected Reven Wright to be there to intervene.

Liz: What happened? 

Ressler: I think Laurel Hitchin killed her or had her killed.

Liz: My God.They’re in the White House.

Ressler: Hey, look, Reven may be gone, but the safeguards we put in place for your arrest are still intact.She arranged for your case to be heard by a judge she trusted completely.

Liz: As much as she trusted Laurel Hitchin? 

Ressler: Pending trial, you’ll be housed under military guard at Fort Meade.We can keep you safe there, Liz.I wouldn’t have brought you in if I didn’t believe that.

Liz: I need a pen and paper.

Guard: Against protocol, ma'am.

Liz: I don’t have a will.

Ressler: Give her the damn pen and paper. [Ressler breaking protocols again] Who do you want me to give this to? Uh Tell you what. I’ll hold on to it. Give it back to you when this is all over, okay? 

[Gentle nuance, tender nurturing scenes to reassure her that Liz will survive this because he isn’t going anywhere. Keenler doesn’t have to play in every scene because one episode like this dissolves the bubbles. That is plot point for the back half and character driven storytelling. The bond is that strong, and why Liz is avoiding him-for now.]

Originally posted by pl3as3-tak3-m3-t0-w0nd3rland

THAT IS CHARACTER GROWTH

Ressler: Your arraignment’s tomorrow morning.We got authorization to keep you here overnight. [Sees the fear in her eyes] Hey, don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. [Grabs a chair and sits next her.] Cooper reached out to Allison Gaines.

Liz: The criminal defense attorney? 

Ressler: One of the best in the country.She’ll be here in the morning.One more thing Yeah, it’s me.- 

Reddington: Are you all right? - 

Liz: I’m here.

Reddington: Lizzy, you will make it through this. Everything happens tomorrow. Agent Ressler won’t let you out of his sight.

[Once again the writers establishing the bond between Ressler/Red/Liz. It hasn’t changed in 3 years. That is how you know its for the longterm. Without that trio connected, there’s no show, no movement and no character growth for all. The baby provides that opportunity.]

Originally posted by teaandcookies1000

Liz: [gives eyes to Ressler] Thank you.  [rolls over and see him in her headshot. Huge huge I cannot say this enough.] You look tired.

Ressler: There’ll be plenty of time to sleep when this is over– - for both of us.

[That line is HUGE HUGE….if he meant himself and her separately the writers would’ve wrote the line different. It is foreshadowing, not a tease.]

Liz: When’s the lawyer coming? 

Ressler: [She slips him back his jacket gently through the barrs. Huge display of kindness, in spite of everything that has surpassed. Which tells you, you’ll see it again. ]

Ressler: Courthouse opens in half an hour.

Liz: [And we got moon eyes, that are ready to cry, ready to touch his face through the bars. Angst for a pairing.] Thank you. 

Grief and Anger and how it builds or reduces character. In Lord Baltimore Season 2. Ressler struggles with addiction. I’ll analyze that in another post, but for now, we deal with his mindset and how much he trusts Liz at this point in story.

 Liz: I mean, I just feel like… I don’t know… someone is watching me.

Originally posted by owenselliot

[YES All season LONG and Bokenkamp made it a point to reiterate this after the baby reveal. The show made it a point to bring this up today, “there’s always someone watching.” YES. So its a safe bet that someone else knows about Liz and Ressler’s encounter. Take a guess.]

Ressler:  Is that why you’re living out of your trunk? Those motels? The aliases? You got to stop doing that, Keen. Tom’s dead. 

Liz: You talk to Dr. Friedman yet? 

Ressler: Don’t change the subject. The visits are mandatory. Look, the Bureau isn’t interested in our mental health. They’ve assigned a shrink to talk to us to cover their asses in case one of us wigs out, but that ain’t gonna be me. 

Liz: You’re too healthy to talk to a shrink? 

Ressler: I talk to you all the time. Aren’t you board certified? 

