you-are-not-of-this-earth

TTB -- Laugh in the Night

Title: Touch the Butts Hobbit Edition—Laugh in the Night

 Summary: You were a simple office worker, until a twist of fate sends you tumbling into Middle Earth and into the Company of Thorin Oakenshield.  You don’t know what to expect, you don’t know if you will survive, but you have this feeling that there is a great love story in the making.  But who will be the one you are destined to be with?  Make your choice and Touch the Butts.  

 Warnings: Language. Humor.  Changing of Disney Song.

 Start from the beginning

Originally posted by ivannna7

It was easy to find your place in the company, once you had a chance to get to know everyone. And even though you were different, and they thought many of your ways were strange, the company was always welcoming and had a smile for you.  

Well, most everyone.  Dwalin seemed to only talk in grunts to you, a brief acknowledgement of your existence, and after a day’s travel you could see him including you in his nightly head count, but other than that he was fairly distant.  Not that you minded, because to be honest, he kinda scared the crap out of you…

The other person you couldn’t seem to reach was the leader himself, Thorin Oakenshield. You thought you were making progress a while back when he talked to you for a few minutes, but then Dwalin and Balin walked up and that was the end of that conversation.

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Earth Witchtip: Rocks in Magic

I’m going to go over some of the ways in which I use smooth stones found outside in my practice. I don’t mean crystals or hag stones; I mean garden variety rocks. Unspecial rocks. I’m actually a big fan of river rocks, growing up by a creek, they’ve always been plentiful and adaptable. They also absorb stuff nicely and are a big help if you particularly enjoy working with the element of Earth. Found outside they’re also free.

  • Warding stones. I do them up in sets of four. Find four smooth stones about the same size. Cleanse them thoroughly using whatever method you like. Sigilize an intent to protect an area. Mine say “This barrier is impenetrable. Anything that doesn’t serve me is cast out or transmuted.” Use ink and a paintbrush to inscribe the stones with the completed sigil. If you like, this is a good spot to use blood magic. Clearcoat. Use whatever enchanting method you prefer to load them with energy, programmed with the sigils intent. As they’re enchanted, be sure to include something in the process to bind them together so they stay linked to one another energetically. These links will serve as the walls of the ward. Place them in the very corners of your home with intent. Having a physical representation for wards is handy. It isn’t the only method I use to ward (I’m a big believer in stacking my wards. I’m a ward hoarder.) but it’s useful as the stones can be carried along if you move, as well as recharged easily if your feels/divinations show that your wards are dissipating. Simply gather them up and either re-enchant them, or use whatever charging method you prefer.
  • Servitor Housings. They’re free and sit nicely on the altar. Cleanse them and dedicate them as the body of the servitor. Proceed as usual.
  • Bindings. Especially for non-physical entities like thought forms. Just like servitors you created, hostile thought forms can be forced into stones, bound there, and left somewhere where they can’t do harm. I can’t say I’d recommend this method for every spirirt you come across, but for very specific situations it’s good to know. My bestie had a very controlling boyfriend and he was basically always watching her. Between stuff that was happening and several nights worth of divination we came to the conclusion that his sitting around and obsessing over what she might be doing had formed a sort of dumb servitor. Since they lived together banishing would likely be temporary at best, dissipating it would work, but since the astral material had been put to such creepy use it didn’t feel hygeinic to transmute it into another servitor or use it as fuel. But since he essentially stalked her all the time, it was likely that even if that servitor was dissipated, another would take its place. We used divination to come to these conclusions and finally decided binding was the best answer as even as he fed it, once bound, he could keep accidentally programming it all he liked and it still couldn’t do shit and since it wasn’t destroyed we ran less risk of his subconscious “noticing” and forming another. So we devised a binding ritual, identified the ooky spooky, gave it a name, sigilized it, forced it into a stone, bound it with black cord, and after lots of chanting and positive divination that the bind was effective - threw the fucker in a fencerow where it still lurks today.
  • Amulets and Talismans. Rocks are easy to program, hold onto information well, and are pretty inconspicuous.
  • Transubstantiation. As shown, stones can be “named” as other things and used in spells. Two stones can be bound together or placed close to one another in love spells or used to apply weight and blockages for a hex. Use your creativity.
  • Taglocks. A rock from the flower bed outside your preferred place of work can be used in spells to get that job.
  • Links to genius loci. Like the above, a stone can serve as a link to the spirit of a place to evoke its protection or gather information once a relationship is established.
  • Psychometric Data Mining. Speaking of information, a stone can be thoroughly cleansed and “emptied” and then left somewhere to absorb impressions. Go back later and recover the stone and see what it has soaked up. I prefer dense, solid stones for this.
  • Steady Release Batteries. I consider stones to be similar to quartz in that they can be programmed to do anything, much like a witchy flash drive. If there is a person you wish to influence or a situation you need to have a say in, enchant and strongly empower a stone to broadcast your message at the psychic level. Place where most efficacious. For less nefarious purposes, a stone can be charged with undifferentiated energy to be used later, to enchant an item, power a spell, or really in any way you wish either through contact with a natural energy source you work with (running water, moonlight, sun, etc) or good old fashioned meditation and energy work.
  • Reverse Taglock. Like the above, you can use a stone, cleansed, emptied, and dedicated, as a sort of reverse taglock - leave it at the property or workplace of the person you wish to do magical stuff at, and use it at a distance as a focus.
  • An energy sink. After being thoroughly cleansed and emptied, you can program a stone to act as an absorber for stuff you don’t want. Carry it in your pocket and use it to consciously offload anxiety, worry, fear, etc. I like Tigers Eye for this but any stone will work. I’ve even used the method to dump an oncoming headache into a rock. It can also be used if you feel you’ve come into contact with shitty astral funk and need to cleanse your aura but have no materials nor time to ground properly. Either cleanse it ASAP or thank the thing for its service and dispose of it.
That’s a few of the ways I use rocks on the regular. As you can see I’m a big fan.

