your dead grandma

“Why do you keep avoiding me?” he asked her. “Do you really hate me that much?” It wasn’t the first time he’d asked her. It was more like the tenth, and she was beginning to grow tired of it.

“I don’t hate you!” she exclaimed, exasperated. “Okay? I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you at all.”

“Then why avoid me? Why ignore me?” he persisted.

“Because,” she sighed, “being around you makes me sad.”


“Yes, sad,” she said. “Because it’s like being at a funeral. You were a part of my life that I loved, but now it’s gone. I will always love it, but being around you is almost like getting a constant reminder that your grandma is dead.” She shook her head, looking away from him. “You just.. You make me sad.”

—  excerpt from an unfinished book #145
The Signs as Lines from Speeches (Part 2)
  • Aries: "Did you know that I can make stupid people leave places with my mind? {stares at audience member} 43% of the time."
  • Taurus: "I'm inside an ass 3 times a day, and if it's washed, it's a Christmas miracle."
  • Gemini: "And President Trump, Tom Brady is in your bedroom so after work, you can just go ahead and grab that pussy."
  • Cancer: "If you were to die right now, where'd you think you'd go? Heaven? Really? Are you sure? Okay..."
  • Leo: "Just like Neo from the Matrix, Snap inc also believed in themselves. And maybe did the cool back bend thing. I don't know."
  • Virgo: "So your grandma is dead, but, BUNNIES!"
  • Libra: "Get out your brushes, because I'm going to serve up some truth paste."
  • Scorpio: "Warlocks are enemies of God."
  • Sagittarius: "He also believed in Sasquatch... and eventually dumped me for someone irritatingly named Mindy"
  • Capricorn: "Wait - is Betsy DeVos not a good representation of feminism?"
  • Aquarius: "Tits as small as always, Jesus Freak?"
  • Pisces: "Our ancestors ate oranges because they go great with vodka. Just like our president because he is orange and goes great with vodka."


The Atrian Seven had succeeded. Set five years after the end of Season One, the integration program has been a success despite its many trials and those that heavily spoke against it. Due to its success, a college was built not even twenty minutes from where The Sector resided. A college that Incorporated both Atrian Aliens and humans alike.

However, not all are happy in their new collective world. A brand new group of Red Hawks has emerged. Friendly on the outside but even more dangerous in private. Will the co-existing University still run smoothly as college begins or will all hell break lose and the world return to humans against Atrians? Only time will tell.

- Must be 18+.
- No ooc drama but ic drama is encouraged!
- Anyone can apply! OC’s, canons, other fandoms, dead characters, your grandma, your dog, whatever!
- This is based on the TV show Star-Crossed. You don’t have to have watched the show to join! It is on Netflix, though, and only one season. 10/10 recommend.
- There will be super lax monthly activity checks but it’s seriously not that pressed. We’re here to have fun! And real life is more important!
- Major plotlines have to be run by the moderators, to make sure the reality/logic of the world stays consistent. This also includes character deaths, particular fights/feuds, pregnancies, and any Atrian discoveries that are encountered. Chaos is good but we want controlled chaos!
- One muse allowed per person for now while we get things rolling. But if you’re active enough and ask the mods, you can add in a second muse. We’re capping it at 2 muses per player.
- Duplicates will not be accepted unless each party has discussed first. First person to apply with the face has veto power.
- There may be triggers! This includes drugs, alcohol, nsfw, and maybe death and stuff. So be courteous! And stay away if you can’t hang.
- Please track gv. starcrossed university and ooc. starcrossed university for in character & out of character interaction!
- Submit the APP to either Beth @portectorisms​​ or Tot @hisprometheus​ !!


(ARE YOU 18+)

AFFILIATION: (Pro-Atrian, New Hawks, Trags, N/A.)


