you're both idiots and i love you

“Still with the revolvers,” Murphy said, shaking her head. She drove past the street leading to the storage units and went one block past it instead before she turned and parked. “When are you going to get a serious gun?”

“Look,” I said, “just because you’ve got twice as many bullets as me-”

“Three times as many,” Murphy said. “The SIG holds twenty.”

“Twenty!? Look, the point is that-”

“And it reloads a lot faster. You’ve just got some loose rounds at the bottom of your pocket, right? No speed loader?”

I stuck the gun back in my pocket and tried to make sure none of the bullets fell out as we got out of the car. “That’s not the point.”

Murphy shook her head. “Damn, Dresden.”

“I know the revolver is going to work,” I said, starting toward the storage park. “I’ve seen automatics jam before.”

“New ones?”

“Well, no…”

Murphy placed her own gun in the pocket of her light sports jacket. “It’s a good thing you’ve got options. That’s all I’m saying.”

“If a revolver is good enough for Indiana Jones,” I said, “it’s good enough for me.”

“He was a fictional character, Harry.” Her mouth curved up in a small smile. “And he had a whip.”

I eyed her.

Her eyes sparkled. “Do you have a whip Dresden?”

I eyed her even more. “Murphy… are you coming on to me?”

  • THAT person/friend: *walks in* Oh hey, what's up? What're you doing?
  • Me: Uhh, browsing Klance. What does it look like? *thou should leave, peasant.*
  • THAT friend: Oh ew! So you're an anti?!? Freak!
  • Me: *you.. have my attention now...* W-what?!? No! Why would you think I'm an anti??
  • THAT friend: Well everyone knows that the Klance fandom is filled with antis. Klance is overrated anyway. But you wouldn't understand. You're an idiotic anti!!
  • Me: HEY!! Klance may be overrated, but that doesn't stop me from shipping it. I really love this ship, but that doesn't mean I'll attack others for not thinking the same!! Shipping is for fun and it's not supposed to be used as a means of threatening others.
  • THAT friend: But you don't like Sheith!!! You said so yourself!!
  • Me: Actually, I see Keith and Shiro as having a more brotherly relationship. Broganes. Besides, I HAVE in fact liked or reblogged (or both) cute Sheith stuff before.
  • THAT friend: Well, you're TOTALLY against Sh//aladin right? That's anti.
  • Me: Not EVERY relationship is a romantic one. I just see Shiro as more of a father or even idol figure to the paladins. It's still a close bond, but nothing really romantic... To be honest, I personally ship Shiro more with Allura or Matt. Shatt and Shallura are both good for the soul.
  • THAT friend: Kallura though? What do you have against THAT, HUH?
  • Me: I don't really see the chemistry there..? I mean I get that in all versions of Voltron before, Kallura was practically canon, but, in Legendary Defender I don't really see it. As I said, they're more just 'good friends' to me. That doesn't mean I have anything against the ship, it's just that I personally happen to dislike it. That doesn't mean anything though. Those who ship it can continue shipping it no problem! If it makes them happy, why would I want to take that away from them? Who am I to do that?
  • THAT friend: Well of course you're going to hate on any ship with PIDGE in it right? Because that's "pedophilia?"
  • Me: Well, no. Pidge don't need no man, nor woman. I just see her as that type of character. Her love is more of a family love. Close bonds with friends that fit into the 'you're like a brother to me' category. Lauren said herself that all ships are valid. Jut because someone ships someone else with Pidge with someone doesn't mean I'll hate on them for not having the same view point as me.
  • THAT friend: AND HUNK? Is his ass too PURE for your freaky anti shipping?
  • Me: (I'm not an anti shut upppp!!!) Well no, I more ship Hunk with Shay to be honest. I love Hunk, but he's more of a Mom Friend figure to the Voltron paladins and crew. He's sweet but I still see more of a close friendship.
  • THAT friend: Well what about Klance? Couldn't THAT be considered simply a 'close friendship?'
  • Me: Well.. yeah to be honest, it COULD. I found Klance before I found Voltron, so I guess that's just my own stupid bias. But even if I'd watched Voltron first, I would've shipped Klance, I'm sure of that. No matter what anyone says, it IS true that they even each out nicely. Just because someone else doesn't ship it doesn't mean I'll make an attempt to chop their head off, even though Klance is my OTP. If it even becomes canon, that's just an added bonus. The creators ARE leaning in that general direction right now, but heck, that could change, right? It's just my opinion and it's not gonna change, but I'm not going to hurt someone else for dissing it, even though I don't agree.
  • THAT friend: *scoff* Whatever, freak anti.
  • Me: *sigh* Listen, I don't know where you got this anti thing from, but just because some Klance shippers are anti doesn't mean ALL of them are. All ships and fandoms in general have antis, and though none of us like it, it's just a thing we'll have to deal with. All we can do is be nice and try not to bite each others' heads off, but DON'T make the mistake that everyone in a certain category must be this or that. It's not right and you have to accept that. Believe me, if I had ANY control over this discourse, I'd try to do everything in my power to at least make it better. Unfortunately, I'm just one person over the internet, so I can't do much accept sitting back, watching, and putting in my shitty opinion here and there.
  • THAT friend: ... You had to get deep, didn't you?
  • Me: Huehuehue, fuk u 2.

