Can we as a society please like stop teaching young children that anything done in the name of love is okay and even noble? Just because someone does something out of love does not make it okay or excusable.
This line of thought is is so often portrayed in media, especially in YA literature and media, where straight guys are excused or even congratulated for their shitty behavior because they did it out of love (looking at you Stephanie Meyer). It is perpetuated in “he does it because he likes you” type comments made toward literal children. It is the foundation of harassment and entitlement toward women. It is everywhere.
This idea is DANGEROUS. This idea gets young people, especially young women, abused and killed. Love is not an excuse, it is not a way to sweep the dirt under the rug. Love is commitment and honesty and work. “But he did it because he loves her,” is a cop-out, plain and simple. It allows people, especially men, to hide behind their affections to avoid owning up to their shitty behavior.
Not everything done in the name of love is done in the spirit of love, and we need to start teaching young people to tell the difference.
It’s often very difficult for us to receive love. Perhaps our past has taught us that it’s never genuine – or love is not reliable, and won’t last in the end. If this is your experience, it’s understandable that trusting love is scary, and a step that’s hard to take. Below are some steps that can help you with this.
1. Believe people when they say they love you. Whether it be a partner, a good friend, or a family member, it is crucial that we accept those words as being true and genuine. For If you’re continually doubting and pushing them away, then you’ll hamper them proving that they truly do love you.
2. Stop being terrified of loss. It’s normal and common to hold back from trusting love if your heart has been broken, or your love has been betrayed. Why would you want to experience that again! However, if you don’t take a chance on a person who seems true, you’ll spend your whole life running, and be captive to your fears. And there are people who are safe, and who will genuinely care. So trust your intuition, and push past all that fear.
3. Love yourself. For some this is the hardest step to take. However, if you don’t love yourself then you cannot receive love – as deep down inside you don’t believe you deserve love. If this is true for you, take the time to figure out the reason why you feel you’re not worthy of being loved. Then, work on challenging and replacing this belief. (Perhaps with the help of a counsellor.)
4. Begin to take down the walls and to risk being vulnerable. Being authentic is scary as you feel so vulnerable. But you can take a few small steps, and can practice being real. Decide it’s not OK to be cynical and tough, and choose to be more open, and let others get close.
5. Learn from young children, and the way they receive love. They expect to be loved, to be treated with respect, and to have their needs met when they reach out for support. They don’t fear rejection, or think that they’ll be hurt. For them, love is natural, it’s healthy and innate. So try to believe that the same is true for you – and love is enriching, rewarding, safe, and good.
Can I talk about one line I especially appreciate in Undertale?
On it’s own, this line is a huge wham line of feelings on its own. It’s one of the pinnacles of the Pacifist run. It’s a single sentence basically summing up the morals used through said run, and it’s pretty heavy. But it also has a personal meaning to me, and I’d like to talk about the way the lowercase ‘love’ is used.
Throughout the game of Undertale there is no direct romance involving Frisk. (They’re a child, first of all, and that’s just not the focus of the game in general), yet, this term is used.
‘Love’. In media you never really hear that outside of sexual and/or romantic relationships. You only hear the term ‘love’ when kisses or romantic partners are being described. And as an Aromantic it’s almost alienating to me. You can’t ‘love’ your friends in media. You’re ‘best friends’. Or you ‘Care about each other’. And in familial relationships only young children tend to say they ‘love’ each other. It’s never used like that. It’s as if media treats those two types of love as somehow less real.
But they’re not. They’re just as, if not more, important as romantic ‘love’. And frankly I love that this one line throws that idea down the drain.
A Cat Called Room 8 - In 1952, a cat wandered into a classroom at Elysian Heights Elementary School, Echo Park, California, and there began the story of one of the world’s most adored cats. After this cat came back to the same classroom each morning, the children decided to name him “Room 8″ after the number of their classroom.
Room 8, just like the children, left the school for the summer and would always return on the very first day of the new year. This pattern continued each year until his death in 1968. Room 8 became a celebrity in his own right, receiving letters from fans worldwide after appearing in Look Magazine, and even inspiring a book entitled “A Cat Called Room 8” and a song entitled “Room 8: The School Cat.”
Following his death in 1968, his obituary in the Los Angeles Times ran three paragraphs, like any other well-loved celebrity. His obituary even ran in papers as far away as Connecticut. He is buried in the Los Angeles Pet Memorial Park in Calabasas, California, and Elysian Heights Elementary School has a wall mural and etched tributes on the side walk in commemoration of this wonderful cat that taught a lot of young children a lesson in love, friendship, and compassion.
All of the works below are written beautifully by very talented and hard working writer’s. Do not steal their work, please and thank you. This is all opinion based, but I do recommend giving all of their work a chance, whether you bias the boy or not! [Inspired by thisfanfic rec]
NCT 127 reacting to you putting your hands up their top when you’re tired
Could I request a monsta x and nct 127 reaction where you always put your hand in/up their top when you are tired xx
I hope you enjoy this reaction and it lived up to your expectations! Requests are open so please check our guidelines and request all you like! The Monsta X reaction should be out soon as well so please be patient!
