your emotional

mm-society-hoes  asked:

Hey there !! Can you elaborate a little on why you think Jumin is emotionally constipated?? Thank you in advance :D

I sure can, my dear friend. 


As you see, by definition being emotionally constipated means not being able to handle and/or process emotion. It doesn’t mean that you lack emotion, or that your emotional range is in any way limited. Jumin isn’t emotionless, he just has a very hard time understanding his emotions. In fact, sometimes I feel like people who are emotionally constipated are as much, because once in their life they might have felt too much, incapable of handling and therefor suppressing said emotions. I feel like that might be the case with Jumin.

So, let’s have a look at what could have caused such constipation:

His birthmother

It is made obvious, on multiple occasions in the game, that Jumin’s birth mother was divorced by his father early on and seems to be out of the picture. She is never mentioned and his step-mother is the one he refers to as ‘mother’, which indicates that he doesn’t share a relationship to his biological mother. Such things are often hard on children, especially if my assumptions are true and the woman decided to abandon Jumin and her father. I cannot imagine Chairman Han refusing to let his son see his mother, nor that Jumin – especially at such a young age – would not want to see her. Being abandoned by a parent can leave deep wounds in any human being, let alone a vulnerable child. 

His step-mother

After being abandoned by one of the most important females in anyones life to have her replaced with this particular step mother did Jumin no good. Not only is she an obvious gold digger to the point that even a child would be able to notice, from the interactions he has with her it’s obvious that he doesn’t feel connected to her at all. She is nothing but a burden he tries to avoid at all costs. On top of that it is heavily implied that she has been sexually harassing him for quite some time, as he barely even reacts to her advances in the visual novel, almost like he’s gotten used to them by now. So, the second female and core role model of his life turns out to be a disappointment and failure as well. Once more, something that leaves a child rather empty and lost.

His father

Now while Jumin has a reportedly great relationship to his father, that might actually be a big reason as to why he is the way he is. For one, without a second parent to ‘fixate’ on, Jumin had to give all his attention to his father. The father he first and foremost got to know as a huge businessman. While they do exchange gifts and nice gestures, that is hardly something you would call a healthy, let alone warm relationship. Anyone can spend money on a gift for you, but you will feel none the richer for it in the emotional department. So not only did his father lack a certain emotional bond to his son, Jumin also had to watch him have a string of empty flings. That could have negative consequences for multiple reasons other than the obvious. Seeing someone he looks up to so much, as a father and a rational businessman, give away love to freely to meaningless women, losing all his rationality must have hurt in many ways.

Upbringing

His upbringing, in my opinion, plays a big role in this as well. For one he learned early on that all the praise he got was empty and thereby worthless. As a young, impressionable child you rely heavily on what people around you tell you. What your surroundings encourage or discourage you to do can change the paths you take in life rather heavily. It certainly did for Jumin. Not being properly praised, which in his mind probably equated to not being praised at all, made him develop an unhealthy perfectionism. With him it’s either 0% or 100% with nothing in between. Seeing the world like that though, black and white while ignoring all these shades of grey, generally speaking has negative aspects on emotions, as they rarely fit into such simple categories.

Life in the public eye

I think this one might not be something a lot of people would take into consideration, but from the moment Jumin was born his entire life was spent mostly in the public eye. He seems to be one step short of being a full blown idol with people constantly throwing themselves at him. As an adult that is already restricting and tiring, but growing up that way must have had an impact. You learn early on to control yourself at all costs, seeing as any misstep could be broadcasted for the entire world to watch. For someone who is responsible for an entire company like Jumin, he simply cannot afford any mishaps. So, to prevent such things from happening, once more he is forced to conceal his feelings and thoughts in order to remain diplomatic and flawless.

Rika

I mean who did this bitch not fuck over, seriously? The only friend Jumin ever had was V and the second she stepped into the picture that friend was lost to him. Now some people might think that hey, just because you have a relationship you don’t just forget your friends and you are right. For most people that is the case. However, Rika, V and Jumin aren’t your usual relationship type of people. For one V is completely obsessed with Rika to the point of unhealthy. He is completely dedicated to her, willing to blind himself and therefor ruin the one thing that brought him joy (and money) forever, just to prove his love. I think it is safe to assume that he would be one of those people to say no to a friend in order to say yes to a lover, namely Rika. So, not only did Rika take Jumin’s best and only friend, but she also took the last bit of heart Jumin had left. She seduced him in a way he hadn’t yet encountered and didn’t understand until many years later – which we see in his route – and V helped her do so. Rika wanted Jumin for his money to make her dream of Mint Eye come true and not only did V not stop her, but he enabled her. She toyed with Jumin’s emotions and when he didn’t deliver the way she wanted to she brushed him off and Elizabeth the 3rd stepped in, all his love and obsessions 'wasted’ on a cat.

