young struggle

Just got back home from Day6 in LA, omg I’ll do a longer review if people’d like but

so worth it, just being able to see them all doing what they love and seeing how hard they worked

- dowoon surprised me by speaking English as much as he could, his deep voice, and all his secret smiles while playing and in his element

- wonpil just being silly and bubbly, but just so greasy all over Jae like “I’m so happy to be in the place that Jae hyung talks so much about and loves so much”

- young k struggling with English at times, but still super hype and making sure everyone had a good time. also just casually looking drop dead delicious

- sungjin being just such a sweetheart and helping staff move stuff, and being such a meme with his expressions, but also so so handsome and gorgeous while he’s singing or listening to his members talking

- and goD Jae. Jae legit almost made me cry. like, my parents met in LA when they came over from China. so, me moving to LA after graduation felt like a coming home or a return to roots in a way that being china never could. so when he said all that like being in LA is real, and it’s his true debut I just. a primal aching and settling inside the bone marrow and heart muscle tissue I’m not okay

yeah I’m emotional and will need at least 6-7 business days, but god, it has taken solid top 3 concerts I’ve ever been to 😭👌🏼💕

anonymous asked:

You know Niall said he wrote Mirrors not about himself but about young ladies that struggle with themselves sometimes, to put light into the matter and say that they aren't on their own, and to be honest when I first hear the song through a shitty concert livestream I cried because yeah, it hitted close to home, it still moves me now after hearing it so many times. That's how you make a respectful song about women that resonates with the public, and yet Harry is the woke cupcake somehow...

.

The idea behind that (Mirrors) is a lot of young girls kinda struggle with themselves and have things going on. And I thought that I would like to shed a little light on it and kinda let them know they aren’t on their own out there.
—  Mirrors, that was one record you didn’t write about yourself, but you made up characters in your head, right? - Zach Sang
6

“be good to her…”

Let’s flip things around, shall we?

All right, y’all seem to love hate me for my post about everyone’s reactions to Peter’s death, but a lot of you are telling me that Tony’s gonna die instead - and you know what, I agree. I am terrified of that, because Peter has the protection of sequels - beyond Avengers 4, Tony doesn’t. Also, I appear to be “surviving” the wait by imagining character deaths and y’all will share my pain. So in that case, what do I wanna see?

I want it to be protecting Peter. If my baby’s gonna go out, it’s going to be while being a dad because if there’s one death Tony absolutely cannot survive, it’s Peter’s.

I want to see Peter realize what Tony is about to do. I want to hear him beg Tony not to in his raw young voice, struggle to get Tony of the way.

I want Tony to hold his position, his mask closed so Peter can’t see how terrified he is, until the blow lands.

I want Rhodey and Strange to watch it all in horror, but they can’t do anything about it, not in time, not if they want to live to see Peter through the battle, ,so they just jump in to provide cover as Peter starts to react.

I want Peter tear the entire helmet off and start on Tony’s armor so he can get to the wound, stop the bleeding, anything to save his third father figure.

I want Tony to grab Peter’s hands and hold them tight, whispering for Peter to stop, just stop.

I want Peter to obey, but he’s crying and stammering “I can’t lose another dad.”

I want Tony to smile, weak but genuinely smiling, and say that he couldn’t have had a better son.

I want Tony to die smiling because he died protecting who he loved.

I want Tony to die smiling because he’s finally free of the PTSD and the criticism and the constant fear for his loved ones’ lives.

I want Tony to die saying that he loves Peter, the best son any man could have.

I want Peter to smile through his tears because he’s wanted to hear that for two years.

I want Peter to whisper “Tony?” when Tony’s eyes slide shut.

I want Peter to cry “Dad!” and start shaking him when he doesn’t respond.

I want Strange to pull Peter away, his voice strong and steady, but his hands are shaking like earthquakes, and the cloak is trying to hug them both.

I want Rhodey to say nothing at all because he needs to be strong for Peter, but underneath his mask he’s just drowning in tears because that is his lifelong best friend lying dead on the ground.