1. Clark Griffin (rule!63) || @hoperisen || Atrian (Pro-Integration) || 22 (Junior) // Hunter Parrish
2. Leon Park || @cupcakemonwrites || Atrian (Trags) || 22 (Junior) // U-Kwon
3. Damen Hera || @viirid || Atrian (Trags) || 25 (Senior) // Ryan Hawley
4. Sable Night || @finalstray || Atrian || 20 (Freshman) // Lucky Blue Smith


1. Davina Claire || @fallenregent || Atrian || 21 (Sophomore) // Danielle Campbell
2.  Annabelle “Anna” Johnson || @strongforalittlething || 21 (Sophomore) // Malese Jow
3. Raven Reyes || @glitchmob || 21 (Senior) // Lindsey Morgan


1. Bellamy Blake || @portectorisms || Human || 25 (Senior) // Bob Morley
2. Hale Ashwood || @runedsoldier || Human || 25 (Junior/Student Teacher) // Casey Deidrick
3. Simon Lewis || @remembcr || 19 (Sophomore) // Alberto Rosende


1. Octavia Blake || @hisprometheus || Human || 19 (Sophomore) // Marie Avgeropolous

Can of whoopass potion

In your magical career you will encounter these lovely beings known as spirits. Now sometimes spirits can be loveable goofs who just want to help you in your life. Such as your ancestral spirits, guardian angels/demons, astral friends etc. Usually you will know right off the bat if a spirit is a benign presence or if its a malevolent one. If a spirit is interfering in your sleep, dreams, activities, or prayer (note this one especially as trying to keep you from calling on beings who could probably kick its spectral ass is a huge sign of wuh-oh dynamics) to any point in which you are inconvenienced then its time to open this can of whoopass.

Now there is a fun section of spiritualists and witches on tumblr who will try to convince you that every spirit is your friend and its just acting out because it needs attention or help. This is the same rhetoric of he/she hit me because I didn’t do X and it was totes out of love and stuff, and its apologist trash. If you don’t want a spirit near you then you have the right to tell it to hit the road. This is the material realm and guess whose living as a material being (for now) thats right a material being is you! You are living on this plane of existence. There for you decide what can and can’t remain near you.

So we’re going to be making a simple spritzer (like magical mace) do you’ll need the following

A spray bottle

Witch Hazel - 2 drops so dont go buying the big bottle if you don’t need it.

Water (blessed unsalted so like river water or some storm/rain/snow water)

Rosemary (evil repellent)

Red pepper (irritant)

Basil (cleaner plus attracts good vibes)

Parsley (because presentation is important and acts as a booster to the other ingredients)

Cayenne pepper (another irritant and needed in addition to the red pepper as they burn in different heats so it confuses the spirit)

Garlic powder (for vampires and another evil repellent)

Optional (personal touches here)

Cedar tips (I freaking love cedar, its smells amazing, burns easy and is a major spiritual powerhouse of luck and spirit banishment, also its oil is an astringent and antibiotic and has been revered by many peoples throughout history in both the magical and mundane. some cedar chips or ash would also be a good addition if you can’t find tips)

Pine needles (pine is another amazing cleansing agent and also invites fortune into your home, not really needed if you use cedar though)

Lilac ( useful as a mellowing agent in our mixture to help calm the energy that’s being displaced and adds some pleasant smell to what is basically pepper and garlic spray)

The work

So now that we have our ingredients we just need to prepare our potion

On low heat combine everything but the witch hazel. Adding a pinch of each herb and spice only (don’t deplete your cupboard only a small amount is needed). Stir with a wooden spoon (or a cedar stick #cedarlyfe) for about 10 minutes. This step is important as the actor stirring will impart a bit of your essence and vibration onto the potion. Bring to a boil and simmer COVERED for about 5 minutes (turn on your vent that pepper is going to be strong here and you don’t want to be filling your home with spirit mace vapor. )

Allow to cool and bottle adding the two drops of Witch Hazel before capping.

To use spray the fuck out of an area that you need to repel spirits that will try to harm you. Remember that since were using rosemary and garlic here negative spirits should be the only ones effected, so don’t worry about banishing your dead grandma or pet as long as they resonate with your vibrations (hence why you were the one stirring the potion while it was being heated) it should all be fine.

