you're all a bunch of idiots

anonymous asked:

'I took a bunch of free condoms from health services because I could and all of them fell out of my bag and now you're staring at me weirdly' Oliness ftw

It was the first day of lab in the new semester. Of course, it had to happen on the first day of lab. In front of his pretty lab partner. Who in their right mind would bring a backpack full of free condoms to class? This idiot, Oliver bemoans as he hurriedly stuffs them back into the bag. At least most of the students had cleared out already.

His lab partner - Nessa, he recalls her name easily - looks part horrified and part intrigued, a weird expression altogether. “Are those…?”

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Sorry you had to see that.”

She waves her hand in front of her, a little too quickly, a little too long. “Whatever, its not like I haven’t seen a condom before.” He wishes he was dead when she speaks again. “Are you planning a long weekend with your girlfriend, or something?”

Fuck, I hate myself. “No! I don’t - I mean I’m not dating…anyone.” Does that sound worse? She’s probably jumping to the conclusion that he just sleeps around. 

For the first time, her cheeks turn pink with a blush. “Oh.”

“It’s not what you think,” Oliver says, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “I was at the health clinic and they were free. Just sitting there, you know? So like, I guess I thought I should just …” He tapers off, cringing at every word that has come out of his mouth.

Unexpectedly, she laughs. “Oh my god! You just stole like 2 years worth of condoms for the hell of it?!”

He shrugs, his face hot. “That’s one way to put it.”

She’s grinning at him now and his heart unexpectedly lurches in his chest. The first sign of trouble. Nessa fixes her backpack squarely on her shoulders, still giggling.  

if bts were your group project partners
  • rapmon: so what's our topic? (actually trying)
  • v: something about history
  • you: tae, we're in psychology tho
  • v: yeah that too
  • jimin: lol taehyung you're such an idiot
  • v: look who's talking
  • jimin: lol says the one who got a 15 on his english test
  • v: shut up just because you got 5 points more than me
  • jungkook: can both of you hyungs pls. i got 3 points
  • v: 3 points what the hell
  • jimin: kookie do you need me to tutor you
  • v: lol like you'd be much of a help
  • jimin: shut up you got 5 points less than me
  • yoongi: im stuck in a group with a bunch of idiots
  • rapmon: you're all idiots
  • jhope: lets be enthusiastic, guys. at least we have rapmon
  • jungkook: yay rapmon hyung
  • jhope: and we wrote our names, so at least we wont be getting a zero right
  • jungkook: yay no zero
  • v: no zero?
  • jimin: no zero
  • jhope: cheers no zero
  • yoongi: kill me
  • jin: all this brain work is getting me hungry
  • you: but we havent even started yet
  • jin: food guys lets eat
  • bts: food?
  • bts: food.
  • bts: food!
  • you: why me

anonymous asked:

I was told them leaving the EU was good because the EU was too much government control. I mean, government control is bad but what's the truth here? I'm just some american so idk much about other countries (*cough*good job american schools*cough)

lol.

lol.

okay no sorry I’m not laughing at you I’m laughing at this dumb concept of government control. first thing: let’s do away with the myth that paying taxes and having some modicum of welfare and the likes is government control, because that’s not it. government control as a BAD thing is, idk, north korea. ANYWAY.

the thing is that england - sorry to say but at this point I’m gonna be an asshole - went into the EU thinking to get all the advantages and none of the obvious downsides that come with it. I mean, now the ukip is like WELL BUT OF COURSE WE’RE STILL GETTING EU MONEY RIGHT?, at which I’d go and tell them FUCK NO YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN BECAUSE IN ORDER TO GET EU MONEY YOU HAVE TO BE IN THE FUCKING EU, never mind that they pushed to allow eastern european countries to come in so that votes from the core/mainland members would be disrupted but now they’re voting out also because they don’t want the polish immigrants LOL THE HYPOCRISY.