Liz: Yeah. And in my professional opinion, I think you need to talk to Dr. Friedman.

Originally posted by pl3as3-tak3-m3-t0-w0nd3rland

Dr. Friedman: Agent Ressler. 

Ressler: [Sighs] Sorry, Dr. Friedman, but we’re in the middle of an investigation. 

Dr. Friedman: You do know I could suspend you pending assessment. [Sternly] Agent Ressler. I will recommend you for suspension. 

Ressler: Look, I don’t mean to be a prick here, but I’m not sure what you think you’re gonna fix. 

Dr. Friedman: Yeah, I’m not sure either… Until we talk. 

Ressler: About what? Those agents who died today? About the fact that we lost a woman that we were supposed to protect? How do I feel about that? I feel like crap. But I know the good we do here, why it matters. And am I worried that someday it’s not gonna be enough? Yeah. And when that day comes, you’ll be the first to know.

Love and Other Drugs

In Season one, Ressler had to deal with loss. In season two its pain, anger and addiction. For someone like Ressler to deal with a crutch it is humiliating. It goes against every ethical code that he holds. Therefore when Liz became his support system, she gave him the strength to get help and most of all, her feelings for him came to the surface. 

In Monarch Douglas Bank.

Signs of Ressler’s addiction reared its ugly head in Warsaw. 

Liz: I’m sorry. 

Ressler: For what? 

Liz: In the taxi in Warsaw. I came at you pretty hot. 

Ressler: Fog of battle. 

Liz: When Kaja was down, you talked her through the worst of it. We could have lost her. You did good. 

Ressler: You’re right. I was amazing.

[Flirtatious banter that got a reaction out of Liz.]

Originally posted by valdeznico

In Mako Tanida, Ressler faces great loss after the death of Audrey Bidwell. What he believed to be his one and true chance at happiness. The grief for Ressler is insurmountable to the point where he needs to focus on his job to function. For some viewers, they cannot understand how his mind works. To me, it is pretty clear:

He is not your emotional character like Aram. He doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve he keeps it hidden, and only shows those signs of tenderness to people he trusts. Therefore, work, helps him not to feel. He gets up goes takes care of the world, then shuts down. The pain pills were a way to deal with not feeling any emotion, any grief, any anguish.

Ressler: Stay, stay stay with me. Stay with me. Don’t go. Come on, Audrey. Come on, Audrey. You can’t sideline me.

[Now, for any head writer or creator of this scene which Bokenkamp was, you know this is going to repeat in the same fashion. Back then, he did not know Audrey was pregnant. Liz, he does. Stakes will be higher. It is necessary for Donald to get past this flashback in order to let go of the pain. Liz being faced with such a potential tragedy will crystalize that realism for him AGAIN. And not just Ressler, but for Reddington. There’s a reason why No one saw Ressler’s or Tom’s reactions to Liz pseudo death in Arioch Cain. It’s being held back because Liz will be seen in a life and death struggle. Do not underestimate the writers. Part of culminating the most n a drama is to squeeze every drop of it. Ressler reliving what happened to Audrey, losing his unborn child becomes the focal point moving into the back half. Liz’ safety. The danger. Is. Coming.]

Dancing on someone’s grave. Only the devil would do such a thing, right?

Originally posted by leveraged-buyout

Ressler: You really expect me to care about procedure? 

Cooper: Of course not. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I wouldn’t dare. But don’t compromise yourself. You’re a good agent A good man.

Ressler: I have to do something.

Cooper: You’ll grieve.

[The defining moment when dark characters beg for the good ones to stay in the light and not cross over. This will be another test for Donald in the back half.]

Reddington: Agent Ressler. Once you cross over, there are things in the darkness that can keep your heart from ever feeling the light again.

Ressler: All I feel is hate.

Reddington: Good. You’re gonna need it.

[Liz trying to save Ressler.]

Originally posted by zhivchik

Liz: Ressler where is he? I know he came to you. I know you told him about that hospital.

Reddington: Agent Ressler came to me for assistance, which I provided.

