you-want-to-be-that-bottle

WHEN YOU'RE AT THE CLUB BUT YOU MAYBE PARTIED TOO HARD
  • Party Girl:It's fucking lit! *stumbles over while attempting to get to the dance floor*
  • Concerned Friend:Are you alright?
  • Party Girl:Get off me! I'm fine, bitch! I just want to fucking PARTAY!
  • Concerned Friend:I think you've had too much to drink. We should go home.
  • Party Girl:Too much? Maybe you haven't had enough. You're killing my vibe. *tries to reach for bottle at her table but knocks it over*
  • Party Girl:Fuck! Look what you made me do! Now, my clothes are all wet! I gotta go to the bathroom!
  • Concerned Friend:Do you need me to come with you?
  • Party Girl:No, fuck off, Jess! I'm fine!
  • Party Girl:*stumbles into the lady's room*
  • Party Girl:*leans on sink and stares into her reflection in bathroom mirror*
  • Party Girl:*internally* Fuck, I actually am too drunk. It's only 8PM and I'm completely fucking wasted. I ruined another night out, shit. No. No! I can turn this around. I'm lucid now, aren't I? No. That's only because I'm concentrating.
  • Party Girl:*sees a stall door crack open in the mirror's reflection*
  • Party Girl:*internally* Shit! Someone else is here. I have to try to act natural.
  • Party Girl:*immediately vomits, hits head off of sink, and falls over* Urgh...
  • Pallid Woman:*exits stall and stands over party girl* How unsightly.
  • Party Girl:Fuck you *burps* skank.
  • Pallid Woman:That was quite a nasty fall you had. Your head is gravely injured. Look at how much blood you are losing. Truly unsightly.
  • Party Girl:Don't you talk to me like you're some kind of fuckin'... like some fuck... urgh... *stops moving*
  • Pallid Woman:*checks pulse* Goodness, she is dead. What a shame. She was such a pretty woman. No use in letting her go to waste, I suppose.
  • Pallid Woman:*gingerly slips on a pair of surgical gloves*
  • Pallid Woman:*takes out scissors and attempts to cut out party girl's tongue* This is so tough with such cheap scissors. I really have to invest in a nice medical pair. Just a bit more slicing... almost there!
  • Pallid Woman:*tugs at tongue*
  • *tongue pops out*
  • Pallid Woman:Oh, there we go!
  • Pallid Woman:*drops tongue into her purse*
  • *bathroom door opens*
  • Pallid Woman:*runs back into stall*
  • Concerned Friend:Sarah? Oh my god, Sarah! Wake up! Please! God, no! *sobs*
  • Concerned Friend:*runs out of bathroom*
  • Pallid Woman:*quickly leaves bathroom as soon as concerned friend is gone and leaves club through back exit*
  • Pallid Woman:*sighs in relief* Such a thrill.
  • *at Pallid Woman's home*
  • Pallid Woman:*turns on light in her music room* I am back.
  • Tongueless Man:*blankly stares at pallid woman with his jaw hanging open*
  • Pallid Woman:I have gotten a new tongue. It is a woman's this time. I know you have been dying to here a new woman's voice. Her name was Sarah. *walks up to an instrument and places tongue in a slot on its front*
  • Pallid Woman:What are you in the mood for tonight?
  • Tongueless Man:*stares blankly*
  • Pallid Woman:Gnossiennes? It is a melancholic night, I suppose. *lifts instrument's fallboard and plays Gnossiennes No. 1*
  • Instrument:*sings in party girl's voice*
  • Pallid Woman:*stops halfway through the composition* What is the matter?
  • Tongueless Man:*stares blankly*
  • Pallid Woman:Yes. Yes, she does sound off. She seemed very drunk before I was able to get her tongue.
  • Tongueless Man:*stares blankly*
  • Pallid Woman:I am sorry. So sorry. I was a fool. Is there anyone else you would like to hear instead?
  • Tongueless Man:*stares blankly*
  • Pallid Woman:Ana. The young Ana?
  • Tongueless Man:*Stares blankly*
  • Pallid Woman:Yes, her voice is always so beautiful. Perfect for a night like tonight. *removes party girl's tongue from the instrument's slot*
  • Pallid Woman:*goes into her basement* Sorry, Sarah. Perhaps your voice will be better fit for a happier night.
  • Pallid Woman:*searches through her alphabetically organized cabinets for tongues* Oh, it seems that I have another Sarah already stored. It is a common name, I suppose.
  • Pallid Woman:*writes Sarah 2 on an empty cabinet* Here goes your new home, Sarah. I hope you find it comfy.

