you're in your adult life now

Heathers starters:
  • "Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw."
  • "My teen-angst bullshit now has a body count."
  • "Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs."
  • "The extreme always seems to make an impression."
  • "What is your damage, _____?"
  • "That 'what a cruel world, let's toss ourselves into the abyss' type of ambience."
  • "The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is heaven."
  • "Did you have a brain tumour for breakfast?"
  • "I say we just grow up, be adults and die."
  • "Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch?"
  • "Now that you're dead, what are you gonna do with your life?"
  • "Some people need different kinds of convincing than others."
  • "She's my best friend. God, I hate her."
  • "Nice guys finish last, I should know."
  • "If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being."

allura-of-altea  asked:

hey, this is for Minty. I'm an anti, but right now i'm contacting you as a concerned adult who has seen your type of behavior before. You don't have to stop shipping sheith, I think it's toxic but honestly my main concern is real life minors like yourself. Right now it seems like the people around you are grooming you into thinking adult/teen relationships are ok so long as the teen is 'mature' enough. i've seen you say that you're 'practically an adult' which is concerning

i’m reaching out because I really want to help you. I know these messages will probably be ignored/brushed off but I have to try. I’m not saying that your fellow shaladin shippers are pedophiles, or anything of the sort, they probably don’t even realize what they’re doing. I’ve seen this happen before, telling a teen that they’re mature for their age, that they’re practically an adult is so normalized especially in fandom where adults/teens interact a lot.

but that doesn’t mean what they’re saying isn’t harming you. That doesn’t mean some other won’t predator will take advantage. you’re in a situation that’s very dangerous right now, and you should leave it. Continue to ship what you want but cut yourself off from anyone who tries to convince you you’re basically an adult. reach out to adults outside of fandom and let them know what’s being said to you. this is so important. I hope you at least think about what i’m saying.

I became an anti not because I am a minor or a CSA survivor but because i’ve seen fandom used to groom teens into entering unhealthy relationships with adults. My concern isn’t the fictional characters in adult/teen relationships but rather the minors in the fandom like yourself who i’ve SEEN get abused. I don’t care what you’ve said or done, you don’t deserve that no one deserves that. At the very least you should think critically about why someone would try to convince you you’re an adult.

there’s nothing else I can say other than I truly hope you seek out an adult outside of fandom to help you through this. and I hope you realize that the way this fandom portrays sheith and other adult/teen relationships isn’t how they are in real life. They aren’t happy and healthy, they’re abusive. It’s not worth the risk. whatever you decide, I hope you don’t get hurt.

ok ma’am. i’m going to start this off simply. there’s no need for help.

now, from your first paragraph with that “practically an adult”, when did i ever say that.

i’m going to teach you something: there’s no fun in being an adult.

what? you’re gonna get to drink and drive? then pay bills, taxes for bombs, having to see money go by. probably struggle some times. maybe get a shitty job here or there.

ma’am, i’m not rushing to be an adult. ive stated that being a teenager is to get ready to be an adult. there’s still many things i have to learn and experience and i know that. you shouldn’t be concerned if you haven’t read what ive said correctly

this fandom isn’t “grooming” me into thinking this or that. i know when im ready to have a relationship with anyone. it’s under my control. i know if the relationship is toxic, bounce the fuck out.

this fandom, is a fandom. it’s not a lifestyle, it’s a place where i can jump in with some friends and share tasty art and fics. nothing is damaging me because at the end of the day, it’s a fictional show for a fandom. so away with that.

