you think this is a joke

BTS reaction when they get asked about their idol girlfriend


He would be serious but also semi joking at the same time if that makes sense ?? Like he would answer the question seriously but if he was asked to leave you a message or something similar he would turn into a variety king he is and turn it all into a joke. He’ll probably brag about you a bit too lmao

Originally posted by theseoks


I don’t think he would say much. He likes his privacy and wouldn’t bring up many details but vaguely answer the question and try to change the subject after he answered it. If he was forced to go into detail I think he would just kinda be like oh you know we’re happy instead of answering it directly and I think people would get the hint he doesn’t wanna talk about it.

Originally posted by mn-yg


He would be another member that wouldn’t say much in my opinion. Not that he doesn’t want to say it but I think he is way too shy to be all about the question. He would answer whatever was asked and try to leave it at that but if he was asked into detail I don’t think he would mind though.

Originally posted by wintaeangel


I feel like he would be second after the taehyung to get the most excited about the question. I just know he is the biggest cutie pie ever in the relationships plus he is super polite and thoughtful so he would be really happy about the question and would thank you for being by his side ugh he is perfect

he looks so good fuck

Originally posted by pjmjjk


I don’t think he would say much about it. He’s such a private person I feel like he would avoid the question as much as possible and if he was made to answer he would say it shortly and move on. He would be sweet about it though and would probably say something real cheesy about you because he is so cute and thoughtful.

Originally posted by park-jimizzle


I feel like he would be the most excited about talking about you. He would be a little shy about it but he would be really sweet and answer it thoroughly and probably praise you about how amazing you were to others and everyone would aww 

Originally posted by cyyphr


He would turn real shy and just answer shortly and giggle. I feel like he definitely won’t expect getting asked about it so he’ll probably be very flustered and just a nervous wreck in general because he wouldn’t know what is he allowed to say and what is he not. Other members are gonna tease him so much I feel bad for him 

Originally posted by hohbi

thornaw  asked:

Hello! This is a long way off but what do you think the soundtrack of Ducks would be like? I take it's not a musical or anything, but would what's in there be original? If not, or not entirely, what songs would you see appearing in Ducks?

I wouldn’t settle for anything less than fully composed John Williams original orchestral soundtrack.

Things I was thinking but not saying, that I should have said:

Why no good lesbian representation? Where’s Harry? Why sexualize Irene?

Why keep denying it if they meant to do it? Why frame it as a joke? That causes harm, when your story says one thing and you say another. That’s gaslighting. That’s no-homo humor, which excludes legitimate queer readings. If they’d meant to do it, or even if not, they could have just said, Yeah, that’s one legitimate reading, or, Anything’s possible.

There were red flags that I ignored because the emotional arc was so clear to me, and I encouraged others to ignore them. I’m sorry.

@shag-me-senseless-watson @freedfrom1895 @love-in-mind-palace @salve-regina-mills @wildgoosechased @benaddictmindpalace


Request:  alley-srm Hi! I saw you were taking request and I was wondering if you could  write an imagine with Theo x reader: They aren’t dating (yet)  in wich the reader is a badass girl type but is kinda shy for some type of things and somehow they’re in a situation where they have to sleep together (so the reader can’t escape) but she really isn’t comfortable with it and Theo tease her about it but she tries to hide it with sass and Theo says something like “you know i can hear your heartbeat right ?”. So when Theo finally got the reader to sleep with him she’s worried she might be taking to much space and stuff, she doesn’t tell him but he still figured it out, he jokes about it and reassured her. And the next morning, she wakes up earlier to clean up so she don’t smell or look bad and go back to bed thinking he won’t notice but he still does and laught it off. Sorry about the long explanation I dind’t know how to explain more shortly. Also this may be stupid but it sounded like a good idea at 2am 😂. Anyway thank you and sorry for my english i’m French but just wanted you to know that you have a follower from Reunion Island 😊🖑

A/N:I had to write this twice because I forgot to save it on the draft the first time *sighs*,but I hope you like it.Also I changed a few things,hopefully it turned out okay?

Word Count: 1.3 K words

Pairing: Theo Raeken X Reader


“Everyone got the plan?”Scott asked looking around the pack members.

“Yeah,so let’s split up,”Lydia said.

“Liam,Hayden and I will look around the woods,”Malia stated.

“Scott and myself will go to the Eichen’s House,”Lydia said.