Happy hunting

Originally posted by the-tfp-account

NCT as shit I heard at work today

(To those who don’t know; I work part time at the local pony riding in my town (the parents pay and I put their children on a horse and walk around with them) so these things are said by kids between the ages of 3-10ish.)

Taeil: ”I promise to eat my broccoli’s, but not on Saturdays. Or Mondays.” *he was fascinated by how tall I was lol I’m 170 cm*
Hansol: ”Is your grandma also dead?”
Johnny: ”Can you take my phone and hatch all my pokémon eggs?“
Taeyong: ”If you want to, I can take over while you take a nap”
Yuta:  ”You look really mean but you’re nice"
Kun: ”Does it (the horse) have a penis or belly button?” *he forgot the word* *and the sentence* *he wanted to ask the pony’s gender*
Doyoung: “Your eyebrows are thicker than all my fingers put together” *that’s a lie*
Ten: *when asked what horse he wants to ride* *points at me* ”I wanna ride the girl!”
Jaehyun: ”I lived in America (for four years)
Winwin: ”I’m scared but I like it.“
Mark: ”Do you wanna come to my birthday party? There’s gonna be cake and a clown! And we have a pool.”
Jeno: ”Are you a pirate?” *literally heard this hundreds of times bc my ear piercing*
Donghyuck: ”If you’re 19 how come you have so many wrinkles?“
Jaemin: ”When I grow up I’m gonna marry you. Or are you already married?”
Jisung: ”I’m small so be kind"

Abort Mission 7-Stiles AU


A/N : this is a long long update. like 14 pages long.Previous chapters here: 

Previous parts here :









‘’How’s the leg?’’ I motion at Scott’s wounded knee as  I take a seat next to him.

‘’ I gave that Simon guy the papers you wanted me to.’’ Scott states.

‘’ so I heard. ‘’ I nod.

‘’ it hurts like a motherfucker’’ he adds referring to his knee.

‘’ Look Scott. We need to talk.’’ I begin.

‘’ is this a confession ?’’ Scott smirks.

‘’ no. well, kind of, Listen. In the light of recent events, your job has become ten times more dangerous. Y/N and I , discovered we are being targeted, and well decided to deal with it, by carrying on with the mission, keep being targeted, until we realize why they need us out. You however, need not be a target. We are releasing you from your duties. At the end of every mission, we will be mentioning you as if you were there at the reports so that they won’t suspect anything, but we decided, you don’t have to risk your life anymore than you already did. ‘’ I say in one breath as Scott’s eyes widen. He stares  at me for about five minutes, not saying anything.

‘’ so ?’’ I encourage him to answer.

‘’ well it is an interesting offer…’ he trails off.

‘’ Scott I am not joking. Yesterday you took a bullet.’’ I remind him.

‘’ and look how handsome I look today. ‘ he smiles

‘’ you’re lucky it was your knee. Scott you haven’t received combat training. We can’t have you exposed out there. ‘’ I say trying to make him understand.

‘’ I like working for you two Stiles…’’ Scott says in a serious face now.

‘’ Are you not grasping the concept of death or have you always been this suicidal ?’’ I ask sarcastically.

‘’ I mean it Stilinski. ‘’  he frowns.

‘’ but why ?’’ I ask curiously.

‘’well, you’re the first people that I feel like I am working WITH and not FOR, also Y/N’s hot, I like dogs as well, and well I have nothing else to do with my life. No family, no nothing.’’

‘’ Y/N’S mine, dogs are awesome, but I still think you’re underestimating the danger of the situation.’’

‘’ I feel useful with you, it’s not the job I want Stiles, I want to feel useful, like I am contributing. And you have given me that. It’s not about the job at all. I just needed purpose and you gave me that. ‘’ he finishes and I sigh giving in.

‘’fine. But if you die I won’t say I told you so.’’  I chuckle and call Y/N.



‘’ so which one is the target ?’’ Y/N asks grabbing the file from my hands.