I want Steve to stop and stare because the man he’s always accused of being selfish just sacrificed himself without a moment’s thought and died with only Peter on his mind.

I want Bucky to falter because that’s three Starks he couldn’t save, because maybe Tony didn’t die by his hand, but he wasn’t in the right place to protect him, to protect his friend’s son.

I want Gamora and Quill to run over, stabbing and shooting anything that tries to stop them, and drop to their knees and give Peter a pep talk because yes, they’ve been there, but Peter can’t give in to the grief now.

I want Peter to snap out of it and look up, his eyes full of icy rage, and pull his mask back on. And then, in the coldest possible voice, in a voice that should never come from a teenager, I want him to say “Activate Instant Kill” as those glowing red pinpricks zero in on Thanos.

I want Wanda to sense his intentions and scream out a warning, trying to fling out a scarlet shield to pin Peter down, but he slides beneath it.

I want Sam to fly in to try to catch him, but Peter only uses him as a sticking point for his webs.

I want Wong to try to divert him with portals, but Peter dodges every single one.

I want the adults to share a look and a nod and charge towards Thanos behind Peter, because maybe they shouldn’t stop him. Because maybe, in his rage, with his powers and tech, with a hoard of others to back him up-

Maybe Peter can win.

And if he can’t, they’ll still fight to keep him alive.

And if they can’t do that, they won’t let him die alone and unavenged.

Advice for Incoming College Freshman

When I first started college a year ago, I had a very little idea of the year to come.  I knew it would be nothing like the movies and if anything I was hoping to make some new friends.  In nearly a months thousands upon thousands of others like me will be taking their first step into college feeling the same as I did.  So I am here to give my five pieces of advice that will be good to know during your first week of school.

Let’s begin:

1. Don’t panic on move in day.

I was rare among my friends where instead of going to a college close to home, I went somewhere two hours away from my house.  It had always been a dream of mine to get out there and try and become someone new.  But when move in day came I was a mess.  I cried when I said goodbye to my cat, when we left my street, and when the signs came up that we were getting closer to the college.  But I learned that it’s okay to cry.  It’s okay to feel emotion when you leave a home you’ve been at most of your life.  But unlike me, I had many friends who did not cry on move in day.  It’s okay if you do or your don’t, neither makes you better than the other.

Nothing is going to go smoothly on move in day.  Someone will get lost or something may break.  You may unpack your things in the wrong room.  You may realize you left something vitally important at home that you can’t go a day without.  It’s okay.  Forgetting something is normal.  I know my mother was mailing little things I had forgotten at home the day after I left.  Just because you don’t have those things now doesn’t mean the world is going to end.  Your college dream will not be crushed.

Basically my advice is: take deep breaths throughout the day.  Someone is going to drive you crazy or make you upset.  Don’t let that get to you.  This is the beginning to something awesome.

2. Don’t be afraid to eat alone.

At the college I attend, I knew no one there.  A few kids from my high school went but I didn’t know them well enough to become friends with them.  I was put into a suite which meant that I lived with seven other girls(not as terrifying as you would think.)  So when dinner time came around I found myself lost.  My roommate had gone off with some girls she had met and I knew no one else in my suite.  So I went by myself to the dining hall and ate alone.  Of course I was texting and snapchating my friends so I wasn’t completely alone.  But as I looked around the hall, I realized there were a lot of other kids there too, eating alone and looking nervous. 

Eating alone turned out to be a good thing because as I left, a girl in my building stopped me on the way out.  She remembered me from the hall meeting and worked for Housing.  She said “I saw you eating alone and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me and a few of my friends to go see a movie on the lawn.”  I was surprised she asked me but I gladly excepted.  I didn’t really talk to that girl again but it was a nice start to a great semester.

Advice: Do what’s comfortable for you.  I decided to eat alone because I wanted to face my fears.  I knew people who stayed in their rooms all night because that was comfortable for them.  Whatever works for you do it.

