you-both-suck!

Oswald snapping at Ed that the name “The Riddler” isn’t terrifying enough. As if people would be more terrified by The PENGUIN. You both suck on villainously nicknames u fashion trash drama queens.

  • BTS planning new album&comeback
  • RM: so I was thinking we do the same concept..kinda..like we should totally have solos again
  • Suga: I like that..I have a list of people to diss
  • Jimin: can I be blindfolded again?
  • BTS: what
  • Jimin: what
  • Taehyung: CAN I PLEASEE PLESEE PRETTY PLEASE FEATURE IN CY
  • Rap-line: NO
  • Taehyung: even if I pay y
  • Rap-line: NO
  • Jungkook: I'm thinking we should do something new with our solos, like the rap-line could sing for a change and we will rap instead
  • Suga: can you even write your own lyrics to begin with
  • Jungkook: totally, here's something I wrote before sleep last night. (Clears throat) Jimin is so immature I'm done with his childsplay
  • I may be younger than Jimin but I'm bigger in every way ;)))
  • Jimin: (clears throat) you little shit it's hyung for you because I was born in Busan first
  • Jungkook: ...that didn't even rhyme dude...
  • Suga: you both suck so stfu
  • Jimin: can I at least be blindfolded again..
  • BTS:
  • RM: CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS AND GET BACK ON THE SUBJECT!!
A Little Something About The Tangy and The Tart

I cannot believe it has been so long since I posted and I’m sorry, truly, that it’s taken me forever and a day to get my ass in gear. But due to recent events, I felt inspired to write something and I’m actually really, really happy with how this turned out!

Also, I owe a huge thank you to @permanentcross for giving me advice and reassuring me this wasn’t crap and to @canistay-haz for being her wonderful, loving self and telling me I don’t suck. You both are so, so lovely and I’m lucky that I can ask you for advice when I’m not confident in my writing.

That being said, enjoy!

Warning: NSFW

Masterlist


Normally, Saturday mornings would be reserved for sleeping in, lazy kisses, and barely audible gasps filling your ears. Today however, you and Harry had to be somewhat functioning adults. You were having one last get together with Harry’s closest friends and family before his life was sent into the spotlight for who knows how long, and he didn’t get to be as free and open with his time as he had been. 

You woke up about half an hour after Harry did, knowing you had things to do and people to see but you were having none of it. All you could think about was the slight yet very-much-still-there tingling sensation between your legs thanks to yours and Harry’s late night rendezvous. You smiled to yourself, rolling over and letting your face collide into Harry’s pillow, inhaling his lingering scent that made you want him all over again… 

You made your way downstairs to your boyfriend, legs bare and torso covered in his ridiculously baggy pink shirt that was littered with the white polka dots, your rear just barely peeking out at the bottom hem. Harry was sporting only a pair of grey joggers that hung much too low on his hips, not that you were complaining. 

“Morning, sunshine.” You wrapped your arms around his waist, peppering his back with tiny pecks.

“G’morning, poppet. Sleep okay?” Every morning after, without fail, he asks how you slept. He asks because he knows when you’re both in the heat of the moment, sex isn’t gentle. Not that it’s animalistic, but you and Harry like what you like and making sure you’re comfortable and properly taken care of after is an essential part of his aftercare routine; he’ll be damned if he doesn’t take care of you and pamper any part that might be slightly bruised or extra loved on. He does love a routine after all…

“Mhm,” you purr into his back, pecking his skin once more before he spins around in your grasp, your arms falling to your sides while he places one hand on your cheek and encloses your mouth with his.

“Good,” he smiles down at you, pecking your cheek before turning back to the countertop where you can see he’s been preparing a dessert for the get together later that night. 

“Whatcha makin’?” you ask, hopping upon the countertop, legs swinging back and forth while eyeing the bowl of plain raspberries and the graham cracker crust that was still sitting in the tart pan Harry insisted he needed.

“How does a raspberry tart for tonight sound? Bought the pan, figured there was no use in letting it sit in the cupboard.”

You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle. There was nothing comical about the dessert in and of itself, but you were feeling some type of way this morning and you couldn’t help but think of it in a provocative way.

Harry rolled his eyes, trying not to grin, “Why is that funny?”

You just giggled again and reached to kiss him on the cheek, “Maybe I wanna be your little raspberry tart. I already have the perfect shirt on.” Although you’d been sitting on the countertop for a good minute already, Harry had just noticed how his shirt had ridden up your thighs and he swallowed hard, also taking in how you had only the bottom two buttons fastened and there was little, if anything, left to the imagination. What Harry didn’t know was that you didn’t have anything covering the part of you that wanted him the most; he figured you’d just thrown on something skimpy just to torture him but no, you were completely bare, apart from the bottom of the hem under your bum, and sitting on your boyfriend’s counter. Harry didn’t have a prayer. 

You smirked at him cheekily and even though you’d had him not even eight hours before, he could tell you still had an appetite for something else, something that filled you in a different way. 

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I’ve never done an ‘Imagine’ before so please bear with me. This little idea wouldn’t leave my head so I had to write it.

Originally posted by knightlley

Imagine you being best friends with Tony and Clay. You’re the one girl who’s either oblivious to all the cute boys around you and/or you’re the one girl who brushes off all flirtatious comments thrown at you. However, there is one boy who’s truly interested in you and he finally decides to make it known when Valentine’s Day rolls around.

Jeff X Reader

Walking through the school hall, you wrinkle your nose at the red and pink paper hearts adorning the walls. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and posters advertise dollar carnations so you can buy your Valentine all he/she deserves. It’s not that you have anything against the Hallmark holiday, it’s just.. all so pink and definitely not one of your favorite colors.

You make it to gym, pasting on a frown as you trudge inside. Making a beeline for the coach, you pass over a note and wait patiently as it’s read. The coach scoffs, you bite back a smirk and then trudge over to the bleachers when the coach grunts in acknowledgement of having read the note before waving you off. When you stomp halfway up said bleachers, you let your book bag fall with a content sigh before laying down on your stomach on one of the bleacher seats while pillowing your head atop your crossed arms. 

“You look cozy,” you hear Tony’s familiar voice say. “What excuse is it this time?”

“Killer cramps and a heavy flow. I enjoy grossing out the coach.” Cracking open an eye, you see Tony decked out in gym wear sitting right in front of you, grinning. “Having a vagina really has it’s perks.”

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We simultaneously portray these rival countries as …

1) rapidly militarizing, unstable supervillains who must be dealt with swiftly, but also

2) inept buffoons with a far inferior military whom the U.S. would crush instantly in any action.

These two somehow-not-conflicting notions then dovetail perfectly to help us both justify a war and make said war seem super easy and winnable. It’s really a perfect propaganda tool for our military – citizens are not gonna rush to enlist for some war where it sounds like they’ll definitely be killed. But do you actually feel “afraid” of Kim Jong-un at all? Don’t you feel like, 70 percent sure you could take him in an arm wrestling match or a game of darts, even though you definitively suck at both? Why do you suppose that is?

Take this New York Post headline. Piggyback rides! North Korea looks like some new CBS Hogan’s Heroes reboot that’s now called HOGAN and somehow features no Asian actors. And sure, The Post is a tabloid that can squeeze a full goofy article out of “Guy kind of looks like he’s on another guy,” but consider these other North Korea headlines it printed this month alone.

North Korea is a credible threat that’s hellbent on destroying the U.S. and its Pacific allies, but fortunately, it also consists of a bunch of piggyback-riding children playing dress-up who we’ll crush in eight seconds as soon as we’re finally like “fiiiine” and get around to doing it.

