you were so blind

your existence still bends to me into a question mark. were you even real to begin with? when you love someone too much every sunset ends with a smile and every sunrise starts with a goodbye. but the pillow is always there to hold us when we can’t make things right with each other. your memory is another breath i take and your smile another light i see. i wish i could have more you and less rain but the sky is crying so loudly blinding my tears. the difference between you and dreams is a thin line i can’t define. i still see you between red and blue. i still see you between shadows and lights. i still see you between music and silence. i still see you between books and reality. i still see you but were you even real to begin with?
—  k.m

life update: FINALLY SAW MOONLIGHT AND IT WAS SO MUCH

Colours

Liam Dunbar X Reader

Word Count: 494

Requested: Anon

Request: Could you do a teen wolf imagine where the reader is blind, but she almost died so she had to get the bite and when she wakes up she can see but she starts freaking out because she’s never been able to see before and liam(her boyfriend) comforts her and calms her down and when she calms down he starts to teach her the colors. Thank youuu😘

Originally posted by kawaiixliam-blog

You closed your eyes but you wouldn’t have known that you were blind, so as you can imagine it was damn scary when you could suddenly see everything, you actually thought you were dead, you knew by sight, sound that this was your room but this was the first time that you had seen it. It was plain you had no reason to decorate.

Liam must have heard your elevated heart beat while the others were busy arguing about what to do if you didn’t survive the bite and whether or not you’d have your eyesight back because based on the track record werewolves couldn’t heal their eyes. He walked into your room and realised that you were awake and freaking out “(Y/N)?” he called gently walking to stand in front of you.
“Liam?” You asked.
“Yeah?” he asked sitting next to you, you reach out and touched his face, you
“Am I dead?” You asked.
“No.” he answered.
“Why can I see you, my room, my hands.” he heard your heart speed up again and took your hand in his and run his thumb over your knuckles.
“We had to make a choice… You were dying so Scott gave you the bite, your eyes healed along with everything else and now you can see.” Liam explained.
“So I’m a werewolf?” You asked looking at him, he nodded and you slid your legs swung round so that you could sit next to him, after a moment of silence you spoke again. “I’m not angry.”
“You not?” Liam asked.
“No, it’s a lot to take in but you know, but I can see for the first time in my life I can learn what letters and numbers look like and I can learn what colours are.” You smiled, you suddenly leapt forward and wrapped your arms around his neck and he grabbed you around the waist pulling you over into a hug.
“Do you want to go see the others?” Liam asked.
“Are they here?” You asked.
“Of course.” Liam smiled and you stood up racing down the stairs to see everyone.

This whole being able to see thing was easy to explain because your parents were involved in the supernatural world, they were the only reason that you had met the pack in the first place and so now Liam spent his time teaching you numbers, letters and colours. You were sat in your room with a book in front of you Liam behind you as he taught you different colours. “So do you have a favourite colour?” Liam asked resting his chin on your shoulder.
“Yeah.” You nodded. “It was the first colour I saw.”
“Really, what one?” Liam asked.
“You’re blue.” You answered.
“My blue?” Liam asked looking over you.
“Yeah, your eyes, that blue.” You smiled and he smiled back.
“But we can’t paint your room my eye colour.” Liam smiled.
“Well, then I guess it’s (F/C) then.” You smiled.

Requests and general question!

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart :: Sentence Starters
  • "Just messing around."
  • "I thought we started over. Isn't this the starting over?"
  • "I was a coward."
  • "Why do you hate yourself?"
  • "You've got to be kidding."
  • "Do you believe in God?"
  • "Nothing penetrates my armor. Hadn't you noticed?"
  • "Damn. I thought it was working."
  • "You don't know me."
  • "I shouldn't do this."
  • "I know. I knew all along."
  • "I want to talk about it."
  • "I was a coward."
  • "I want things I can't have."
  • "You have crossed me. You will die if you cross me again."
  • "It's fucked up that I did all that. I'm sorry."
  • "Get out!"
  • "You've remembered."
  • "You've been crying."
  • "You don't like him."
  • "Do you even play handball?"
  • "She looks like you."
  • "If you're going crazy it's your own damn choice."
  • "I don't know what to tell you."
  • "Did you sleep in your clothes?"
  • "I can see the flames."
  • "Some people have nothing. We have everything."
  • "Nobody asked you."
  • "Why did you give away all your belongings?"
  • "Do you remember anything else?"
  • "I don't think I should talk about it anymore or I'll start crying again."
  • "We killed the dogs."
  • "I still don't remember what went wrong."
  • "I can't stay here with you."
  • "I shouldn't have kissed you."
  • "See you in a better world."
  • "You know what's terrifying?"
Somebody that I used to know - Charles Xavier

Prompt: The end of a relationship is never easy. Especially when you still feel something for the person you need to let it go.

Warnings: angst

N/A: this is my first one-shot with Charles Xavier, it’s almost like a test if I can really write with him. But I hope you can enjoy the reading.

