you're gone

i think something has gone bad between us again.

it happens once every couple of months.
i don’t hear from you for weeks.

there’s no reason why.
you simply stop…being.

i am always okay with it at first.
we need our space, i can deal with that.

then i get weak.
i start crying myself to sleep at night.
i stop functioning like a human being.
i start talking about you to anyone who will listen.

then i get desperate.
i start checking all your social media.
i get drunk just so i can find the nerve to text you.
i do whatever i can just to feel you on the other line.

finally, i get done.
i cut my hair and i clean myself up.
i read more and talk less.
this is usually when you come back.

you know,
i would do just about anything for you to stay.

—  letters from drake’s ex; you leave me in the morning, i don’t see her for months

Your smile is so beautiful
it made me forget I was hurting.

Now your smile is gone and the pain caught up with me.

-k.t. (Feb 18, 2015, 8:31p.m.)

—  I wrote this 4 days after our first date and it didn’t actually make sense; I didn’t ever want it to. But now here we are. And it couldn’t be more relevant.