This same pattern was extremely evident in the lead-up to the Iraq War.

How Our Military Uses The News As Marketing For Recruitment

First Date with Peter Maximoff Would Include ...

Originally posted by 1-800-boys

Tagging: @quicksilverbells @grynaszeme  @cantcountfandoms @notsofastmaximoff and @crysxtal

  • He’s so excited for your first date he can’t stop smiling and speeding about
  • He asks Kurt to help him plan your date
  • He knows you two get on and Kurt’s such a sweetie pie Peter knows that his ideas will be so cute
  • Peter ends up taking you out for bowling and food
  • One; because you both love food!
  • Two; because Kurt wouldn’t stop bugging him that diners and bowling alleys were where American dates happened in the films!
  • So you’re sat opposite him in a booth and you can see he’s trying not to smile too much but his dimples are popping through
  • Just the sight of them is making your stomach do the flip flop
  • He really wants to hold your hand, he can see it resting on the table and his is twitching to hold it
  • In the end its you who reaches over and gently brushes your hand over his
  • Peter smiling a 1000 watt smile as he stares down at your intertwined hands
  • Both grinning like idiots for the rest of the date
  • Sharing the bowling alleys giant milkshake as you start your game
  • Peter not taking his eyes off yours or your lips as you both suck through your straws
  • When you’re bowling Peter cheats and zooms to the end of the alley to knock over the remaining pins
  • Neither of you wanting the date to end as you make each other laugh so much
  • When you get back to the mansion Peter walks you to your door
  • You both hesitate at the door before Peter quickly presses a kiss to your cheek before zooming off, leaving you with a cute little blush on your cheeks
  • Peter lying in his bed that night wide awake with a massive grin still plastered over his face
Romeo and Juliet

Originally posted by brefjesuisenllce

Summary: All Y/N and Jeff knew how to do was hate each other because of their parents.  What happens when Jeff’s had enough?

Pairing: Jeff x Reader

Request: Request wherein you and Jeff have like a Romeo and Juliet kinda thing (families hate each other, they hate each other too) until they end up falling for one another somehow, you can play with it how you like! (Just don’t make them die pls) AND Can you do 14 with Jeff?

Warning: N/A

Word Count: 1403

Prompt: “No one can change the past, I can’t change the past.”

A/N Would you all like if I made a masterlist of all of my imagines?

It was your first day of kindergarten and your young age made you excited for school.  Everyone was nice, excited, some sad that their parents were gone, but overall, it was a good day.  Until lunch.  You were sitting down eating what your mother had made you when an older boy sat opposite of you.  You instantly recognized him as the son of your parents’ enemies.  You had no idea why your families hated each other, but when you both saw each other’s faces, you simultaneously stood up walked away from each other.  It didn’t feel right, he looked like a nice person, but with your families, you’d be nothing more than enemies.  At least that’s what you thought.

Your lives have been like this for 10 years.  You were a sophomore, Jeff a senior and the two of you haven’t even tried friendship, but rather threw insults at each other.  Again, neither of you knew why, but it was almost as if you were born to hate each other.  You both kept your distance, until your god forsaken history teacher paired you two up for a project.  Outraged, you both expressed your anger while the class sat back and watched the two of you banter.  It wasn’t until you were threatened with getting a zero on the project did you both suck it up and pout angrily in your respective seats.

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distancing

a/n: hi hello i’m back i hope you like this!!! my mind started wandering halfway through lmao

anonymous asked: Could you write one where y/n is distansing herself from Chris for some reason and Chris is getting worried she might leave him and confronts her like ‘Tell me what happened, tell me why everything changed’ Thank you if this is something you can write :)

pairing: reader x chris

word count: 1,2k 

warnings: angst i guess

masterlist


Christoffer’s biggest fear initially was committing into a relationship and letting someone in his life, letting someone know him on a more personal level. Nowadays, it was loosing you. The thought of you not being a part of his life was terrifying to him, as dumb as it might sound you were the best thing to have happened in his life so far. Even if it was really early in your relationship, he was pretty sure he was falling in love with you, fast. Too fast even. He never thought he’d feel the way he feels for you, but it was something he treasured.

It had taken him time to accept that his crush wasn’t only based on looks and that he liked you as a person and that he actually wanted to be with you, not only occasionally as a random hook up. You were understanding and gave him his time, never rushing him in anyway. He had appreciated a lot, so when he actually was ready you were both beaming with happiness. People had found it funny how happy you both were back then, the bravest ones tried to tease Chris about it, without success though.

But good thing don’t last, not for Chris at least. The universe probably had something against him or his happiness in general, because his worst fear was actually happening. You had become distant suddenly, Chris doing everything possible to stop it from happening in a way that he doesn’t look too clingy. As the whole relationship thing was new for him, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had fucked it up already. Had he said something to offend you? Did he do something wrong? In his mind, the options were endless.

Maybe Chris was a little dumb for not confronting you about it immediately and giving you some alone time, but as days went on he grew more and more worried. He was hung up on the idea of you leaving him, the less confident side of him completely taking over on the matter. Chris knew that he had to act quickly, before it’s too late.

Even with all of that, he was ready to save your relationship at all costs. That was exactly what he was doing currently, as he was walking around in the school in hopes of seeing you or your friends, so far it had been unsuccessful.

A sigh of relief got past his lips when he spotted your little group of friends, boldly walking up to them. They immediately noticed that Chris was walking towards them, growing quiet in matter of seconds. He examined each one of them, noticing Eva was there too. It probably wasn’t the greatest idea of his to hook up with Eva when he was interested in you, it was something he deeply regretted and often worried about. That of course was before you were dating or he was getting ready to do so.

”Where’s Y/N?” Chris asked calmly, tapping his foot against the floor of the cafeteria. They all seemed hesitant, contemplating whether they should tell him or not. Chris’ previous calmness was quickly fading away, replaced by annoyance. ”Look, you can dislike me all you want, but if you know where Y/N is I’d like to know.”

Vilde was the one to crack up and tell him that you had left to get your books for the next class, earning a glare from the others. Chris mumbled out a quick ’thank you’, before sprinting off towards your locker. And you were there, standing in front of it. He walked up

”We need to talk, preferably now.” he said, looking at you.

”Later, excuse me I have to go to class now.” you told him, not bothering to look at him as you tried to leave, only for him to grab your wrist, softly enough to not hurt you.

”Classes don’t start for another 15 minutes, you’re not in a hurry yet and I think it’s crucial that we talk right now,” Chris told you, briefly pausing before continuing. ”Even if I have a reputation of not caring about other peoples feelings, I’ve always taken yours into consideration and I think I at least deserve an explanation for your behavior.”

Your heart was pounding like crazy, you knew sooner or later Chris would confront you about it. You knew you could’ve handled the whole situation better, distancing yourself from him wasn’t smart either. It wasn’t that you didn’t like him anymore, because you did. A lot actually.

A small crowd was following the situation, already probably gossiping about it. Thankfully Chris noticed this, pulling you into a more quiet place where you could be alone. You stood there in silence, not sure of what to do. Chris ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit he had had as long as you can remember.

”Do you still even like me?” Chris carefully asked, afraid of the answer. This was nerve-wracking for him, he didn’t want your relationship to end. In his mind it didn’t make sense to break up or even take a break, because everything had gone well before. You laughed together, you held hands in the hallways like every annoying new couple did and you respected each other.

”I still like you.” you managed to whisper out as you were on the verge of tears, doing your best to not. Every moment you spent in silence made you feel more and more guilty, regretting your actions. The last thing you wanted to ever do was hurt Chris in any way.