ImagineDaily Masterlist )




ㅤㅤ Now and then I think of the days we’ve spent together, like when you said you felt so happy you could die. I was so glad to meet someone that could be by my side without judging who I really am. I told myself that you were right for me, but I felt so lonely in your company. Yes, Charles. You were so blind, as you got addicted to a certain kind of sadness. I was always there by your side, I just couldn’t bring myself the courage. I was addicted to your smile, trying to get a little bit of your attention and affection. But you grew distant, you became more and more inaccessible. I really tried, Charles. I tried to help you, in my innocent mind I believed I could take the weight off your shoulders. But you didn’t even notice that you couldn’t read my mind as before. Actually, sometimes I felt like you couldn’t notice me at all.

Keep reading

Honestly, I don’t know what’s worse.
The fact you broke my heart,
Or the fact that you didn’t even realise.
—  E.T // you were so blinded by her to even notice me

Originally posted by lucystillintheskywithdiamonds

Prompt:  Spock X reader where the reader is blind and asks to feel Spock’s face to know what he feels like? 
Word Count: 619
NaNoWriMo Word Count: 9633/50,000
Warnings:
Author’s Note: I remember in elementary school we had someone come in to speak about blindness and she said that the biggest misconception about blindness was that people always thought they only saw black when really it’s more of a grey or even white, like an absence instead of nothing. I didn’t have a chance to add that fact so here it is!

Keep reading

We Weren’t Meant To Be

Alright, this is my first angst and non-Peter Maximoff imagine, tell me what you think! @tomhollahd @badassladysif @whoaheather @nerdylizabeth @emmcfrxst @quicksxlvers I DIDN’T KNEO WHO LIKED HARRY POTTER SO TELL YO HARRY POTTER FRIENDS! 


“This whole time you’ve still been in love with her… Not me.” + Ron Weasley

You were so blind. It was obvious but you never saw it, the longing stares at Hermione, the way he talked about her… You didn’t know how you were so damn stupid, that you didn’t notice that the clumsy Weasley wasn’t actually in love with you.

You dedicated your time to him, cancelling events with friends and going with his friends instead, even though it was clear that they would never accept you as one of them. But you loved him, so you stayed and pretended everything was okay, even though it wasn’t.

Your world came crashing down when you saw him, kissing Hermione as if it was the end of the world.

Love was evil. They would take your heart and raise it up for a little bit, then drop it on the floor and watch as your heart shattered.

You wanted to hate him. To kill him and to beat him up. But you couldn’t. You just couldn’t.

Eventually, they heard you and Hermione’s eyes widened as she saw your red and puffy face. Ron turned around, confused why the bushy haired girl looked paralized.

You just stood there, unable to move. Move, Y/N. Run away. So you ran.

It was times like these that apparation was extremely useful. You apparated back to your shared apartment with Ron and took all your items, quickly shoving them into a suitcase.

Then you stopped when you saw a picture of you and Ron, his arm around your waist and big smiles on both of your faces. But his smile was less genuine, it was forced. You dropped down to the floor. He never loved you. He never did.

“Y/N! I swear, it wasn’t what it-” Ron entered the room in a rush, panting heavily as he watched you cry.

“It wasn’t what it looked like? Oh, so you weren’t snogging her face off?” You sniffled and tried to wipe away your tears, but more tears just came. “Do you know how painful it is to hear those words? I-It fucking hurts, Ron. This whole time you’ve still been in love with her… Not me.”

He was quiet and looked down at his feet, unsure of what to do.

You suddenly felt enraged. “FUCKING LOOK AT ME, WEASLEY.   If you loved her, then why did you stay with me?”

Ron looked at you, guilt filling his eyes. “Y-You were so happy and I didn’t want to break your heart…”

It felt like someone stepped on your heart again and you laughed. You were so stupid. He was just dating you because he pitied you. Brilliant. “So it was all because of pity? Because you were scared that  my heart would break?! Well, guess what, Weasley? My heart’s not broken. I-It’s destroyed. I don’t think I have a heart anymore.”

He was guilty. Guilty that he caused all these feelings. He was going to break up with her, but he didn’t have enough courage to do it. Godric Gryffindor must be ashamed to have him in his house.

“Goodbye Ron. I hope you and Hermione are happy.” You finished packing and took your suitcase, walking out the front door.

He was free.

-

A year later, you got an invitation to Ron and Hermione’s wedding.

Exo reaction to them being flirted with during a date

/I decided to make this one shorter than the bts version, I hope you like it!/

BTS version

Baekhyun: *you both became quite uncomfortable by the girls obvious flirting*

“I think we should go.”

*you both leave and go home together and watch movies and cuddle*

Chen: *didn’t even give you a chance to leave, he just replied to the girls*

“Yes, I am hot and I’m taken.”

