younger & dumber

anonymous asked:

oh no... poor Phiacs! If it's not a sensitive topic would you tell us what happened to make you unable to speak?

p#!-cs doesn’+ m!nd s#-r!ng +#e s+ory

+#o some de+-!ls -re #-zy for #!m

#e remembers be!ng younger -nd dumber

#e -nd #um!l!s #-d jus+ re+urned #ome

so +#-+ p#!-cs could work on some of #!s projec+s

p#!-cs loves work!ng on #!s med!c-l prowess -nd -s suc# spends - lo+ of +!me perfec+!ng med!c-l !ns+rumen+s

+#o…

p#!-cs c-nno+ remember w#-+ +#!s one w-s supposed +o do

m-ybe +o #elp w!+# coug#!ng ?

or +o me-sure d!fferen+ pulses ?

w#-+ever !+ w-s !+ #-dn’+ been +es+ed ye+

-nd p#!-cs would no+ expose o+#ers +o un+es+ed m-+er!-ls

so #e -lw-ys does +#e respons!ble +#!ng -nd +es+s +#em on #!mself

!n good news

! h-dn’+ pu+ !+ on fully w#en !+ exploded

v!olen+ly

-nd +#ere w-s no one else -round +o be #ur+ by +#e bl-s+

!’m gl-d ! never used !+ on -no+#er person

:{

cuz ow

archiveofourown.org
Just to Break My Own Fall - Linsky - Hockey RPF [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hockey RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Characters: Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews
Additional Tags: Pining, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Trump Tower, 2016 Stanley Cup Playoffs, Jonny gets a clue, Nobody likes Trump
Summary:

Patrick used to play a game with himself, when he was younger and considerably dumber: see how close he could get to Jonny, for how long, and not do anything to give himself away.

chantgirl  asked:

Hey my dear! I don't have a specific fic to ask about, but I love reading about everyone's writing process, and especially yours because I find you an excellent teacher! As for a question, and you may have answered this elsewhere, in which case I'll just say Hi! :) But what is it about Root and Shaw and their world, that made you want to start writing fic for them?

Hi! Great question!

I think I found this pairing so compelling for a few reasons.

1. They’re both brilliant. I’m always intrigued by brilliant women.

2. I don’t relate to most of what they go through–I’m emotive, reasonably well-adjusted, and happily married, and have never dealt with an AI war. But I do relate to falling in love despite oneself (in younger, dumber years) and being attracted to someone else’s brilliance (every day with my wife!). The things I don’t understand attract me as a writer; the things I do, as a human.

3. I felt compelled to know more about them, particularly Root (which is why I wrote my way through her teenage years). 

4. They didn’t get enough time together, enough space, enough tenderness. I wanted to give them a little.

Thanks for asking!

  • My mom: Saturday is Earth Day. We should pick up some nice flowers and plant them around the yard...
  • A younger, dumber, more innocent me picturing two hours of standing at the table on our lanai potting marigolds: sure
  • *Four hours of digging up and repotting fucking TREES, hand-pulling weeds, trimming infected bushes with a HAND SAW*
  • Me, covered in dirt and plant fungicide, my jeans soaked through and mud clotted, my sinuses full of 5 dollar-a-bag potting soil, the indents of rose thorns in my gloves and the soles of my shoes, DIRT IN MY HAIR: Fuck Earth

I don’t know what it says about me, but I enjoy my fancy car so much these days because it was bought during a time that I wasn’t buried with medical and student debt, and reminds me that younger/dumber me was still able to get ahold of income so I’ll be back there again eventually– back with a house and some savings. Eventually.

