you're not quite satan but i really think i hate you

anonymous asked:

hiiii idk why i'm so nervous but i really really wanna start writing fanfiction. ljke full out "woah this makes me feel stuff" fanfiction and i thought you'd be the best place to come for pointers because you're literally amazing but anyways do ylu have any suggestions as to 1. where to write it 2. starting tips 3. what not to do?? thanks!! i really really want to but i'm little scared to

OOOH, I WAS RECENTLY GIVING THE SAME ADVICE TO MEG BONNEY ON TWITTER. Okay, here we go. Let’s do this. 

How To Start Writing Fanfic for Beginners: 

  • Okay, so, the first thing we usually do is have a beta reader– someone who looks over stories and checks for writing flow, typos, and, most importantly in the case of fanfiction, characterization. You find one before you start writing so that you have a cheerleader who can talk about ideas with you and push you through when you feel like you wanna quit. This is a formality, though, and can be skipped. My one-shots usually are in the 20k+ range so I like to have three or four people look over them, but if I’m writing a 6k one shot, for example, I only have one beta reader.
    • I’m actually pretty sure that the origination of this practice actually came from everyone trying to figure out how to make friends in fandom. If you’re the beta reader on someone’s story, you’re automatically buddies. Google docs has made this way easier, though– it used to be long email chains. *shudders*
  • Step two, decide which host sites you’re going to post your fic on. Different fandoms are more popular on different fic sites. The most popular fanfic sites are http://fanfiction.net , http://archiveofourown.org (AO3, we call it), and sometimes tumblr, depending on the length of the fic! 
    • So, for example, the Percy Jackson fandom is really really into http://fanfiction.net (or at least was when I was writing for it?) That’s where you get the most reviews/comments and the most hits for that fandom. In the case of Teen Wolf/Stydia the most popular site is AO3, easily. But if the piece you wrote is a drabble (in the 1k range), you can also plop it on tumblr. If it’s in the 2k range, it’s acceptable to put it on tumblr under a “read more.”
    • For all these sites, you need an account, but AO3 is technically in beta mode (idk why; it’s been like that for multiple years?) and therefore you sign up and then have to wait for an invite. But it’s worth it because once you have an account, you can view the history of the fics you’ve read, bookmark faves, leave comments, and, of course, publish fics.
    • Unlike ffnet, AO3 also categorizes fics into fandoms, which is really really helpful if you write for multiple fandoms. Their sorting system is really good and really specific, which is why people use it. I think that, at this point, AO3 is undoubtedly the most diversely enjoyed site.
  • Here’s some things you definitely need to know about posting on AO3: 
    • (This is SUPER important), it’s considered REAL bad manners to tag characters/ships that aren’t the centric pairing. So, the fic is gonna ask you for characters and the ship. If you’re writing a fic where Stiles and Lydia are the centric pairing, you’re gonna fill in Lydia Martin, Stiles Stilinski, and then Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski. But say your story also has a few scenes with Scott? Either don’t mention Scott, or do “Scott McCall- Side.”
    • The reader should be able to clearly tell what type of fic it is by your tags. (Unless you don’t want them to know). You can create your own tags or you can use the site’s already established ones. AO3 tags can get slightly obnoxious but nobody’s going to call you out for that so enjoy. 
    • If your fic takes place within the bounds of the series, you tag it "Canon Compliant.” If it not only fits with the plot of the series but also takes place literally during the series, tag it “Missing Moments.” If it diverges from the plot line of the series, you tag it “Canon Divergent.” If it is after the series is over, tag it “Post-Canon." 
    • If it’s AU, tag the kind of AU it is. “Coffee Shop AU” “AU– The Hunger Games” “AU– Everyone Lives” “AU– Stiles is Olaf from Frozen and gets it on with Anna who is Lydia.” (Spoilers for my next fic.) (Just kidding.) 
    • ALSO when you’re posting, it’s a huge struggle because AO3 either requires HTML coded stuff (for italics, etc) or rich text. My suggestion would be either putting your fic on tumblr and copy and pasting the rich text from the finished post, or getting an account on ffnet and using their document uploader to c+p your fic into, then save it and copy and paste it into the rich text part of the fic loader on AO3
  • So now, ratings. 
    • Here’s what you’ve got: G,T, M, E. 
    •  G is like… no swearing, no mention of sex, you could read it as a bed time story to a 6 year old.
    • T is swearing, acknowledgment that sex exists, maybe some kissing (but you’re getting to shaky territory as soon as you venture anywhere remotely past second base) light, non-descriptive violence (there’s also a tag for violence under "archive warnings” because some people get triggered by it.)
    • M is lighter sex scenes (I would say anything that doesn’t describe genitalia? Idk, this is a real fine line. I think you’ll feel it in your bones. Or, bone, in the case of smut. 
      • Nailed that joke. 
      • HA GEDDIT. I did it again.
    • E is like, you’re going to hell for writing this, enjoy hanging out with satan in the fiery pits, I hope it’s worth it.
  • If you post on tumblr, tag appropriately. Tumblr tagging is different from ao3– you just tag to sort things, and so that the right people see your work. So, like, if you wrote a Stydia fic, obviously don’t tag it Sterek or Sciles because you’ll get hate, lmao. You can tag character names, but I would suggest you don’t tag “Stiles Stilinski” or “Lydia Martin” because the Sterk/Mrrish/Stlia shippers tend to attack you. Also, only the first five tags count.