Chanyeol: *he would be a bit annoyed at the girls, but he wouldn’t show it he’d just hold your hand and keep walking with you*

D.O: *he’d be a mixture of Baekhyun and Chanyeol, he’d get a bit uncomfortable and just try to get the both of you out of the situation*

Kai: *he’d be annoyed that the girls could be so rude and blind to the fact you two were on a date*

“Could you please leave?”

Lay: *he was flattered by the girls, but annoyed that they interrupted your date*

“Thank you, but I’m on a date with my baobei, could you leave?”

Suho: *doesn’t know how to react*

“What?”

Sehun: *sassy af*

“Yes, I know I’m perfect, unlike you peasants.”

Xiumin: *he was visibly annoyed at the girls*

“Could you…not?”

/Hope you liked it! Feel free to leave requests! <3/

Yeo One - Good Morning

“hi!!!! can i request an early morning cuddles with yeo one type scenario??? thanks in advance, sorry if im bothering you!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡”

(A/N: You’re not a bother at all, I appreciate the request~ I made this a drabble since it was specifically focused on one thing, I hope that’s okay! If you were hoping for something different, please feel free to let me know ^^)

Your eyes fluttered open to a new morning, the sun held perfectly so that you were essentially blinded. Shifting away from the vicious sun, you closed your eyes again.

“Good morning,” you heard from a morning-voiced Changgu.
“Morning~” you mumbled back groggily.

He lazily wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close to him, resting his chin on the top of your head and sighing contentedly as he ran his fingers through your hair. Having had the blessing of waking up next to Changgu for a while, you had really become a morning person.

“Anything planned for today?” you asked, enjoying the gentle scalp massage.
“Same as every day,” he replied, moving so he could see your face.
“I figured… when do you get time off?”
“Mm.. maybe soon~”

That was good enough for you. He leaned over to place a kiss on your forehead reassuringly and you smiled.

“At least you get mornings off, huh?” you said.
“Even better that they’re spent with you,” Changgu smirked back.
“I can’t believe you just…”
“I love you!“

I Don't Care

*Requested: You arrive in the Glade and meet Newt who already has a girlfriend but starts to develop feelings for you although you click with Minho. When Newt approaches you with his feelings, you put him in his place.*

You opened your eyes and found yourself in darkness. You sat up and felt the pounding in your head immediately. You groaned and lay back down. And then sat up again because where the hell are you? You stood up and almost fell over from dizziness. You noticed that you were in a moving cage. That doesn’t make sense. What were you doing that got you here? Why can’t you remember?

“Y/N.” you croaked out and let out a big breath you had been holding in.

“Y/N. Y/N, Y/N.” you repeated and chanted your name as you paced back and forth in the cage. Where is it taking you? What is taking so long? Suddenly you were blinded by a light. You heard roaring and cheering as you squinted into the brightness.

“Welcome, Greenie.” a voice said and you saw a very tall boy.

“Gally.” he said and pulled you out of the cage and you were surrounded by a large group of boys.

“Another girl!” someone yelled and the crowd cheered like crazy. You suddenly heard incoherent screaming and saw a girl running towards you. She embraced you with so much energy you felt lightheaded again.

“I don’t know who you are, but welcome!” she said enthusiastically and you smiled weakly.

—-

You saw a few guys running in from the split in the wall.

“Those are Runners. There’s a Maze out there and they map it.” Newt explained as you walked around the Glade, taking a tour and learning jobs and names. The girl from before held Newt’s hand tightly and you smiled at the happiness in her eyes. You cast your glance over at the Maze and your eyes fell on a tall, muscular Asian boy.

“That’s Minho. Keeper of the Runners. Fastest and smartest shank in the Maze.” Newt said and your eyes stayed glued on Minho. He jogged closer to you three and stopped when he saw you.

“A girl Greenie? Wow.” he said and looked you up and down, giving an impressed expression.

“Y/N.” you said and met his gaze evenly.

“Minho. An absolute pleasure to meet another female shank. Doesn’t happen much around here. And this shank’s already taken her.” he said and gestured towards Newt and his girl holding hands.

—-

“Hi.” you said and sat down across from Minho who was stuffing his face with Frypan’s food.

“Hey.” he said and gave you a surprised look.

“What?” you asked and he swallowed his food.

“No, just I wasn’t expecting you to sit with me.” he said and you laughed briefly.

“I like you.” you said simply and began to eat your food. You could feel Minho’s eyes on you but ignored the feeling and kept eating.

—-

You knew that Newt was watching your every move with Minho. He has been for the past month and a half.

“What?” you confronted him one day and he snapped out of his stare.

You took him into the Deadheads and demanded an explanation as to why he was staring at you and your boyfriend Minho all the time.

“I’m jealous, okay? I like you, Y/N!” Newt exclaimed and you took a step back.

“You’re in a relationship.” you said and he sighed, running his hands through his hair.

“I know, but seeing you with Minho just does something.” he whispered and stepped closer.

You took yet another step back and crossed your arms.