“im not saying you or your shaladin shippers are pedophiles but they probably dont know what they’re doing.” no, they know what they’re doing. they’re shipping two characters together. end of story. its a character in fandom space, we can change ages, we can change stories for the fun of it. (aging up, au’s.) there’s no morals being tugged. just do whatever you want. if someone is uncomfortable, tag and tell em about blacklisting. blacklisting is the way to go most of the time.

now to the third one, i don’t think you understand how much i know. is it because i’m 15? look, i said this before, im a social junkie. ive seen toxic relationships no matter what age. no one is grooming me, im choosing what i want to see. not that hard to understand. just like how you might enjoy the popular ship k/ance, you would like to see it. (which has a mass amount of nsfw for it being underage kids but lets not talk about that ;) )

“i’ve seen fandoms groom kids into unhealthy relationships with adults.” three words: manipulation, fandom moms. when someone says “hey i like this too!”, you’re obviously going to strike up a conversation with them, correct? this is simply how they get minors with them. “that cool dude likes the same content as i do? awesome!” then they interact more and have that bond like any other normal person.

it just gets concerning when they start suggesting weird things to do. (start up discourse, ask for any nsfw content, etc.) 

look, thats the least of my problems, i can detect bullshit from a mile away, you got nothing to worry about my friend.

“there’s nothing i can say except i hope you contact an adult outside of the fandom.” wym, i see my mom everyday, she’s my ride or die. lmao wouldn’t me contacting and adult outside of the fandom backtrack what you said about adults in general? 

to wrap this up, i dont think you got the answers you wanted. what you probably wanted was a “omg im so sorry, ill listen to you ok!” which won’t leave my fingertips anytime soon. yallah my dude.

anonymous asked:

"remove toxic people out of your life" Me for the past 11 years: "I'm trying!" Everyone else: "Hey! Family is important! Get back to your parents!" Me: "But I don't want to, they're toxic people!" Everyone else: "You don't know what you're talking about, you ungrateful little kid!" I'm an adult now, can I please be taken seriously? I'm just tired of this.

I think some people just don’t understand that not everyone has a good relationship with their parents…
People say: “Well they’re you’re parents of course they care!” However that isn’t always the case. It makes me really sad because I’ve met so many people who have come from toxic and/or abusive home environments, but they aren’t always taken seriously because they’re the child.
I think we as a society need to realize that ANY relationship can be harmful and unhealthy. Not just a romantic/sexual relationship. All relationships: friends, parents, siblings, grandparents, co-workers.. You name it..

Overall I just hope you have the courage to do what’s best for your own life.

anonymous asked:

has anyone ever given you crap for being an adult in fandom? if so, how did you deal with it? (wondering because I've been dealing with a lot of folks harassing me over my age lately and was wondering if you had any advice/encouragement to offer. understand if you don't want to answer though since I know you're not an advice blog, haha)

It’s never happened to me, but of course now I’ve probably jinxed it. ;p

Since I don’t have first-hand experience with this sort of harassment, I’m not sure what the best course of action is other than ignoring/blocking anyone who’s taken it upon themselves to be a turd in your direction. 

When I was a teen back in the dial-up days, I accepted adults as the main bulk of my early fandom and online life as a matter of course, so I don’t know where this “kick several generations of people who built the playhouse out of the playhouse” attitude came from. Maybe some folks are laboring under the false belief that once they hit some arbitrary age everyone morphs into Adults who only have acceptable, pedestrian interests like interior decorating and golf. Boy, are they in for a surprise, huh? (Sorry, kids, but if you’re a dork now you’re gonna be a dork for the rest of your life. That’s just how it shakes out. Judgey adults, I’m sorry your lives are so bland and joyless. Have fun at the next Tupperware party.) Or, in the case of teens, maybe they’re still immersed in a world where most of the adults surrounding them exist to serve them in some way (i.e. parents, teachers, etc.) and they’re not sure how to handle a social space where adults are peers rather than caretakers, and a few “I like it therefore it is Mine and Meant For Me” toddler meltdowns ensue until they literally and figuratively grow up. I dunno. I try not to be too uncharitable, but since I had pretty much the opposite attitude at their age I can’t really wrap my head around where they’re coming from. And adults who truly think they’re only allowed to enjoy things in the socially prescribed way, by passively vegging out in front of the TV but not actually engaging with what they’re taking in, might as well be from Mars. I really don’t get it. 

