you're welcome john


Hamilton au in which everything is the same, except when John dies his ghost gets attached to Philip and becomes his guardian. Phillip grows up thinking of him as kind of an invisible big brother or cool imaginary uncle, and John is there to protect Phillip during the duel so he doesn’t die and Ham and Eliza work out their problems and eVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT

anonymous asked:

When I was reading the texts in Mary's phone, at first I thought that Dean was the one who said "I'm sorry you found out this way" and I instantly chocked in my coffee bc I thought he told her about how shitty his childhood was with Jhon as his father I almost died literally, I drowning in coffee

Congrats on not dying! Seriously, with the levels of both crack and pain this show manages to dish out almost every week, is a damn miracle any of us are still alive.

That is actually a conversation I’m very much looking forward to, but I’m expected to be disappointed. With everything that’s happened, the memory of John as this pure, sweet thing trying to coax baby Dean back to sleep is probably the one good thing Mary can still hold on to, and neither Dean nor Sam are about to take it from her. It’s actually weird, if you think about it - how in her book, she’s probably the freak there - the woman who couldn’t cook and wasn’t satisfied with motherhood and even John, dark-haired and goofy and sweet, was not enough - 

(sorry, got distracted for a second)

(hang on)

(goddammit, why are there were so many pictures of Matt out there? it’s bloody unfair - people are trying to get some work done and all)

- the last survivor of a long line of hunters, the one who’d check on her baby boy before slipping out of the house with a duffel full of weapons. After all those years thinking John was the problem in that marriage - his PTSD, his alcoholism, his bouts of rage, his need for control and obedience at all costs - it’s beyond whatever to have to rethink all that - to realize that probably all those fights they were having - yeah, it was the opposite way around. 

(And by ‘whatever’ I mean, I’m loving it so so much.)

So, I don’t know - if I were Mary, I’d probably want to know - I would have talked to anyone, read anything - than again, maybe it’s me, or maybe all fictional characters are by necessity a bit oblivious and embarrassingly incurious, because I don’t think Mary actually knows all that much. Maybe she simply can’t bear to, because she can see well enough (anyone could) how damaged and broken her sons are, and as to why they got that way - there are two kinds of people, right? Some they fear what they can imagine; others pretend everything is fine if they just don’t know.

As for Dean - underneath it all, it must be agony, because he’s seen so many versions of his mom, right? He’s met her in the past, and in Heaven, and in hallucinations and nightmares and fever dreams, and now she’s here, he’s not about to scare her away, especially considering she seems to be doing a fine job keeping her distance all by herself. Also, I like to think both Sam and Dean sort of made their peace with John at this point. It will never be right, the way they were raised, but there comes a moment in your life when you have to accept that people are flawed, and your parents probably did the best they could. And even if they didn’t, how could their lives possibly be any better if they stay mad at someone who’s long since dead? Both of them have plenty enough to worry about without bringing up anything John did to them, after all.

Still - as I said, I admit I was hoping for a lot more family talk this season. I’m a sucker for young!Dean and young!Sam, and what with Mary being back, I thought - yeah. Never mind. They’re doing a fine job ripping our hearts off ours chests as it is. 

To be, or not to be...

Something else interesting to note about Sherlock and Molly, and who they ‘pretend’ to be in the real world:

Sherlock only likes himself when he’s something he’s not.  When he’s dressed up in his detective identity.  He hates himself, or is terribly uncomfortable, as anything else.

Molly is only not herself one time in the series, during the Christmas episode.  She dressed up in a ‘costume’, to try and be something she really wasn’t.  It’s the only time we see her look completely and utterly uncomfortable.

In TEH, when Sherlock shyly asks Molly to come and participate in a case with him, she asks him what John usually does.  By this point, Sherlock knows Molly.  He remembers the last time she was at 221B, trying so hard to be someone she wasn’t, for him.  This time, he makes sure she knows all he wants is for her to be herself. “You’re not being John, you’re being yourself.”

Molly is only comfortable when she’s herself.  Something I think Sherlock admires greatly about her.

Sherlock is never comfortable, never okay when he’s himself…except when he’s with Molly.

Sherlock trusting Molly enough to be himself with her is in itself a kind of love. It’s not an everyday romantic kind of love, but I think for Molly, it’s worth far more than any dinner date or night at the pub.  To her, it’s pure diamonds.