you wish you were this interesting

anonymous asked:

This is my first time on your blog buddy and im not criticizing you for a blog but about posting random shit about your life, is there something lacking that creates the need to share pointless events with strangers? Also, blogging publicly opens you up to comments. I commented, from the rest of your blog you don't seem immature unlike that tag. Its pretty on par with "mess with me and my daddy will sue you" "hit me and I'll own your stupid school" What would you actually have done to the school

This seems to be your first time on the Internet. Welcome! The particular website you are on is Tumblr dot com, a “microblogging site”. A blog is a series of separate, updated posts by one individual or organization, typically informal, often written as a kind of journal. Some blogs have particular themes, while others may contain content that is only loosely related. Blogs usually describe the sort of content one can expect from them in an “about” section, with phrases like “This is ultimately a personal blog - I post about my life and things that interest me.” It is reasonable to expect that the owner of that blog will likely post about their life and things that interest them.

If that sort of content alarms or upsets you, do not despair! There are many other types of websites. There are forums on which you can discuss a single subject of interest to you with strangers, sites and apps for browsing beautiful photographs, and wikis that contain publicly-editable encyclopedia entries on a nearly unfathomable breadth of topics. There are even countless websites devoted to hosting pictures, videos, and fiction broadly considered sexually arousing.

With a few exceptions, all of these websites are accessible to you to visit at your leisure. Chances are you’ll find something you like - if you’re having trouble, search engines like Google.com will help you find content relevant to your interests by searching for key words or phrases. And if you don’t like the content you find on one site? Leaving is as easy as closing the page. This freedom of passage means that interpersonal interaction is entirely voluntarily, so, if you were so inclined, you could have exclusively constructive or meaningful conversations with people.

If you decide that blogging is something you like and wish to spend more time on Tumblr dot com, you’ll eventually encounter other individuals constructing posts exclusively using words. These are called “text posts”. Even if you follow a blog, you don’t have to read these unless they interest you. If you * do* decide to read them, you should know that humans use certain writing conventions to convey ideas and feelings through typed words. They may employ common devices such as hyperbole, sarcasm, and rhetorical questions to express an emotion or make a point. You can almost always discern whether these things are meant literally using context clues. For example, because time seems to move in a linear fashion, it may be understood that a statement akin to “you wanna fucking go?” in reference to a subject that is not present or in the intended audience of the question, in response to a situation now in the past, is not a literal invitation to a violent physical contest.

Dramatic overstatements and absurdity are used on the Internet for comedic effect. For example, other bloggers might make comments like “call my goldfish cishet and I will literally throw you into the sun”. This is, of course, not meant to be understood literally - humor is derived from the preposterous imagery. If someone were to respond to this statement by unironically and hostilely explaining that goldfish do not have complex theories of gender and the original poster would not have the strength to throw someone forcefully enough to break Earth’s gravitational pull, that would be humorous for a very different reason. Someone would likely make a second response using a photograph of the character Dwight Schrute from the American television series “The Office”. Another example of absurdity-as-comedy you might encounter on Tumblr dot com is someone jokingly taking an insincere and aggressive question at face value and answering with a lengthy, overly-detailed explanation.

I told a potential my fee & he laughed !!!!!

LI-TER-FUCKIN-LY ! Y’all this man responded, “Lol”.

Now, this is where a lot of sugar babies make an mistake. They allow this mans mockery of how much it cost to support their needs/wants sting, they allow themselves to become vulnerable to manipulative and cheap men

I simply explained to him in the most polite and bitchy tone ever (because ladies sometimes sugar may just in look like salt), “The outfits that you so politely complimented and admired, the makeup, the hair, nails, smooth legs, they all cost. So to maintain your desired image and my lifestyle that you wish to be included in (since you messaged me) you have to support me. In exchange for your support, I shower you in attention, affection, make men envious of you, and offer you an introduction to a diverse culture. I thought that was the kind of man you were, and the interest you had in mind. However I apologize that you cant afford me and my lifestyle and I wish you the best of luck!

See what I did there, “your desired image, make men envious of you, thought that was the kind of man you were, you cant afford me”. Subliminally bruising his ego. Sooo just to try and prove how much of a man he is, now he’ll be competitive, hungry to try prove me wrong. Which he was and immediately he began to retract his statement, and accept my offers. :) people just really want what they cant have…well cant afford.

& since he was acting all funny I will neeed my cash in hand before anythannnng.

This, ladies, is why you shouldn’t lowball yourselves

Straight? I think not.

Warning: Smut
Length: 2.6k

Summary:
Dan brags that his blowjobs could turn any guy gay. Unfortunately for him, his friends put this to the test and lock him in a closet…

“My blowjobs are so good, they’d probably turn a straight guy gay!”

That was the comment I had made during gym. It was also the reason I was currently locked in a locker room closet with Phil Lester. Who was, by the way, the school’s straightest heartthrob, and my least favourite classmate. I really needed better friends.

“So you’re telling me that Chris and your other groupies pushed me into this closet so that you could blow me?!”

I winced at Phil’s shrill screech. “If you could not shriek at me, that’d be great. I happen to like my hearing.” I mumbled from my place on the closet floor. “Look, they aren’t going to let us out until we do it, so can we just get it over with so that I can rush home and wash out my mouth?”

He flattened himself to the wall, wide-eyed. “No!”

“What other ideas do you have to get out of here, then?”

“I…” He stopped, a perplexed look overtaking his frantic one. “Are they really not going to unlock the door? Even if we wait?”

“Last month I claimed that I could eat anything. They trapped me inside of my bathroom with a platter of raw worms and crickets, everything completely drenched in hot sauce. I waited for three hours, but they didn’t let me out until I’d licked the plate clean.”

He tried to recoil further, but he was already up against the wall. “You’re not making me want your mouth all over me, Howell. That’s disgusting!”

“You’re telling me!” I groaned, getting pretty tired of fighting. “Just let me take control, and it’ll be over before you know it.”

He clenched his eyes shut, staying silent for several minutes before stepping away from the wall tentatively. “Fine… But you can’t tell everyone about this.” He muttered, watching me warily.

“Noted.” I sighed, closing my eyes and forcing myself into my sexual headspace. Then I reopened them, taking in Phil’s frame. He has nice curves, I decided, licking my lips instinctively as my gaze roamed over his hips. Good legs, too.

I crawled towards him on my hands and knees. He let out a startled squeak as my hands found his hips, pushing them back against the wall. His scent filled my nose, musky and slightly sweaty due to the gym class last period. It was exciting, causing heat to spiral down and in between my legs.

Whining softly, I glided my hands up and down his sides and over his chest, trying to feel every part of him I could reach. Then I pressed my nose to the front of his jeans in search of more of his smell. Phil jumped, gasping harshly when I nuzzled his half-hard length through his clothes.

“Do you want me to do it, or you?” I murmured, playing with the waistband of his jeans. Phil gaped at me, his mouth opening and closing but no sound escaping. Trailing my fingers daintily across his stomach, I leaned against his thigh to look up at him as innocently as I could. “I don’t mind doing it for you.”

“I-I… Um… Sure?” He squeaked. My fingers hooked into his belt loops, pulling them down and searching each bit of newly exposed skin as they slid down his thighs, pooling at his ankles. He kicked them off, glancing my way as if I was going to attack him once he was done. I simply pressed him back against the wall again.

He hissed as his bare legs met the wall, pressing up against my firm grip. “It’s cold!”

“You’ll warm up quickly, don’t you worry,” I chuckled. I focused my gaze on the outline of his semi through his boxers, which clung tightly to his thighs. Below the dark material was a seemingly endless supply of pale, unmarked skin. I decided that a slow buildup would be the best approach.

I pressed open mouthed kisses to the inside of his thighs to test his limits, tasting his skin with my tongue. Phil took a sharp intake of breath, trembling with the strain of keeping himself still. I moved slowly up from his knees to the top of his thighs. Then I took a quick detour to explore his hips, unable to resist digging my teeth into the taut skin there.

