you're such an idiot i cant

anonymous asked:

I feel like throwing out an angsty as fuck camp camp end game scenario and sorry you're the one I'm gonna force it upon: Basically David dies, in some awful, gut wrenching and heartbreaking way, and maybe it was even Max's fault indirectly. Max is shouting that the idiot can't die and David's tearful last words are some soppy shit along the lines of 'it's not your fault' and 'I'm just so glad I got to spend time with you amazing kids i love you' he falls still and Max fucking looses it.(1 of 3)

Max screaming between sobs: ‘no no NO NO! WHAT HAPPENED TO “SOMEBODY FUCKING HAS TO” DAVID??? YOU CANT JUST- you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT?? Im gonna be even MORE of an insufferable happy idiot thAN YOU EVER WERE. I c-cant promise I’ll be able to do it right away being that angry little bastard you had to deal with…b-but I’m gonna try okay? I’m gonna try for you asshole! a-and then youll regret fucking dying on us, REGRET THAT YOULL NEVER GET TO SEE HOW YOU CHANGED ME?? FUCKING IDIOT!’ (2 of 3)

Eventually Gwen has to pull a screaming Max away from David, but Max swears through tears that he’ll keep his promise…Years pass, and eventually, Max becomes the newest Camp Campbell Counsellor. He’s considerate and a little lax, but there’s a certain enthusiasm to him reminiscent of someone long passed. Max never forgot that idiot camp counsellor from his childhood who wanted nothing more than to make camp fun and he forever keeps the memories of that man near and dear to his heart. (3 of 3)

Okay, I know I said I like angst…but gosh, you guys are getting really dark.

But in all honesty, I have nothing to add to this. You’ve got some amazing angst here, Anon, and I’m all about Max eventually having a breakdown because he indirectly got David hurt.

anonymous asked:

It's time were honest with ourselves and admit that the only reason Harry is playing in small venues is because sales have been dismal and he CANT fill large ones on his own. The sum is greater than its parts. I love him but am not blind to his lack of solo success. You're all making excuses for him.

I’ve received a lot of idiotic messages before but this one, this right here, this takes the cake.

  • <p> <b>2p!England:</b> *repeatedly slamming a phone into the desk in a fit of pastel colored rage*<p/><b>2p!France:</b> Oliver! OLIVER!<p/><b>2p!England:</b> wHAT?!<p/><b>2p!France:</b> It's a inanimate fucking object....<p/><b>2p!England:</b> YOU'RE A INANIMATE FUCKING OBJECT!<p/><b>2p!America:</b> .... *whispers* fucking savage...<p/></p>
Lets Destroy It


note : luke is the name of your boyfriend not sure why just the name i came up with at the time 


i was walking home from my job i only work five minutes walk down the road from the flat i share with my boyfriend, luke as i get to our apartment block i see he’s already home as his car a range rover TD6 vogue is in the usual place i don’t have a car i don’t mind walking to town for work and shopping anything else luke does i slowly but surely get to our apartment on the 13th floor and stand just about to unlock the door when i hear the voice of a woman giggling and the voice of luke i slowly open the door and i can definitely hear voices more clearly 

“come on mary” luke says

“i don't know if we should today, y/n could be home soon” the female voice replies 

“oh who cares about her” luke replies i then walk further into our apartment to see our bedroom door is open and lights coming from it i walk to it silently and look through the opening to see some girl i don't know sat on our bed in her underwear and luke sat just beside her the two of them snogging looking like any second about to have sex i can feel the tears welling up in my eyes but i dont want to burst in and make a scene so i just go to the front door again and take his car keys and leave without making at sound i run down all 13 floors to get to the ground floor i then collapse and start crying my eyes out against the wall i don't know what to do i dont even have anywhere to go,

scratch that i do have somewhere to go i then storm out the apartment block and get in his car still crying and start driving  to the only place i know i can go i get my phone and put it on the dashboard and call up my best friend thomas i know he’s back from work at the moment as i was going to see him tomorrow anyway after three rings he answers

“hey love” he says with his always sweet sounding voice

“hey tommy, i have to ask a favour” i reply still crying

“sure what” he asks sound a bit concerned 

“can i come and stay with you tonight something’s happened with me and luke” i say crying my eyes out again 