“I don’t care. I really, really like Minho and I’m not letting your immature feelings get in the way of my one happiness in this shuck place.” you said and strutted back to where your boyfriend stood talking to Gally and you turned him around and kissed him deeply before walking off towards the Homestead.

That person you want to stay in your life but you don’t know how to keep. Because you’re insensitive and moody and so independent and been single for so long you doubt if their intention is real. You’re afraid to express your feelings despite how genuine they appear. You believe them for a second but those unwanted past keep coming back to remind you then you’re back to doubting again. Then came that moment when you realize the kind of love they offer is so huge you’re scared to accept. Esp when those past were so horrible and tragic you wonder if he’s kind of blind or crazy to choose you.

You want him to stay yet you pushed him away. You say you don’t care but when thoughts of another woman cloud your mind you panic. But despite the fear of losing him, your fear of being not good enough always prevail. You’ve been shattered into pieces and someone is trying to pick those pieces up to mend you again, while all you offer is cold shoulder. This is so hard.

—  chayenneson

@enchaxxted liked for a starter

“Look, how could you not have figured that the idiot liked you. The signs were all clear and yet you are so blinded by your hormones. I’m honestly disappointed in you.” Alex stared at the other person, biting back the laughter she wanted to so badly to release as she watched the stranger walk off in a pissed mood. She rarely let herself get involved with her friends little spats with their hook up buddies or whatever but clearly she couldn’t bite back her tongue anymore. 

War Time

John Laurens x Reader

TW: Blood descriptions


“Marcus! Look out!” you heard. You looked towards the voice wondering what was going on.

You saw the panicked face of John Laurens running towards you, before all of the sudden you felt something hit your side.

You hit the ground, feeling immense pain. Placing your hand on your abdomen you felt something warm and sticky covering your skin.

Holding your hand up you saw blood running down your wrist. Someone fell down next to you and started pressing on the wound.

“Stay with me Marcus! I’ll get you out of here!” John cried.

You felt yourself being picked up.

There was nothing else you could do anymore. Your vision was getting blurry, you were so tired.

