you're killing me. do you know that

It actually kills me when we don’t talk, it kills me when you ignore me, it kills me when you’re busy with your life.
  • Sangwoo: So after keeping you locked in my house by breaking both your legs, torturing you, making you kill someone and constant psychological torture, I try to do a nice thing for you by driving you to have a mental breakdown in making you jealous of a girl which leads you to stab her multiple times in a blind murder rage.
  • Yoon Bum: Yes.
  • Sangwoo: And you're telling me that you didn't like it.
  • Yoon Bum: Not particularly.
  • Sangwoo: I don't know why I bother.
  • <p> <b>Hufflepuff:</b> *is babysitting*<p/><b>Baby:</b> *starts crying*<p/><b>Hufflepuff:</b> No! No you're ok don't cry!<p/><b>Hufflepuff:</b> What do I do?!<p/><b>Slytherin:</b> *trying to ignore the baby*<p/><b>Slytherin:</b> *sighs and puts down book*<p/><b>Slytherin:</b> Give him here.<p/><b>Slytherin:</b> *takes baby and rocks him*<p/><b>Slytherin:</b> *coos* You're ok little one.<p/><b>Baby:</b> *stops crying*<p/><b>Hufflepuff:</b> You're good with babies??<p/><b>Slytherin:</b> If you tell anyone, I'll kill you.<p/></p>
I’m imagining the epilouge but with Neville’s kid instead of Harry’s.
  • Sensibly Named Child: Dad, what if the hat puts me in Slytherin?
  • Neville: Then it means you really are a Slytherin. Do you have any idea how hard I begged to be a Hufflepuff? How hard I argued with the hat against Gryffindor? And you know what, it turns out the hat was right and I pulled the sword out of the hat and killed the snake. It's a magical hat and you're an eleven year old who thinks Axe works to attract girls. You know nothing, listen to the hat.
  • Garrus: Alright, my turn. What's the first order an Alliance commander gives at the start of combat?
  • Joker: Uh... I give up.
  • Garrus: (chuckles) Correct.
  • Joker: Ohohoh... alright, big guy. What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster?
  • Garrus: Friendly fire - come on, that one goes back to Shanxi!
  • Joker: Well, you gotta respect the classics!
  • Garrus: How many humans does it take to activate a dormant mass relay?
  • Joker: (exasperated) 602. 600 to vote on it, one to ask the asari for technical help and one to request a seat on the Council afterwards. How do you know when a turian is out of ammo?
  • Garrus: He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots... with brittle bone disease?
  • Joker: Y... you're shittin' me! The turian military has one about me?
  • Garrus: Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.
  • Joker: Okay, why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
  • Garrus: So that their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.
  • Joker: ...damn, you need to tell James that one. Hey, what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face?
  • Garrus: (deadpan) Figuring out which side took the rocket.
  • steve: you wrote about me
  • bucky: I don't know what you're talking about
  • steve: you pulled me out of the river
  • bucky: idk why I did that
  • steve: you nearly killed tony because he hurt me. you actually roared like an angry pigeon or something
  • bucky: I don't like him
  • steve: you tried to pull me behind the shield when I was covering you with it
  • bucky: I didn't mean to do that
  • steve: you remembered my shoes and the hotdogs but not that girls name
  • bucky: I have memory problems that's all
  • steve: you left our dates because I ran off, didn't even apologize
  • bucky: your date would've wondered where you went, I found you for her
  • steve: you lied and told me you only knew me because of the smithsonian because you wanted to protect me, to make me go
  • bucky: blame the brochure
  • steve: you made me share an apartment with you
  • bucky: I needed someone to do the dishes
  • steve: you kept my picture
  • bucky: memory problems remember?
  • steve: you didn't like it when I kissed sharon, I can tell your fake smile from your real one
  • bucky: you were wasting valuable time
  • steve: you put yourself back into cryo so I'd stop being reckless and not become a criminal just to keep you
  • bucky: I was tired
  • steve: you made a vow, told me you'd be with me until death
  • bucky: idk why I did that
  • steve: you interrupted my moment with peggy because you were jealous
  • bucky: you deserved applause and attention for your bravery
  • steve: you fell from the train because you were protecting me
  • bucky: wasn't my smartest move
  • steve: you gave me heart eyes at the bar in '43
  • bucky: I was drunk
  • steve: we shared money and everything else like...a couple
  • bucky: it was convenient
  • steve: you're in love with me
  • bucky: yes
  • steve: what
  • bucky: what
  • sai: I still don't understand your bond with sasuke
  • naruto: this again?
  • naruto: look, it's simple
  • naruto: basically, he's my best friend, and the first person to really accept me for myself
  • naruto: we're also rivals because I've always wanted to be his equal, but he made me feel inferior, that bastard
  • naruto: I admire his determination, skills, strength, and the hidden kindness in his heart
  • naruto: I like the way his skin glows like the moon, the way his eyes are so clear and black, I can see my own reflection if I lean in close enough
  • naruto: his lips feel like velvet and taste sour, but also a little sweet
  • naruto: like tomatoes, I guess... huh...
  • sai: and how do you know what his lips taste like?
  • naruto: oh yeah, we kissed a few times
  • naruto: it was mostly on accident
  • sai: but you say you're friends?
  • naruto: no, no, we're more than just friends
  • sai: I see... that makes more sense
  • naruto: yeah, he's like a brother to me
  • naruto: a really infuriating, good-looking older brother
  • sai: I'm confused again
  • sai: so you're not in love with him?
  • naruto: don't be ridiculous- I just told you he's like a brother to me
  • naruto: you can't be in love with your brother
  • naruto: no matter how good-looking he is
  • naruto: that's weird
  • sai: and the rest of this is normal?
  • naruto: um... yeah
  • sai: I understand now
  • naruto: you do?
  • sai: yes, if I was sasuke, I would want to kill you too
  • naruto: sai, we have to work on your people skills

