you-are~

Imagine Dean confessing to you how he feels after almost losing you in a hunt, even if he thinks he’s unworthy of you.

“(Y/n)” his voice was a little louder than before and more urgent but you kept your back to him “Every time-” his voice went back to low and rough “Every time I woke up I’d go for a cold shower, habit maybe because even if the dreams were the best in my life they- they felt like nightmares.” he swallowed thickly “I’ll stare at myself in the mirror and I know every time there is only one thing I can say to myself.”

You closed your eyes, fearing to hear what he had to say next. If he said it you knew you’d break. How could you not already? The man you loved said he had been having nightmares of losing you and as if that was not enough he said that even the beautiful dreams he had with you scared him because he didn’t want to wake up to a world that anything could kill you any given moment.

I hate you. I hate you so much. You dont deserve this, you don’t deserve to live and to feel this way about her. And then- then I’ll think about you and I- I say it again. I say it again to try to convince myself of it, I try so hard.” he let out a shaky breath “I hate you. I hate you so much. I try to make myself believe it, I put everything into it. But I- I don’t. I just can’t. I hate you… And I love you. That’s all I say in the end, because I’m too weak to fight it. I love you, (Y/n) and I can burn in hell for this but I- I love you. Even if you never look at me the way I do, even if you never think of me as more than just your best friend. I love you, ‘cause I can’t help it. And I need you to know it, 'cause I might die tomorrow and I will be damned if this words don’t come out of my mouth for you.”

You didn’t know by now if he was talking to you at that moment, standing right in front of him or he was repeating the words he would utter to an imaginary you. Whichever the case you felt hot tears stream your face.

And I need you to know it. he breathed out in the end, his voice breaking.

You didn’t say a word at him, even if there were a million things you wanted to say. But you couldn’t find it in yourself. And you wanted so much to just turn and ran to him but you were so scared. Despite everything, what he’d just confessed would change everything and you - no matter how much you loved the man - didn’t know how you should react to it.You’ve spend half your life hiding your feelings for him, thinking that all the flirting was just a game but here he was. Saying the three little words that you’d die to hear.

anonymous asked:

Dear Dorian: I love you! I really relate to your struggle to be your excellent self despite the stupid world not always appreciating it. But sometimes I just feel small and out of place and hopelessly discouraged. How can I be brave like you?

-chuckles- Ah…

It is hard to keep your head high when the world is so very adamant in beating the concept that you’re not what you should be right into you, yes? Alas, you’re exactly who you should be as long as you’re true to yourself. No matter how many passersby spit on the floor at your sight (trust me, been there done that).

One cannot be brave without knowing what helplessness feels like before. If you can, find yourself some people who love you for who you are, a place where you’re not out of place. Sometimes bravery comes more from the support of others than from within yourself… But one thing always leads to the other. 

-Dorian

Ten years, too late

Bucky x Reader

Summary:“You can’t stop me from seeing my own daughter.” + “You lost the right to see her when you walked out of our lives ten years ago.”

Word Count: 2271

Warnings: angst, death (mention only)

A/N: so, this is my submission for ( @bladebarnes ) Blade’s 2k writing challenge, just gonna leave this here, before i go on my break!
i really don’t know how this messed up idea came to my mind, but i hope it’s something new bc i wanted to save this prompt from being a total cliche so, yeah :) also, I made a little change in the second sentence, hope you don’t mind

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So here’s the thing

In the last 24 hours I went from;

Rooting for Jody because they where going to go after Paul & Friends™

To rooting against Jody for having all of the power and choosing to go after Josh instead

To rooting for Paul & Friends™ for choosing to save Josh and see the fallout amongst the house and Jody after they receive another blindside

To realizing I just said I’m rooting for Paul & Friends™ and deciding to quit everything

anonymous asked:

Louis did a big big denial of Larry today. The biggest one he has ever had (because it was on camera). So, I know we believe in Larry, but maybe we should look at his denial and analyze it. Have you done it? I think I am gonna do it, because the fact is that we don't know them and, although I believe in Larry, I have to keep in my mind that there is a chance I can be wrong. Lot of love for you, you are the best one! <3

Here’s the biggest thing for me: WHY DO THEY KEEP MAKING A DEAL OF LARRY? As others have said, we haven’t seen them publicly together save for Louis’ JHO performance in December 2016 since December 2015. 18 months. They have not interacted on camera. Louis tweeted Harry for his birthday this year. Otherwise, they haven’t communicated on social media publicly either. Ships exist in every fandom the world over. And in most of them they are ignored. Or laughed about. Either way, not brought front and center for everyone always. It doesn’t make sense. This has ALWAYS been the biggest Larry proof: “thou doest protest too much.” 

Why is Wattpad asking the question? My opinion: because he’s devil trash looking for ratings. He’s also in Simon’s pocket. So, at some point there’s likely going to be a narrative about how Simon never closeted them, that it was their choice, la la la. And honestly, we’re going to have to suck that one up and deal because we’re NEVER going to get the kind of story we know to be true. If I believe anything in this fandom it’s that Simon’s NDAs are air tight. But none of this negates the fact that the question shouldn’t have been asked in the first place.

I also think it’s important to draw a distinction between what was said in print (click free link here) and video. As @conscious–ramblings has said, if Dan could have gotten Louis to say all the things he “said” in print on video, we’d have seen it. As @srslycris reminds us, PR firms can give quotes (and photos) to journalists/outlets without final approval from their client. That’s pretty much their job, and you hope you’re putting your faith in the right company.

My big takeaway from both the print and the video is that Louis is closeted. He cannot say that he’s fine with Larry rumors. He has to mention Eleanor. I agree with @verily-i-say that when Louis talks about his “girlfriend” he seems to super impose Harry details there rather than Eleanor. The part about disrespect did stick with me. Because quite frankly, the interaction on Twitter and Instagram IS disrespectful (in my opinion). No one should be @ ing the boys or their families/friends/beards about Larry. Not ever. Speculation in your own lane is one thing. Bringing it to their front door (so to speak) is entirely different. So, I don’t disagree with that sentiment. 

So no, nothing that was said makes me think differently about the truth of their relationship. 

Why building skill in art is fun,

but not inherently required for the art’s value

I explained this a couple times in streams but I want to put it down in text.

Art is an incredible and special process where people can share a concept in their head with the outside world. Human imagination is endless, but part of the fascinating nature of art is the triple disconnect between artist and viewer- and the mosaic of images this creates. I’ll explain:

The first disconnect is between the artist’s imagination, and what they can produce. This is the only disconnect where building skill with practice can bring the two closer together. However, imagination is fluid, beautiful, and impossible. There’s no way to portray exactly what’s in our heads, but chasing that impossible goal is what drives artists! 

The second disconnect is generally a lot smaller, but still worth mentioning. Humans are all biologically slightly different, and we may be viewing the art through a different medium. The viewer may see less or more colour than the artist, or maybe their computer monitor has different settings.

The third disconnect is where the magic happens! A person interpreting an artist’s work will apply their own experiences and feelings to it, making the image they remember totally unique to them. This is part of the exciting nature of art- when you create something, you don’t just create one thing. Everyone who sees it will take away something different! This is a big disconnect and it isn’t affected by an artist’s skill at all. 

This process isn’t a bad thing! Art is incredible and beautiful, and our ability to create and interpret endless variations and feelings is what makes it so exciting! 

It may be discouraging when someone gets a different idea from the one you tried to create- but that doesn’t mean the idea they took away doesn’t have value! It’s still something that you did! 

Create more art! Fill the world with ideas!