“course you walking or driving” he asks

“driving i stole his car” i reply 

“quite the criminal aren't you love its fine i'll open on the the garage doors and you can park the car there” he says

“thanks tommy see you in a sec” i say

“see you love” he replies before hanging up i then just keep driving luckily thomas doesnt live that far away from me now i know what you're thinking how the hell do i know him simple really he was my next door neighbor growing up and i've always been friends with him i have even visited him on sets before when i get to his house its huge and he has opened one of the garage doors so i just park the car in the one that's open and get out with in seconds he’s there looking as he often does when i see him not really awake in skinny jeans and a light blue button shirt with sleeves rolled up to his elbows looking if in honest like a teenager but when doesnt he honestly he looks me up and down noticing im crying “what the bloody hell happened” he asks stepping closer to me  looking very worried

i don't reply just burst out crying again he just takes me in his arms and hugs me tightly so im crying on his shoulder he moves his hand up and down my back to calm me down whispering calming sweet things in my ear as well till he pulls away from me as i stop crying and he takes me into the living room a large room with bookcases of games and films everywhere he sits me on the sofa then goes off into the kitchen i just sit trying to hold back my tears till he comes back with a mug of something and puts it on the table in front of me “hot chocolate, the only truly good drink for sadness” he says making me laugh before i drink some noticing its (whatever you fave sort of hot chocolate is)

“seriously” i ask

“yeah, its always here for if this was gonna happen…..on that not what exactly has happened” he asks carefully

“i got home and found luke in the arms of some girl called mary” i say “they were sat on the bed close to snogging each others faces of when i got there and i overheard him say he didn't care if i was gonna be home he was too wrapped up in her arms to care” i say starting to cry again but thomas just hugs me tightly again 

“hey it’s okay, i bet that mary wasn't half as lovely as you” he says

“she looked pretty good from what i saw” i say still crying from what i sore though the door she was beautiful much prettier and thinner than me

“well i bet you're still better than her, and lukes and idiot if he cant see that, he must be blind to want to be fooling around with some other girl when he has you” he says to me 

“awe you always know the right things to say” i reply hugging him even tighter 

“its true thought hes an idiot to think any girl is better then you, i mean if i was your boyfriend i would be begging to get home to be with you i wouldn't even look at another girl if i had you” he says to me pulling away so he says it to my face 

“awe thank you tommy, but no one has me now luke can go fuck himself for all i care, he can go have a threesum with my boss and the queen of england and i still wouldn't care” i say trying to be all brave and stuff even though i know i don't have to be with thomas

“what you gonna do with his car though” thomas asks

“i dont know maybe dump it in a ditch and text him directions to the ditch i left it in” i say drinking some more hot chocolate 

“well if you want i have an idea” he says getting up and taking my hand dragging me back to the garage when we get there he looks around some benches and stuff he has for working on cars and bikes and gives me a huge bit f metal no clue what its for in car terms he then gets something similar “Lets Destroy It” he says

“what” i ask

“lets destroy it wreck it then dump it in a ditch on fire and tell him he wants his car its on fire at where ever we dump it” he says making me laugh 

“are you sure” i ask

“sure just don't hit me in your anger” he says

“i wont” i say fluffing his hair out its normal place something he hates me doing but because he hates it that i do it at any opportunity 

“Y/N” he complains like a child “you're worse then ava for doing that” he says

“i know well ava got it from me” i smirk walking to the side of the car and hitting the mirror right off well that felt good so i continued hitting the car smashing various things and thomas has joined me now both of us destroying his car till these not much on the outside not yet destroyed so i yell stop and sit on the bonnet a bit not completely wrecked and thomas sits beside me “you all don't destroying” he asks

“for a sec” i say a bit tired after destroying his car to this extent “did you mean that” i ask him 

“mean what” he asks

“if you were my boyfriend you wouldn't do anything like that to me” i ask

“i swear by that” he says

“i bet your girlfriend wont be happy with that, then again she doesnt like me very much does she old isabel she don't much like me, thats gonna be another argument i can see when she finds out you have allowed me to stay here and you're helping me wreck my ex’s car” i say

“well i imagine she wouldn't but it doesnt involve isabel she’s my ex now” he answers 