Liz: You sent him after Tanida.

Reddington: No. I provided a bit of direction in an otherwise blind pursuit.

Originally posted by asundayinaugust

Liz: He’s not like you. He can’t just murder someone in cold blood and come out of it okay on the other end.

Reddington: Nobody can murder someone in cold blood and come out okay on the other end.

[Case in point, Liz who murdered Connolly. Ressler’s anger in season 3 against Mr. Solomon will replay itself in episode 17. The question will remain, can he let it go, or will he be faced with the same set of circumstances. Liz here is the catalyst.]

Ressler: Couple months back, I was in this hospital. I’d been shot. Sitting in there for days, all alone. And Audrey just Pops into my head. Couldn’t have been more than an hour later, she walks in. It’s like the universe tilted and brought her to me, like it was fated to happen. But It wasn’t fate. You know why? Reddington. I can tell you this because you’re gonna die. I work with Reddington. Believe it or not, I was shot protecting him. That’s why I was in that hospital. It’s because of Reddington that Audrey came back into my life. He’s why I got three more months with her. And because of you she’s gone. My greatest enemy brought her back to me, and my best friend took her away!

[Powerful scenes, yet only Liz can talk him down off the ledge. Ressler goes home to find Reddington avenging Audrey’s death with Tanida’s head in a box in order for Ressler to stay in the light. It is a profound gesture of respect that Reddington carries for him.]

The teleplay here is pitch perfect.

Reddington: Donald, I want you to know that I do understand how you feel. There is nothing that can take the pain away. But eventually, you will find a way to live with it. There will be nightmares. And every day, when you wake up, it will be the first thing you think about. Until one day It will be the second thing.

Originally posted by detectivehalstead

[Ressler now deals with his pain of losing Liz. Unable to reach out to her, Ressler now compartmentalizes his emotions by kicking down doors, apprehending pedophiles, murderers, child killers, and saving autistic children. He cannot sit at home. He needs to work through his emotions. Liz, counseling him all in season two provided that. Their partnership was so unique they could share everything. He cannot do that with Samar. The writers are deliberately showing the contrast between the two.]

[Case in point, his reasoning for shooting Jonica and Tanida=Audrey. Now, Solomon, its about Liz. Now that he knows Liz is pregnant, its ALL about the baby, and Ressler’s feelings coming to the surface. This puts him squarely in Liz’ shoes when she shot Connolly. The writers here are demonstrating that Ressler can relate and accept Liz’ actions without judgment. Which is why once he escorts her down to the courthouse, its all about telling her what she’s always wanted to hear, “For what its worth I believe you were framed.” He always did, but now he feels the system damaged Liz, and that is something he himself cannot deal with because he holds himself responsible for her shooting Connolly.]

Solomon: Good morning.

Cooper: Agent Ressler, listen to me. Put the gun down.

Ressler: You should leave.

Cooper: Stop.

Ressler: Do you know the damage you’ve done? That your organization has done to this country, to my friends? 

Solomon: I don’t care about your friends, and I hate this country. Well, "Hate’s” a strong word. I like the part where I make bail and catch the next plane to France. 

Ressler: You’re not gonna live to see the inside of a courtroom.

Solomon: Sure, I am. And not just any courtroom, but a courtroom of my choosing, with the judge of my choosing. [Plot point. Laurel Hitchen gives the name of the judge in the conclusion. The one hired to put the Marshall away in a psyche ward.] God bless America.

Cooper: Agent Ressler. You’re not gonna do this.

Solomon: You deserve to die.

Cooper: Put down the gun.

Tom: I know he does, but not by your hand.

Ressler: Since when did you grow a conscience? 

Tom: I don’t know. Since I’ve been hanging out with you. I’m not happy about it either.

Ressler: Ah, he’s right. We bring him in, he walks. He doesn’t pay for any of this.

Tom: Your dad. You wanna know if he died for nothing. Whether he did or didn’t depends on whether you pull that trigger.