‘’ It doesn’t say, but I think it’s the wife.’’  I inform her.

‘’ It makes perfect sense. Couple owned big company. Marriage issues. They never signed a pre-nup and since they built the company together , the divorce makes it difficult to decide who gets what. Husband wants the wife dead.’’ Scott blurs out taking us both by surprise.

‘’ this, could actually be it. ‘’ I mumble.

‘’ No, they want us killed, but the mission must have a purpose, otherwise they’ll blow their cover. This is too straight forward. And that’s not how I.S.I. runs things.’’ Y/N places her head on the table as if giving up.

‘’I guess we figure the purpose along the way.? ‘’ Scott suggests.

‘’ let’s just focus on killing the husband for now.’’  I say and motion at the waitress to get us our bill.  The girl approaches us and stares at me. I look at Scott. Is there something on my face. She smiles and pulls her hair back while handing us the paper.

‘’ Um, one coffee it’s not in there..’’ I mumble noticing the price.

‘’oh that’s on me , handsome.’’ She giggles and I thank her, smiling back at her. You still got it Stilinski.

‘’ that would be all , thank you’’ Y/N says, motioning her to go.

‘’ heyy I was having a conversation’’ I turn to whisper at her as the girl leaves.

‘’ no you were picturing her naked, and we have work to do.’’ She says stiffly.

———– 24 HOURS LATER———–




‘’ I’M GOING TO KILL YOU STILES !!!’’ I yell at Stiles trying to untie my hands.

‘’ I THINK THEY’LL DO IT FIRST’’ Stiles yells back.

The iron platform on which we are tied is approaching the opening of this huge thing they use to cremate bodies in.

‘’ I hate you both…’’ Scott mumbles.

The dog from across the room is staring at us.

‘’ I HATE THAT DOG’’ Stiles says.


——————–24 HOURS BEFORE——————


‘’ I’ll approach the husband, you approach the wife. ‘’ Stiles orders.

‘’ shouldn’t it be the other way around ?’’ I ask.

‘’ I said approach, not seduce. According to these, the wife hosts charity events. And the husband gambles at horse races.’’

‘’ugh rich people.’’ Scott whispers.

‘’ he will be attending a horse race in a few hours and she has an event tonight. I should be off. ‘’ Stiles says checking the clock.

‘’ Take the earpiece.’’ I say and hand him the device. Scott stops the car to let Stiles off, and drives me back to the apartment we had for the first mission.




I enter the audience seats, looking for the man in the photo.This is going to take forever

‘’OUCH’’ I let out as someone walks against me and hits my shoulder.

‘’ Sorry, I’m just in a hurry.’’ The man says and I take in his appearance.

‘’ Wait. Are you Mr. Thornhill ?’’ I ask and the man now notices me.

‘’ not another journalist…’’ he mumbles.

‘’ oh no I’m actually. I work for your company., got hired yesterday.’’ I say and point the fake logo on my wallet. It’s the logo of a dollar with two lines. I mean what pretentious bastard uses that logo ?

‘’ oh, well thousands of people work for me , I can’t remember everyone. Now if you’ll excuse me. ‘’ he says avoiding me and rushing to another way of the seats.

He is holding a paper on his hand with the number of the horse he has been betting on. 36. that’s always a good number.

‘’ Actually I was informed you would be here and thought I’d thank you for the position. Also let you know that I will be racing today.’’ I smirk. He realizes where this is going.

‘’ really ? what number?’’ he asks.

‘’ thirty six..’’ I say as honestly as I can.

‘’ maybe we didn’t start off that well. Allow me to introduce myself, Allister Thornhill. And you are ?’’ he asks.

‘’ Scott McCall’’ I say the first name that comes to mind.

‘’ how would you like a promotion, Scott ?’’ he smirks whispering.

‘’ depends on what I have to do to get it…’’

‘’ finish the race in the first three? ‘’ he whispers and I nod, extending my hand for him to sake it.