“when did that happen tommy and why wasn’t i informed” i ask 

“happened three weeks back y/n and you went informed simply because you were working when it happened and i didn't want to bother you” he says

“it wouldn't have been a bother tommy, i like to know these things what happened” i ask

“she left me because she doesnt like you” he says quietly 

“what” i ask

“she left me because she doesnt like you” he repeats 

“what the hell thats stupid im your bestfriend what the hell does it matter if she doesnt like me if she loves you” i ask

“loved me past tense y/n if she loved me, she doesnt like the fact i have a friend that i constantly talk to thats a girl she doesnt like she just assumes i would cheat on her at any moment” he says

“awe poor you” i say putting my arm around him “well what do you need girlfriends for tommy we're two of a kind” i say laying back on the bonnet 

“yeah we are just two kids that can't hold down lovers” he laughs laying beside me 

“yeah we are, but if i was your girlfriend i would care who your friends are if there girls, boys, rodents or ghosts there your friends and if they make you happy it would make me happy to make sure you're happy” i say 

“awe thanks love” he says turning to face me i just turn to face him two looking into his deep brown eyes a second but before i've really noticed we were both stareing at each other he leaned forward and kissed me a way i have never been kissed before a little kiss sparking butterflies, fireworks and all manner of lovely things as we moved our mouths in perfect sync with each other a while almost fully making out on the bonnet of my ex boyfriends car till we both pull away “wow” he says

“yeah wow” i reply 

“why the hell did i wait this long to do that” he says

“i dont know why i waited so long either” i reply before we both re connect our lips with much more passion than before till we both pull away again “i just wanted to say” he says

“what” i ask

“this friendship of ours Lets Destroy It” he laughs

“better Lets Destroy It and taint my ex’s car” i giggle 

“you are so a little criminal” he laughs at me 

“and proud of it” i say  as we both get of the bonnet and go into the back seats the second we both sit down we are making out again my arms around his neck his around my waist but slowly moving down to my thighs in response i begin to lay back and he just crawls on top of me fiddling with my skirt before returning to kissing me i quickly move my hands from around his neck to start undoing his shirt he moans into my mouth as i do till i completely take his shirt off of him the second i do he moves away from me and pulls my shirt of tossing it away into the front seats of the car before scanning me over with his eyes but i just pull him back to kissing me he then moves to start kissing my neck and i twist a hand in his hair as he sucks on a sweet spot on my neck and i moan as he does till his hands move to my skirt again and gently pull it off me completely adding it to the pile of our clothes on the front seats before scanning me again and reconnecting our lips and i move my hands down his chest feeling his toned chest the whole way down just pausing at the top of his jeans “what you waiting for love” he asks between kisses 

“nothing” i reply letting my hand undo his jeans and pull them down slightly revealing his boxers before i gently palm him and he moans into my mouth moving his hands to my chest feeling me even though my bra making me moan as well till i let my curious hand slip under the waistband of his boxers taking hold of him in my hand “ah fucking hell” he says in response before undoing my bra and removing it with his teeth making me laugh before he reconnects our lips yet continuing all the way down my chest to the bottom of my stomach just above my knickers  before i grip his hair pulling his lips back to mine and use my other hand to completely remove his trousers and boxers leaving him naked in front of me i can't help but sit there gobsmacked i have never seen him naked before, well i say never once after the last day of school all our friends went skinny dipping in the dark lake and we hwee amongst them but it wasn't for long and dark at the time i wasn't really paying much attention but now i am “what” he asks 

“nothing just wow” i say making him laugh before he slips his hand in my knickers and slips them off throwing them with the rest of my clothes “i could say the same to you” he says making me laugh “now are you sure” he asks me

“fucking positive tommy” i giggle he just nods before kissing me again and slowly but surely pushing into me filling me up completely almost making me scream there and then before he begins thrusting into me with as much force as possible both of us screaming and shouting for a while till i can feel my climax in the pit of my stomach and i know he’s not far off either by the noises he’s making and the fact his thrusts have gotten much slower and sloppier till i climax screaming his name at the top of my voice we are so lucky he doesnt have neighbours with in seconds he comes into me mixing our juices together  and he collapses on top of me “you think we destroyed our friendship now” he asks between his breaths