[And we will see in episode 17 if he does just that…or does someone else.]

Ressler: Matias Solomon, you’re under arrest for the attempted murder of a federal agent, for the attempted murder of a material witness in a federal investigation, treason, espionage Conspiracy to– You know what? Why don’t I get you a penal code? It would be easier to figure out what you haven’t done.

[In Season one, Cooper’s attack, and Audrey and Meera’s deaths, Ressler was on the verge of cracking, like any rational human being would. It is understandable he’d be pushed in such a way. You will see that again in the back half.]

Ressler: Funny thing, you know– I used to be a real Boy Scout, strictly by the book, followed all the rules. Then this thing happens. My fiancee, she gets killed-murdered right in front of me. The guy who did it– the only way I could get him was to forget all the rules. It was a real crossroads for me. Had to choose which path to take. The thing is, I think it’s real important for you to know– the path I took there wasn’t any rules. And the thing I realized was that sometimes, that’s okay. Like when some greasy Russian starts murdering my friends! I want a name. I want a name! I want a name.

Ressler is on pills while interrogating the Russian. Did anyone notice that? He’s self medicating in order to deal with all the loss in his life. To me, this scene only establishes that he is human. In season 2 the fallout. 

The Mombasa Cartel 

Liz: FBI. We were wondering if you wouldn’t mind assisting us in an investigation we’re conducting.

Man: What kind of investigation?

Ressler: The kind of investigation where, if you don’t help us out, I just yell, “gun!” And we beat your ass to the curb.

Man: I’m unarmed.

Ressler: You gonna cooperate? Please say no. What?

Liz: Nothing. You were late to work again. You seem a little edgy.

Ressler: I’m fine. Thanks, Mom

Liz: Uh, we need to talk. 

Ressler: I got things under control. 

Liz: Uh-huh. When’s the last time you used? 

Originally posted by owenselliot

Ressler: Sitka, almost a week. 

Liz: This happens all the time… agents taking meds to get over injuries and then they get hooked. It’s no big deal. 

Ressler: What are you gonna do, Keen? Tell Cooper I’m an addict? 

Liz: I want you to get help. 

Ressler: And I’m telling you, I can kick this on my own, and if I can’t, hell, I’ll walk into Cooper’s office myself. I got no problems with that.

[This difference between Samar and Liz. Samar would tell Cooper in a heartbeat. Liz, kept it in the vault, same as him. The eyes have it more than you know.]

 Eisendrath specifically told TV GUIDE for season two there wouldn’t be a romance between Ressler and Liz because they were building Ressler’s character. 

Is there any chance that Ressler and Liz will get together on The Blacklist? — Jon
The producers want to spend more time getting to know the man before they actually pair him up with Liz. Then again… “In doing that, [we’ll] put him in emotionally vulnerable places,” executive producer John Eisendrath says. “By putting him in those positions, it will give Liz an opportunity to reach out to him and support him in a way that will deepen their relationship.”

Originally posted by detectivehalstead

Liz: I thought for a second we might lose you back there. 

Ressler: Prospect of having to live without me… must’ve been terrifying. It was. The irony is… with all the drugs they pumped in me, this is the best I’ve felt all week. 

Liz: What about that? Is that gonna be a problem? 

Cooper: I just got a call from MPD Harbor Patrol. They fished a man’s body out of the Anacostia. Matches your description of The Scimitar. Get there. 

Liz: Yes, sir. Hmm? 

Ressler: I’ll catch up.

It is these vulnerable scenes that deepens their connection and gives way to the secret the two share in season 3. In the Scimitar, Liz feared Ressler was going to die in their car accident. Her fears were real even though the accident and hospital stay was a ruse. But it culminates Liz’ fears with Ressler’s addiction that it is enough to get him to wash his pills down the drain and get help.

Now let’s go back to The Kingmaker Season one.

Here, Ressler puts out the hint that he is interested in Liz, a long pause the two share due to sexual tension and he breaks it in order to get back to the case.

