you two broke my heart

How to Express Your Love


“Astrid, you have me, no matter what.”

“I never stop worrying about you. That’s just the way it is.”

“I can’t imagine a world without you in it.”


“I’m really proud of you.”


“But, I still have you.”


“Do you need a shoulder to cry on?”

“We are like two yaks in one stall, you and me.”

“You broke my heart, Thor. You broke it right in two.”


“Lead the way I shall.”

"I don’t want to go back to being long-distance Terror mail pals. I want you here.”

“Just know that we will always… I, will always be here for you.”


“From now on, it’s either honey, sweetie, dear or snookie-pie.”

“Fishlegs! My feet need massaging~”

“Actually, I was just going to tell you what an idiot you are. Come here.”


“Oh, Macey, you get me.”

“We are going home, Chicken. We are going home.”

“I, Tuffnut Thorston, take thee Razorwhip, whatever your last name is, insert it here, to be my…”

This part of Tyrion chapter in ASOS is so underrated. Look how sweet it is: 

“I won’t intrude. Dress warmly, my lady, the wind is brisk out there.”   

The wind was brisk, just as he’d warned Sansa, and there was a smell of rain in the air. Perhaps when Lord Tywin was done with him he should go to the godswood and fetch her home before she got soaked.

I just think Sansa brings out a more sensitive part of Tyrion. Its cute. 

how about a plot about “you broke my heart two years ago when you decided to leave and i finally moved on, and now you tell me you’re back for good?” cause angst and flashback paras wow

anonymous asked:

Are you taking requests from the lyrics prompt? 15. "Move on" 31. “Haven’t seen you in a while”

31. “Haven’t seen you in a while”
15. “Move on”
you pulled your black bomber jacket closer to your body, your light jacket was no match for the cold canada air.

you spotted your favourite coffee shop in the distance, exactly where you were headed. your coffee machine in your apartment broke and you were in desperate need of one. that was if you could make it in there without freezing. the sidewalks in toronto seemed extra busy with teenage girls today, you wondered if there was some sort of concert later.

you sighed once you were inside the coffee shop, the warmth of the shop immediately warming you up. you glanced at the few people scattered around the shop, your eyes landing on one specific boy at one specific table.

it couldn’t be him, you thought as you joined the line to buy your coffee, your eyes never leaving him. he could sense that someone was staring at him and in seconds his eyes met yours. he waved, sending you a small smile which you did not return. instead, you turned and faced the front of the line and never looked at him again.

“large latte and a heated chocolate chip cookie for y/n?” the barista called, handing you your drink and cookie. “have a nice day!”

“you too,” you said, taking your items and sliding into a booth against the window. you felt his eyes on you the entire time and it was almost impossible to not acknowledge him, but you needed too.

to distract yourself, you pulled your phone out and started scrolling through your various social media accounts.

“y/n,” he interrupted you, now standing at the edge of your table. “is this seat taken?”

you looked up from your phone for a split second to reveal your ex boyfriend shawn, standing in front of your table with his coffee and muffin hoping you would let him sit with you.

“it depends,” you said. “who’s asking?”

“y/n,” he rolled his eyes. “please. it’s getting busy and people are going to need seats.”

“so?” you said, taking a sip of your scolding hot beverage.

“may i please sit here?”

“fine.” you sighed, going back to your instagram feed. he slid into the booth across from you, setting his food on the table. you could sense is eyes still on you.

“yes?” you huffed, stuffing your phone in your pocket knowing you probably weren’t going to use it until he left.

“haven’t seen you in a while,” he said. “how are you?”

you rolled your eyes, “you’re the one who’s been away for months and months so of course you haven’t seen me in a while. i’m doing perfectly fine.” you lied.

shawn was the one who decided to end things 6 months ago after almost two years, and for no reason at all which left you beyond pissed. he left for a new world tour a few weeks after and you haven’t seen or spoken to him since. you were still extremely upset with him, but deep down you missed him dearly. you missed waking up to his adorable face every morning, and how you two could literally be doing nothing together but still enjoying yourselves since you were together, you missed his random bear hugs, and how we was always there for you even though he was in a different continent. overall, you missed him. you hated to tell anyone though, you thought it made you seem weak. why would you miss someone who left you? you didn’t want to lie to yourself, it hurt when he broke up with you. you really thought he was the one.