Live Drunk Rewrite™ Pt II: The Fucking Forest Again

Welcome back, friends. The rules:

1) There are no rules really

2) @shadu-kiam coaxed me into this so if it is good, thank her. If it is bad, blame her. Basically what I’m saying is leave me out of it altogether

3) I will rewrite in small bits that you are free to interact with if you like (or not, seeing as it is saturday night and I am getting drunk with tumblr while most people live normal lives, but send asks if you want or whatever) and then post a compilation upon completion

4) I WILL NOT be changing the actual content - that is, the events of the chapter will stand, but the wording will belong to me and this bottle of sav blanc which I spent TEN WHOLE DOLLARS on like a fucking adult

I’m on my first glass but had some champagne earlier so we will begin shortly. 

xx Olivie

3

A Trekkie Inspired Polish Collection, Curated by Me!

So it’s your friendly Apple, back to clearing out inventory from older projects.  This time, I’m talking nail polish.  For now, I’m offering this four bottle collection for $16 USD, with free shipping included to the US (international customers will receive reduced shipping rates to reflect this.  They’ll be available individually at some point soon, so stick with me if you just want one or two colors.  I’d also very much appreciate signal boosts for this post! Thanks guys!

Let them feel what I felt - curse

This curse is for when you want someone to let them feel what you feel/felt, due to what they have done to you.

Items needed:

-Paper
-Pen
-Jar/bottle
-Pepper
-Glass, nails, sharp stuff (please be careful with this!)
-Hot sauce
-Liquor, the higher the percentage of alcohol the better
-Fireproof bowl/pan
-Matches/lighter

What to do:

-Write the full name of the person you want to curse on a piece of paper.
-Write “may the full horror of your actions be revealed to you” under their name.
-Burn the paper in fireproof bowl of pan.
-Put all your sharp ingredients in your jar, add some hot sauce, fill half of the jar with the liquor, while repeating “may the full horror of your actions be revealed to you” until you have added everything.
-Add ashes of the paper, close lid and shake bottle/jar.
-Let sit for as long as you think is needed, you can repeat the words if you feel it is necessary.

(Optional: I threw the bottle+items in the glass trash can, because here you can dispose glass bottles including whatever is in them. But you can’t do that everywhere)

2

You groaned again as you walked around your apartment. You had your ass kicked nine ways to Sunday last night and you’re sure that your future grandchildren are feeling the pain you’re in right now. Barry, who having the time of his life laghing at you right now, sat on the couch watching you lug around the dead weight if your own limbs.

“Laugh all you want Bartholomew Allen, I’d love to kick your ass myself to see you like this, but you have those healing powers and you’d be fine in two seconds.”

“You chose the UFC, I didn’t.” Barry told me, with a smug smile on his face.

“I bet you couldn’t even train like me. All you do is run on a treadmill, I gotta practice fighting, I gotta run, I gotta study my opponenets, I gotta keep learning new combos and legal moves, and I gotta stay in my weight class so I can still fight.” You grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and imped your way to where Barry sat on your couch.

“I do a lot of training!” Barry argued. You stopped drinking from the bottle of water to choke out a laugh.

“Yeah, right.”

“-And I bet I could do your training too!” You looked at him and all of his overconfidence, and started laughing again.

“You keep thinking that, Barry.”

“I will bet that I can do your training.” Barry said, sitting up from his relaxed position on the couch.

“Number One: You could do mine because you’re the Flash and therefore, Number Two: It wouldn’t be fair to have you do my workout when you can run faster than anyone can believe.”

“What if Cait and Cisco made me a UFC workout that is equivalent to yours?” Barry asked, looking at you, being completely serious.

“You’re not joking around.” You stated.

“No way, I know I can do something as easy as this.”

“Okay, bet’s on.”


