you're not ever going to know me

Writing advice you're not going to like.

People sometimes send me Asks wanting writing advice.  I suck at it.  I don’t really know how I do the writing, or how one should do the writing, or what one should do to get better at the writing.  All I can ever think to say is “write a lot of stuff and you will get better at the writing.”  Which is true, but hardly a bolt from the sky.

Well, as it turns out, I do have one piece of Legit Writing Advice, and I am going to share it with you, right now.  If you were in any of my writing workshop groups at a con, you’ve heard this advice already.

Warning: you’re going to fucking hate it.  But if you do it, you will thank me.

If you have a piece of fiction you’re serious about, something you might want to actually shop around, or just something you really are into and want to make it as good as you can…do NOT edit it.

Repeat.  DO NOT EDIT.

REWRITE.

As in, print out the whole fucking thing and re-enter it, every word (or use two screens).  Retype the whole thing.  Recreate it from the ground up using your first draft as a template.  Start with a blank page and re-enter every. single. word.

I hear you screaming.  OH MY GOD THAT’S INSANE.

Yes.  Yes, it is.

It is also the most powerful thing you will ever do for a piece of fiction that you are serious about.

Now, let’s get real.  I don’t do this for most things.  I don’t do it for my fanfiction.  But if it’s something original, something I might like to get to a professional level - I do it.  You absolutely COULD do it for fanfiction.  It’s just up to you and how much time you want to sink into a piece.

You can edit, sure.  But you WILL NOT get down to the level of change that needs to happen in a second draft.  You will let things slide.  Your eyes will miss things.  You will say “eh, good enough.”

The first time I did this, on someone else’s advice, I was dubious.  Within two pages, I was saying WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN DOING THIS ALL THE TIME.  I was amazed at how much change was happening.  By the time I got to the end, I had an entirely different novel than the one I’d started with.  When you’re already re-entering every single word, it’s easy to make deep changes.  You’ll reformat sentences, you’ll switch phrases around, you’ll massage your word choice.  You’ll discover whole paragraphs that don’t need to be there at all because they became redundant.  You’ll find dialogue exchanges that need reimagining.  Whole plot points will suddenly be different, whole story arcs will reveal their flaws and get re-drawn.

You cannot get down to the fundamental level of change that’s required just by editing an existing document.  You have to rebuild it if you really want your story to evolve.  You will be AMAZED at the difference it will make.

It will take time.  It will seem like a huge, Herculean task.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  It isn’t.  But it is absolutely revolutionary.

Try it.  I promise, you will see what I mean.

*PSA: Tipsy!Lori wrote this post.  In case you couldn’t tell.