anonymous asked:

Just to lighten up post chap13 (I love both your Viktor and Yuuri), I was thinking how Yakov was present when Yuuri performed Eros aimed at Viktor and his reaction? *turns to Viktor* "Vitya, you're staying with us tonight" but Viktor's hardly listening so,"I'll have Georgi hold you down!" "Oh god Yakov, stop trying to cockblock me!" and Yurio faceplaming dramatically "ugh! and they call teenagers horny?! IDIOTS!" (I know this may be ooc, but I like to imagine them all overreacting comically )

There is a conversation between Viktor and Yakov after Yakov sees Yuuri wearing the Eros costume that I can’t wait to write!

anonymous asked:

I love the bitter ex husbands dynamic between walker and slaoui, honestly i don't know if i'm more excited for tram or resun, i'm a bitch for both the power of friendship and idiots who wanna murder each other but are also kind of best friends in a very sick way. Why you do this to me ad, you're killing me, you're killing this poor woman

*rubs my gay hands together* all according to keikaku

anonymous asked:

favourite ziam moments? you're such a cutie ❤️ love ya

Thank you. 😊 😘 

When I think of Ziam I always thing of this 2 moments first. Zayn in green T-shirt looking at Liam during TMH tour and Liam looking at Zayn in This Is Us interview. They look smitten.

What’s up with the chin touching/caressing?

The You and I fragrance interview. 

And this WWA hug. I don’t know why or when exactly it happened and I don’t even care. They’re so cute and they both look really happy. 

  • Mysterion: Everyone shut up and listen. I'm back and I'm taking charge.
  • Mr. Garrison: Excuse me, Mysterion, but we-
  • Mysterion: Shut the fuck up,Garrison. Yes, I know you had an election, but the results were stupid so I don't care. You idiots clearly can't be trusted with democracy until you learn how to use it responsibly. Kyle?
  • Kyle: Yes, Uh...Mysterion?
  • Mysterion: I want you to keep slapping your father across the head until his brain starts working again.
  • Kyle: My pleasure.
  • Gerald: Mysterion, I don't think that is-
  • Mysterion: Did I give you permission to speak? No, so zip it. Cartman, Heidi, you're going to form a protection circle around each other and take turns giving each other a hug and reminding each other how loved you both are. I'd do it myself but my girlfriend is the jealous type. Butters?
  • Butters: My girlfriend broke up with me.
  • Mysterion: I know and we no longer give a fuck. You're not the only one here to have lost someone so get over yourself already or I will kick your whinny, 'nice guy' fedora tipping ass. Stan?
  • Stan: Yes?
  • Mysterion: You're good as you are. Stay that way. Oh, and if any of you see the Danish, get them all to be more cautious I'm not getting sucked into that plotline. Now if you'll excuse me I need a nap.
West Side Story { Sentence Starters }
  • "Why do you kids live like there's a war on?"
  • "Do you mind?"
  • "I have no mind. I'm the village idiot."
  • "If one of you was lying in the street bleeding, I'd walk by and spit on you."
  • "You're not thinking I'm someone else?"
  • "I felt, I knew something never before was going to happen, had to happen. But this is so much more."
  • "Boy, am I a victim of disappointment in you."
  • "You heard; it's gonna be a fair fight."
  • "And that's going to cure something?"
  • "___, things aren't tough enough?"
  • "Tough? ___, I'm in love!"
  • "And you're not frightened?"
  • "Should I be?"
  • "I'm frightened enough for the both of us."
  • "I'll dig you an early grave, that's what I'll dig."
  • "I am gonna make nice with him. I'm only gonna challenge him!"
  • "I...I didn't believe hard enough."
  • "Loving is enough."
  • "Make it not be true, please make it not true!"
  • "What for? Well, that's the way it's done, buddy-boy."
  • "Every one of you hates every one of us, and we hate you right back."