Liz: Sorry. Husbands lie to their wives. I have no problem believing this guy is capable of just about anything.

Ressler: Hey, Keen, you ready? Okay, so, what’s the deal? 

Liz: Chandler drove up from the south.

Ressler: No. No, not with the case. Something’s wrong, and it’s not just Reddington being at that hospital. You and Tom having problems? Look, you’re not the first one to deal with this. You know, people wake up and realize their husband or wife isn’t everything they hoped for.

[Right here his dialogue contradicts himself. One second he is telling her the marriage is over before she even says it is. That’s how you know, Ressler has been waiting for Liz to drop Tom and come to him freely.]

Liz: We had a fight. He left the house. I don’t even know where he went.

Ressler: He’ll be back. It’s not over. You know that. [Long pause] So, Chandler drove up from the south.

[Liz finally at her breaking point reaches out to Ressler in what Diego Klattenhoff calls a “magical scene” because it is deliberately open to interpretation that something may have occurred, or not. The running joke with this show is that just because you haven’t seen it play on camera, doesn’t mean its not canon. You will see shades of that in the back half of season 3.]

Liz: I didn’t know where else to go.

Originally posted by canarycassidy

In season One, Liz wanted to adopt. She had the perfect home, perfect husband, the perfect dog, and the longing to have a baby girl. With the reveal that Tom Keen working for Berlin, Liz’ perfect idea to rewrite her past went up in smoke. Ressler lost Audrey, then by some miracle thanks to Reddington, he had three more months with her until she was tragically killed carrying his baby. This is not a coincidence. The parallels were always there through the cases they worked on about family and children. Cases that Reddington brought forth much like he is doing now in season three. The Cyprus Agency, Gina Zanetakos, the Good Samaritan, Frederick Barnes, the Alchemist, and the pilot. Children have always played a huge part in developing these two characters. 

But what about Actor Diego Klattenhoff says regarding the potential romance? From a writer’s perspective, he’s got the pulse and the temperature exactly right. You don’t do it just to do it, you do it as a natural, organic progression to allude to mystery and intrigue. (I did say that before, didn’t I?)

Keep reading

Chapter 84

I know not a lot of people care about that on this blog, so I’ll tag it. This is an SNK post, probably the last one I’ll make for a while. I just want to get all my shit out, even if no one reads it. 

I don’t hate this chapter. I know, an eruri fan not hating that Erwin is dead? Sue me. I don’t hate how he died. I don’’t hate the kid’s reactions, I don’t hate Levi’s logic in this situation. I don’t hate any of it. I think its fine. 

I think the stress of the chapter coming from the characters rubbed off on the fandom because I don’t actually understand why we all exploded at this. 

There seems to be three sides, the people that hate the kids, the people that hate Levi and the people that just hate the entire fucking chapter. And before I start talking about it, I’m not saying anyone is wrong. You are completely allowed to have your own opinions on it. You can hate anyone you want, you can disown any character you want. You can leave the fandom, if the media that’s meant for your enjoyment isn’t causing you to enjoy it anymore, that’s fine. There is no shame in that. I’m not trying to start any arguments, this is just my breakdown of the chapter. No more, no less. 

Let’s start with the kids. My feelings on their little-what the fandom is calling tantrum-outburst are neutral. A lot of people are arguing that they should have just shut up and let Erwin had the serum. They shouldn’t have gotten upset, they shouldn’t have tried to kill Levi for the serum, they should have just sat there. Looking at those kids, that would have been entirely out of character. Eren is emotional. Eren takes everything personally, something that has been overly established through the entire manga. Mikasa was going to kill herself because she believed Eren friends was dead and the rest of them were going to die anyways. If that doesn’t tell you how much she cares, I don’t know what will. 