”Then please just tell me what happened, tell me why everything changed? I promise I’ll do my best to fix it.” Chris said, nervously chewing on the inside of his cheek.

Silence. You were struggling to find the right words to explain yourself. As you took a deep breath, you started explaining. ”Ultimately, I think I got jealous and insecure. I know this is dumb, but I heard that you had a thing with Eva and liked her and it just really made me feel insecure. I started overthinking, which ended up in me distancing myself from you. It was a way to protect myself from getting hurt, but in the process of this I hurt you. I’m sorry.”

Christoffer’s facial expression softened seemingly, he was relieved to say the least. ”I can understand that, I was actually worried about it earlier. You’re the only one I have ever liked, I don’t want you to worry about things concerning the matter.”

“I hate how you always know what to say to make me feel better.” you said with a small laugh, wiping some tears away. 

“I can’t help it, I’m pretty much a genius.” 

You smiled a little, pulling him in a much needed hug. It felt nice and cozy, like home. Chris pressed a kiss to your front, making you slightly blush. One of the many qualities of yours he loved was that he still managed to make you blush with the simplest things.

It was no mystery that you both sucked in this whole dating thing, you were the two newbies who messed things up constantly but no matter what happened did your best to get through it. Things get hard from time to time, but as long as you were both happy together it was worth it.

Boyfriend!Mark

A/N: okay so this one request said boyfriend!mark and i got confused bc i didn’t know if it was mark lee or mark tuan so yes imma do both bc i love you guys hahahahahaha


Originally posted by pcyeolsbi

-so mark lee would like be the fluffiest bf ever is2g i want one

-and since everyone in nct and in sm loves this boy so much, they would love you so much as well

-especially the dreams, they would think you’re as cool or maybe even cooler than mark because they look up to him

-maybe except donghyuck

-he would annoy you

-a lot

-but in real life, donghyuck would think you are an amazing noona

-okay so back to the fluff ball mark

-mark probably isn’t in to PDA that much and also because he is still young, he would want people to see the both of you as still conservative people

-but back in the dorm the both of you would be like the most disgusting couple ever

-hugging each other all the time, giving you kisses on the cheek, back hugs

-that is when the others are not around that it

-or else the most PDA that you would do was sitting beside one another while ones pinky is wrapped around the others.

-okay so on dates, he would do this as well. You would go around the city with not much PDA but only your pinkies holding onto each other like do you get what i’m saying or nah am i confusing(?)

-but anyways, when you’re together at the sm practice room and when you thought that everyone has left and you thought the two of you are the only ones left after nct 127′s practice, he would come over to you and put his hand on your waist while his other hand is holding hid bag and he would give the sweetest kiss. Everything would just be so cute and fluffly

-until haechan comes back inside because he forgot his towel or something and then he would see the both of you sucking off each others faces and he would just go screaming “MY EYES!1! MARK HYUNG, NOONA PLS IM A CHILD!”

-and mark and you both swore the other members would not remember a boy named haechan anymore

-ANYWAYS

-So like since mark is apart of every sub-unit of nct, he gets really tired and stressed

-and he is just really grateful you are there because he cals you his stress reliever and he feels calm whenever you are around.

-but back to happy times

-whenever nct makes a comeback, mark would want to see you react to the music video

-and would just be all smiley and fluffy again because you would be screaming and fangirling every time he makes screentime

-but of course you would be fangirling about the other members as well

-then he would go “But i’m your favorite right? I’m your bias”

-then you would reply with “Mark shut up, you’re my boyfriend of course you’re my bias” and he would just smile at you and give you a kiss on the cheek afterwards

-Also, you would be ranting in english

-but then johnny/ten/jaehyun would understand so they go “woah chill”

-and you just smile at them after

-having mark as a bf is just the best thing in the world

-he would have you as his lockscreen which is a picture of you that he took while you were out eating together and you had your mouth wide open

-and you would make him change it and he did

-but to a picture of you sleeping with while your mouth was open and when your hair was a mess

-and you would just give up

-mark is just so precious, his future gf would be so lucky

-all in all i want one mark lee pls

instagram

YOU Caption IT 😂 When you suck at both Shooting & dancing.

Mandatory Date (Laurens x Reader)

Words: 3800+

Warnings: cussing, mentions of sex

A/N: this is something I wrote for @always-blame-jefferson and I decided to post it here as well! enjoy!


“For the last time, no, I’m not going to your wedding,” You said to your friend Alexander. He frowned, helping you fold your clothes.

“But why? Is it that hard to get a date?” He said, smirking at you slyly. You threw your bra at him, and he jumped away from it. “Hey!”

“Why are you making it mandatory to have a date at your wedding? That makes no fucking sense, you idiot.” You stuck your tongue at him, folding your shirt in half. “And why the hell did Eliza agree to this?”

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Welcome Home, Sweetheart

Originally posted by thing-you-do-with-that-thing

Pairing: Jensen x daughter!Reader
Word count: 1,150

Part 6 of Letters From the Dead

Y/N started school today. I think I was more emotional than her. She was so determined to do this all on her own, and then she looked up at me. Maybe she saw that I needed it, but she took my hand and let me walk her in.

Now it really hits how big she’s getting.


The next morning after breakfast, Jensen declared it was a father/daughter bonding day. You’d stared at him like he’d grown a third eye. That just wasn’t something you were used to. JJ told you that it was fun, and to ask for ice cream. That wasn’t a bad idea, either.

Your first stop was to get you some stuff to make your room feel a bit more like home. Walking in, you’d been looking down, so you didn’t even know the name of the damn store. He was pushing the cart, and you were walking next to him. “So, uh, what’s your favorite color?” He asked awkwardly.

“Y/F/C.” You shrugged. “You know, we could have ordered this online, and saved you having to come shopping with a teenager.”

Jensen laughed, shaking his head. “Dan did offer to do this part, actually.” He glanced at you before turning down the aisle of sheets. “Told her I had 14 years to make up for. Gotta start somewhere.” His voice was somewhat sad. “Hey, where did you think I was all this time?” He asked you once you’d started looking over the different colors.

Pausing, you shrugged and glanced at him. “I didn’t.” You told him honestly, your eyes going back to the middle row. You were debating between two colors, and scrunching your face. “I never knew anything but it being mom and me for a long time. I asked her once, when I was really little. There was a daddy daughter dance thing. I went with my best friend and her dad. After that, I didn’t need to know. I was happy.”

He nodded. “Well, I’m glad you weren’t torn up or something about it.”

“This!” You smiled, grabbing some sheets. Looking over at him, you weren’t sure how he meant that. “Was that…sarcasm?” You asked, putting the package in the basket.

“No! No. Promise.” He chuckled. “I feel bad enough as it is, I’d feel worse if you spent your life thinking I’d like…abandoned you or something.” That made sense to you.

As you started moving towards the bedding sets, you finally blurted out the question you had been wanting to ask. “Why weren’t you there?” You asked gently, not looking at him.

Jensen stopped. “She never told you?” You looked up at him and shook your head. “We broke up so I could focus on my career. I still cared about her, and wanted to stay friends. Suddenly, she stopped returning my calls.” He sighed. “In the letters that your mom wrote, that the lawyer gave me, she said she wanted me to live my dream. That she knew I’d go back and do the right thing. I’d be there for you guys, and she wanted me to better my life for whoever I made a life with.” Your eyes fell, feeling like you’d invaded on that life. “She’s right, though.” He told you. “I would have gone right back.” You couldn’t tell if he wished he had known or not.

