so halloween baking...
  • Dan: Dan and Phil festive action!
  • Dan: let's not personify the bowl, we'll have fanficion before we know it
  • Dan: [licks peanut butter from spoon Phil is holding] that's what you subscribed for
  • Dan: teach me dad
  • Dan: god, I just wanna pour that all over my body
  • Dan: cmon Phil lick that spatula! [puts camera closer] cmon Phil give them what they want! oh, sweet shit.
  • Dan: [puts hood up to show horns] now I'm horny..... whoops. reverse!
  • Dan: [singing] half an hour has passed! what do I want in here? I want your ass........ so we can open the fridge....
  • me: why are you like this


I’ve been trying to get Zen’s bad ending for like a week now but fckikn Zen still loves me no matter how many times I break his heart!!??? I swear I’ve been choosing only bad answerrssss!!! 


favorite funny lines from the invitation:

  • i saw something in the water, and i was like “no thanks!”
  • “whatever that little girl saw will be a mystery forever” -robot appears-
  • hostile cylinders immobilized. engaging hostile bobbleheads
  • i’ll help you finn! help me finn!
  • you got this finn mertens. youre a buff little bionic baby
  • :) i feel like that ship might have been important, but im fine
  • “and so will we” “no we wont” “ughhhhh”
  • we dont need a boat! dont you remember? with a little imagination i can be anything you eveeer…. eh i lost focus. hey can we borrow your boat? 
  • AND we care about him you dingus, CMON!

whipple the happy dragon:

  • majestic animal in distress! lets go lets go!
  • catapult me jake
  • we deserved that
  • and im the bad boy, jake
  • whipple, youre the greatest! whipple you suck so much
  • “STOOOOOP" “bmo, you stowed away?!” “who cares give me the earplugs!!”
  • full steam ahead. not like that!
  • i dont care about this cupcake party one bit joshua
  • “remember we love you!” “even tho youre really letting us down”
  • sorry we said youre annoying. or sorry we didnt say that earlier?
  • thats not really an answer, but we will
The signs at the beach
  • Aries: but like... do we have to go? I don't think I can handle going out twice in one day
  • Taurus: as long as we bring a picnic or something I'm keen
  • Gemini: *swims... fuckkk it's cold... imma tough it out tho... yeah nah it's too cold.
  • Cancer: *pretends they know how to swim well but gets in over their head... literally, haha
  • Leo: guyssss be careful k? You're all so dumb honestly
  • Virgo: I'll save you!! *jumping in the water and showing off their amazing skills
  • Libra: cmon guys you're so slow, come enjoy the water
  • Scorpio: *stripping down to their bikini immediately... so... where are the boys?
  • Sagittarius: are you telling me I can't wear my sneakers in the sand? Watch me...
  • Capricorn: where are the paddle boards at tho?
  • Aquarius: *being extra in the water
  • Pisces: GUYS COME IN THE WATER!! *doesn't leave the water for like 2 hours straight

People joking about the part distribution in Spring Day are alright in my book, but if you’re up in here screaming and throwing a fit about how Hobi only had background parts I’m like…..fam cmon…..

Go listen to YNWA. Hobi has a GREAT part. Distribution usually gives someone the short end of the stick, and it’s been a usual pattern throughout the albums.Also, Hobi had SOOOO many amazing parts in WINGS. Appreciate the fantastic parts he does have in their songs, and look at the lyrics and the meaning BTS is trying to portray instead of sitting there focusing on one minor thing or another! Listen to their message and appreciate the meaning behind the lyrics and video they’ve crafted

Good day to youuuuuuuuu–

  • sportacus: specifically written to not force or preach to others what to do and instead lead by example
  • fanfiction: thinks its opposite day
Lost in the Woods

Requested by anon: “Can you do a negan imagine where you were alone in the woods and didn’t have a group and he finds you and like the reader is kinda shyish. I don’t really care if it goes smutty or fluffy or anything. Either is fine :3 thank yoou~”

Word Count: 1,550

Warning(s): smut, unprotected sex (cmon guys), cursing, Negan’s dirty mouth

(okay, i got my computer fixed! Also, this is my first smut, please bear with me.)


You’ve been wandering around the woods for what felt like weeks now. The group that you were once with had accidentally left you behind when a herd of walkers started to attack. You thought that maybe searching for them was the right idea, but boy were you wrong. There was not one person in sight and you were running low on both food and water.