“come on y/n, it’s been months. are you still mad?” he asked.

you scoffed, “of course i’m still mad. you broke my heart shawn. you threw two years down the drain for nothing! do you know how many nights i cried myself to sleep because i was missing you? or how many nights i debated on calling you because i was that desperate? of course i’m still fucking mad shawn.”

“i miss you,” he whispered.

“move on.” you said, as much as it broke you to say. you broke a piece of your warm cookie and dunked it in the coffee. neither of you said anything as you watched people walking by the shop. there were many teenage girls passing by, some were taking pictures and videos of the two of you in the window. you knew you were going to be all over the internet later.

“i made you cry?” shawn finally spoke, breaking the awkward silence. his eyes were filled with tears. you raised your eyebrows, finally turning to face him again. you nodded, not wanting to say anything to make him cry.

“y/n i’m so sorry, you know i hate when you cry. even if we aren’t together.” he wiped his eyes, “and knowing i caused it and couldn’t do anything about it makes me feel so much worse.”

“it’s fine i guess, there’s nothing you can do about it now. it happened and it’s finished.” you sighed, sliding over the rest of your cookie. you suddenly weren’t hungry anymore.

“have you eaten anything yet?” he asked, eyeing the cookie.

you shook your head, “i was going to make myself some coffee but the machine broke so here i am.” you chuckled. he knew that old coffee machine you had always broke, it wasn’t rare that you came here for breakfast.

“you need to eat this,” he slid the paper back to you. “please.”

you didn’t take it. “you don’t get to do this shawn.” you mumbled. “you do not get to waltz in here after 6 months and pretend everything is okay!”

you could feel your eyes starting to water but you quickly wiped them before shawn could notice. there was no way he was quick enough to tell anymore.

“y/n,” he reached across the table to grab both your hands. “believe me when i say this. i’m so sorry, my intention was never to hurt you. i thought it would be best if we went our own ways because i couldn’t bear to see you missing me all the time. i thought you deserved someone who could be there for you. i miss you y/n, and it’s too bad it took me this long to realize that i’m the only one for you. you’re the only one for me. i know this is a long shot, but will you please forgive me? maybe we could start things up again?”

you looked up at him, his eyes were full of hope. hope that you could find it in your heart to maybe forgive him.

“i don’t know shawn,” you sighed. “you broke my heart. it took me so long to recover. i can’t go through that again.”

“please y/n, i need you. i was a wreck without you, please.” he begged. “we can take it slow, as slow as you want. just please say you’ll forgive me?”

you weren’t sure if you wanted to start things with him again if it could potentially end how it ended last time. but you knew that he was the only one for you, if you didn’t forgive him now you would eventually.

“okay shawn, but we have to take baby steps? okay?”

“okay,” he beamed. “baby steps it is.”

best friends || isaac lahey

word count: 3350

warnings: none

prompt: isaac and y/n are best friends, but get in a fight before a mission. y/n almost gets attacked by the villan and isaac saves her.

author’s note: probably seems familiar because it’s been posted, this is a repost because my old blog is now deleted.