And now, the Don’ts of fanfiction***

  • Make sure your spacing doesn’t look awful. 
    • It makes people not wanna read it 
    • You should know what regular spacing looks like. If you’re able to correct it so that there’s not eons of space between paragraphs, I would do that. 
  • Don’t say “Sorry for the bad summary I promise it’s better than it sounds” in your summary. 
  • “Their tongues battle for dominance” or other equally cliche dialogue
  • Original characters as main characters
  • Fandom crossovers are almost always rolled their eyes at in the fic community. Like, you can thrust your characters into a different universe, but normally, you can’t use the original characters. So by all means, write a Percy Jackson AU, but don’t make Fitzwilliam Darcy best friends with Annabeth Chase. 
  • POV SWITCHING IN YOUR FIC
    • Okay this is really delicate because some people can do it really well and some people can’t
    • Switching back and forth between character point of view within one section of your fic is really hard for the reader to keep up with and it tends to look clumsy. It’s a no-no. 
    • If you have divides between sections, that’s where you can switch POV. 
    • However, I tend to write almost all of my fics with just one POV. I pick Character 1 or Character 2 no matter how long it is. It’s cleaner that way. 
    • NEVER USE FIRST PERSON IN FANFICTION, IT IS UNIVERSALLY LOATHED. 
    • I need to remember this one– don’t describe clothes too much. You’ll sound like a cheesy YA novel. (I’m a hypocrite, okay?) 
  • Titles matter. Work hard on picking a title. I s2g it actually makes a big difference. Idk why. Titles. 

***Side note: All writing rules are all allowed to be broken. There is truly no such thing as a steadfast writing rule. The more comfortable you get with writing, the more comfortable you could be with breaking these rules. Does that make sense?