Anyway, this was a ramble. My uninformed advice: type a really zippy message where you tell them to go piss up a rope in a very eloquent way, delete the message, block them if possible and move on with your day. Maybe write a fic or something out of spite. What are they gonna do about it?


A non-request original fic about childhood friends, drunk parents, and Van McCann.

You had moved away from your childhood town when you were only thirteen years old. Picking everything up and relocating was terrifying, but you loved your parents and were excited to live somewhere sunnier than Llandudno. They were always bound to keep ties to the place though. They were as thick as thieves with Mary and Bernie. All the late nights by the fire place wouldn’t be easily forgotten by your parents. All the wine consumed and all the loud conversations you and Van listened to from the other side of the wall when you were meant to be asleep couldn’t mean nothing.

Every now and then your parents flew back to see them, or they would fly to you. Flights were cheapest in the school term, so you never went with. You grew up and forgot what it was like to be in the McCann’s warm, musical home. You didn’t think about Van or any part of the seaside village. Going off to uni, establishing your own life, it took precedence over any attempt at immortalising a beautiful part of your childhood.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Percy age 17: " is for grown-ups! It tastes horrible and could seriously mess up your life. Don't even be tempted until you're at least forty years old!" Excerpt from Percy Jackson's Greek Gods (p.383) I could've sworn I heard you we're drinking beer from what I heard in this blog. Would you like to explain yourself, Perseus?

Percy: HEY, I’M AN ADULT NOW.  DON’T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE.  I have three beautiful boyfriends to protec me

Question for fellow SU Criticals (cuz I’m curious)

Steven Universe has long since ended. You grew up and moved on with your life. You now have a job and maybe a spouse and kids too. I can’t know, but however your life is, you’re pretty content with it.

You go to work one day and your co-workers are happily chatting about the past. Today’s topic: cartoons they used to watch. One of them mentions Steven Universe and they all remember it as a good show that always got a smile out of them. What do you say to them? Will you keep quiet about being a SU Critical? Will you tell them anyways? If so, will you go deep in detail as to why this show wasn’t as good to you as it was for them?

