you're killing me. do you know that

It actually kills me when we don’t talk, it kills me when you ignore me, it kills me when you’re busy with your life.
  • Garrus: Alright, my turn. What's the first order an Alliance commander gives at the start of combat?
  • Joker: Uh... I give up.
  • Garrus: (chuckles) Correct.
  • Joker: Ohohoh... alright, big guy. What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster?
  • Garrus: Friendly fire - come on, that one goes back to Shanxi!
  • Joker: Well, you gotta respect the classics!
  • Garrus: How many humans does it take to activate a dormant mass relay?
  • Joker: (exasperated) 602. 600 to vote on it, one to ask the asari for technical help and one to request a seat on the Council afterwards. How do you know when a turian is out of ammo?
  • Garrus: He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots... with brittle bone disease?
  • Joker: Y... you're shittin' me! The turian military has one about me?
  • Garrus: Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.
  • Joker: Okay, why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
  • Garrus: So that their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.
  • Joker: ...damn, you need to tell James that one. Hey, what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face?
  • Garrus: (deadpan) Figuring out which side took the rocket.

@keilattes
daddy 😍😍 I want him to grind on me fuck viktor lol. can he choke me w his tie!!!!!!! ily who r u DRUNK  BANQUET YUURI IS MY BF I WANT HIM TO STEP ON ME HOW DID YOU KNOW???? 😰😰😰 ily I don’t deserve him wtf zeph please kill me /KISSES U THANK U SM <33333 JUST THESE SKETCHES ARE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL & A BLESSING sobs grossly ily

