you're speaking to my soul

The Picture of Dorian Gray
  • Lord henry: wow basil who u paintin
  • basil: NOBODY [sweats]
  • lord henry: he's p. hot u should show this pic to everyone
  • basil: dude i cant theres ~too much of my self in it~
  • lord henry: LMAO BASIL you ugly fuck that guys the hottest dude ive ever seen and you.... well.... arent..... but dw im sure hes dumb as shit
  • basil: .........:(((...........but i love him
  • dorian: sup guys im here now what talkin about
  • basil: how hot you are
  • lord herny: yeah
  • dorian: hahah omfg
  • bail: let me finish my painting
  • lord henry: OKAY im going
  • dorian: HENRY NO DONT LEAVE ME HERE its v. boring
  • henry: k fine let me just poison your entire worldview and turn you into an asshole in like 1 page
  • lord henry: hey u know dorian that painting of u is p hot but you wont be hot forever one day you will be OLD and GROSS
  • Dorian: oh fuck
  • dorian: oh god really
  • dorian: if only through some ambiguous dark magic the painting could get old and gross instead of me :'(((
  • basil: dude chill
  • dorian: I WOULD RATHER KILL MYSELF THAN BE OLD AND GROSS
  • Basil: ~DORIAN NO~
  • Basil: I will destroy the painting
  • Dorin: basil no its pretty
  • Basil: fine
  • Hery: k bye everyone i got stuff to do
  • ~later~
  • basil: hey dorian hey
  • basil: here you can have this painting bc im madly in love with you
  • Dorian: SWEET ok bye
  • Dorian: [closes door]
  • dorian: [looks at painting]
  • dorian: [breathes heavily]
  • Dorian: fuck............ im so hot.........
  • ~1 month later~
  • dorian: hey everyone im engaged to this actress
  • everyone: cool lets go see her play
  • actress: [bad acting]
  • Dorian: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!! ACTRESS!!!!! WHY YOU ARE V. DISAPPOINTING
  • actress: b/c I love u :'(((
  • Dorian: u suk bye bitch
  • actress: kills self
  • dorian: [doesn't know]
  • painting: ~evil vibes~
  • dorian: ew omg no no no i must write an apologetic letter to the girl i hastily ceased loving
  • henry: lol she dead
  • dorian: SHITTTTTTTT SHITS SHIT
  • dorian: Thats it there is no good left in my heart
  • henry: haha yeah also here have this book that will turn you into even more of a jerk
  • dorian: tnx henri
  • henry: bye
  • basil: DORIAN WHAT THE HELL OH GOD you are not the starry eyed little twink i knew 1 month ago what happen to you dorian no ilu
  • dorian: ((hmmmmm basil would probably turn me into a better person......... but no...... i am an evil man......evil.......to the core..))
  • dorian: Bye basil
  • ~5 years pass~
  • dorian: hahah im such a bad person but who gives a fuck
  • dorian: [various ke$ha songs and montage of him throwing money and jewels and music and rich tapestries and orgies everywhere]
  • dorion: k that was fun
  • painting: [hella gross]
  • dorian: lmao
  • ~another 5 years pass~
  • basil: dorin omfg hi is that u
  • dorian: yea
  • basil: i have heard bad things about u dorian everyone says youre a fucking asshole but i don't believe them bc you're too hot
  • dorian: hahahahaha actually speaking of do you want to see my ~soul~
  • basil: lol wut
  • dorian: HERE IS THE PAINTING
  • Basl : HOLYF FUCK WHA THT EHFUCKIGN
  • dorian: .........wait.... why did i show you that.......
  • dorian: fuck...... i have to kill you srry
  • basil: [dead]
  • dorian: hm.
  • dorian: hello chemist man can u pls destroy that body with your chemistry magic
  • chemist man: k
  • ~later~
  • henry: sup kid
  • dorian: stuff
  • dorian: hey henry do u think basil got murderd
  • henry: dunno prolly dont care really
  • dorian: .......k
  • ~later~
  • dorian: haha wow
  • dorian: I'm a bad person
  • dorian: this sucks better go kill myself tbh
  • Dorian: [stabs painting n dies]
  • police: wtf this is gross
  • ~FIN~

anonymous asked:

omg Kate, as always you're speaking from my soul. the entire "Harry MUST eat unhealthy 24/7 because EVERYTHING is a lie and he's NEVER eaten a salad because he's a messy manly BOY" discourse is too fucking annoying let Harry eat kale ffs he's literally glowing where do people think this comes from if not a healthyish diet

fjdks literally ik like i totally get that we get angry and frustrated over the disparity btwn harry and louis’ public images - rightfully so, and i do too! - but too often it somehow turns into this thing where harry never eats healthy!!! he eats burgers all the time!!!!! and then ppl…get…mad? when he does eat healthy?? or when louis drinks corona and eats a burger and it’s just like ??? alright. my buddy,,, my pal,,, mm maybe take a step back there for a second, my friend. idk it’s just such a strange thing to get riled up about at this point imo. and seemingly unbeknownst to a great portion of this website, people are v complex beings and just bc something is part of their image doesn’t mean the Exact Opposite is the Truth?? i’m sure they both have very healthy and balanced diets bc neither of them would look as incredible and fit and glowing as they do if they DIDN’T!! they can still go out for pints and booze it up and have some junk food here and there while doing so; i mean, you gotta do it to keep your head on straight sometimes. case in point: me, your resident lowkey health freak vegan who demolished an entire pint of ben & jerry’s new non-dairy pb & cookies ice cream the other day bc she fuckin’ wanted it and then proceeded to have a salad for dinner. amaze. idk man, life is all about balance and tumblr has a tendency to make things like this so black and white. but as always, that’s just my onion. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