You sat in one of the chairs at STAR Labs, talking to Cisco and Caitlin, describing every aspect of your workout so they can make Barry one. You were describing your runs, your workouts with your three specialized trainers, your regular workouts that you do everyday, your diet, and finally, what you do to lose pounds quick when you need to maintain your weight class. All of it makes you a good fighter and all of it you need to do.

“You really do all of this?” Cait asked, writing everything down.

“Yep. Every week of every year since I was about eighteen years old.”

“I can’t even go up the stairs without being out of breath. How are you not dead?” Cisco asked, apalled, popping another sucker into his mouth.

“Maybe its because I don’t have a lot of these,” You said, flicking the stick of the sucker.

Cisco gave you a bitch face, “That’s just rude.”


You walked into the police station early on a Monday morning, a great pep in your step after watching Barry suffer for two weeks. He obviously put on a brave face around you, trying to make it seem like he wasn’t hurt by anything, but you could tell by the way he walked and his facial expressions he was in a lot of pain. Not to metnion Joe, Iris, Caitlin, and Cisco have told you behind Barry’s back about how uch he’s been complaining. Usually, you didn’t like seeing your friends hurting, but with Barry belittling and not validating your pain, you were happy to see him walk funny.

You bound up the steps to Barry’s lab after giving Joe his cup of coffee (two creams, five sugars). The pain from working out today became a dull ache that was normal, so you were able to happiy skip into Barry’s open lab.

“Good morning, hon!” You exclaimed, seeing Barry at his desk, writing up paperwork. Barry looked up, and winced, then covered it up with a smile. “You’re one fourth of the way through. I thought you deserved a good coffee to keep you motivated to win the bet.”

“Thank you, it hasn’t been too hard. I think I can take it for another six weeks.”

“Have fun.”


You were chiling out in STAR Labs talking between Cisco and Caitin. Barry had said he was going to meet you for a late lunch or an early dinner; you didn’t know. As you were happily chatting away, Barry ran in, making the paper jostle under the paper weights. He stood in the midle of the open space. “I can’t take it anymore!”

Barry let himself fall to the ground and you, Caitlin, and Cisco shot up. You pumped your fists into the air while Cait and Cisco went to go see if he was okay. 

“Yes, bitch!” You shouted, jumping up and down in your spot. “It’s been a month, not two, I won the bet!” Barry groaned in response and all you did was cackle.

“What did you even win?” Cisco asked, knelt down net to Barry.

You put on a voice, dancing a little. “An all expense paid trip to Disneyland! Ha! I won! Barry you have to take me to Disneyland!”

requested by: anonymous
*images are not mine* (REQUESTS ARE OPEN-READ IMAGINE RULES)

Trick 'n Treat: Pranks on Her
  • Alyn:Bakes a cake that's secretly decorated with human fingers made of gummy bears.
  • Byron:A classic because it's his first time - his hand coming off after a handshake.
  • Louis:Not a prank actually, because whatever he does is magic.
  • Leo:Pretends to have nightmares, ending up with real nightmares.
  • Nico:Some tricks here and there, every time he can, like that gum pack with a snapping plastic cockroach.
  • Albert:No pranks, but he'll read you a horror story in bed while you lay in his arms.
  • Sid:Gives you a bottle of wine that tastes funny because he mixed it with something you don't want to know.
  • Giles:Giving you a day off, but not really.
  • Robert:You know those creepy paintings that look at you wherever you go? There's no escape, all eyes are on you.
Suddenly I find (the electricity is gone)

Sorry for the delay y’all!

(Part 1) (Part 2)

“So…” Pete says and Sonny finds that he’s right behind him. “You the romance expert now?”

And Sonny realizes that he might well use his advice for his own evening tonight.

“That’s right,” he says cheekily, leaning against the doorway in what is meant to be seductive, but he loses his balance and slams his shoulder against it instead.

Pete doesn’t point it out, thank God. Sonny regains his composure, tries to play it cool.

“Soooo, do you want a slushee?”

Pete eats up the rest of his chocolate bar and nods. He grabs a bottle of pop from the fridge, all cold thanks to Sonny’s expert hands who fixed it today. Usnavi can suck it.

Sonny almost forgets that he’s supposed to be giving Pete a slushee. There is nothing other than the way Pete’s throat bobs as he slurps a big sip of Country Club, damn if Usnavi notices a bottle is gone and unpaid for. Pete puts down the bottle on the counter and looks at Sonny expectantly. Shit. Sonny scrambles to the slushee machines.

