Lance: Well… I mean… when we got here they looked like mice so I guess we all just kind of assumed that they were mice? Which, when you think about it, is honestly kind of weird. ‘Cause the mice are 10,000 year old aliens dude… which kind of implies that mice are universal?? Like, Altea had them, and Earth has them. What are the odds of that? We’re a gazillion miles from home, but we still have mice. What could that mean? … Dude. Are the mice actually mice?
Hunk: Gonna be honest with you, I meant for this conversation to go a completely different way, but what you’re saying is really cool and now I’m interested in discussing this as a group.
Lance: Aw, thanks buddy! But what were you gonna say?
Hunk: I was gonna say that, are we sure the mice are actually mice? Because it feels like every time we tell them something, they……… rat us out!
The thing I love most about Jesse and Genji confirmed to be in Blackwatch together is that they’ve lived such diametrically opposite lives the likelihood of shenanigans just bursts through the roof so fast that it’s gonna give Gabriel a migraine practically 24/7.
Genji was a spoilt ninja rich kid so he tells McCree the benefits of exfoliating, how to kill a man with those huge thighs, to properly wear a suit and ball dance while undercover, make every cocktail known to man, and that there’s the way the military uses knives and the ways ninjas use knives.
Jesse McCree was a gang member in his teens and then lived in the military so he shows Genji how to actually use a kitchen, to fix vehicle engines while under fire, the many virtues of dishonorable fighting, make field rations edible, and dealing with the inevitable guilt and loss that comes with fighting in an army.
I just like the idea of these two guys making deep impressions on each other that blend into their personal styles of fighting and what type of people they eventually grow up into being.
jack tends not to get drunk on purpose very often, so when he’s the DD/only sober guy hanging out with the crew, he’s come to notice the weird but distinct drunk personalities of all his friends and has even named them:
bitty gets 110% more southern and 110% less filtered after a few drinks. he calls everyone out on their shit, dances super provocatively (RIP jack), and uses idioms that literally no one else in the room can understand. jack calls this persona Moomaw, because he’s met the actual Moomaw and the similarities are many and frankly disturbing. bitty hates him a little for it, and withholds kisses until jack stops calling him that. (out loud, that is)
lardo remains very much herself – quiet, confident, mysterious – until someone falls over or says something dumb and then she literally Ron Swanson giggles for twelve minutes straight. he calls this the Gigglemonster and Lardo does NOT know about this because she would probably kick him in the shins for it if she did
ransom’s the rare, lucky Happy Drunk. everything is great all the time and god everyone in this bar is fucking ‘swawsome!!!! what a great night!!! he’s the easiest to corral into jack’s truck after a night of partying. jack calls him Mr. Smiles and ransom is 100% ok with this
holster’s the opposite, the fucking Mess. he gets into weird arguments with strangers, loses all concept of an inside voice, and serenades literally any girl (or hot guy) if left alone for more than a few minutes. falls down stairs a LOT. has no understanding of personal space or manners. his persona is called Chad because he’s kind of a dick and he resents jack for this more than he hates him for the Cruel Sheep Empire. chad will only listen to mr. smiles, but mr. smiles is easily distracted and not good at telling people off, so it’s usually up to moomaw and then things get dicey.
shitty is a Drunk Crier, point blank. cries when he’s happy, cries when he’s sad, cries because jack bought him mcdonalds to shut him up, cries because lardo is the coolest person he’s ever known, cries because of social injustice in the world, cries because bitty snuck individually packaged jello shots into the club in the pockets of jack’s cargo pants – literally he’ll cry for any reason and it happens at least once an outing. Jack calls him Weepy McGee and shitty rolls with it.
one day tater will get drinks with jack and the crew and will ask, loudly, why holster is arguing with the bartender over the exact mixture of crap in his long island iced tea and jack will simply answer, “oh, that’s just Chad being Chad,” and all hell will break loose when holster overhears.