3. There is a 50% chance you will become friends with your roommate

This is always a complicated because there are so many people who have so many different situations.  My roommate and I were good friends during the first semester but by the time the second semester ended we barely spoke.  A lot of our problems were miscommunication and both of us were too stubborn to try and fix things after a long semester of fighting.

This may not be your situation.  I know many people who have kept in touch with their old roommates and are still good friends.  I also know people who can barely speak their name without wanting to throw up.  Don’t let this get you down.  Everyone is different in their way of communicating and discovering who they are.

Advice: Keep communication open.  If you aren’t comfortable with what your roommate is doing, say something.  Bring a mutual friend that can help if that makes you more comfortable.  But also vice versa.  If your roommate comes to you with a problem she/he has, listen and try to compromise.  Communication is key.

4. Leave your room

It is very tempting to hide in your room all weekend and watch videos on Netflix or Youtube.  But hiding in your room is something your shouldn’t do.  Try to look up events that are happening on campus.  If you’re an Introvert like me, the thought of socializing makes you tense.  But try and build the courage to go to at least one event.  This will make you so much more comfortable with the people around you and get you use to the flow of the college.

Many clubs try their advertising during the first week of school.  Get yourself out there and try to find something that suits your eye.  Most colleges have a huge variety when it comes to the clubs and organizations they have.  Maybe you’ll find the one that suits you best.

Advice: Leave your room.  You won’t regret it.

5. The first year is the hardest

My first year of college was a lot of ups and downs.  I like to focus on the ups but also remembering how I got to the downs.  No one’s first year is going to be perfect.  There are so many tests, projects, and speeches that seem so far in the future but come so fast.  If you can, try to make at least one friend in every class.  That way you have someone that can give you advice or even help you along the way.

I was lucky enough that my close friend at college now had the exact same schedule as me during our first semester.  We have become so close since and I don’t regret the day we started talking. 

Finally I would like to say that college isn’t for everyone.  It’s okay if after your first semester you say “This isn’t right for me.” or even after your first year.  The first year is a trial period to figure out who you are and who you want to become.  I hope this helps anyone out there who may be stressing over college right now.

Till we meet again :)

French Lesbian Films: Recommendations

Water Lilies (2007)

Summer in a new suburb outside Paris. Nothing to do but look at the ceiling. Marie, Anne and Floriane are 15. Their paths cross in the corridors at the local swimming pool, where love and desire make a sudden, dramatic appearance.

Breathe (2014)

It is tale of two teenage girls who develop an intense and dangerous friendship. Charlie is a 17-year-old girl tortured by doubt, disillusionment and solitude. When the beautiful and self-confident Sarah arrives and the two become inseparable, Charlie is thrilled to feel alive, fulfilled and invincible in their intense friendship. But as Sarah tires of Charlie and begins to look elsewhere for a new friend, their friendship takes an ominous turn.

Summertime (2015)

There was little chance, in the year 1971, that Carole, a Paris Spanish teacher and feminist militant, would ever meet Delphine, the daughter of a couple of Limousin farmers. But they did meet and not only did they come across each other but they fell passionately in love as well. Unfortunately, Delphine’s father fell victim to a stroke, and the young woman had no other choice but to go back home to help her mother run the family farm. Carole, who was so smitten by Delphine, couldn’t stand the estrangement and decided to join her lover at the farm. But could feminism and lesbianism easily be transferred to the countryside and its standards of the time…?

Blue Is the Warmest Color (2013)

Adèle’s life is changed when she meets Emma, a young woman with blue hair, who will allow her to discover desire and to assert herself as a woman and as an adult. In front of others, Adèle grows, seeks herself, loses herself, and ultimately finds herself through love and loss.

Secret Things (2002)

Two young women find themselves struggling to survive in Paris, street-wise Nathalie, a stripper, and naïve Sandrine, a barmaid. Together, they discover that sex can be used to their advantage, and pleasure.

Therese and Isabelle (1968)

Two young girls experience awakening sexuality in the heated atmosphere of a Swiss girls’ boarding school.