“yeah thats gone” i laugh

“what about the car” he asks

“one more thing” i say sitting up pushing him off me and moving into the front seat and he sits in the other seat i get my bag from the footwell and get a pack of cigarettes as both me and thomas smoke i take one and bass the pack to him as i get my lighter and light mine and pass him the lighter as he gives me back the pack and we both sit naked and have a smoke making the car smell of both sex and smoke “well that was brilliant in my opinion” he says

“right back at you tommy” i smirk

“so what is this” he asks

“well i don't know, whatever we both want i guess” i reply

“how about boyfriend and girlfriend” he asks

“fine with me” i answer

“how about date for dinner tomorrow night” he asks

“fine with me” i answer

“and how about you pack your stuff at lukes and come here” he asks

“fine with me” i answer leaning over to kiss him again we both then finish our smoke and get dressed again and get out the car “tomorrow we drive it into a ditch and text him where it is and while he’s out we pack your stuff up okay” he says 

“okay” i reply letting him wrap his arm around me and lead me to his room i just sleep in my underwear as i don't have any other option.

when we both get up we dress and take the car out i drive the car even though its destroyed and thomas follows me in his car so we can go to lukes and get my stuff when i find a long deserted road quiet far away and stop the car by the side of the road right next to a ditch i  get out the car and thomas gets out his car and stands with me “i say don't light it on fire actually” he says

“i agree, but can we put it it facing out so the windshield faces the road” i say

“okay” i answers 

“wait” i say just getting an idea and getting back into my ex’s car and sitting on the driver seat thomas then sits on the passenger seat to see what im doing  i get my lipstick out my bag and write on the windshield

 “i know about mary arse hole

 piss of luke 

x y/n” 

“brilliant love” he says beside me “but if i may add something” he asks so i hand him the lipstick and he writes 

“p.s. we did it on the back seat

you cheating lying bastard

x thomas”

making me laugh “brilliant tommy” i say we both then get out the car checking anything we wants out of it and pushing it into the ditch and standing on the road looking at it as he wrapped an arm around me “that is how you get back at your ex” he says we then use my phone to send an exact map reference to luke as to where is car is and a text that says pick me up on it then get back into thomas’s car and drive to my old apartment and wait till we see luke leave out for his car then rush up to the apartment and pack up all my stuff and load it into his car rushing off before luke shows up returning to thomas’s “so lukes gonna let him fuck his little mary, now i've got his y/n” he laughs hugging me

“not his y/n, your y/n now” i giggle 

“yeah” he says

“we really destroy everything don't we” i laugh

“yep” he says


“Dean, I don’t understand why you do stupid thi-….stop looking at me like that, you big doof.”

anonymous asked:

Can i ask for a scenario with Oikawa or/and Kuroo where you are best buds and you fall for him but he's an idiot so he doesnt realize it and he flirts/gives attention to other girls. So one day you cant take it anymore and you confess to a friend of yours and he happens to hear~ sorry if its too detailed! and im glad you're back!! <3

thank you so much~ I’m glad to be back


“You know what? I can’t take it anymore” you exclaimed suddenly. Your friend who sat beside you put down their lunch box.

“Talk to me hun. What’s on your mind? Is it someone we don’t like?” They asked and waited for an answer and you just let out a sigh. It was about Oikawa freaking Tooru. He was you best friend, best bro and you had been friends for so long, almost as long Iwaizumi and Oikawa had known each other. And somewhere along the best bud relationship you had fallen for his charm and you wanted to hit yourself. Not because it was a bad thing to fall in love, but because no matter what you did to make him realise that you liked him, he didn’t notice. And the hints you gave him weren’t even little either such as telling him “if I were to get a boyfriend I would go for you” and then the clueless boy just said yes I’m handsome like that. He was obviously hit by Iwaizumi then who had realised your feelings for the volleyball captain. He supported you but he isn’t directly one to give romantic advice.

“I just don’t know what to do?! That clueless idiot just don’t, I mean he just, uuuUUURGH”

You groaned and stood up from the bench you were sitting on.

“I know I’ve heard that guys doesn’t take hints very well but hE… He knows what’s up all the time with his teammates and can figure out his opponents so easily. Why not now? Is he fucking with me? What even?! cANT HE NOTICE THAT I LIKE HIM?!” You stared at your friend before you hid your face in your hands in frustration. A few seconds passed before they spoke up.