“Sonny’s secret recipe for you,” he promises and congratulates himself for refraining to add any pet name that threaten to slip out every time.

“Sweet,” Pete says and it’s good Sonny has something to focus on after a smile like this.

He carefully pours all the layers, the raspberry and the cherry cola and the raspberry again, and he’s about to add the Nerds when suddenly Pete is right behind his shoulder, watching him, and Sonny gasps and drops the whole thing on the floor.

“Shit…”

“Aw, man, sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“You didn’t! I’m just… Ugh…”

Words never used to be a problem like that, did they? Sonny used to be able to talk people up, get away from anything using just his mouth, he used to be cool and chatty and fun. He still is all of those things, he thinks, just not when he’s around his crushes. His failed attempt to hit on Nina this afternoon is just proof of that. And now she’s gone dancing and Usnavi got a date with his dream girl and Sonny is all alone with his other crush with no idea what to do.

“Whatcha putting in?” Pete asks and he’s so, so close.

Sonny forces a grin on his face, forces the nervousness away and pushes on Pete’s chest to get him to back away and sit on the counter again − can’t promise he’ll keep it together if he doesn’t.

“Sonny’s secret recipe,” he replies. “Can’t risk getting out of business.”

“A'ight, you keep your secrets,” Pete says with a grin, jumping on the counter and Sonny has to look away again, the way Pete’s arms tense when he holes himself up, with that sleeveless thingie he’s always wearing, he can’t look, otherwise he’ll stare, and wouldn’t that be awkward?

“I gotta ask Usnavi to make that a thing,” he says. “Like a sign outside? Maybe I got future in the slushee business.”

“You got future in any business you want, man.”

“Mmh.”

Again, the layers, carefully poured. He grabs a handful of Nerds from the bowl where he keeps them and puts them in, one by one, precise. He takes a big breath and tries to look cool and smart and fun, and turns around to give Pete the slushee…

And he trips on the one he dropped before. Wet sticky ice under his feet, he loses balance. He feels his arms flailing around and before he knows it, he’s falling. Or rather, he would be, if not for Pete who jumps down the counter in no time at all to scoop him up. Sonny lands against his chest with a muffled groan, the slushee miraculously upright in his hand. Pete grabs it and sets it aside.

“You alright?” Pete asks, his voice so nice and deep and gentle, it always is with Sonny. Usnavi doesn’t know shit.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “’M fine.”

He doesn’t want to look up, doesn’t want to ever leave Pete’s arms, even though he’ll have to and then probably never speak to him ever again, because he embarrassed himself to death right now. He’s probably already dead, and Satan is teasing him with Pete hugging him. He nuzzles against his chest before he can even stop himself, because this is all some sort of nightmarish dream anyways.

“Gave me a scare here,” Pete says, his hand patting Sonny’s back.

This is the end of his life. There is no way he’s going to survive this. He’s dead.

“Good?” Pete asks.

He nods and tries not to be a creep and breathe in Pete’s smell, even though that’s exactly what he’s doing. Painfully, he breaks away from him, or at least tries to but Pete’s arms are a vice around him.

“Pete…?”

There is something in Pete’s eyes that Sonny has never seen before and he is sure he didn’t just imagine the way they flickered down to his lips, and he gotta say something, right? One of them gotta say something, or are they just going to stare at each other, arms still around each other, until Sonny dies of embarrassment?

“Son’, I just…”

He is not imagining this. He is not imagining the way Pete tilts his head just a little bit towards him, and his heart is pounding so hard he couldn’t hear anything even if Pete talked, and their faces are getting closer, this isn’t just in his head…

Then his world turns upside down, and not because of Pete. Suddenly, the electricity is gone. Just the fucking right time.

“Shit,” he mutters to darkness around him.

