Lately my lips, they dont feel like mine. I miss you. I miss your walk, your annoying whistle that you do when you get home from work. I miss your stupid questions like whether fish understand english or not, that you felt the need to ask at 1 am. I miss your smell, the way you pour your cereal before the milk or how you hate it when i give the dog more attention than you. He misses you too by the way. Mostly i miss your kindness, you were my personal source of joy and wellbeing that i didn’t realize how much i needed till it got up and walked out the door behind you. I miss the way you would talk really slow, it made me hang on your every word.
I however don’t miss the fights, the way you would come home at 3 am smelling of beer and burnt cigarettes. I don’t miss the feeling of ache that spread in every inch of my being when you left. I don’t miss the sleepless nights i sat there, staining your old shirt that you left behind with hot tears and self doubt. I don’t miss the feeling of knowing this would never last, regardless of all of the love that was shared both physically and mentally, you were a wildfire and I was an ocean and one of us wasn’t willing to extinguish for the other.