Keep reading

3.16 ‘Into the Speed Force’ Preliminary reaction
  1. We got Wally!  We got Wally!  We got Wally!
  2. Keiynan crushed it.  Standing in an empty room, he brought a heartbreak that just ached
  3. Jesse’s satisfaction after knocking HR out was fantastic.
  4. Cisco and Barry’s friendship is alive and well.  Cisco letting go of Barry’s shoulder in the Speed Force gave me a lot of feelings, especially in light of Cisco’s straining hand in The Runaway Dinosaur as he begs Barry to hold onto him.  The whole “let you go” line got to me.
  5. Holy musical Speed Force!  I loved how we got to see the teeth underneath the smile.  Speed Force might’ve played nice last time, but Speed Force is also the entity that comprises time wraiths.
  6. Which, yanno, are still spooky dementors capable of taking a slow, lull-you-into-false-security scene and turn it into an edge-of-your-seat flight for your life.
  7. Another incredibly jarring moment: the gunshot, and the drops of blood on the floor.  Wow.  It woke you right up.  This isn’t Speed Force having a conversation with Barry.  This is Speed Force sending a message.
  8. Oh how fun it is to watch Barry stand against the universe.  He defies the three ghosts – Eddie, Ronnie, and Snart – who all attempt to dissuade him.  He’s not going home without Wally.  He’s not.  He won’t fight Speed Force because he can’t, but he won’t leave.  He will rescue Wally or he will die trying.
  9. The fact that Barry said it out loud, that he was ready to take Wally’s place – Barry is such a hero.  We’re so ready to hyperanalyze him that we forget, at the end of the day, Barry is twenty-eight-years-old, and he was willing to die for Wally.
  10. Actually, he was so ready to rescue Wally that he was willing to accept a fate worse than death with blind determination.  Barry is so brave.
  11. Jay’s timely intervention was spectacular.  I loved seeing him again.  His sacrifice broke my heart, and I deeply hope Barry honors his promise as soon as he possibly can to rescue him.
  12. I also loved how we went back to 1.04 Going Rogue with the Snart scene.  Here we have Barry, who has survived Savitar and Zoom and countless other metahumans, succumbing to the same trick that brought him down then.  Because this isn’t just Snart: this is the Speed Force.
  13. And, as I’ve already included in yet another reaction fic: if the universe is against you, how can you possibly win?
  14. Brute force.  Sheer force of will.  Blind determination.  Unrelenting optimism.  Gumption.  Barry ran through a time wraith (which, by the way, has to have some sort of effect on him) and even survived an encounter with The Black Flash.  In The Black Flash’s home turf, no less.  I also loved how in the end all he had to do was vibrate his hand to shatter the ice on the door and call to Wally.
  15. It wasn’t being the biggest or baddest or strongest that enabled Barry to win.  He couldn’t possibly be these things against the Speed Force, which is infinite, and all of these things to their extremes and more.  No, he won because he cared.  He loves Wally so much that he unflinchingly chose to trade places with him rather than accept that Wally had walked into this situation on his own and therefore needed to get out of it on his own.  He called Wally back, and he didn’t shout or drag or force.  He simply insisted, because he cared too much to do anything less.  And Wally was freed.
  16. Barry loves Jay, too, which is why even after a harrowing encounter with not one but two literal embodiments of death, Barry still says without blinking that he’s coming back to rescue him.  He’s already gearing up for round two.  You wonderful boy.  You brave, brave man.
  17. Jay’s sacrifice broke my heart.  Henry didn’t give up his life for Barry; it was taken.  To see a man who has Henry’s face – and boy, it helps throw the whole HR/Harry situation into perspective – doing something like this has to have hit so deep for Barry.
  18. Please keep that in mind when we return to Earth, overwhelmingly, ostensibly back to “normal.”  Barry even freely admits that they need time.  The experience changed him, physically and mentally.  It revealed the give-take nature of his relationship with the Speed Force, and how it could be both benevolent and malevolent.  It was a startling revelation.  A lot to swallow.
  19. Enter Iris West.  I can’t really justify Barry’s decision, because like his shell-shocked refusal to rescue Wally in The Wrath of Savitar, breaking up with Iris isn’t the “right” move.  It’s something he’ll have to course-correct later.  But right now, I know that Barry has been through absolute hell.  Trying to balance his feelings for Iris and breathe is a lot to ask of him.  He ran to Flashpoint last time.  This time, he’s not running as far.  And he’s not doing it to escape Iris.  He’s doing it because he needs room to breathe.
  20. Westallen is exactly as strong now as it was before this episode, as strong as it’s been for years.  The fluctuations are normal.  The core of the relationship remains intact.  You’re not happy every day of your life; you experience a full range of emotions.  Sometimes you get overwhelmed and need time to process them alone.  That’s okay.  Barry didn’t challenge the quality of their relationship; he requested space.  And, to be fair, one can’t say that Iris wasn’t doing the same thing in The Wrath of Savitar.
  21. They love each other, trust each other, want each other.  But to be human and to err are the same thing.  It is okay to not make all the right moves.  It is okay to move one step forward and two steps back.
  22. Because, in the end, with a relationship that strong, you do persist.  You do insist.  You don’t settle, or accept, or walk away with ease.  You fight for it.  You fight for what’s worth it.
  23. In conclusion: this episode was awesome and I enjoyed every minute of it.

anonymous asked:

May I request a poly Roadrat where they have triplets? Two girls and a little boy, who Jamie likes to call his little ankle biter.