The Page Turner (2006)

The girl Mélanie Prouvost is an aspirant pianist and her parents make her application to the Conservatory. During the entrance exam, she begins with a great performance but she is distracted by one member of the admittance board, Ariane, and she fails. Years later, Mélanie, unrecognized by Ariane, becomes her page turner. And thus begins her carefully planned revenge against the woman that destroyed her dreams.

Les Biches (1968)

Architect Paul Thomas insinuates himself into the relationship of two bisexual women living in a St. Tropez villa with tragic consequences.

Things to keep in mind WRT: Joey WLW subtext and her conversation with Xefros

The year is 1994 in Joey’s universe.

In 1994, LGBT issues were almost universally kept completely hushhush from kids. For example, “Ellen” was taken off TV and cancelled after Ellen DeGeneres came out, in 1998.

Even in the 2000′s, while great strides were made in open conversation about LGBT issues, I remember it was still VERY taboo to even acknowledge as existing. I was in high school through 2006-2010 and people would still whisper the word “gay” under their breath.

In the 90′s, the internet wasn’t really a thing. You had online bulletin boards that would take 2 hours to get onto and often forbade any talks of politics, sexuality, or the like. The only place you could find information on LGBT topics was the library, in old encyclopedias possibly from the 70′s classifying homosexuality as a mental disease, IF (and big IF) you could find anything at all. 

This persisted even into the early 2000′s. It improved somewhat during what I call the Forum Renaissance wherein everyone had their own more or less functioning web forum and were free to write whatever they wanted in whatever context they liked without having to cowtow to a company’s rules, but that didn’t start until around 2003 on.

Now back to Joey. 1994. Joey seems to live in a small town, with very little of a social ring (just her brother’s friends, apparently), and therefore very limited access to information.

Joey is 14 years old, clearly having trouble at school from her diary entries, and clearly very, very lonely. Joey, like many young WLW, particularly young lesbians (although not limited to just lesbians, of course), doesn’t seem to realize that being attracted to women is even an option.

This is a concept that resonates completely with me, in fact. I didn’t realize I didn’t have to force myself to like boys until I MET someone who was in a relationship with someone of the same gender. However EVEN THEN I still tried, because I was 13, and struggling, and wanted to be liked, and very very very afraid of how people would see me because I was already being bullied and just added fuel to the fire.

Joey’s questioning of Xefros actually echoes a conversation I, in fact, had once. Her quiet contemplation right afterwards is really telling.

Joey hadn’t realized, until this moment, that being in a relationship with someone of the same gender was an option. Joey’s life has been one of sheltered heteronormativity.

She accepted it very quickly. Now she can blossom. Maybe she’ll have a Thing with Xefros. Who knows? I sure don’t. Perhaps Joey is bi. Perhaps Xefros and she will become moirails. WHO KNOWS.

All I know is, her being a WLW is not subtext. At this point, it’s blatantly Text. I do believe Joey is a great realistic WLW character as well, and one that young struggling WLW might be able to relate to if they’re going through the same things as she is.

I know I related to her a lot. She reminds me of me at that age.

This is not Hiveswap’s team being homophobic or what-the-fuck-ever, and it certainly isn’t ‘qu**rbaiting’. It’s literally being realistic for the era, and I have full faith that they WILL address these issues people have over the course of the continuing story. A young LGBT character is allowed to question themselves and society on their own time. That’s part of what makes Joey so realistic.

If you constantly post "down with cis" on a site that is populated with young teens that struggle to fit in irl, then you are partly responsible for those kids trying to fit the "trans" label. Not only does this hurt the genuine trans community as the definition of trans gets warped, it fucks up these kids. They go through the pain of coming out without needing to. Some even get hormones when they're not dysphoric. And all so they can feel accepted.

Stop fucking posting “die cis scum”

Final preview for my @risquezine​ piece

Y-you should concider buying the zine. It’ll be worth it for sure!! ╰(◉ᾥ◉)╯!!