LMAO KEI DO YOU NEED MORE WATER

I’m imagining the epilouge but with Neville’s kid instead of Harry’s.
  • Sensibly Named Child: Dad, what if the hat puts me in Slytherin?
  • Neville: Then it means you really are a Slytherin. Do you have any idea how hard I begged to be a Hufflepuff? How hard I argued with the hat against Gryffindor? And you know what, it turns out the hat was right and I pulled the sword out of the hat and killed the snake. It's a magical hat and you're an eleven year old who thinks Axe works to attract girls. You know nothing, listen to the hat.
  • steve: you wrote about me
  • bucky: I don't know what you're talking about
  • steve: you pulled me out of the river
  • bucky: idk why I did that
  • steve: you nearly killed tony because he hurt me. you actually roared like an angry pigeon or something
  • bucky: I don't like him
  • steve: you tried to pull me behind the shield when I was covering you with it
  • bucky: I didn't mean to do that
  • steve: you remembered my shoes and the hotdogs but not that girls name
  • bucky: I have memory problems that's all
  • steve: you left our dates because I ran off, didn't even apologize
  • bucky: your date would've wondered where you went, I found you for her
  • steve: you lied and told me you only knew me because of the smithsonian because you wanted to protect me, to make me go
  • bucky: blame the brochure
  • steve: you made me share an apartment with you
  • bucky: I needed someone to do the dishes
  • steve: you kept my picture
  • bucky: memory problems remember?
  • steve: you didn't like it when I kissed sharon, I can tell your fake smile from your real one
  • bucky: you were wasting valuable time
  • steve: you put yourself back into cryo so I'd stop being reckless and not become a criminal just to keep you
  • bucky: I was tired
  • steve: you made a vow, told me you'd be with me until death
  • bucky: idk why I did that
  • steve: you interrupted my moment with peggy because you were jealous
  • bucky: you deserved applause and attention for your bravery
  • steve: you fell from the train because you were protecting me
  • bucky: wasn't my smartest move
  • steve: you gave me heart eyes at the bar in '43
  • bucky: I was drunk
  • steve: we shared money and everything else like...a couple
  • bucky: it was convenient
  • steve: you're in love with me
  • bucky: yes
  • steve: what
  • bucky: what
  • sai: I still don't understand your bond with sasuke
  • naruto: this again?
  • naruto: look, it's simple
  • naruto: basically, he's my best friend, and the first person to really accept me for myself
  • naruto: we're also rivals because I've always wanted to be his equal, but he made me feel inferior, that bastard
  • naruto: I admire his determination, skills, strength, and the hidden kindness in his heart
  • naruto: I like the way his skin glows like the moon, the way his eyes are so clear and black, I can see my own reflection if I lean in close enough
  • naruto: his lips feel like velvet and taste sour, but also a little sweet
  • naruto: like tomatoes, I guess... huh...
  • sai: and how do you know what his lips taste like?
  • naruto: oh yeah, we kissed a few times
  • naruto: it was mostly on accident
  • sai: but you say you're friends?
  • naruto: no, no, we're more than just friends
  • sai: I see... that makes more sense
  • naruto: yeah, he's like a brother to me
  • naruto: a really infuriating, good-looking older brother
  • sai: I'm confused again
  • sai: so you're not in love with him?
  • naruto: don't be ridiculous- I just told you he's like a brother to me
  • naruto: you can't be in love with your brother
  • naruto: no matter how good-looking he is
  • naruto: that's weird
  • sai: and the rest of this is normal?
  • naruto: um... yeah
  • sai: I understand now
  • naruto: you do?
  • sai: yes, if I was sasuke, I would want to kill you too
  • naruto: sai, we have to work on your people skills
  • ---Outside Keith's Room---
  • Lance: Hey, Keith? Buddy, you in there?
  • Keith: Go away Lance.
  • Lance: //Enters anyway//
  • ---Inside Keith's Room---
  • Keith: I don't want to talk Lance, just leave me alone ok?
  • Lance: Hey, nobody's seen you since breakfast, who said anything about talking? I came to make sure you hadn't died or something.
  • Keith: ....
  • Lance: But we could always talk since I'm here now anyway. //Sits on the bed//
  • Keith: Lance-
  • Lance: C'mon man, everyone's worried about you. You barely show your face around the castle, and whenever you do you avoid everyone like you're on some kind of stealth mission.
  • Keith: //Scoffs// Nobody is worried about me, and I'm not avoiding everyone... I just...
  • Lance: //Frowns// Keith, we're a team, if you're upset, we all feel it. The whole team's out of whack. Just talk to me - despite what Pidge might have told you, I am great with feelings and junk.
  • Keith: I don't - It's just - Ugh, it's just easier not to see everyone judging me, and hating me if I'm not around them, ok?! I don't care what you say, I've seen the way they look at me - and I look normal now, but what if it gets worse? What if I do start going purple? Or I sprout fur or something stupid like that. How would they look at me then? I'd be just another Galra....... Lance, I don't think I should be on the team anymore.