4

I need to drop some shit. So like, Eyeball definitely seems like the best of the rubies to me and the most experienced. I think that the reason she gets so upset when interactions like the above happen around her is because she is never noticed. She is one of the oldest rubies we know of and yet she is under a commander who is dumber and younger than her. It just seems so unfair to Eyeball. Because whenever she is around rare gems like Sapphire and “Jasper”, she gets upset to see them not noticing her. This leads me to thinking she will get a redemption. But only her. The way she will be won over is by getting the respect and love she never gets. She is never noticed for her experience because she is just a ruby and if she spends time with the Crystal Gems, she might end up realizing her worth after all. Then Lapis and Peridot can adopt her and happily ever after amiright??!?!?!?

anonymous asked:

I remember a friend in the hotel industry warning me about Cosby close to 30 years ago (I was younger, slimmer, & much dumber). It was known. There are others known now in much the same way. Whisper campaigns go around. But that, in smoe respects is all over. I know of a prominent lecturer in the sciences who's a serial harasser at minimum & very likely a rapist, but mention it, & the defenses begin by men who admire him for being a "ladies man" & attack the women. It's all over.

The women meanwhile, warn each other, and are careful not to be alone w him. Ugh. If the biz is worse, it’s the desperation & the competition that enable some bad things to happen and drive people to tolerate things they shouldn’t. I’ve had a lot of fun in this biz, but it’s really not something anybody should sell their soul for.

It is.  I know a similar man in the humanities that would be described just like that only it’s not “ladies man” but “eccentric genius” because my guy is supposedly thinking on such a high level that he doesn’t think like mere mortals.  He is by the way, in no means, neuroatyprical.  He just likes to get young asian female grad students by themselves.

It actually took a group of lesbian and queer women to go to file a university complaint on him because he knew how to pick his victims so they wouldn’t report.  We actually got a sympathetic hearing from the university and promises they’ve kept to not allow him in any supervisory roles but since none of us were the actual victims and none of his victims would speak they couldn’t break his tenor.  I actually had the feeling the deans desperately wished they could.  And of course as soon as he steps outside the university and goes to conferences…

I also know of at least one name actor who has gotten more than one 16 year old black out drunk and raped them.  And every time I see him get cast in something new I just want to go live in the woods as a hermit. 

Now in our culture, we’ve been trained for individual differences to stand out. So you look at each person and immediately see brighter, dumber, older, younger, richer, poorer, and we make all these dimensional distinctions, put them in categories, and treat them that way. And we get so that we only see others as separate from ourselves, and the ways in which they’re separate.

And one of the dramatic characteristics of experience is being with another person and suddenly seeing the ways in which they are like you, not different from you. And experiencing the fact that that which is essence within you and which is essence within me is indeed one. The understanding that there is no other. It is all one.

—  Zeitgeist: Richard Alpert on Oneness

following up on that shadow hazing headcanon, i have a few hazing ideas for other new members of other flights. usually it’s just younger, dumber dragons doing these initiations and older and wiser dragons think they’re dangerous and dumb and discourage them, but that doesn’t stop them young punks from being stupid.

wind - strap down the newcomers’ wings and throw them in the twisting crescendo and see how long they last

water - toss them in the deep water and watch them swim back to shore

plague - sneaking up on the oldest, pimpliest, and grumpiest member of the clan and licking a boil, gross.

ice - POLAR PLUNGE

shadow - relentless tricks and pranks for the first few weeks, but they might be encouraged to spend a night alone in the woods.

lightning - PEE ON AN ELECTRIC FENCE

fire - dancing across hot coals

nature - highly ritualized and involves climbing trees and ingesting…shady plants….

arcane - because arcane dragons are considered weak nerds, young punk teen arcane dragons have the meanest hazing in order to tell the newcomer that yo we arcane dragons is TOUGH. sometimes you jump off the highest cliff into the water and wait until the last second to fly away, or you have to race as fast as you can through the craggy rocks. think of that one scene in how to train your dragon, or that ice dodging episode in a:tla.

light - i dunno, staring into the sun for as long as you can? or maybe stealing something from shadow flight.

earth - the earth flight is a bunch of nice crusty old guys, they don’t do hazing. they have so few members that they don’t want to scare any newcomers away.