-jbird
TTB -- Stinging Pride

Title: Touch the Butts Hobbit Edition—Stinging Pride

 Summary: You were a simple office worker, until a twist of fate sends you tumbling into Middle Earth and into the Company of Thorin Oakenshield.  You don’t know what to expect, you don’t know if you will survive, but you have this feeling that there is a great love story in the making.  But who will be the one you are destined to be with?  Make your choice and Touch the Butts.  

 Warnings: Language. Angst.  Fluff.  

 Start at the beginning

Originally posted by riepu10

You were a mess of emotions and nerves.  After everything, and then almost losing Thorin…it really made you stop and evaluate everything.  And honestly, the number one thing that came to mind.  

What do I feel towards Thorin?

You had no shame to admit that you found him attractive.  Like, having dreams about him that would make people blush if you talked about it attractive, but what else?  You thought back to all the little moments you had with him so far, staying up late and talking, the little arguments, the big arguments, the way he held you when you sobbed on the carrock.  Every time, your heart would pound.  Even now, just looking up to him as he talked with Gandalf…

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anonymous asked:

Can I please get how all of the boys react to a s/o who loves pain? Like the boys accidentally hit them and the s/o is just blushing and breathing heavy cuz holy shit please and thank you :3

Thank you for this ask! I wasn’t too sure on some of these, but I tired!

  • Ayato: “What..?” He would be confused at first, but then disappointed. We all know that Ayato likes it when his lover doesn’t enjoy pain, if they do then he won’t have any fun. He’s a very Sadistic person, so he might just give you to one of his brothers since he can’t have his fun.
  • Reiji: “Are you blushing? What on Earth is wrong with you? You mortals are something else…” YOU DISGUST HIM. How could a true lady (or Man) like pain?! He uses pain as punishment, not pleasure. (He’s secretly into it sooo-)
  • Kanato: “….” WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? This boy doesn’t want to touch you anymore, he is like Ayato. What’s the fun unless it hurts?
  • Laito: “I’ll do it again if you’d like, I’ll even do it harder..” It’s fine with him, he doesn’t mind if you like being hit. He just knows what to do now if he wants to get you hot and bothered.  
  • Shu: “That’s..new.” He isn’t against it, but he isn’t for it either. He does like to see his prey squirm and cry out a bit, but he doesn’t want them to be totally sensitive to every little thing. Overall, he isn’t sure how to feel. 
  • Subaru: “A-Are you okay?” Subaru is a bit…freaked out. He doesn’t know if you’re breathing heavy because you’re hurt, or because you liked it. He has to ask Reiji for advice in the long run.
  • Ruki: “I’m surprised that Livestock would be into such things, but I guess all of you Mortals are different.” He accepts it, since you aren’t going to change. However, he finds new ways to punish you besides pain. Usually mental abuse.
  • Yuma: “Whoa- I didn’t expect that from you..” He is shocked, but not against it. Sometimes he lets you indulge in the small kink you have when you two have some alone time. But he isn’t too rough. 
  • Kou: “Mmm..” He LOVES IT. He is glad that he doesn’t have to worry about hurting you as much as he did before. So beware, he might go overboard sometimes. 
  • Azusa: “We…are the..same..” Azusa is so happy! He is glad to finally have someone like him around, you and him get a talk from Ruki though. He wants to make sure you two don’t go overboard.
8

The Wall ⇢ Season 1/ Season 7 

“As he stood outside the armory looking up, Jon felt almost as overwhelmed as he had that day on the Kingsroad, when he’d seen it for the first time. The Wall was like that. Sometimes he could almost forget that it was there, the way you forgot about the sky or the earth underfoot, but there were other times when it seemed as if there was nothing else in the world. It was older than the Seven Kingdoms, and when he stood beneath it and looked up, it made Jon dizzy. He could feel the great weight of all that ice pressing down on him, as if it were about to topple, and somehow Jon knew that if it fell, the world fell with it.” - Jon Snow (A Game of Thrones)

TTB -- Geared Up

Title: Touch the Butts Hobbit Edition—Geared Up  

 Summary: You were a simple office worker, until a twist of fate sends you tumbling into Middle Earth and into the Company of Thorin Oakenshield.  You don’t know what to expect, you don’t know if you will survive, but you have this feeling that there is a great love story in the making.  But who will be the one you are destined to be with?  Make your choice and Touch the Butts.  