  • Hook: this isn't working, Regina you are so useless
  • Regina: shut up, I don't see YOU being able to use dark magic!
  • Hook: well I have a better idea!
  • Regina: your idea sucks!
  • Hook: I'm gonna do it anyway!
  • Regina: oh look it went horribly wrong and you're an idiot!
  • Hook: am not!
  • Regina: are too!
  • Snow: ENOUGH
  • Snow: you and you, stop with the squabbling, right now. We're going to find Emma and we're going to do it like adults, without stupid arguments.
  • Hook: fine
  • Regina: fine
  • Hook *muttering*: you suck
  • Regina *muttering*: no YOU
Leo Messi for FC Barcelona
  • FCB: You're 27 years old, you're an adult now and you're living your best moment as a professional football player. That young man who arrived at La Masia being 13 years old is now the best player in the world... How do you feel looking back at it?
  • Leo: In the sporting aspect I don't feel like stopping to look back, because everything happens so fast, there are always games to play, there are always new heights to reach so I don't look back. I actually do that in my personal life, when I'm at home with my partner and now with our son. We [Antonela and I] have known each other since we were very young and sometimes we [just sit and] remember stuff that we've experienced and we realize how time goes on, how much we've grown up, how life goes by. In the professional aspect it's more difficult so I think that until my career is over I won't be able to stop and actually realize what I've accomplished as a football player.
  • FCB: Your son, Thiago, is two years old already. You have experience being a Father now, how did paternity change your life? Did it help you to become more mature? Does that reflect on the way you play now?
  • Leo: Change, it changed everything. First of all, my way of thinking. He comes first, and the rest after him. He also changed the way I see games. Before, every time I lost or did something wrong I didn't speak to anybody for three or four days until I was able to calm down. Now I lose a game, I get home and I see my son and I just let it go and I feel fine. The anger is still there inside of me, but then I see him and I just calm down. Being a Father helped me to grow up as a person. It helped me to not go crazy over football and it made me realize that there are other things in life that are important too.
  • FCB: You show a lot more lately on social networks, as if the happiness in your personal life made you want to share those moments with the entire world...
  • Leo: Yes. There are also a lot of people that pay attention to my life, inside and outside the pitch. I actually don't like to show my son, my family or my partner a lot but I do it once in a while as a gesture to those [fans] who are always there with me, during the good and the bad times.
  • "You don't go Jessica Simpson when you've got Rihanna."
  • "You seem so calm. Are you a murderer?"
  • "She will go Wolverine on your ass."
  • "This year, I'm loving someone who deserves me. Me."
  • "You decide to tell me that with your flaccid dick in my mouth?"
  • "If you're not building a future, it's because you don't believe there is a future."
  • "Yeah I said stupid twice, only to emphasize how stupid that is!"
  • "I know something about loving people who aren't smart enough to be loved back."
  • "Husbands are overrated. They're as useless as children."
  • “I like privacy, but not alone privacy.”
  • "I am feeling so single today."
  • "My life is sad and small and a burden to those I love."
  • "People die and you don't get that moment back."
  • "All problems are boring until they're your own."
  • "This kind of death, this slow invisible disappearing into nothing, it's terrifying."
  • "I'm an adult. It gives me the right to make bad choices."
  • "If I would've seen him, I don't know, may have felt like closure. But we don't get a lot of that in this life now, do we."
  • "You're a horrible person but you are still sexy as hell."
  • "At the end of the day, you are a garden rose and that bitch is a weed."
  • "Can't trust a bitch don't smile with her teeth"
  • "My brain will always be there for you, thinking things so you don't have to."
  • "Another layer of icing on a shit cake doesn't make it taste good."
  • "Sometimes people just don't wanna play with you and that's okay."
  • "The thing about reality is it's still there waiting for you the next morning."
  • "You're one Cheerio in the bulk box of life."
  • "Next time, just sit on her face. It shuts her right up."
  • "I wanna taste what you taste like."
  • "You ever think about Jay Z and Beyonce fuckin'?"
  • "My therapist says, 'Yesterday is history. Tomorrow's a mystery.'"
  • "You got one fucked up perspective on the world, kid."
  • "No offense but men being on charge hasn't ever done me any good."
  • "Why are we punishing ourselves when we're already being punished? That doesn't make sense."
  • "It's like the less time you got the slower it goes."
My Dad got annoyed because I brought a dinosaur onesie and started giving me a lecture...

‘Kayleigh, you’re nearly eighteen now, you need to start living life like an adult -' 

'Kayleigh, soon you’ll be living on your own at university. You need to learn how to be independent -' 

'Kayleigh, you need to stop putting up Christmas decorations - it’s November 1st -“ 

  • Me: Donald Trump supporters literally have me fearing for my life and for the lives of all LGBT/POC/immigrants/women and hate crimes are going to go up drastically now that Trump supporters have basically been given the white supremacist's approval to spread prejudice across the nation. Hate crimes are bound to go up and I am legitimately terrified for my life.
  • Literal adult men coming at my on my dash right now for me simply expressing my fears: Stupid libtard. Are you afraid now because you're not in your safe space? Are you...triggered? Haha Top Kek