“Corey and I will go the hospital and then to the sheriff’s station,after that we’ll try to make a quick trip at the library to find out more information,”Mason suggested.

“Sounds good,so Y/N and Theo,you guys need to go out of town,Deaton will give you some supplies,”Scott said looking at us.

“It’s fine,I can go alone,”I said.

“No,it’s too dangerous,”Liam chimed in.

“I’d rather deal with the danger than team up with Theo,”I scoffed.

“Well guess what?I’m not delighted to be teamed up with you as well,”Theo snapped.

“That’s enough,Y/N please do it for Stiles,”Scott pleaded.

“Uhh okay fine!”I said giving up.

*at the car*

The tension inside the car was overwhelming,Theo and I didn’t speak at all.It was kinda getting awkward.

“Why don’t you still trust me when everyone else gave me a chance?”Theo broke the silence.

“Just drive,okay?I don’t wanna talk about it,”I said looking out the car’s window.

Theo sighed and turned on the radio.

After few hours we arrived at our destination.

“Y/N,it’s so nice to meet you again,”Deaton said hugging me.

“Same here,how are you?”I asked smiling.

“I’m fine,hello Theo,”Deaton said shaking hands with Theo.

“Hello,”Theo said smiling.

After getting the supplies and chatting with Deaton briefly,we decided to head back towards Beacon Hills.

“Drive safely,it’s going to pour heavily tonight,”Deaton informed us.

“We will,bye,”I said.We bid our goodbyes before Theo pulled over his car on the highway.

After going few miles,the car suddenly stopped abruptly.The car broke down.Great.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”I said annoyed.

“It’s not my fault,this thing’s happen okay?”Theo said.

“Can anything get worse now?”I said,as if on cue it started pouring heavily.

“Fucking hell,”Theo sighed.

“Let me call Liam,wait,”I said grabbing my phone while Theo was trying to fix his damn car.”Shit,no signal,”I said frustrated.

“Damn it,”Theo said kicking the car.

“Your car is just like you,USELESS,”I snapped.

“Will you shut up,you’re not doing anything productive either,”Theo snapped back.

“What the hell do we do now?”I said annoyed.

“There’a a small motel here,it’s a twenty minute walk,do you want to check in there?”Theo suggested.

“Do we have any option?Lead the way,”I said sighing. 

After he pushed his car in a side,we began walking towards the motel.We arrived at the destination.We walked towards the front desk,where an old couple was in charge.

“Oh my my,what a lovely couple,”the old lady said adoringly.

Theo blushed and before I could deny her he spoke.

“Do you have any vacant room?Preferably two?”

“I’m afraid young man we only have one vacant room,”the old man spoke.

No this can’t be happening.I would rather stay outside in the rain than share a room with Theo.

“Bu-”before I could even finish the sentence,Theo gently grabbed me by my hand and took me towards the rented room.

“Ouch,what the hell?!”I snapped after getting inside the room.

“I knew you’ll create a scene downstairs,so I brought you here before you could do that,”Theo sighed.

“Nice Raeken,”I scoffed.

“Look,it’s only for one night okay?We’ll figure out something in the morning,please?”Theo pleaded.

“Uhh fine,”I said,not in the mood to argue.

We were completely wet from the rain,I noticed how gorgeous he looked with his damped hair.I didn’t notice it before because I was too occupied complaining about tonight’s circumstances.

“So,I’ll sleep in the bed,you sleep on the ground,”I ordered him.

“Excuse me?”Theo snapped.

“What?You want to share the bed with me and cuddle,and then kiss me goodnight?”I said sarcastically.

“I would love that actually,”Theo smirked.

“Pervert,”I shook my head.

“Well you’re the one who suggested this,besides cuddling is fun,”Theo smirked.

“Ever heard of sarcasm?”I sassed.

“I’ve got a idea,you sleep on the right side,I will sleep on the left side,and between us we will create a barrier with pillow,”Theo suggested.

“Hmm,sounds okay,”I shrugged.

Suddenly I heard someone knock the door,I opened it to see the old lady smiling,holding folded clothes in her hand.

“I saw you kids were completely wet from the rain,wear these,otherwise you’ll catch cold,”she said lovingly.

“Aww,thank you so much,”I smiled gratefully.

“Good night,”she left.

“Ahh she’s a life saver,”Theo chuckled.