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Bangtan In Bed Analysis

Sorry it took so long anon, I wrote quite a bit. Enjoy.

Seokjin ;

Making Love ;

I think they’d all be pretty much the same for this department but we’ll make it as different as possible. First, Jin is the number one man when it comes to making love. He’d make sure you were completely comfortable and ready before he tried anything too serious. He’d lay you down on the bed first, strong arm leaning his heavy body next to your own. The lights would be low and I could totally see him lighting some candles to set the mood. He’d start by kissing you, very slowly and softly, his hand trailing down your stomach. He’d finger you open while kissing your neck, still going as slow as he could without torturing the two of you too bad. After you were opened and ready, he’d pull a condom on and slide in. He keep his lips on yours in the beginning, but after a few minutes he might pepper kisses all over whatever part of your body he can reach. He’s one to keep intimate eye contact with you and tell you how much he loves you or how beautiful you are over and over as he languidly thrusts inside of you. The entire time would consist of slow but deep thrusts, sometimes a few seconds of grinding with him releasing the most gorgeous groans you’ve every heard. Seokjin for sure wouldn’t come until you did, making you first priority so he’d do anything he had to, circle his thumb around your clit or maybe even speed up just a small bit until you were shaking and trembling underneath him.

Everyday Sex ;

Agh okay. Seokjin would still be incredibly passionate and caring when it comes to everyday sex. He’d still very much make sure you were comfortable and as ready as he was before he tried anything. He’d probably be open to more with this type of sex, like kinks and different positions. He’ll try things other than kissing as the foreplay, maybe oral, both way, you sucking him off or him eating you out, or he’d play with your nipples and leave faint hickey’s on your neck and along your collar bones. He would take less time in fingering you, not meaning he won’t completely make sure you aren’t ready because he would, he’d just do it in more of a rush than other times. His thrusts would be faster, deeper, less precise but only after you begged him for it. There’d be more screaming from you and rough grunting from him, rather than quiet noises. He’d quiet you down with his tongue, swirling around the inside of your mouth. He’d bite down on your bottom lip and make sure you come undone a whining mess.

Yoongi ;

Making Love ;

Yoongi has his emotions on lockdown, it’s very hard for him to express his feelings at times so I feel everything would come out during the moments you make love. Unlike any other time, Yoongi would handle you with complete and utter care. His hands would gently slide over every inch of your body, his lips not far behind, trailing after and caressing your skin with soft kisses. He’d put every emotion he’s kept bottled up into a passionate kiss on your lips, his eyebrows scrunched in concentration. I feel like he’d want the sheet to be over your bodies while anything was happening, maybe a low lamp on in the corner to create a dim glow in the room. He’d peel your clothes off one by one, kissing over the tops of your breasts when he unclipped your bra and leaving a line of kisses under your belly button when he slides your panties off. He’ll finger you very slowly, and curl his fingers inside to hear the gasps you’ll let out, before rolling a condom on and getting to the deed. He’d want to hold you as close as possible to himself while he gently rocked into you from the start. He’d be the type to keep his face hovered over your own, his mouth held an inch away from yours so he could hotly pant against your cheeks. He’d want you to see what you do to him, see his facial expression scrunch up in absolute pleasure. His hips would push into yours with the slowest speed, but still manage to reach deeper than ever before. He might get too caught up in his moaning and groaning to remember to get you off first and he’d shoot into the condom before he could stop it. He’ll definitely make up for it after though, whether it be pleasuring you with his mouth and fingers or over stimulating himself to finish you.

Everyday Sex ;

This is where kinky Yoongi comes in. He can have quickies with you anywhere and everywhere in your house. He’ll want you four different places in the living room, five different places in the kitchen, up against the wall, bent over his desk, pushed up against the front door and even in the shower where your screams will echo around you. His thrusts would be quick and controlled, his mouth open and throatily groaning loud into your ear. He’d suck bruises into every part of your skin he could, loving the way the bright purplish marks confirmed you as his. He’d change it up every time, pinch at your clit and have you come on his cock or pull out and finish you off with his fast tongue movements and curling fingers.

Namjoon ;

Making Love ;

Namjoon is another one who has his emotions and heart guarded to protect himself and another one to have everything he’s feeling be shown through his actions in the bedroom. He’d be nervous beforehand, thinking about every possible scenario where something could go wrong but as soon as he saw your beautiful body, nothing but love would fill his mind. He’d kiss you all over and generally take his time to really let you know how he felt about you. He’d hold you close and rub soothing circles into your back or the soft skin of your thighs while he kissed your lips over and over and whispered about how much you meant to him. He wouldn’t want the moment to end but the pleasure of being inside you would become too much and he’d have to speed up his usually slow timed thrusts. He’d moan for you to come together before he collapsed in a tired heap next to you.

Everyday Sex ;

Namjoon is a kinky pervert and toys and bondage are his thing. If and when he’s not making love to you, you can definitely expect to be tied up and tortured ( the good kind ). He’d have your hands behind your back or above your head whenever he could get them there, eyes enjoying the view of you helplessly exposed to him and squirming. A smirk would never leave his lips as his hands trailed over your body and mapped out your curves. He’d mark you all over, double checking to be sure there wasn’t an inch unbruised as a reminder of who you belonged to for anyone with prying eyes. He’d use an array of toys on you, nipple clamps, mouth gags, blindfolds, handcuffs, whips, a paddle for when you decided to be a bad girl and his personal favorite, a vibrator. He’d love watching your body shake and tremble when he held the mechanical toy over your most sensitive spot, love hearing your broken cries as he fucked you with it. Namjoon would probably make you come once or twice with just his hands and the toys before he actually got to the sex part. He prefer if you were face down in the mattress, any position he could have a view of your ass. His big hands would grip your waist to hold you still as he mercilessly pounded into you, deep grunts traveling up his throat.

Hoseok ;

Making Love ;

Hoseok has such an amazing, loving personality that you couldn’t be mad at him when he messes up in this department. He’s so cheesy and dorky and playful, he wouldn’t exactly know how to get serious for something like making love. He’d try his hardest to make things perfect and you have to give him credit for his effort. He shows his love through jokes so light teasing would be his forte. He’d skim his lips all over your skin and watch the goosebumps pop up, might suck a little on your neck and nipples, flick his tongue over them and draw circles around them with his thumbs. He’s leave little pecks all the way down your stomach, nip at your hips and the inside of your thighs and laugh when you squeak as he takes his first lick at your core. He’d continue, very slowly, to lap at your clit and use his fingers to get you open. He’d hover his face over yours as he fucks into you, again agonizingly slow because he’s a shit, and laugh at every shuddering breath you let out because of his angled thrusts perfectly grazing over your sweet spot. He’d kiss your nose and promise to love you forever in hushed whispers, sometimes his own resolve breaking so he can let out a shaky moan against your cheek.

Everyday Sex ;

Everyday sex with Hoseok would be different every time. He’d like to try new things, he’d be the most open to new kinks and toys and places where you can have sex. Like the laundry room. I don’t know why but I can see Hoseok as one of those husbands that try fucking you against the washer while your kids watched cartoons in the living room. He’s sneaky and fun. He’d try to make sex with him some of your best experiences by changing it up and not keeping anything vanilla. His favorite thing to do would be making you scream, especially when the other boys were around. He’d want them to know what he does to you behind closed doors. He’ll finger you rougher than usual, fuck you deeper than the thrust before, smack your ass and pull your hair and make sure you’re crying and shaking with pleasure so he could walk out and be smug af.

