garrus: you. looked. smokin’. in that dress shepard. me: oh, vakarian, do go on! ;) garrus: you got some looks… me: oh?? ;D garrus: so did i, me: aaaah you’re sassing me, of course, you cheeky, smug bast– garrus: though the ones directed at me said, “how did a turian like that get a girl like her?” …hell if i know. me:oh. [wipes tear] oh, you sweet, precious man, i do not deserve you.
Sooooo, Happy Birthday to the Cutie, the Sailor, The Key Man, the groovy jazz cat, the Duck Imitator, the Genius Richard William Wright!!
You already know how much I love him and his music but I think it is always nice to post or talk more about him because he is so underrated! Happy birthday you precious man, I hope you get a lot of cake, we love you ♥♥♥♥♥
Matsu reaction to his female s/o pregnant with his baby?
((wow this was like, THE most requested imagine. not kidding i have like 20 of this request asfhskd ok here ya go, a lil lengthy but enjoy!))
❤️Oso: “Hah?” He leans back, a confused crooked grin smeared onto his face. You slide little plastic test across the table. “I’m pregnant.” You repeat. His expression stays static as he glances between your eyes and the red lines on the test. He suddenly jumps up, slamming his palms down. “Were gonna have a kid?!” “Ye-” “I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES!!” He shoots his fist up above his head. “I DID IT!!! It was THE ELDEST who won after all!” “Uh…” You tilt your head, a little concerned. “This cements me as the favorite son, ehehehe.” He rubs his finger under his nose. You had expected him to have some sort of reaction to the upcoming responsibility, unless… “Osomatsu.” You interrupt the weird little dance he was now doing. “Yeah, babe?” He looks down to you, enormous grin plastered on his face. “You seem to be taking this surprisingly well.” “Well, duh! I love kids! And mom’s gonna lose it, eheh!!” He happily plops back down onto the floor. “…Being a kid and raising a kid are opposite things, Osomatsu.” You raise an eyebrow, sceptical. “Raise? Eh?” “You’re going to be a father, Osomatsu.” You could see the gears turning in his head as his smile began to falter. His denseness never ceased to amaze you. “F…father.” He mumbles the word as though it had punched him in the gut. His expression is empty and he looks back up at you. “I’m a dad.” You nod. “Oh.” Despite his happiness, the fear of his lifestyle soon to be crumbling from under him was clear in his eyes. “Huh.” He stares at the floor in what appears to be a deep concentration. “Is it still okay to do you?” He glances up. “It should be. Probably at least until third trimester.” “I see~” He grins mischievously.
💙Kara: “Huh?” He stares at you eyes wide, mouth dropped into a little O. “Pregnant? You’re…expecting?” You nod. His thick eyebrows furrow and his eyes are glazed over in forming tears. “My honey! You’re saying that I’ve planted the seed of life into you? That I have fertilized you with my love? That you’re bestowing the beauty of fatherhood unto me?!” You roll your eyes and laugh. “Way to make this moment painful.” Huge tears are already rolling down his face, and he picks up one of your hands and squeezes it. His other hand shakily reaches forward to place on your lower stomach. He honestly looks as though he’s died and gone to heaven. You feel really embarrassed just looking at him, though. He’s too endearing. “A tangible result of our love. Mother Nature’s fusion of our beauty! Our carnal acts of passion bearing fruitful!” You burst out laughing. Taking this as a positive reaction, he squeezes you and continues. “The goddess Eastre has surely smiled upon us, my love. She has painted your womb with life.” Spouting out painful lines really is his forte, but nonetheless his sweet nonsense still manages to tickle you inside. He pulls you into an embrace, and you can feel his tears soak your cheeks and hair. “That’s a weird way of admitting you’re bad at pulling out.” You giggle, and can almost hear the blood rush to his face. “I truly am so happy.” He’s sobbing. You’ve never seen him cry like this. “I’ve jumped into the cycle of life that humans have carried on for an eternity.” He buries his face into your neck, and you smile. This was the true Karamatsu. The precious man you fell in love with. “I cannot wait to meet the fruit of my loins.” Never mind.