  • Naruto: So...
  • Naruto: You're leaving the village
  • Naruto: Again
  • Sasuke: Yes dobe, and don't try to stop me
  • Naruto: *shrugs* fine
  • Sasuke: Seriously, I might be gone for years. I don't know how far this road goes... Where this journey might take me... Maybe I won't come back.
  • Naruto: *examining his fingernails* sounds fun
  • Sasuke: Because I might actually die. I have no shortage of enemies, after all.
  • Naruto: Meh, it's your life
  • Sasuke: Exactly.
  • Sasuke: And nothing you say will ever convince me to stay.
  • Sasuke: So don't bother trying.
  • Naruto: You've made the clear.
  • Sasuke: ...
  • Sasuke: You're really not going to stop me?
  • Naruto: Of course not, bastard.
  • Naruto: So... Are we good to go? It's going to get pretty hot later in the day. Better to start early.
  • Sasuke: Yes, I'm good to-
  • Sasuke: Wait
  • Sasuke: What do you mean by 'we'?
  • Naruto: You can leave the villiage, Sasuke
  • Naruto: You can go wherever you want and maybe you really won't come back this time
  • Naruto: After all these years, I've learned my lesson
  • Naruto: I can't stop you from doing what you want to do
  • Sasuke: You didn't answer-
  • Naruto: Let me finish
  • Naruto: You can't stop me from doing what I want to do either. Let's go, teme.
  • Sasuke: But you said-
  • Naruto: That I wouldn't stop you. And I won't. I always keep my word.
  • Naruto: But this time, I'm coming too.
every episode of house ever
  • *episode opens with patient going about their every day life*
  • patient: owww my everything
  • *patient goes to hospital*
  • house: okay guys got any ideas
  • literally everyone: ehh probably meningitis
  • house: well you're wrong give him a lumbar puncture
  • foreman: house despite you being the head of our team we obviously know more than you
  • house: *joke about foreman being black*
  • foreman:
  • house:
  • foreman:
  • house:
  • chase: hey cameron you wanna bang later
  • cameron: fuk u
  • chase: eyyy she wants me ;0
  • patient: oww my everything
  • cameron: the patient is getting worse house what do we do
  • house: pfff fuck if i know
  • cameron: damn house you suck you're a terrible doctor he obviously has meningitis
  • house: give him some drugz idk
  • cameron: wow guys did you hear house telling us to give the patient drugs? damn he's a great doctor wouldn't you just like to bang him?
  • chase: >:(
  • cuddy: house go work in the clinic
  • house: no
  • cuddy: do it or else
  • house: ugh fine
  • *insert some comic-relief scene of house in the clinic with a dumb patient*
  • *meanwhile the first patient gets worse*
  • patient: owww now my eyes are green
  • chase: house his eyes are green and he is literally on the brink of death what do we do
  • *INSERT 30 SECOND LONG MONTAGE OF HOUSE GOING OVER THE FACTS*
  • house: gREEN EYES?! THIS IS A SIGN OF TITTY DEFLATION!
  • *insert a 3D animation of how the disease works with voice over of how it works*
  • house: only a shot of the super-duper-illegal anti-titty deflation vaccine that has not yet been made legal can save him now
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: YES
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: YES
  • cuddy: NO
  • house: fuk u bitch i do what i want lmao cuddy? more like slutty ayyyy
  • *house gives patient cure*
  • patient: wow, doctor! by some miracle you've cured me! And even the chronic pain in my back was fixed!
  • house: yet another symptom of your titty deflation
  • wilson: how did he have titty deflation? he doesn't have titties
  • house: shut up, wilson, you were probably irrelevant this episode
  • *"You Can't Always Get What You Want" plays*
The Outsiders as real quotes from people I go to school with...
  • Ponyboy: "when I stepped out, into the cold wind, from the odd warmth of the school... I had only two things in my mind. A jacket and a ride home."
  • Johnny: "please... don't... talk to me... ever..."
  • Dallas: "I'm not a tease, I'm a natural, sexual, flirt."
  • Two-bit: "after four years of this hell hole I finally know enough al-gee-braah to hit the poles."
  • Steve: "if you think I won't eat all five of these candy bars before lunch you're wrong."
  • Sodapop: "Fuck this," *slams school computer shut* "I'm pretty."
  • Darry: "I've been teaching for more than ten years and I'm pretty sure this is the weirdest request I've gotten."
  • Tim: "it's supposed to smell like smoke, not Cotten candy."
  • Angela: "if anyone ask, those aren't my nudes."
  • Curly: "no one gives a shit, the janitor caught me smoking weed in the bathroom, she just sprayed some Febreeze and walked out."
  • Cherry: "Yes, I'm a real ginger. Yes, I do steal souls." *points at freckle* "this one is yours."
  • Marcia: "I'm not a lesbian I just really like your boobs."
  • Bob: "That's my pube, give it back!"
  • Randy: "he might smell bad but he's pretty cool."
  • Sakura: I know someone who has a crush on you ;)
  • Naruto: Is it-
  • Sakura: Not me, baka.
  • Naruto: Oh... Who, then?
  • Sakura: Well I promised I wouldn't tell but... If you guess who it is, it's won't be a problem, right?
  • Naruto: Uh right! Right! Give me a hint!
  • Sakura: This person has pale skin, and black hair, and they're from a very old, powerful clan
  • Naruto: Um...
  • Sakura: Also, when we were in the academy, they were always watching you, though you never seemed to notice
  • Naruto: Eto...
  • Sakura: They have a rare bloodline limit
  • Naruto: *scratches his head and squints*
  • Sakura: It gives them very special eyes
  • Naruto: So, you're telling me this person... *counts on his fingers, muttering* and they... Aha! I get it.
  • Sakura: Finally
  • Naruto: Hehe, Sasuke, that bastard must be pretty embarrassed
  • Naruto: Oh well, I guess it makes sense
  • Naruto: Though it's weird that we're both guys...
  • Naruto: Don't tell him I said this, but I always thought he was really pretty, not like a girl, just, um, in a different way
  • Naruto: And he's really cool, but, but sweet too, like awkward in a cute way when he tries to be nice. Plus we understand each-other.
  • Naruto: Even though we fight a lot- hell, even fighting with him is really fun.
  • Naruto: And those times we kissed... They were an accident, but damn, that bastard had soft lips. I wonder if- uh *blushes* never mind.
  • Naruto: All things considered, it could be a lot worse
  • Naruto: I wonder if I should ask him out on- Sakura-chan?
  • Sakura: It's- It's-
  • Naruto: Sakura-chan, your eye is twitch-
  • Sakura: HINATA
  • Naruto: What?
  • Sakura: HINATA, SHE'S THE ONE WHO- HINATA, SHE'S A GIRL, SHE'S ALWAYS- THE CHUNIN EXAMS, NEJI'S COUSIN, YOU CAN NOT BE THIS DENSE, BAKA NARUTO!
  • Naruto: ...
  • Sakura: ...
  • Naruto: I don't get it. What does Hinata have to do with Sasuke and me?
  • Sakura: You know what, never mind. Yeah, take him out to eat ramen. Figure out how you'll revive his clan together while you're at it. It's not going to be easy since you're both guys, but when was anything ever easy for you two? It never stopped you before.
  • Sakura: Kami-sama, I tried. I really did. I'll leave the rest up to you.
  • Naruto: Sakura-chan, you're not making any sense. Where are you going? Oi, Sakura-chan!