Then, nothing.
~~~~
“What happened?” you mumbled as blinding light shone into your vision.

“You’re awake.”

You looked to your right, seeing a messy and tired John Laurens sitting on a stool next to you.

“What’s going on? I can’t remember anything,” you told him, trying to sit up.

John jumped up and gently pushed you down.

“No, don’t get up. You’ll rip your stitches.”
He laid you down and grabbed another washcloth, placing it on your forehead.

“Is the battle over?” you asked him. “Did we win or lose?”

“We won. It’s all over now. But you do have one thing to answer for.”

“What?”

“Your identity. You’re a woman.”

You froze on the table. He knew. You were found out.

You would die now.

“I-”

“What is your real name?”

It was more of a command than a question.

“It’s Y/N. I’m so sorry,”

“Save it. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

The two of you stayed silent.

“What’s going to happen to me know?”

“You’re going to be sent home. I’m sorry, but we can’t allow you to stay here. I can’t allow you to stay here.”

“What-”

“Dammit. I’m in love with you. Don’t you understand?”

What?

“Y/N, I’m in love with you. Please say some-”

You pulled him down by his collar and kissed him hard on the lips. His eyes were wide before he kissed you back.

“I love you too.”

When You Catch Kai Cheating On You

DISCLAIMER: I did not write this. The source is linked below :) Enjoy!

—————————-

Everything has an expiration date. This expiration date probably came too soon for your liking, but it happens, you know? Honestly it was bound to happen; you were pre-warned by friends and family. Blinded by his so called love for you, you ignored them. Dating an idol? Worse idea ever. You regretted it so much.

He took your heart already and every thought of yours belonged to him. Every breath escaping I love you’s, belonged to him. He captivated your heart and mind. But as you mentioned earlier, everything has an expiration date… including the love you shared with him. Did he really think he could get away with what he did? Yes he was an idol, but yes he was also a human being… surprise surprise. It didn’t excuse what he did behind your back. You were foolish to think you’d have that happily-forever-after with him. There’s no such thing. Goodbye forever, the dreams of marrying him, the future laughs you’d share together, all the memories you had with him… of him…

Goodbye forever, Exo K’s Kim Jongin.

-

“Where are you going? You didn’t eat dinner yet-” You look up at him and he walks over to kiss you on the forehead. His lips leave a burning mark on your forehead, telling your heart to race at indescribable speed.

“The practice room. I probably won’t be back until the morning.” He whispers and turns to leave for the door. He stops as he turns the knob and sighs heavily. “I love you, _____.” Before he was even able to leave the door, he makes his way back to the couch and presses a searing kiss on your lips. It lasted a while as he moved his lips hungrily against yours.

“J-Jongin..” His name escapes before he smirks and pulls away.

“I love you so much.” Your heart beat happily in your chest as Kai quickly left. How easy it was for him to get your heart racing like that… It couldn’t be helped that he had to go out and practice now; it was something you accepted being the girlfriend of an idol. You stand up to get something to eat when you notice he had left his gym bag by the door.

That idiot… He’s going to drive all the way to SM Entertainment and realize he doesn’t have his dance clothes with him. Maybe you’d fix him something to eat too. You smile to yourself and think about ways to surprise him; it had been a while since you’ve last visited him at the dance studio, and the other members as a mater of fact.

You regretted going. There was a much bigger surprise waiting for you there… that was for sure.

-

“Jongin? He’s practicing in the dance room right now, I think. Typical him to forget his things…” He smiles down at you as you grin. “You brought him dinner?”

“Yup.” You smile.

“Next time make me one, hm?” He laughs and you nod.

“Okay.” Baekhyun laughs before standing in front of a dance room. “He’s probably inside practicing anyways. Jongin! Kim Jongin!” Baekhyun calls loudly as he knocks on the door. “Your girlfriend has your gym bag and dinner for you!” He gives you a quick grin before patting your head and turning the other way. You don’t hear a response from Kai, but you walk in anyways.

If you had known today was the expiration date, you’d probably have prolonged it. Or maybe it was inevitable; you were bound to find out… better now than later, right? Did Kai just not hear Baekhyun at all? There he was, dancing in front of the mirror with another girl. She was pressing her body tightly to his as you stood there silently at the door.

Kai moved his body against hers and before you knew it, they were dancing pressed up against one another. M-Maybe they were just practicing a dance- That thought didn’t last long; The girl had backed herself into the practice room mirror, grabbing Kai’s jacket, pulling him close. He had the girl pinned against the mirror and you felt your stomach drop. Kai was kissing her. He was kissing her.

You couldn’t comprehend what was happening, but sharp pains were shooting everywhere, your chest throbbing in pain. Your head started to spin and your entire body felt cold.

“A-Ah… Jongin…” She mumbled quietly. “Stop… Th-There’s someone at the door.”

“Who cares?” Jongin smirks.

“J-Jongin! Th-That’s your girlfriend!” The girl shouts and shoves Kai away from her fast. He stumbles backwards as the girl runs over to you. She bows in a deep 90 degree angle and runs out of the room fast. You couldn’t even make eye contact with Kai. Was this what he was doing when he said he was going to practice at night? When he said he wasn’t going to be back until tomorrow morning?

He just kissed her with those lips. He had just kissed you earlier… You drop his gym bag, the bag of food in your hand also dropping. What could you possibly say to him? All you could do was let out a laugh. How gullible you were to believe the words coming out of his mouth: “I love you.” He said before he left home, I love you.

You laughed again before turning and beginning to stagger out the door. Anything he had to say, you wanted to ignore. Anything he could’ve possibly thought up to say to make you turn around… you didn’t want to give him a chance to do that. Kai didn’t say a word. You stumble down the hall, getting lost almost immediately without the help of one of the members.