💚Choro: He blinks twice, processing what you just told him. He lunges forward, grabbing hold of your shoulders. “P-P-PREGNANT?! You’re pregnant?!” His pin prick pupils are vibrating in place. “Y-yes.” “With my child?!” “Of course with your child!” “Nonono I-I didn’t mean to imply- I just-” His hands fly off your shoulders and onto his own face. “I-I- can’t believe this-” His hands are frantically darting all over his face to confirm he’s awake. “I’m- I’m s-so happy!!!” Huge tears explode from his eyes and his little triangle smile is so big it could rival Jyushimatsu’s. “There’s so much to do!! I need to call my family right away!! We need to begin to do research, ah you should look into a healthy diet for each trimester, of course I’m going to need to begin babyproofing…I’ll start to look for a real job tonight too, and it’s never too early to invest in a college fund!” His finger was doing the stupid waggling thing it does when he’s on a rising rant. How did he have time to catch his breath? You weren’t sure where one sentence ended and one began. “We should start playing classical music for it immediately, and some idol works so that it will have taste in the best genres as well! I’ll definitely need to look into tutors so they can stay ahead of their work and not slack off. I’m worried the NEET mindset might be genetic, the fact that all of my brothers-” His face pales. “What if it splits?” He murmurs, and you can practically feel the dread in the pit of his stomach. “What?” He throws himself backwards onto the floor screaming. “What if you have a multiple birth?! What if you have sextuplets?! It could be some sort of family curse, oh god!” “I still question how mom survived us, the chances for you would be-!!!” You cup his cheeks in your hands and smile. “It’ll be fine.” You confidently whisper. He gazes at you with tearstained eyes, and then anxiously smiles. His dumb little frog grin is so sweet.
💜Ichi: His dark eyes stare into your soul. “Eh?” “I’m pregnant.” You repeat. His eyes widen, and he searches your expression. “Pregnant.” He echoes. His pupils shrink and he desperately searches the room, in a state of panic. He lets out a scream and tries to shit on the table. …After dealing with his panic attack or- whatever that was, the two of you sit in silence on your bed. “T-this is real?” You nod. “I…got you pregnant.” You nod. “The disgusting sludge I left in you got you knocked up.” You nod yet again. “My garbage, piece of shit sperm crawled up far enough.” You’re becoming increasingly uncomfortable with how he’s phrasing this. You aren’t sure what to do, so you just rest your hand on top of his. He begins to tremble, a second wave of panic coming on. He grabs his head in frustration. “AAUUGHHH AKATSUKA-SENSEEEEEEEIIIIIII!!!!” His raspy voice cracks as he yells. “Do you not want it?” You questing him, voice full of concern. “NO- I mean- YES- I mean…” He pauses, now shaking uncontrollably. “I don’t…not…want…” He mumbles. “I just can’t be a father.” You notice his eyes are forming little tears at the corners. “Why did you choose me, I’m worthless. Unburnable trash with no will to live. I can’t make a kid’s life anything but shitty.” You run your fingers through his hair. “You’ve raised so many kittens. You’re a natural.” He’s silent for a a while, seemingly contemplating on the situation. He finally sighs. “My mother will die when I tell her. She’ll love this.” He cracks a small (yet seemingly diabolical) toothy grin. “I’ll be the new favorite son.” You smile and squeeze his hand. He’s finding positivity, that’s good. It’s hard for him to. “And even if most of their uncles and even their own father will be shit, at least you’ll be there for all of them.” You’re touched by this, though his wording registers as strange. You search his face in confusion. “All of them?” “Th…the kids?” “I’m…probably just having one.” His scruffy little eyebrows furrow. “It’s…your first time, so you should have two or three…right? You probably…won’t have sextuplets your first time like mom did.” “Uhhh.” You glance back and forth. Were you missing a joke? “Ichimatsu.” “Hm.” “You know that…humans don’t have litters right?” A long silence. “Yeah.” He totally didn’t know.