His reaction will be based on how long you two have been dating. If it had only been a couple of months he’d be really surprised and confront you about it, but when you tell him it’s one of your habits he lets it go. It doesn’t stop him from getting nervous about it when you do it though, but if you were dating for a while now he’d be used to it and wouldn’t complain at all.
‘Huh… Oh Y/N it’s just you, are you sleepy again?’
He would start giggling as he felt your hands creep up his shirt unconsciously, he’d turn to look at you to see what you were up to only to see you were struggling to stay awake. After this had happened a few times now he’d realise it was a little cute habit of yours and would secretly love it. He’d giggle everytime he felt your hands brush against his stomach and would think to himself how he managed to find such an adorable girlfriend.
‘Woahh. My jagiya is so cute~’
Would squirm under your cold touch and would ask you what you’re doing, when you answer him saying it’s a habit you’ve always had and apologise he’d say it’s fine. Although he finds it quite uncomfortable seeing as your hands were really cold he wouldn’t say anything but instead would put his hands over yours and rub gently to try and warm you up. Would be really flustered on the inside though and would be letting out a few nervous laughs whilst trying to show you he doesn’t mind your habit.
‘Yahh Y/N you’re hands are so cold, let me warm them up for you.’
God forbid. You having this habit only builds up his ego and confidence even more than before. When he felt your hands work their way up the back of his shirt an instant smirk came on his face. He’d remove your hands and turn to face you only to see your pout. Would instantly laugh at the fact that you loved your hands up his shirt so much and would tease you forever, would probably even tell the other members about your sleeping habits.
‘Wow you really like me that much huh? Don’t blame you, who wouldn’t want their hands on this.’
*Starts to dance his bit from limitless*
He’s probably the only member that would make the biggest fuss over it, you made the mistake of putting your hands under his shirt and snuggling into his side in front of the dreamies, but you couldn’t help it as you were very very tired. Usually he wouldn’t be bothered but after you did that he’d constantly nag at you, the only time he wouldn’t nag is when you were both sleeping, then he’d let you out your hands wherever you wanted.
‘Yah not here there’s young children around what’s wrong with you!’
Loves it. Loves it. Loves it. The first time you did it he asked you about it out of curiousity, after finding out it was habit he’d find you oh so much cuter. Everytime you do it he sneaks photos of you and shows them to the members saying how adorable and cute you are. Falls more in love with you every time he finds something new about you and enjoys showing you off to other people, even complete strangers.
‘Hyung look at her! This is her habit I told you about! Isn’t she adorable~’
Would get super flustered tbh, poor bean would be awkward af and not really know what to do. You told him about your tendencies when you’re tired and he had told you that it was fine. Although when you did it in front of the members he thought he was going to die from being so flustered, his eyes darted everywhere as the members teased him. He didn’t mind though cuz even though he was getting made fun of he couldn’t help but think how cute you are.
‘E-erm… go to sleep Y/N… y-you must be tired.’
You both would just be sitting together on the sofa when you snuggle into his side and one of you hands traveled up his back and the other rested on his stomach. He looked down at you alarmed and was struggling to think of anything to say, you left him speechless as you soon fell asleep soundly. He didn’t want to wake you up yet he also didn’t want the members to walk and see you both like this, especially Haechan. He decided it was best to just let you sleep soundly and he’ll explain it to the members when they walk in, when he confronts you about it later he’d be awkward af but when he learns it’s your habit he decides that he needs to suck it up and get used to it.
‘A-ah okay… a habit. Then it’s okay, feel free to do it w-whenever you’re tired i g-guess!’
He would be a cocky little shit honestly, much like Yuta but more teasing than egoistical. You told him about your habit beforehand so he would know what to expect, although when it happened he didn’t think it’d be as cute as he originally thought. He didn’t let you know that of course, instead he’d say something like someone help and get this leech off of me. Would probably take photos only to tease you and show you for when you wake up, but would also look at them in secret cuz so cuteee.
‘Why would you look at that? The leech is back for more, I must be amazing or something as she always come for me, strange that isn’t it?’
the Supergirl showrunners’ best of so far: whitewashing a WoC role, actual PoC casting almost exclusively reserved for villains, their already existing PoC characters sidelined/made irrelevant, sidelining a black man as a romantic lead for a white slaveowner, promoting abusive/toxic relationships (on a family show, watched by a great number of children/young people), reducing their female heroine to a love interest on her own show in favor of a very badly written straight white fratboy, giving minimal screentime to their lesbian couple and cutting them off from the main plot almost entirely, prioritizing straight white heterosexual relationships above everything else, giving no followup to important interpersonal issues or traumatic events happening onscreen, almost entirely eradicating the human side of their superhero (dedicating four episodes at best to her dayjob out of 18, again with no followup when she’s fired from the company that meant everything to her for YEARS), and then having the bare-faced audacity to act like their show is in any way progressive or relevant for the three seconds of throwaway Trump references or a half-assed storyline on immigration issues