  • Lance: Wait what? Are you kidding! You think you should be off the team? The team that the Red Lion chose you for? That's crazy! Keith, you've saved everyone's butts loads of times, what would we do without you? How would we form Voltron? And you know, keep the universe safe?
  • Keith: You'd find someone else-
  • Lance: There is no one else Keith! *You're* the Red Paladin. So what if you're Galra? ... Well, sure, there's the whole being a member of the race that's 'trying to take over the universe, destroy entire civilisations and trying to kill us all the time' thing but-
  • Keith: Great, that makes me feel much better.
  • Lance: Well when I say it like that it sounds bad, but that's not all you are. You're Keith first, before any of all that. It's just been a bit of a shock - it's raw you know? Everyone will come to terms with it, trust me... Like I don't know if you've noticed, but Hunk's pretty much got an alien girlfriend
  • Keith: What?
  • Lance: Sure, nobody's judging. And we've all seen Shiro's badass glowing arm thing - also Galra I might add. Does it make us think any less of him? No way! And I'm also convinced Pidge is part computer, I just don't have any proof yet.
  • Keith: //Smiles//
  • Lance: Allura's probably gonna take a little longer than the rest of us, but she's still hurting, and hey, she's like over 10,000 years old, she just needs to get with the times. Like, Galra Keith? Whatever, am I right?
  • Keith: ...... //Chuckles// Thanks Lance.
  • Lance: So don't worry, just come back to the team, we miss you. We've all got our little hang ups and stuff, so it's ok
  • Keith: Yeah, everyone except you - you're perfect
  • Lance: Uh-
  • Keith: - ! //Flustered//
  • Lance: //Flustered as hell//
club penguin bans sentence starters
  • "i'm a fucking piece of pizza,"
  • "holy shit toto, we sure as fuck ain't in kansas anymore,"
  • "i ain't fucking with these christmas lights anymore,"
  • "why is the only angry one black?"
  • "get in loser, we're going sledding,"
  • "jesus fucking christ, that cookie hot as shit,"
  • "ah yes, my meth lab is ready,"
  • "i need this life vest 'cos i'm drowning in the pussy,"
  • "i could kill you right now, no one would wear you scream,"
  • "i could go back and pretend to be you,"
  • "fashion police, you're definitely under arrest,"
  • "you're tearing this family apart, ___"
  • "what do you mean you're being murdered? that's illegal, people can't do that,"
  • "i'm wanted for stealing yo girl/boy,"
  • "wanna hear a joke? your future,"
  • "i would like to order all the money,"
  • "when i see stars i think of you. because you're only beautiful from a distance,"
  • "do it for the vine,"
  • "you dress like an idiot,"
  • "girl/boy, are you because i want to take you out,"
  • "hey you forgot something. your social life,"
  • "help me hide this body in here,"
  • "did you just propose, using emojis?"
  • "do drugs they said. it will be fun they said,"
  • "it's called capitalism,"
  • "thank you for helping me commit cannibalism,"
  • "shit, we on national television,"
  • "bitch, throw one more snowball at me,"
  • "can you leave my house please?"
  • "i'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch,"
  • "can i pay you in swag?"
  • "excuse me, do you know where i can find the booty?"
  • "what the flipper?"
  • "santa isn't real,"
  • "what do penguins do in a race? they peng-win,"
  • "a milkshake ain't a goddamn pizza,"
  • "locked up because my eyebrow game was too strong,"
  • "man, look at all this fuckin' dope,"
  • "fuck it, i ain't running,"
  • "hey, do you wanna join my gang?"
  • "i'll ask my mom,"
  • "smooth as butter,"
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Person:</b> *walking along a deserted alleyway*<p/><b>Sangwoo:</b> Sir hi excuse me yeah hi reaaally sorry about this, I know it's a bit awkward to point out but uhhhh.....you seem to have spilled some blood<p/><b>Sangwoo:</b> Sir you're going to have to clean that up<p/><b>Sangwoo:</b> Sir your neck just caught on to my knife<p/><b>Sangwoo:</b> Sir<p/><b>Sangwoo:</b> Sir please don't take a nap while I'm talking to you<p/><b>Sangwoo:</b> sIR<p/></p><p/></p>
Things The Signs Have Said That Break My Heart
  • Aries: Was I ever anything more than a sad kid? I thought the drugs would help, but they just make you sadder and a little deader. I really tried my best, but I don't think there's much use anymore. Nobody cared then, and nobody cares now.
  • Taurus: I'm sorry, but I fell in love with you. I watch you move and I'm captivated. The world slows down just a little bit when I look at you. I wanna kiss your long neck, and run my fingers through your curly hair. I wanna listen to you talk for hours about old movies and bad music. I wanna hear every word that you have to say. But I can't, because you're in love with someone else
  • Gemini: I dreamed so much as a little kid. All those dreams are dead know. The world has a lot of fun killing little girls dreams.
  • Cancer: Please don't go! Stay! Stay! I need you to stay! No one ever stays.
  • Leo: I used to be special. Everyone thought I was going to be this amazing person. They thought I would do great things, but look at me. I'm nothing. If I was anything, it would be a failure.