“Noona? Noona, what are you doing all the way here? Did you come to see Jongin-hyung?” You look up to see none other than Sehun standing in front of you. “Noona, noona~” He coos cutely and smiles. “Are you tired? N-Noona say something…” Sehun bends down slightly as he shakes your shoulders slightly. “Are you okay?”

“S-Sehun.” You say his name before all your tears let loose. You cried silently, to the best of your ability you didn’t want anyone to hear you cry. You didn’t even want to cry in front of anyone. But that one question,are you okay, just made all your tears fall.

“Noona! D-Don’t cry! Oh god, hyung’s going to kill me for making you cry! Ah, what did I do?” Sehun reaches forward and embraces you tightly. “You can talk to me… Come here.” He leads you into one of the practice rooms, the both of you not realizing a set of eyes staring at the both of you from around the corner.

I’m sorry. He leans against the wall before turning back into the dance practice room, shutting it and locking the door behind him. Kai blasts the music and begins to dance alone. His dance movements slow down, his body feeling heavy as his knees hit the floor. He slowly crawls over to the mirror and leans against it. The face you made at him, it wasn’t leaving his head. The laugh you made when you saw him with that girl, it kept ringing in his ears. He shut his eyes and leaned against the glass, before bringing his knees to his chest and pressing his hands to his face. Kai let out a loud shout filled with rage and pain, but the music was loud enough to drown out his sorrows.

He wanted to scream, but couldn’t. He wanted to cry, but how could he after hurting you? He wanted you back, but you’d never return now. Oh god, I’m sorry. Kai rummages his hands through his hair before biting his lower lip. Tears finally trickled down his face as he shouted loudly, “I’m sorry, ______! Oh god, I’m so sorry…” He grabs at his chest and squeezes his eyes shut in pain before letting the heavy bass of the music take over him completely.

-

It was all a nightmare. One huge nightmare. The boy you loved for so long… the boy you wasted so much time thinking of… was cheating on you. Exo-K’s Kim Jongin. Did he ever truly love you? You opened your eyes with heavy lids, your eyes barely opening. They were so red from the crying, swollen to the point where it didn’t even look like you anymore.

You opened your eyes to an unfamiliar room as you looked around. It was a practice room. You jumped slightly when you heard the rustling noise beside you. You were leaning against Sehun’s shoulder all this time, the both of you on a small couch chair. He had his sweatshirt draped around you as he slowly opened his eyes.

“Noona…” He mumbles softly as you stand up and bow fast.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I-I don’t know what happened yesterday! I can’t remem-” Sehun rubs the back of his neck and stretches. “I-I didn’t mean to keep you here all night! Oh gosh, Sehun. You should’ve made me go home! I can’t-”

“It’s okay, noona. You were crying and whimpering all night… I wanted to be here for you.” Sehun stands and stretches a bit more before rubbing his neck. “Did… Did you have a fight with hyung?” He asks.

“I didn’t say last night?” You ask him quietly and Sehun shakes his head fast.

“You just kept crying. When I asked you what was wrong, you cried even more… S-So I just let you cry on my shoulder until you managed to cry yourself to sleep. Sorry, noona. Is your neck hurting from laying on my-”

“N-No! Not at all! I’m sorry, Sehun.. I shouldn’t have kept you here. You could’ve been back at the dorms sleeping… I-I’m going to go. I’m really sorry for keeping you here.” Sehun shakes his head. He helps guide you to the exit of the building before he takes your hand quickly. “Sehun..”

“Noona… Whatever’s wrong you can tell me, you know? I won’t tell anyone, I promise. I won’t tell anyone, I just don’t want noona to cry anymore…” Sehun says and you can’t help but smile. You reach up and ruffle his hair before giving him a quick hug.

“I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.” You smile and leave fast. Sehun returns back into the building and rubs his neck again. He knew something was wrong, but he didn’t want to pry. He makes himself to the dance room for an early practice and his eyes widened upon the sight of Kai laying on the floor.

“J-Jongin! Hyung! Hyung, are you okay?! Hyung!” Sehun runs over and kneels down fast before shaking Kai’s shoulders. “Hyung! Wake up!” Kai slowly opens his eyes to the loud voice and sits up. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here so early? I-I was just practicing late last night is all.” Sehun tilts his head slightly and narrows his eyes. “What?” Hyung, why are your eyes swollen too? Sehun thinks to himself before shaking his head.

“Hyung, did you and ______ fight last night?” Kai raises an eyebrow.

“What makes you think that?”

“She was crying and your eyes are swollen.”

“We’re over, Sehun. We’re not dating anymore if that’s what you’re trying to figure out. If she cried, then… I hope she doesn’t show her face here anymore. It just means she really hates me now.” Kai laughs quietly before touching his own swollen eyes. “It’s for the best, Sehun. Don’t pry anymore into my personal life, okay? Here, take the practice room. I’m leaving.”

-

-

Three months passed… you were doing fine on your own really. You had another boyfriend, not that he lasted. To be quite honest with yourself, you probably still had lingering feelings or Kai. That bastard who cheated on you with that girl dancer. You’d never forgive him. In the end he didn’t even try to defend himself. That was probably the worst part. The Exo-K members called you many times, desperate to get in contact with you to no prevail. The Exo-M members even began trying to call you. You’d wish they would stop… How were you supposed to forget about Kai? You picked up every time and when they questioned what had happened between the two of you, you’d tell them nothing.

Just how much longer were you going to remember him? Why couldn’t he just be erased from your memories? You wanted him gone now. Just how much longer were you going to see his face every time you shut your eyes? You shook your head and decided to go out for a walk to clear your mind. not thinking where you were going… but somehow your feet brought you to a large building your heart suddenly racing.