If you’ve read this and enjoyed it, please reblog and comment in the tags!

anonymous asked:

How do I get over a break up? I just want all feelings gone

let go of feelings of hate bc they prevent u from growth, allow urself to experience the emotions bc ignoring them and bottling it all up won’t help towards moving on. focus on improving yourself and working on your flaws, bc there’s always something that we can work on!!

go for walks, read new books, listen to new music, go to new places, clear your head and practice mindfulness and i promise it’ll get better!!

it’s hard and you’ll have days where you feel like you’ve lost progress but i promise you, it’s not for nothing!! one day you’ll feel fulfilled !!

just remember never chase true love bc as stupid as it sounds, it’ll find you. oh omg also allow urself to feel happiness, don’t push it away!!! i promise it’ll get better!!!

anonymous asked:

I think we can all agree that you need to write some more McCree ;) 💖

“Well now, ain’t you cute.” McCree tips his hat gives you a grin. He looks like he’s about to say something else, but a split second later an empty water bottle is thrown at his head. 

KC looks furious. “Excuse me. Get away from my followers!” She makes a ‘shoo’ing motion at the cowboy.

“They asked for me.” He has a smug look on his face. “Wouldn’t want to keep them waitin’.”

3

Yes you read that correctly, 

we are indeed having a sweet baby boy! Zay is super excited; I must admit I’m a bit nervous, I know how to raise little girls: pink and all things Disney…but boys are a whole different story! I am excited though! Macey is surprisingly super excited as well (we thought she wanted as sister) but if you can’t tell by the family picture, Ellie is NOT happy with us. She won’t let us hold her and isn’t talking to me or daddy.. who knows how long that’ll last!

In other news, 

we would love for you and your family to join us at the baby shower! We mostly still need clothes/ toys/ bottles/ diapers. As far as furniture goes we have the nursery finish! 

anonymous asked:

i just finished "lady of the lake" and had to take an entire bottle of wine to forget. you are an incredible writer — am floored TBH. that said, am still going to have to (re-)read "like brothers" to make myself feel better because despite the wine, everything still hurts.

I’m sorry. That fic is really terrible. I totally understand wanting a palate cleanser after that.

anonymous asked:

What methods of conditioning + torture would Eddie use to keep the growth of his children stunted as you say? Uwu! Really loved the prev one about kids, so please? :**