  • Virgo: She just left. She didn't say anything. In one simple second, all the love and laughter that we had, was ripped from both of us. She just decided she did't feel like loving me anymore.
  • Libra: It's all gone. Any hope that I had is gone.
  • Scorpio: Do you think that if I get prettier, he might look at me like he used to? Maybe he'll love me again.
  • Sagittarius: The whole world is at my fingertips, they say, but I can't seem to ever grab it.
  • Capricorn: I could tell she didn't love me anymore. She would smile, but in her eyes I could see the pity and slight disgust she had for me. I tried to stop loving her, but I couldn't. I felt pathetic, like I was stood up. But this time I couldn't just go home and forget about it the next day. She was, and still is, my everything.
  • Aquarius: I don't want to feel this anymore. I don't want to be trapped in my mind. I want to live again. I just want to see the light one more time.
  • Pisces: Could you just tell me you love me? You don't have to mean it. I just want, for a second, to feel loved.
Profound Sentence Meme
  • "People care about you, too, you know."
  • "What, and it's alright for you to save us, but never the other way around? Why not?"
  • "Don't you know how much you're loved?"
  • "You're trying to get yourself killed! Ever since it happened, you've been trying!"
  • "It's like you have a death wish."
  • "You're addicted to the adrenaline and sooner or later it will get someone killed. You, probably."
  • "What happened to you? Why are you like this?"
  • "This ISN'T okay."
  • "You can't keep treating yourself like this."
  • "I hear you crying sometimes, when you think nobody is listening."
  • "Do you know how sad you look sometimes?"
  • "What are you hiding from me? Just TELL me!"
  • "Something is eating you up from the inside. Something happened, or you've done something, or someone left. You need to share. Otherwise you're never going to feel okay again."
  • "Why are you like this?"
  • "Since when was doing THIS okay?"
  • "It's okay to talk to people."
  • "I'm not fragile, I'm not going to break if you talk to me about it. I'll listen and I'll care. That's it. I promise."
  • "You can't run away from this."
  • "I'm not going to leave you the moment you do something I disagree with."
  • "You're not secretly an irredeemably awful person!"
  • "What's going on with you?"
  • Russia: Belarus, I need help...
  • Belarus: ... wait... you're asking me for help? I know I should be extremely happy, but I'm actually very concerned...
  • Russia: I accidentally shrunk big sister's favourite shirt in the dryer and I know she'll be mad at me... and you know how she is when she's mad!
  • Belarus: she's going to kill you... well, do what I always do.
  • Russia: and what is that?
  • Belarus: blame it on Latvia.
  • Latvia, from the distance: WHAT????
if zootopia had a gag reel
  • Flash: ...9...
  • Judy: THD03.
  • Flash: ...T...
  • Judy: HD03.
  • Flash: ...H... *his gadget crashes* ...this...is...the...third...time...this...happened...
  • Judy: *groans* I need more coffee for this scene...
  • -----
  • Gideon: Baa, baa, whaddya gonna do, cry?
  • Judy: Hey! You heard-- *her police cap slips completely over her head and she trips and falls over*
  • Gideon: ...Y'all, we'd better help her out before she actually does cry.
  • ----
  • *shortly after Mr. Manchas started going feral*
  • Judy: ...Mr. Manchas...?
  • *they open the door, finding that his tail was caught between his floorboards and he was desperately trying to get it out*
  • Mr. Manchas: ...It happened again, I know!
  • Nick: ...I don't know what I expected.
  • ------
  • Nick: ...Carrots. You saved my life.
  • Judy: Well, that's what we do at ZPD--EEEEEYAGH--
  • *they start falling, but the vines had been long enough that they were cocooned and still hit the ground with a loud thud*
  • Bogo: *rushes towards them* That--wasn't part of your act, right?
  • Nick: *visibly dazed* I'm seeing quick brown foxes jumping over rabbits...
  • -----
  • Nick: *starts petting Bellwether's head* So fluffy-- *accidentally rips off a huge chunk of her wool*
  • Bellwether: ...Still typing here. Totally not noticing you just did that.
  • ----
  • Bogo: ...You're fired.
  • Judy: What? Why?
  • Bogo: Insubordination!
  • Judy: *holds back laughter* S-sorry--I just can't--the word "insubordination" is just too funny--
  • Bogo: *looks at the camera* This is the fifteenth take. I cannot work like this--I'll be in my trailer--
  • ------
  • Judy: No, I am a cop. And I'm on the Emmitt Otterton case, and my evidence puts him in your car. So intimidate me all you want, I'm going to-- *sneezes at Mr. Big*
  • Mr. Big: ...It's all right. Many an animal gets the sniffles here.
  • -----
  • Judy: ...I don't deserve to wear this badge.
  • Bogo: Hopps.
  • Bellwether: Judy-- *forgets her lines*
  • Bogo: Bellwether.
  • Judy: Bogo.
  • Bellwether: Judy.
  • Nick: *offscreen* Nick!
  • -----
  • Nick: Look, you gave her a--a clown vest and joke mobile and two--two--two uh, what--yeah, no, sorry, I think I'm the one who needs that clown vest and joke mobile. *pokes his own nose* Honk honk.
  • ------
  • *Judy's train into Zootopia breaks down multiple times in the middle of its journey.*
  • Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the polar region* Well, at least I can always stop by for some ice cream.
  • Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the desert region* At least I can sunbathe here.
  • Judy: *as the train breaks down in the middle of the rainforest area* Wait, we're filming Mr. Manchas' part already?
  • ------
  • Clawhauser: *sipping loudly on his soda while Judy looks at the case file*
  • Judy: *is trying to hold back laughter*
  • Clawhauser: *unexpectedly burps really loudly* S-sorry, I didn't mean to do that--
  • Judy: *falls off her chair, laughing*
  • -------
  • Bucky: Hey buddy, turn down the depressing music!
  • Judy: *turns off her alarm clock*
  • Pronk: Leave the meter man alone! Didn't you hear the conversation? She feels like a failure!
  • Bucky: Oh, shut up!
  • Pronk: You shut up!
  • Bucky: You shut up!
  • Pronk: You shut up!
  • *they suddenly belt out Black Eyed Peas*
  • Bucky and Pronk: Shut up, just shut up, shut up--shut it up, just shut up, shut up--
  • Judy: *looks at the camera* Tomorrow's another day. Cut!
  • -----
  • Finnick: *from underneath the stroller* She hustled you-- *realizes his voice is actually high and pitchy* Wait--what--Nick, what did you do--
  • Nick: A little helium in your trailer, friend. Besides, you gotta be real convincing as a baby, don't you?
  • -------
  • Bogo: Two days to find the otter. Or you quit. That was the deal. Badge.
  • Judy: *is snickering*
  • Bogo: What now?
  • Judy: I-I'm sorry--I thought you said "baa". Like, baa baa Bogo, have you any wool? *falls in laughter*
  • Bogo: ...Excuse me while I actually facepalm here for a bit.
  • ------
  • Nick: All right, get in here. *steps back a bit as Judy goes in for the hug*
  • Judy: *lunges in for the hug and finds nothing, then falls on her face*
  • Nick: Sorry, just had t'get that out. *picks her up and actually hugs her* See, this is why we work so well. She knows my jokester side too well and just goes with it.
  • Judy: *muffled chuckling* ...I'm gonna fill your trailer with helium later, I swear.
  • -----
  • *while on the cable car*
  • Judy: ...Thank you.
  • Nick: *humming* What can I say, except "you're welcome?"
  • Judy: *chuckles* Should've never showed you that movie before filming. You've been humming it for days now.
  • -----
  • Judy: What are you gonna do? Kill me?
  • Bellwether: *chuckles* Of course not. He is. *pulls out a water pistol and splashes Nick's face* Wha--
  • Nick: *falls over, laughing* S-sorry, it was too easy--switching your gun to a water pistol--
  • Bellwether: *looks at the camera* Cue to Nick not being able to find where he hid the actual thing.
  • -----
  • Scientist: Mayor Lionheart, please. We're doing everything that we can.
  • Mayor Lionheart: Really? 'Cause I have a dozen and a half animals here who've gone off the rails--ails--ah, *stutters* Sorry, sorry, going too fast-- *chuckles* Wasn't quite my tempo back there...
  • ------
  • Bogo: *playing with the Gazelle app on his phone*
  • Clawhauser: *bursts into the room* Chief Bogo!
  • Bogo: *freaks out, throwing his phone out the window*
  • Clawhauser: ...You got another phone, right? And you still have my number on it?
  • -----
  • *Nick and the rest of the cast are backstage, taking a selfie with Gazelle and her tigers*
  • Nick: All right everyone, say, "sequel"!
TWISTED SENTENCE STARTERS.
  • Sometimes I wish that you'd just die
  • Cause I'm too afraid of leaving
  • I didn't know you'd be insane
  • Dreams can be so deceiving
  • How did it come to this?
  • Why do I fantasize to kill you when you're sleeping?
  • I didn't know you feel the same
  • When I say you're no good
  • All you are to me is nothing
  • Some people go crazy and they lose control
  • Some people jump off, some people won't let go
  • Some people say love, some people say why
  • Some people don't love, they just want a free ride
  • The rain won't stop, it'll never dry
  • Is a pain in my neck, thorn in my side
  • Stain on my blade, blood on my knife
  • Been dreaming of her, all of my life
  • But she won't come true, she's just my nightmare I woke up to
Illness-Based rp Starters
  • "You've been coughing a lot. You okay?"
  • "What is wrong with you?"
  • "Gosh, you're burning up!"
  • "Um, hey? Anyone in there? Hello?"
  • "Ugh, just blow your nose already."
  • "My head might just explode."
  • "I think I'm gonna hurl."
  • "If you get me sick, I'll kill you."
  • "Ah-choo!"
  • "Okay, that can't be allergies. Are you sick?"
  • "Geez, you look like crap."
  • "That is so gross."
  • "Hey, woah. Don't pass out on me here."
  • "You really should be in bed, you know."
  • "I'm too busy to spend all day in bed."
  • "I'b fide."
  • "Please tell me there's some cough drops left."
  • "Do you think it's warm in here?"
  • "You're so pale."
  • "Have you eaten today?"
  • "They told me you passed out. How do you feel?"
  • "I'm not getting out of bed."
  • "The soup is probably great, but I can't taste a thing."
  • "You know, that's not helping me feel better."
  • "My nose hates me."
  • "You should probably stay back. You don't want to catch this."
  • "Are you coming down with something?"
  • "My throat feels funny."