You stare at SM Entertainment. It wasn’t exactly fair for you to cause everyone else in Exo to worry about you just because of Kai. But you stopped as you reached the door. You were no longer Kai’s girlfriend… the guards would never let you pass. What if you ran into him? You shake your head fast and turn to leave.

“Come back here!” You hear shouting from behind you. “Kim-”

“I won’t model with her! Anyone but her!” Your heart trembled and at the sound of his voice, your entire body shook with rage. That voice belonged to none other than Kai. You would’ve recognized his voice anywhere.

“Where do you think you’re going-”

“Relax! I just need some air! Get a new model. I refuse to do anything with her.” He demanded and ruffled his hair angrily. Your body was frozen; you couldn’t move an inch. You heard him let out an angry sigh before telling your body to keep walking. “______?” It was what you feared most. The strings on your heart were being tugged and you found yourself turning around slowly.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.

“A-Ah… ______… It’s you.” He mumbled quietly. You hardly recognized him to be honest. It was almost as if he was admiring you, his mouth open, his eyes never leaving yours. There was so much eyeliner around his eyes… but the makeup couldn’t fool you. You could still see those dark circles beneath his eyes as they gazed longingly at yours. You didn’t want him to say anything else, so you simply turned and began walking away. “______… Wait!” He called out to you.

Damn it. You thought to yourself as your feet came to a halt. You wanted to keep moving away; just what was causing your heart and body to betray your mind? Kai reaches forward and grabs your wrist.

“How have you-”

“Fine without you.” You say forcefully before yanking your wrist out of his hand. “Great..” Kai sighs and nods before giving you one of his grins. Why was he smiling at you? You wanted to hit him. Hit him for smiling when you said you were fine without him cause you weren’t. You wanted to hit him for cheating on you and telling you lies which made your heart flutter.

“That’s… That’s good.”

“Stop causing so much trouble.” You mutter coldly and begin to walk away when Kai reaches forward and grabs your hand again. “Kai, let go.” His hand around your wrist tightens. “Kai, let go-”

“Kai? Since when was I ‘Kai’ to-”

“In case you don’t remember, we’re over.” Did he actually need you to remind him? He lets go and you rub your wrist, it stinging slightly from his tight grip. Your phone beeps suddenly and you look at it before letting out an aggravating groan.

“Wha-”

“… An ex-boyfriend as of now.” You mumble. Why were you telling him?

“You… You had a boyfriend recently?” You roll your eyes at him and nod. You stuff the phone back in your pocket and begin to leave when suddenly you feel two arms come from behind you, wrapping around your waist. Your heart races fast, as your mind told you to push this bastard off of you. He cheated on you. With all your strength, you pry his hands away from you.

“Don’t go.” You bite down on your teeth before shaking your head.

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Don’t go to him.”

“Shut up, Kai.” He grabs your hand fast and begins to pull you. “Kai! Kai, stop! I’m going to scream if you don’t-” Kai doesn’t listen and pulls you into the SM Entertainment building. “Kai!” You shout his name loudly as he yanks you into one of the office rooms. Kai shuts the door behind him loudly and you back away from him. “You jerk…. you asshole… what do you think you’re doing?!” You were beginning to panic now… What did he have in mind?!

“That girl was a dancer.” Kai begins to say quietly. “I knew she had feelings for me. I used-”

“Kai, I don’t care what happened. It’s over already.”

“Listen! Please!” Kai’s voice sounded like he was begging almost… pleading for you to listen to him. “She was-” Your phone rang as you rolled your eyes at Kai.

“Hello? Ah…” You mumbled your now ex-boyfriend’s name on the phone. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m busy right now… What? I broke up with you because… No, no. That’s not it. In fact I- hey!” The phone was taken out of your hands as Kai shuts it fast and shoves it in his pocket. “Kai! What the hell is your problem?!”

“Don’t talk to any other guy-”

“Excuse me?!” You shouted loudly and approached him fast. “Don’t tell me what I can and can not do.” Your tone grew bitter as the next few words slipped from your mouth with malice. “It’s not like I’m dating you anymore.. Why can’t I contact other guys? Can I not do that? Is this a privilege only Kim Jongin can have?” He was taken back by your words as you attacked him with the cheating situation. “… You cheated on me, Kai. And you didn’t say anything to defend yourself. I’m done with you. Give me back my phone.”

“I did it for you.” Kai says quietly and you laugh.

“You cheated on me with another girl for my own good? You’re an ass, Kai. I can’t even..” You shove him backwards and hold out your hand. “My heart won’t sway anymore. You’ve made me cry for too long. It’s over now.” Kai clenches his fist and pushes you backwards.

“It was for your sake!” His voice grew louder and your eyes widened when you realized he had just pushed you. Your eyebrows furrowed as you stepped forward and shoved him back harder.

“You cheated for my sake? Stop digging your own grave!” You shove him again until his back hits the door. “You cheated on me! There’s nothing in the world you can say that’ll-”

“I had to break up with you! I had to make you hate me!” Kai shouted loudly as he tilts his head up at the ceiling. “I lov-” You didn’t want to listen to him make anymore lies. Without even thinking, you reached forward and slapped him hard across the face. He stands there stunned by what you had just done before looking at the ground.

“Let me leave.” You say as Kai continues to block the door.

“Listen to me first.”

“I really don’t want to listen to you anymore. You’re right. I do hate you.” You say maliciously. You could never forgive him for what he did.

“My manager doesn’t want me dating you. They told me they’d take things into drastic measures if I didn’t handle it myself…”

“So you cheat on me?” You cross your arms and he sighs heavily.

“I had to make you hate me so you’d stop coming near me… I don’t want to imagine what the managers would do to you if I didn’t break up with you. So I devised a plan to have you catch me cheating on you. I planned to have left my bag at home and for you to bring it to me. I just… I just didn’t plan for this heartache to last so long.” Kai clutches at his chest before biting his lower lip. “I really missed having you by my side.”

