Think before you act. Sometimes, you are too impulsive and make decisions which can affect you negatively. Be selective of who you open to, but don't be scared to open up to people.
You are smarter than you think you are. Give yourself some credit and try not to be too harsh on yourself. Learn how to vent your anger in a healthy way for yourself and the people around you.
Make a concious effort to put your best in everything. Leave no room for messy work. Take charge of your own life and let go of others, especially toxic people who are getting you down.
You need to let things go and remove the guilt you always feel. You need to move in and leave things behind in times of distress. Try to be more confident and believe in yourself. You're stronger than you think you are.
You need to learn how to love yourself without the approval and flattery from other people. Stop heding from yourelf and let yourself shine, without worrying about what other people think. Try to keep an open mind in all aspects.
You need to understand that nobody is perfect and sometimes it's okay to ask for help when you need it. Embrace people close to you and be more charitable of their flaws. You also need to ube spontaneous once in a while.
You neeed to cut out toxic people from your life, for the betterment of yourself. You have to take charge of yourself and make decisions. However, try not be someone who you are not. You are going to just end up wasting your time.
Stop pushing people who love you away. You need to understand that relationships with other people are very important, and pushing people away will just hurt you. Try to admit when you're wrong. This will help you improve as a person.
Stop biting off more than you can chew. This can make you very overwhelmed. Make fewer plans and stick by it. If something really bothers you, talk about it and let it out. Find your balance in your life.
You need to trust others and open up about your emotions. Let them know how you feel, and people will appreciate you in return. Sometimes, you also need to take some risks once in a while.
Don't bottle up your emotions inside. It isn't good for your health. Be honest more often, even though it can be hard. Start to embrace people as they are and your life will improve tremendously.
You need to reliaze you're not alone. There are a lot of people who go through the same thing as you do. Don't feel like you are burdening others with your problems. You are allowed to have friends.
My country is celebrating 100 years of independence this year and we are also achieving marriage equality on the 1st of March. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate our achievements as a nation than celebrating equality and human rights. Congratulations, Finland, may there be many more victories such as this and may your freedom last a thousand years!
(yes, the Finnish flag appears backwards because she’s waving it around)
• It’s nobody’s fault. It is genetic. It just happened.
• Do not be too proud or stubborn to ask for help. You need it.
• Brush your teeth and wash your face (even just with a baby wipe) everyday if you’re able to do so. It makes you feel more human.
• Shower or bathe whenever you are able to. Good personal hygiene is good for your mental health.
• Some people will leave. You don’t need those people. Others will stay and they are wonderful human beings.
• You are not a burden. You are not useless. Do not be guilty. Please. Guilt will eat your insides.
• You have not lost who you are. You just now have to make adjustments to accommodate this new thing.
• Accept the fact that you have an illness. Being in denial will only make your mental and physical health worse.
• Clean pyjamas are a divine gift. As are clean bedding and blankets.
• Self care is entirely subjective. If you want to do yoga then do it, if you wanna sit and eat takeout in front of the TV in a squirtle onesie then that’s fine too. Whatever makes you feel good, or at least better.
• If you are tired then rest. Do not burn yourself out. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, if you need a nap then you have one.
• Talk. Write. Sing. Paint. Draw. Dance. Do something to express your feelings. Don’t keep them inside. You’ll explode.
• Don’t worry if you can’t adjust right away. It takes time. A lot of time.
• Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed. Unfortunately illness often has embarrassing symptoms or such. It isn’t your fault. People who allow you to feel embarrassed about such things are terrible people.
• Keep your sense of humour. Some days it’s the only thing that gets you through.
• There will be good days. Grab them with both hands and enjoy them. Savour them. Spend them doing things you love, things that you can’t do on bad days.
• Prepare yourself to the best of your ability. Like…always have a hospital weekend bag packed for emergencies, keep a bed day drawer or bag near to where you sleep, have food or snacks close by, always have a water bottle…
• Take your meds. Please. If you have a serious illness for the love of god don’t listen to the “big pharma” conspiracy theorists. You need your meds. They keep you alive. They enable you to function.
• Research your illness. Keep yourself informed. But don’t dwell on what might happen. Please don’t scare yourself.
• It’s okay not to feel positive all the time. It’s okay to feel down. It’s perfectly natural. But try to be as positive as you can. For your own sake.
• Your own health comes first. It’s not selfishness it’s survival.
• Be kind to yourself.
• The bad days can be horrific but the good ones are beautiful, and so worth holding on for.
A Note on Reblogging (Your Own Fic/Art/Stuff/Etc.)
Look, here’s the deal with tumblr: it moves fast. A lot of people follow enough blogs that scrolling through one’s entire dash is impossible. I remember the days when I could wake up in the morning and scroll back to the last post I saw before bed. Sweet, summer child.
Here’s the other deal with tumblr: I see so much anxiety about reblogging one’s own stuff, be it art; analysis; fanfiction; hell, personal posts and replies. I have (and continue to feel deeply) that anxiety. Every time, my inner critic and I go through the same song and dance.
Critic: You look like you’re begging for notes/replies/reblogs. People will think you’re needy/full of yourself/have to be the center of attention. You already have a few notes, why do you need more? Other people have it worst than you. Ugh, you’re just clogging the dashes of your followers. If they wanted to read it, they’d have read it already.
Me: *ball of anxiety* You’re right. Wait, no you’re not. Wait, maybe you are. Wait, no—
I’d say it’s 50/50, even now, that I’ll reblog myself.
And you know what? Fuck that.
Not everyone can get through their dash in a sitting.
Timezones are a thing.