The Big Long List of Things I’ve Learned in My 20′s
  • You can’t take anything personally. No one is thinking about you. They’re too busy worrying what you think of them.
  • Success is 5% timing, 5% who you know, 90% hard work.
  • Don’t quit Facebook. You’ll only look stupid when you come back
  • Don’t buy clothes that are rayon, ramie, or more than 50% polyester, unless you want them to be uncomfortable or fall apart.
  • Use carpet cleaner to get out stains in your clothes.
  • Even if you don’t have money, spend what you can on good bras.
  • One nice, basic piece from JCrew is better than ten pieces from Forever 21.
  • Whipping cream in your coffee is amazing, and worth every calorie.
  • Sometimes a job is just a job, and that’s ok.
  • Always find value in everything you do. You’ll be much happier that way.
  • Never be above any type of paying work. EVER.
  • If you don’t feel like finishing your drink, just don’t.
  • Those people who get under your skin, that you just can’t quite shake. You probably never will get rid of them completely, but it will get easier.
  • Liking someone’s Instagram photo means something.
  • Don’t get a pet unless you are actually ready to accept the time and financial commitment. You’re probably not ready.
  • Go to a music festival at least once so you can see that it’s fun, but also really gross and exhausting.
  • Call your parents often.
  • If they don’t text back…they don’t want to talk to you. And more importantly, you definitely don’t want to talk to them.
  • Find mentors. 
  • Always be solution oriented. No one wants to hear you complain, except your very best friends, and that’s only because they’d like for you to return the courtesy at some point.
  • If you keep getting yourself in different versions of the same situation. You might want to look at who the common denominator is.
  • Yes, you can throw away your TI-89 graphing calculator. Sure, it was expensive, but no you won’t ever need it again.
  • You don’t ever have to sound stupid if you take 30 seconds to reconsider or research. Always allow yourself 30 seconds.
  • Just keep a pair of headphones in all your bags.
  • Open an IRA. 
  • Understand the grave importance of long-term savings.
  • The best nights are always the ones where you got dragged out against your will.
  • Talk to strangers.
  • Order off the cocktail menu.
  • Trying to be skinny is very exhausting and not delicious or satisfying. Also NO ONE CARES.
  • There is always going to be someone younger and dumber. Conversely, there will always be someone older and wiser.
  • You can stalk your ex, as long as you are self-aware about how unhealthy it is.
  • Yes, LinkedIn DOES matter!
  • Never burn a bridge, no matter what kind of troll is on the other end.
  • Don’t let your credit card balance go beyond $500.
  • Go out of your way to make plans with friends. It’s the only way you will see them.
  • Travel as much as your budget will allow.
  • Work late. Work as much as you can.
  • If you’re on the fence about bringing a sweater…just bring it.
  • People in power will treat you like shit. Just nod and smile.
  • Bring your lunch, but go out to happy hour.
  • It’s easier to feel sorry for someone than be angry.
  • There are no bad people, just bad behavior.
  • Seek out a basic knowledge of wine.
  • Clean out your closet often. If you haven’t worn it in a year, it’s time to let it go.
  • Try to read the books you buy instead of stacking them all ¼ read on your nightstand.
  • Landlines are very useful and highly recommended.
  • Invest in your workspace.
  • The more you try to control your life, the less happy you’ll be it.
  • Always be adjusting your expectations…for everything.
  • It’s ok to meet your soulmate at 19 and never breakup.
  • It’s ok to be in a long term-relationship.
  • Don’t worry that you will die alone if you make it to 30 still single.
  • If you don’t like your situation, it’s up to you to change it.
  • No one is going to hold your hand.
  • NEVER say that you don’t have the tools or resources to do your job. It’s no one’s responsibility to lay it all out for you. Figure it out.
  • Don’t work at an unpaid internship for more than six months.
  • If you think you might need to go to the doctor, JUST GO.
  • Always have health insurance.
  • Set up an automatic deposit into a savings account, no matter how small of an amount it is. It’s just good to get in the habit.
  • If you find yourself in a bakery, order a pastry.
  • Just split the check evenly. Honestly, you’ll end up paying the same or less as what you owe, and no one will be stuck paying too much.
  • If you want to buy something but are hesitant because it looks like everything in our closet…that’s a good sign. It means you’ll actually wear it. 
  • Invest in travel sized bottles.
  • Yes it does matter if you buy the expensive shampoo.
  • Get to know your neighbors unless it’s a super skeezy building.
  • Remembering small facts about someone goes a long way.
  • Work out for your sanity, not vanity.
  • It only takes one time to realize one-night stands are terrible.
  • You’re old enough to buy your parents real gifts for their birthdays and holidays.
  • Always tip.
  • Keep boxes of mac and cheese in the house at all times.
  • Drink water. More water than you think you need to drink.
  • Not every idea is a blog/podcast.
  • If you walk away from something you want to buy and you are still thinking about it two weeks later. Go back and buy the damn thing. Life is too short.
  • Take your vacation time, even if it’s to clean your apartment and watch TV.
  • It’s OK if your passion in life doesn’t involve acquiring Twitter followers or being “creative.”
  • It’s totally OK and sometimes necessary to just take a paycheck.
  • Try foods you think you hate every year or two. 
  • Your hormones WILL change. Be ready for puberty 2.0.
  • Wear your retainers. If they don’t fit, be a grown up and get new ones.
  • No one is having a good time.
  • Everyone is freaked out.
  • You don’t need cable, but it’s pretty freaking nice.
  • Invest in your friendships, even if it means a long drive or even a plane ride.
  • Try not to post everything on Facebook…some moments are better left unshared.
  • Don’t be scared of 30. It’s actually pretty damn great.