“Did you just bite me?” He stared down at me as I traced the blossoming mark with my finger.

“Mmhmm…” I decided that the dark bruises looked nice on his pale skin, so I tugged at the fabric of his boxers. “May I?”

He closed his eyes and nodded, his breathing getting heavier as I removed the last bit of clothing between my mouth and him. Then I moved to decorate the skin with more marks. Each time I bit down, a soft “ha” escaped from his lips.

“H-how am I-ha-going t-to explain these marks tomorrow?” He managed, squirming under my grip. A smirk tugged at my lips as I surveyed my work, pleased that the bruises were scattered both above and below where his gym shorts would be as well as along his v-line.

“Guess you’ll get to tell everyone that you snagged a hot boy…” I snickered quietly as Phil let out an indignant squeak and slapped my arm. “What? I’m hot, admit it!”

“You wish!” He scoffed, a faint blush dusting his cheeks as he avoided my eyes. Interesting. I trailed a finger over the various bruises, before rubbing his base teasingly.

“Dan!” He hissed, curling his fingers into fists against the wall as my hand ran up and down his length. I leaned forwards, carefully, and flicked my tongue out to taste the bead of precum gathering at his tip.

Phil keened, bucking his hips forwards suddenly so that my tongue slid along the bottom of his length. As soon as he’d realized what he’d done though, he flushed red and leaned back against the wall.

I just chuckled and used my hands to steady him before wrapping my lips around his tip. I couldn’t help but mewl as the salty flavour spread across my tongue, but it was nothing compared to the loud whimper Phil emitted.

“D-Dan… Stop teasing…” He managed, struggling against where I was holding him from pressing forwards. I pulled off, doing the opposite of what he had asked. Instead, I pressed wet kisses along the side of his length. “Howell!” He spluttered uselessly.

Giggling, I glanced up to his incredibly red face. “Something wrong?” I purred. He just glared down at me, his fingers twitching like he wanted to just grab my head and make me obey him. Heat swirled low in my stomach at the thought.

“You are such a tease.” Phil muttered, and I couldn’t help but notice how much lower and more gravelly his voice had gone. Swallowing roughly, I tried to stay on top of the rushing images in my head.

“I just know how to get you all worked up,” I winked. He spluttered again, beginning to growl something about how annoyingly cocky I was. I cut him off by suddenly lurching forwards and taking him into my mouth.

He swore, loudly, and his hands flew forwards to tangle in my hair. Blunt fingernails scraped my scalp as his fingers curled to grip my brown locks, tugging my mouth forwards. His hips jerked a bit as a moan pushed its way up my throat.

We both paused for breath. Phil panted heavily above me, while I forced myself to breathe through my nose. When I finally glanced up to his face, I couldn’t help the choked whine that escaped.

His head had fallen to the side, bright crimson cheeks underlining his darkened blue eyes as they locked with mine. I was slightly aware of my hands falling from his hips. He must have suddenly realized that I was breathing quite heavily through my nose, because he tugged my hair until I moved my mouth off of him.

I gasped for breath, aware that Phil hadn’t let go of his grip on my curls. If anything, he seemed to have tightened it, as if he was afraid I’d run away.

“J-Jesus, Phil…” I managed, lust and want rushing through my veins. He seemed to decide that I wasn’t mad at him, removing his hands to unbutton his shirt. I watched him quizzically.

“Hot in here,” He stated gruffly, pushing the material off of his shoulders and cautiously pushing his fingers back through my curls. “Is this okay?”

“Mmh…” I mumbled, leaning up into the touch. My jeans felt tight and uncomfortable, and now that he mentioned it, hot and sweaty. “I wanna strip too.”

“Are you asking for permission?”

“Yeah, can I?” He nodded, releasing my hair again so that I could shuffle away a few steps. I made quick work of my shirt, fumbling a bit with my belt before finally kicking off my jeans, leaving my underwear on.

Instantly I scrambled forwards to take him into my mouth again, moaning when he bumped the back of my throat. I was vaguely aware of Phil murmuring praise, each quiet word shooting down my spine to join the jumble of arousal filling my lower body. He slid in and out of my mouth slowly as I relaxed my jaw.

“So pretty like this,” He murmured, tugging my hair to guide me forwards again. I took advantage of his newly exposed skin, using my hands to explore his chest and sides as he controlled the movement of my head.

“Wanna touch myself…” I whined, increasingly aware of the pressure on my length. Phil tutted, glancing down at where I was shifting against the hard tile floor. Immediately I stopped and blushed.

“No, want to see you come untouched like the slut you are.”

My hips jerked at the unexpected command, but I managed to pull myself together with a strangled sounding whine. Phil hummed approvingly. Pulling my hair back, I felt him push in deeper at the new angle, until I was deepthroating his length with my nose pressed against his base. The same musky smell from before filled my nose, and I moaned appreciatively as he pulled back out and repeated the motion.

“Gonna come just from me using your mouth, yeah? Only I get to use you like this?” His voice was a low growl, possessively commanding my thoughts.

“Yes! Please… Use me, I’m… your… toy!” I begged in between thrusts, climbing towards my climax much faster now that he was saying such things like that. Phil huffed out a laugh, clearly amused by how effectively he’d managed to take control.

“Good boy,” He murmured gently, holding my head still as his tip repeatedly hit the back of my throat. It was weird, the way he effortlessly switched from commands and degradation to soft praising whispers, but it seemed that my body reacted strongly to pretty much any talk during such intimate moments.

His heavy breathing brought my eyes back to his face. “I-I’m-” He gasped suddenly, breaking off his sentence and pulling me harshly forwards as he fell over the edge. Hot liquid streaked over my tongue and down my throat, Phil’s breathless moans and praise filling my ears.

Then I was coming suddenly, pleasure spiking in my body as my orgasm racked through me. Mine was much quieter than his, considering that I had a slowly softening length filling my mouth, the last bit of his come disappearing down my throat as I swallowed around my noises.

He pushed my lips off of him wearily as he came down from his high, slumping against the wall and sliding down to sit in front of me. I squirmed in my soiled underwear, not quite sure whether to go to him or not. Thankfully, Phil decided for me by motioning me forwards and allowing me to collapse against his chest.

“Did you actually come from that?” He murmured, pressing his heated palm to my sensitive scalp. I pressed up into the touch.

“Mmh.. maybe…” My voice was raspy, almost hoarse. I blushed as he chuckled. He stayed quiet for a few more minutes, brushing his fingers delicately over my abused curls. Then he turned to look at me with a gentle smile.

“Shower?”

“Please,” I mumbled, a bit embarrassed. He stood and went to the back of the closet, rummaging through a bin of towels while I took the chance to admire his body from behind. Turning, he offered me one to wrap around my waist to conceal the dark patch on my front. Once we were both covered, with his towel hiked a bit higher to cover the bruises, we tried the door. It opened easily. I chose not to think about when Chris had come to unlock it.

Phil ushered me through the locker room, grabbing his bag from a bench nearby and following me to the showers. The spray was warm and inviting, and Phil dropped his towel without much hesitation before stepping in with a content sigh. I followed, kicking off my underwear and throwing my towel to the side.

His eyes roamed over my frame before reaching out and pulling me under the water with him. I collided with his chest, nearly knocking him backwards and causing giggles to bubble up from our throats.

“This is nice,” Phil murmured, reaching for the shampoo and rubbing it into my hair. I hummed, closing my eyes at the blissful feeling of his fingers in my hair.

“Yeah?”

“Mm..” His breath moved to the side of my neck, tingles erupting where his lips barely brushed the skin. I bit my lip as teeth scraped over the same spot, knowing that he was going to leave a mark. I probably deserved it for marking him up so much. He took a deep breath when he was done. “You smell a bit like strawberries.”