Jimin ;

Making Love ;

Jimin is so full of adoration. He’s very admirable for his ability to easily show his love for others but I think he’d be a little more reserved with his feelings in bed. It would start out like any other, small pecks turning into longer, more passionate kisses. His hands would roam over your body and he’d be nice enough to ask if this was what you wanted to do, before leading you to his bedroom. He’d slowly undress you, his mouth on yours while his tongue explores the inside before he threw you on the bed and climbed on top. He wouldn’t advance things too fast, thinking it would be best not to rush through something so important. He’d take time to finger you open properly, distracting you with loving kisses on your lips or neck, then maybe eat you out just a little because it’s his favorite. His cock would stay deep, shallow thrusts barely pulling him out an inch before he’s grinding back in. His thickness would stretch you wide in the best way. After you spend a long intimate time together, soft tongue kisses shared between you Jimin would slide his arm underneath you and arch your chest until it’s pressed to his. He’d mouth at your neck and speed his thrusts up, pulling out all the way and slamming back in as he panted out I love you’s against your skin. You’d come undone in his arms and he’d kiss you hard on the lips to finish it off, his eyes crinkling up with his big smile when you returned his affection.

Everyday Sex ;

Jimin is the pussy eating queen, even more so than clit sucker Yoongi. He’d love so much to wear your thighs as ear muffs and your cunt as a face mask. He’s not one of those fake ass eaters who barely try, no. Jimin is the real deal. He’ll grip your thighs and spread your legs so far apart they will ache for weeks. He’d tease you at first and lick you through your panties a few times, make you whine and beg for his heavenly tongue you love so much. He’d probably rip them off but you wouldn’t care because he always bought you new ones. He’ll swipe your lips of any of your sweet juice you dripped just for him, thrust his tongue as deep as it would go and moan at the taste he just couldn’t get enough of. You’d be overwhelmingly trembling in ecstasy, your thighs flexing and hips pushing down onto him. He’d grip your hips tightly and hold you down so he could flick his tongue over your clit. He’ll finger you a little, use his thumbs to pull your lips apart and lap you up until you’re dry so he can finish you off. Actual sex would just be quick. It would depend on how he was feeling I think. If he was stressed out and tired, he’d fuck you fast but long. You’d have really sweaty, extremely loud sex that had Jimin’s hands curling into the sheets from the intense pleasure you gave him. He’d pant out breathy little whines and kiss your cheek and jaw as much as possible until you’re both finished, but if he was feeling energetic and horny he’d take his time and fuck you thoroughly, cock so deep you were shaking. I don’t think he’d finish inside you, he’d let you come and then ask you to suck him off so he could come too.

Taehyung ;

Making Love ;

I can’t even begin to explain how awkward Taehyung is. He’s so adorably clumsy and those traits wouldn’t just magically disappear while you were in bed. To be honest they might even show more but so would his love for you. A blush would never leave his cheeks as you guys worked up to making love, either by kissing or other things, his face would stay a deep shade of red. He’d be really embarrassed if he messed anything up so he’d try his best at everything, but mistakes are inevitable in anything. He’d apologize for poking his finger too far inside of you when it actually felt good, he’d apologize for pinching your nipple too hard, for biting your neck and leaving too dark of a mark that couldn’t be covered. There’d be a lot of apologizing but that would be what made it perfect. He’d go super super slow, teeth splitting his lip until it’s bleeding at the beautiful sight of you under him. He’d leave kisses all over your forehead, whispering in his deep voice his adoration for you while his hips ground up into yours. He’d caress your cheeks and gutturally moan when you both came.

Everyday Sex ;

I think without the pressure of feeling like he needs to love you and show it, everyday sex with Tae would be a whole lot messier. A lot less clumsy and embarrassed, more cocky and handsy. His hands ( Jesus have you seen them ) would squeeze at any part of you he was able to reach, your ass, your hips, your waist, your boobs or his favorite, your thighs. He’d nibble on your earlobe and mumble the dirty things he wanted to do to you or even better, what he wanted you to do to him. He’d sloppily kiss you and tongue your mouth, smack your thighs and ass and groan at the sound of your whimpers. He’d want his hand print tattooed on your red skin for hours. But after all that he’ll sit down in the love seat of your living room or lean against the headboard of your bed and let you ride him. He’d cross his arms behind his head and watch you fuck yourself onto his dick with the cockiest smirk you’ve ever seen. He may thrust up a few times if he catches you slacking, his cock head jabbing against your sweet spot and bringing you back. He’d growl when you scratched your nails down his chest and come to the sight of you completely wrecked above him.

Jeongguk ;

Making Love ;

Jungkook’s a little young to be in love but anything could happen so. Jungkook is shy as shit so I see him being a little like Tae and always having a rosy blush dusting his cute cheeks throughout your session. He wouldn’t know which noises meant good and which bad and his eyes would be wide, scared that he had hurt you. The first time you can expect to be awkward but you’ll definitely know how he feels about you through the whole thing. He’ll leave small pecks on the corner of your mouth and the tip of your nose, lips brushing over your forehead. His thrust would be labored, slow and shallow, only pushing about half of his length into you. He’d roll his hips and tell you you were beautiful and he loved you. Jungkook’s breathing would be heavy and stuttering in your ear, the occasional whimper from containing the urge to fuck into you harder accidentally escaping his lips. When you come he’s fast to follow, his hands grabbing your hips and holding you down onto him as he buries himself as deep as he can so he can shoot his load. After he’s done he’ll fall next to you and cuddle you into his chest, his lips pushing a soft kiss to your temple and voice murmuring that he loves you once more.

Everyday Sex ;

Jungkook’s like so into oral. But oral for him like, you sucking him off twenty four seven oh my god he would cry if your mouth ever left his dick. He’d love watching your cheeks hollow and push out if he fucked in too deep. He’d intentionally try making you choke because it would boost his self esteem and it was hot af to him. He’d pretend to be worried and cradle your jaw, maybe kiss your nose for extra effort before going right back in and fucking your throat to choke you again. He’d groan and pull your hair and fuck your face so fucking much. Since Jungkook is so strong and muscly, I think it’d be really easy for him to slam you against a wall and fuck up into you as you held onto his shoulders. He’d hold you up with his palm flat to your stomach, his other hand holding your thighs open so he could freely thrust. This is where Jungkook would be cocky af and dirty talk you into your release. He’d, just like above, bury himself deep into you and growl against your neck as he comes.

3AM {c.h. & a.i.}

(A/N: thanks to Keelyn @stopirwin for being a real pal and helping me come up with the plot of this fic. I owe you one fam <3)

Summary: threesome with cashton inspired by that mf pic of them dressed as the dudes from reservoir dogs 
Word Count: 2.344
Warnings: smut, overuse of the word cock (no seriously i used it 21 times), anal (lmao i know right), double penetration, a bit of anal fingering, this is so nasty rated N for Nasty

The bright green glow of your alarm clock was the only source of light in your bedroom. You lied in bed, underneath a pile of duvets as you waited for your two flatmates to come back home. Safe and alive, you hoped, especially due to the circumstances.

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Really Not Fine

Pairing: Dean x Reader
Words: 1005
Requested by Anonymous:  Hey I know you have a million things going on rn, but if you get a chance to get around to it, do you think you could write a one shot where the reader gets seriously hurt on a hunt but doesn’t want to tell Dean cuz she doesn’t want him to worry but it’s super obvious and maybe she faints or something when they get back to the motel? It’s up to you for the most part

Warning: injury, passing out because of injury



You could feel the blood soaking your t-shirt. You knew it was bad. But you didn’t want Dean to worry, so you grabbed a clean towel from the lady’s kitchen and pressed it to your wound. You were sure she wouldn’t mind; you had saved her from the ghost, after all. It was the least she could do.