anonymous asked:

What do you do with morally reprehensible books left over from when you were younger and dumber? I mean, as much as I appreciate the irony, I don't want to donate Ayn Rand to a library where some impressionable teenager might read it.

Maybe just underline every idiotic sentence and draw and write the word “dumb” next to in in the margin, and then, when the entire book is underlined and you’ve written “dumb” like 50,000 times, set it on fire.

Kermit’s New Girlfriend

I just can’t even with this

While the audience of the 1980s might’ve been filled with the fear of powerful women and willing to sympathise with the “plight” of the lesser men who loved them (or at least profited handsomely off them) – and even understood and supported men’s urge to date their exes’ younger, dumber Plasticine lookalikes – the situation has changed in 2015.

Has it really, though? I mean, look at the plight of Miss Piggy:

Nowadays, Miss Piggy is a beloved feminist icon who covers Bitch Better Have My Money and Fuck the Pain Away (with equal aplomb) to applause from fans both new and old, and Kermit’s the behind-the-scenes wet noodle still whining about how hard it is to be green while picking up goodness knows how many of Hollywood’s near-infinite star-chasers.

And yet she’s kicked to the curb as soon as the new hot young thing comes along. Obviously, I don’t want to slut-shame Denise, Kermit’s new flame. But she should really think about the example she’s setting here. When did this

become hotter than this

SMDH.

I give the transgression of replacing one muppet with a different muppet in a fictional relationship with another muppet four problematics.

