you're so funny and adorable

I was scouring the net to see if there was anything from the Portland Wizard World I had missed, or if anybody had posted a video, and came across a story someone had posted on another forum about Matt and Alex’s autographs.

Apparently Alex was asked to autograph the picture of their first kiss - precisely, this picture:

- and by some odd chance, she decided to sign on ‘Matt’.

When the same picture - along with a bunch of other pictures - was given to Matt to sign, he stopped (he just zoomed through other pictures), and said: ‘ “Now why did Alex sign on top of me? Ugh, you can’t do anything with her”

and proceeded to sign. On top of her.

screenshot because writing the tags after is a nightmare

hehe, I’m not going to say no to that, anon ;)

~~

*221B*
Molly: *leans forward* Do it.
Sherlock: *reading the paper* No.
Molly: *playfully prods his foot with hers* Just once.
Sherlock: *turns the page* Nope.
Molly: Please?
Sherlock: *looks up* Molly-
Molly: *pouts* For me?
Sherlock: *sighs; folds his paper, clears his throat* Well, thief, where are you? Come now, don’t be shy-
Molly: *grinning* No, the other one.
Sherlock: *frowns* What other one?
Molly: *twirls her hair on her finger* The one I like.
Sherlock: …
Sherlock: *raises an eyebrow* Ohhh, the one you…like?
Molly: *nods*
Sherlock: *smirks* Shall I destroy-
Molly: Properly.
Sherlock: *mutters* Why did I marry you?
Molly: *teasing* ‘cause you love me.
Sherlock: *looks at her; slicks his hair back and deepens his voice* Shall I destroy you, Mrs. Holmes? Or will you give me what I want?
Molly: *giggles; holds her hand up*
Sherlock: *raises an eyebrow*
Molly: *waves her hand* Come on, you were very good.
Sherlock: *pats her hand and clasps their fingers; pulls her to him* Now… *lifts her into his arms* …shall we begin?
Molly: *giggles* Yes, please.

~~

this got a bit out of hand…

“Oh my god, do you ever shut up? Do I talk this much, too?" 

Watch on exo--vines.tumblr.com

He’s so beautiful like how does someone like him even exist?

Ashton in bed

I’m pretty sure Ashton is a kinky ass motherfucker in bed. Like, you would have to be heavily willing to try out new things for the sexual side of the relationship to work. I mean, can’t you just imagine him messaging you every day and telling you about some scenario that he’s heard of and how he wants to test it out? Some days he would be into the teacher/student thing, or other days it would be the whole masseuse/client. And then other times, it would just be something simple, like, he’d get handcuffs or…

Like, I think he would so obsessed with your sex lives that he would actually invest in it. And whenever you got home from work, Ashton would be no where to be seen, and then lying on your bed would be a new sexy outfit that he’d purchased during the day. And one time it would be a little maid outfit and then you’d hear this growl behind you in the doorway saying, ‘get dressed, sweet heart, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.’ And when you turned around you could already see his cock straining ridiculously hard against his shorts.

And he would just have no shame at all. There would never be a hint of un-confidence whenever you played out his little scenes. Ashton would just be loud and dominating, but also incredibly smart. Like, during the maid thing, he would actually force you to make him food while he sat on the bar stool at the other side of the counter and watched. But he would request you to get the ingredients from either the furthest bottom shelf or the tallest shelf. So when you bent down, your ass would stick up into the air, and he would have a perfect view of underneath your little skirt. And when you had to grab a step ladder to climb up to the highest shelf, he would have absolutely no embarrassment in getting up from his seat, walking to stand directly beside you, and then titling his head to have a gape underneath the skirt.

And then it was always Ashton dominating on top, or Ashton dominating from the bottom. You would never have the control. And you would never even attempt to get the control, because you would love him telling you what to do. And the more and more you had sex, the more you would realise that patronising rhetorical questions were his thing. Like, whenever he was running the tip of his cock up and down your dripping wet heat, it would always be, 'you want my cock baby girl? hey? do you want me to fuck you honey?’ and, like, NO SHIT. But he’d keep going, and even when he was slamming his dick into you and grasping onto your breasts, he would continue asking, 'do you like that? yeah? my cock fits so good in your tight little pussy, doesn’t it?' 

Despite his controlling attitude, however, you would be able to see his little downfalls. Like, if he’d ordered you to give him a little strip tease, and he was just sitting down on a chair watching you dance, he wouldn’t be able to control his arousal. He would have to unbutton his pants and dive his hand in to get himself off to the sight of you. And then you’d see his eyes roll back and his head fall and you would know that you’re having a good effect on him.

And that wouldn’t be the only time you could see the little glimmer of weakness. Whenever he came, or was close to coming, all of his walls would crash down, and he would start rambling his emotions. Like, 'oh, shit, baby, you’re so- fuck-fucking perfect,’ 'yes, oh God, y-you’re gonna make me come, babe,’ 'I’m so lucky, sh-shit, I love you Y/N, I l-love you so so much.’ And then even after he’d shot his load into you and fallen beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to pull your head to rest on his chest, he would continue to garble on saying, 'I am the most fortunate man in the world to have such an amazing girl like you in my life, baby, you’re so beautiful and intelligent and loving and funny and absolutely adorable baby.’

And Ashton’s biggest turn on would be having you completely vulnerable to him. So if you were horny, he was instantly hornier. And sometimes, if he had been teasing you for so long, you would be so aroused that you would need to rub against whatever you were on. Like, if you were sitting on the bed, you’d have to grind your centre into the mattress, or if you were on Ashton’s lap, you’d need to subtly ride his thigh. But it would never go unnoticed by him, and Ashton would never stop you. Instead, he’d use it to make him seem more in authority, saying, 'aw, look at my poor girl, so desperate for any friction. You little whore, aren’t you a cutie.’ And then eventually he just wouldn’t be able to contain himself, and he’d need to grab you and force you into kissing him.

And oh my, he’d be addicted to your moaning. So much so if you were hanging out with mates, and you accidentally stubbed your toe on something and whimpered, he wouldn’t be able to help himself but to think of it sexually. And not long later, he’d have to grab your waist and quietly heave you away from the group, taking you into another room. And he would push you up against the door and hiss into your ear, 'naughty girl, whimpering like a porn star in front of all my friends,’ and he would just slip his hand up your dress and delve into your panties to finger you. Whenever he was the one pleasuring you, he would always keep strong eye contact because, again, he would love to watch the effect he had on you.

But then he’d have this ability to make you feel so much better with sex. Like, say you’d been having a really awful day and you were feeling gross and ugly, Ashton would immediately be able to tell. And he would seek it as his own job to be able to make you feel better. So, he would just seize you up into his arms and take you away to the bedroom, and he’d make sure things were a bit more sensual for you. And then he would just worship your body and hold you as close to himself as he possible could, whispering things like, 'I’ll always think you’re the most wonderful girl in the world, honey,’ and, 'Never will I ever find someone more beautiful than you.’

-

Luke / Michael / Calum

-

cumofsatan  asked:

I really adore your sense of humor you're just so funny and you are literally the most beautiful person i've seen in my whole life. today i watched every single video thats on your channel and i fucking died because you are so funny. and now that i've seen your tumblr i just fell even more in love with you. you are such an inspiring person. please stay true to yourself and dont let anyone tell you you are not as fucking amazing as you fucking are and sorry my english is bad i'm from germany, ily

this was so sweet. I promise I’ll always be myself. I love you and thank you for supporting me