“I know right,”I said shoving him his clothes.

“She still thinks we are a couple,”Theo laughed.

“Guess so,why didn’t you deny it downstairs though?”I asked curiously.

“I don’t know,”he shrugged.

He began getting his shirt off him,I couldn’t help but notice his abs,it was admirable.I quickly turned the other way.

“Don’t you have any shame?”I said scrunching my face.

He just laughed,”okay you can turn around now,I’m done changing,”he said still laughing.

“There’s a washroom you could’ve just gone there,”I said shaking my head.

He just shrugged.I went to the washroom and got dressed,once I came out of the washroom I saw Theo already fixed two sides of the bed creating ‘pillow-barrier’ between them.

“Nice job Raeken,”I said approving.

“Thanks,”he chuckled.”Do you want something to eat?”he asked.

“Nah,I’m fine,I just want to sleep,”I said yawning.

“Yeah me too,I’m so tired,”he said plopping on his side of the bed.

I hesitated to lay on the bed.

“Why are you hesitating?You can’t control yourself?You are having unholy thoughts?”Theo teased.

“Oh please,you’re not worth my time,”I sassed.

“Seriously though,you don’t have to feel uncomfortable,”Theo sighed,”I will not do anything to make you feel uneasy,”he finished.

“It’s not that Theo,”I said slowly.

“What is it then?”Theo asked gently.

“I-I just,”I began,”I never slept or shared a bed with anyone else before,you know,so I’m worried I might break this barrier and take up most stuff,”I said pointing to the pillow barrier.

“You’re seriously worried about that?”Theo laughed.

“Hey don’t laugh,okay?”I said embarrassed.

“Listen to me,it’s nothing to be embarrassed okay?”Theo said keeping his hand on top of mine.

When I didn’t say anything,Theo began speaking again,”Do you know,Josh used to sleep with his teddy bear and once he couldn’t sleep because his ‘Mr. Teddy’ was missing,”he tried to cheer me up.

“What?Really?”I laughed.

“Yes,”he said still laughing.

“Okay now I feel less embarrassed,”I said

“Good,”Theo said smiling.



“Earlier when you asked why didn’t I still trust you and so?”I said him.

“Yeah,”he said lowly.

“It was because I fell in love with you when you first came to Beacon Hills,then you broke the pack’s trust,my trust,I-I was so afraid to trust you again,what if I fall in love with you again,”I said,my eyes watering.”That’s why I always behave rudely around you.”

Theo looked shocked,then he began,”how did I not sense this before,because I felt the same way,but I was forced to get along with my plan,otherwise the Dread Doctors would’ve hurt you.”

“I don’t know why I said that,just ignore this okay?”I said wiping my tears.

“I’m glad you did,I want to destroy every misunderstandings and complications with you,”Theo said holding my cheek.


“I changed I swear,I won’t let you down this time,please give me a chance?”

“I don’t know Theo,”I sighed.

“Please just take this risk,I swear it will be worth,”he pleaded desperately looking into my eyes.

I nodded,he crashed his lips and kissed me slowly and lovingly.

He broke the kiss and mumbled,”Thank you,I won’t let you down.”

“You better not,”I smiled.

“Can I remove this barrier now?I want to cuddle you and kiss you good night,”he said grinning.

Oh the irony,”I chuckled.

*next morning*

I woke up the next morning,feeling Theo’s protective arms around me.I smiled and cuddled more to his side and sighed contently.

Dating Fred Weasley would include

• his heart falling for you because you could tell who was Fred and who was George

• him never playing jokes on you ever since

• you and him being good friends and always laughing together

• you catching feelings for him because he is always being cute and protective

• but you don’t think something can ever be between you two except friendship

• because of that you start going out with a slytherin boy

• Fred being super jealous

• Him telling you out of no where, that he is in love with you because he doesn’t want you to date some one else but him

• you being shocked but happy

• ok now we get to really dating lol

• you two being all dorky together

• him always holding your hand, fingers wrapped around each other

• leaning your head against his cheast because he is s o tall

• lots of forehead kisses like a lot

• him kissing you all over your face

• you giggling a lot because of that and him thinking you are cute

• you being jealous when he is wrapping his arm around other girls some time

• him telling you, that you look cute when you are being jealous

• also him telling you not to worry because he only wanted their notes

• sneeking out at midnight to enjoy the night together

• his family loving you and always invites you to family dinners

• Fred and you having pillow fights

• when he hits you a little too hard he always blows air at the place he hit you

• smiling at each other

• him staring at you totally in love

• you giving him kisses on his nose

• him telling you that he loves you to infinity ans beyond

• you knowing he really means it like that

anonymous asked:

"If you’re transphobic your gay card has been revoked. Sorry I don’t make the rules! You can’t be in a community if you hate part of it!!!" lmao lesbophobe



For all you know it could have been talking about transphobic gay men! It could’ve been talking about literally anyone in the LGBTQIA+ community like HOLY FUCK it was a really vague post

And guess what? Transphobic people make other people in the community feel unsafe! That is a fact! I don’t think misogynists, islamophobes, racists or antisemites should be allowed in the community either because they make members feel unsafe!

That post was joking about an issue that’s really prevalent throughout the entire LGBTQIA+ community!

You should audition for Elastigirl with that reach, Jesus…

- Mod Ford.

Seventeen’s Ideal Types (In my opinion) Part two

Dk: I could see our sunshine going for someone equally as happy and energetic as he is! Someone who lights up a room with their smile and is constantly cracking jokes that has everyone on the floor. I could see him dating someone quite confident and isn’t afraid to talk to new people or to make new friends. A person who’s completely outgoing and shines like a star.

Originally posted by pabospoiler

Mingyu: I think Mingyu would go for your average, typical person. Someone who maybe doesn’t get noticed but is his world and everything in between. Someone who sticks to themselves and their friends yet once you get to know them has the most beautiful and diverse personality ever! Someone who’s smiley and overflows with optimism! I think Mingyu would work to give them the world and more. 

Originally posted by fuckyeahmingyu

The8: I think Minghao would go for someone who has two sides to them. At first they’d be all sweet and adorable yet when they need to be they turn into the sassiest and most confident person you’ll ever meet; a bit like our cutie thug! Someone who’s skillful in many areas yet doesn’t show off to anyone. A happy medium is where Minghao’s heart would settle. 

Originally posted by mc-gyu

Seungkwan: Oh my gosh this boy would need a little sassy chicka! Someone who will happily sit there and playfully argue with our Boo! Yet, someone who looks after him and showers him with love and affection. Is kind and keen to try many things yet has a mischievous side to them. Seungkwan would want someone who’s constantly pushing him to do new things but someone who wouldn’t force him out of his comfort zone.

Originally posted by mountean

Vernon: I could see our Vernon going for an athletic person! Someone who could take peaceful jogs and come home to him with harmonious spirit. A person who likes to snuggle and talk about anything and everything! Someone who’s bursting with creativity and new ideas and discuses them with him. He’d want someone very smiley and cheerful yet isn’t afraid to show emotion. 

Originally posted by carol12lopes-blog

 Dino: I think Dino would go for someone who isn’t too girly but isn’t too into sports, someone in the middle. Like, a person who’s happy to chill in hoodies at home but would love to go out dancing all night! Dino would want someone to just relax with and be himself and them being able to show their true colours in return. I think he’d love a natural beauty who’s down to earth and overall just feels like home.

Originally posted by minghaeo

I hope you guys like this! If you haven’t already you should check out part one! Again, this is just my opinion! I don’t know the boys or what floats their boats, this is just for fun! 

Love and hugs!

Admin Amelia!


interncastiel  asked:

Oh gosh oh man do you think Yuki and Yuuri did ballet together when they were little kids??? Cause Yuki isn't he best at skating so he must have done at least a few years of lessons with Yuuri so he could spend time with his big bro

Yep yep yep!!!
And he’s just as good at ballet as Yuuri!!
Minako even once joked to him that he should start a ballet career instead of being locked up in his room and make music 24/7 XD

anyway, in the end, if you truly think about it, we really are the winners here because we are still right, we still know the truth AND we have the most awful, ridiculous beyond any explanation, self parodying complete mess of an episode which is a bottomless source of plot holes, bad cgi and inside jokes that we will be able to find and share till the end of time

Always My Girl (Kendall Jenner Imagine)

Request: No 

Pairing: Kendall Jenner x Reader (Y/N) 

Warnings: Explicit language

Word count: 988

NOTE: Unedited! Just a quick writing, hope you all like it :)


Originally posted by kendalljbrasil

I sat in the car, my legs shut tightly and lips pressed together while I tried not to breakdown for the fourth time since we’ve gotten into Kendall’s car.