Hey there Nathan, 

one year already since the last time I had to write you something for your birthday and cried my eyes out because you were 20. I'm so mad at you for getting older, it frustrates me and ugh. To be honest, that's why I don't like your birthdays. Cause you're getting older and older. Can you stop for a minute and find some vampire to bite you so you'd stop growing or become Peter Pan? If anything, I'll always imagine you as Peter Pan. You're a beautiful young soul and we'll get to your looks along the text. So, you're officially 21 now. That's a huge number for United States and everyone will start treating you like an adult that's why I'll tell you few things how to live like an adult (ironically I'm still a teen); pay for your bills, don't drink too much, don't give a fuck and live your life. You're my idol since forever and I would really like if you would continue being that for the rest of my life. Me and tons of other people need someone to look up to and you're that someone. I just wanna let you know not to change for anything or anyone because you are perfect just the way you are. What's the point of you telling us, your fans, to love ourselves when you're insecure? It doesn't make sense. Even if you have flaws, they make you perfect and special. There's no point of being someone else and trying to be like someone else. Be yourself, because everyone else is taken. Let me tell you few things that will make me sound extra cheesy but they're true; your smile lights up the whole world and makes everything tons of times more better, your green eyes are pure look into heaven, your sloth-ish nose is the cutest thing in the world and it gets even more cuter when you get shy or mad, your blushed cheeks are a thing to die for, seriously now, your body is a wonderland, I swear to God it is and you should really see it because it's so beautiful and amazing, your piano skills are heaven to my and everyone else's ears, your voice is bundle of passion and sex, your laugh is a mix of adorableness and it makes me blush every time I hear it, your swearing drives my crazy like seriously you do not understand, your hip thrusting during your preforming is god of stripping to be fucking honest, your personality is an angel. Nathan, I love you so damn much and I hope you'll continue being an amazing person as you always were and I hope you'll learn how to love yourself because we love you more than you think.
Yours truly, Antonia

Happy 18th Birthday, Dee! ♥

You are one of the greatest, funniest, sweetest and kindest girls (*cough* women, you're an adult now *cough*) here and I'm so glad I know you. Tumblr wouldn't be the same without you. I hope all your wishes come true because you are an amazing person and deserve all the good things in life.

I love you.

- Berry :3

anonymous asked:

Consent being withdrawn mid sex isn't being picky, we teach kids that, why does it stop in adulthood? Kids tickle each other until it stops being fun? It stops. Kid plays with puppy until they accidentally get scratched? It stops. Kid gets to top of high dive then decides it's too much? They get to come back down. No questions asked. They might get made fun of, but no one misunderstands that consent stops when you're done, no matter when, until it comes to your sex life.

You’re right.

I think right now there is a slow shift in perception as more people recognize that the lessons we teach our children today will be applied to their life choices as adults.  Many of us learned growing up that our voices, wants and needs didn’t matter as much as those of people in perceived positions of authority.  This happens implicitly (children naturally being expected to defer to adults) and explicitly (being forced to hug/kiss relatives etc).

Learning bodily autonomy at a young age helps children to discern what they want and also encourages them to share their thoughts and feelings.  It gives them a better sense of themselves and reminds them that how they feel is important and shouldn’t be trumped by rules, expectations or manners.

My hope is that as more parents, teachers and others learn these lessons and apply them to their interactions with children, future generations will grow more confident in their ability to express their wants and desires, including if and when sexual contact takes place.  Giving them confidence now gives them a voice for later and hopefully takes away some of the shame or guilt that currently comes with asking for what one wants or needs. 

It’s a long road to the kind of change that will make a difference, but it’s encouraging to see more people becoming aware of these concepts and incorporating them into their own lives as well as furthering the global and local discussions about what consent means for both children and adults.


anonymous asked:

so like, who has my medical records? like if I'm going to a new doctor for a checkup for the first time as an adult (instead of a pediatrician) will they have my info in the computer? like when you're a kid obviously it's all mysterious and opaque and you just go along with it. now as an adult I'm like, I know i legally have a right to medical privacy but I dont actually know what my private medical info is

Unless you’ve been going to the same medical organization for everything for your entire life, no one really has your complete medical records.

At least in the US, there is no “your medical records”–only the records that a particular facility or practitioner keeps.  There’s no centralization, and most of the communication between facilities is done by paper or fax.  (The Affordable Care Act is supposed to change this eventually, but definitely hasn’t yet.)  So every healthcare provider you’ve been to has some sort of record on you, but none of those records are synchronized with each other.

So no, a new doctor will not have your info in the computer.  You will need to give them contact information for your old doctor, and then the old doctor’s secretary will fax (or possibly mail) your information to the new doctor’s secretary, who will enter it into their system by hand.