anonymous asked:

Oh my God, Steph, I just realized something! In TAB, Sherlock says "Of course. Of course you do, John" which completely and absolutely mirrors "Of course. Of course you're my best friend". Both times are breakthrough for Sherlock, one about his feelings for John and the other about John's feeling for him.

OOOOHHH!! Nice catch, Nonny!! Quite possible they are very much related. Sherlock absorbs everything ‘John’ like a sponge, so I don’t think it’s far off to have him literally quoting John in his head to ‘reciprocate’ his thoughts and feelings, especially at a pivotal moment in their friendship, at least in Sherlock’s eyes.

And both times, they have stupid idiotic love-struck faces, I can’t even with this morons.


God, I’m going down with this ship.

TVD Villain Convention: Only the baddest allowed!
  • Held at Mikaelson Mansion in Mystic Falls.
  • Klaus: Well it is so nice to see so much pleasant evil faces all in one room.
  • Katherine: I don't even know why, I showed up to this lame shindig. Although I am the best looking person here.
  • Silas: Correction, sweetheart I am. After all I am the perfect male specimen.
  • Quetsiyah: It seems that the both of you narcissistic idiots are a match made in heaven.
  • Silas: Oh you're just jealous as usual.
  • Kol: I don't see what she's got be jealous about, in my eyes she's winning.
  • Rebekah: Put a sock in it all of you!
  • Elijah: What my lovely sister meant to say is that, dinner awaits us.
  • Katherine: Always the proper gentleman, Elijah.
  • Katherine then slips her arm into Elijah's and he escorts her to the dining room.
  • Silas: Go ahead you can say it.
  • Rebekah: Say what?
  • Silas: What you've been thinking since I walked through the door.
  • Rebekah: And that would be what exactly?
  • Silas (whispers in her ear): That the sight of me turns you on.
  • Rebekah: Oh please.
  • She begins to walk away towards the dining room, and he follows her.
  • Silas: It's ok the sight of me turns me on to.
  • He says as they take there seats at the long dining table.
  • Kol: Well look at that, now it's just the two of us left.
  • Qetsiyah: I'm glad that you are capable of observing the obvious.
  • Kol: You know I happen to have a thing for sexy sarcastic witches.
  • Qetsiyah: Watch it Original, I may not be able to kill you but I will make you suffer a million ways if you dare lay a hand on me.
  • Kol: Oh kinky, I like you even more.
  • Kol walks away before Qetsiyah can fry his skull, she shortly follows and takes her seat as well. Klaus takes his seat at the head of the table, and admires everyone. Damon speeds in and takes a seat as well.
  • Katherine: And who invited you?
  • Damon: I just so happen to be the first baddie to have ever existed.
  • Rebekah: Oh please.
  • Klaus: I believe you're mistaken, I'm the first baddie.
  • Damon: Nope your the original Baddie, and I was the first to start wreaking havoc, so I belong at this table just as much as you guys do.
  • Silas: Well actually I'm the original baddie considering I've been around since like the beginning of time.
  • Qetsiyah: Actually you were simply a fool, and since my revenge was the first, I would be considered to be the original "baddie".
  • Kol (winks): I always knew you were bad.
  • Qetsiyah: Of course you did fool that's the whole reason we're here.
  • Klaus: Frankly it doesn't matter who was here first, because let's face it I am the most evil.
  • Katherine & Damon: Yeah right.
  • Katherine: And what makes you so sure you're bad to begin with?
  • Damon: Um I've killed a shitload of people, all my friends included.
  • Katherine: Please, I pinned you and your brother against each other. Then i lied to you making you believe that I was stuck in a tomb for 120 years, while killing people in the process.
  • Damon: Trust me I think I remember.
  • Silas: That's nothing I left your brother at the bottom of a quarry to die over and over again. I devoured Jeremy Gilbert upon my resurrection, mind controlled little Bonnie Bennett while murdering her father. On top of that I also have a stellar death toll.
  • Damon: You know I'm staring to wonder why i haven't killed you yet.
  • Kol: The only shame here is that the Gilbert boy didn't stay dead.
  • Klaus: I think all of you seem to be forgetting that I slaughtered my own army of hyrbrids and drowned a mother all on Christmas night.