anyway. the EU isn’t government-controlling anything. the EU has some rules for which if you come in you have to subscribe to and some are admittedly not fun - ie quotas for food production and the likes, but in exchange you get endless benefits. EU money funds arts and universities and community projects all around the continent, EU money helps out with reconstructions/restorations of historical buildings and re-evaluating locations, EU money helps out with local economy, EU policies about people circulating allow european citizens to work in other countries without a visa which is FUNDAMENTAL FOR THEM TOO because since they are/were the only economy on the rise and most people are taught english they’d get a LOT of expatriates - like london is one fifth italians at this point… - which are a lot of their goddamned workforce. on top of that, you don’t have to pay extra money on imported goods and it costs less to trade in general, and given that they import more than they export as far as food/goods go, THEY JUST BASICALLY COMMITTED SUICIDE BECAUSE NOW THEIR INFLATION WILL BE OFF THE ROOF and the pound is already plummeting downwards. that’s like not even half of the mess that’s gonna come out of it, and they don’t understand that if all that financing is gone (like look at that article someone sent me before - for a dumb example, GOT is filmed mostly in northern ireland WITH EU FUNDING, which means that they have a shitton of jobs and tourism that rely just on that show being filmed there - if they lose that financing they also lose the sets and so on, so PEOPLE ARE FIRED and tourists are discouraged to go there because visas and so on, so just that dumb show is a blow to the local economy…) THEY ARE EQUALLY FUCKED, never mind that if all the people from europe working there are suddenly not EU citizens anymore and are considered same as every other immigrant they’ll need work visas or study visas or they won’t be able to like live there and look for work or anything, which means that they’re losing a shitton of qualified workforce and potential as well because who the hell goes there at this point? they won’t get EU students at their unis anymore and their unis will slowly die out because they already were the priciest in the entire continent and without the EU funding it’s gonna be worse and they won’t have money to fund PhD research and so on, and that’s just the basics. never mind that there’s an entire EU monetary policy that of course they didn’t fully partake in because LOL THEY WOULD NEVER LEAVE THEIR PRECIOUS POUND TO GET THE EURO but banks also invested there because within the EU there are less taxes and more incentives. the moment they’re not in the EU anymore everyone relocates their investments to the republic of ireland if they have to invest there and tbh I live for the moment the irish gnp goes off the roof and the english one plummets. all of those benefits are VERY MUCH WORTH paying the price of being in the EU, which btw the english didn’t ever do fully because britain is in the EU but with a lot of leeways (see: THEY AREN’T ACCEPTING REFUGEE QUOTAS OOOOPS BECAUSE *THEY CAN’T HAVE IMMIGRANTS* like fuck you very much) and they always pretty much were there going against general EU policies if they didn’t benefit them directly. but then LOL THE EU CONTROLS US. no, you idiots, the EU doesn’t. the EU is imperfect for sure but it’s the best we have right now and I don’t want it to fail at all and tbh at this point I just hope that scotland/north ireland/anyone else in the british union secedes and comes back to the EU and leaves them to handle that situation themselves. I want to see their country be great again thanks to the fucking commonwealth LOL SURE. *rolls eyes*

tldr: the EU doesn’t control anything and it’s more benefit than a disadvantage if everyone works for it. and people who voted to leave did it also because of a ridiculous campaign based on xenophobia and WE DON’T NEED THE IMMIGRANTS WE CAN MAKE BRITAIN GREAT AGAIN ON OUR OWN :DDDDD and lol farage went and said HE HAD NO CLUE OF THE CATASTROPHIC ECONOMICAL CONSEQUENCES THIS MORNING if I’m not wrong, soooooo. in the end leaving fucks them over way more than it fucks us over, but tbh I feel fairly disgusted because I know that them leaving is basically fucking over my generation and the next one over if not the next two or three and all because a bunch of idiots had to fall of xenophobic right wing propaganda and sorry but the british are the least who can complain about government control when they’re the country in the EU that has more fucking leeways (until now anyway) and they didn’t even bother getting into the monetary union. thanks very much really.

anonymous asked:

I've had it! I've had enough!! Enough with this fucking no girlfriend circlejerk! It's so annoying and nobody but you petulant dumbfucks finds it funny! You want to know why nonne of you has a girlfriend? You're weird people! Like for real, you all act like a bunch of creeps making weird jokes nobody would EVER get and you all look like garbage and need to learn some basic hygeine. mustyass crustyass fucking broke idiots GET. A. REAL. JOB. NOBODY. WANTS. A. BROKE. DUDE.

I-it’s j-just jokes my guy