This is just my luck, you thought to yourself. You had always had the worse luck and it seemed to just be getting worse as the days rolled on. All you wanted to do was sleep in the nice RV that your group had and dream of what the world could be instead of what it was.  

You were about to give up and just slump against a tree when you noticed a back of what looked like a man. Your feet thought faster than your mind and before you knew it, you were directly behind him. You suddenly come intimidated as you noticed a bar covered in barbed wire bar, covered in blood perched up on his shoulder. Before you decided to dash or get his attention, he turned to you.

“Well, what the fuck do we have here, doll?” This mans voice sounded like butter. It made you want to melt.

“Are you gonna answer me or are you some damn mute?” He was getting was getting a little impatient with you, but when he noticed you staring, he couldn’t help but smirk at you.

You gathered up the courage and started to form words. “(Y/N). My name is (Y/N).”

This mystery man looked your up and down, licking his lips as he took in your features. You didn’t even know this man, but seeing him lick his lips absolutely made your knees tremble.

“The name is Negan and what the fuckin’ fucking could I do for you, (Y/N)?” He asked, stepping close to you.

You began to explain how your group had left you behind. You also explained that you needed a place to stay. The woods wasn’t helping you at all.

Negan seemed to take the into consideration, but not before trying to bargain with you. “Now, doll. If I take you back to my sanctuary, what the hell could you do for me?”

You thought about all the things you could do for him, good and bad. You hadn’t seen a man so handsome in a long time and all your hormones were going haywire. It wasn’t like you to be so forward, but this Negan brought it out of you.

Just looking and this man, made you feel like you could actually combust from all the feelings flowing throughout your body. There was just something about him, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Your body wanted him, but your mind kept telling you what a bad idea it was to play along with him, but you didn’t give a shit at the moment. If he wanted to play a game, you would gladly join him.

“What would you like me to do, sir?” As soon as the word sir had left your mouth, you could see his eyes darken. It was like something him had a switch and you had just flipped it with a simple word.

Negan pulled your body against his. Against your thigh, you could feel his start to harden. Feeling him so hard was making him want you right then and there, but seeing as he had some men with him, you couldn’t.

“What do you fuckin’ say we could back to my sanctuary and we can repay me?” Negan asked as he pulled you to the truck, the other men following.

You couldn’t seem to find words, being shy all over again so all you could do was nod.


The ride to wherever this sanctuary was short, but it felt like forever as you kept staring at Negan. He kept adjusting himself in his pants and it was making your mouth water. All you wanted him to do was to have you. It was like in that moment that you felt that you needed him more than food and water.

The truck came to a stop and just like everybody else, you got out. It seemed safe in this place, but as Negan stepped out, everyone kneeled. When you saw this happen, you know that Negan was the man in charge here which made you way wetter than you already were.

Negan swung the bat, which you learned was named Lucille, over his leather classes shoulder. He motioned you to follow him inside, and that you did.

The walk held a comfortable silent between the two of you, but it also held so much tension. You could feel how tight the sexual tension was between the two of you, it made your chest tight and all you senses heighten.

Both you and Negan came to a stop as he began to open, what you assumed, was his rooms door. When he opened it he looked at you. “Ladies first, doll.”

You made your way through the door and looked around. His room was something you hadn’t seen for a long time. Everything was so organized and luxurious. It was like the apocalypse never even happened in this room.

Before you could think anymore, you felt him press his body against you, feeling his warmth.

“You seem nervous. Do I making you fucking nervous.” He asked softly, taking right against your ear.

You shook your head no, trying to be as bold as you possible could.

Negan’s hands wound up wrapping around your waist, just as you felt sloppy kisses against your neck. Feeling his rough beard along with soft lips made your quietly moan. This man definitely knew what he was doing.

“Oh cmon now. There’s no need to be that damn quiet. Let everyone know who’s making you feel good.” Negan continued to kiss your neck, along with slipping his hand into the front of your pants, causing you to get goosebumps all over your body.

Negan groaned in your ear as he felt how wet you were. “Do you feel how fucking wet you are? You’re practically dripping for me doll.”

Hearing Negan talk so dirty turned you on even more. It was like he was switching ever nerve in your body on and you had no control over it.

With permission, he led you own on his bed and began to strip you, kissing over the body parts that he left naked. Once he saw your naked body beneath him, he hardened more. You wanted, no needed him, but he wasn’t going to let you have him that easy.

