you're like a 5 year old

  • what she says: I'm fine
  • what she means: Do you know why I hate Undertale? Because it's the best game ever made. The graphics look like they were drawn by a four year old with the talents of Pablo Picasso in his prime - which is what I would have said if I liked the graphics, which I do… not. Narratively, this game is a paragon of interactive storytelling; every decision you make weigh on your conscience, because every connection you make with the characters feels organic. That’s why I am giving this game a 5/5... billion. It fucking suc
When non-fish friends ask me if a betta would right for them...
  • What I say: Oh, betta are very easy to keep!
  • What I mean: As fish go, betta are very easy to keep.
  • What I'm terrified people actually hear: Betta are basically pet rocks.
  • What I say: They don't need a ton of space,...
  • What I mean: 5 gallons isn't a huge tank,...
  • What I'm terrified people actually hear: A 1 gallon bowl is basically spoiling them,...
  • What I say: ...they're forgiving of water conditions,...
  • What I mean: ...they don't need RO water like discus, and if your ammonia ticks to one part per googleplex, they won't keel over,...
  • What I'm terrified people actually hear: *something something, water buffalo hoofprints*
  • What I say: ...and they don't have a fancy diet.
  • What I mean: ...and they don't require live food like pea puffers. In fact, a jar of high-quality pellets is all you need.
  • What I'm terrified people actually hear: ...and that 5 year old jar of goldfish flakes in your closet will be fine.
  • What I say: If you're interested, I'd love to help you shop around.
  • What I mean: Please bring me. My multiple tank syndrome is flaring up and I'm afraid this is the only cure.
  • What I'm terrified people actually hear: I'm only offering to be nice, please don't trouble me.
Signs as Dads
  • Aries: *tries to play catch* *throws baseball way too hard* WELL DON'T STAND WHERE I'M THROWING
  • Taurus: "Hi hungry, I'm dad"
  • Gemini: "So what's the 411? What's the get down with the get down? What's on the DL?"
  • Cancer: *driving kids to soccer game in mini van* "Does everyone have their juice boxes and snack packs? Check. Alright, now does everyone have their game faces on? chECK !"
  • Leo: *pulls out a 2nd graders yearbook* okay son, now you point out and tell me about the kid that was calling you names cuz someone is gonna learn a lesson ta-DAY"
  • Virgo: "Son, what did i say about going into my study?!" *looks at room dedicated to star wars action figures and collectables* "These are NOT toys, they are NOT to be played with. Do i make myself clear?"
  • Libra: *at the country club* oh shit, i was suppose to pick up the kids
  • Scorpio: "Damn it Nelson, I told you to stop pulling your sisters hair. If you make me pull this car over you will be sorry you were even born yoU LITTLE FUCKING SHIT *pulls car over*
  • Sagittarius: *drinking bourbon and wearing sun-visor with fake hair on top" "it's lit yall"
  • Capricorn: *talking to 5 year old child* "I don't play. I was kicked out of kindergarten because i don't fucking play. So let me know when you're ready to start acting like an adult."
  • Aquarius: *at PTA meeting* okay so listen to this guys. What if we put all our kids together, gear em up in superhero uniforms, and start the revolution"
  • Pisces: "What time is it"


honestly being able to make you all happy by doing what i love doing is suuuuch an honor for me!!! i’m relieved that my art can reach out to you all!!!!!!!! i’m going through very difficult things irl but reading your messages really made me smile and i sincerely thank you all from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to tell me all of these!!!! i hope you guys continue to brighten people’s day like this!!!

i’m so happy that you all enjoy my art, my 5-year-old sense of humor and that you guys love my akihikos!! i’ll keep delivering him for as long as i love him, which is a VERY long time ♡ ~(‘▽^人) nyahaha

hobbitdragqueen  asked:

What is wrong with some parents?? We had a really busy day last week so there was a wait on food (5-10 minutes) and when I was running food to customers I would apologise for the wait & usually they'd be understanding. When I got to this table with 4 grown ups and one 10 year old boy before I could apologise the kid goes "ugh finally!" And the adults are laughing like "oh Jamie* what are you like?!" You're a cunt Jamie, that's what you're like.😒 (*changed name obvs)

petrichorstan  asked:

the 7 year old i babysit for has decided she loves harley quinn and wants to go as her for halloween. she's not a big fan of reading right now, but her parents/my family and i are all trying to find something she'll enjoy that'll help her read more. do you have any recommendations for good harley runs that a 7 year old could read? or maybe just another comic in general she might like? (i only ask because you're the person i follow w the most harley knowledge). thanks!!

