you two are such idiots

8

pride & prejudice + mr darcy’s declarations of love

I’ve seen posts about the paladins making up their own memes while in space, but I don’t think I’ve seen anything in regards to them referencing Earth memes and confusing the shit out of poor Allura and Coran. 

Ex: 

*everyone hears about Hunk’s cooking at the space mall* *proceed to throw Gordon Ramsey jokes everywhere*

Pidge, running in circles: “WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUCE???”

Keith, holding Lance’s face between two pieces of bread: “What are you?”

Lance: “An idiot sandwich”

Shiro, squinting at a plate of food goo: “This goo is so green, it could be coming out of your nose.”

Allura and Coran: ??????

..

Lance, to Keith after an argument: “Catch me outside, how bou dat???”

Allura: “We’re in space please do not exit the castle????”

..

*Lance slips and falls on something*

Pidge: “I can’t believe Lance is fucking dead.”

Coran, befuddled: “He’s perfectly fine all of his suits functions show-”

..

*loses Keith in a crowd* *Lance climbs onto a chair*

Lance: “LANCE IS A USELESS, SEVENTH WHEEL”

Keith: “WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY”

Lance: “There he is”

Allura, to Hunk: “Do humans often scream self deprecating sentences over crowds of strangers?”

..

Allura, in the middle of a fight: “WE WILL NEVER GIVE UP”

*cue paladins singing “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley*

Allura: “We are in BATTLE”

..

Coran, discussing infiltration plans for Galra base: “And then Shiro and Keith will enter in through the main doors.”

Shiro: “One does not simply walk into a Galra base.”

Coran: “That’s…that’s what I just said. Were you not listening?”

  • Draco, flinging himself onto Harry's lap: Did you miss me?
  • Harry: You went to the bathroom for two minutes
  • Draco: I know. Did you miss me?
  • Harry: Malfoy, we hate each other.
  • Draco: Then why haven't you pushed me out of your lap yet?
  • Harry: I... maybe I did miss you
  • Draco: *smug*
4

An afternoon date~

and a bonus

6

Malec +  utterly failing to act indifferent when the other is hurt (ft. long lingering shoulder touches)

Title: patience (or lack thereof)
Summary: Exasperated by the slow process of Sasuke and Sakura getting together, Kakashi and Naruto discuss their relationship.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto.
Prompt: An Outsider’s Point of View
Rating: K
A/N: I tried to get this out for ssmonth but couldn’t manage to before a very important visit arrived! Oh well, at least I still whipped this out ahhaa. I think many of you will love this one :)


“Those two are impossible.”

Never looking up from his forever-favored little orange novel, Kakashi merely hummed in reply, distractedly stirring his chopsticks into his miso soup’s steaming broth. “Give them time, Naruto,” he drawled. “It’s only been six months since he came back from his journey.”

But his former student didn’t seem to feel the same, throwing his arms up expressively. “Exactly, Kaka-sensei—it’s been six months!” he exclaimed. Naruto leaned his head back against the frame of the chair, groaning hopelessly. “What the hell is Sasuke doing?”

At this, Kakashi glanced at him, lips tugging lightly under his mask. Naruto only proceeded to lean forward again and shove a handful of noodles into his mouth, features annoyed. It was just like him to get frustrated that things weren’t moving along fast enough between his two best friends.

“Sasuke is healing and trying to put his life back in order,” Kakashi calmly settled to explain, returning to his beloved book. He absentmindedly poked at a piece of grilled eggplant. “He’s spent years away from us on a path that he knows now did neither him nor anyone else any good, and now he’s trying to come to terms with all that.”

A snort of pure disbelief sounded beside him. “Oh come on, he’s had two years to work through that—and you know he’s been doing great lately!”

That was true enough. Still, Kakashi simply shrugged in response. “Maybe not well enough to his standards.”

Keep reading

Red Team Rookies/Ponytail Partnership on their first mission to find elbow grease and headlight fluid at the store

and if they have to search every store in the universe… they probably will…

Free The Animal

Word Count: 6k

Genre: Smut, Angst (will I ever stop being emo?)

Author’s Note: You ever forget that you’re a fanfic writer then you write a fic so bad you remember how much of a hack you are? Yeah welcome to my fic :’D

dom!jungkook- fuckboi!jungkook- fuckbuddy relationship- dirty talk- thigh riding mention because damn even I am not immune to his thighs- inspired by Sia’s song and part of the song drabble game. You can find links to the rest of them on my masterlist

Loving You To Death (Sequel)

There he was with his hands up some girl’s skirt, grinding on her like he was trying to fuck her through their clothes, the fucking pig. You huff and turn to your friend who gives you an exasperated look, “___, just go and grab him by the dick and tell him he can’t fucking do that.”

“He can do whatever the fuck he wants to do, even if that is a bleach blonde bitch with a tan that makes her look like an Oompa Loompa.” That was pretty low, you admit. It wasn’t the girl’s fault that Jungkook had chosen her for the night. But seriously, there was a limit to tanning, this was just harmful to the eyes.

“No, he can’t because you’re together.” Your friend, Hwasa, sounds pretty fed up with you.

“No, we’re not. We’re just fuck buddies and we agreed that we’re not exclusive right from the start.” Why wasn’t she understanding this? You’d explained it to her a thousand times.

“I don’t care what bullshit you told each other. All I care about is what I see, and that is two idiots constantly doing all they can to piss each other off because they can’t communicate like adults.”

“What are you even talking about? Jungkook is not trying to piss me off. He’s just being himself. Which is admittedly annoying in and of itself but you know…”

“Then why did he do nothing the past three days but play video games while you were off galavanting with Jin, only to start making out with some girl the minute you make an appearance?”

“He did?” You asked surprised, only to check yourself back and shrug it off. “I don’t know, he must have just not felt like it.”

“Oh my god, save me from these two idiots.” Hwasa cries then takes you by the shoulder and starts shaking you, “He’s fucking jealous because you took Jin to meet your family and not him so he’s trying to piss you off. Why? Because he likes you. And you’re pissed off. Why? Because you like him. Now can you get that through your thick skull or do I have to beat it into you?”

Keep reading

i think the reason people call Pharah overpowered is because she’s one of the few characters where her hard counters actually have to know how to play the game. Hog or McCree vs Tracer? look at her and press Shift/E, respectively. Winston vs Genji? W+M1. Soldier or McCree or Widowmaker vs Pharah? oh shit wait i actually have to hit her now what the fuck blizz pls nerf jeff save me