You felt his lips begin to kiss up your long legs and your body let out little whimpers the closer he got to your pussy.

“I bet your taste fucking delicious,” was the last thing your heard before Negan’s had disappeared between your legs.

His tongue was like a magic stick. Slowly rolling around against your clit and over your pussy lips. You couldn’t help but let out a long moan as he licked a long stripe down your folds. Negan new exactly what you liked and he was doing a great job.

Just as your were about to come undone, he stopped. When you felt him move his face away, you let out an annoyed little huff of hair, needed more.

Negan began to strip in front of you, giving you a little show.

“Don’t you fucking worry, your about to get what you want, doll.” He started to stroke his cock which was definitely the hottest thing you had ever seen in your life. Watching a man play with himself was undeniably so sexy.

Negan sat in between your legs, rubbing his cock against your wetness, trying to get it lubed up. Once he felt like it was good enough, he slowly slid in, letting you feel every inch, every vein of his cock.

You could hear him growl as your pussy clenched around him, making him thrusts his hips faster.

Between the bed frame knocking against the wall, the sound of skin slapping against skin and the moans coming from both you and Negan, someone had to know what was going on.

Suddenly, you could feel the familiar ball tightening in your stomach. You were about to come undone and you could tell he was by how sloppy his thrusts were getting.

All it took was one more deep, hard thrust from Negan and boom. The both of you had come undone and you couldn’t help to let a loud moan of his name slip pass your lips as he let out a long string of profanities.

After catching his breath, he pulled out, but you stood still. It was like your body was on fire and it feel oh so good.

Finally, you settled down and looked over at Negan. He was already dressed, but still looked good.

“So what doing you think, huh? You think you’re gonna fucking like it here?” He asked your with a smirk.

You didn’t have time to think of a good enough answer before the words left your lips, “oh, I’m definitely going to fucking like it here.”

Originally posted by jdm-negan-mcnaughty

anonymous asked:

ppl on twitter are hating on kookie cause somehow screen/line distributions are his fault and making fun of his dance/voice/looks and I'm so sad i just want to hug him he is a hardworking sweet boy with a playful devil side ;(( i am now a jin AND jungkook bias because i need to protect the precious memebabies

Omgggggg ughhhhhh

Listen do you really think that kookie is going to say to the members “OK YALL GIVE ME ALL THE LINES, PLUS THE SCREEN TIME, AND DONT FORGET TO PUT ME IN THE CENTER, BTW IM THE NEW BOSS”
Like cmon…….
Yall forgot about the story behind Begin? Do you REALLY really think that Jungkook chose to have a lot of lines or screen time?

Don’t get me wrong, I want Jin to sings more because he’s my fav vocal in BTS, but hating on Jungkook won’t change anything.
I really hope Jungkook won’t read or see all the hateful tweets

i dont fucking understand why someone would say ‘well shouldnt you go to one of these (neo-nazi speech giving events) and find out what they have to say’ like cmon are you really that stupid i fucking know what they have to say, coward. i am inundated with it every day. people fall over themselves to say it to me or my friends in everyday life

anonymous asked:

Dating Steve headcon?

yessss i gotchu! thanks for requesting!! - (sorry these are kinda long i got slightly carried away)
(also i know i have a few requests long overdue and im working on them but it’s been a lil tough juggling school)
(thank u sm for bein patient ily <3)