           You made sure your jacket was zipped up and covering your wound as best as you could. Maybe you could get yourself stitched up back at the motel. Maybe your boyfriend wouldn’t notice and freak out about you getting hurt.

           Of course, you knew that was a long shot, but you were going to do what you could to keep your wound a secret.

           “You okay back there?” Dean asked as he drove back toward the motel. You had climbed into the backseat without saying anything. Sam had just taken the front seat. No one argued. The three of you just wanted to get back to the room.

           “Mhm,” you tried to make it sound positive, but you were on the verge of tears from the pain in your side.

           “You sure.”

           “Just need a shower,” you said.

           “We all do,” Sam agreed.

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Protected: Part Six

Summary: Reader is the younger sister of Tony Stark. After a bad breakup with her abusive ex she moves into the Stark Tower and asks Tony to help her train so she can look after herself and feel safe. Having previously worked at S.H.I.E.L.D as a translator, she fits in with the team immediately and proves herself to be no damsel in distress but that isn’t to say she doesn’t welcome the protective aura of a certain super-soldier.

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Tony x Steve, Wanda x Vision, Tony x sister!reader

Word count: 2024

Warnings: Minor smut, violence, flufffff!

A/N: when speech is in italics, it means they are speaking another language. Y/N/N = Your Nickname. Y/F/N = Your Full Name. Soooooo, last part guys!! I had trouble deciding how to do the ending, I didn’t want to make it too clichéd or predictable and, well this is how it turned out. Enjoy!! And thank you so much for all the positive feedback!! :)

 (Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five)

You groaned. What the hell? You pushed up from the ground and looked around to see what had hit you. Your face and hands were stinging, scraped by the concrete, but if the sound of a bullet firing was anything to go by, you could have been a lot worse off.

Bucky was next to you, pulling free of the restraints easily and removing the mask; he had pushed you out of the way. You scrambled backwards, dragging him with you behind a dumpster for cover.

“What the hell just happened?” You hissed, checking him over frantically for any sign of injury.

“I don’t know exactly. He was suspicious, but you managed to reassure him and then suddenly he was going for his gun. You were so focused on getting him to believe you that you didn’t see it until the last minute. I didn’t have time to remove the restraints so I just … threw myself at you,” he explained in a hushed whisper.

“It was Sam,” Wanda spoke through your coms, her voice strained, “He recognised Sam as the falcon. He must have seen him on the news or something – we didn’t count on him recognising Sam.”

“God, I am such an idiot. Well this has all gone to shit, we can still salvage it though, if we capture Rahimi,” you said, noting the sound of fighting close by.

He nodded and you spoke again, this time to the rest of the team through the coms, “Is everyone ok?”

You received affirmative answers from everyone, and that was all the confirmation you needed to re-join the fight. You looked at Bucky, wanting to say something but you weren’t sure what. His gaze was steely and you could tell he didn’t want you to fight but that was tough luck. You didn’t want him to fight either, but you both just had to suck it up. With one final, fierce nod, the two of you re-entered the battle.

Chaos. It was absolute chaos. And you loved it. The adrenaline was a buzz surging through your body and it made you understand all at once why some people were adrenaline junkies. Bullets flew left and right and Rahimi’s men held their own, considering they were up against super-soldiers, ex-assassins and the like. They still didn’t hold up long.

Your team cut through them like a knife through butter and Rahimi wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he was on the losing side. He ran to his limo but you clocked it immediately and suddenly two knifes were whistling through the air and his wheels were out of commission. He tried for the club door next but Wanda flicked her hand and sparks of red energy kept him from getting anywhere near the door.

One of his men intercepted your course for Rahimi with a punch that you ducked easily and then returned more accurately. He stumbled backwards and you used the opportunity to kick upwards, catching him square in the jaw with the heel of your boot. He flew backwards into the ground and you kept moving, kept fighting, wading through Rahimi’s fighters to get to him.

A sudden cry of anguish had you stopping in your tracks though, and you watched in horror as a woman met Tony with a shot to the left shoulder joint of the suit – a weak point. It was a lucky shot, one in a million, but it made Tony vulnerable to her continued assault. You felt rage bubbling up inside of you and in a matter of seconds you were in front of her. You moved so quickly that she didn’t notice you until it was too late and the gun was knocked from her hand. You spun a knife in your hand, grinning threateningly. You swung forwards in a deadly arc. She dodged it, just, but your movements were quick and she didn’t have time to recover before you were launching your next attack.

You moved on again, pleased to see that Rahimi had still been prevented from leaving so you made a beeline straight for him.

He had his back to you, scurrying for cover, “Hamid Rahimi,” you called, your voice bouncing off of the walls of the alley.

He paused for a second but didn’t look back. You rolled your eyes.

BANG!

He stumbled and lurched forwards, hitting the ground. You moved towards him slowly, like a predator stalking its prey. He grasped his leg, his breaths coming short, his face pained.

“Lay down on the ground and put your hands behind your back, Mr Ramimi,” you ordered. He began to do as you said, turning onto his knees and getting onto his stomach. You reached for your cuffs and rolled your eyes as you saw him trying to reach a gun lying on the floor nearby without alerting you.

BANG!

He flinched backwards, letting out a shriek and you rolled your eyes again. He clutched his hand to him and you repeated your order. This time he listened, still whimpering. You hadn’t even shot him that time, just aimed near his hand.

Rahimi was in already cuffs the next time you got knocked to the ground.

You groaned once again, a feeling of déjà vu overcoming you, “Ugh, Buck, what now? I’m starting to think you just like landing on top of me.”

You heard a gruff chuckle and then hissed in a breath as he punched your arm, half-playful, half-annoyed, “I swear to god, if you don’t start watching your six, doll, I’m gonna have an aneurysm.”

“I thought that was your job,” you gave him an innocent smile and he rolled his eyes, “In all seriousness though, thank you. I’ll watch my back better next time,” you added quietly. He nodded without looking at you, and for half a second the two of you just lay there, catching your breath. The fighting had ceased – your team had won.

You turned your head to look at him, “Bucky,” you whispered, your heart beating a million miles per hour for an entirely different reason than a moment ago.

“Yeah, doll?” he asked, his voice just as quiet.

“I-“ your voice faltered. How could you say this to him? The words caught in your throat, constricted behind anxiety.

He looked at you, eyes serious and for a second, half a second, you thought he might know what you were trying to say, but then the moment was gone and you lost your nerve.

Hey, Miss Sterling,” Rahimi drawled, his voice stroppy, “If that even is your name. When you’re finished having a moment with pretty boy I’m fucking bleeding to death over here.”

A sigh left your mouth but it saved you making up an excuse for Bucky. You heaved yourself up, bringing Bucky with you and went to get Rahimi up. He had been exaggerating, of course, your aim had been good; stopping him from running but hitting no major vessels in his leg.

The ride home was filled with the buzz of success and around you everyone congratulated you on completing your first mission, but your mind was far away, pondering.

You moved in an almost trance-like state, smiling when people talked to you but feeling slightly detached from everything, like you were hearing everything through a glass wall. Your mind whirled with the epiphany you had had back there, lying next to him.

“I’m gonna go have a shower guys, then I’ll join you downstairs, yeah?” They all agreed and you went your separate ways to clean up from the mission. No one was seriously injured luckily – it turned out that the shot to Tony’s suit hadn’t actually got to him, just interfered with his suit’s movement and given him one heck of a bruise.

