young philadelphia

  • Kaldur'ahm: Damn it, damn it, damn it! This is such a stupid goddamn situation.
  • Artemis Crock: We've got to get out of here, Kaldur. We’ve got to get out of here. We need a plan.
  • Kaldur'ahm: Okay, well, plan one is for you to lower your goddamn voice.
  • Artemis Crock: This is as low as I go, okay? I say we bum-rush Black Manta and choke him out with his own belt.
  • Kaldur'ahm: Artemis, you’re escalating shit. This is exactly what I’m talking about. We immediately escalate everything to a ten. It’s ridiculous. I mean, somebody comes in with some preposterous plan or idea, and then all of a sudden, everybody’s on the gas. Nobody’s on the brakes. Nobody’s thinking. Everybody’s just talking over each other with one idiotic idea after another until, finally, we find ourselves in a situation where we’ve blown up the cave and kidnapped three of our teammates!
  • Vandal Savage: Oh, think of it, Luthor. With the Justice League out of the way, we can do as we please. Two butts, one throne.
  • Lex Luthor: Alright, you know what, you’ve been doing this all day. Why are you talking like that?
  • Vandal Savage: I’m just being–I’m being arch.
  • Lex Luthor: Why?
  • Vandal Savage: Well, because we’re being devious and we’re plotting, and I just wanted to make sure that it was clear that we were devious and plotting.
  • Lex Luthor: You don’t need to indicate to me that you’re being devious when you’re actually being devious.
  • Vandal Savage: I guess I had some concerns that you wouldn’t pick up on it if I didn’t make it super clear.
  • Lex Luthor: Yeah, but the problem is if you start doing that, everybody’s gonna pick up on it. And that defeats the purpose.

After one too many “Imperial entanglements,” the owner of the Mos Eisley Cantina has decided to call it quits. After some trouble snagging a buyer, he finally hands the keys over to four young business-owners from Philadelphia and their financier: “The Gang Buys the Cantina”

  • Conner Kent: Oh, do me a favor, peel this apple for me, please.
  • Artemis Crock: No, no, I’m not gonna peel an apple for you.
  • Conner Kent: But M'gann always does it for me.
  • Artemis Crock: Why does M'gann peel your apples for you?
  • Conner Kent: She doesn’t like for me to eat the apples with the skin on it, she says the skin’s loaded with toxins.
  • Artemis Crock: OK, well, good news - M'gann's not here.
  • Conner Kent: I know she’s not here and that’s why I need you to do it for me. PLEASE, PLEASE.
  • Artemis Crock: Oh Jesus, just eat it with the skin on it.
  • Conner Kent: I do not LIKE IT with the skin, Artemis. I'm not ALLOWED to eat it with the skin, I'm not ALLOWED!
  • Artemis Crock: OH MY GOD, all right. If you just shut up, I will peel the apple for you the way M'gann likes you to eat it! Give it to me, give it to me! I’ll do it the way M'gann insists, okay?