I couldn’t help but snort at that. “I’m pretty sure I smell like sex, actually.” He swatted my arm, and I opened my eyes as he giggled, his tongue between his teeth. A smile tugged at my lips. “You have a nice laugh…”

“You have an amazing mouth.” He retorted, smirking despite the blush creeping up the back of his neck. I couldn’t help but wink.

“Oh, I’m sure my mouth can do more than that.” Phil swatted my arm again, pushing me under the spray and causing shampoo to run in rivulets down my face and neck. “Hey!” I squeaked, clenching my eyes shut to avoid getting it in my eyes. The sweet smelling suds had almost disappeared when I felt his hands slide around my waist, tugging me closer.

I’m not sure who kissed who first, but it was sweet and gentle and not at all heated or sexual. He tasted like peaches. Who gave him the right to taste so good? I cringed internally when I realized what I probably tasted like, but he didn’t seem to mind. He pulled back slowly, seemingly trying to catch his breath but leaning back in to press quick pecks to the corners of my mouth before resting his forehead against mine.

“I think I like boys.”

A soft smile tugged at my lips. “You think so?” He pulled me back for another delicate kiss, breathing a word into the tiny gap between our mouths.

“Yeah.”

Paper Stars

Summary: Dan starts to get love notes in his locker in the form of origami stars, so he gets the help of his best friend, Phil, to figure out who it is.
Word Count: 2,398
Warnings: cussing
A/N: Thanks to @insanityplaysfics as always for giving me ideas. I’m a fucking sap recently because my boyfriend proposed to me and I just wanna write a crapton of fluff and puke rainbows everywhere. This is short and sweet, which is very rare for me! I hope you like it anyways!
Read it on AO3

-

The day Dan opened his locker to a strange slip of paper folded into an origami star was one of the strangest moments of his life.

“What,” Dan said simply, giving the offending paper a strange look. He bent down and retrieved it, staring at it long and hard. It was thin, made with a flowery paper, and he could just make out words written in very small print on it. “What,” Dan said again.

With a small amount of struggle, Dan managed to unwrap the star, revealing the writing inside. The script was sloppy to the point where Dan thinks it was written with the wrong hand. Dan said “what” again and the word didn’t even sound like it was real anymore. It took him a few minutes to read what it said due to the scribble, but he eventually managed.

‘i used to stare out the window because i thought the scenery was beautiful. Then i saw you and suddenly the world didnt seem nearly as captivating as before.

Keep reading

One-paragraph appreciation for the introvert types

ISTJs:  I think it’s great that there are so many of you, because ISTJs drive the world, get stuff done, and always seem to know what’s going on. You’re so incredibly reliable and trustworthy and we need people like that. Without your devotion and logical thinking, the world would be nowhere.

ISFJs: You guys are the glue that holds society together. I love how much you care about everyone and how much effort you put in to make sure everyone is okay. Seriously, you deserve more credit for being such great people, and you have both the drive and natural kindness to help a lot of people.

INFJs: Not only do you have other peoples’ best interests in mind, you guys dream big and have bold ideals. You may not think they’ll happen, but because you’re all so gutsy and organized (unlike me) I feel like you can and will accomplish your goals. I wish there were more of you, because you’re brilliant.

INTJs: You nerds are going to change the world. Seriously, you’re all intelligent, knowledgeable, determined and generally great at stuff, and you’re unbound by expectations. You are creators, challengers, improvers, and while you are few, you can have massive effects on the world on your own.

ISTPs: I know none of you are that dependent on the approval of others, but for what it’s worth: you are great. Your cleverness, pragmatism and bravery mean that you can accomplish awesome things that others could only dream of, and your calmness under pressure is something I strive for.

ISFPs: I feel like the world would be so much more peaceful if people adopted your mindset. It’s incredible how well you guys can see the beauty in others and the world around you. Flexible, talented people like you have so much potential, and since you’re all so kind and charming it’s great to be around you.

INFPs: You guys are most interested in deep thoughts and long-term goals and don’t care about shallow things. And that’s a wonderful way to be. I’m so glad that there are people like you: deep thinkers who don’t forget to look after others, altruists who still seek to define themselves. You fit so many great qualities into one incredible personality.

INTPs: My fellow oddities, you are awesome. You have whole worlds inside your heads, and you tend to know the right answers and ask the right questions. Your curiosity and imagination combined are a force to be reckoned with, and you are definitely some of the smartest people in the world.

anonymous asked:

I just read proposal yesterday and thought it was so sweet! I was wondering if you have any fics you could recommend? Jimin is my bias but I'm pretty open to any members with the reader. Thanks and keep up the good work! Kep jarng! 😁

Aghh thank you so much, sweetheart! I’m so glad you enjoyed Proposals and I’m really flattered that you’re asking me for recommendations! :D Okay, here’s a list of my fave fics that you should check out if you haven’t already. So you aren’t confused, the stuff in italics is the synopsis/description the writer provided and the indented bit is me being incoherent and lame as always.

Sin City (Jimin x reader) by @btssmutgaloreAfter a run of bad luck, you can go back home and admit defeat or step out of your comfort zone and look for a job at Sin City.  

Hands down the best stripper au I’ve ever read. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from this fic because you never know where stripper AUs are going to go, but holy moly am I glad I gave this a chance. You will be addicted to this fic. Jimin’s character has so much depth, but he’s such an enigma at the same time and I’m dying to know what the heck he’s thinking/what his background is. The tension is so drawn out and the sessy scenes are all so different, which is really refreshing to read and you don’t know what’s going to come next. ALSO, I feel like there’s a lot of empowerment and respect in this fic, which makes me so happy. Love love love this fic with my entire being. 

Monster (Jeongguk x reader) by @btssmutgalore: You sleep with an obnoxious fratboy who used to be your friend.

This fic is perfection. It doesn’t have a complicated plot, but it’s still so interesting to read and the smut is A++++. Jeongguk’s character has so many facets and though he has a lot of issues to sort through, I’m rooting for him and the OC so much. 

Purple Jewels (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @jiminniemouse: When you fall in love with Jungkook and he isn’t there to catch you, a sudden surprise shows up to give you a little bit of help.

GENIE!JIMIN. AKLSDJFKLAASKDJFLK (I really tried not to keyboard smash but fuck I lose my shit because of how much I love this fic). Oh man, where do I even begin with this?? It’s my absolute favourite Jimin x reader fic and one of my absolute fave fics in general because it’s written so well, it’s creative, the characters are interesting, AND THE TENSIONNNN. I come so close to combusting with each part and I’m dying for more. Also Jimin’s character is so sweet and I love him so much (where can I find myself a genie Jimin???). Please please please read this!

Hiraeth (Jeongguk/Taehyung x reader) by @jungkxookA world full of dwindling hope and lost loves and yet you and Jungkook are all the other needs to feel at home. 

This is the first member x reader fic I ever read and IT IS THE BEST THING EVER. EVER. It’s a zombie apocalypse au and it’s so angsty and sometimes it feels like my heart has been punched out of my chest and it’s such a wonderful feeling even though it hurts like hell. The world is constructed so believably and there are so many well thought out details to it, so when you’re reading it feels REAL. All the characters are different and you never know what’s going to happen next. I can’t recommend reading this enough, it is freaking incredible (and the love triangle is fucking me up so bad).

Philophobia (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @minsvgasex has its consequences, always; whether for better or for worse, sex always has its consequences. and the drunken rendezvous you have with your best friend is not an exception.

This is discontinued but it’s still worth reading because it’s so freaking hot and I love the plot and just??? I don’t usually read fuckboy fics because fuckboys are the bane of human existence, but this fic is amazing and the smut is awesome. Also be prepared to not know who you’re rooting for. One second I would want Jimin to win the OC’s heart and the next I wanted Jeongguk to end up with her, so brace yourself for conflicting feelings.

Company (Namjoon x reader) by @fireheart-namjoon​: Sometimes all you want is a bit of company.