You wandered into your shower, relishing the hot water against your skin and thinking over what you were going to do. You had long accepted your crush on Bucky, but that was all – a crush. Now, well, looking at him in that moment in the alley, just lying there, you didn’t just like Bucky, hell you were in love with him. Strangely, you felt calm at the realisation, even though it had the potential to ruin your friendship with the man. It wouldn’t, you decided, people loved and moved on all the time and so would you. You’d happily be Bucky’s friend.

When you left the shower you changed into some cotton shorts and one of Bucky’s t-shirts. You didn’t bother putting on a bra, deciding they were too damn uncomfortable and the team were practically family anyways. You left the bathroom, intending to find Bucky’s jumper to cuddle up in on the sofa, but the moment you left the bathroom you found yourself being thrown against a wall.

Training kicked in and in a second you had flipped your opponent round, pressing them into the wall.

“Bucky?” You pulled back slightly but didn’t release him, confused.

“Well, doll, I mean this isn’t what I intended, but it works just as well,” he practically purred, all smirks and sultry gazes and god you were confused. Was he drunk?

You voiced the question and he laughed, “Can’t get drunk, doll, remember? Now,” suddenly you were back against a wall and he was right there; bright blue eyes inches from your own, the ghost of his breath fluttering across your skin, “I think you had something you wanted to tell me, hmm?”

“Huh- wh-, no?” you squeaked, the unexpected close-contact successfully melting your brain.

He grinned, “No? So you don’t want me to do this?” He leaned in slowly, giving you time to stop him, closer and closer.

His lips brushed yours, slightly chapped, stubble tickling your face. Unconsciously you leaned into the kiss and your arms travelled up his chest, gripping his shoulders. The kiss was short but full of passion and when he pulled away you had to fight the urge to follow him with your lips.

“So, doll? What was it you were gonna say?” He asked, his grin transitioning into something softer.

“I-,” you took a breath, steadying yourself, “I’m in love with you James Buchanan Barnes,” you whispered, looking down at the admission.

A metal finger lifted your chin back up and you saw warmth and joy and- and love.

His smile was the sun as he replied, “And I’m in love with you too, Y/F/N.”

And then your lips crashed, skin burning, hands grasping. You pulled him closer, locking your arms behind his neck and shivered as his hands grasped your waist, touching skin. His hands continued to move, up, under your shirt – no, his shirt – caressing the skin of your back, bringing you even closer. Every inch of your body lined his; you could feel every muscle, every hard angle, you could feel him. On impulse you squeezed his neck and shoulders tighter and he guessed what you were going to do, catching you easily as your legs wrapped around his waist. His hands went to your bum, and you gasped into his mouth. You felt him grin, that shit-eating grin you knew so well, and it made you smile to and then you were both just grinning like idiots at each other and before you knew it the both of you were laughing.

After a moment you stopped, smiles still lingering as you looked at each other.

“So … you do like landing on top of me then, soldier?” you asked, smirking slightly.

He let out a low growl, “I love it when you call me that, doll, and to answer your question,” he didn’t finish his sentence but instead turned and threw you on the bed, immediately following and landing on top of you, his legs between yours, his arms travelling up and down your sides, brushing the side of your breasts.

“I love you so much, doll. I’ll always love you and protect you. Let me show you how much I love you, doll,” he whispered.

You nodded, before finding your voice, “Only if you’ll let me show you too.”

It’s safe to say, you guys missed dinner.

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Permanent Tags: @psychicwitchphilosopher @sgtjamesbuchananbarnes107th

More Raven!Neil! This is coming on in in bits and pieces, but sooner or later I’ll have a complete chapter which means I’ll HAVE to start writing the thing properly.

Andrew POV for now (probably because most of H4 is Andrew POV).

*******

Andrew thought it had been tiring enough, dealing with Kevin back in June when he’d discovered Riko’s little stunt with the district switch and everything, with the Foxes finding out that they’d be facing the Ravens on the court that season. Dealing with the coward swinging back and forth between ‘we’re not good enough’ and fighting with the rest of the rejects as he struggled to make the Foxes into some sort of team ‘worthy’ of their Class I Exy status – fighting literally with Boyd and Gordon most days, to the point that Andrew was getting rather annoyed with having to remind those two morons about his ‘don’t touch’ rule.

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The Joker x Reader - “5 Minutes”

After a nasty concussion you got 2 months ago during a car chase where Batsy was involved, you developed a strange ability: for 5 minutes every day you can read minds. It happens at random times, you never know when it’s going to hit. It’s not necessarily a good thing…or a bad thing…

Friday, 3:25pm

You must be kidding me, you gasp, getting up from your loveseat, enraged as you can be and you go kick the desk, pushing all his papers on the floor.

“What the hell, Y/N?!”The Joker spins in his chair, turning towards you, wanting to start a whole tirade about how much you annoy him when you do random shit like this.

“Why are you thinking about Lexi’s boobs, huh?” you smack your lips, feeling your blood boiling. (she’s the new bartender at the club)

Dammit, J thinks, I’m busted. You couldn’t have read his mind at a worst moment so he tries to fix it:

“I was just accidentally thinking about that, Doll, and…”

You don’t care and block his attempt:

“Mine are not good enough for you?! I’m a G-cup; what do you need, triple G???!! You wanna suffocate with these airbags?”

He takes a deep breath and grins, knowing he might talk his way out of it:

“Daddy likes your airbags, ok? They’re purrrrrfect,” he purrs, slowly pulling you in his arms, wishing you would let it go. “Are you jealous?” he winks and you slap his hands away, annoyed.

“You suck!” you kick his foot, taking a couple of steps back.

“Where are you going, Pumpkin?” J inquires, irritated he got in trouble for such a trivial thing (in his opinion).

“I’m gonna go and stare at our henchmen’s butts and see which one looks nicer!!!” you yell, already heading out of the office.

“Don’t you dare, Y/N, come back here!” he growls, following you so he can set you up straight.

***************

Saturday, 9:57pm

Next day you evade him as much as you can and decide to go for a drive after dark. You are still livid from the day before and decide to take it out on a jewelry store you kind of had your eyes on for a while, breaking inside and smashing all the fragile glass counters, deciding to keep just a necklace for yourself when…

Fuck, you freeze for a few seconds when you realize Batsy is close, watching, probably waiting for you to notice him. You feel kind of stupid because you only have the baseball bath with you but your ability couldn’t find a better time to kick in for today.

You sniffle, placing the bath on your shoulder, and ask:

“Why do you keep on thinking about Bruce Wayne? Do you know him?”
Batsy is shocked; he doesn’t know what to do with this so he doesn’t move a muscle when you keep on yapping:

“Are you related or something? All I see in your mind is that name,” you tilt your head to the side and smile; and my God, he freaks out and doesn’t show it when you wink at him (he just thought about it for a second but you caught it):

“Oh, thank you, they’re real. Mister J loves them too… supposedly,” you scoff and look down at your low cut top, passing your fingers through your hair. “Are you taking me to Arkham?” and you bend over because a very shiny diamond on the floor got your attention. ”Hey, don’t think that about my boyfriend!” you snap, kneeling so you can collect your treasure. Batsy didn’t say a word and he has no clue what the hell is going on, but you sure seem to know what’s in his mind. When you look up again, he’s gone.

You’ve never been more confused in your life; you thought you will for sure be locked away which will happen soon anyway if you don’t run: the police sirens are getting closer and closer.