anonymous asked:

hi!! how are you?? your writing is incredible!! i was wondering if you could do a scenario where jungkook falls for a very very shy girl?? or a drabble about what jungkook dating a shy girl would be like?? i'm a very shy jungkook stan so i always imagine what it's like for him to date someone shyer than himself. thank you!! i hope you're having a good day!! xx

and i hope you’ll like my writing too, knowing that rose truly was a lil bit gifted (lmao she’ll kill me). i chose to do a list type of thing because i’m not good with drabbles or scenarios. i might try to do a tiny drabble later, though. :3
i hope you enjoy this, anonie~

(it’s kind of short, sorry for that e_e)


JUNGKOOK DATING SOMEONE SHY

  • first of all, only god knows how you two got together because he’s also a shy bean-
  • wait
  • what’s that sound…? 
  • oh
  • oh nO
  • NO NO NO IT’S 👏 COCKY 😫 NOCHU 👏 😧 COMING THRU 👄👄👄 GOTTA BLAST 👋👋 👅💦💦💦 💥🏃🏃
  • ok i’m sorry
  • but really though, jungkook is a dipshit and the fact that you are shy would make his ego jump over the roof. someone should put him down that’s why i want him to get a confident girlfriend/boyfriend
  • but yeah back to the drabble
  • first of all (for real this time) jeon jungkook will tease the hell out of you
  • and not cute teasing
  • but annoying and stupid teasing
  • and sometimes he will hurt you by teasing you too much, but it’s okay, jungkook is also very sweet and caring, so he will comfort you and cuddle you and tell you cute things and he won’t tease you for a long time
  • i’m already weak hold me
  • enjoys watching you blush, so will do anything to witness you blushing
  • he will do things like “oh wow look at smol/tol you lemme just get real close so that i can look down at you/see if we are at eye level hah”
  • i hope god is on your side because the smirking galore is literally never ending and you might pass out 
  • i would pass out 
  • he??? smirks every time he catches you looking at him??? AND EVEN BEFORE HE TURNS TO LOOK AT YOU BC HE’S THE GOLDEN MAKNAE AND FEELS AND KNOWS EVERYTHING 
  • (i hate him)
  • will subtly try to feel you up in public and whispers dirty stuff in ur year and then laugh at flustered you (ONLY IF YOU’RE OK WITH THAT OF COURSE) 
  • if you were very shy outside too, don’t worry. he’ll order for you stuff and also pay :)
  • i’m in actual pain jesus christ 
  • he will find you cute nonetheless because he finds your shyness adorable and the faces you pull make his day and he’s fucking lame and whipped 
  • will make you tiny gifts just so he can see your reaction 
  • hopes that you will get over that shy state but doesn’t mind if you don’t
  • introduces you to his friends and when you act all cute he’s literally ‘awww'ing and pulling you into a side-hug, all bunny smile and shit 
  • if you are a smol he will stand tall when you want to kiss him that jerk 
  • if you are a toll then he would run away from you (like, in a playful way. probably wants you to see how shyness looks like idk he’s lame)
  • he’s melting for you anyway, doesn’t matter if you’re tol or smol, because you are so cute he thinks his heart will explode or implode or both when you act all shy and stuff and sometimes he wants to tell you that your cuteness makes his heart do the thing but even if he’s cocky nochu, he’s also shy 
  • like, he would convince you to cuddle, and when he pulled you closed you made this tiny giggle or hid your face in his chest or something and wow he’s in fucking lovE
  • don’t get me wrong 
  • he’ll be cocky like 80% of the day 
  • BUT I’M STILL NOT OVER THAT CUDDLING IMAGE FML 
  • but he’s also sweet like 5% and memey 15% 
  • so he’s forgiven 
  • btw you either get that killer smirk or that big big big bunny smile but it’s good anyway i guess
  • god, please love him i swear he loves you even if he acts like an asshole he’s super cute and scared so protect that tiny lil human bean

