youbrokefate

Gold star moments update:

  • Went to Melbourne for a holiday
  • Moved into a new house with Toby and Peanut (cat)
  • Started off the New Year watching Lost with my love
  • (Mostly) Unpacked the house
  • In the preparation stage of creating something exciting
  • Got promoted
  • Had a fun and loving Christmas with two families
  • Had an awesome day in the park with Toby’s family
  • Awaiing Laneway - SO PUMPED

Things I should probably get my butt into gear about: 

  • Donating clothes I don’t wear
  • Replying to emails about important events
  • Focusing on my health - rather than my cravings
  • Working on a goal I have - at least something each month 
  • Saving money to travel again

My anxiety has been getting the best of me lately. 
My work environment isn’t the best to be around - so obviously I’m taking steps to change that. But until then, things are going to stay the same unless my  attitude changes towards the atmosphere I’m in. 

I’ve decided to take a step back and withdraw myself from my work ‘family’. 
Not that it’s a big deal for them, or that they will even notice. For me though, it will make all the difference. Part of the problem is being too involved and taking on problems and attitudes that I don’t need to take on and or think about.

I’m doing this for me, I’m going to be selfish to make myself feel better. I don’t find anything wrong with that.

So, at this present time, there is a date set as to when I (and Jesse) are leaving for America. It will be sometime next January. 

The main things is, we have a house sorted and a car, if necessary. 

All we need to sort out is our visas’, international driver’s licence and our tickets there and back. Oh, and of course Jesse’s passport. But those are the main things, then we just need to save, save, save.

I am in the process of getting another job so I can live week by week but still have money to live off overseas.

I am both excited and nervous about this adventure. I have a semi-plan of what I want to do after I spend my time in America. But I will have to work that out closer to the time.  

Depending on how I feel, I don’t have any plans on coming back. But I know that I will. The only thing that I will miss is my family. Just thinking about leaving them hurts. I think that is why I have stayed around so long because I am so comfortable here. Which is great but, ‘If it scares me, I need to do it’. That’s how I see it anyway. 

There are so many thoughts going through my head right now. I am so sad. 

I really need someone. Just to realise that I am sad and say that is it okay to be. I just need reassurance. I never really get it. 

3

This has been the most insane weekend. Fintan Magee, Sydney based artist came up to Toowoomba and painted this amazing elephant on the side of TheGRID wall. 

Some of the guys from 40/40 Creative - Brisbane did a couple of small pieces on the roller doors. 

Kirsty and Alison, TheGRID were doing their piece out the back. The most colourful piece of the weekend.

I haven’t gone around the town of Toowoomba yet to see all of the 20+ walls that were painted. But when I do, I will update and show you what our town is becoming. It is beautiful to look at now. If you are ever passing through Toowoomba, come up to TheGRID and grab a map of all the walls around town. Make a day of it. It will be worth your while.

I honestly feel as though, quitting my job and only working at theGRID art gallery is one of the best things I have ever done. Even though I’m still looking for a another job in the meantime, at least I can focus most of my attention to theGRID. It’s definitely opening up a lot of opportunities for me that I never thought I would have. 

I’ve decided to start practicing for a big project that I’ve been planning for quite some time, and getting some ideas thrown around for my very own exhibition I would love to do. 

I honestly never thought something like this would happen to me, it doesn’t come easy though. So many comfort zones I had to step out of and be confident that I knew where I was going and what I was doing. It’s the start of my dream.

I’m determined to get rid of negative thoughts. They rule my whole day sometimes and it gets exhausting. There is nothing worse than someone who can’t stay positive. I suck the fun out of things, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to be an adventurous, outgoing, fun-filled person who can and will say yes to anything. I want to experience things in my life, and die knowing that I have. 

I’m too young to sit here and complain about the little things that ruin my day, because I have many more days to come. I want to fill my days with things I love so I have nothing to complain about and more things to look forward too.

It’s always ‘Oh, I don’t feel like working today.’ To which this beautiful person said to me 'Just don’t go, why do something that makes you unhappy?’