young and posh

funny story: so i was looking at this pic and i thought ‘lol this looks like a young posh couple just moved to the country but the husband has the hots for the local mechanic guy and then a torrid affair ensues.. siigh now that’d be an interesting story to go with this pic! someone should write that au’

until it dawned on me like lmao u fucking moron this is literally word for word what happened in front of your eyes???? this is the actual Robron origin story and it’s called the affair era???

and i’ve been laughing ever since.. and also i feel blessed :))

Courted [a Sebastian Smythe AU]

Request: ok but like. can i request a prince! sebastian? like maybe he’s a dick but he sees reader (whether she’s royal or or not idc) and tries to use charm or something like that. also, happy valentines day ! xx

a/n: seb is an ass but hes MY ass so its ok. HAPPY SINGLES DAY x


Sebastian is such a prince name; that’s what everyone says. The young prince likes how posh his name sounds. It makes him feel even more powerful. Whenever he goes into town, he makes sure his presence is known. “Prince Sebastian!” one of his royal escorts announces after blowing the horn.

Hopping of his stark white horse, the prince fixes his navy cape around his shoulders. His mossy green eyes scan the small market village, landing on a flower shop. As he struts towards it, he picks up an apple from someone’s basket, smirking and rolling the smooth fruit between his palms. The owner sighs.

His mud color knee high boots stop in the wood doorway, brushing around loose dirt. “Well, well, well, aren’t you a pretty commoner?” he flirts, biting the skin of the apple. You blush, stopping your hands from continuing to arrange the bouquet. “Tell me, what is your name, commoner?” he all but orders, swallowing after he presses the back of his hand to his mouth.

Stepping away from the table, you grab some of the light brown fabric of your skirt, curtsying and bowing your head. “My name is Y/N…my lord.” you whisper, standing up straighter while you run your fingers through your hair.

There’s a twinkle in his eyes and he puts the apple in his mouth, staring directly at you when he takes a bite. You shift on your feet nervously, nibbling on your bottom lip. “Y/N…” he repeats, tossing the fruit to the ground. Sebastian crosses his arms over his fitted red toga. “These flowers are not nearly as beautiful as you.” he tuts, scowling as he passes by the radiant nature.

“My lor-”

“Sebastian.” he interrupts, “You are allowed to call me Sebastian. You and only you.” he smirks, admiring the way he made your face heat up. His grass green eyes travel down your body, lips popping. “Are you courted yet?” You shake your head. “I am going to court you then. If you let me.” he says hopefully, strutting closer.

You gasp quietly, playing with your fingers. This is the prince you are talking to! “Your highn-” The prince shoots you a playful glare. “Sebastian.” you correct yourself, “You wish to court me, but you barely know me…” you trail off, unsure if this is acceptable to say. Probably not.

Sighing dramatically, Sebastian leans against the wood doorframe, crossing his black leather-clad legs. “Then you must tell me things.” he tilts his head slightly, eyes widened. “Because I am courting you, milady.”

Pure as Mud: Chapter 1

Summary : Dan Howell is muggleborn, Phil Lester is a pure blood. Phil dreams of Slytherin, Dan’s just happy to be a wizard. When conflict arises the boys are broken apart, only to come back together as prefects years later. Can they repair the bond their younger selves broke?

Author’s Notes : This is my first phanfic I’ve written, I really hope you guys enjoy it! Updates will come every Saturday.
I just wanted to mention that I don’t actually think Hufflepuff is the “leftover house” it’s there for other reasons and don’t worry the opinions of the characters will change!

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The Road So Far #2: Workie School Dropout

So, I decided to change. I’m going to quit being the nerd scrawny guy and I’m gonna be a dumb rough workie lad. Yay!

Well, easier said than done.

This is the second post on a series of posts I plan to make here, that detail the changes I have made on my life for the past year and a half, in order to help me go from a white collar, middle-class guy, into a workie chav. The first post was about what I judged to be the mindset I needed to acquire, to become a chav.

The Road So Far #1 - Bye Bye Blues, Hello Colorado

After my graduation in International Trade, a couple of years ago, I got into one of the state’s best post-graduation programs, to specialize in Strategy and Contemporary Foreign Affairs.

Where I come from this was only natural. In order to take the next step on the corporate ladder you study, you better yourself, and you work hard.

But at some point I realized… I wasn’t happy. This was not what I wanted. I was tired. I was studying so hard that I came to mental exhaustion. And then I took a step back and decide I didn’t want that. And then I just walked away from it, without looking back.

After that I had a lot of free time and, as they say, “empty mind, devil’s work place.”

And that’s when I decided that I didn’t want to be this guy. I didn’t want to be who I was. I wanted to be the guy that carries bricks on the construction site, I wanted to be the guy that runs after the the garbage truck, I wanted to be the guy that unloads trucks on the warehouse.

These had always been some fantasies of mine, but I couldn’t do that. Or could I? I was on my way to become an executive. I was studying towards that. Except I wasn’t. Not anymore.

And then I took a stand: if I really wanted that, then I had to prove myself I could do it.

So I went on a Crag’s List-like website and left an ad looking for a job. But not any job. I posted an ad searching for a job in construction, as laborer. And after a while I got a call about the ad and soon I was working on the construction site.

I worked there for a couple of months and it was enough to prove myself that I could do it. And better yet, to prove myself that this is exactly what I wanted.

And so, I decided to go back to school. But not any school, I enrolled myself into Trade School. For several reasons I decided to go back studying, but not to become a young posh executive, but to become a full time mechanical technician.

The idea of wearing a dirty work uniform, heavy work boots, and have my hands dirty of greasy instantly made me pop a boner.