Misunderstood

This is my last point and it is an important one: Jumin is always and constantly misunderstood and mistreated. In the chat no one really seems to be on his side, ever. Yoosung and Seven are buds, Jaehee always sides with Zen in dissing Jumin while he himself is all alone. Not only that, but all his attempts to fit in are constantly blocked off. Having grown up with no other children around, other than V, in a very posh and rich neighbourhood, more focused on pleasing his father and meeting his expectations than teenage lingo, Jumin has no understanding of things the others would consider normal. They often tease him for it, making fun of him and only pushing him further towards emotional isolation. However, when he actually attempts to understand they think he is making fun of them and quickly shut him down. They also feed into a lot of rumours amongst others teasing him about being gay – which he obviously isn’t but the press made up to get some sort of dirt on his otherwise white coat – only making him feel the more isolated. His love interest is dead, his best friend abandoned him and the rest of his 'friend’ hate and belittle him. Who would not attempt to shut their emotions off? Well, sadly turning emotions off isn’t possible, but redirecting them is, no matter how unhealthy. Enter Elizabeth the 3rd.

Now how does his emotional constipation show:

Mainly through his obsession with Elizabeth the 3rd, his overly fatherly behaviour towards the RFA and of course the intense love for MC in his route. All the emotions he doesn’t dare express with anyone else he focuses on the only living being that has never fucked him over: the cat. Despite everyone being hella rude and mean to Jumin he stills acts like a father figure to everyone, trying to make up what his father fucked up with him, or at least attempting to. He sends Yoosungs parents to see him, because he thinks Yoosung is lonely, not really understanding that he might not like such invasion at all. He sends bodyguards to everyone to protect them. He offers Zen jobs to help him and gives Jaehee a lot of hours to make her earn a lot of money as he was taught that money was the most valuable thing in the world. As for MC, that one is actually quite understandable. He only ever loved one woman and that woman ended up failing him as well before dying. Now he finally meets someone that not only he is drawn to, but who understands him, who sees his attempts at being a good person as such, who laughs at his jokes, who defends him in a group consisting of pairs where he’d been all alone and never even attempts to go after his wealth, gradually erasing the negative image of women that had been created in his mind. After years and years of suppressing his emotions, of course he 'lashes out’ on MC the way he does. It’s like she breaks a dam inside of him and then gets a little drowned by the wave of emotion before he learns to control it. 

In conclusion: Jumin is a very emotional person, but doesn’t know how to express himself correctly and often misunderstands certain emotions in others as well as himself. He denies himself emotion which makes them come out in sometimes negative ways. All this poor boy needs is a loving and very patient girlfriend.

Them Liking Each Other but Being Shy: PENTAGON

JinHo:

In the end, he would confess first, with the support of other members more like bullying—.


Hui:

He will never be the first to confess, and instead you would do it as you’d get frustrated from your own emotions.


HongSeok:

The real man who would grab his balls in his hands and would just go to you and confess.


E’Dawn:

“Shy? No, I don’t know her.”


ShinWon:

The one that always pushes the date of D-Day for confession to another day, and in the end just kinda, sorta wings it.


YeoOne:

That guy that say’s he’s okay with just being friends and is actually okay with being just friends, even if his heart is hurting a little bit.


YanAn:

He would try very hard to somehow show to you that he likes you, but it would always look weird af.


Yuto:

That man that say’s he’s okay with being just friends but as soon as competition appears he’s suddenly not fine a all and is going in for the kill.


Kino:

Oh God, he’d be all cutesy around her, but whenever another member would even mention something even relatively suggestive about him and you, he’d pull a quick one and silently stab them.


WooSeok:

Pretty dense but continuing to live with the thought of you actually not liking him, even if all the others were trying to encourage him to confess.

LMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck was up with gukdoo’s sudden outburst like ‘bongsoon…..is mine to protect !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ that was actually so fucking funny I almost peed my pants. his voice was like booming n idk man it was just so random n its like he forgot minhyuk was the one that got STABBED for her like what did you do for her ?? buy her an emergency watch that is secretly a fitbit ?? give her a weakass taser ?? not confess to her despite being with her for 20 years n not realizing your emotions for somebody that has loved, worried n thought about you since the 9th grade ??? like hahahah is that what you did for her bravo IN GUK FOOL !!!!!!!

Basic transits meaning

 Feel free to add + correct something! I’m still learning about this so your help is amazing :)

I’ll cover the houses here. If you want to check your transits, here you have a tutorial by @astrologanize

Sun: focus, where you shine brighter than ever! Where the sun falls, it’ll be your main interest for a certain time. For example, Sun transiting your 11th house will focus on social life, friend groups and your dreams. Sun transiting your 6th house will be focused on routine and getting things done, rather than dreaming and being social.