“Ada! Cel! Kai! You three off of the counter right now!”

Your hands were on your hips, eyes narrowed as you stared your three two-year olds down, their eyes round as they looked back at you guiltily. Never in your life could you believe there would be anyone who could usurp Jamison ‘Junkrat’ Fawkes as the troublemakers of your family but your three rugrats proved your assumptions wrong effortlessly. A part of you figured that the way the three of you worked had been somehow genetically passed down into your children; the three always having one another’s backs, getting into as much trouble as they got one another out of. But you couldn’t fault them for it, it soothed something in your heart to know that despite all that the three of you had been through, despite the fact that you all had lived with targets on your backs, trusting no one but each other (until Overwatch’s recall), that they would have someone to rely on. Each other. As endearing as you found it, they still managed to drive you up the wall…even if they were using their patented puppy dog faces.

Adelaide, Celyn and Kai Fawkes-Rutledge, born on a comfortably warm Tuesday, March 4th 2079. Adelaide had Jamison’s bright amber eyes while Celyn had Mako’s gray and Kai possessed your brown. Kai’s hair was damn near snow white when you had given birth but had darkened to Jamie’s straw blonde, Adelaide and Celyn’s hair black as night like Mako’s used to be. All three of them were now covered in freckles, the melanated spots claiming more and more surface area as the days went along. Their cheeks were still full and rounded, often stuffed with treats or sweets like they had been trying to attain from the kitchen counter. The three of them quickly scrambled down and off the chair, each of them possessing enough humility to have their heads dipped down guiltily.

“Now my three little monkeys”, you teased, crouching down so that you could see them face to face. Their eyes dipped down but you didn’t miss their soft giggles and smiles that tugged at their lips. Adelaide’s hands jumped up, covering her lips to hide her grin. “What have I said about climbing on things? You want to fall and bump your heads?”

For good measure you lightly tapped all three of them on the head with your closed fist, each of them giving an exaggerated ‘ouch’ before breaking into a fit of laughter.

“You’d break daddy’s and papa’s and mommy’s heart”, you sighed dramatically, placing your hand over your heart and falling back onto your kitchen floor. The three kids surged forward, all laughter and kisses and hugs and ‘oh no, we gotta fix mama’. Resisting the urge to giggle yourself, you threw your arm to the side, the back of your hand hitting the floor with a soft thwack. Celyn pulled your arm up only for it to fall back to the floor with a thunk, your eyes closed tight and tongue hanging from your mouth. That sent them into another fit of titters as they circled around you, playfully lifting your arm and poking at your cheek, Kai going as far to ‘carefully’ push your eyelid up.

“Welly welly well…what do we got here?”

One of your eyes peeked open, catching sight of Jamison, the man grinning, amber eyes glowing mirthfully. He was shirtless and his sleep shorts hung low on his hips, his hair somehow more mussed than normal. The three of you often played these dramatic little games with the kids, your triplets absolutely eating up and enjoying how playful and reactive you could be. The three of you reacted to one another effortlessly, so he began to play along, face morphing into one of faux concern.

“They’ve killed me”, you stated simply as he moved further into the kitchen, faking a pretend sob as he crouched down next to you. “Broke my heart right in two! Trying to climb up on the counter, scared me half to death! Boohoohoohoo!”

“Mama don’t cry! It’s okay!”

“You’re okay, you’re okay!”

“Sorry mama, we’re sorry!”

You took a dramatic breath in, winking at Jamison before sitting all the way up and opening both of your eyes.

“I’m alive again”, you say, throwing your arms wide and almost getting barreled over before Jamie caught you, sitting directly behind you. The kids pressed sloppy kisses to your cheeks and you and Jamie ruffled their hair.

“Papa we saved mama”, Celyn exclaimed looking over your shoulder and up, their name for Mako making you tilt up. He was still dressed in his pajamas, sweatpants and a large t-shirt with a Mickey Mouse face on it. He was maskless as he tended to be more after the birth of the kids, a playfully look in his eyes and a soft smile on his lips.