And so I started my classes at Trade School, over a year and a half ago. I still have six more months to go, but I couldn’t me any happier with my decision.

After going to college and after getting into one of the best post-graduate programs in the country, it was so fucking strange to go trade school. It somehow, reminded me of my high school. Maybe because most of my colleagues are still on high school, or just graduated. Hell, most of them barely finished high school, actually.

Gone is the respect a grad student imposes and, in it’s place, teachers used to having to stand teens who doesn’t even necessarily want to be there.

There are kids, and some people around my age, but differently than me, who have always had a privileged life, most of them have the background I wanted to have. Broken homes, history working in the field, little instruction, and grasping the opportunity they need to have a slightly better future.

And that’s the moment I realized that this was the opportunity I needed to be in constant contact with the people I wanted to be like.

Over time, I eventually made a couple of friends and I eventually became used to not talking about politics, or movies, or any “smart” subject, but about football, and cars, and bikes and stuff like that.

And from the day I started on Trade School on, smart, young executive Jonathan King started going away, and King the chav was born.

And so I keep on my path. With a couple of news mates, working on the right mindset, and on my way to become a full time grease monkey.

seb was forced to go to jesus camp to cure him of his gayness n then his family died in a planecrash during it

The Master

Your twisted fantasy has become a reality.Your dream has come true…finally you  cause pain amongst others! It’s all just so much fun. Screams of pain fill your ears as you dance with the knife in hand. It is music to your ears. A huge symphony complete with a staccato rhythm and hushed ostinato.  Cries of anxiety and pain fill the air and fill you with euphoria. Maniacal laughter fills the room, echoing through the walls. It is a high pitched, sharp sound that resonates in the air and finally dies down into a deep chuckle. You wheeze a little as you try to regain your composure and pick up the blade. The screaming gets louder and rings through your mind. This is too amusing for you to handle. The very feeling of power surges through you and the realisation that you have found your calling in life has hit. 

You were meant to be a killer. 

————————————————————————————————

“Room 60.” 

The lady, whose name tag read Iris, said quietly and then proceeded to hand you a small, silver key. You gave her a smile and she gulped as if on edge. Your smile tended to put people on edge as it was a sharp, insincere and sinister looking thing but you didn’t mind…in fact you loved it. You were beautiful and you knew it with your dazzling Y/E/C eyes which were framed with long,thick lashes. Your beautiful Y/H/C, Y/H/L hair was soft and had a silky texture and framed your pretty face. Before you began to pursue your life of crime you had been the object of many men’s affections but it never worked out. You were not committed and did not care for their feelings… they were all the same in the end! All they wanted was cheap sex to satisfy their raging hormones and it disgusted you.

As you made your way to your room you looked about the place. It was fancy and had a 1920s or 30s sort of style to it. It was incredibly beautiful with it’s red and gold colour scheme complete with glass chandeliers. But that did not take away the blatant aura of creepiness away from it….you knew some very bad things had happened here. Luckily, you were a bad girl and enjoyed the thrill of being in dangerous or strange places. As you walked into the room you heard a few voices behind you. It was a young, snobby looking couple with designer clothing walking through the lobby causing a ruckus. You smiled as you realised who they were. Your next victims….

———————————————————————————————–

You howled with laughter as you lay in a pool of blood. It was not your blood but the couple’s who you saw earlier. You felt the cold, crimson on your warm skin and the contrast made you shiver. It was almost a turn on. You glanced to the side and saw their lifeless bodies on the floor. You got up and switched the radio on…it was your favourite song. 

“ I ONLY LOVE IT WHEN YOU TOUCH ME ,NOT FEEL ME WHEN I’M FUCKED UP THAT THE REAL ME! WHEN I’M FUCKE-” 

You sang loudly and out of tune as you danced around their dead bodies. This was shaping up to be such a great day! You managed to kill 4 people in one day and now your favourite songs were playing. You were about to finish of the chorus when a deep voice spoke behind you.

“That kind of language is very unbecoming of a young woman.” 

The voice was posh and smooth. Something you wouldn’t normally hear in 2015. You turned around a saw a man crouching down and examining the bodies. He looked up and you realised he was incredibly handsome with dark, mysterious eyes and deep. brown hair. You smiled creepily.

“So is murder. Say, handsome whatcha doin’ here?”

 You breathed out as you sauntered up to him; swaying your hips seductively. He smiled and looked at you intensely. 

“Watching you kill and I must say that you have a lot of talent.” He spoke in a proud, low tone with wide eyes. He brushed a lock of hair behind your ear and whispered dangerously.

“You also have a lot of beauty.” 

You raised your eyebrows in amusement and thanked him. This was rather strange now that you had thought about it. You murdered a couple, danced in their blood to The Weeknd and met a handsome man who praised you for committing such evil acts yet disliked your use of profanity. 

“Come…we have a lot of work to do.” He said and lead you out of the room all the way downstairs to a bar. It was there that you saw a woman with short blonde hair, a transgender woman, a lady who resembled Aileen Wuornos and a handsome man with a strong jawline all conversing. 

They suddenly stopped as they all saw the man who you were with and looked up at him.

“Master…” The lady who Aileen Wuornos breathed out in what seemed to be awe. This was weird. 

“Not now Aileen. I would like to present the newest member of the Hotel Cortez and my newest prodigy…Y/N!” 

He spoke clearly and everyone clapped happily. They let out a few whoops and beckoned you near them. You sat and talked the night away; occasionally glancing at ‘The Master’ who always looked back. You knew that the Cortez would be your home from now on! 

This was requested by the wonderful mrmarchswife and I hope you liked it! Be sure to check out her blog it is AMAZING! - Mavis