There is this family dynamic that my family has that I’m not entirely ok with. My family disregards my opinions, feelings, and ideas because I was/am a minor/younger. They seem to think that because I’m younger I’m automatically dumber. I have literally been diagnosed as being depressed, but I’m constantly told I don’t know what “real” pain is. My mom and I got into a fight one time and she told me to go hide in my room and cut myself because of my past self harm issues. My father constantly tells me to “shut the fuck up” when I’m defending myself against my moms insults over my septum ring because it “ruins my face” she says. She’s said that to me everyday since I got it pierced 8 MONTHS AGO. My mom and I get into arguments that I, for the most part, don’t start over insults she throws my way. We argue often. If I defend myself I’m the one being disrespectful. I’m told that I should be more grateful for the parents I have because they provide for me financially. The last really rememberable example was when my mom said “at least we were never homeless and you always had something to eat because that’s what parents do when they love their children.” However I have a friend who was homeless for year with her mom and younger brother, but not of her mom doing. Her shitty drunk step dad left them and took all the money but apparently only loving parents can and/or will provide. I’m glad my mom didn’t give me an older brother, because knowing that they made my very anti-black, black uncle man of her side of the family, they would put another kind of man’s word over mine any day. I respect the fact that my parents have provided for me financially, but that’s only half of parenting. I still need my parents to be there for me emotionally and to respect me as a person. How they treat me has damaged me and our relationship and I’m afraid I’ll never have a good relationship with them.

Harry Imagine: Stay

——————————————————-

“Come on babe,” he patted a spot on the duvet, lying sprawled out on his back.

“Mm no. No. No,” I shook my head, arms crossed and pouting, pretending to be upset with him.

“Pleaseeeeeeeee,” he propped himself up on one elbow, returning my faux pout. “Don’t give me that look.”

“No,” I said, turning my face into the collar of his button down shirt I was wearing with the sleeves pushed up, trying to hide a smile. Harry managed to catch my eye and he couldn’t manage to suppress the smile that spread across his face.

“Love,” he said, slowly sitting completely upright on the bed. I watched him, my chest feeling like it was expanding and swelling with happiness and warmth as I took in the sunlight falling through the window and on to the bed, bathing the whole room, the cat, and him, dust motes floating in the air. The scene in front of me feels like a dream, too soft and fragile to be real. “Love, love, love,” he called me. I tip toed away, raising an eyebrow at him with a questioning look.

I bit my bottom lip, holding eye contact with him. My tongues flashed out and flicked across my lips, tempting Harry into reaching out to grab me, laughing. I made a lunge for the bathroom; his button down I was wearing flipping up while I giggled. Following and still laughing he reached out again and this time caught me.

“Yes! Victory is mine! She is mine!” Harry yelled after scooping me up, making me throw my head back and laughing loudly. “I win!” he said, so I nipped playfully at his arm, making him yelp. “I don’t think so!” He lightly dropped me on to the bed, burying me in a pile of white sheets and a white duvet, disrupting the cat’s nap.

“Meanie!” I said, sticking my tongue out at him and then turning to hiding within the nest of blankets.

“Me? Mean!? I think you mean you’re a meanie,” he said before jumping and landing on top of me, curling around the mass of sheets I was tucked in. I wriggled in protest, his weight making it a little hard to breathe, half due to being crush by Harry who was considerably bigger than me and half due to weight that was a concrete promise he was real.

“Get off!” I said, trying to push him off me.

“What was that?” he wiggled his butt down. “Did you hear something?” he asked the cat, still curled on the bed, who just gave him a disinterested look and went back to grooming herself. “Of you didn’t!”

“You’re a bloody idiot Harry!” I giggled.

“You know, I think I do hear something you good for nothing cat!” the cat flicked her tail and stretched before she jumped off the bed and left the room. “A sassy, rude something! That’s what I hear!” he flipped me over without warning and then started to tickle me.

“No! No!” I laughed so loud it was nearly a scream, followed by a softer quieter sigh. He thought she might be glowing with happiness, knowing he would be if he could. I squirmed wildly, my limbs breaking out from under his button down and the sheets.

“No? No? No? Yes! Yes!” he slipped his fingers into my hair, covering my face in kisses until I was grinning so broadly that he couldn’t help but to smile too.

“Come here,” I said, wrapping both arms around his neck and both legs around his waist. He stood up and she kept clinging to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck, kissing his collarbones. Carefully placing soft kisses up his neck, I stopped and put her forehead against his.