OKAY before I scream about the sessy stuff in this fic, I really want to say that I fucking loved Namjoon’s characterization in this and it’s so nice to read an OC who is strong and independent. The writing style is absolutely fantastic and the thigh riding was 100000/10.

Retrograde (Jeongguk x reader) by @remembeofantasy!au

When I read this I feel the way I do on rainy, dark days when I’m reading a book and just slip away into the world on the page. The details and the way this is written are so mesmerizing and I want to know more. You’re so swept away by everything that you completely forget about the reality for a little while.

A Roadtrip (Jeongguk x reader) by @taeinmycupJungkook makes your planned roadtrip to Busan a bit messy.

Road trip fics never get old and neither does the childhood-friends-to-lovers plot either. This was a wonderful fic to indulge in and um the frick frack is pretty damn nice. Just saying.

Sutures and Stitches (Jeongguk x reader) by @hayjeon​: hitman!jeongguk and medstudent!Y/N bestfriends!au; Jeongguk always shows up to your place or hospital whenever he gets hurt because you guys are best friends and you patch him up, but he has no idea that every time you stitch up his wounds, it tears open new wounds in your own heart.

I recently read this and I am OBSESSED. I refresh the OP’s page daily just to make sure I didn’t miss an update. The writing is so detailed and Jeongguk’s character is so interesting, I just want to know what the heck happens next + how Jeongguk ended up with this kind of life.

Chrysalism (Jimin x reader) by @workofteaguk: Bookstores have always lured you in with the promise of the quiet, the serene, and, most recently, him.

THIS IS THE SWEETEST FREAKING THING AND I WISH IT WERE LONGER. It made my entire day when I read it and I was smiling the entire time. Where do I have to go to find a cute boy like this???

It’s All Fun & Games (Jeongguk x reader) by @workofteagukIn which you and Jungkook attempt to fake a relationship for revenge and end up with a lot more than either of you expected.

When will fake relationship AUs not be the best thing in existence? The answer to that is never. I don’t care how many times people write this concept, it will always be so fun to read because of the angsty feels. So if you’re as trash for this as I am, then absolutely read this.

Sounds of You (Jimin/Jeongguk x reader) by @vivacioustae​: As a young girl you dreamt of hearing the bells, the ones that signaled you had found your soulmate, the missing piece everyone was so desperate to find. After falling in love with Jimin you abandoned the search, hoping you would come to never hear the bells, preferring to continue your life with him uninterrupted. You’d soon come to learn the harshness of fate, and that it doesn’t care about your hopes, feelings, or you.

Listen, from the very first sentence of this fic, I was completely hooked. From the get go you know that it’s going to mess with your emotions, but it’s worth it. I love this concept so much and my heart is aching reading this. After reading the first part, this fic is all I could think about and my heart ached because I wanted to know what was coming next, but also wasn’t prepared for it. Love love love this.

Teamwork (Taehyung x Seokjin x reader) by @sugajpgPeculiar events occur when the two best volleyball players of your college decide to take competitiveness out of the courts.

Best threesome fic I’ve read so far. I’m just. :’’’’’)) I’m still screaming. Fml this is too good and I feel the flames of hell licking my feet but screw it. Where do I sign up for this?

Like Crazy (Jimin x reader) by @war-of-hormoan: This story is based off the film by the same name.

Because I don’t care about my well-being in any way, I started this fic and I love it so much so far. The film Like Crazy is incredible, but it feels like you’ve been punched in the gut twenty times by the end, and it made me sob… like crazy. So this fic will probably end up doing that too and as nervous as I am for that, it’s so worth it. Everything is written so vividly and the relationship between Jimin and the OC is so sweet to read. I’m really excited to see how this progresses.

Grey Area (Yoongi x reader) by @blushoseoksAnd just like that, your fate was sealed - because Min Yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. But hell, if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so. And sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.

THIS IS SO WELL WRITTEN. SO. WELL. WRITTEN. Ohmygod, I’m in love with this writing style and THE CONCEPT IS AMAZING. The ending of part one left me feeling like I’d been kicked in the gut or something and you’re all ???? wtf is going on??? and you’re completely hooked so you binge read the rest. This fic is perfection.

Until Next Time (Jimin x reader) by @taeverieWho would have guessed that a stranger you met through an online game would quickly escalate into a cyber fuck buddy?

OK OK OK UM LET ME GATHER MY THOUGHTS HERE. First off, how can I be the OC?? Second off, HOW CAN I BE THE OC???? I wouldn’t have the balls to actually be this forward in real life but still, this just kept escalating and they didn’t even really do the hanky panky but it was still hot as fuck and 10/10 would recommend.

Not So Honest (Jeongguk x reader) by @wonhopesJungkook has got a pretty big problem, and he desperately asks you for your help. 

Hi hello yes be prepared to explode ok this was TOO good oml. I’m also a slut for sub!jeongguk because that sinful man deserves to be tortured the way he tortures us so this was a glorious find (though the roles do reverse in the end but whatever THIS WAS GREAT).

Obey (Jimin x reader) by @sugasgrowl

sub!jimin. Must I say more? I spontaneously combusted like ten times while reading this and would gladly undergo that again because it’s so nice to read fics where the roles reversed and I would give up a limb to see Jimin in such a debauched state.

All To Myself (Jimin/Yoongi x reader) by @mint-tape: “It’s hard to be a vlogger when half your subscribers care more about your hot friends than you.”
- Y/N, from her April 23, 2016 vlog titled ‘Jimin shows his stupid abs 8 times (not clickbait)’

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST CREATIVE FICS I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. All the ‘videos’ and the ‘comments’ and just everything about this is absolute perfection. The characters are all diverse and the OC is really likeable. Just. I’m glad I found this fic, it’s so unique and all these extra goodies make the read even more fun.

The Blue Notebooks (Jimin x reader) by @inktae: time travel au

Honestly, I don’t even know what to write about this because I’m still speechless. No words can capture how beautiful the writing is (all her work is beautiful) and how well emotion is captured in this. Everything is so thought out and all these little details come together to form the bigger picture. Do yourself a favour and read this as well as all the rest of the OP’s writing. She is so freaking talented and we are all blessed to be able to read her work.

…Sorry, that got ridiculously long. @_@ For member x reader fics I tend to read Jimin/Jeongguk focused stuff, if it’s not incredibly obvious… Oops. Am I Jimin biased or jiguk biased? Anyway. I hope this list helped and I’m sorry it took so long for me to respond, I just wanted to get through some of the fics I had saved in case I wanted to recommend them. Enjoy!

compliments part 2 - zach dempsey

requested: yes

word count: 2.216

warnings: none besides fluff i think

plot: zach decides to (nervously) confront you after finding out you’re the one slipping compliments in his bag

a/n: i Cannot believe a 2nd part was requested i cant believe you guys enjoyed the first part and sent me messages!! i wasn’t planning on writing this but here she is since y’all are cute as heck


Originally posted by veronicsalodge

Thursday night found Zach Dempsey sprawled on his bed.

A week worth of complimentary notes was at the foot of the bed. Some were folded, some all the way open but none of them were in their original, pristine state. They were crumpled, thing that probably happened whenever the boy stuffed them in his pockets.