@keilattes
daddy 😍😍 I want him to grind on me fuck viktor lol. can he choke me w his tie!!!!!!! ily who r u DRUNK  BANQUET YUURI IS MY BF I WANT HIM TO STEP ON ME HOW DID YOU KNOW???? 😰😰😰 ily I don’t deserve him wtf zeph please kill me /KISSES U THANK U SM <33333 JUST THESE SKETCHES ARE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL & A BLESSING sobs grossly ily

LMAO KEI DO YOU NEED MORE WATER

biconic-rosa-diaz  asked:

Taako: "But the one thing we do have is the thing that people in love rarely ever have enough of, and it's time. You got all the time in the world, my man." Also Taako, decades later: "I DIDN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD TAKE THIS LONG WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE TWO OF YOU YOU'RE KILLING ME"

taako voice: “barry. barold. my dude, my guy, my soon to be brother in law, why the fuck did you wait like forty years? forty years! i know i said you had time, my man, but i didn’t mean you should wait for like, the stars to align. what the fuck were you waiting for, a sign from the gods???

taako at their wedding:  

“Hello? Hi, sup, is this thing on? Oh, fuckin’ excellent, it is. Okay thugs, hi, I’m Taako, you know, from TV, and I’m here to tell you, mmm, a little story. Lulu, I see you getting up from over there and I am telling you to sit your fancy married ass back down next to your husband, Taako’s talking. I deserve this. I have been waiting, oh, I don’t know, half a century for these two idiots to get together, and I’m gonna savor every minute of this. Barold, get your head out of your hands, you don’t have any reputation for me to kill, everyone knows you’re a dork. 

Okay, where was I? Right. I’m going to tell you a story.” 

and then he talks about EVERY TIME BARRY AND LUP TALKED ABOUT EACH OTHER TO HIM.