sorry for being so aggressive but i get full of emotions when i write about kook and i wanna explode bc bruh he’s perfect wtf

~ admin alexa

  • Qrow: Winter, how's it going?
  • Winter: Well, well, well, if it isn't my least favorite drunkard.
  • Qrow: You have a list? My my, it seems you have a type.
  • Ironwood: Qrow how did you get in here-
  • Winter: And it seems you have a habit of picking fights with me.
  • Ironwood: Winter this is a private meeting. Qrow shouldn't even know-
  • Qrow: What can I say? *takes a swig* I'm an angry drunk.
  • Winter: That's going to kill you someday. You know that, right? Oh, and I suppose the alcohol might do a number on you, too.
  • Ironwood: Winter, Qrow, this is a matter of national security-
  • Qrow: That sounded like a threat. *Draws weapon*
  • Winter: You walk into my kingdom-
  • Ironwood: Your kingdom?
  • Winter: -and draw your weapon? *Draws weapon* It sounds like you're the one who's making threats.
  • Ironwood: How did he get past all the locks? This is our most advanced security system!
  • Qrow and Winter: *Commence sexually charged duel*
  • Ironwood: *Calling phone* Ozpin I thought you said Qrow was in Vale.
  • Ozpin: I lied.
  • Ironwood: Why?
  • Ozpin: He gave me a starbucks giftcard.
  • Ironwood: SERIOUSLY?
  • Ozpin: I like coffee.
the signs as andrew jackson jihad lyrics
  • aries: i hate everything you do but i'm trying really hard to not hate you because hating you won't make you suck any less
  • tarus: rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you, rejoice despite this world will tear you to shreds, rejoice because you're trying your best
  • gemini: the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night
  • cancer: i am a blank page in a notebook waiting to be filled with countless drawings of cocks
  • leo: i like telling dirty jokes, and i like smoking crystal meth, but darling i love you
  • virgo: you don't know your own power, you don't know what you're worth, you don't recognize your valor, and until you do, nothing you do will matter
  • libra: i would finally meet my maker, i could meet the great creator, and i'd punch him for teaching me how to sing
  • scorpio: in this life we lead, we could conquer everything, if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning
  • sagittarius: hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping
  • capricorn: in fucking fact, mrs. robinson, the world won't care whether you live or die
  • aquarius: i wish i had a bullet big enough to kill the fucking sun, i'm sick of songs about the summer, and i hate everyone
  • pisces: i'll never fix your car, or find you another dead end job, so let's lay on this carpeted floor and draw with crayons

xix | cooing at the devil

i. so this is how a river dries
to reveal a cracked, sad earth
too chalky to bury the dead in—
the sun takes it.

ii. i’m on the verge of knowing him well
his tendencies float into my lap
and nestle in: it feels like love.
this i must handle with care—

iii. if i brush against his thoughts
he snaps turtle doves at the neck,
tossing them leaking into my arms
leaving me dirty with darkness.

iv. witch! he says, if you continue
to slather me with this shit,

i will certainly explode,

you’ll kill me—

v. doves do cry when strangled;
they actually shed tears—
did you know?