you wot mate

Language Barrier

a/n: Originally based on conversations with @egggplannt and rekindled by her post.

This is also another reason why we should not be allowed to collab. 

If you have any questions about anything said by Arthur, you’d have to ask her because honestly, I have no idea. All of Arthur’s dialogues were provided by her :^)


Alfred squinted down at his map, with the paper all crumpled and folded from being shoved haphazardly into his raincoat pocket.

He had no idea where he would go next, but he supposed the people around him would judge him less if he looked like he did.

Oh, those beady British eyes. Unwanted attention seemed to follow him every wrong turn he took, to every pole he ran into while he was too busy deciphering the winding lines and tiny print of the map. England was a dangerous, hostile, and frankly judgemental place. Nothing like the comparatively warm and welcoming arms of the U.S.A he’d left behind.

“Oh jeez-”

The wind wasn’t a help. The howling horror left him with a daunting choice and It was either the map or the umbrella. He chose the umbrella. The decision tore his only piece of sanity amongst the confusion that was England from his hands and left it soaking in a puddle at his feet.

Alfred clutched his umbrella to his chest and accepted defeat.

The Formidable Country of England: 1, Foreigner: 0.

Keep reading

Arthur doesn't fuck around when tea is involved
  • *Arthur and Alfred are sitting in a cafe*
  • Random Person: God, I hate tea! It fucking sucks!
  • Arthur: ...
  • Alfred: oh god damnit
  • Arthur: yoU WOT, MATE?!
  • Alfred: fucking shit, arthur-
  • Arthur: DID I HEAR WHAT THE BLEEDING HELL I THOUGHT I JUST FUCKING HEARD
  • Alfred: please don't do this
  • Arthur: DO YOU KNOW JUST WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE REFERRING TO MATE
  • Alfred: deep breaths dude, everything is fine...and you just tossed that chair across the room didn't you
  • Arthur: DO YOU???
  • Alfred: arthur people are staring at us
  • Arthur: YOU DARE SHUN THIS ELIXER, THIS AMBROSIA
  • Alfred: why the fuck did I think it was a good idea to date you
  • Arthur: THE LIFEBLOOD OF BRITAIN HERSELF
  • Alfred: huh, and I thought you were a guy
  • Arthur: HAVE YOU NO IDEA OF WHAT AND BY EXTENSION WHOM YOURE INSULTING MORTAL
  • Alfred: mortal, what the fuc- fuck it you've lost it, jesus fucking christ if we had a cover it'd be blown by now puT DOWN THAT GUN ARTHUR THERE ARE CIVILIANS HERE
  • Arthur: APOLOGIZE
  • Alfred: welp, we can never come back to this town thanks Artie, you're the best, I have never literally felt like dying of shame before