dating steve hcs

  • b prepared for loving insults and/or #roastingsessions
  • butt touching!!! let’s b real…he’s always grabbin ur ass
    • like he’ll stick his hand in ur back pocket aT THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE TIMES
    • like “steve what R U DOIN”
    • “gettin the lint outta ur back pocket, duh” or something like
    • “ur butt looked cold”
  • he is always pickin you up to move u out of the way
    • “cmon you’re in the way" 
    • “steve i don’t wanna move rn" 
    • “fine have it ur way” - and he’ll literally pick u up and then put u down where you’re not in the way
  • he’s always hookin u up with chocolate cake when Aunt Flo is visitin (u feel me?)
    • you’re lucky he loves u enough to go and share his cake w u
    • car  s e x!!!
  • he’s always tryin to teach u about cars and car talk w u
    • he actually teaches u how to replace ur brake pads and how to jump start a car w a dead battery
  • car rides = his hand on ur thigh
    • like always
    • so often that when soda is in the car w him he forgets and puts his hand on sodas thigh by accident
    • “listen man I get ur in love or whatever but can we please talk about something else”
    • “cmon i didn’t finish my story, so we were-”
    • “and I’m getting to the interesting part so listen”
  • he’s literally the heaviest fucking sleeper so when u cuddle and he falls asleep have fun being slept on by a fucking rock
  • he’ll purposely slam the brakes while ur eating or drinking something in his car and then he’ll lowkey get upset u spilled whatever u were holding
    • “what dO U WANT ME TO DO”
  • he is the mESSIEST EATER omG
    • and u gotta remind him to wipe his face or hands or soMETHING
    • and then he’ll wipe it half-assed and miss the spot completely
    • so u gotta wipe it urself
  • he’s always threatening every guy who looks @ u too long
    • he actually almost beat up pony bc he was probably staring at  something u had on ur face or shirt
    • “hey what do u THINK UR DOIN KID”
    • “steve she has grease on her face”
    • “sO WHAT”
  • omg steve literally always wanting ur attention
    • u could be talking to almost anyone and he’ll hold u from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist
    • “it’s been forever since i’ve seen u”
    • “steve i was at ur house last night”
    • “exactly” “long time no see”

anonymous asked:

Today sucked so can I get some fluff headcanons please? I need some happiness in my life ~Emoji Anon 🐰 P.s. I love your writing!

we hope you’re not having a bad day anymore and we sincerely hope this will make your day even when you’re having the best day of your life! 
and thank you! we wouldn’t be writing anything if it weren’t for everyone’s request!
you didn’t specify who you wanted so we’ll go with our default line-up!


  • mama jaehee knows how to take care of you. come here bby i mean cmon, she works for jumin, bad days are basically everyday 
  • she knows how you feel man, she’s got you
  • tiem for cuddles and soft kisses
  • would you like tea or coffee or hot chocolate to go with that?
  • she’ll advise you to talk it out, if you need it she’ll give you some advice
  • if you don’t wanna talk about it, she’ll let you cuddle up against her and put on some chill music


  • this boi is ready to fight anyone and anything
  • treats you even more like a princess because how  d a r e  someone hurt you
  • makes you food and tries to hang out with you all day the next day 
  • takes you up to the rooftop so the both of you can look at the stars all night long
  • tries his best to distract you from your bad day by singing and acting for you 
  • makes you dance with him too because he’s a sucker for ballroom dancing around the house with no music on


  • omg. if you cry, he’s gonna start tearing up 
  • yandere!yoosung coming out, who tf dares hurt his one and only. he will obliterate you
  • takes a break from LOLOL because he can’t play games when you’re sad!! Y OU N EE D I  MME DI AT E CA RE
  • will shower you with hugs and kisses and cuddles
  • tries to make your favourite dessert or dish to cheer you up a little
  • lowkey wishes he was like zen or jumin so he “protect” you properly and stuff


  • who does he need to sue
  • what do you mean that’s unnecessary. you’re having a bad day. tell assistant kang-
  • honestly, he doesn’t know how to react because mr. no feelings over here can’t relate
  • you’d have to find a way to tell him about your feelings by linking it to when he’s feeling shitty 
  • boy are you gonna have a hard time explaining Emotions™ to him
  • by the time you’re finished you aren’t feeling that bad anymore tbh (smh jumin one job)


  • gives you heelies to let you escape from your feelies
  • i mean he isn’t the best at comforting people but he still tries so that’s something right?
  • he’s all flustered and doesn’t know what to do and he’ll try literally anything to get you to feel less bad. ice cream? memes? cuddles? wanna talk it out over tea? a day out? he just wants you to be less sad qAq
  • when he finds the trick that works best with you, he’ll remember it and from time to time will switch it up a little so you won’t ever feel it’s repetitive. 
  • if someone is directly involved in making you sad he’ll destroy them through his god-like hacking skills. rip their work, image and social life
  • he’ll try to pay more attention to you and your surroundings so he can prevent you from being hurt again


  • doesn’t look like it but is soooo ready to punch someone
  • he’ll try to take your mind of off things too. and he knows exactly how to cheer you up and stuff because he’s actually pretty observant
  • if he ever comes across the poor soul that hurt you he’ll be lowkey salty about it but not so much that they would know he’s being salty towards them
  • wants only the best for you, he’ll pamper you so much like everything you want he’ll do everything and anything to get it for you
  • plans like surprise dates for you because he knows you need this
  • he doesn’t believe in destroying someone but he’ll be very cautious around them and a few other suspicious people