*excited wiggle*
I am so excited cause I have the most perfect thing to recommend you!

There’s a franchise called “DC Super Hero Girls” that’s just DC characters (mainly the girl ones) as high school students and it’s all marketed to girls in the 5-12 age range. 

Harley is one of the main characters and there’s so much Harley stuff available for her INCLUDING this costume above which is available at Party City. So that’d be a great costume for her! 

There are also dolls and toys of her (just Google “dc super hero girls Harley Quinn and you’ll see) but what you came looking for was books! 

There are DC Super Hero Girls graphic novels and comic books aimed at her age! Google “dc super hero girls books” to get some ideas because there are many many wonderful options for her to read!

I hope she continues to show an interest in Harley and I wish her luck with the reading! 

anonymous asked:

I was scrolling through your old art on deviant, you know, just to get some hope that i can be gr8 like you someday ('cuz, yeah, your art is amazing, and you're my favorite artist!), but anyway, I noticed the dates and, oh my geez, you improved so much in 5 years, and now i wanna know, how? Did you have any training method? Or was it just, like, natural?

I had training, had to cry everyday and compare myself to other artists, self loathe, split art blocks in half and dedicate myself

jk srsly tutorials and refs helped me a lot +inspirations and motivation/support from others

heartich0ke  asked:

Hi! :) Can I ask what you're working on these days? Do you ever write original stuff?

Hey there, friend! I do write original stuff, sadly it’s all non-fiction at this point. On the fiction front, I’m casually (read: v. slowly) plodding away at a mwtw!Lexa origin story — I feel like there’s only a very select group of readers who’d be interested in it (seeing as Clexa is more than a decade away) but it got caught in my brain. Probably because I’m a glutton for angst :-)

If you are interested, here’s a rough excerpt : the storyline starts right after 5-year-old mwtw!Lexa’s mother dies and she starts boarding, but this scene is a few months later. It’s from 10yo Anya’s POV, because as always, I need someone else to describe the awe and wonder that is Lexa haha. 

More Women than Warriors Prequel—sneak peak below.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

My parents consider me as a child (I'm 16) and they never talk about sex, love or stuff like these. How can I come out as ace without hearing "you're too young you'll change later"?

Ask them how a 5 year old child can know they’re a straight cisgender boy but you, at the age where you’re able to do things like think critically, examine yourself, and make your own opinions on important things, can’t know you’re ace. They’re not you, and they can’t tell you how you experience the world. 

Good luck coming out, I believe in you! 


anonymous asked:

Okay so this novelization is basically like a 312 page fanfic of a die hard iron man fan that watched the film scene by scene and then wrote about it with his or her own headcanons. Such as the soldiers being young, Tonys mind is always racing and calculating everything and is interested for like 5 seconds and then bored again, Tony met a president when he was only 1 year old (and was held by him), Rhodey noticing a gut clenching feeling he usually gets when Tony does something stupid. Etc.

This sounds like a fanfic I would wanna read I HOPE UR HAVING A GOOD TIME WITHOUT ME

anonymous asked:

Do you like Tom Holland? Idk why but he literally disrespects every Spider-Man before him. I saw the "Fans Guide To Spider-Man Homecoming" and he implied he's the best Spider-Man ever in film because he gets to interact with other superheroes in the MCU and I was so close to throwing my drink at my TV. Like stfu you little high pitched biscuit. Your only four years older than me and yet in still your balls haven't dropped.

