today i finally figured out why i still think about you everyday. you really did care about me. but you hurt me more than anyone ever has. when you broke up with me, i literally could not believe it. it was almost random. then you told me you wanted me back. i was reluctant to it because i was mad but i finally said i did want to be with you. the second you saw me say that you told me you didn't want me anymore. you pulled me back and forth that day. you played with my heart. i will never forgive you for that. you are so mean to me now, you say things you know will get to me, but youll randomly tell me you miss me. i’ve been so angry with you for the past 2 months. so are all my friends, they still are, they cant believe how mean you are to me. but today i realized something. i hurt you too. i didnt push you away but i took you for granted.  you wanted to be with me as much as i wanted to be with you, but i didn’t show it well enough. and everyday since you broke up with me i wish i did. i told you i loved you all the time but i guess i never showed you. i really did, i took you for granted and didn't think i would loose you. i was wrong. i lost something that really meant a lot to me and i cant have it back. you cared. i mean, i’ve dated boys before you, i dated a guy for an entire year and i still don’t think he truly cared about me like you did. you took care of me after my repeated surgeries, you would drop whatever you were doing for me. no one has ever done that for me. i liked everything about you, your so smart and funny and good looking. i spent this whole time trying to get over you blaming you. when really i should be blaming myself, because maybe if i tried harder and showed it more you would still be with me today. i don't forgive you for what you did to me, its not right. but i understand why you are upset with me. i know you and i wont be together again, and i’m not sure that i would want to be with you, you’ve changed. your a mean person now. but i still miss the old you more than anything. i just wish i realized this all before things changed.

I wish

I wish I didn’t always let you walk all over me. You don’t even realize how much it hurts me. I feel like you don’t give a shit about me anymore and it sucks. I wish you wanted to hang out like you used to and we could be cool. But every time you ditch. I’m the only one that ever stays how I feel.

seasons are always changing
unfortunately people are too
feelings fade to black
and true colors show
the ones you used to know
become strangers to you
the relationships that
were thought to last
severed almost instantly
the love you once felt
is nothing anymore

what happened to everything?
what happened to us?
what about everything we’ve been through?
what about trust?
is that it then?
is it all over?

you promised me forever
i never knew forever had an end
you promised you’d never leave
well where are you now?

i thought i knew you
but things change
people change
you changed…