…yes, it’s goddamn Paleolithic, and yes, this does affect the safety and quality of your care.

anonymous asked:

You sound like a compete whiny baby right now! You're an adult. No one is going to take care of u but YOU! Grow a pair and deal with your shit instead of blogging about how awful your life is. I'm sure you have plenty to be grateful for, which is what you need to try to take into consideration. I know life gets tough but seriously, you're a full grown adult, and you sound like a 6 year old. Get over yourself and WORK for a good life! u can't just whine and expect things to change, u deal with it

People like you are the reason people keep things bottled up and let it eat away at them. If you don’t want to see what I post, don’t follow me, it’s that simple. I’m not a whiny baby. I’m a person using MY OWN BLOG to talk about MY OWN LIFE which happens to be very difficult at the moment. You honestly have no idea what’s going on in my personal life. Everyone thinks that if you post a selfie or a screenshot of a funny conversation or a video of you at the gym, that your life is perfect. It’s not that black and white. Do not tell me to go “WORK for a good life” when I wake up every single morning and literally work my ass off. I work so much and so hard that I don’t even have time to deal with the things in my personal life nor do I have the opportunity to actually feel my emotions because I’m always going. What’s your idea of a good life? A job? A salary? A relationship? Yeah, those are great and that’s what I’m working toward on a daily basis but guess what…a paycheck is going to fix my depression or the fact that I’ve wanted to commit suicide more times in the last month than my entire life. A part job job will help me pay the pills but its not going to fix the fact that I have so many family issues going on right now that I get physically sick just thinking about it. I know I have a lot to be grateful for and I remind myself of them on a daily basis because if I didn’t, I’d probably be dead. But even having good things in your life and appreciating them doesn’t make you immune to shit getting hard. I didn’t say my life was “awful.” I expressed that I was upset that I had NO ONE to turn to when I needed to and I will NOT feel bad about that because it is a basic human need to have someone you can fucking rely on. Being an “adult” has nothing to do with it. I get up every morning and do what I need to do to get through the day, to be one step close to my degree and my career and a life and if the only thing that helps me feel better is making a text post on my blog about the fact that things are hard, then you can fuck yourself ten times over because I’m going to do it. I don’t give a shit if you care about me or not, but please, have some fucking compassion for the things going on in the lives of those around you. If your life is so great that you can look down on others, then congratulations to you. But if you want to help someone, truly help them, don’t kick them when you know they’re down. 

juliwt  asked:

Hi, this is probably a weird/dumb(/maybe rude but I so hope not) question, but you're doing your Bachelors, right? I am 22 now and applying for uni next year (I'll start at 23, finish at 26/27), and I have v.v.v. mixed feelings about being that old when I graduate (4 years after everyone I know and 2 after my baby sis). Is it a dumb thing to worry about, being An Adult but still a student? I can't reconcile my Adult Life I Want with Being Stuck at Uni Doing What Everyone Else Did Years Ago. 1/2

I don’t mean to ask your life story or anything like that, I just don’t actually know anyone else to ask? I guess maybe I am just doing the “it’s fine, right?” as in, I know it’s fine, it is fine, but it’s fine, right? thing. I have dropped out twice before and I’m really scared of doing it again (even though things are so different now and I know better and have thought more and am better prepared) and I’m scared of getting a degree and being no better off/no further forward. :/ xx 2/2

the short version is: you are fine. it is fine to be “behind” an arbitrary timetable of arbitrary designations of adulthood. it is also fine to feel weird about that, and i do, constantly, but most of all and most importantly it is fine to be where you are when you get there.

this is always true, by the way. if you were not able to do this before (i also dropped out twice), you were not able to do this before, and that is true and therefore fine. life is too short to blame yourself for things that were hard, although it is a difficult habit to break. life is also, actually, kind of long, and, well: my blog title (very filled with dreams) is taken from a louise gluck poem – the full line is “life is very weird, very filled with dreams” – that ends:

I thought my life was over and my heart was broken.
Then I moved to Cambridge.