  • -Castration, if nessecary. Good children have no need for naughty, vulgar bits, he claims.
  • -Breast ironing - to keep girls as long as possible from turning womanly, curvy and feminine.
  • -Chastity devices - to prevent his kids from ever actually having sexual relations or masturbating. Because he wants to preserve their infancy and “innocence” unnaturaly and forcibly for as long as humanly possible.
  • -Insists on virginity and abstinence until adulthood and marriage. Catch is, adulthood and marriage will never actually come.
  • -Nappies, cradles and milk bottles past the age where it stops being nessecary and starts becoming - well - more then humiliating and disturbing.
  • -Having them shave any and every hairy bits they might develop in their teenage \ adolescent years. Eddie doesn’t like reminders that his children are, despite of his best efforts to prevent it, still growing.
  • -Showering them with clothes which neither fit their age-group nor serve it’s purpose or size.
  • -Boys wearing frilly, laced dresses which look like they’ve been recently ripped off the shelf of a typical loli-bazaar and girls are pretty much the same. Nobody wins, basically.
  • -He refuses to understand why his kids wouldn’t want to play with their old toddler well past the age of pre-pubescence and throws tantrums over the issue often.
  • -He forbids his kids developing normal crushes or fangirling \ fanboying. Any potential sweetheart they might have, no matter how pure and meaningless, will probably die.
  • -Nobody dares imagine what happens to actual, fully-fledged significant others.
  • -Strapping them to a feeding chair and playing airplains with spoon-fulls  of food. He thinks it’s all very charming, darling and downright adorable.
  • -Eddie tends to turn fiercly violent and agressive when his kids bring up plans for the future - seeing as how he’s mortified of them actually leaving him.
  • -Carefully, loving binds their feet. He doesn’t like fetching foot-wear that’s higher then a number expected for a toddler. Also, if their toes are crushed beyond repair, they cannot exactly run from daddy, now can they? Win-win for everyone!
  • -He’ll beat their teeth out. Purely to get the impression and preserve the illusion of their baby \ milk teeth still forming and growing.
  • -He insists on personally tucking them in every night and singing the gentlest lullabies he can think of. Kisses them on the forhead too. He thinks it’s precious.
  • -He feeds them too. Mainly syrup, carrot and toddler food. If they even dare tasting “grown-ups yummies” he’ll smash their mouths open. He’ll apologize at least twenty times afterwards, though.
  • -Nobody denies that Eddie is protective and full of concern. Especially not Eddie himself. He’ll get his children whatever they want, whenever they way - thing is - it’s always age-group appropriate. Never expect anything other then plushies. They keep getting bigger and softer with each passing year. Those kids arent certain what father is trying to say.
  • -Uses sound-related torture. Has the tendency of locking his kids into the basement and playing them kiddie songs on loop for 48 hours at a time until they learn their lesson. Luckily, the cellar is entirely soundproof.
  • -Only perk is, he’d never actually sexually assault them. Not ever. Instead, he goes to the other extreme and legitimely bar his children away from ever being able to express their physical needs in any shape, way or form. He claims it’s better that way. It’s for the best. It’s cleaner.
  • -Circumcises the girls. Girls attract way too much attention, anyhow. They’re the origin of the primal sin, after all. He should know.
  • -His kids always refer to him as “dada”, “papa”, “daddy” or “pops”. Nothing more. Nothing less. His full name doesn’t even come into play.
  • -Spanking.Plain, simple, old-fashioned.
  • -Making them sit on his lap while he helps them with their homework easily a decade overdue. He either refuses to see the eerieness in all of this or simply doesn’t understand that his children already finished all the homework and school chores they’d ever need in life several years ago and that the notebooks they’re are tattered, moldy and falling apart by now.
  • -He gets excited about September nonetheless, though. Like, stupidly excited. He narrates about it constantly.
  • -His boys and girls watch nothing but cartoons and Disney movies. The playback recorder literally shows nothing else but re-runs of Ariel on loop, soulfully singing about how she wants to escape to the surface with her Prince and Belle being imprisoned in the Beast’s hellish castle. Eddie again, doesnt want to acknowledge the sheer irony of his choice of watching material.
  • -Sincerely comforting his kids when they’re hurt, scared or crying. What’s the point though? Usually, he’s the reason they’re bawling their eyes out to begin with.
  • -He ties their shoelaces, boops their noses, kisses their cheeks, has them sleep with him after nightmares, bathes them with a yellow rubber duckie, tells them goodnight stories - oh, boy, and it would have been cute and wholesome if his kids probably weren’t grown-ass people who yearn to get away.
  • -Will they ever get away, though? Probably not. Bad, misbehaved children get severely punished, after all. And Eddie, by his own admission, wouldn’t be much of a father if he didn’t also hunt those disobedient punks down and dragged them back home where they belong - forever and ever and ever and ever. Like a happy family.

Another miserable suicidal fucker here who is trying to convince themselves not to drink the damn bottle of metal etching fluid in the closet because what would happen to my dolls? after putting so much time and love into their faceups and outfits, after working on my photography to tell their stories–I know all that art will just fall apart if I go. So I run across roads without looking and I spray MSC in an unventilated room maskless, but I don’t do it, not yet. Not that bottle. If I had cyanide, then maybe, but–who can say? Who can say? I just want the reality to fade enough so I can believe my dolls are real living creatures who will keep me from this, because I’d take caring illusions over the mental health system, where you get locked up in a hospital, like I was before, and they threaten you in closed rooms when you sign a three-day release, and your lover tells you their friends say you’re too much of an emotional burden to love and you can never mend your ways because it’s just the nature of your mental illness, and then the only person you had is gone too, over the phone in the hospital–when I was a child I believed books and toys were my only real friends,because they’d never hurt me the way people did, never tell me I was worthless, and I so wanted to make friends that were people, but now once again–it’s only those small sculpted faces and the plush ones, to smile back at me.

“You need professional help”–no, damned if I will ever be back in that hellhole again, with the violent ones screaming threats and the ones whispering about murder, with the red-haired doctor who told me I would be back there again. No, I’ll take the poison before I go back again; my hope is not in their white lockboxes but in those imaginary worlds and people in my mind, the stories I wrote for my dolls, where even though they walk the valley there is always hope and there is always their love for one another and nobody abandons one another in the shadowlands.

I want to tell my friends in the hobby, want to tell them look look I am dying please but I don’t dare, I don’t want to be an emotional burden to anybody else, I don’t want the things that come with anyone knowing–I’d rather make happy illusions and make people smile as long as I can, till the shadows eat me, till the end–they will never have to know why, if I go dark one day, please, just remember what I did to make you smile, and please smile again.

