@stammi-ravioli submitted: Im slightly late getting on the crop top train but I’m trying my best to start drawing so I figured I may as well ((I don’t have anything to color so have a shitty red outline lmao. Also sorry for the bad quality pic))
I don’t think it’s “cute” when boys get possessive over me, and here’s why:
When I was fourteen I watched two grown ass men fight with guns and knives over who would get to fuck me legally the day I turned 18.
I walked away that night feeling flattered that they were fighting over me. I didn’t realize the seriousness of what I had just witnessed. I was too naive to believe that one of them would actually hurt me. He was seven years older than me when he took my virginity and continued to use me until I turned 15 and finally got up the nerve to say I was leaving.
He got angry with me when I decided to leave. He got violent and told me I wasn’t allowed to see anyone until I turned 18 and he could have me again.
To get back at me for leaving him he told my next ex boyfriend where I lived and how to find me at any time of the day.
So for the next few weeks I received text messages from my ex asking me why I wasn’t responding when he could clearly see my car parked in my own driveway. He would come visit me at work and make sure I wasn’t flirting with anyone-even though him and I were done.
When I was seventeen I fell in love with a man who thought I belonged to him.
Before we were even dating, every time I’d remind him that he didn’t own me, he’d get angry and he would start threatening to leave. But I thought I loved him so I started staying silent. I let him hold on to me too tightly when we were in public together and got used to staying quiet any time another guy was around.
He would get so angry when I didn’t want to have sex with him because he thought that he owned me and that I should do whatever he wanted. He started punching walls and banging his head into things when I said I didn’t want to have sex. He would get so violent and angry that I’d end up giving in to him and letting him have what he wanted. He had my mind so twisted that I thought this type of behavior was okay. He reminded me that he’d never actually laid a hand on me so everything he was doing was acceptable.
He would yell at me if I tried to look pretty. He would tell me I wasn’t allowed to look that nice because my body was only for him to enjoy. He would yell at me for wearing crop tops even in the sweltering heat of august. He would threaten me while he watched me put on my makeup because he thought I was getting too dressed up for someone other than him.
I missed out on countless opportunities to go to the movies or the beach or do anything with my friends because I wasn’t allowed to go without him. He thought I belonged to him and he wouldn’t let me leave without telling him exactly where I was going.
He hated me when I wanted to spend time with my family and once when I went out to coffee with my best friend, I checked my phone towards the end and I had more missed calls and messages than minutes I’d spent with her.
I went on a family vacation to the lake and he would get mad at me every single day because I would not allow him to drive the six hours to see me. He would get angry with me because I would not tell him the name of the lake because I was afraid he was actually going to drive all that way when I got too busy with my family to answer his messages.
The time that I spent with my best friend got less and less when I was with him because he wanted to keep me all to himself.
She couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t just leave him, but every time I tried he would threaten to take his own life or even mine.
When I did finally break up with him, he spent nights crying on my doorstep and mornings sitting outside my bedroom window. He would show up at my work and wouldn’t let me do my job until I promised to call him when I was off.
He ended up in the hospital because I finally refused to keep in contact with him. He was so hysterical over the fact that I said I didn’t belong to him that he slit his wrists.
He threatened me and my friends and my family when he found out I’d moved on.
So no, I don’t think it’s “cute” when boys get possessive over me.
I’m careful about who I spend my time with now.
Sure, a little jealousy comes normally but I won’t let a boy get possessive with me.
As soon as he starts mentioning things that I’ve learned should make me uneasy I’m leaving his ass behind me.