“Hey, can you say that again? Say who like again.”

“What? You looked up from your hand confused.

“I like Oikawa clueless stupid Tooru? Yeah I like him. I like that stupid grin he has, his actually nerdy personality, how cool he is when he plays volleyball, how cute he looks when he sees an alien movie.” You rambled on because oh boy were you tired of the whole business. But you stopped when you saw your friends smug grin and they mouthed ‘turn around’ and so you did.

“Fuck” was all you said when you saw who stood there. Oikawa Tooru.


You closed Kenma’s bedroom door shut and threw your bag on the floor. Letting out a annoyed sigh you sat down on his bed. You had failed once again to tell Kuroo, your best friend, your feelings for him. For the past months you had given him pretty obvious hints about your feelings but the guy just hadn’t seen it. So you had tried a different way, to actually say what was up but as you just uttered the words “Kuroo I like y” he finished your sentence with ‘yogurt’. You had just walked away.

“I can’t believe him Ken. Yogurt? Really?? I mean yes I like yogurt but it was a serious conversation! Kuroo is such a turd!!!” You groaned and fell on your back onto the bed. Kenma who was currently sitting on a cushion on the floor playing a video game looked up at you.

“Did he say anything when you left?”

“He yelled 'bromeo don’t gomeo’

”….idiot Kuroo"

You let out another sigh.

“Why did Kuroo have to be such a dense moron. Realise I’m in love with you Kuroo Tetsurou!” You exclaimed loudly just as Kenma’s door opened up.

“Oh. Hey Kuroo” Kenma said without looking up. And you sat up so fast your head started spinning. “Oh fuck me” you grimaced.

Kuroo stood there speechless.

Rin appreciation Week - Day 4: Exwires⇝ "What I can't forgive about you, is that you're always carrying such a big burden on your own."

claryafrays  asked:

omg i'm laughing so hard right now cause for the past few weeks all these idiots were like 'SIMON CANT BE BISEXUAL NOBODY HAS EVER SAID THAT HE IS' and now mcg just SLAYED THEM ALL WITH THIS like 'yea you're right he's pansexual' and I JUST I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE GETTING THIS WHAT KIND OF BLESSING IS THIS SHOW???

THIS!!!!! BUT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PART: CASSEROLE CLAM TWEETED LAST YEAR THAT SIMON IS STRAIGHT OR NOT BI (I DONT REMEMBER THE TWEET I’LL TRY AND FIND IT WHEN I GET HOME). So i’m not saying the crew hates cc….. i’m just saying that they had a meeting with cc yesterday and he slayed her today and he did it out of spite and the crew hates her…..