In fact, Mikasa has already been established as a character who will do anything for Eren. When she found out Eren was dead, she gave a speech about not giving up and proceeded to give up herself, leading many people to their doom. So, when Eren was in distress on the rooftop, begging Levi to save Armin, she goes to his defense. I’m sure there was the obvious amount of history and her own reasoning for wanting to save Armin as well, but Eren was pleading with Levi. Anything to keep Eren happy. 

As illogical and irrational that train of thought is in a situation as trying as this, do you really expect them not to have any feelings for their friend. Would you have rather they sat down and said, you’re right, Levi. Screw Armin, we don’t care about him, save Erwin. Maybe you’d argue that they could have screamed a little less, but they’re children on the battlefield with a friend who is dying who had the possibility to be saved. I don’t really see that being a logical answer. They were speaking through emotions, through their hearts and they’d shut their brains off. They wanted all three of them to survive, just as they had been doing up until that point. The idea of loosing Armin was unimaginable. 

They were speaking manipulatively, Mikasa wanting to kill Levi at one point if he didn’t give it up. They were ready to do anything to save their friend. They were speaking as though Armin was the right choice for humanity, but it was clear that the argument was fueled by personal feelings. They weren’t thinking clearly, their ideals of their friendship blinding them to the true situation at hand. 

Let’s move on to a character a lot of people immedietly turned to hate when the raws came out, Levi. I was not subject to the raws, I was told a synopsis by a friend who spoke Japanese before I even saw the panels. So I didn’t have the immediate reaction a lot of other people did in the whole ‘he gave Armin the serum and forsakes Erwin, fuck Levi.’

Levi was sitting on that rooftop with the full intention of giving it to Erwin. He would have without a second thought, if not for the kids. They started tearing away at him, trying to get him to give it to Armin. Levi knew the logical choice was Erwin, and even after the kids stop, he is still going to give it to him. 

I honestly don’t blame the kids at all for what happen. The person who truly changes his mind is the soldier. I can’t be bothered to remember his name, I’m just going to keep calling him the soldier. 

The soldier called Erwin a demon. He talked about how a demon was the only one who could lead missions like that, who could think about killing off men for the sake of the greater good. Even through all his hate, he knew that Erwin living was the logical choice. 

Here’s the problem. Levi knows more about Erwin than anyone. He’s seen what he’s been going through, seen his lower points, can likely guess his state of mind. Erwin is suicidal. Let’s not pretend that he’s fine, its so clearly his not. Erwin thinks of himself as a demon, Erwin leads suicide missions. When that soldier calls himself a demon, Levi remembers that Erwin thinks of himself as one. 

If Levi would have given Erwin the serum, that would have only given a new reason for Erwin to hate himself, a new reason for Erwin to want his life to be over. His dream of seeing a free world is being consumed by his self hatred and its clear. He’s been putting himself in obvious danger in the hopes of not coming back. His arm is gone and he has to keep working. Imagine going through a second life threatening experience and coming back as the thing you hate most. Erwin’s mental state would have likely shattered. 

Bringing Erwin back again would have killed any hope he had. Levi would be bringing back an entirely hardened monster with little to no hope for the future, He would have brought back someone who continues to put himself in harms way subconsciously, if not on purpose, just so that he might actually die that time. 

Putting someone like that in charge of an entire group of people hoping to rid themselves of the titans doesn’t exactly sound like the smart move. 

It would be like putting Mikasa in charge, when she was screaming about how they should all follow her because she is strong, when in reality she just wanted her life to end. 

Levi did Erwin a kindness. Levi chose both logically, and with his heart. He put his oldest friend to rest while keeping the rest of the Survey Corps in mind. And while I don’t think Armin will be a great leader, he has hope for the future. He has the will to live, he has people who will support him at every turn (clearly) and he will do his duty. 

I don’t think Armin will be a better leader than Erwin, but I think he will be a better leader than Erwin who had returned and become a titan. Everyone speaks about how Levi’s mental state would shatter without Erwin, but what about Erwin’s mental state? He acts as though nothing will get to him, but its so obvious it does? We all want to feel sorry for him, but we ignore what the effects of Levi’s actions might have been. 