  • Qetsiyah laughs.
  • Klaus: And what exactly do you find so funny, love?
  • Qetsiyah: Well where do I start? All of you think you're pure evil, when you're not. Damon you think you're villain but drown your guilt in alcohol and will fight to avenge someone who did right by you. Katherine you may have pined to brothers against each other, but in reality you are a mother whose been on the run for years just trying to survive. Silas you're just an idiot who wanted to be with the woman he loved forever.The Mikaelsons are just one fucked up family who have mommy and daddy issues, and all yearn to be loved.
  • Klaus: You forgot one person love, yourself or do you think yourself better than the rest?
  • Qetsiyah: Well I'm just a women scorned. None of us are pure evil we have all been driven to do psychotic things because of love, and if you are capable of love then you are capable of redemption.
  • Kai strolls in and takes a seat parallel to Klaus.
  • Klaus: And who the hell are you?
  • Damon: That is a disgusting sociopath that just so happens to be on the top of my kill list.
  • Kai: I'm flattered Damon, really. And you can call me Kai.
  • Elijah: And what are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking?
  • Kai: Well this is the villain convention?
  • Rebekah: Yes, so once again what are you doing here?
  • Kai: Apparently I'm a sociopath, so I figured this my place to be. Plus I heard there was going to be free food.
  • Kol: And what evil deeds have you done?
  • Kai: Well i wouldn't call them evil, I call them fun. I slaughtered my entire family when I was young, and I plan on slaughtering a coven of witches plus I have this one girl prisoner, Bonnie. Do you know her? Anyways I get to torture everyday and I absolutely love the sound of her screams. Now please tell me you have some jam!
  • Everyone: ....
  • Damon: Don't you ever lay a hand on Bonnie again.
  • Kai: Damon you're letting your goodness show through. Besides I can almost guarantee she loves it when I grab her by the neck.
  • Kol: She does have a lovely neck.
  • Kai: Yes it's the perfect width, and it makes it all the more convenient for me to choke her.
  • Qetsiyah: I stand corrected, there is no redemption for him. For he is pure evil.
  • Kai: What are you talking about I let one of my sisters live, without a spleen of course but she's alive nonetheless. But I'll take it you're giving me the highest form of flattery and about that jam I was serious.
  • everyone: ....
  • Klaus: I believe I just found a best friend!!
Text || Kendall
  • Kendall: Any guy but him apparently. It just fucking hurts that he broke all his promises, you know? He was the first guy I loved in a long time and now..
Kendall: What?!?!?! She’s crazy. You’re an amazing guy, come on. Any girl would be happy to be with you. She’s the one losing someone great here, Colt, don’t ever doubt that. It’s her loss. 
Kendall: Proposing? Shit. That sucks even more. I think we need to get drunk together. Fuck them.
  • Colton: He's an idiot. And I'd tell him that to his face. I know what you mean. But don't tell him ruin love for you. You deserve more and you deserve better once you're ready.
  • Colton: Yeah, but we've dated twice. And both times she's cheated on me. And this time was different. She wanted me to live with her, she was the one who said she wanted to build a future together. But then she cheats on me. And then doesn't even try to stop me from leaving or anything. I don't even think she's sorry about it. It just makes me wonder why I'm not good enough.
  • Colton: We really should. I could use a drinking buddy. Let's do it. Get drunk, curse their names, and then not think about them again. At least not again that night.

burningfairytales  asked:



neil and kevin continuing the competition into the morning - who’s the most effected by their hangover? NOT NEIL, THAT’S FOR SURE, HE’S GONNA GO RUN A MILE TO PROVE IT


andrew trying to help neil but neil won’t help himself ahahaha 

now i want drunk neil and kevin in public, at a bar, shooting darts and getting too into it and they would jostle each other and be at each other’s throats so desperate to win - and then a dart goes wild and hits a bar patron and the dude stomps over and tries to start a fight, but neil and kevin are both SO READY TO FIGHT, kevin because he’s been losing and neil because his middle name is “FIGHT ME”