“Hi,” he whispered, eyes taking in her whole face, noticing the smattering of freckles around her nose and that her thin upper lip was red and chewed at. I cracked into an open mouth smile when he kissed my forehead lightly. I slowly blinked, eyes wide and my lashes fluttering against my cheeks, clinging to him tightly before he stood up.

“Hi,” I breathed out, “hi, hello, good morning,” I giggled. Sliding my fingers into his hair and tugging at it lightly. My eyes dashed around Harry’s face as I arched my back, grinding against him just enough for him to moan. Grinning, he smacked at my ass, playfully spinning us in circles and making her hair land in their faces. “Stop!” I said, “I was admiring.”

“Here, let me help you,” he sat down in the armchair by the window, lacing his fingers together behind my back.

“Thank you,” I put my hands on either side of his face, pushing his hair out of the way. He was gorgeous. He didn’t seem like he could be real at all, let alone here, with me tucked to his chest. I buried my face against his neck. He smelled like rain on hot asphalt and grass and laundry detergent.

Feeling the smooth and constant rise and fall of her lungs, he squeezed her, liking how he could feel how warm she was, hear her heartbeat and simple sense her very existence as she lived quietly in his arms. 

Foolishly Harry wondered if he held her close enough for long enough, they would simply begin to exist within the same space, and he smiled knowing that he would be content for the rest of his life if they stayed like this forever.

“Back to bed?” Harry suggested, breaking the comfortable silence within the apartment, in which time seemed to pass without any concern for the city noise outside the windowpanes.

“Mm,” was all I mumbled, feeling warm and sleepy.

“Bed it is then,” Carefully he tucked me in, duvet pulled up to my chin, watching me blink sleepily. He slid into bed beside me, wrapping himself around me.

“I love you,” I whispered, barely audible above the sounds of London outside the flat.

“I love you,” he offered back, knowing that this time he meant it, that everything that had occurred between the two of them beyond the limits of London, when they had been younger and dumber. They had forgiven each other, but was forgiven but not forgotten. He didn’t think she’d ever forget and he knew he’d never forgive himself.

“Haz, are you going to stay this time?” I asked.

“I will, my love. I promise I’ll stay,” he answered. The cat meowed loudly before curling back up on her corner of the bed.

and the thing that really scares me is that I’ve done shit like that to some extent, I’ve made homes outta women when I was dating and I would go and talk to other girls (I wouldn’t physically cheat but I’d flirt) at the same time that I’d be in a relationship and while this was ages ago when I was younger and dumber I still did those things, I was still put in the position to do that to them. I still acted how he acted to my mom. and it just makes me feel like actual shit because I’ve been that guy too. I’ve been the person I just warned yall about and that’s at the core of my self hate. granted I’ve learned a lot since then but those instincts and bad habits never just die do they? they linger around. and that makes me scared for myself because it can make or break my future and that’s why I say I don’t wanna end up like my dad. some fuckin womanizer getting his kicks out of women, I refuse to become that person.

Follow My Voice - Chapter 2

Chapter 1  |  AO3

Notes:
Thank you all so much for reading and for the positive feedback!  We’ve decided to post a chapter of this fic every single day for your reading pleasure.  It is completed, so we’ll be posting every day for the next five days, not including today.  So enjoy that and know that we’re writing more… like, right now.  After I hit post.  Enjoy and let us know what you think!  Duh.

There is finally no remnant of the show on his face or in his heart; he’s wiped clean of the glitter and the brash emotion he showcases, and it’s time to punch the clock.  He steps outside; he lights up Broadway with his presence and gratitude.  The crowd is as big as it’s always been, forty-five minutes is hardly enough time, but he’s persistent in trying to get through to everyone.  When he finishes, he heads north and in some distant part of his mind, he’s sure someone will notice he’s going the opposite of his normal route.  They are masters of observation.  It’s impressive when it’s not scary. 

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