here is another louise gluck poem that may be of use to you, if solace in poetry is your sort of thing. it is not mine, except for every poem louise gluck has ever written (and FINE a little sylvia plath).

a cool thing about being in your late twenties is realizing that being in your early twenties, and, also, being in your late twenties, actually means that you are very, very young. this is extremely difficult to believe when you are 22! i don’t try to convince people of it who don’t believe it yet, because it’s kind of obnoxious and condescending considering i am also a baby, and it is also sort of like conservation of liquids i.e. a thing that can only be learned from experience and the strange indifferent miracle of time. but i mention it to you as someone who has shared similar concerns because it has helped me to think of how much time i have ahead of me. it has helped to think that i may feel behind now but honestly probably eventually i will not. eventually it will stop mattering to me how long it took me to get to wherever i am when that happens. it has already started to matter less, if you will believe it. i have a useful example in my mother, who did not divorce her abusive husband until her early thirties, and a few years after that dropped out of a phd program in a field where she had, actually, excelled. now she is a massage therapist who runs community meditation sessions and is dating a man with an earring and multiple tattoos. absolutely she could never, ever, ever have foreseen this, 33 years old and long used to existing in devastation and deeply opposed to men with earrings.

did you know that you cannot predict the future? isn’t that strange to really believe? isn’t it scary but also marvelous?

i will also say, although perhaps i still would have preferred to get things done quicker, in addition to the fact you can’t change the past, i really do think i have gotten a lot more out of college as an educational experience, even with all my terrible habits, than i would have when i was younger. interestingly this has been the case of most people i have talked to with similar backgrounds. there are many valuable things to be learned from Book Learning but Book Learning, i have found, is often more valuable when you have something else to bring to the conversation in your head with the books. you have been doing a lot of learning, whether you know it or not, and it is my suspicion and my hope that that will make itself more apparent to you as you go on. (i mean………like……….the difference between me after just one year off and the people in my sociology classes at a Fancy Institution……….not to brag because this is honestly a VERY low bar………..but like…………………..)

you are already fine. i hope you will feel more fine. it is a struggle and a process! it has been helpful to me to commit to believing it even when i don’t believe it. it has been helpful to me to commit to believing in it as a process even when i don’t believe in it as a process. some tools i have found of use: advice columns, particularly dear sugar and ask polly; journaling even when i do not feel i have much to say; latching on to things that i can use to tweak the story i tell myself about myself (vita nova, one direction, iron man 3, human - cher lloyd dot mp3), even if they seem very, very stupid; creating–this came as a surprise to me and only retroactively–creating things i could look at and say, “this is a thing on which i worked hard, this is a thing that was possible because of all the life i have lived, this is a thing that i made because i wanted it to exist” (britney week being chiefest among these); tumblring about these things and finding that in none of them am i unique; talking to people–this is scary and hard and not always possible! but for me–talking to people i love and just saying, like, “i feel weird about this,” “isn’t time bizarre,” “do you also feel scared,” both the act of saying it aloud and noticing the world has not ended, and the way that moment reminds me that no one cares as much about this as i do, it does not have to be the sole defining feature of me, i do not have to wear it like (sorry) a scarlet letter.

you are fine. it is fine. and, would you believe it? in some ways–in particular aspects of the concept of fine, in a way (i want to be clear about this) that does not contradict all the ways you have not felt fine and all the ways life has not been fine for you and things have happened which were not fine–in some ways it has always been.

anonymous asked:

Idk why but I feel so happy for you pursuing your passion in art. I guess because with your skill I know you're going to succeed in an art career.

thank you ;__; ive pretty much known i was going to be an artist my whole life but my fear was that i wouldnt be successful and its especially discouraging hearing from adults that artists end up broke,, not that it stopped me it just made me extremely worried about my future (and i still am)

bottom line is that i will probably be pursuing art whether i do it with a lot of money or none

ive been practicing and waiting my whole life for college and now it is all beginning to come to fruition .. . my childhood is almost gone and i am almost at a new chapter .. …….. the time which ive poured my whole self into preparing for is nearly the present