So yes, I’m fine with what happened in this chapter. I think its fine that Erwin died, I think its fine that Levi made the choice he did, and I think its fine that the kids reacted in the manner they did. 

Hope you could find some alright points in there, if not I hope at the very least it was some food for thought. 

“Star Wars: The Force Awakens: The Novelization” AKA “This is the second book I’ve read this year with child grooming in it, and it’s only February”

So. I finished the novelization of Star Wars: The Force Awakens a few days ago. I bought this book specifically because I was hearing… things about the specifics of Ben’s fall to the Dark Side, how he came to be with the First Order, and exactly what Snoke had to do with it. Those things led me to change my point of view about Ben from being mildly irritated with him to being thoroughly horrified on his behalf, and when I read the book, it, well, it lived up to my expectations.

Keep reading

Ava DuVernay speech at Elle Women in Hollywood was EVERYTHING.
Read it here:
“My mother is from Compton, California, but my father is from Hayneville, Alabama and that’s less than 20 miles from Selma. When I was young, one of the uncles told me a great story one summer when I went back to Hayneville—​and it’s a story I never forgot. It was about a village in the south, the village of proud people that tucked itself away from a country that deemed them less than. It was an all-black village: there was a baker; a barber; a florist; a dentist; a preacher; and a school teacher. And while they paid attention to the rest of the world, supported change, and fought the struggle for recognition of their humanity and dignity, they also focused on their daily bread, their clean haircuts, their flowers, their teeth, their education, and their spirit. They didn’t allow their conversations to be wholly consumed by those who didn’t value them. They valued themselves. They kept themselves, and they cultivated joy.

I invite us to think of this room as a village, one that fights for change on the outside, but one that recognizes that an equal part of that fight is keeping ourselves strong and joyous and sane in a really insane industry. Because our conversation shouldn’t be consumed with what he’s not doing or what they don’t value. We value us. We build our village. We grow stronger. We testify in commissions, and we write our own op-eds, and we push at every turn that’s necessary. We also blossom because we nourish one another. We focus on her—​the woman sitting right next to you. We focus on us. It’s equally as important. If we don’t do both, I think we lose. Toni Morrison, a prophet that I really admire, said the function of racism is distraction to keep you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining your reason for being. I think sexism is the same. Patriarchy is the same thing—​constantly having to justify our very presence. It’s something to think about. I believe that there are multiple ways we can attack the problems that we face as women in this industry. And fortifying one another and being food and fuel and fire for one another is one of those things. If I don’t do it, I start thinking too much. And when I start thinking too much I start to be mad.

"OUR CONVERSATION SHOULDN’T BE CONSUMED WITH WHAT HE’S NOT DOING OR WHAT THEY DON’T VALUE. WE VALUE US.”

I start thinking of a friend of mine, a dear friend of mine, someone who I really admire and who I think is a great filmmaker that I started out at Sundance with. 2012. We had two little small films there. We both won a little something at Sundance and then we traveled the world. Amsterdam Film Festival, Stockholm Film Festival, we found ourselves in these European cities, just the two of us, walking around. One day I saw him at the Spirit Awards that year. We were both nominated for a little something.

And I said, “I got some good news. I got a big movie.”

“Big movie. What do you mean?”

“They’re giving me $20 million dollars..”

“$20 million dollars?”

“…to make Selma, a film about Dr. King.”

“Wow, that’s amazing.”

He said, “I have some good news too.”

“Really? What good news?”

“I got a movie, too.”

“Alright! We’re doing this. What’s it about?”

“It’s about dinosaurs. It’s called Jurassic World. And it costs $150 million dollars to film.”

Great guy, Colin Trevorrow. Now after Jurassic World he’ll go on and do Star Wars. And I’m happy for him.