Moon: this planet’s transits are really short (2 days approximately), so its effect is more like “daily mood” than big and meaningful cycles in your life. These transits show where your emotions are focused on, and where you may be more creative. I highly recommend to check the sign where the transit Moon is in! For example, Cancer moon is transiting in your 2nd house. That’ll mean you’re a lot more attached emotionally to your material goods, and you may buy too many things during this transit. Of course, this feeling only last for like two days so next week you might regret all the useless things you’ve bought…

Mercury: this planet’s transits tend to last one month aproximately. These transits show where your mental focus is, your mental state and what kind of subjects are you up to learn. Plus, it brings a lot of energy to the house’s activities. For example, Mercury transiting the 3rd house will be a lot more witty and will seek more mental stimulation than usual. It may be difficult to stop thinking and you may jump from one thought to the next fearly quickly. This is a good time to focus on mental activities, like school or college.

Venus: this planet’s transits last about one month. This transits tend to show where you feel more confident and social. If it isn’t in a bad aspect with any natal planet, it’ll be a good transit. Depending the house transit Venus is, you may be a lot more creative and artsy. For example, Venus transiting your 5th house will make you more prone to flirting without a clear objective, more like an entertaiment than a real affair. This placement is perfect for creative activities, like drawing.

Mars: this planet’s transits last about one month. This brings a boost of energy to the activities concerned to the transited house, and may indicate what drives you during that time. For example, Mars transiting your 9th house will be eager to learn, and motivation to travel and experience new things.

The following planets have a wider orbit around the sun, therefore, they stay longer in each house. Personally, I think their effects are way more crucial than, for example, the moon’s. 

Saturn: this planet’s transits last about one or two years. It is mostly seen as a hard aspect because it shows where one have work to do in order to reach a goal, where we don’t feel enough and it sometimes lead to insecurity and limitations. For example, Saturn transiting in the 10th house can make you feel useless in your career and vulnerable in front of others, and you might feel your work isn’t rewarded. This is a good time to work harder than ever and find holes in your public image and goals.

Jupiter: this planet’s transits last for one year. It shows where you find yourself luckier and happier, and what will help you to expand your life. This is generally seen as a good transit, not matter what kind of aspects it has with your natal planets. For example, Jupiter in the 12th house finds happiness and expansion through relaxing and spiritual ways, like meditation. This is a good time to analyze yourself and let your ego wash away.

Uranus: this planet spends many years in one house and sign. It brings change and mental energy. Change is abrupt and may be caused by a change of mentality or plain boredom. Uranus is here to start new things, to dare and to challenge you. For example, if Uranus is in your 1st house, you may feel you need to change your appearence and your identity may be challenged. This is a good time to change your style and re-create yourself.

Neptune: this planet spends many years in one house and sign. Where it is placed, things get burried. It’s a time where you are more creative, spiritual and confused at the same time. This transit paints a certain part of your life with fantasy. If Neptune is transiting your 6th house, for example, you’ll daydreaming a lot more than you’re used to and procrastination may take over your life if you don’t control it. This is a good time to make art though.

Pluto: this planet spends many years in one house and sign. Transformation is the key word for this transit. Where transit Pluto is placed, things (think about habits, cycles, etc) end in order to start new ones. Also, it can symbolize that your current habits will be transform permanently. Negative feelings may be regular in certain times. Things from the past may do a come back. For example, if Pluto is transiting your 7th house, several of your relationships and friendships may transform in something new, bad or good. Plus, some of your relationships may end and that will mean a new cycle, a “new” you. This is a good time to reevaluate your relationships and throw away the negative ones in your life.

-Melisa.

bpd-woes  asked:

Hey I was wondering if you could promote this website called myCompass on your blog? Basically it is a self-help programme that is free, and you can work through modules to help you monitor and regulate your emotions better, to help create achievable goals, to increase better sleep etc. Basically it's just a great mental health tool kit and I thought I'd just mention it to a few of the blogs I follow! I have BPD and it really has been helping me out.

:0c idk where to link for this but if anyone knows where this is pls reblog this with the link!

The crushing, heavy dinner-induced realization on a late Friday night that nothing in your life has ever really been completely up to you,

really absolutely nothing completely,

so when someone tells you “it’s up to you” earlier, you transform into a ball of acute depression and you have to be alone before you vomit up your emotions all over the place.

anonymous asked:

i had to cut this guy off nearly a month ago after he fucked with my emotions one too many times. he's a fuckboy but i saw his true feelings and i think he fell in love with me and just got scared. it annoys me that i'm still in love with him but i had to let him go. anyway sorry but i just needed to vent because tbh your sex posts are amusing but at the same time i'm like arrghhh yknow

I always get sex asks lol like the rest are never anonymous so I answer them privately.

Hey, at least you did what’s best for you and cut off someone who can’t respect and acknowledge your emotions. I’m sure it feels bad right now but that’s just because u probably feel devoid because of that person but hey I promise u there is people who will love u the way u love them + more

OKAY BUT FRIENDS PICTURE THIS: ACTUAL WALKING MOUNTAIN QUI GON JINN TUCKING HIS TEENY TINY PADAWAN OBI UNDER HIS ARM AND BENEATH HIS CLOAK WHEN IT’S RAINING TO KEEP HIS SMOL SON SAFE AND WARM