💛Jyushi: “Ah.” He makes ‘the face’ and raises a floppy sleeve to cover his mouth. “Ne, ne, you’re saying there’s a baby in you?” “Well, soon there will be.” He lowers his sleeve, and he looks at you with an expression of complete whimsy. It’s rare to see Jyushimatsu like this. “Ahhh~” A lowered hum of understanding reverberates from his throat, and the smile now on his face feels so much more powerful than usual. “Jyushi-” Before you can speak he leaps on you. “MY ULTIMATE HOMERUN~!!!” He rubs his face against yours, and plants kisses that feel more like licks across your cheeks. “UWOOAH~!! WER'E GONNA HAVE A BABY!!! YOU’RE MAJORLY THE BEST!!! THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND ONE, TWO, HOMERUN!” The two of you lose balance and fall to the floor, but this does not deter his grip on you in the slightest. He begins to happily roll around with you. “Our baby! Our baby! It’ll be so much fun to play with!!” He laughs obnoxiously loud inches from your ear. “I’m gonna teach it how to be the ultimate pitcher!!! Or batter!!!! They can choose!” You shoot a concerned smile and reach to pat his head. “But if they don’t like baseball that’s alright too.” You hope you can keep his hopes from being TOO high. “Mm! It might like cats, like Ichimatsu-niisan! Or cute stuff, like Totty! Or ugly sparkly stuff, like Karamatsu-niisan! Ah. They’ll have to meet my brothers as soon as they can! It’s in your tummy right now, right? We can show them right now!!!” “Wh-” Before you can protest, he picks you up and sprints down the road at record speed.
💖Todo: “Uwaaa, a baby?! We’re pregnant?!” His eyes are bigger than saucers, and his mouth is curled into a tiny bright grin. You hand him a plastic test, and he happily squeals and snatches it from you. “Oh y/n!!!! I’m a daddy!” His eyes are sparkling, and he has the most precious pink glow on his cheeks. Suddenly his face contorts in disgust and he drops the test. “Eegh wait, you peed on this thing, right?” “Uhm, yeah. That’s how they work.” You smirk. He silently pulls sanitizer from his pocket and disinfects his hands. “But seriously, honey!!!” He drops the little bottle behind him. “This is scary, but so exciting! We’ll have the cutest little kid in the world, ehehe~” He clasps his hands together. “I’ll do my best raising them at home!” Your smile drops. “What do you mean…?” “Well, somebody has to stay with the child and keep the house tidy.” He cocks his head. “And that somebody is you?” You cross your arms. “Of course! I’d be the best househusband ever.” He taps a finger to his cheek. “So I’ll be the one working?” You quizzically stare him down. “Not while you’re pregnant, of course not!” “Shouldn’t you be the one to work?” You raise an eyebrow. “y/n, y/n, y/n~! You know I’m not one to follow gender roles!” A snarky little smile grows on his face. You sigh. “It’ll work out best that way anyways. This house had BETTER be spotless every day, though!” “Yes!!!!” He happily jumps on you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “I love you so much! We’ll do our best~!!”
BONUS ALLMATSU: You have all six of them gathered on the couch. “What’s going on?” Oso whines and throws his head back. “I was just about to go out and plaaaaay!” Choro pokes him. “y/n has to say something, and you will respect her!” “Uhm.” You stand in front of them, twiddling your thumbs, and they all immediately snap to attention. “I’m pregnant.” You announce into the silence, searching their expressions. Confused stares quickly become giant smiles and they all jump up to congratulate you. Your ears are ringing with their simultaneous voices . “Are you serious y/n?!” “You’re quite certain, my honey?” “I wouldn’t have thought…!” “I can’t believe it…” “EHH?! A BABY??” “y/n, that’s huge news~!!” And suddenly the question pierces your eardrums at exactly the same time. “Who’s the father???” They stare at you, excited and expectant. “Uh.” You were hoping they were bright enough to know not to ask this. “All of you?” “No, no, which one of us knocked you up?” Osomatsu excitedly questions. “I don’t know.” You look away from them. “We’ll need to acquire a DNA test, then.” Karamatsu rests his chin on his thumb. “We’ll love it no matter which of us is the dad!!!” Jyushimatsu happily shouts. They all nod in agreement. “Guys. You’re identical. There’s no accurate test in existence to figure that out. You all have the exact same genes anyways? It’s literally all of yours. It doesn’t matter who- uh- ‘fathered’ it.” They all seem to be a little heartbroken. Did it…really matter that much to them? “Well.” Osomatsu rubs under his nose. “I have the biggest dick, so there’s like, a 99% chance of it being me.” You flinch at his comment, and his brothers seem to be less than pleased at his bullshit. You decide to leave the room right as another enormous feud breaks out. So is THIS why polyandry is not usually a thing?