youmightbeanengineeringstudentif

youmightbeanengineeringstudentif asked:

A man walked into a bar and noticed three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. "What's up with that?" he asked. The bartender replied, "Well, if you can jump up and hit the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. But if you miss, you have to pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You wanna try it?" The man replied, "Nah, the steaks are too high."

EXCUSE ME but that was indeed terribly corny I love it and you are an amazing human being bless you

youmightbeanengineeringstudentif asked:

A man walked into a bar and noticed three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. "What's up with that?" he asked. The bartender replied, "Well, if you can jump up and hit the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. But if you miss, you have to pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You wanna try it?" The man replied, "Nah, the steaks are too high."

oH MY GOD

Speaking from personal experience, I live with four friends I met in first year through residence, none of whom are in engineering. My friends in the same program as me have become very close over the years as we spend what seems like every waking moment together. Yet, that means that when I am stressed out over assignment deadlines or an impossible test, they are all facing the same stresses. Often times, my housemates have a different schedule and they are able to be a distraction from the work. Sometimes we’ll reward ourselves with a movie night in if we get some work done or simply listen to each other’s causes of stress and provide a fresh insight.
— 

quoted from youmightbeanengineeringstudentif

This. This so completely describes my relationship with my different groups of friends. I love my engineering friends because we spend so much time together and they have seen me in good times and bad (bad being, 3 am when we are all struggling to finish a lab report, good being when finals are finally over and we can finally relax). But at the same time I couldn’t live without my dorm friends who always seem to be able to cheer me up, even during those stressful times.

WHY ENGINEER'S DON'T WRITE COOKBOOKS

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients:
1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4.) 236 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein ovoids
9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao 10.) 236 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation.
In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogeneous.
To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogeneous mixture in reactor #1.
Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.
Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm).
Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank and Johnston’s first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown.
Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25ºC heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

Source: Engineering Humour