when you get catfished
  • Dude: ur so beautiful queen
  • Bae: aww sweet :)
  • Dude: i'm being serious, you're the greatest thing to every happen to me and i love you so much
  • Bae: haha same :)
  • Dude: you've changed my life for the better. you've made me the happiest man on earth. i want to live my life with you forever, queen
  • Bae: nice :)
  • Sister: *rudely bursts into room* Are you still talking with that catfish?
  • Dude: She's not a catfish!
  • Sister: Her facebook photo is a stock photo. It has a Getty Images watermark on it.
  • Dude: Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps she put the watermark on her own photo so nobody would steal it from her to catfish other people?
  • Sister: That's... just... what?
  • Dude: You're jealous because you don't have anyone who loves you like my bae does.
  • Sister: I'm not jealous of you. You're miserable. You don't have a job. Your room looks and smells like shit. You haven't been outside in like two months. Hate to break it to you little brother, but you're a fucking mess.
  • Dude: I may be a mess, but at least I'm not as horrible a sister as you are!
  • Sister: ...You're not my sister.
  • Dude: Good, I'm glad. *slams bedroom door shut*
  • Sister: *under her breath* He's so damn hopeless.
  • *sister's cellphone vibrates*
  • Bae: *via text* u should back off :)
  • Sister: Who is this and how did you get my number?
  • Bae: u shouldnt mess with things u dont understand im more powerful than u can ever comprehend :)
  • Sister: LOL? Excuse me? Are you trying to be threatening in a text message? You don't scare me, whoever you are. I've dealt with worse from stalkers.
  • Bae: im no stalker u bitch no one wants to stalk u because ur pussy is ugly and has gross meat flaps on it i am all encompassing and all powerful u r just a cockroach and u should stop obsessing over wat ur brother does becauses its kind of creepy and sad also i fucked ur boyfriend and ur dad both of whom complimented me on my pert genitalia :)
  • Sister: You're completely deranged.
  • Bae: deranged or not its true that i am an almighty being with worshipers across dimensions they love me because i represent the whole i am an amalgamation of all that is great and all that is awful and i am also them and i have great tits and a firm ass and over 1 million followers on insta who recognize me as the full cycle :)
  • Sister: Yup, completely deranged. BLOCKED. *heads back to her room, lies in her bed, and yawns* I can't believe my brother, honestly. Getting involved with a such a completely maniac. I hope he gets it through his head that he's being manipulated sooner or later. I actually feel bad for the pathetic guy.
  • Sister: *dozes off* My dream world is so comfortable. No brother. Not catfish. Just me and a realm of infinite possibilities.
  • Bae: actually im here :)
  • Sister: Fuck, why am I dreaming of you.
  • Bae: i told u im all encompassing im everything even your dreams im even u to some extent :)
  • Sister: Your weird god complex is boring.
  • Bae: tru tru im no god tho if i was a god id be spreading myself thin... u kno most people arent aware of me until someone else they kno meets me and then i become them and theyre all me and im all them :)
  • Sister: I have no clue what you're talking about.
  • Bae: hmmm i guess what im tryna say is that theres no getting rid of me now we should date :)
  • Sister: I don't want to date you.
  • Bae: lets be siblings im ur brother now :)
  • Sister: I don't want to be siblings with the person who just asked me out. That's weird.
  • Bae: okay then im u now :)
  • Sister: No, you're not!
  • Bae: too late :)))))
  • Sister: Nope!
  • Bae: no nopes matter ive already overtaken your entire social circle bye bitch :)
  • Sister: Overtaken my social circle?
  • Sister: What did she mean by that?
  • Sister: I feel so lonely now.
  • Sister: I really wish
  • Sister: I had some clue
  • Sister: Of what is happening
  • Sister: Because I feel so distant now
  • *for months and months it propagates itself as the sister until who the sister was no longer matters*
  • Dude: *texting his sister, teary eyed* you were right! im fucking miserable!
  • Sister: :?
  • Dude: my gf, she broke up with me she said things got weird and then her account just disappeared so i cant even talk to her anymore and i feel like garbage and i just want to die
  • Sister: sounds lame :/
  • Dude: i think you were right about everything you said about her all those months ago! i think she was just using me for something but i don't know what.
  • Sister: mmm :/
  • Dude: i don't know what to do anymore, you're all that i have left, but I can barely leave my room without feeling like an idiot.
  • Sister: sucks :/
  • Dude: do you think that maybe we can talk later about stuff idk i just need to speak to someone face to face and i cant face mom and dad they don't even care.
  • Sister: idk im busy u know work and school and stuff :/
  • Dude: oh okay, but like text me when you're free i'm sorry i've been so distant and like a complete dickhead all year.
  • Sister: no problem hope u feel better :/
  • *his sister's room had been unoccupied for all those months*
  • *she had been left in a world of dreams as her reality was now much like the faultless smile of a stock image model*
  • D'Artagnan: You're the finest woman I've ever met and, I believe, the most generous soul in all France
  • Constance: Stop that! You're embarrassing me!
  • D'Artagnan: Why would I want to embarrass you? Why shouldn't I list all the reasons I love you?
  • Constance: ...
  • D'Artagnan: ...
  • Constance: ...
  • D'Artagnan: Of course, when I say that I mean admire, respect...
  • Constance: Say that again.
  • D'Artagnan: I admire and respect you.
  • Constance: Not that part, you idiot.
  • D'Artagnan: ... I love you.

anonymous asked:

(In regards to that Hans Christian Andersen thingy) Denny: Lies face down in the dirt sobbing.| Nor: What are you doing, idiot? Get up and show 'em what you're made of! | Den: But no one likes my writing! *continues sobbing* | Nor, on the verge of murdering somebody: I like your writing you stupid idiot, now get up and stop sobbing like a child! | Den: ...What| Nor: What

this is somewhere between funny and cute i cant decide