******************

Sunday, 8:17am

The following morning you wake up, stretching and realizing J is not next to you - probably taking a shower and…it hits you for the present day. After a few seconds you hold your breath, stunned at the revelation: Oh my God, no way! And you jump out of bed, dashing in the bathroom, yanking the shower curtain to the side and just stare at him with the widest, creepiest grin ever:

“That’s your real name, baby??!!”

“Huh?” he turns towards you with soap in his eyes, trying to rinse his face. “What?” he makes you repeat because he didn’t quite hear you the first time.

“I know your real name, you were just thinking about it!” and your smirk gets even wider, if that’s possible.

“Are you kidding me?!” The Joker snarls, gazing at you with his mouth opened in frustration, debating on what to do.

“I knew it your name doesn’t even start with a J, I just flipping knew it !“ You suddenly sulk, furrowing your eyebrows, “Hey, stop thinking about killing me!…Stop it I said!”

“Then stop reading my mind, woman!!!” he splashes you with water, feeling homicidal and you try to ignore it:

I can’t help it, you know that. Can I call you by your real name?”

“NO!” he slaps your shoulder but you don’t even care and get inside the shower with him, totally smitten.

“What about when we have sex?”

“No way!” he protests yet you get in his face, keeping that eerie smile on your lips. Right when you thought he can’t surprise you anymore…

“It’s suuuchhh a cool, unique name, I reaalllyyy dig it!” you roar, kissing him and getting such an urge to spend the day in the bedroom. “Sexiest name ever!”

The Joker doesn’t really react for a few moments but then he kisses you back as you grumble, locking your hands around his neck, enjoying the warm water on your skin:

“I said stop thinking about killing me!”

I can’t help it,” he mocks your voice, actually telling the truth. Yeap, you know it too since you can still hear his thoughts.

********************

Monday, 1:31pm

You walk alongside Frost, holding his arm, focusing on walking normal since J went crazy on you yesterday. He was sooo pissed you found out one of his secrets that no living soul is supposed to know. Jonny is confessing how much he hates the latest missions because they are getting more and more dangerous when…here it comes for today.

You would leave?!” you detach from his hand, astound while reading his mind. “You would just leave??!!!” Your eyes get watery and he doesn’t know what to say seeing how flustered you got.

“What’s going on?” J wants to find out when he catches up with the two of you. “Did you say something to my girl?” he barks at Frost after seeing your tears. “Nobody makes her cry but me, understood?” he continues to lecture while you don’t hear anything, too distressed about what Jonny was thinking.

“YOU!!!!!!!!!” you suddenly shout, interrupting The Joker’s discourse, pointing your finger at Frost, fed up with all the crap: “You don’t deserve me as your best friend!!!” and you are so mad your body shakes. “AND YOU!!!!!” your finger is now pointing towards J, “You don’t deserve me as your girlfriend!!!!”

You take a few deep breaths, letting it all out and even more irritating information comes up:

“Stop thinking about killing me!!!!!!!!!” you address J so loud all the other henchmen halt what they’re doing around the warehouse, puzzled on what’s going down with your little group. “YOU BOTH SUCK!!!”

You can’t even be there anymore so you turn on your high hills and strut away, not wanting to hear what’s going on in anybody’s brain anymore. But it’s not up to you; your daily 5 minutes are still here.

Yes, they are real, OK????!!!!” you yell at all the guys on your way out, pointing at your cleavage, exasperated that so many have doubts about it. For once, you would just love to silence all the voices in your head and since you are aware you can’t, it really pushes you to the limit as you storm outside the building.

“Who was thinking that way about my Princess, YOU JERKS?????” The Joker’s angry rant resonates behind you before the heavy metal doors shutting down cut off all the sound.

*********************

Tuesday, 6:21pm

You drove away to your house on the secluded small patch of beach you own on the coast because you really need a break.  Your ability hits and for once you don’t have somebody around; it feels really good not to deal with reading minds. You blocked J’s and Frost’s phone numbers, this way they won’t bother you. Sure as hell they will try and that’s not an option for now.

* Frost was thinking about leaving on vacation, not permanently, tired as he can be after all the assignments but you didn’t let him finish his thoughts since you panicked and lashed out. On the other hand, J really had murderous intent in his mind- again. That was genuine. He’s such a sweetheart…*

*********************

Wednesday, 10:01am

You are finally finished with the morning walk along the shoreline and you are heading back to the house. It’s so nice and warm you can actually get away with wearing your favorite two piece bathing suit without feeling cold.

You slide the glass panel and tread inside.

“Oh,” you frown, seeing him in the kitchen, twiddling with your cell phone.

“What kind of greeting is that, hm?” J moves his elbows towards the end of the kitchen counter, not lifting his eyes up, concentrating on his task. “There, I’m unblocked,” he sighs, sliding your phone towards the center of the table. “Nobody blocks my number, Pumpkin, especially you, got it?” he bites his lip, huffing so you get the point faster. “You can keep Frost blocked thought,” the suggestion is fast to follow.

You gulp, noticing what he has on: the nerve on this man! He is sporting (try to keep yourself together) the purple shirt of sex, your absolute favorite. This shirt does things to you and he is very aware of it.

“Wh-what are you wearing?” you utter, feeling your heart skipping a beat.

“A shirt, Y/N,” he responds, the level of sass going up pretty high.

You take a few steps towards him and glance at that almost unbuttoned, enchanting piece of clothing, but have the confidence to mumble:

“I’m staying here for a while and you’re not welcomed, so…” and you show him the exit.

“HA!” The Joker sarcastically grins, slowly approaching and it gives you goose bumps.

“Y-you and your shirt stay away from me, alright?” you try to bargain without success. That shirt and those eyes sure are a lethal combo.

“What’s wrong with you? It’s just a shirt,” he insists, no doubt having some plan regarding the whole thing.

“Stay away, I mean it,” you sniffle, backing out more. “I’m not sleeping with you and I don’t want to…ummm… talk to you.” Wow, that sounds so fake it makes you hate yourself instantly.

“Good, makes two of us,” J shamelessly lies without blinking, being so close you can smell his cologne. Jesus, your favorite one: you’re so screwed.

10:05am

“I don’t want to!” you stop his hand pulling down on your bikini.

He just snickers with a devious expression on his face, forcing you against the wall.

“I-I really don’t want to,” you fight the sensation and for some reason manage not to lose your shit.

My God he’s a good kisser, you think when his lips find yours and you close your eyelids, moaning; he doesn’t see it coming when you push him away:
“That’s enough, p-please take your shirt and go!” BUT, luckily (or unluckily) it kicks in for today:

10:08am

That freaky smile flourishes on your face once more as you read his mind.

“Really???” you whimper, emotional at that split moment he thought about it. “You love me?”

“What?!” he scoffs, so vexed your ability always hits when he is thinking about stuff he doesn’t want you to know. “No way, I barely tolerate you!” J attempts to save his pride but you sure have that bizarre, unsettling sparkle in your eyes that makes him tense.

You giggle, not giving a damn he is denying it, signaling him to come to you.

“Don’t put words in my mouth, woman,” he bitterly mutters but approaches regardless.

“I don’t have to,” you whisper, happy like never before and elbow him in the next second:

“Seriously??!!! Stop thinking about killing me!”

He starts chuckling and you tug on his shirt, antagonized:

“Are you… are you thinking it on purpose to annoy me?”

“Ahhhh, I wouldn’t know, Kitten, you’re the mind reading expert,” The Joker lifts you in his arms, making sure not to think about how much he likes you (in his own way) by the time the 5 minutes are up.

Too late, you already know.

Also read- MASTERLIST:

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist