you were with me

I like stars more than anything else. I watch them as I fall asleep and wonder who lives on them and how to get there. The night sky looks so friendly with all those little twinkling eyes.

— Snufkin, Comet in Moominland

therapeople: *take away disabled people’s control over their lives to the point where any tiny thing and any tiny amount of power the disabled person has is a Big Deal*

therapeople: *demonstrate that they can, without even thinking much about it, wield their absolute power to control anything in a person’s life, no matter how trivial and petty, no matter how important to the person and unimportant to the theraperson*

therapeople: he just threw a tantrum about goldfish crackers!!! goldfish crackers. wtf. ridiculous. he has control issues… we must fix them by teaching him we will NOT let him control things… 

i hate that on social media, your username is still the nickname i gave you.
the one i made up
that you said made no sense but used anyways
that your friends began to recognize, too
i hate that you got a t-shirt with it on the back
and whenever i see you wearing it it’s like a punch to the gut

i hate that our mutual friends had to choose between us
and i hate that most of them chose you

i hate that you don’t acknowledge that anything’s changed
that it’s almost spring but we won’t go on our usual walks this year
i hate that it doesn’t bother you

i hate that i bought your birthday gifts but they arrived too late for your birthday
and once they finally got here, i forgot them at home
and didn’t manage to get them to you
and it was only a week after you stopped talking to me that i finally remembered them
i hate that they still sit there on my desk
so fucking painfully hopeful
i hate that i don’t either throw them out or give them to you
as if i can pretend that everything’s still the same
and i’ll write a nice card and hand them to you in a couple days

i hate that sometimes i forget we don’t talk anymore
and i will catch myself mid-movement or mid-word
and i have to cut it off with a jerk.
i hate that i try to forget the taste of your name
and i hate that i can pretend that my mind will forget you
but i know my body never will
i hate that i have to remember and feel the pain all over again
fresh, like it’s new
again and again and again

i hate a lot of things about our breakup
so many goddamn things
but the only thing i can’t manage to hate
despite how much i try

is you.

—  HATE // H.S.

i think some communication difficulties, prompt responsiveness/dependence and executive function shit can be interrelated 

cuz they can all be related to like trouble remembering that making decisions/effecting what happens is a thing you can do, trouble figuring out how to make decisions, trouble remembering why you’d want to be making decisions anyway 

w/ communication the decisions one is making have to do w/ the decision to communicate info, the decision to not communicate info, decisions about which info to communicate

of course this is worsened b/c ppl like to make all disabled people’s decisions for them (or like “you can only make choices when i *give* you choices, tell you to choose”. dave hingsburger talks about how we talk about giving choices and not respecting choices… ppl need to be able to decide to decide), not give them time to make even small decisions about eg how to answer a question if they have a processing delay and need longer, deliberately take advantage of inertia/”behavioral momentum”, deliberately teach that trying to effect what happens is futile by “not giving in to/reinforcing behaviors” “we can’t let him win” giving false choices and setting things up so attempting to make choices the abled person doesn’t like is as futile as possible … it can really fuck you up 

I talked to this greek guy on the train back from the patd show and he looked like Ryan Ross and he was trying to remember who patd was so I sang I write sins at midnight on the train for Greek Ryan Ross and it was a good time

During a meeting with Chinese executives yesterday I forgot it’s not normal to kiss people you just met in China, and straight up embraced the only dude (a VERY IMPORTANT executive) who was about my height and kissed his cheek like it was nothing and the guy FROZE in my arms. And I was like–well shit I hope I didnt just cost my boss his arrangement.

It was all kinds of awkward, hilarious, and horrifying.

3

the most romantic interaction i’ve ever had in skirmish: when enemy genji used swift strike on me, then ran to a health pack and shot shurikens at it, telling me to use it

also if you’re making ppl’s decisions for them and b4 ya make a decision 4 someone you make them tell you all their feelings about the decision and decide which of their feelings are okay and then you make the decision and brag about how much you involve your patients in the decision making process or whatever… you’re still making all their decisions for them 

4

EP 12: Yuuri’s Exhibition Gala + the pair skating we all wished for

Kitty was trying to be smooth (again) but the Princess knows all of his tricks. 

She is not going to fall for any, Chat. Maybe you should change your ways…

…altho who knows. There are many ways to fall.

Dupain-Cheng 6 - Agreste 1