‘’ you don’t have to play nice.’’ He yells as I walk away.

‘’ I never do Mr. Thornhill’’ I chuckle.

I run away from the audience, and back, avoiding the security. Behind the stadium there is a huge door, guarded, that leads to the horses and their riders.  I breathe in once and look at the huge guys in front of the door.

‘’ You had to lie about being a rider.’’ I hear Y/N’s voice through the earpiece. Then I also hear some water.

‘’ what are you doing ?’’ I ask knowing she is back at our apartment.

‘’ showering why ?’’ she asks completely oblivious to how much that information frustrates me.

‘’I need you to check the horses rates. ‘’ I say as I approach the guards.

‘’what now ?’’ she asks.

‘’ yes now.’’

‘’ Sorry kid, entrance is restricted. You can’t be here.’’ One of the guards say.

‘’ Oh I apologize, my mistake. ‘’ I say walking closer.

‘’ turn around mate. ‘’ he orders motioning for me to leave.

‘’ of course.’’ I say walking closer. Now they both become alarmed , holding out their guns.

‘’wo wow o okay okay, relax’’ I say raising my hands.

‘’ I’m leaving’’ I mumble and as I turn around I throw a gus bomb at their direction.

‘’ GET DOWN’’ one of the yells. I pull on my mask, and run to them, punching the first one, the other one even though chocking manages to grab my neck and lift me up, I kick with my legs his stomach and as soon as I land  I kick him again and he falls onto the other guy. The smoke fades away and now both of them are on the ground.

‘’ did you get it ?’’ I aks Y/N  as I enter the doors.

‘’ yes. Number 11 has won 23 races, with number 7 following. 36 is the third best. You’re going to have to run better than 11 and 7.’’

‘’ or…they can run worse than me’’ I say as I spot the stable with the number 36 on it.

‘’just make sure you’re in the first three.’’ Y/N says and I hear the water re-opening, shaking my head hoping to shake some thoughts off.

‘’ who are you ?’’ the man in the uniform with the number 36 says

‘’ I am so so sorry man I was asked to come here and tell you, your grandma is dead. You should go, your mom needs you.’’ I blur out and the guy widens his eyes, rushing away. He suddenly stops and turns around.

‘’ wait a minute. My grandma died seven years ago..’’ he mumbles.

‘’ about that…’’ I say but finish that sentence with my fist on his face. He drops to the floor unconscious.

‘’ OUCH !’’ I let out, massaging my knuckles. I strip him off of his uniform.

The third ring is heard, as I get on the horse, Then the doors open.

I lean closer to the horse as it starts running. Number 36 is indeed very fast, and I realize so as I wave by the other riders.

‘’ you can do this buddy.’’ I whisper to the horse as it moves faster. I can see number 11 ahead of me and ever so slightly take something out of the uniforms pocket. It is one of the devices that my company uses. Too small to be detected.

We used this in bank robberies. They basically paralyze the legs. It proved useful If you wanted to avoid taking any hostages.

I toss the device and it lands on number 11. He soon becomes aware of the impact. The horse realizes his riders is frustrated and changes pace. The man falls off the horse, which disqualifies him. I keep riding number 36.

Soon we can see number 7.

‘’ you don’t have to come in first. It’ll raise suspicions.’’ I hear Y/N’s voice shaking some logic in me.

The sounds the crowd make are audible even outside the stadium as the race finishes.


—————–24 HOURS LATER——————–

‘’ if that dog keeps staring at us with that smirk as we die, I swear to god!’’’ I whine.

‘’ If I could just reach my leg…’’ Stiles mumbles.

‘’ SCOTT , CAN YOU REACH STILES’ LEG ?’’ I ask and Scott attempts to but the ropes prevent him from doing so.


———————–20 HOURS BEFORE——————-

‘’That was an excellent race indeed…’’ Allister shakes his glass with mine and a few other men. More drinks being served to us. One of the big men is holding a huge dog.

‘’ isn’t MRs. Thornhill going to celebrate your victory ?’’ I ask and his expression changes.