~Anonymous

anonymous asked:

I wanted to bring my snake into my class for a informative lesson on snakes. Is this a good idea and what should I do to ensure his safety and keep his stress at a minimum?

I wouldn’t recommend it unless you’ve been working with him slowly and deliberately to get him used to groups for at least a few weeks.
This would involve first setting a regular handling schedule for every few days progressing to every other day or so, eventually increasing the amount of people he comes into contact with as well as time spent out. The aim is to make handling a positive space, so he isn’t stressed doesn’t simply “give up” when being handled.
When he’s prepared, you’ll want to set up an emergency travel kit with heat packs/cold packs (depending on your weather), an extra snake bag, bottles of water, etc so if anything happens, you’ll be prepared.
Use a transport carrier that allows for some movement, but is snug, almost like a hide. Make sure to put them in a dark pillowcase/snake bag.
At the zoo we use coolers when travelling with our snakes, just in case we get stranded in the heat, it stays insulated.
Next, make sure to go over rules with the public. We dont let people hold them, for the animals comfort (also because in my experience, people freak out when they start crawling and simply /let them go/. i wish i weren’t exaggerating). To touch, we do a two finger rule and hold the upper part of the snakes head away from the touching hands, with tail towards the touching hands. Cuz.. yknow… anything with a mouth can bite… except anteaters.
Bring hand sanitizer. Perhaps the kind without alcohol. I find lots of people are allergic to that kind.
That’s all i can think of for now. Of course 5 minutes after this posts I’ll realize i forgot something.

Not Again

Originally posted by jizemderler

Characters: Dean Winchester (with mentions of Sam)

Word Count: I was going to do this a a poem, but Dean decided to speak to me so it became a very short drabble… so 230ish words….

Warnings: Angst..

Album and Song: Shots, from the Album Smoke and Mirrors by Imagine Dragons.

A/N: This is my first entry in @mrs-squirrel-chester album challenge, one down 20 to go hehe.. (Trust me to pick an album with 21 songs, oh well!) Hope you guys enjoy….

Keep reading

harley-grunge  asked:

Hi :) so there is a gym close to my house and I really wanna use there equipment but I'm too nervous to show up... what do you wear? Everyone in colorado is so thin but I'm not. Any tips?

hi! wear what you feel comfortable working out in. bring a water bottle. wipe down the machines after you use them (if your gym has it). don’t start off with intense workouts or weights and build yourself up to them. do what you’re able to, not what you want to be able to do. don’t overwork yourself. and bring earphones and a music device so that you can listen to music while working out. good luck, my pretty daisy!

i was tagged by @miss-loaded-roadie​, @zompire-plutopian​, AND @depecheymode​ for this!!! you guys are the best ♥

Five things you’ll find in my bag:
1. phone
2. wallet
3. ipod
4. pens
5. house key (this is such a boring list lmao oh well)

Five things in my bedroom:
1. stuffed animals
2. many bottles of nail polish
3. two DD VIP tags (from last tour and this tour)
4. at least 10 vera bradley bags of varying sizes and colors (…i may have a problem)
5. notebooks from college and grad school

Five things I’ve always wanted to do in life:
1. road trip across the US
2. visit australia (honestly just travel as much as possible)
3. be a teacher
4. does it have to be something realistic?? bc i’ve always wanted to go to space :P
5. and be able to fly

Five things that make me very happy:
1. duran duran
2. music in general
3. concerts
4. my friends
5. my students

Five things I’m currently “into:”
1. clicker heroes (save me from this hell tbh………….)
2. hmmm how about some youtubers i’ve been watching a lot lately
3. like game grumps
4. and jacksepticeye
5. and ashens!

Five things on my to-do list:
1. finish getting ready to go to the mp3 experiment today
2. update my online application for the school i’m interviewing at on monday
3. clean my room (i’ve done parts of it but it’s still pretty bad)
4. wash my car
5. ??? i think that’s about it right now

Five things people may not know about me:
i can’t think of anything new so here’s a list i made a few months ago :P

i’m not sure who’s been tagged to do this already but @flakybandit, @john-taylor-daily, @johnnymarrmite, @soredtherhodes, and @sumthingfornuthing - do it if you want! :D