you're a shark

Dirk and his plants

Last week I was talking about Dirk Gently’s mystery squad and how they would keep plants. Todd, for example, he’d try to take care of his plants, but in the end the only plant he can keep is a cactus. The rest just sort of.. dies a slow death.

Now Farah is very serious about plant-keeping: she has a strict schedule for watering and she always measures the amount of water that she gives. Her plants look okay and definitely aren’t like to die.

But Dirk… Dirk loves plants, first of all. But he doesn’t know very well how to take care of them… Yet somehow his plants always look great. They grow fast and look healthy, they never have yellow leafs and rarely die, if ever. How he does it? Who knows. Last week he helped an old lady and got some plant food as a thanks, so he just gave the plants that. They seemed to like it. This week he forgot to close the window when Todd showed up at his door (something about a new case? it sounded very important), and when he came back home, it had rained and the carpet was soaked but at least the plants had gotten some fresh water (except the cactus Todd gace him as a present, that one was knocked down by the Shark Kitten. But it looks like it’ll live!)

And because I loved this little headcanon so much, I decided to make some art to go with it. I hope you like!

kinda proud of this actually

might do more lineless things like this in the near future

look at snas he’s in his happy place were he can just sit and look at the stars i freaking love this nerd help me

anonymous asked:

She prefers to look at them on tv but I swam with a baby shark it was the best thing and I legit almost cried I was so happy

can i show yuo a baby shark? i’ve been goign on about it to my best friend i need to share it with the wolrd

woobegong

When You Swim in the Ocean You're Swimming with Sharks

Brock Turner is a good swimmer.
I keep seeing his smiling face on my computer screen
And I’m told
Brock Turner is a good swimmer,
A good kid who made a mistake,
A good kid who shouldn’t be judged for 20 minutes of his life.
After all,
Brock Turner is a good swimmer.

I’m struggling to put words on the page,
But I’m trying to anyways
Because it’s how I make sense of the world -
But I can’t make sense of a woman being raped behind a dumpster
And the world saying,
“Brock Turner is a good swimmer.”

Once I sat in the hallway
Of a dorm I didn’t live in
In a robe that wasn’t mine
After being abandoned in the bottom bunk of someone else’s bed
By a man who made me hate myself,
A man who used my age and my virginity to his advantage.
The thing is,

I’m a lousy swimmer.
I can’t go under water without plugging my nose.
But when I was little I had to pass a swim test
So I could go on the big kid slide
And I made it all the way across the pool.
Brock Turner would have beat me
Because he’s a good swimmer.

Once I sat outside in the rain
In the middle of the night
Talking on the phone with my best friend,
Afraid to go into my dorm.
Three men had followed me around for hours,
Saying nothing,
Only laughing.
I tried to ignore them
And they followed me to the shower.
I could hear them from behind the curtain.

I was salutatorian in high school.
They measured our skirts in front of the whole student body
And that’s when I really realized
The world’s obsession with my body.
No one wants to hear my graduation speech,
They want to see my prom pictures.
I grew up in a town
Where women don’t go to college to learn,
They go to college to get married
They go to college to meet nice boys like Brock Turner.
He is a good swimmer.

When I was afraid I was going to fail modern physics,
My mom reminded me of the swim test:
That little girl who swam across the pool to ride the big kid slide could do anything she wanted.

But it’s hard to swim when everywhere you look you’re seeing sharks.
The sharks graduate college,
They get good careers,
They have parents who love them,
And they’re good swimmers.

Every time I’ve cried for help,
I’ve heard excuses.
I’ve heard defenses.
“He’s a shark,”
I say,
“Don’t you see,
He’s coming right towards us.”
And they say,
“Wow, Brock Turner sure is a good swimmer.”

WTNV characters summed with random quotes from my brother
  • Cecil: "He looks like a NASCAR driver. A vampire NASCAR driver."
  • Carlos: "Awwww! He's a squid! A happy squid! Squid, squid, squid! Squid noises!"
  • Kevin: "The happy ones are always evil. I can accept that. I'm considering becoming evil so I can always be happy too."
  • Dana: "You're a whale shark because they're awesome. You'd be awesome as an amoeba too. You'd be awesome as a lot of things. Run for president."
  • Maureen: "I AM TRYING TO KILL YOU BUT YOU WON'T DIE. WHY DOES DEATH REPEATEDLY REFUSE TO TAKE YOU. YOU'RE NOT THAT BAD OF A PERSON."
  • Earl: "He's that guy in school everyone thought was gonna be a famous actor or something, but then became a ninja because a bad guy killed his girlfriend or something."
  • Michelle Nyguyen: "Screw the status quo. No seriously, screw it. Have sex with the status quo."
  • Hiram McDaniels: "He's annoying, and likes to think he's badass, and is full of himself, and practices cool poses in the mirror while screaming inspirational quotes at himself. He reminds me a lot of myself."
  • Faceless Old Woman: "Whenever I'm alone, I'll narrate my actions because I feel like someone's always watching me, but whoever they are they don't have good eyesight."
  • Tamika Flynn: "I just saw a cute and precious little puppy that was freaking badass and wouldn't hesitant to take your head off."
  • Janice: "I REALLY LIKE THEM AND I WANT THEIR ENTIRE WARDROBE AND MAYBE BE THEIR BEST FRIEND."
  • Steve Carlsberg: "You tell me enough about all this weird shit in the world. I'm not freaking out. This, currently happening, weird shit that the past me would freak out about, is normal."
  • Old Woman Josie: "DON'T MESS AROUND WITH GRANDMA. SHE'S SECRETLY HARDCORE AND COULD KILL US ALL AND I'M THE ONLY WHO KNOWS BECAUSE I FOUND HER HIDDEN GUN COLLECTION. I'LL SHOW YOU IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME."
  • The Erikas: "You've just ruined all of Christianity for me."