club penguin bans sentence starters
  • "i'm a fucking piece of pizza,"
  • "holy shit toto, we sure as fuck ain't in kansas anymore,"
  • "i ain't fucking with these christmas lights anymore,"
  • "why is the only angry one black?"
  • "get in loser, we're going sledding,"
  • "jesus fucking christ, that cookie hot as shit,"
  • "ah yes, my meth lab is ready,"
  • "i need this life vest 'cos i'm drowning in the pussy,"
  • "i could kill you right now, no one would wear you scream,"
  • "i could go back and pretend to be you,"
  • "fashion police, you're definitely under arrest,"
  • "you're tearing this family apart, ___"
  • "what do you mean you're being murdered? that's illegal, people can't do that,"
  • "i'm wanted for stealing yo girl/boy,"
  • "wanna hear a joke? your future,"
  • "i would like to order all the money,"
  • "when i see stars i think of you. because you're only beautiful from a distance,"
  • "do it for the vine,"
  • "you dress like an idiot,"
  • "girl/boy, are you because i want to take you out,"
  • "hey you forgot something. your social life,"
  • "help me hide this body in here,"
  • "did you just propose, using emojis?"
  • "do drugs they said. it will be fun they said,"
  • "it's called capitalism,"
  • "thank you for helping me commit cannibalism,"
  • "shit, we on national television,"
  • "bitch, throw one more snowball at me,"
  • "can you leave my house please?"
  • "i'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch,"
  • "can i pay you in swag?"
  • "excuse me, do you know where i can find the booty?"
  • "what the flipper?"
  • "santa isn't real,"
  • "what do penguins do in a race? they peng-win,"
  • "a milkshake ain't a goddamn pizza,"
  • "locked up because my eyebrow game was too strong,"
  • "man, look at all this fuckin' dope,"
  • "fuck it, i ain't running,"
  • "hey, do you wanna join my gang?"
  • "i'll ask my mom,"
  • "smooth as butter,"
  • ---Outside Keith's Room---
  • Lance: Hey, Keith? Buddy, you in there?
  • Keith: Go away Lance.
  • Lance: //Enters anyway//
  • ---Inside Keith's Room---
  • Keith: I don't want to talk Lance, just leave me alone ok?
  • Lance: Hey, nobody's seen you since breakfast, who said anything about talking? I came to make sure you hadn't died or something.
  • Keith: ....
  • Lance: But we could always talk since I'm here now anyway. //Sits on the bed//
  • Keith: Lance-
  • Lance: C'mon man, everyone's worried about you. You barely show your face around the castle, and whenever you do you avoid everyone like you're on some kind of stealth mission.
  • Keith: //Scoffs// Nobody is worried about me, and I'm not avoiding everyone... I just...
  • Lance: //Frowns// Keith, we're a team, if you're upset, we all feel it. The whole team's out of whack. Just talk to me - despite what Pidge might have told you, I am great with feelings and junk.
  • Keith: I don't - It's just - Ugh, it's just easier not to see everyone judging me, and hating me if I'm not around them, ok?! I don't care what you say, I've seen the way they look at me - and I look normal now, but what if it gets worse? What if I do start going purple? Or I sprout fur or something stupid like that. How would they look at me then? I'd be just another Galra....... Lance, I don't think I should be on the team anymore.
  • Lance: Wait what? Are you kidding! You think you should be off the team? The team that the Red Lion chose you for? That's crazy! Keith, you've saved everyone's butts loads of times, what would we do without you? How would we form Voltron? And you know, keep the universe safe?
  • Keith: You'd find someone else-
  • Lance: There is no one else Keith! *You're* the Red Paladin. So what if you're Galra? ... Well, sure, there's the whole being a member of the race that's 'trying to take over the universe, destroy entire civilisations and trying to kill us all the time' thing but-
  • Keith: Great, that makes me feel much better.
  • Lance: Well when I say it like that it sounds bad, but that's not all you are. You're Keith first, before any of all that. It's just been a bit of a shock - it's raw you know? Everyone will come to terms with it, trust me... Like I don't know if you've noticed, but Hunk's pretty much got an alien girlfriend
  • Keith: What?
  • Lance: Sure, nobody's judging. And we've all seen Shiro's badass glowing arm thing - also Galra I might add. Does it make us think any less of him? No way! And I'm also convinced Pidge is part computer, I just don't have any proof yet.
  • Keith: //Smiles//
  • Lance: Allura's probably gonna take a little longer than the rest of us, but she's still hurting, and hey, she's like over 10,000 years old, she just needs to get with the times. Like, Galra Keith? Whatever, am I right?
  • Keith: ...... //Chuckles// Thanks Lance.
  • Lance: So don't worry, just come back to the team, we miss you. We've all got our little hang ups and stuff, so it's ok
  • Keith: Yeah, everyone except you - you're perfect
  • Lance: Uh-
  • Keith: - ! //Flustered//
  • Lance: //Flustered as hell//
4

Android/robot au I’ve had in mind for a long long time.