"american beauty" sentence starters
  • "I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world."
  • "Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself."
  • "Lose my job? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT."
  • "I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast."
  • "You're right. I suck dick for money."
  • "Well, what do you say I throw in a little sexual harassment charge, to boot?"
  • "Management wants you gone by the end of the day."
  • "Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of."
  • "It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back."
  • "When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track."
  • "All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me."
  • "I rule!"
  • "She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself."
  • "It's never too late to get it back."
  • "I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated."
  • "You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?"
  • "Both my wife/husband and daughter/son think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right."
  • "I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility."
  • "You should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three States."
  • "Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?"
  • "Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?"
  • "I don't think we can be friends anymore."
  • "Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?"
  • "You're way too uptight about sex."
  • "I want to look good naked!"
  • "Someone really should just put him out of his misery."
  • "I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here."
  • "You don't really think [name] and I were..."
  • "Want me to kill him for you?"
  • "I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school."
  • "I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone."
  • "Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die."
  • "She hates me. She hates you, too."
  • "There's plenty of joy in my life."
  • "Go fuck yourself, psycho!"
  • "My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me."
  • "Gross. I hate it when my mom does that."
  • "Fuck me, Your Majesty!"
  • "I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty."
  • "You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have."
  • "I'm so sorry for the way things look around here."
  • "I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter."
  • "Who are you looking for?"
  • "This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living."
  • "There's nothing worse than being ordinary."
  • "Everything that's meant to happen does."
  • "You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing freak."
  • "Welcome to America's weirdest home videos."
  • "Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way."
  • "I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and [name]."
  • "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."
  • "Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!"
  • "Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute."
  • "If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot."
  • "You don't get to tell me what to do ever again."
  • "I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out."
  • "Never underestimate the power of denial."
  • "Are you trying to look unattractive today?"
  • "How dare you speak to me that way in front of her."
  • "Jesus, what is it with you?"
  • "I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist."
  • "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in."
  • "See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident."
  • "Don't interrupt me, honey!"
  • "[Name]'s a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die."
  • "You better watch yourself, [name], or you're going to turn into a real bitch, just like your mother!"
  • "I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you lose your job."
  • "You're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it."
  • "You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
  • "Uh, whose car is that out front?"
  • "Your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink."
  • "In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times."
  • "She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love."
  • "I think you just became my personal hero!"
  • "Man, you are one twisted fuck."
  • "The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing."
  • "You know, this really doesn't concern you."
  • "I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable?"
  • "I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it."
  • "Your wife is with another man and you don't care?"
  • "It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."
  • "In less than a year, I'll be dead."
  • "[Name], today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus."
  • "I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time."
  • "I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are."
  • "Well, at least I'm not ugly."
  • "This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here."
  • "[Name], are you masturbating?!"
  • "If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model."
  • "In a way, I'm dead already."
  • "You are so busted."
  • "I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up."
  • "Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably."
  • "The car I've always wanted and now I have it."
  • "God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that..."
  • "Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about."
  • "I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose."
  • "Our marriage is just for show. A commercial for how normal we are when we're anything but."
  • "It would be nice if I was anywhere near as important to him as she is."
  • "Gotta spend money to make money."
  • "I refuse to be a victim!"
  • "I was filming this dead bird."
  • "Do you party?"
  • "Oh, what? You're mother of the year? You treat her/him like an employee."
  • "Could he be any more pathetic?"
  • "I think it's sweet."
  • "You need structure... you need discipline."
  • "He's just so confident, it can't be real."
  • "So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?"
  • "He didn't even look at me once!"
  • "I don't think you'd fit in here."
  • "It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn."
  • "Excuse me for speaking so bluntly, sir."
  • "Oh, I'm in trouble."
  • "I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting."
  • "This country is going straight to hell!"
  • "[Name], when did you become so joyless?"
  • "I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious."
  • "What is this? The fucking Gay Pride parade?"
  • "Sorry about my dad."
  • "To you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones."
  • "This is my first time."

anonymous asked:

I don't know if you're still doing the shipping meme, but if you are I really feel like something with Ray and Gavin

falls asleep on the couch:

  • both of them, usually after a night of gaming (read: a night of gavin getting his ass kicked in every single game he insists he can beat ray at), even though someone (read: gavin) usually ends up on the floor by morning
  • “wasn’t enough room,” says ray, but ray is a filthy liar
  • gavin is consistently baffled at how much space ray manages to take up with his tiny body
  • it doesn’t make sense

makes friends with the neighbors:

  • gavin, and ray hates it, ray hates it
  • like, whatever, make small talk in the elevator as much as you want, but now people are knocking on the door all the time to ask to borrow an egg or offer a plate of cookies or ask about why there are always so many different vehicles rotating out in the garage, how are a couple guys in their twenties affording so many new motorcycles
  • and, look, the apartment is Personal Space
  • you know that awkward stage of adolescence where you’re home alone and someone knocks on the door and you freeze
  • and go into balls-to-the-wall full-on Stealth Mode trying to figure out who’s at the door without alerting them to the fact that you’re home because dear god social interaction please no?
  • ray has not left that stage yet
  • so you can imagine how all the “it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood” shit is going for him

Keep reading

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We Are The In Crowd- Both Sides of the Story

edngyma  asked:

hi, you're so good at recommending fics, so I was wondering if I could get your help??? I've been reading the stucky fic "Acts of Mercy" by The_Nerd_Alert on AO3 but I'm up-to-date (and I've re-read it) and I'm feeling kind of stressed atm, so I was wondering if you knew of any fics like that one that you could recommend?