Yeah I do lmao. He’s a kid having fun playing a role he’s loved since he was like 5 years old. And like there are more important things for me to expend energy being annoyed about than him promoting his film by throwing a light dusting of shade at the ones before him and claiming he’s gonna be the best 🤷🏽‍♀️

fibro!tsuna's first-world problems
  • tsuna: should i be in bed?
  • reborn: no
  • tsuna: am i?
  • reborn: it's noon and you haven't even left it
  • tsuna: can't hear you from my warm comfy bed
  • ...
  • tsuna: should i be in bed?
  • reborn: YES
  • tsuna: am i??
  • reborn: don't you love sleeping??
  • tsuna: i do when it doesn't feel like i'm laying on a bed of needles
  • reborn: i don't understand your body
  • tsuna: you think i do??
  • ...
  • tsuna: man, melanin is so good for helping me sleep sometimes
  • reborn: mela-what now exCUSE me young man
  • tsuna: ..melatonin. MELATONIN.
  • reborn:
  • tsuna: reborn i aM NOT DRINKING PIGMENTS
  • reborn: the fact that you even know the meaning of that word distresses me
  • tsuna: you are SO RUDE
  • ...
  • reborn: *inspecting his cup to make sure there's no PIGMENTS in it*
  • tsuna: dad, pls, i brainfogged. honest to god.
  • reborn: you were fine two seconds before
  • tsuna: sudden onset! oh no
  • tsuna: what were we talking about? orange juice?
  • tsuna: where did lambo go? someone should find him before he drinks all the bread
  • ...
  • reborn, five minutes later: did you call me DAD?
  • tsuna, still trying to pretend to be brainfogged: .....smad. a word that means both mad and sad.
  • reborn: i
  • reborn: i asked you that question three days ago and you're just NOW answering it?
  • tsuna: my brain is on dial-up, it doesn't work if YOU'RE using it too
  • reborn: how does that even
  • reborn: stop avoiding the question
  • tsuna: *already asleep*
  • reborn: $*%@^#$*
  • ...
  • reborn: why are you still sleeping
  • tsuna: i reside eternally on the dark side of the globe.
  • reborn: ...what
  • tsuna: it's always bedtime somewhere in the world, therefore i will sleep whenever i want.
  • reborn: why are you like this
  • tsuna: *sleepy growling noises*
  • reborn: you sound like a teddy bear
  • tsuna: you ARE a teddy bear
  • tsuna:
  • tsuna: *pops head out from under blankets to peer at reborn hopefully*
  • reborn: ...don't you even think about it
  • ...
  • reborn: maman, i have an idea for a gift to get tsunayoshi
  • nana: no? how sweet of you, reborn! what is it? do you need help getting it?
  • reborn: it's a teddy bear outfit.
  • nana:
  • reborn: he growls like a teddy bear
  • nana: you're very correct in that assessment. i'll have to get one for him right away.
  • ...
  • reborn: ....maman
  • reborn: why did you get two of them
  • reborn: in two different sizes
  • nana: why, so the two of you can match, of course!
  • tsuna: *wanders around the house wearing a teddy bear onesie*
  • reborn, also wearing a smol teddy bear onesie: i didn't account for this.
  • ...
  • tsuna: is it possible to have multiple headaches at the same time?
  • reborn: ...i'm going to have to say no.
  • reborn: you're better off applying unit measurements to the cause of your headaches.
  • reborn: like lambo.
  • tsuna: reborn, you can't call lambo a headache.
  • lambo: *crashing around downstairs, laughing like a 5 year old on candy.*
  • tsuna: lambo is three headaches.
  • tsuna: and he needs to Stop.
  • ...
  • tsuna, on a stroll through downtown with kyouko and lambo: where did lambo go? why does he keep running off? he knows i can't chase after him.... he's such a child.
  • kyouko: um, lambo is 5?? he is a child.
  • tsuna: ...right....... i never ran off this much when i was 5 though.
  • kyouko: you do seem like you would've been a very good and well-behaved child, tsuna.
  • tsuna: thanks, kyouko...... i think.
  • kyouko: why don't you get lambo one of those child harnesses? that way you don't have to run after him.
  • tsuna: i'd have to wear the other end of that harness though. or hold it. i can't even walk a dog, i wouldn't be able to walk a child.
  • kyouko: how do you keep track of him then?
  • tsuna: like this
  • tsuna: *rattles a jar full of candy*
  • lambo: *APPEARS*
  • kyouko: you should probably stop giving him candy so much..
  • tsuna: yeah.. but it works so well.........
you cannot convince me this is not how it went: sam and max
  • [at a stakeout, sitting on a few old boxes on the side of the road]
  • Max: I wanna get a kid.
  • Sam: You can't just purchase a precocious progeny!
  • Max: Why not. I've got a checking account and I coupon like a daemon. I'm sure we could get a deal! Besides [motions to himself] think about what having a juvenile would do to this waist line!
  • Sam: Still! You can't just go down and buy a-
  • [a group of 5 year old orphans march down the street after a nun. the smallest of them, a little orphan red-head, sees the pair; stops, and stares]
  • little red head: [to one of her companions, snorting] those two are weird looking.
  • Nun: Darla.
  • Max: Like you're anything to look at.
  • Sam: Max.
  • little red head: [flipping the bird] FUCK YOU, THUMPER
  • Nun: [grabs her] DARLA
  • Max: ...
  • Max: ...
  • Max: ...
  • Sam: Max-
  • Max: I want that one.
  • Sam: Max, no.
Aries and Cancer
  • Aries: *eating ice cream*
  • Cancer: Don't eat ice cream, its snowing you're gonna get sick.
  • Cancer: *sigh* how many times do I have to tell y-
  • Cancer: Aries.
  • Aries: *runs after chipmunk* COME HERE CHIPMUNK!
  • Cancer: Aries don't just run off to places like that!
  • Cancer: Stop running we're gonna get lost!
  • Cancer: ARIES WATCH OUT!
  • Aries: Huh? *falls into a pond*
  • Cancer: OH MY GOD ARIES ARE YOU OKAY? *pulls Aries out of the pond*
  • Aries: *shaking* I-its cold...
  • Aries: Lol chill I'm okay.
  • Cancer: You could've hit your head on a rock or get kidnapped or-
  • Aries: Yeah yeah whatever, I'M GONNA GO BUILD A FORT AND MAKE A SNOWMAN! *runs away*
  • Virgo: *watching from a distance* Geez Aries is like an overly-energetic 5 year old and Cancer is like his mother...

