you're supposed to be evil

  • Writers: "I don't know why people like the villain, they're evil and ruthless, you're not supposed to like them."
  • *meanwhile during casting*
  • Writers: "Alright everyone, you know how this works, I need you to find me the hottest mofo you got. Think 'so crazy that I wanna kill you but I also gonna wanna bone.'"
What went down in Volpina
  • Thomas Astruc: are you ready for an epic season finale?
  • Everyone: yes pls
  • Thomas Astruc: with a new fox superheroine who teams up with the heroes to take down Hawkmoth?
  • Everyone: yes pls!
  • Thomas Astruc: PSYCH!!!!!!!!
  • Thomas Astruc: ALL WILL BE SUFFERING
  • Everyone: oh noes
  • INTRO SEQUENCE
  • Gabriel: *on phone* hey Hawkmoth! how's it going with you not being me and all that?
  • Adrien: whoa this must mean that he's not Hawkmoth bc this is defs not a staged thing
  • Gabriel: imma just leave the door to my secret safe open so that my son can peek in and see that the Moth Miraculous isn't in there
  • Adrien: oh cool let's look inside there
  • Gabriel: I should probs be careful bc if he steals that book he'll learn all my secrets
  • Adrien: hey Plagg let's steal this book!
  • Plagg: you know you're the most gullible person right?
  • Adrien: ye
  • *later*
  • Alya: so Marinette there's a new girl who's flirting with Adrien
  • Marinette: OMG SHE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON
  • Alya: wait wot
  • Alya: I thought you'd go into full-on Adrienette mode
  • Alya: do you not like Adrien anymore
  • Marinette: no I still like Adrien
  • Marinette: but this new person is such wow
  • Alya: you're not going into a fit of jealous rage?
  • Marinette: I'm totally fine with either of them dating other people as long as they're also up for dating me
  • Marinette: healthy polyamorous relationships are the greatest thing and solve so many problems
  • Alya: that's possibly the most reasonable thing I ever heard you say
  • Alya: who would have guessed you'd be able to have an unproblematic character arc
  • Marinette: imma activate the nanobots I snuck into Adrien's clothes so we can hear what they're talking about
  • Alya: dangit I jinxed it
  • Lila: so Adrien I'm a fox superhero
  • Adrien: oh cool!
  • Lila: also did you know that the Earth is flat?
  • Adrien: what really
  • Lila: yep and it's ruled by lizard people from the center of the planet
  • Adrien: it makes so much sense
  • Lila: also the moon landing never happened, climate change is a Chinese conspiracy, Shakespeare never existed, and Chloé is a nice person
  • Adrien: wow I'm learning so much!
  • Lila: and Season 2 will be out by December
  • Adrien: ok now you're defs f**king with me
  • Lila: dangit ya caught me
  • Lila: anyway imma go get akumatized now so I can help Hawkmoth
  • Adrien: why do you wanna do that
  • Lila: bc I'm just that chaotic neutral
  • Adrien: fair enough
  • Thomas Astruc: wait what about the straight people love triangle
  • Marinette: it wasn't necessary
  • Thomas Astruc: oh
  • *meteor happens*
  • Marinette: OH HOLY GLUBBIN SQUASHBONKERS THAT'S A METEOR
  • Ladybug: imma stop it
  • Volpina: how do you expect to be able to do that WHEN I GOT TO IT FIRST
  • Ladybug: omg who are you you're beautiful
  • Volpina: I'm a person who is defs not an akumatized villain and is defs a new hero who's here to help you out
  • Chat Noir: sounds fair enough
  • Ladybug: are you actually just that hot girl who looks exactly like you who said she was a fox superheroine and then said she was gonna go get akumatized
  • Volpina: nope that's not me
  • Chat Noir: see, that's absolutely convincing!
  • Ladybug: no it isn't!
  • Ladybug: also Volpina are you doing anything Tuesday evening?
  • Volpina: I thought you were interrogating me?
  • Ladybug: yeah I'm multitasking
  • Volpina: coolio while you're doing that can you also chase Hawkmoth around?
  • Hawkmoth: I am here and defs not an illusion!
  • Ladybug: but what if he's an illusion
  • Chat Noir: he says he's not so we're fine
  • Ladybug: ok then let's do this
  • Volpina: PSYCH!!!!!!!!
  • Volpina: HERE HAVE MISSILES
  • Ladybug: you're not gonna fire those
  • Volpina: why not
  • Ladybug: bc you're within the blast radius
  • Volpina: I can survive a missile blast
  • Ladybug: you're no tougher than I am, so if they don't kill you then they also won't kill me
  • Volpina: oh f**k that's a good point
  • Jacques the Pigeon: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY
  • Jacques the Pigeon: *rescues Ladybug and defeats Volpina*
  • Ladybug: ok Jacques let's not get carried away
  • Ladybug: all you did was show me where the illusions were and then I did the rest
  • Jacques the Pigeon: fine
  • Volpina: imma go to Adrien's house
  • Ladybug: and imma meet you there
  • Adrien: can you maybe not have a big fight scene in my bedroom
  • Volpina: ok that can be arranged
  • Volpina: *dangles Adrien off the top of the Eiffel Tower*
  • Adrien: THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT
  • Volpina: so Ladybug give me your Miraculous!
  • Ladybug: lucky charm!
  • *ice cream bar happens*
  • Ladybug: hey Volpina I'll give you this ice cream bar if you save Adrien and don't take our Miraculouses
  • Volpina: deal
  • Hawkmoth: no wait you're supposed to be evil
  • Volpina: nope I'm just v chaotic neutral
  • Hawkmoth: dangit
  • Marinette: *walks into Master Fu's place*
  • Master Fu: hello Ladybug!
  • Master Fu: sorry I gotta go do something
  • Master Fu: wait right there and I'll be back in a minute
  • Marinette: *waits right there for twenty-one months*
  • ROLL CREDITS

Day five for the PZOCWeek~

The MUT error sends Starr to an alternate universe of Middleberg where the heroes and villains are young and play pretend.

Rippen and Larry are older kids who always picks on the very young heroes, but Penn and the gang fight back with their imaginations~

National Treasure {Sentence Starters}
  • "You're not supposed to be up here, looking at that."
  • "Our evil plan is working."
  • "What led you to assume there's this invisible map?"
  • "Why don't you just come back down here, and we can talk through this together!"
  • "You're treasure hunters, aren't you?"
  • "Stop chatting and get in the van."
  • "When are we gonna get there? I'm hungry."
  • "I know something about history that you don't know."
  • "Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?"
  • "You are gonna go to prison. You know that, right?"
  • "Still a little on-edge from being shot at but I'll be fine, thanks for asking."
  • "No broken bones? A jump like that could kill a man."
  • "Why can't they just say, 'go to this place, here's the treasure, spend it wisely'?"
  • "You know something? You're shouting again."
  • "I'm gonna steal the Declaration of Independence!"
  • "Will someone please explain to me what these magic numbers are?"
  • "Meet me at the car. Call me if you have any problems."
  • "I'm just trying to hide from my ex-husband."
  • "If there's something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action."
  • "Anyone crazy enough to believe us isn't gonna want to help."
  • "It's a big blue-ish green man with a strange-looking goatee... I'm guessing that's significant."

I register people to the left of me as misguided and stupid and people to the right of me as outright evil and crazy. However, every time I alieve that something is evil and crazy, my auto-steelman module pops up to yell “THEY PROBABLY MAKE SENSE TO THEMSELVES, THINK MORE”, so I end up being more charitable to people to the right of me. This is the exact opposite of how thinking that people are evil is supposed to work.