Kuroo is a soldier sent to shut down a lab for shady operations. There he met Kenma, the smartest android ever created. They slowly and awkwardly learned to know each other, but Kenma was forcibly taken away by the lab company and restarted in order to erase his memories. Kuroo broke into the new secret lab to take back Kenma and after reaching him and seeing his expressionless face, he knew Kenma forgot every memory they’ve created together. But then Kenma smiled, took the soldier’s hand and gently said, “Kuroo Tetsurou.”


Bokuto is a secret android prototype feared by the lab employees.
Akaashi is merely a newly hired lab helper.
By getting lost in the lab, Akaashi met Bokuto and started to meet with him secretly. After discovering the lab’s plan to turn Bokuto into an indestructible weapon for war, Akaashi tried to flee with him, only to be caught and half beaten to death in front of Bokuto who snapped and almost killed everyone. As Bokuto knelt down and held Akaashi close, he said, “I’m not sure why I did that. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I hated that they almost took you away from me forever.

I never experienced it before, but I think that’s what people call it love,” said Akaashi. “You were never meant to develop feelings, but for some reason, you did; and that’s what made them fear you.

It’s super cliché, I know.

sticker and stuff

Profound Sentence Meme
  • "People care about you, too, you know."
  • "What, and it's alright for you to save us, but never the other way around? Why not?"
  • "Don't you know how much you're loved?"
  • "You're trying to get yourself killed! Ever since it happened, you've been trying!"
  • "It's like you have a death wish."
  • "You're addicted to the adrenaline and sooner or later it will get someone killed. You, probably."
  • "What happened to you? Why are you like this?"
  • "This ISN'T okay."
  • "You can't keep treating yourself like this."
  • "I hear you crying sometimes, when you think nobody is listening."
  • "Do you know how sad you look sometimes?"
  • "What are you hiding from me? Just TELL me!"
  • "Something is eating you up from the inside. Something happened, or you've done something, or someone left. You need to share. Otherwise you're never going to feel okay again."
  • "Why are you like this?"
  • "Since when was doing THIS okay?"
  • "It's okay to talk to people."
  • "I'm not fragile, I'm not going to break if you talk to me about it. I'll listen and I'll care. That's it. I promise."
  • "You can't run away from this."
  • "I'm not going to leave you the moment you do something I disagree with."
  • "You're not secretly an irredeemably awful person!"
  • "What's going on with you?"
Things The Signs Have Said That Break My Heart
  • Aries: Was I ever anything more than a sad kid? I thought the drugs would help, but they just make you sadder and a little deader. I really tried my best, but I don't think there's much use anymore. Nobody cared then, and nobody cares now.
  • Taurus: I'm sorry, but I fell in love with you. I watch you move and I'm captivated. The world slows down just a little bit when I look at you. I wanna kiss your long neck, and run my fingers through your curly hair. I wanna listen to you talk for hours about old movies and bad music. I wanna hear every word that you have to say. But I can't, because you're in love with someone else
  • Gemini: I dreamed so much as a little kid. All those dreams are dead know. The world has a lot of fun killing little girls dreams.
  • Cancer: Please don't go! Stay! Stay! I need you to stay! No one ever stays.
  • Leo: I used to be special. Everyone thought I was going to be this amazing person. They thought I would do great things, but look at me. I'm nothing. If I was anything, it would be a failure.
  • Virgo: She just left. She didn't say anything. In one simple second, all the love and laughter that we had, was ripped from both of us. She just decided she did't feel like loving me anymore.
  • Libra: It's all gone. Any hope that I had is gone.
  • Scorpio: Do you think that if I get prettier, he might look at me like he used to? Maybe he'll love me again.
  • Sagittarius: The whole world is at my fingertips, they say, but I can't seem to ever grab it.
  • Capricorn: I could tell she didn't love me anymore. She would smile, but in her eyes I could see the pity and slight disgust she had for me. I tried to stop loving her, but I couldn't. I felt pathetic, like I was stood up. But this time I couldn't just go home and forget about it the next day. She was, and still is, my everything.