‘’ I am afraid she has an event to host.’’


‘’ I hate this.’’ I mumble to the earpiece as yet another waitor offers me food.

‘’ Y/N, show some respect it is charity after all.’’ Stiles mumbles.

‘’ How is it going with Allister ?’’

‘’ he changes topic whenever I mention his wife or the company. Also half the people that are with us, look like Mafia.’’

‘’ have fun. Make some friends’’ I say sarcastically but stop talking as I stop the wife.


‘’Mrs. Thornhill. What a lovely event’’ I smile and she nods.

‘’and you are?’’ she asks.

‘’ Alaska Young. Pleased to meet you. ‘’

‘’ You too Alaska. ‘’ she says and furrows her brows. This whole act bores me. I can’t do what Stiles does. Take on a part and work my way through. I am more of straight to the main course type.

‘’ may I ask why your husband wants you dead ?’’ I ask and hear Stiles chocking on his drink through the earpiece.

‘’ perhaps we should talk somewhere more isolated…’’ she says.




‘’ It was a lovely evening Mr. Thornhill.’’ I shake his hand and turn to leave as he walks towards the elevator. But then I notice that three of the guys that were with us, take the elevator as well. Including the one with the dog. I run and just before the doors shut, I enter.

‘’ almost missed it..’’ I say looking to the front.




‘’ Who are you ?’’ Mrs. Thornhill asks.

‘’ someone who might be interested in saving your life. ‘’ I smile.

‘’shame’’ she comments and pulls out of her handbag a tiny gun.

‘’ Oh no,not you..’; I whine.




I notice the elevator as we move down towards the parking lot, floor by floor.

A gun shot is heard through my ear piece which makes me worry about Y/N. Without realizing I should be worrying about myself, because due to the complete silence in the elevator, the gunshot was audible to Mr. Thornhill and the others as well , and it takes them less than a second to process that I am wearing an ear piece.

‘’ want to talk about it ?’’ I smile turning to face them with a worried expression.

One of them hit a button the causes the elevator to stop while another pulls out a gun.

‘’ okay no talking’’ I say using the third guy as a shield to avoid the first shot.



‘’ That was Scott’s ‘’ I say referring to the handback Mrs Thornhill just shot as I managed to avoid the bullet.

I kick her hand causing her to drop the weapon. She grabs the end of my dress and pulls me back but I manage to knee her mouth, blood coming out her nose.

‘’ they told us you little bastards would get on our way.’’ She says as she punches me. I grab her face and headbump her.

‘’ get in your way to what ?’’ I ask out of breath. She grabs my hair and I whine in pain, I notice the pair of scissors she had used to cut the ribbon  of the main entrance and grab it, shoving it in her shoulder. She lets go off me and pulls it out as I regain my breath.

‘’ killing my husband.’’ She says.



I throw one of the now dead men onto another and Grab Allister by the neck, placing the paralyzing device near his neck. The other men stop firing.

‘’ this is a shocking device. 5000 volts. ‘ I lie and they toss their guns on the elevator’s floor.

‘’ you don’t understand’’ Allister whines as I hold him. The dog starts barking.

‘’ what ?’’ I ask.

‘’ if I don’t kill her, she’ll kill me.’’ Allister says.

‘’ who ?’’ I ask.

‘’ ,my wife.’’ He says and I place the device on his neck causing his legs to paralyze and I grab the guns from the floor.




‘’ who told you we were coming ?’’ I ask aiming at her with her own gun.

and then before she can answer, Scott hits her with his car, breaking the glass doors of the building.

‘’get in ! get in !’’


I am waiting for the elevator, that appears to be out of order. I sigh and decide to leave when I notice the numbers are moving again and the elevator is approaching. The doors finally arrive and as they open making a beeping sound, my jaw drops to the ground.

Inside the elevator I see three men lying on the floor, bullet holes everywhere and out of it , steps a yound man holding a dog.