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ASK ME QUESTIONS!
  • 1:Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?
  • 2:Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?
  • 3:If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?
  • 4:Do you find it easy to trust others?
  • 5:What were you doing at 11PM last night?
  • 6:You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?
  • 7:What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
  • 8:Are you close with your dad?
  • 9:I bet you kissed someone last night, right?
  • 10:What are you listening to?
  • 11:You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?
  • 12:Do you like hickeys?
  • 13:What time do you go to bed?
  • 14:Is there someone who continuously lets you down?
  • 15:Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?
  • 16:Do you always answer your texts?
  • 17:Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
  • 18:When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
  • 19:Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
  • 20:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
  • 21:Is anyone else in the room with you?
  • 22:Do you believe what goes around comes around?
  • 23:Were you happier four months ago than you are now?
  • 24:Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?
  • 25:In the past week, have you cried?
  • 26:What colour is the shirt you are wearing?
  • 27:Do people ever call you by your last name?
  • 28:Is anyone ignoring you right now?
  • 29:Do you have a best friend?
  • 30:Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?
  • 31:Who was your last call from?
  • 32:Are you mad at anyone?
  • 33:Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
  • 34:How old will the last person you kissed be on their next birthday?
  • 35:How many more days until your birthday?
  • 36:Do you have any summer plans yet?
  • 37:Do you have any good friends of another gender?
  • 38:Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?
  • 39:Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?
  • 40:Have you ever regretted kissing someone?
  • 41:Do you think age matters in relationships?
  • 42:Are you available?
  • 43:How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?
  • 44:If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?
  • 45:Do you believe exes can be friends?
  • 46:Do you regret anything?
  • 47:Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?
  • 48:Did you ever lose a best friend?
  • 49:Was your last kiss a mistake?
  • 50:Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?
  • 51:Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
  • 52:Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?
  • 53:What was the last thing you ate?
  • 54:Did you get any compliments today?
  • 55:Where are you going on your next vacation?
  • 56:Do you own anything from other countries?
  • 57:What gender are most of your friends?
  • 58:Where have you lived most of your life?
  • 59:When was the last time you took a long drive?
  • 60:Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?
  • 61:Have you ever TPd someone’s house?
  • 62:Who do you text the most?
  • 63:What was the last movie you saw?
  • 64:What’s preventing your current significant other from going back to their ex?
  • 65:How many significant others did you have in 2010?
  • 66:Is the last person you kissed younger than you?
  • 67:Do you curse around your parents?
  • 68:Are you happy with where you live?
  • 69:Picture of yourself?
  • 70:Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?
  • 71:Have you ever been dumped?
  • 72:What do you most like about making out?
  • 73:Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?
  • 74:When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?
  • 75:What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?
  • 76:Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
  • 77:Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
  • 78:Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?
  • 79:What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?
  • 80:Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
  • 81:Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?
  • 82:Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?
  • 83:Do you miss your last sweetie?
  • 84:Last time you slow danced with someone?
  • 85:Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?
  • 86:How can I win your heart?
  • 87:What is your astrological sign?
  • 88:What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
  • 89:Do you cook?
  • 90:Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?
  • 91:If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?
  • 92:Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?
  • 93:What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?
  • 94:Name four things that you wish you had.
  • 95:Are you a player?
  • 96:Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?
  • 97:Are you a tease?
  • 98:Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?
  • 99:Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?
  • 100:Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?
  • 101:Hugs or Kisses?
  • 102:Are you too shy to ask someone out?
  • 103:The first thing you notice about your preferred gender(s)?
  • 104:Is it cute when someone calls you babe?
  • 105:If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew they were in a relationship, would you go for it?
  • 106:Do you flirt a lot?
  • 107:Your last kiss?
  • 108:Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2011?
  • 109:Have you kissed anyone in the past month?
  • 110:If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
  • 111:Do you know who you’ll kiss next?
  • 112:Does someone like you currently?
  • 113:Do you currently have feelings for anyone?
  • 114:Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?
  • 115:Ever made out with just a friend?
  • 116:Are you happier single or in a relationship?
  • 117:Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.
witchy asks
  1. how did you discover witchcraft?
  2. how long have you been a witch for?
  3. where did you start in your craft?
  4. how has your craft evolved since then?
  5. what is that one thing that happened that convinced you that magic is real?
  6. what is one area you are completely convinced that is real? what are you more skeptic about?
  7. what celestial object do you feel most connected to?
  8. do you have a favourite crystal? favourite herb?
  9. what is your favourite divination method?
  10. are there any less known areas that you practice?
  11. how open are you about your craft?
  12. do you know any witches in real life?
  13. any areas you wish you were better at?
  14. any areas you have always been interested in but never got around to trying?
  15. any areas you have been interested in and know a lot about but are too scared to try?
  16. do you have a familiar?
  17. do you have a spirit guide?
  18. do you have any spirit companions?
  19. what is your favourite thing about your craft?
  20. what is some advice that you would give baby witches? or your past self when you were just starting out?
  21. post a picture of your favourite page of your grimoire/book of shadows/witchy journal!
  22. how important are tools in your practice?
  23. do you prefer to buy or make your tools?
Billion Dollar Man

Kwon Jiyong/ G Dragon X Reader

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Moodboard by @memoiresofaneternaldreamer

When you originally pulled the invitation from your mailbox you thought it had been yet another wedding invitation from one of your college friends. The elaborate gold writing on the black envelope, wrapped in actual lace. It was easy to assume from its elegance that it would be something like that.

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Fall For You || Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

Word Count: 1.7k

Genre: Fluff


The library was a place you were supposed to be able to go to to study, and usually it was. There was something about sitting by yourself that let you study easier and focus better. Silence filled the library most days and you never had to worry about someone coming and bugging you over something that would be considered a waste of time. That was until you met Jeon Jungkook.

At first he was another one of the bad boys on campus, a title you thought would drop when entering college but somehow persisted for him. He wore it proudly on his chest like the words of others defined who he was without a problem. It was something you had never liked before, but it was different with him. The only reason he had started talking to you in the first place though, was because he had started to crush on your best friend.

The library was a place where you were able to study and learn without anyone bothering you, but it seemed now that Jungkook had started crushing on your best friend, he had recruited you into helping him get her to fall for him. It was like no matter where you ran away to he would always find you and follow you around until you helped him with what he needed.

Keep reading

Love Letters

Originally posted by joeck


Pairing: Zach Dempsey x Reader

Request: zach dempsey fluff please!! 

Words: 1.735

A/N: This is my first Zach imagine and I hope that you guys like it. This is my last post until friday night, since I’ll be going back to school tomorrow. I am still writing and I can see the feedbacks and requests if there are some. I hope that you guys bear with me and I hope that you understand. Thank you so much, guys.

- G.

Warning: Swearing


Peer Communications was one of the subjects you looked up to everyday and you loved it because you learnt how to behave with people and how to communicate with them. You sometimes asked for help whenever you were down and needed some advices. You also studied some psychological topics and it helped you to be more empathic towards other people.

One more thing you liked about it was the notes of encouragement bag. You could write some anonymous notes to people and put it in their bag. Its purpose was to encourage people so they would value their self-esteem and their existence in this world.

You thought that the idea was amazing and innovative, because it has been awhile since you’ve been secretly receiving love letters from someone from your class. You could admit that the person perfectly cheered you up, making you more confident whenever they would leave one in your bag, but it didn’t help you to kill your curiosity to find out who the person was.

“(Y/N), you look so pretty whenever you smile and it melts me every time I see your lips curving and with those perfect white teeth of yours exposing.” Alex read that little piece of paper with a smirk as you were talking about your secret admirer.

You two were in the library with Zach and Jessica while you were waiting for your next subject: Peer Communications.

“Aw, that’s so sweet.” Jessica complimented as she took the piece of paper from Alex’s hand and read it once again, with a lower tone this time.

“It is.” You bit your lip as you tried not to smile too much because of it. “I wonder who it is.” You wouldn’t sleep sometimes because of it and, being your ultimate crush, you kind of wished that it was Zach.

“Jesus Christ, that’s too damn corny!” Zach complaint and shook his head.

“Stop being jealous, Dempsey.” You winked at him as you teased him, but you were absolutely broken hearted for his reaction. You shrugged it off since you hinted that he was having a bad day, because he just gathered his things and walked away. “Zach!” You shouted as you tried to stop him.

“Zachary Dempsey!” Jessica tried to stop him too, but he just ignored you and he got out of the library, annoyed and vexed.

“Shh!” The old and stressed librarian scolded you and you just flashed her an apologetic smile. You were embarrassed, because you got some looks from your other fellow students and you heard soft giggles from Alex.

“I’m pulling your septum ring away if you don’t stop.” You threatened him and he suddenly closed his mouth, rolling his eyes. “Just kidding, Standall!” You and Jessica then giggled silently and Alex shook his head.