“I’m not going to fall for that story, Kai.” You reach for the door knob and he grabs your wrist. Quickly, you fling his hand away from your wrist and stumble back again. “Kai! Get out of the way!”

“Not until you believe me.”

“I-It doesn’t matter! You cheated on me! You could’ve just told me! You didn’t have to go mash your face with another girl’s for me to leave you alone!” You shouted at him.

“I needed a way for you to stay away from me completely. I had to cut all contact with you-”

“Then why are you talking with me now?” You bite down hard on your teeth. You wanted him. Your body, your heart, everything… everything wanted Kai again. But you wouldn’t allow it; you couldn’t. This guy had cheated on you. Why? Because he wanted you to hate him, and to cut complete contact with him; his managers would have done it for him if he hadn’t taken it in his own hands.

“Because I miss you… because I need you back… I’m sorry. I wanted you to forget about me. I wanted you to hate me… B-But I can’t do anything right now. I miss you so much…” You shook your head. All the tears you shed on him… you didn’t want to get hurt anymore… not again. It was too late now.

“Sorry.” It was too late to turn back. You placed a hand on his shoulder before moving him away from the door slowly. Your heart raced when your hand touched his body; you almost didn’t want to let go. His entire body was trembling down as you bit down on your lower lip. Don’t cry, ______. You can only move forward now, _______, don’t turn back. “Sorry.”

You couldn’t move though. Kai’s gaze was on the floor as you opened the door to leave. His eyes were squeezed shut, his lower lip quivering fast as he struggled to breathe. Your heart was beating heavily in your chest as your hands trembled.

“What else did your manager say to you?” You suddenly ask, breaking the silence as you began to shut the door slowly. That was it. That was your chance to leave, the chance to turn away from all of this, but you couldn’t. You just couldn’t pull away from him.

“I won’t make you happy. Dating an idol comes with a price..” Kai mumbles softly. You knew right away that he was trying to prevent himself from crying, his voice breaking. “The managers told me you wouldn’t be happy with me-”

“If I was unhappy, I’d have broken up with you a long time ago. It was you who chose to cheat on me and go to that extreme.”

“I-I wasn’t thinking! I was… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for hurting you…” Kai mumbles.

“I cried myself to sleep that night. I was with Sehun and prevented him from leaving because I cried and he was worried about me-”

“When you walked out that door, I thought I was going to die. This was it. You weren’t going to look back anymore. Part of me was happy that the managers weren’t going have to take care of it… and I thought you were going to be happy… Wh-Which you were. You had a boyfriend and everything…” Kai’s voice trailed off. “I was jealous. I wanted you to be happy, but at the same time I got jealous of the guy you mentioned.”

“I didn’t love him.” You say to Kai. “I just liked him… I don’t-”

“I want you to be happy, ______. I thought even if it wasn’t with me, that it was fine.” Kai stumbled backwards until his back hit the wall. His hand covered his face fast. “Y-You’re the only one I’ve ever loved.” Kai’s voice broke completely now, his voice cracking as tears slid down his face. “If I love you, I should put you before myself right? I-I can’t! I can’t do that with this job of mine. I want to so badly… but I-I can’t… So the managers convinced me to let you go… Th-The method I chose, I shouldn’t have… I-”

“Sh, Jongin..” You mumble softly before approaching him slowly. You placed both your hands on his cheek gently and kissed at his cheeks; his entire body was trembling at your touch.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for hurting you… I don’t have any feelings for her! I swear. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved!” Kai shouts loudly before you nod fast. Pain was written all over his face as he grabbed your hand caressing his face and brought it to his lips. Kai kissed the palm of your hand gently with his quivering lips before more tears spilled down his face.

“Jongin! Please, don’t cry anymore-”

“I-I’m sorry… I’ve just been so lost without you.. My heart aches everyday, I can’t focus on anything because all I can see is the face you made as you left me that night. I wanted to shout to you: Don’t leave. Don’t go… But I couldn’t.”

“I understand, Jongin. I do.” His breathing returned slowly to normal as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close to you. “Come here, Jongin.” Kai exhaled heavily before you pulled away from him. You noticed red dripping on his lips before your eyes widened. Kai tasted rust on his mouth before he brought a hand to wipe it away. He didn’t even realize he was biting his lips so hard that it bled. “Jongin…”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sh… I’m here now. I’m… I’m not going anywhere anymore.” You placed your hands on his jaw, your fingers touching his neck as he pressed his forehead against yours. “I love you, Jongin. I have the whole time. Y-You definitely could have spared me the tears by just explaining the situation to me.” He nods before he nears his lips to yours. You retreat slowly as Kai closes his parted lips.

“I won’t lose you again… No matter what the manager says…” And with that, you closed the space between the two of you. “ Kai spoke in between kisses, ”I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’ve missed you so much… I love you-“

“Shut up and kiss me, Jongin. I only want you.” You sigh heaviy and wrap your arms around him tightly.

“I can’t live without you… I-I can’t even function without you.”

“I know… Don’t let me go this time.” You press your lips to his forehead and his grip around you tightens.

“I won’t, ever.”

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-

10

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
‘Cause I saw the end before we’d begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what’s mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won’t stop there,
I am here for you if you’d only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I’ve kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I’ve been addicted to you. Goodbye my lover !! Goodbye my friend!! You have been the one .. You have been the one for Me !