‘’ Thanks !’’ I say to Scott as I take off the dress in the back seat, putting on my black leggings and t-shirt.

‘’ Y/N, we have an issue.’’ I hear Stiles saying through the earpiece.

‘’  she wants him dead’’

‘’ he wants her dead’’

We both say at the same time, and Scott who hears it mouth an oops.

‘’ they also want us dead. ‘’ Stiles says and I chuckle.

‘’ yes, cause we’re here to stop them…’’ I mumble.

‘’ not exactly.’’ He says.

‘’ elaborate’’ I say finally dress as Scott drives to where he can Locate Stiles’ earpiece.

‘’ it took me a while but I figured it out.’’ He says. Scott stops the car, and a wounded , messy Stiles enters.

‘’ check their logo.’’ He orders and hands me his wallet with the fake logo he used to approach Allister.,


I see the symbol of a dollar $ only with two lines crossing it.

‘’ It’s I.S.I.’’ he mumbles and I squeeze the wallet in my hand.

hey buddddy 😜👋 my grandma 👵 may have died 😭😫🚑🚑⛪️ but at least 😓😤 i still have you 💯 to keep me strong 💪🙌 through these tough 🙀 times 🕦🕟🕗 your a gr8⃣ friend 😬👌👬👫👭💏 SEND THIS TO 5⃣ FRIENDS 🙋🙋 YOU WOULD WANT TO REPLACE 🙅 YOUR DEAD GRANDMA ☁️☁️👵☁️☁️ and your crush😍💘 will kiss 👄👅💋 you this week‼️ ignore and grandma goes to hell 🔥🔥👵🔥🔥👹🔥🔥

anonymous asked:

Exo react to your reaction of them accidentally killing your pet fish

Tao: “She’s going to freaking kill me. Omo omo ooO-OH hahahahahhaa hi I was just…checking for…termites…yeah…”

Suho: “Wait…Fish can’t eat chicken wings? Oh…”

Luhan: *tells him how your dead great grandma gave you the fish when you were young* “Wow that’s amazing.” Welp…I guess this is the end.

Baekhyun: *puts on disguise* “OMO. Baek killed your fish?! No, I have no idea where he went.”

Kai: “He jumped out of the bowl I swear.”

Xiumin: *runs away* “It wasn’t me it wasn’t me it wasn’t me it wasn’t me”

D.O: “Now that the fish is out of the way, she’ll have more time for me. MWAHAHAHAHAH”

Kris: *You walk in the room* “Oh hey I didn’t see you there sexy.”

*You notice the fish belly up*


Chen: “You think I killed the fish? How dumb do you think I am?”

*You believe him and walk out*

“Put me in a drama now.”

Chanyeol: *fake cries* “He was such a nice fish. He listened to everything I said and didn’t talk back.”

Lay: “Fish can’t do the backstroke? Oh…”

Sehun: “Please don’t be mad at me.”

*You forgive him and look away*


*I’m back guys! I know I haven’t posted in a while but now that I have new hardware (I love Christmas) we should be all set and ready to go. Fighting!

-Admin K

The Signs as Things my Friend Mariah has said in Casual Conversation
  • Aries: Just physically overpower you're emotionally unstable friend.
  • Taurus: ...only if you had a giant dildo as your only friend, and everyone else pretended it was a person cause they felt sorry for you.
  • Gemini: I fell headfirst into the bottomless bin of $5 movies at Walmart.
  • Cancer: He had so many monitors running porn at the same time that he overloaded the circuit breaker.
  • Leo: and, therefore, we can take off your pants
  • Virgo: Your grandma fucks dead people????
  • Libra: Or you could just chop all of your hair off in a fit of adolescent rage.
  • Scorpio: Don't worry. It has to do with the careful seduction of dorm furniture.
  • Sagittarius: Just keep your best friend's skeleton on your windowsill.
  • Capricorn: Get your mind out of the gutter and the food in your mouth.
  • Aquarius: Jesus the Dildo Seller, 2k16
  • Pisces: it's an unabortable hydrofetus