“Lil anklebiters killed her but brought her right back like Ang does yeah”, Junkrat teased playfully as Mako moved further into the kitchen, making it only a step in before Kai threw himself at Roadhog’s ankle and wrapping his arms tight around his thick, sweatpants covered calf. “You lot got magic, huh?”

“Nope for mama only!”

“Yep for mama!”

“Sorry daddy!”

Mako snorted and you fell into a fit of laughter as Jamison shot his kids a betrayed look, no real hurt behind his gaze only play.

“Well that ain’t fair”, Junkrat whined, huffing heavily, the arms wrapped around his waist crossing across your center.

“Neither is life”, you intoned with giggle and a shrug of your shoulders.

“She’s right Rat”, Mako answered as he began to open and close the cabinets, pulling various items out and setting them on the counter.

All the while, Kai held on, giggling as Mako made exaggerated movements for his son’s sake. Adelaide still sat curled up in your lap, playing with your hair while Celyn was standing to the side, sympathetically patting her father’s face with her hand as she tried to soothe his pouting. Warmth spread throughout your chest, cheeks glowing with happiness as you peered around at your family, happy and giggling and together. This was greater than any heist or treasure you three had stolen, better than any sight you had seen on your travels. 

Mako was still Roadhog, a force of destruction to be reckoned with, deadly and ruthless on the field when on missions. Jamison was still Junkrat, the crazed demolitions expert who could create bombs and explosives with a practiced expertise, chaotic and haphazard. But Mako was also Papa, the man who made breakfast almost daily and cuddled with the best of them and couldn’t say no to the teary puppy dog face he knew the kids were manipulating him with. Jamison was daddy, the best storyteller in the whole world, who created bath bombs that bubbled and glittered and filled the tub with swirling colorful suds, and gave the best ‘airplane’ rides. You all had found your niche, found your place. This was home and this was perfect.

“Pancakes”, Mako asked, but more or less indicated that he was already making them, more or less asking if anyone would like to help.


“I love pan-cakes!”

“I  wanna stir!”

“No no I wanna!”

“Me me me!”

“Papa lemme stir!”

You laughed as all three of the kids clambered off of you and towards Mako, the man already having three small bowls and spoons to separate their own batter and add-ins into. Leaning back into Jamie, still on the floor you gave a soft sigh, the kids climbing into their seats as Mako gave instructions on what to do and how to help.

“This…is the life.”

astridthevalkyrie  asked:

I don't think you've done this, so one favorite quote from each of the riders? Thanks :)

Sure! I love quotes! :D It’s hard for me to pick a number one favorite quote for everyone, but here are some that I enjoy!

Hiccup #1: We are the voice of peace and, bit by bit, we will change this world. (How to Train Your Dragon 2)
Hiccup #2: Gobber, take off your pants! (Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon)
Astrid: I’m going to take your helmet and shove it up your dirty little- (Cast Out)
Snotlout #1: Slarburg! Slarburg! Nork nork nork! (A View to a Skrill)
Snotlout #2: You broke my heart, Thor. You broke it right in two. (Big Man on Berk)
Snotlout #3: Why read words when you can just kill the stuff the words tell you stuff about? (How to Train Your Dragon)
Ruffnut: No. You wish I was your sister. You think I’d be dragging your monkey butt all over the jungle risking your life if my brother weren’t the most important thing in the world to me? (Bad Moon Rising)
Tuffnut: That’s my sister out there, Astrid. And if this goes wrong and we don’t save her… I couldn’t live with myself. (Edge of Disaster)
Fishlegs: Speed eight, armor sixteen. Plus eleven stealth times two. Firepower fifteen. Attack eight, venom twelve. Jaw strength eight.
Dagur: That stuff can kill you from the inside, Hiccup. Revenge, anger, obsession… trust me, I know. It can make you do things you never thought you were capable of, cause you to take chances, make mistakes.  if that doesn’t end you, it’ll eat away at you slowly. (Enemy of My Enemy)

I also highly enjoy the insults Hiccup and Snotlout share in Thawfest, the things Snotlout says when he’s arguing with Hiccup in Defiant One, and some of the ridiculous things that come out of Tuffnut’s mouth throughout RTTE.

anonymous asked:

I can’t trust you four letter prompt

thanks for sending this in! i hope you like it (:

“Honey?” I put a hand on Harry’s forearm, trailing my fingers lightly across his skin. “What are you looking at?”