 Warnings: Language.

 Start at the beginning

Originally posted by grimapparitions

You couldn’t help but sigh a sigh of relief as you settled back in the hot water.  A bath.  A true, honest to god hot bath!  Oh, it was glorious.  No cold stream, no worry about peeping toms, nothing but you and this glorious bath.  

Yea, you decided. You fucking loved Rivendell! And the elves were so nice to you, always having a sweet smile and kind words.  Even when you made a mistake and got some of their names wrong or wandered somewhere you shouldn’t, they still were sweet to you.

And Lord Elrond had been very kind to offer you sanctuary here.  He said that if you didn’t want to continue the journey with the dwarves, you could have a home here.  And honestly, you didn’t really give it any thought, but after this bath…you might…

You let your eyes drift closed as you recalled the conversation from earlier.

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For @universe-and-miss-crew based on these words:

“jump, smell, song, wrong, real, yellow, strong, theater, nose, bond, brother, nose, bond, sister, field, mad, life, away, no, heavy, river, limits”

{Side note: 
                The author, a brother,
                    has never had
                So she sincerely apologizes
                      if the poem is bad}

Here’s the poem : 


“To My Brother”

As storms can’t, from its one set course, 
A river’s rushing current move
As there exists no natural force
That can stars’ yellow glow remove

As years can’t from the mind dispel
Fond memories that play like song
As breezes can’t dilute the smell
Of wildflower fields’ fragrance strong. 

As jumps, once made, can’t be undone
What e’er the height or distance be
As anger, can’t once it’s course has run,
Endure towards you perpetually. 

So no pow’r in earth, hell, heav’n above
Can break this bond of blood and love
That bonds a sister to her brother, 
Nor be replaced by any other.

anonymous asked:

I think you are a very kind and caring person, those you love and help close and you will protet them to end of the earth but you are nuetral to those you don't. You wouldn't go out of your way to make someone else's day shitty unless they deserved it. But if someone does, you'd be the first to give em a shiner.

Andy: I’m not quite sure by what you mean about me being neutral and non protective of those who I don’t know personally.

TTB -- Insomnia

Title: Touch the Butts Hobbit Edition—Insomnia

 Summary: You were a simple office worker, until a twist of fate sends you tumbling into Middle Earth and into the Company of Thorin Oakenshield.  You don’t know what to expect, you don’t know if you will survive, but you have this feeling that there is a great love story in the making.  But who will be the one you are destined to be with?  Make your choice and Touch the Butts.  

 Warnings: Slight Angst.  Mild Language.

 Start at the beginning

Originally posted by thorinoakenshieldconfessions

You let out a deep sigh as you stared up at the night sky, looking at the shining stars that were hovering above you.  As beautiful as they were, just sitting here and looking up at them in the middle of the night…it was frustrating the fucking hell out of you!

You would spend all day trekking through the wilderness with the company, over hills and rocks and streams and tripping and falling and cursing and riding…your body was sore, it ached unlike anything you had felt before.  Even your mind ached, trying to grasp onto what had happened, how you were here, would you stay here, would you ever see your home again?  

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astrolofae  asked:

Tonight's Mood: I have rlly weird, specific interests and I'm starting to think I'm never really gonna find someone who is The One™ because of all those interests ... I've never met anyone else with 'em! Astrology? Never irl. The paranormal? Nope! Poetry? HAH! Why am I like this

sigh. my virgo venus feels this. but you WILL find someone! it may take some time but you definitely will. for the meanwhile, keep being your beautiful and amazing self, don’t settle for less bc you don’t deserve that, AND enjoy tragic earth

TTB -- We Would Miss You

Title: Touch the Butts Hobbit Edition—We Would Miss You

 Summary: You were a simple office worker, until a twist of fate sends you tumbling into Middle Earth and into the Company of Thorin Oakenshield.  You don’t know what to expect, you don’t know if you will survive, but you have this feeling that there is a great love story in the making.  But who will be the one you are destined to be with?  Make your choice and Touch the Butts.  

 Warnings: Language. Angst.  Fluff.  

 Start at the beginning

Originally posted by middleearth2asgard

You had never been one to have great reflexes.  You were always a shy too late in catching a ball, or not quick enough for certain sports.  So when you did have your body lash out in an instant with a quick reflex, you were proud!

For about two seconds.

Then you regretted all life choices.

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anonymous asked:

do you think there might be anything sentient and older than you currently living on earth?

I don’t know. Of my species, quite possibly. Of another? I don’t acknowledge any other cryptid species but my own. So it would have to be just another animal species. Most of the truly aged ones are not what humans would qualify as “sentient”.