(but actually though the fluff at the end KILLED ME. andrew’s small little acts of sheer sweetness - HE SO WOULD. he’d leave a trashcan by neil that night so neil wouldn’t make a mess if he got sick, water and aspirin in the morning, stroking neil’s hair as he leans blurrily against the toilet in the morning, so hungover. making coffee, taking a sip and proclaiming it “shit”, then handing it to neil. neil noticing that it has just the amount of cream and sugar in it that neil likes… andrew, babe, you are fooling no one.)

anonymous asked:

about the post you made of jace and alec. you talking about the book or show? causebook!jace and book!alec arent horrible to eachother (which annoys me about the show). they're both acting like idiots in the show for drama value or whatever, which sucks. (i dont like the show, but i love the lovely cast). i dont like show!jace or even show!alec. ptsd symptoms are important though you're right. book!jace handled it differently. show!jace is about as deep as a kiddie pool tbh. and alec is ooc. x

Theres a book?

Lover's Walk
  • Willow: Hey guys! Thanks for getting involved in my love life, that was super cool and mature of you! Oh, and since you're both clearly idiots, I should probably let you know I'm being sarcastic!
  • Xander: Hey guys! Thanks for taking ugly Willow out of the palm of my hand, and turning her into yet another hottie that will never get with me!
  • Spike: Hey guys! Thanks for eating all the macaroni!
  • Angel: Shut up, Spike, no one even knows what you're talking about! [to Buffy] I did eat all the macaroni. It's messed up that he knows.
  • "What do I have to offer?"
  • "Could you please drive me home?"
  • "What are we gonna do now?"
  • "It's bad news"
  • "You're lying"
  • "Who do those jerks think they are?"
  • "Is there anything you don't know everything about?"
  • "That's not suppose to be there"
  • "Please stop whatever you're doing"
  • "Have we met?"
  • "What do you know?"
  • "Just don't break anything"
  • "Beer. Bad"
  • "We're in love... We're lovers!"
  • "Whatever. Can I go?"
  • "I don't see what this has to do with me"
  • "Even if I did have a crush, they wouldn't notice me in a million years"
  • "Finally, the nightmare ends!"
  • "Even at my worst, you always make me feel special"
  • "I'm not ready for you to not be here"
  • "Do you think I chose to be like this?"
  • "I'm not the one who wanted Wind Beneath My Wings for the first dance."
  • "Don't I get a cookie?"
  • "You're a pig."
  • "I don't think much about you at all."
  • "You think I just want attention?"
  • "You know what? I was wrong. You are an idiot."
  • "Maybe I'll see you around... maybe at school since... we both go there."
  • "Gee, can you vague that up for me?"
  • "You have got some nerve coming back here."
  • "The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious."
  • "It doesn't matter. I'll still love you."
Henry Knows
  • Henry: You could've told me you know.
  • Emma: Told you what?
  • Henry: The real reason we're here.
  • Emma: What? How did you know?
  • Henry: It's pretty obvious. At least now I know why you didn't want to marry Walsh.
  • Emma: Wait....what?
  • Henry: Yeah because you're in love with Regina.
  • Emma: Why would you say that?
  • Henry: You're always sneaking off together, you both keep making excuses for the three of us to spend time together, the way you look at each other. You weren't exactly hiding it Mom. I'm 11 not an idiot and I could have taken it. I want you to be happy and Regina makes you happy.
  • Emma *in quiet realisation*: Yeah she does.
Legit Olicity Conversation
  • Oliver: So The Reverse Flash told me I'll live to be 86 and...
  • Felicity: Wow, really, he knew that? That's like 10 years over the average life expectancy, which, y'know is totally awesome and means that you'll probably live to see your grandchildren become vigilantes...
  • Oliver: *Raises eyebrows* Fe-li-ci-ty listen, I was about to say, I want to spend the 56 years I have left with you.
  • Felicity: I don't want to read too much into this but are you asking what I think you're asking?
  • Oliver: Felicity Meghan Smoak, you are my love, my partner and my best friend. You don't put up with any of my crap and your sentence fragments are adorable. So, my beautiful genius, my light, would you do me the great honour of becoming my wife?
  • Felicity: *actually speechless*
  • Felicity: Yes *throws her arms Oliver's neck*
  • *Both are wearing the most adorable idiotic grins ever!*