His eyebrows were knitted together as he stared down at his phone. “I think… I think my single leaked.”

My heart dropped, “Are you sure?”

He put a hand on my knee and stood up, “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna call Jeff.”

I swallowed as he excused himself from the table. “What was that about?” Gemma asks.

“Harry thinks his single was leaked.” My mind is racing a mile a minute, knowing Harry had only shared it with me and Jeff. Gemma was still talking, but I excused myself to make a phone call.


“Jen, did you share that file I sent you with anyone else?”

“What file?”

“The file with Harry’s single on it, Jen.” I snapped, getting impatient.

“Uh… Yeah, I think I sent it to a couple people. It was really good.”

“Dammit Jennifer!” I hissed, trying to keep my voice down, “I told you, you couldn’t show anyone else!”

“I know, I know, but they promised they wouldn’t give it to anyone!”

The backs of my eyes burned with tears of frustration, “Bye, Jen.” I hung up before she could answer.


“I just don’t understand.” Harry said later when we got home. “I only gave it to you and Jeff, how the hell did it get out?” He was absolutely gutted and the guilt was eating me alive.

“Did Jeff say where the leak came from?”

“No, said they were working on finding out.” He shook his head, “It’s just so unfair, you know? I know it was coming out in a week anyway, but this album feels like my child and if… Like, if I can’t control something this simple–”

“Harry, I think I was the leak.” I said quickly before I lost the nerve.

I felt his stare, but I couldn’t look at him. “Tell me you’re joking.” He said after a few moments, his voice deadly quiet.

I shook my head, “I sent it to Jen–”

He groaned, “Jen? Really, love? You know your sister can’t keep a secret for shit.”

“I know, baby I’m–”

Christ!” He swore and banged his fist on the wall, “How could you–?” He seemed at a loss for words and the disappointment on his face was almost too much for me to bear. “You know how important this it to me, how much this means. This is my career you’re meddling with, love, I just can’t understand… You promised.” The way he said those last two words broke my heart. He had so much faith in me and I had broke it.

I shrugged helplessly, “I was just so proud of you I wanted everyone to hear it.”

“You–!” He started then stopped, running a hand over his face, “It wasn’t yours to share.” He said quietly. “How am I supposed to trust you now?”

“Harry, I swear, I’ll never do this again it was a stupid mistake–”

“You’re right. You won’t ever do this again because I’m not showing you anything before release dates anymore.”

“Harry.” I pleaded.

I can’t trust you.” He said, his face full of sadness. “I’m sorry.” And then he disappeared into the bathroom.


Harry came out of the bathroom, steam billowing behind him like waves, “Jeff called while I was in the shower.”

“Oh? I suppose he told you what an awful girlfriend I am.” I said miserably.

Harry tapped his screen a few times before Jeff’s voice came through the phone:

“Harry… Look, man, I’m so sorry… We just took a look through my email and it turns out someone hacked me and stole the file from the email you sent me. I feel so awful, we can’t email files like that anymore I guess.” There was a heavy sigh on the other line, “I’m so sorry, Harry, I know how much this meant to you. I’ll, uh, talk to you tomorrow and we’ll discuss where to go from here. Alright, see ya.” The line went dead.

“It wasn’t me.” I said quietly.

“No,” Harry said, “But it doesn’t change the fact that you betrayed my trust.”


“It doesn’t change anything.” Harry said, settling into bed beside me, but far enough away where I couldn’t reach him. “But I didn’t want you to have to live with more guilt than necessary, so… I thought you should know. Goodnight.”

send in a four word prompt


“Happy birthday to my not-so-little M&M’s! I may or may not be sobbing behind the camera right now. You two given me lots of trouble, worry, and heartache… But also so much love, compassion, and newfound patience. Having you two was a complete surprise, but a double blessing and I’m so thankful to have two beautiful boys that bring me so much joy… I was so scared that I’d lose you two when I got sick during my pregnancy… And my heart broke when I found out that you couldn’t hear… I still blame myself because if I had never got sick, you two would be perfectly healthy… But everything happens for a reason.