But I think about the women who are also in that class of Sundance 2012 who weren’t one of the two women last year who directed a top 100 grossing film. I was one of two. That’s a sad statistic to me. It brings me no joy to be one of the two. Two. 109 people directed the 100 top grossing films. There were some combinations, some duos, some teams. 109 people. 107 were men. Two were women! Me and Angelina Jolie. Like, those odds aren’t great. You know what I mean? It brings me no joy to say that. It brings me no joy to think of all the women that were in that Sundance class with me, that did equal work to me, but that were left not behind but left in a stagnant place. It’s something we have to change.

IT BRINGS ME NO JOY TO BE ONE OF THE TWO WOMEN WHO DIRECTED AT TOP 100 GROSSING FILM LAST YEAR.

So, while we focus on the outward measures, while we focus on our rights, we have to focus on our spirits and our fortitude and our courage and our bravery, and we do that by lifting up each other. I learned that from my community. I learned that from the struggle of black and brown people. I learned that from women and our struggle for our rights thus far. There’s more to do particularly in Hollywood, so we have to be vigilant. We have to ask our agents about that script by the woman screenwriter. We have to ask, ‘Hey, are there any women agents here that I could talk to?’ We have to ask our lawyers about women in the office. We have to ask when we’re thinking about directors or DPs, Will women interview? This is something that the powerful women who are in front of the camera can do for all of us.

Ideas are just a chain reaction. Hopefully some of these ideas…some may be dismissed, some may take root. I look forward to hearing everyone’s ideas and talking to people. I think it’s something we have to think about within the celebration.

Last thing I’ll say is I really hate the word 'diversity.’ Oh, I just don’t like it. It feels like medicine. Diversity is like, 'Ugh. I have to do diversity.’ I recognize and celebrate what it is, but that word, to me, is a disconnect. There’s an emotional disconnect. Inclusion feels closer; belonging is even closer. Because we all belong to film. We all belong to television. We all belong to what this is. We look at Shondas and the Jills and the Oprahs and the Kathryns and all the women doing work behind the camera…So, I just want us to think about belonging. Think about who belongs. And welcoming people into that belonging. I feel like I belong here tonight, even though I’m the odd man out. But odd man out only being that everyone else is a size two.“

anonymous asked:

How do you write such captivating stories? I haven't quite got the hang of it and I'd like to know how you do it. Thanks!

Well, this is an incredibly flattering ask. Thank you, Anon! Needless to say, the following are things that I strive for and guiding principles, not things that I feel like I have ever properly mastered in my own writing. 

Start with the stories you know and love, and the stories that you wish you had on hand but don’t. Whatever you want to or need to hear, tell that story. 

Read a lot. Watch a lot. Listen a lot. Just consume as much media as you possibly can. Put fuel in your tank. You’ll need it. 

As you write, constantly think about how what you’re giving your audience will affect them. Start with whatever conclusion or emotional state you want to lead them towards, then work backwards from there. 

Think of writing as if you’re a lawyer arguing in court. Don’t give your audience anything except what you want them to be thinking about. Don’t bring up trains of thoughts that will pull focus from whatever conclusion you want them to arrive at. Don’t invite questions that you don’t want to answer. Keep them on target. 

Structure to the best of your abilities. Shorter is almost always more effective than longer, and story elements being recycled, repurposed, retooled, and reinvented throughout a story is almost always more satisfying as an audience member than new ones being introduced. When in doubt, shoot for the most complicated reaction that you can get out of the smallest amount of individual pieces as an operating principle. Work as hard as you can at getting things #StructuredAsFuck

Respect your audience. They are smart. They are paying close attention. They will catch tiny details. They will go back and reread/relisten/rewatch. Always write under these assumptions. Always reward your audience for being clever. 

Ultimately, try to make something that you think you would love and care about if you were the audience. Try to make something that you would feel rewarded by. You can never know for sure if other people will be captivated by your story, but if you don’t at least make it interesting to yourself you’ll never be able to articulate why anyone else should care about it. 

And, for God’s sake, listen to what much, much smarter people than me have to say on this subject. 

Happy storytelling! Good luck, and be sure to share when you feel like it!