anonymous asked:

I just had this random memory, so like, a few years ago I was hanging out with my girlfriend's sister (Their family has adopted me or something, I don't know what happened but it's nice) and she asked me what my favourite colour was and I said purple and she just nodded knowingly and I was like "??????" and she looked at me, dead serious, and said "It's because you're bi." This kid was like 8 years old and not even 5 feet tall and I swear to god that's the best thing anyone has ever said to me.

OH MY GOD 😂😂😂👏🏼

its-jennyb3  asked:

Hello, darling! If you're still doing reactions, I was wondering what Jay Park's reaction be to his 5 year old daughter having her first crush on Simon D?

Jay is the type of dad that turns into a “Daughter’s fool” and would be over the top with his little girl having her first crush. He would always playfully be comparing himself to Simon D in front of his daughter like, “Isn’t Appa more handsome than uncle Samm D?” Ect.

Originally posted by hitchhikinginfreakland

anonymous asked:

How dare they reupload a drabble of yours! >:( Even though I'm no artist or writer, I'm really tired of seeing stuff that's been reposted so many times without an artist's or writer's consent (is that sentence structure right?). You're an AMAZING writer, and it just saddens me to see you work shamelessly being reuploaded to another site. You spent quite a lot of time on your writing, and all they did was copy and pasted it (and even edited one of your titles? like that's disrespectful). :(

Oh they didn’t just reupload a drabble anon, they reposted my whole bloody fanfic. 21 chapters, 68,000 words. Took me  5 months to write, writing almost every day for hours on end. Then they think they can get away with stealing it.

Well they thought wrong.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) this 15 year  old reposter blocked me after basically saying the teenage tantrum equivalent of “I don’t care” so I can’t contact them directly any more.


This reposter hasn’t only stolen from me, but they’ve also stolen a bunch of Chat Noir/ Adrien Agreste X Reader oneshots from a bunch of writers on deviantart- if you can help me contact these people, that’d be really lovely. It’s over 20 stories she’s stolen and I have no time to find the original authors and contact them. I’ve been able to contact a few though.

Once again, however, I ask you not to harass this person or say rude things to them despite how immature they are. The odd comment on their fics telling people that it’s stolen and where to find the original is ok- but I don’t condone bullying or mob mentalities. Two wrongs don’t make a right here ok? We can teach this person that stealing is wrong without stooping to their level.

Thank you guys for helping me out with this. It’s not…been great ^^; to say the least. But I’m happy to have such lovely people offering me support! You guys rock! <3