In those ASL classes we attended as a family, I got to learn and be a part of such a beautiful culture that I never really knew that much about… We met so many new people with so many different backgrounds! Not only that, but you two have touched so many people’s hearts, showing the love of Jesus in you, by being yourselves! Including mine… You two are perfect the way you are and I love you so much. God has huge plans for you two, and you already have such a huge testimony at just six years old! Just don’t grow too fast, alright? Maybe stay six years old for a few more years and I’ll be content, lol.” ❤️ -Catherine

My art teacher used to say

“don’t add the black paint
until you’re ready for a finished product”

and I never listened.

So I painted with my black paint
a little too soon,
a little too much,
a little too dark,
a little too passionate,
a little too addicted
to the night,
I always enjoyed the starry sky.

My art teacher used to say

“kiet, i know that you love her,
i see it, you two are my
favorite couple”

and I never listened.

So I broke her heart at night
as she gripped her chest
while I did,
as she hid her heart
while I bit,
as she held her tongue
while I kissed,
as she ran from me,
while I chased.
I always enjoyed the lustful parts,
but I miss the gentle parts more.

My art teacher used to say

“black is dominance,
black is overwhelming,
and black is torture,
but black must be controlled”

but I never listened.

Because it never made much sense, I didn’t make much sense of anything except for her. I tried to make sense out of a human being, my human being. A lover, my lover, and you know what the truth is all about?

People don’t make sense.
Love has no sense of direction.
People are chaotic.
Love is chaos.
People are nature’s kiss.
Love, the lips.
People are timeless.
Love is timed.

She was natural.
I was the fucking disaster.

There is a quote out there that goes,
and you’ll know why people are named after storms, why hurricanes are named after girls and you know what?

She wasn’t any of those things,
I was.

I was the earthquake that
shook her buildings down
and they crashed into her heart;
that explains the cracks.

I was the wildfire that
burnt through her magical forest
and the rabbit lost more time;
that explains Alice in wonderland.

I was the calm eye of the storm that
had one sweet angle and 20 more
reasons to fuck her over;
my insides said I love you,
but my outsides said I hate you
that explains the obsession,
this hopeless romantic poetry bullshit.

I was a flood,
and her eyes the land,
her eyes the gates,
her eyes the drowned city.

I was the big bang,
and her soul the many universes
within universes, the many stars
followed by comet showers,
the wishing stars that never came true,
the first time the moon met the sun,
love at first sight, forever separated,
the moon crashing into the sun,
night and day never being one
until dawn came and twilight clouds
rained her name and my name
was shot across the eons of lightyears
and no one hears me scream in space
except for her and she does care,
but these type of blackholes
suck up everything!

They destroy everything,
a still painting dripping with black paint and I wanted to love her
and all of this time I thought
that she was the black paint,
but it was me, who was the paint.

And I took all of her light,
a black hole in space
kissing the suns of my theory
one last time,
into the darkness they went
and back to the darkness
that they came from.

And my art teacher used to say

“don’t add the black paint
until you’re ready for a finished product”

I finally listened.

So I let go of her a few days ago.
I told myself that I needed to stop.
Stop talking to her like she was
the sunset we all adored
and how her eyes meant the world,
and if it meant that she’d wink
butterflies into the pit of my stomach,
I’d die as a self-imploding star.
So I stopped myself from being
more black paint, I crossed out
her face with my own fingers
and kissed her one last time.

My art teacher used to say

“because this black paint is undoing,
you cannot paint over it with white,
the black is so dense, it’s raw,
it’s real it stops all hints of color
under it over and over it.
because this is art and art is life,
art is poetry and art is love,
because art is everything
and anything”

So I became the nights she had to sleep alone, so I became the nights I cried to sleep, so I became free from her love and I finally understood my art teacher, I finally understood my ex.

“black paint is the purest color
and lightest of color if used correctly
with the right amount of care and tender.”

add a little black with white
and you’ll have grey.
add a little black with red
and you’ll have my bleeding heart.
add a little black with blue
and you’ll have her bruised lips.
add a little black with yellow
and you’ll have her eye colors.
add a little black to my soul,
and you’ll have lust.
add a little black to my heart,
and you’ll have her.