Hi! And thank you (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

I’m having a bit of a hard time trying to decide which fics could be similar to Acts of Mercy, because there are so many elements to that fic and nothing quite like it. So I’ve decided to rec you a bunch of great works with similar themes. Don’t hesitate to come back if you need anything more specific.

First of all, I suggest you read all of @steves-winter-boobear‘s fic, because Elliot is an awesome writer. I especially recommend you read:

THE PROPOSAL by The_Nerd_Alert  [E · 112,502]

AU. Steve Rogers works as an executive assistant for his demon of a boss James Barnes, at Pierce Publishing. Everyone HATES working with James Barnes, the epitome of Satan himself in every way possible. But when his Visa for immigration is denied, James quickly hatches a plan and drags Steve into a plot to thwart the United States Government into thinking they are engaged to avoid deportation. Thus follows the weekend from your wildest imagination as boss and employee learn about themselves and what it means to be truly happy.

If you liked the s/d themes and sub! Bucky and UST, then I have a couple of fics which should be right up your alley:

» CRASH by bactaqueen [E · 43,956]

AU. Professional Dom Steve Rogers is ready to retire and settle down. An almost-sub from the past reappears to challenge that.

(this is set in comics! verse)

» VENUS IN VIBRANIUM by sadrobots (@bettydays) [E · 58,984]

AU. “To be a Lead’s Support is a substantial responsibility,“ Natasha says. “You must be Agent Rogers’ personal assistant, bodyguard, chef, maid, best friend, boyfriend, and whatever else he wishes you to be.”

***

In exchange for a bionic arm and a hefty paycheck, Bucky Barnes takes on a gig working for the now-retired Captain America, AKA Bucky’s lifelong hero, Steve Rogers.

( there’s some Bucky/Natasha and Steve/Bucky/Natasha in this fic)

If you liked the part where Bucky is a dancer and also the angst, read this:

» TAKE ME TO CHURCH by neversaydie (@saferforeveryone) [E · 124,836]

AU. Steve Rogers is a struggling artist. It’s not as romantic as it sounds.

What Steve really wants is a job as a session musician. He can play enough instruments that he could make a decent amount of money doing it, but in New York there are just too many talented musicians and not enough jobs to go around. So he takes jobs in hipster bars, hotel lobbies, at weddings and bar mitzvahs and office parties.

If he gets one more request for Let it Go, he swears he’ll find it within himself to punch a child.

He lives in a tiny, shitty apartment with Sam, who was his sort-of-boyfriend for a few weeks until he decided Steve’s very domestic relationship goals weren’t for him. They’re still pretty much best friends, luckily for Steve, because when the regular pianist at Sam’s dance company runs away to Canada he’s recommended his roommate and got him the job before Steve even knows about it.

Dancers. Steve’s going to have to spend his days with dancers. Great.

If you liked the angst and also love yourself some sweet, a bit unexperienced Bucky, this is for you:

» GIMME SHELTER by spoffyumi (@spoffyumi) [E · 93,325]

AU. Bucky loves his job at the animal shelter, but he’s not so good with people. His boss Nick wants him fired, he’s barely scraping by on his salary, and don’t even ask about his family. Steve wants to adopt a dog for company. Will either of them find what they’re looking for?

Stucky, angst and puppies.

If you need some absolutely-adorable-around-children Bucky then you may like these:

» ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A DOWNWARD SPIRAL by torakowalski [E · 31,811]

CANON. Bucky Barnes is barely functioning, let alone living, but when the Avengers find an abandoned baby girl, Bucky has to learn to look after himself, and keep the baby out of Hydra’s hands. All while trying to work out exactly what kind of relationship he and Steve want from each other.

» BUCKY BARNES HAS HIS SHIT TOGETHER (AND OTHER LIES HE TELLS HIMSELF) by betty days (sadrobots)  [M · 14,156]

AU. You’d think a guy who owns one of the most successful bakeries in Brooklyn, has a million-dollar smile and that antiquated good ol’ boy charm, blond hair and blue eyes and biceps for days, would know what’s what.

But don’t let that fool you: Steve Rogers is a mess.


I don’t know of any other fic featuring priest! Bucky, and never really read another sex worker! Steve fic, so if that’s what you were looking for we could try asking everyone out there for recs?