anonymous asked:

This is probably gonna be a quite rude sounding question, but how do you not get bored of doing the "same job" every day? (I swear this isn't meant to be as mean as it sounds!!) I'm 18 and going to Uni soon, but the prospect of doing the same sort of thing every day for a long time sounds horrible to me. I know you love your job and you're incredible at it, but do you ever get bored of it, and how do you combat that?

Well.. I’m sorry to say, but that’s pretty much what a job is, welcome to being an adult, we do the same thing every day and have very little free time :P

But that’s also why it’s really important to actually like and enjoy doing what you choose to do. Not everyone will have that opportunity, especially not straight out of school. Sooner or later you have to do things you don’t want to do, that’s life. I’ve had several jobs I didn’t want or like, in fact most of my jobs I didn’t want or like. But you have to pay the bills somehow. By then it becomes a trade-off of “what can I put up with while I wait for the weekend to start”. Which is basically how I lived my life up until I started working with Jack last year.

It sounds cynical and depressing, but I’m not gonna sugar-coat it. You’ll have to find ways of making it work, music, making friends at the workplace, maybe working part time at different places for variety etc. If you DO have something you want to do, keep doing that in your spare time. If you’re lucky, you’ll end up making a job of it. Not every day is going to be fun, regardless of what you do, sometimes you just have off-days. Which is where pride is a good thing. I always want to take pride in what I do, even when I did work I didn’t like I still made sure to do a good job because I never wanted someone to point to me and say I didn’t care.

So basically, primary goal, find something you can put up with, to support yourself. Secondary goal, do the thing you actually want to do in your spare time. Don’t count on it to work. If it does, great, if it doesn’t, well as long as you can pay the bills you’ll get to keep doing it in your spare time. Compromise. And never spend all the money you make. Always, always, save. You will need it, at some point.