“(Y/N),” Alex became serious as he looked at you, straight into your eyes. “I think he’s jealous.”

“Jealous? Who?” You corrugated your forehead as you couldn’t understand what he was talking about.

“Jesus,” He let his face fall on his hands as he unleashed a long and deep sigh. “Zach!”

“What the fuck are you saying Alex?” You snatched a piece of paper from Alex’s hand and you started to gather your things. It was impossible that Zach was jealous, how could he? Didn’t he think that those stuffs were damn corny? “Don’t think about it that way, Mr. I jump into conclusions easily.”

“Why the fuck are these people so touchy?” Alex complaint as he looked at Jessica and pointed at you. You and Jessica both chuckled because Alex thought that you were annoyed and frustrated.

“I’m not being touchy, bro!” You defended yourself and you looked at your wrist watch for the time. “We’re going to be late if you don’t get your ass up.”

“Alright, let’s go.” They started to gather their things and you all went out of the library as you headed to your next class.

“Wait, I forgot my book!” Jessica exclaimed as she was controlling the books in her bag. “(Y/N), mind joining me?”

“Oh, sure!” You smiled at her and you were about to go away, when Alex stopped you.

“I’ll go with her, go inside the class (Y/N) and save us our seats.” Alex proposed and you just shrugged it off. They both went to Jessica’s locker and you entered your room.

“Zach?” You were surprised to see Zach and he was about to put a piece of paper inside your encouragement bag. How? You thought he never liked those stuffs.

“(Y/N)!” His eyes widened as he saw you entering the room. He didn’t expect to see you and he was frightened because you caught him. “Uhm, I- I…” He stuttered and he didn’t know what to say.

“You are my secret admirer?” You corrugated your forehead as you brought your hand to your slightly opened mouth, shocked of the revelation.

“Uhm,” He wandered around the room as he felt nervous and you could see that he was blushing. “read this.” He walked closer to you and handed you the paper, instead of putting it in your bag. He was already caught in action, why would he even escape?

“Thank you.” You shyly said as you carefully accepted the paper from his hand.
You slowly opened the folded paper and you were honestly excited to read what was written in it.

Dear (Y/N),

Hi! How are you? I know that it’s been awhile since you started receiving love letters from me and your curiosity is killing you every time, I always see you frustrated after reading my notes.
Anyway, I know that I suck at writing, but I wanted to let you know that I am liking you more and more every day. I am happy to be your friend and being just a friend is enough for me, if you don’t feel the same way. I sometimes hope that you feel or will feel the same way about me too, anyway. I am keeping my fingers crossed,

Take care always,
Zach
.

You silently read the short letter as the two of you stood in the middle of your classroom. You looked at Zach and you flashed him a sweet smile. Your heartbeat was getting louder and you became nervous and enthusiastically happy at the same time.

You wondered, though, why he acted strange earlier if he felt that way? Why would he be jealous, like what Alex hypothesized? Damn, look what Alex could do at you!

“Zach, you are the sweetest person ever.” He smiled at you and he pulled you into a hug.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way about me,” You hugged him back and you were amazed by the height difference that you both had. He was surely tall and you had to admit that you felt a little bit small. “your friendship is enough.” He murmured and you could hear in his voice that he was wishing for more.

“Zach,” You broke the hug so you could see his handsome face. “you are sweet, kind and funny. It’s not impossible to not like you back.” You honestly confessed back and you quickly saw a wide smile forming on his lips, while he fidgeted with his fingers and looking at his shoes, as if they were the most interesting things in the world.

It was true that you had a crush on him for a while now and you never had the guts to admit it because you thought that it was the boy who should do the first step. Yup, old style.

“Rosie’s tonight then?” He happily asked. “So, we can talk about it.”

“Yeah, sure!” You hyperactively nodded and he let out some soft laughs.

You and Zach stared at each other for a while and you both didn’t know what to say because the awkward atmosphere. At that moment, you hated your classmates for not coming inside the classroom until the bell rang and you hated Jessica and Alex because they were taking too much time to get the freaking damn book.

“Zach!” You suddenly blurted out as you remembered that something was bothering you. “Why did you say that those stuffs were corny if you were the one who writes them?”

“The one that Alex has read wasn’t from me.” He seemed disturbed at the thought of that little letter.

“So, you were really jealous?” You smirked as you teased him and he rolled his eyes.

“Uhm, yes,” He almost whispered as he answered your question sincerely. He looked at the ground as he tried to hide his reddish face. “because I saw that you were so happy because of it and I thought that you didn’t like me and you liked that one, instead.“ He explained and you just giggled. You didn’t know that he was that possessive and you honestly loved it. A possessive and overprotective boyfriend was what you were asking for.

“Silly!” You shook your head because he thought that you didn’t like him. “I still wonder who wrote that note though.”

“My fault!” Alex entered the classroom and winked at Zach, who was already giving him a death glare. You raised an eyebrow as you asked for explanations from that vexatious friend of yours. “I knew that he liked you and I told you that he was jealous.”

“Damn it, Standall!” Zach complaint, but Alex didn’t seem to care that much. You smiled because you understood what he tried to do and you couldn’t help but to love that idiot even more, of course, as a friend.

“Congrats!” He cheerfully teased the two of you. “By the way, I really thought that you have a really nice and perfect smile, (Y/N), and I can confirm it now.” He pointed it out as he saw you smiling widely for his actions.

You shook your head together with and stopped as soon as the bell rang. You went to your seats as the other students came inside the room. You kept on getting smirks and teasing winks from Alex, but you just threw him a crumpled paper in response.

Your favourite subject was about to start and you wanted to thank your teacher for making those bags of encouragement up. It was really a useful and a pleasant idea.

At least, it helped you to be more confident and it has got you a date for that night.


Movie Idea

Man with two daughters losses his wife (Accident, cancer maybe?). She was the love of his life and best friend and he takes it hard.

Two years later his daughter take note of a new resident in the town. A single young woman who seems to share a lot of interests. They decide she’s perfect. 

Thus the movie continues with the daughters comedic attempts to get the new lady and their father to run into each other and talk to each other. Finally they tip their hand and their Dad catches them. 

He sits them down and explains that he wishes they could have a mother, but he’s not ready to start dating and honestly he may never be. The daughters roll their eyes.

“We know that Dad. We weren’t trying to get you a girlfriend.”

“We were trying to get you a friend-friend.”

“You’ve pushed away everyone else since Mom died. You talk to anyone or write to them.”

“So we found someone who you never met, so you wouldn’t be haunted by the time you spent with them and Mom.”

“Someone who into the same things, so you’d have plenty to talk about.”

“And some who was probably at least a little lonely too.”

“Not everything’s about romance Dad.”

And with the pressure off and the knowledge that they do understand, the dad does become friends with the Lady. He never dates or remarries, but that’s okay because he’s okay with it and not moping.  He helps the Lady when she gets married and they remain close friends.

Because that’s what he really needed.

One example of how an exchange with a spirit works for mutual benefit

As a spirit worker of some years of experience, this is how I would personally go through contacting a spirit in order to receive help from the spirit world.

PEN AND PAPER For a serious working I will take a piece of paper and write things down and organize them just as if I was planning them for a spell. What I want to happen, what I would not like to happen, and so on. Then I will also plan my offerings to the spirit. This does not always mean physical items like candles, incense, or bread. This can regularly mean offerings of service. For example some nature spirits may request you spend a certain number of hours doing litter removal or conservation work. Another type of spirit may request that you make a post about it, to increase its fame so it may work with more humans. An important part of this step is what you are not willing to give. 

If I am in a more informal setting or doing a less serious act of magic I will often do this phase of planning in my head.

PREPARATIONS Depending on the type of spirit being called there must be certain preparations in place. For a certain type of ritual (which you can find under my articles tag called “spirit worker’s spell”) I will call the quarters and see which spirit of the elements is best suited for the job. To prepare for that I would want my ritual tools to represent the quarters as well as a simple offering to thank the spirits for showing up. If it were a Goetic demon there would be very formal preparations, for example. Just be prepared for your guest.