  • he doesn’t really get your sadness and stuff but he can probably relate since he was locked up in mint eye for so long too. (i mean his bound to yknow feel sad sometimes too you know.)
  • if he ever finds that person who made you sad he’ll death glare them to the death
  • brings you your favourite ice cream because that’s one of the few comforting things he knows how to do
  • he really wants to hug you and just hold and/or cuddle with you but he’s too shy and doesn’t know how to initiate the contact. it’s still a weird concept to him but if it makes a huge difference he will try 
  • he doesn’t exactly know how to comfort someone too, he’s not used to being comforted so of course, he doesn’t really know how to comfort someone
  • he’s trying his best so all the intimate things will take time

disability (or disease) au’s: diabetes!

  • “your favorite character died in this book/movie so now you’re grieving by staying in bed all day long and NOT answering my texts and dude, have you even taken your insulin?? ITS JUST A CHARACTER I WONT LET U DIE OVER THIS” 
  •  “me and my hubby just gave birth to our beautiful child who loves to sing and dance and play hide and seek with mommy’s/daddy’s insulin! we can’t really get mad tho so babe cmon just find where it’s hidden before i die ok” 
  •  “you have ADHD so remembering to take ur insulin always slips your mind and you always remember in the most silent of places and scare the shit out of me by yelling “fucKING HELL” and running out of the room” 
  •  “it’s a cause for celebration but since you can’t have too much sugar we set out a platter of cakes and treats for you to take your pick of. and while this seemed like a nice idea, dude, seriously just hurry tf up—I know that ice cream goes with that cake but u can’t have both alright” 
  •  “you had to prick your finger to test your glucose levels and as soon as I saw that drop of blood I hit the floor” 
  •  “you’re deathly afraid of needles so just out of friendship and slight unrequited love I come over every day and help u take your insulin, which includes you squeezing my hand like you’re giving birth to a 10 pound baby”

anonymous asked:

actually chris said that it wasnt him running that kai twitter acc

Oh I know exactly what Chris said, but it was the way he said it!

When I saw this tweet, my first thought was: That literally sounds like something Kai would say! Like, I’m picturing:

Damon: Did you blow up that building?!
Kai: Nooooo of course not! Wish I could take credit though, whoever did it was super clever!!
Caroline: *looks at the camera like she’s on The Office*

Next up is the selfies, now maybe these were posted somewhere else first and I just missed it, but “Kai” had access to the actual photos taken on set - these weren’t just screencapped from the episode.

Now Chris also posted this photo later at 6:18pm the same day, with the caption “No comment.”

And finally, “Kai” tweeted about Chris encouraging people to follow him:

AND CHRIS REPLIED 1 SINGLE MINUTE LATER. Y’know, 1 minute, approximately the time it takes to log out of one twitter account and into another.

And again, the way he says this just feels like a joke to me! He seriously doesn’t run it guys, don’t trust anything he says… *wink wink*

Batdad Headcanon

Everyone posts about the Batkids sleeping in random spots and sure, they maybe do, but also those kids probably have hella energy. You know who doesn’t have a ton of energy? People getting older.

Bruce juggles the mask, the board meetings, JL stuff. And he’s a good dad, so he does dad stuff– not all the time, but here and there. And he’s always so TIRED and doesn’t like being reminded that he’s getting older, he’s not 19 or 23 anymore.

So, one of the boys wants to hang out, watch a show.

“Cmon Bruce just one episode of GoT.”
Sure, he’s up for it, but fifteen minutes in, Tim looks over and Bruce is dead asleep on the couch, sitting up.

“I’m going to prune the basil,” Damian announces and Bruce joins him outside with a book. Ten minutes and Bruce is asleep in a garden chair.

“Hey, listen to this guy I heard play nouveau jazz last night,” Dick says, connecting his phone to the living room Bluetooth speakers. Third song, Bruce is out in the armchair.

It becomes a sort of silent contest, who can keep him up the longest or get him to fall asleep the fastest. Bruce is maybe aware but is a mix between irritated and amused. They sometimes pretend to be annoyed but are secretly comforted by the fact that he feels so at ease with them.