And I could swear I heard my art teacher say

“you’ll let go of her one day
when you’re ready,
you’ll add red over all
of your paintings
because they’ll remind
you of her lips, it’ll be your
favorite color, you’ll add blue
over your roses because
red has too much passion,
it’s on fire and sometimes
we have to appreciate
the beauty of weirdness,
poetry and art is weird,
the best kind,
you’ll add pale yellow for
her skin tone and you’ll add
dark, dark brown near
lonely tree trunks
because it’ll remind you
of her eyes that cried
every night because
you didn’t know how
to love, young kids
finding slipped pants
and unhooked bras
more satisfying than
adding black paint
to solidify a relationship
that could’ve been,
and you’ll add your last drop,
the finishing touch,
you’ll be the black paint,
and she’ll be the finished product.”

and I finally listened.

I finally listened to my art teacher.

So I let you go, baby.

The world is your canvas
and I was the black paint.

His lips your new black paint,
and you, his unfinished product.

—  My art teacher used to say
don’t add the black paint
until you’re ready
for it to be over,
she was right.
// k.c.
Shout out to my ex!


It had been three months since me and Peter had broken up after four years of being together, there was just no spark anymore. The lost boys had been awkward in the beginning while Peter and me just started to get along like friends, just not that much anymore. Felix had become the bridge between our friendship, if he wasn’t here Peter and me wouldn’t talk anymore.

About a week ago I saw Peter flirting with Wendy and he was being so stupid about it. He would laugh out loud and talk if I was close by and would stroke her arm if I was looking, not that it had any effect on me in any way, I just found it stupid and annoying. Couldn’t he act mature and just take care of her like a real gentleman. He just wanted to show me that he had found someone to replace me and wanted to make me jealous. Hell no.

So tonight we had a celebration, why? Don’t know don’t care, and there was a lot of music.

Wendy just finished a small song she wrote, it sounded sweet and lovely and made me sick.

Some lost boys pointed towards me as I grinned. I knew exactly what I wanted to sing and I was going to enjoy it.

I stood on one of the logs asking for a beat and started with: ‘shout out to my ex’.

~This is a shout out to my ex~

 Pan’s head shot up looking at me wide eyed.

~Heard he in love with some other chick~

Wendy’s head turned red.

~Yeah yeah, that hurt me, I’ll admit

Forget that boy, I’m over it

I hope she gettin’ better sex

Hope she ain’t fakin’ it like I did, babe

Took four long years to call it quits

Forget that boy, I’m over it~

~Guess I should say thank you

For the “hate you’s” and the tattoos

Oh baby, I’m cool by the way

Ain’t sure I loved you anyway

Go ahead, babe, I'mma live my life, my life, yeah~

~Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man

You made my heart break and that made me who I am

Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now, well, I

I’m all the way up, I swear you’ll never bring me down

Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man

You made my heart break and that made me who I am

Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now, well, I

I’m all the way up, I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down~

~Oh, I deleted all your pics

Then blocked your number from my phone

Yeah yeah, you took all you could get

But you ain’t getting this love no more

‘Cause now I’m living so legit (so legit)

Even though you broke my heart in two, baby

But I snapped right back, I’m so brand new, baby (I’m so brand new)

Boy, read my lips, I’m over you, over you~

~Guess I should say thank you

For the “hate you’s” and the tattoos

Oh baby, I’m cool by the way

Ain’t sure I loved you anyway

Go ahead, babe, I'mma live my life, my life, yeah~

~Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man

You made my heart break and that made me who I am

Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now, well, I

I’m all the way up, I swear you’ll never bring me down

Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man (You’re really quite the man)

You made my heart break and that made me who I am

Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now, well, I

I’m all the way up, I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down

You’ll never bring me down~

~Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man

You made my heart break and that made me who I am

Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now, well, I’m

All the way up, I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down~

~Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man (You’re quite the man)

You made my heart break and that made me who I am

Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now, well, I

I’m all the way up, I swear you’ll never bring me down (You’ll never bring me down)

Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man

You made my heart break and that made me who I am

Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now, well, I (Baby just look at me now)

I’m all the way up, I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down~ 

~You’ll never bring me down~

 Pan looked furious as all the lost boys laughed. Pan was about to say something but kept his mouth shut. “Revenge” I whispered as I grabbed Felix by his shirt and kissed him. Everyone looked surprised as I smirked before walking away.