  • Aquarius: I don't want to feel this anymore. I don't want to be trapped in my mind. I want to live again. I just want to see the light one more time.
  • Pisces: Could you just tell me you love me? You don't have to mean it. I just want, for a second, to feel loved.
what should've happened in 7x06
  • jon: i have a beauty waiting for me back in winterfell, if i ever get back there.
  • jon: red hair, blue eyes, tallest woman you've ever seen, almost as tall as you.
  • the hound: sansa stark?
  • jon: you know her?
  • the hound: you're with sansa fucking stark?
  • jon: well... not with her yet... but i see the way she looks at me.
  • the hound: how does she look at you? like she wants to kill you and fuck you at the same time?
  • jon: you do know her.
  • the hound: we've met.
  • jon: i want to make babies with her.
  • jon: think of them. brave beautiful gingers. they conquer the world.
Death Note Characters as @wolfpupy tweets
  • Light: have to stop saying "How am I going to kill my way out of this one" every time there is trouble going on, or at least not out loud
  • L: popcorn, or as cerebral smart minds such as myself refer to it 'popped corn', is the number #1 food of watching things
  • Near: thats cool. oh that wasn’t a response to what you said i was just noting that it’s cool that i wasn’t listening or caring
  • Misa: if you think im going to compromise my luxurious hair with inferior non bubblegum scented hair product think again and another thing,shut up
  • Mello: i am abandoning the twitter world to pursue a career as a gun slinging fashion diva. good riddance to you all
  • Matt: tired of people always telling me go to hospital and that i've lost a lot of blood, its my severe head injury not yours stay out of it
  • Soichiro: Hey kids I know you're struggling right now, but I'm here to tell you everything gets worse forever
  • Matsuda: my lights aren’t all on upstairs because i am saving energy, just doing my bit to help the planet, not that you’d know anything about that
  • Mogi: the world continues to spiral out of control and i am just sitting here like a bad bitch
  • Aizawa: hey murderers and killers, knock it off. stop killing and murdering all the time, thats just my opinion though
  • Ide: going to play devil's advocate here and say they shouldn't let bodies hit the floor
  • Ryuk: hate when people say im lurking in the shadows when im just chilling
  • Rem: one of these days i will float up off into space and no one can stop me, not even gravity or nasa
  • Kiyomi: everyone who died and was killed on my quest to get really good hair and fashion deserved it and i dont care
  • Mikami: once again i am not included in the list of the world’s most successful people because of my complete lack of success, bias at its finest.
  • Beyond: its impossible to prove that i cant kick every extinct animals ass and i will be flexing in victory for the next several hours
  • Naomi: I hope one day I will find love, or a cool looking leaf. either one
Prediction for next potc movie
  • Davy Jones: I killed you once Turner, I do not fear you
  • Will: Oh it's not me you're suposed to fear
  • Davy Jones: What?
  • Elizabeth: (in the distance) DAVY JONES!
  • Davy Jones: *looks to see Elizabeth swinging in with a sword in her hand and murder in her eyes*
  • Elizabeth: YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND!
  • Will: She's going to fuck you up
  • Davy Jones: *sighs* I know
Illness-Based rp Starters
  • "You've been coughing a lot. You okay?"
  • "What is wrong with you?"
  • "Gosh, you're burning up!"
  • "Um, hey? Anyone in there? Hello?"
  • "Ugh, just blow your nose already."
  • "My head might just explode."
  • "I think I'm gonna hurl."
  • "If you get me sick, I'll kill you."
  • "Ah-choo!"
  • "Okay, that can't be allergies. Are you sick?"
  • "Geez, you look like crap."
  • "That is so gross."
  • "Hey, woah. Don't pass out on me here."
  • "You really should be in bed, you know."
  • "I'm too busy to spend all day in bed."
  • "I'b fide."
  • "Please tell me there's some cough drops left."
  • "Do you think it's warm in here?"
  • "You're so pale."
  • "Have you eaten today?"
  • "They told me you passed out. How do you feel?"
  • "I'm not getting out of bed."
  • "The soup is probably great, but I can't taste a thing."
  • "You know, that's not helping me feel better."
  • "My nose hates me."
  • "You should probably stay back. You don't want to catch this."
  • "Are you coming down with something?"
  • "My throat feels funny."