  • Blake: Mom, Dad, you remember my girlfriend.
  • Ghira: Ahh, of course.
  • Yang: Heya Big Daddy Belladonna!
  • Ghira: Always a pleasure Yang, it's been Xiao-Long.
  • Kali: Oh god no...
  • Yang: Well I guess you're right! It has been a while. So sorry to Blake you worry!
  • Blake: Don't involve me in this!
  • Ghira: No truly, it's been purr-ever.
  • Yang: You're right, last time we were here Blake did some very adventurous things.
  • Blake: Y-YANG! DON'T TELL THAT TO MY PARENTS!
  • Yang: Whoops, guess the cats out of the bag now, eh?
  • Ghira: I know, I mean we waited ages! Guess it's more like the cats out the closet, huh?
  • Both: (Snap point at each other) Ayyyyy!
  • Kali: I'll go get the gun.
Things The Signs Have Said That Break My Heart
  • Aries: Was I ever anything more than a sad kid? I thought the drugs would help, but they just make you sadder and a little deader. I really tried my best, but I don't think there's much use anymore. Nobody cared then, and nobody cares now.
  • Taurus: I'm sorry, but I fell in love with you. I watch you move and I'm captivated. The world slows down just a little bit when I look at you. I wanna kiss your long neck, and run my fingers through your curly hair. I wanna listen to you talk for hours about old movies and bad music. I wanna hear every word that you have to say. But I can't, because you're in love with someone else
  • Gemini: I dreamed so much as a little kid. All those dreams are dead know. The world has a lot of fun killing little girls dreams.
  • Cancer: Please don't go! Stay! Stay! I need you to stay! No one ever stays.
  • Leo: I used to be special. Everyone thought I was going to be this amazing person. They thought I would do great things, but look at me. I'm nothing. If I was anything, it would be a failure.
  • Virgo: She just left. She didn't say anything. In one simple second, all the love and laughter that we had, was ripped from both of us. She just decided she did't feel like loving me anymore.
  • Libra: It's all gone. Any hope that I had is gone.
  • Scorpio: Do you think that if I get prettier, he might look at me like he used to? Maybe he'll love me again.
  • Sagittarius: The whole world is at my fingertips, they say, but I can't seem to ever grab it.
  • Capricorn: I could tell she didn't love me anymore. She would smile, but in her eyes I could see the pity and slight disgust she had for me. I tried to stop loving her, but I couldn't. I felt pathetic, like I was stood up. But this time I couldn't just go home and forget about it the next day. She was, and still is, my everything.
  • Aquarius: I don't want to feel this anymore. I don't want to be trapped in my mind. I want to live again. I just want to see the light one more time.
  • Pisces: Could you just tell me you love me? You don't have to mean it. I just want, for a second, to feel loved.
the signs as sad quotes from various sources
  • aries: "Hey God, if you're there, my life has really sucked. So please, for once, let me have a sweet dream."
  • - Puella Magi Madoka Magica
  • taurus: "Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. You made me so happy. I don’t want you to be lost or afraid or anything like that. From here on out, I know things might be hard sometimes. But no matter what may await, please don’t regret meeting me."
  • - Clannad
  • gemini: "Please boss, don't put that thing over my face, don't put me in the dark. I's afraid of the dark."
  • - The Green Mile
  • cancer: "Don’t go. Don’t go. Please don’t go. Please don’t leave me behind."
  • - Your Lie in April
  • leo: "I ruined everything. The only thing I can do is make sure no one gets close to me"
  • -Kotoura-san
  • virgo: "It's called a miracle because it doesn't happen."
  • - Kanon
  • libra: "Artax you're sinking! Come on, turn around! You have to now! Come on, Artax! Fight against the sadness, Artax! Artax, please!"
  • - The Neverending Story