In general: Work in nature or a clean space (clean space = respectful of your guest). Incense is nice because it is pleasing, especially if you can determine a scent your guest might like. In my path it is polite to have a simple offering of incense to thank a guest just for arriving. Then if you anticipate the spirit will require other physical offerings, have them close at hand. Also have things you regularly rely on such as your grimoire, tarot deck for communication, and so on.

Extra Safety: Work within magic circles. Cast one around yourself with the specific intent to keep out all negative energies and any spirit which wishes you harm or ill-intent. Then, summon the spirit in to a second protected circle, from which it may return home but otherwise cannot leave. (This is assuming the spirit is summoned, as opposed to walking up to it in nature and saying hello). Besides your magic circle have with you a strong amulet of protection (excellent practice if you don’t have one yet!!) and special banishing and “emergency” tools like banishing powders, flying devil oil, salt, and highly uplifting and banishing incenses such as frankincense, rosemary, and bay leaf.

If I am doing a very serious spell I will take a full purifying bath. In general I make sure to never go in to spirit communication with too much “gunk” on me and I often do small or large purifying rituals before spirit work. If your spirit contact made you feel uneasy in any way, consider a purifying and protective bath afterwords (try rosemary, bay leaf, and a heap of basil in salt water!).

CONTACT If I am seeking the help of a specific nature spirit I will go to that place and simply say hello and initiate conversation. Another way to work with nature spirits is having a piece of that natural thing, like some bark, a stone from a mountain, or a jar of water. Use this smaller element to contact the larger spirit! The way I perceive spirits is through the platform of my imagination. A being will appear in my mind’s eye, and I will speak to it through words, visions, and feelings. Other people will have different experiences. “Seeing spirits” is a Golden Standard ™ that distracts people from real communication. A big hint for me is that the energy changes around me when a “real” spirit is near. I really recommend just talking with plants and stones and trees to learn what spirit communication is for you. Don’t compare your experiences to that of others. Don’t you want your own beautiful and unique way speaking with spirits, true to you and your true nature?

If I am instead summoning a spirit I will go through the steps to do that. Usually I can feel the energy change around me before I perceive the spirit. Nature spirits can still be dangerous but especially if summoning ensure you have the proper protective steps such as those mentioned in italics above.

PLEASANTRIES I don’t go straight to business unless I am working with an entity who is known for not liking small talk. I don’t sit down and have a cup of coffee with a spirit and catch up about the kids, but I introduce myself with my magical name, say why I have asked them to come, and ask them if they are agreeable to continue. Sometimes spirits will have certain questions, such as, “why am I in this circle?” I will answer honestly (don’t lie!!!!) and say, “this circle is for my personal protection.” Often, spirits congratulate my forethought on safety. Another spirit may ask if they may first have a glass of water, which is alright by me. I do consider it a red flag if a spirit asks for a big offering right away, as this is not proper protocol. Just as we treat them with etiquette, they should treat us with etiquette.

At this time I also begin reading this spirit in a polite way (not trying to force my way in to their mind; like reading body language). I want to know if the spirit is uncomfortable or gives of bad vibes, or if they seem pleasant and helpful. To do this I pay special attention to my emotions and “back of the mind” thoughts that often slip by unnoticed.

In general once the spirit has finished asking questions, if they even have any, most seem willing to get right down to work. This is after all a business meeting.

THE CONTRACT I will state plainly what I wish to be done. There is no need to say why; I don’t think it’s the spirit’s business, and I don’t think most would care! “I need to ensure my credit card is paid off by June.” “I need my friend’s day at work to go smoothly and quickly.” “I need a teacher in meditation.” Whatever it is I have to say I am clear about it, using carefully thought out language so I am not confusing or vague in the slightest.

There’s a caveat I put in, somewhere, along the line. It sounds like this: “If you are able to accomplish this task for me, then…” You want to make sure you actually state that you expect RESULTS. Anyway, moving on.

Right away, without pause, I roll in to what I have to offer the spirit. If I am working with a certain spirit or type of spirit I have worked with before and I know what they usually like I will come out and say, “I have prepared for you the best wine and cakes” or whatever. Otherwise I will say, “I wish to know what I may pay you in return for this great service.”

This is the moment the spirit may reject this contract. If they have heard what you want and aren’t interested in helping, they’ll make it known to you and either leave immediately or wait for you to say goodbye. Sometimes your first offering wasn’t what they were looking for and that “hold up” feeling you are experiencing could just be the spirit looking for something else. If you get this “woah pause” feeling, try asking the spirit if it prefers a different payment and go from there.

Spirits are sometimes quite clear in what they want in terms of offerings and will tell me immediately, perhaps through a vision of what they want to occur, or maybe through words. Other spirits are a little more reserved and want to know their options; obviously I can’t offer everything, so what’s on the table?

NEGOTIATE In general we settle what the payment is quite quickly. Then comes the negotiation! You are in a business deal. Unless you’re working with some high level systems that tell you otherwise, never give the entire payment up front. If I expect this task to be performed quickly, in a matter of days or a week or two, I say I will give a small offering now to thank them for their arrival, and the full payment will be delivered when the task has been complete. Spirits so far have not had a problem with this. Sometimes I feel reservation as the spirit thinks it through. Don’t worry if you get “pause” emotions or messages like this. You are communicating with another being. Give them space to think.

If you’re asking for something that will take a while to manifest, work out a payment plan. “I propose that I will give you a portion of this payment every time I see X manifest. Is that agreeable to you?” and let them respond. Most spirits I work with tend to prefer simpler arrangements. They will tell you what they can deliver, and expect fair pay for it. A spirit may request payment on a time table (such as partial payment once a week) and I find this to be an alright deal as long as I see results manifesting. Like put your foot down. You are expecting something out of this… you are paying for a job to be done.

Talk about what might happen if the job is not done. In general I just consider all terms to be broken and we walk away. Don’t go in to punishment land. If the spirit fails to uphold their end of the job, their payment is denied. Walk away. On the other hand, if they do the job and you don’t pay…. that’s a whole other ball game. PAY THE SPIRITS. Like omg don’t even go there.

Once the payment has been agreed on, and the payment method has been agreed on, I proceed to the “handshake deal.”

BROKERING THE DEAL No need to sign contracts in blood. You can, however, have a written contract which I think is a great idea, especially for longer “jobs”. Write out the terms clearly. Sign your magical name, then ask the spirit to put its energetic imprint on the page as a symbol of your deal. I rarely bother to do this but it may be preferable for some people.

Generally, I just say, “I am Crann, offering you X and Y payment to help me get my credit card paid by June. I will pay you in full once the job is complete in June. Do you accept this agreement?”

I will then get a word of “yes” or “I agree”, or a vision of a handshake or some other symbol which means “we are in a contract”, or an emotion of acceptance.

SAYING GOODBYE Once the deal is done I often light a candle and incense in honor of the deal agreed upon. I ask the spirit to stay and enjoy the incense as long as it wishes to, which usually is not long. I usually ground out right away by cooking, watching television, and talking to friends.  

MONITORING THE DEAL I will keep an eye on things and make sure it all seems to be going according to plan. If it’s an “easy” deal I generally expect to see results immediately; within the day or so. If it’s a big working with big goals I would not be surprised if I had to wait many days or even a period of weeks before I see the results I desire. However, in my opinion there should be signs your spirit agreement is working out. If you make an agreement with a spirit and within a week or two nothing is really happening, there is a possibility that spirit was taking advantage of you or something in your contract imploded.

PAYING THE SPIRIT When the correct time(s) come I will do a small ritual to give payment, partial (according to a ‘payment plan’) or whole, to the spirit. I will typically use a candle as a monument to the occasion as well as pleasing incense. If it is a physical offering I will present it and call the spirit and ask it to partake of its payment. If it is a nonphysical offering I will contact the spirit and tell them I am going to begin my end of the payment, and they can expect to see my end of the deal be performed shortly.