Work hours are a thing, also affected by timezones.
Life away from tumblr is a thing (what??? I know).
There are so many reasons a person might not see your fic/art/stuff the first time. Reblog it the next day. Reblog it a week from now. Hell, set up a schedule or a queue and have it reblog itself three months from now. Go back through old fics and reblog the ones you really liked; I guarantee you have followers who are new enough to have never seen it or who would like to reread it.
Be proud of the work you do.
Oh yeah, I felt that resistance from here.
Say it again. Out loud. Write it on a post-it note and stick it where you’ll see it.
Be proud of the work you do.
You wrote/made it for a reason. And yeah, part of that reason was probably to share it with other fans. Otherwise, why post at all? I know. Man, I get it. I’m cringing even writing that. The fucked-up “don’t show off” mentality runs deep, right?
Fuck that, too.
If you have followers who unfollow you because you’re reposting your stuff (and this is hard to prove, remember; maybe they quit tumblr, maybe their interests diverged from yours, whatever), who cares? Let them go. For everyone who leaves you, many will stay. And many will be happy to see that thing they missed because of work, life, sleeping. Especially if you follow a few points of tumblr/dash etiquette:
Use cuts/read mores for anything longer than a few hundred words (I tend to cut at about 400-500 words, though if something’s under about 700 I might leave it).
Reblog at reasonable intervals (day/evening, next day reblog, etc. Hourly might be a bit much ;D).
casual, friendly reminder that if you feel like you’re “faking” being trans/nonbinary because you didn’t really question your gender until recently, you’re good
we don’t all get to grow up around informed or accepting people
being drowned in cis-hetero normativity makes it difficult to realize you could be anything other than what’s been fed to you your entire life….and even more difficult to accept it once you start questioning yourself
sometimes you need more time asking questions and appreciating other people who have already accepted their gender/sexuality to understand and feel comfortable with yourself
but once you do figure out exactly where you fit and find other people who respect and love you for who you are, it’s the most calming and beautiful feeling
Hi hello, so South Korea just had a bad earthquake in Pohang and thankfully, there hasn’t been any casualties reported so far. But I wanna take a moment to remind everyone that while it’s completely okay to worry about your favorite idols, you guys need to remember there are other people who live in that country too. South Korea isn’t just Kpop idols. It’s not just BTS or EXO or Twice. There is an entire nation of strong people who will suffer during any disaster. So if you only worry whether your faves are okay, you’re completely disrespecting the Korean people and culture.
I saw a similar thing happen with the news of the civil agreement (I can’t remember the actual name) between China and South Korea. When I heard the news, I was absolutely overjoyed for several reasons, but mainly bc if a war were to break out between North Korea and everyone else, China would have South Korea’s back. But my friend was super excited because “this means Lay can come back to EXO!!!!!” And while yeah, that’s really great and exciting, they completely ignored what this meant for the people of Korea and the people of China as well.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is, if you guys are going to call yourself stans of so and so group, you need remember to be conscious of the place they live in and the people who surround them. If you’re going to be a Kpop stan, you need be aware and have sympathy for not just your faves, but the great people of South Korea too.
If someone comes knocking on your door to campaign for the no vote in the plebiscite consider this: wasting their time by letting the conversation go on and on and on. Just take up as muuuuchhh of their time as possible. That way they can reach less people in a day, their message doesn’t effect your outcome, and any nearby on the fence neighbours won’t get swayed by their bullshit discrimination campaign.
this is a long, heavy post, but ive wanted to make it for a while. i hope if you or someone you know has been in an abusive situation, it may help.
when you are abused, the true ramifications of this abuse do not manifest themselves until you are much older.
when you are abused (in any form) as a young person, your first gut instinct will be to turn down therapy/counselling. you might do this because you do not feel you need it, or you do not want to talk about what happened. you need to push past this.
when we experience abuse as young people, we may feel like it was ‘no big deal’. we may compare ourselves to other victims and feel that we are not as bad as them, so that means we are okay. you may feel okay. you may be a young person reading this right now, thinking ‘well, i feel okay.’
i know you do. we all feel like that we’re younger.
you will get older and your untreated abuse will manifest in your life, your body and your emotions. you may develop terrible habits. your body may start to react in strange ways. you may have to struggle with seemingly unexplained bouts of nausea and vomiting as a reaction to ‘normal’ events that have connections to your abuse. you may develop mental health issues and will not understand why. you may grow angry and withdrawn, or deeply depressed for seemingly no reason.
then on one terrible night, you will connect the dots and realise that although you felt invincible as a young person, your abuse affected you.
if therapy is offered to you or you can find it, go to it. abuse does not go away or magically resolve itself. no amount of pretending you are okay will take away what happened. it may hurt to revisit our old wounds, but it is the only way to heal.
it is never to late to heal. if you are an adult who refused therapy and you are struggling, get yourself there, find help, and heal. and if you are a young person reading this, please strongly consider therapy, even if you do not feel you need it.
even if you feel like your abuse did not affect you, let people in. give yourself the chance to heal. do not let your abuser take even more of your life than they already have.
i’m proud of you for staying alive. and i’m grateful. i don’t think that gets said enough, but thank you for taking care of yourself. thank you for doing the hard stuff. thank you for making yourself live even when it felt like living was the worse of the options. thank you for fighting. and thank you even if it’s ugly and doesn’t feel good and barely even looks like recovery. relapse happens. i’ve been where you are. people like you pulled me out. thank you for pulling me out. and know that if you need a hand i’m here and so are so many other people who have seen into the night and know what it feels like when it bites. so just. thank you for being alive.