  • scorpio: "Upset? I'm not upset. You have no idea how much pain I'm in. It's like being cut open every day, bleeding onto the stones. I can't understand how any of you failed to see the blood...."
  • - Warrior Cats
  • sagittarius: "Take her to the moon for me. Okay?"
  • - Inside Out
  • capricorn: "They were weak. That’s why they died. We were weak, too. That’s why we couldn’t save them."
  • - Terror in Resonance
  • aquarius: "Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold."
  • - The Outsiders
  • pisces: "This is the end of my dream. My wings forgot how to fly, since I only kept pretending to flap them. Is there a meaning to wings that can’t fly?"
  • - Air
During a stakeout
  • Red Robin: * shivering and sneezes*
  • Superboy: Sorry I don't have a jacket, but I can warm you by hug. Come here!
  • Red Robin: Thanks, Kon. You're the best boyfriend ever.
  • Red Hood: !
  • Nightwing: It's freezing indeed.
  • Red Hood: Do you want my jacket? Or you want me to hug you? I can do BOTH, you know.
  • Nightwing: No! I mean let's take down that god damn Mr. Freeze and go home!
Profound Sentence Meme
  • "People care about you, too, you know."
  • "What, and it's alright for you to save us, but never the other way around? Why not?"
  • "Don't you know how much you're loved?"
  • "You're trying to get yourself killed! Ever since it happened, you've been trying!"
  • "It's like you have a death wish."
  • "You're addicted to the adrenaline and sooner or later it will get someone killed. You, probably."
  • "What happened to you? Why are you like this?"
  • "This ISN'T okay."
  • "You can't keep treating yourself like this."
  • "I hear you crying sometimes, when you think nobody is listening."
  • "Do you know how sad you look sometimes?"
  • "What are you hiding from me? Just TELL me!"
  • "Something is eating you up from the inside. Something happened, or you've done something, or someone left. You need to share. Otherwise you're never going to feel okay again."
  • "Why are you like this?"
  • "Since when was doing THIS okay?"
  • "It's okay to talk to people."
  • "I'm not fragile, I'm not going to break if you talk to me about it. I'll listen and I'll care. That's it. I promise."
  • "You can't run away from this."
  • "I'm not going to leave you the moment you do something I disagree with."
  • "You're not secretly an irredeemably awful person!"
  • "What's going on with you?"
Royalty Starters
  • "Watch where you're going, peasant!"
  • "Royal? Sure, you're a royal pain in the ass!"
  • "Don't you know who you're talking to?"
  • "Wow, it's uncanny. You really look exactly like the prince/princess."
  • "You're my new servant?"
  • "You know, I could use a new servant."
  • "How dare you touch me!"
  • "I don't think the people like me."
  • "I believe there have been attempts on my life. I'm hiring you to protect me."
  • "What do you mean you're not my real guardsman?"
  • "Peasant life must be so dull!"
  • "I'm sorry, miss priss. I was just trying to save your skin!"
  • "You want me to wear that? It's ghastly!"
  • "Have you ever even left the castle?"
  • "It's lonely being a leader, you know. You're my only real friend."
  • "Father wants me to marry a snobbish nobleman/noblewoman. I won't go through with it!"
  • "That was my favorite ball gown!"
  • "What do you mean you don't own silk clothing?"
  • "How do you people live like this!?"
  • Achilles: Honey!
  • Patroclus: What?
  • Achilles: Where is my spear?
  • Patroclus: What!?
  • Achilles: WHERE IS MY SPEAR??
  • Patroclus: I put it away!
  • Achilles: Where!?
  • Patroclus: Why do you NEED to know!?
  • Achilles: I need it!
  • Patroclus: Nuh uh! Don't you even think about running off doing no daring do! We've been planning this dinner for two months!
  • Achilles: The world is in danger!
  • Patroclus: My evening is in danger!!
  • *explosions in the background as Trojans breach the wall*
  • Achilles: Tell me where my spear is, man! We're talking about the greater good!
  • Patroclus: GREATER GOOD?? I'm your boyfriend!! I'm the greatest GOOD you're ever going to get!