Once you believe you have fully paid the spirit, contact the spirit again and ensure that everything is even-Steven. If it is a physical offering ask them, “are you satisfied and pleased with this agreed upon payment?” Don’t let a spirit weasel you in to even greater payments; if you provided what you agreed upon, you are good. If it is a nonphysical offering I believe it’s good to check in just to make sure there is no misunderstanding of what you are supposed to provide, and to ensure that you are carrying out your payment as you need to.

Here’s a word of advice: Don’t forget to pay them. If you are neuroatypical like me, if you forget things, if you get distracted, if you cannot GUARANTEE you will give the payment, don’t enter in to contracts. Use alerts on your phone, journals, calendars, written contracts, whatever you need to do to remember. But if you are at risk of not remembering, don’t make deals.

BITS AND BOBS There is a fine line when it comes to working with spirits that make you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes a being is just so powerful that our little instincts go AHHHHHH and that’s not necessarily negative. But then sometimes, the spirit does mean us malicious intent and the feelings can be similar. In general I would just advise people to work with spirits that do not give them any feelings of discomfort; many of these spirits exists, and there are times to work with more intimidating spirits up ahead :)

You do not need the MOST POWERFUL ULTRA MEGA SPIRIT to get the job done. The more powerful a spirit is, the more you will have to pay it, and the more experience you will need to manage your encounters with it so you remain safe (this doesn’t even mean negative entities… encountering a huge power wave from a positive entity is something you have to know how to control and handle. I have almost passed out from encountering powerful, positive energies.)

Think about nature. Do you need a problem swept away? Ask a stream spirit. Do you need something burned away? Ask a fire elemental. Do you need something glamoured? Ask a fae. Don’t start with encyclopedias of powerful, named spirits. Start small and local :)

If you need magic done, make a deal. But in general it’s really polite and positive and just a good thing to befriend spirits before you ask them for help. This is in my opinion only!!!! For example I have good connections with many species of magical plant spirits. I am known to them and they are known to me, and in the past some have state they will help me when I need it. If you are a stranger knocking on a door a spirit may help you for pay, but if you are knocking on a friend’s door in need, imagine how much better they may care for you and see your needs are met. This is also why it’s important to give back as much as you can. Take care of the spirit world and nature when you can, and be polite and respectful as often as you can. The spirit world really does take notice.

I can’t even be upset that you don’t care about me too because you were never mine to care about to begin with…
—  Confessions of a party girl

Parents didn’t always read the orientation material.

There were a few, every year.  They insisted on helping the new students move into the dorms.  They sent boxes from home, full of cookies or brownies or favorite munchies.  They called frequently (it wasn’t safe.  Letters were safer, e-mail was safer, even texts were safer, but calls not so much.)  They begged for pictures, for visits, and sometimes they accidentally-on-purpose “just happened to be in the area”.

The staff tried to deal with parents.  Oh how they tried.  Usually it worked.  The Gentry almost never kept parents.

But some… some parents never left.

She had taken piano lessons when she was younger.  Her parents approved:  that was a womanly decorative thing to do.  She had never played sports, because that wasn’t a womanly decorative thing.  She wore dresses.  She took ballet, she sang, she painted. Her parents told her every day in every way who they thought she should be, and she tried, she really did.

She was tired of not being good enough.  

She applied to Elsewhere, and got a full music scholarship, and carefully out of sight in the shower she sobbed with relief and fear.  Her parents loved her, they really did, they told her so.  The disappointment at her, the silent treatment, the confinement and not being allowed out with her friends… well, they were just trying to protect her, right?  They didn’t know the bubble wrap they tried to put around her was smothering her.  

She read the orientation paperwork, every single scrap.  She wanted to do everything right, because the thought of doing it wrong terrified her.  Even the strange stuff, maybe especially the strange stuff, because everything in life was a test, another opportunity to disappoint.

“As an environmentally-conscious measure, Elsewhere University’s campus is not set up to allow automobile traffic.  For those students who need transportation help, there are staff with golf carts available, as well as a series of campus shuttles that make regular stops.  Bicycles are available for rent by the hour, the week, or the semester.  Skateboards and skates are permitted but proper safety gear must be worn.”

Father was angry when campus security wouldn’t let him drive straight to her dorm.  She trembled.  Always, when Father was angry, somehow either she or Mother paid.  He fumed while waiting for a golf cart, he clenched his jaw when the staff member driving the golf cart refused to simply step aside and hand over the keys, he was elaborately careful when helping load her things after being refused a campus map.

Her dorm was a solid brick building, a pleasant generic institutional place.  Father insisted on carrying her things up to her room, on the second floor.  "So I know where my little girl will be,“ he said. His anger cooled a little with the exertion, down to its usual simmer.

It only took a few trips to get all of her things upstairs.  Father insisted on a hug, just on the edge of being painful as his hugs always were.  She endured it, because trying to get away always earned a lecture.  "I love you so much, you’ll always be my little girl, you are a disappointment because you don’t love me as much as I love you, but I will forgive you because I am better than you.”

“Elsewhere University wishes to be the beginning of a new life for every student.  We ask that students choose a nickname, in order to facilitate this feeling of a new beginning.  Common nickname categories are an interest, a favorite song or work of art, an aspiration, or a personal quality.  It is our firm belief, demonstrated by decades of successful graduates, that this practice allows students the freedom to really expand their horizons and demonstrate both their personalities and their capabilities both actual and potential.  In support of this practice, we ask that legal names not be used on campus except with the Student Services or Records and Enrollment offices.”

The driver helped as Father made one last check to be sure nothing had been left.  He reminded her to call twice a week.  He hugged her again, ignoring the gasp she made as he let go.  "Remember to call your Mother, Susan.  You’ll always be her little girl, and you know how she worries.“

“I will, Father.”

The driver watched, waiting patiently while Father said his good-byes, then cleared his throat.  "Sir, if you want to attend the parent orientation, we need to be going.“  

"Yes, I’d planned on attending.  I need to know everything, to help keep my Susan safe.”  Father climbed aboard, and the driver waved as they left.  For an instant his hand seemed to have too many fingers.

She felt eyes on her as they drove away.

She climbed the stairs back to her room, looking forward to taking her shoes off and unpacking.  The door, locked when she left it, was still locked, but now there was a pile of stuff underneath the open window.  

“Hey!  Sorry I wasn’t here when you were bringing stuff up, he looked a bit intense, oh hey are you ok?”  The girl on the tree branch outside the window climbed in and sat on the windowsill.

She nodded.  She locked the door behind her, then sat on one of the beds.

“I’m Magpie, second year, one of the stage monkeys for the theater.  You wanna see?  No obligation.”

“Yeah, I… I paint, a little.”

“You do?  Cool!  Hey, but if you want to go see, that outfit’s cute and all but it’ll get ruined pretty quick.”

“I’ve got some grubbies, let me unpack.”

Magpie grinned and pushed her hair behind one ear.  "Your dad isn’t one of those types who thinks he’ll be visiting every weekend, is he?  'Cause I can’t hide all the time.“

"I think he was heading to the parent orientation.”

Magpie blinked.  "Oh… kay.“

"What, okay?”

“There’s someone I want you to meet.  They go by Melanotis. They’ll tell you about the parent orientation.  Are you sure you’re ok?”  Magpie pushed her hair back again. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.  Why do you keep asking?”

“There is no parent orientation.  Here, take this.  No obligation.”  Magpie took a ring off of her index finger and handed it to her.  It was a puzzle ring made of iron and pyrite, and it fit her index finger as if it had been made for her.

“Thanks, but why?”

“My dad was like that, too.  What do you want to be called?”

The choice, the possibility of choice, was dizzying.  Something to hang onto… a favorite song.  "Call me Sussudio,“ she said, and smiled.

[x]