anonymous asked:

You're my favorite artist on this site. I absolutely LOVE your art style and swan? best webcomic ever. I'm super excited to see whats going to happen next. But honestly i never know how to tag stuff on your art so i just put "hashtag love it hashtag fav artist" but irl im like THIS IS THE BEST OMG SHE BLESSES MY SOUL SO MUCH WITH HER ART I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY HEART, LOOK AT IT, IS IT AMAZING??? YES OF COURSE IT IS CUS SELENA DID IT

hghdfjkgjdhkdjf anon!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im blushin youre too sweet <3

Random Starters [ send me one maybe? ]
  • "Do you believe in the tooth fairy?"
  • "I think I'm pregnant. And it's not yours."
  • "I feel like I'm going to puke."
  • "Are you seriously wearing that to the party tonight?"
  • "You need to change that attitude before we leave this house."
  • "I AM NOT CRAZY!"
  • "Stop staring at me like I grew a second head."
  • "Are you drunk or do you just act like that all the time?"
  • "I forgot where I parked my car."
  • "I'm not going to lie to you anymore. I do love you, but I..."
  • "It's only a slice of pie."
  • "I just want to be loved again. Is that so wrong?"
  • "The cat is looking at me funny."
  • "YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE!"
  • "I think you're the prettiest thing I've ever seen."
  • "Care to join me?"
  • "I would rather not eat dinner alone."
  • "Did you remember to lock the door?"
  • "How do you live with yourself everyday, doing what you do?"
  • "I don't feel pretty enough for him."
  • "You can do anything you set your mind to."
  • "People say ignorance is bliss, but... I just want to know the truth."
  • "People are stupid today."
  • "I'm in the hospital. Can you come?"
  • "You're act liking I'm in love with you or something."
  • "Go ahead and leave. I'm not going to stop you."
  • "I'm tired of fighting."
  • "I think you need help."
  • "Do whatever you believe in, and I'll support you."
  • "What is it like being you?"
  • ♈ Aries: Feeling used
  • But I'm Still missing you
  • ♉Taurus: And I can't
  • See the end of this
  • Just wanna feel your kiss
  • Against my lips
  • ♊Gemini: And now all this time
  • Is passing by
  • But I still can't seem to tell you why
  • It hurts me every time
  • I see you
  • Realize how much I need you
  • ♋Cancer: I hate you, I love you,
  • Don't want to but
  • I can't put nobody else above you
  • ♌ Leo: You want her, you need her
  • And I'll never be her
  • ♍ Virgo: I miss you when I can't sleep
  • Or right after coffee
  • Or right when I can't eat
  • ♎Libra: I miss you in my front seat
  • Still got sand in my sweaters
  • From nights we don't remember
  • ♏Scorpio: Do you miss me like I miss you?
  • Fucked around and got attached to you
  • Friends can break your heart too,
  • And I'm always tired but never of you
  • ♐Saggitarius: If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
  • I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
  • I type a text but then I never mind that shit
  • I got these feelings but you never mind that shit
  • ♑Capricorn: Oh oh, keep it on the low
  • You're still in love with me but your friends don't know
  • If you wanted me you would just say so
  • And if I were you, I would never let me go
  • ♒Aquarius: I don't mean no harm
  • I just miss you on my arm
  • Wedding bells were just alarms
  • Caution tape around my heart
  • ♓Pisces: You ever wonder what we could have been?
  • You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
  • Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix
  • Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed
I tell myself that I want to write about you, but I still don’t really know how to. You’re the person who makes me wonder every day whether or not this is what love feels like. You managed to care for all of these pieces of me, pieces of me that I told myself were worthless and unnatural and out of place, and you’ve done what all of the other loves haven’t been able to do yet. I’m not struggling to survive without you, but I know that I don’t want to live in a world where you aren’t there. I’m not leaning on you to be everything that keeps me standing, and yet I want to hold your hand for the rest of this journey. You don’t make me feel like I need someone to tell me I’m enough, but you encourage me to be the strongest version of myself every single day. I’m just someone else entirely because of you. And now I know that this thing, this maybe-love..This was never supposed to make me jittery and out of control. This was supposed to calm me down. And you did just that the day your smile brought my tornado of a world to a gentle spin.
—  @itsfangirlalex; Please don’t ever let me go.