Stop worrying, you pussy.

“Y/N. Please. You’re biting your lips and the last thing I want is to have you eat me up with those chapped lips” I knew she was joking and I knew better not to think about how her pussy felt between my tongue and mouth at the moment.

“Kendall, we’ve been together for what? Two months? And I’m meeting your family. Not to mention that you have like fifty people in your family”

“You’re overreacting. They’ll like you. I like you! Please stop worrying” she said, glancing at me for a second and giving her full attention to the road again.

She was in a pale blue blouse that made her nipples slightly seen and she had jeans that hugged her beautiful legs delicately.

Although, the last thing on my mind was her body when I was nervous as hell.

I ignored her cheerful talk -although, it did not help me to cheer up even the slightest- and continued to look around to see if we’re close. Cause if we were, I was going to try and escape.

“Okay. There we are” Kendall looked at me through her sunglasses and smiled.

“Can we do this another time? Please? I’m not feeling well and honestly, I feel like I’m going to shit myself any minute” I sighed again, touching my chapped lips which was something I always did when I felt nervous.

She let go of the steering wheel and a small giggle left her mouth.

“Come on babe. They’re already fond of you. Kylie already follows you on Instagram and mom made your favorite pie for tonight. Please Y/N?”

“Fuck this. Let’s get to it, my tits are freezing!” I let out a shriek and closed the car door behind me.

Kendall was already in front of me, waiting for me to hold her hand and walk towards the door.

She guided me through their front porch and we stood in front of the huge white door.

“Ready?” Kendall asked and waited for my approval.

“Wait. How do I look? Do I look okay”

“You look perfect, please stop worrying. I promise everything will go great” She gave my hand a squeeze which was interlocked with hers and rung the doorbell which made me even more nervous.

If that was even possible?

I heard the laughter coming from the house and gulped.

It shouldn’t be this hard, right?

I’m not meeting Obama. They’re just Kendall’s family. And they happen to be worldwide famous. 

No biggie.

“Look who’s here! We’ve been waiting for you two since this morning!” Kendall’s mom opened the door with her signature smile -I watch them on TV, so what- and hugged her daughter lovingly.

“Hey mom. Sorry, it took us long”

“Oh shush! And you must be Y/N! Come here,” before I took in what was happening, I found myself inside Kris Jenner’s arms.

She smelled like expensive perfume and…maybe a bit of wine?

“Hey,” I tried to make a conversation and awkwardly hugged her back.

I probably looked so weird.

“Please honey, come in. They’re all waiting for you two! We’re hungry,” Kris smiled and led the way, us following behind her and me looking like a lost puppy.

The Jenner household’s hall was decorated with two chandeliers on the ceiling and black and white coloured ceramic tiles on the floor. I held myself back from gasping at every single glamorous decorative object in the hall.

After ten minutes, we were sat at the long dinner table, everyone was chatting and having a small talk around me.

“You okay,” Kendall looked me in the eyes and touched my arm that was covered in lace material which felt quite itchy on my skin for a second.

I nodded softly and smiled back.

“So, how did you two meet?” I glanced at the voice that asked the question and saw Khloe smiling at us.

I was so nervous that I could even forget my name.

“Um…we met through mutual friends. At a club,” I smiled shyly.

“Nice! How old are you again?”

“I’m eighteen” I answered Kim’s question feeling a bit more relaxed.

“Do your parents know about you and Kenny?” This time, Kylie shoot the question with her wine glass on one hand and I felt myself visibly gulping.

I was literally sweating under the huge chandeliers and my tongue felt too dry.

“Actually…my parents don’t know about me” I hesitantly answered and waited for someone to roast me.

Or even kick me out?

I couldn’t even look Kylie in the eye while answering her question.

“Kylie, it’s none of your business” Khloe cut the silence and I felt the tension between each of us on the table.

“No- no. It’s okay!” I quickly spoke and gave a small smile to both of them.

Literally a small smile. Maybe even a half?

“No, I’m sorry, it’s really none of my business. Sorry for asking,”

“More pie anyone?” Kris finally cut the tension between us and offered more pie -apple pie, heck yeah- and I couldn’t be happier.

“I’ll get some,” Kourtney chime in.

They were all very nice and as the minutes passed, I felt myself getting relieved and more relaxed in front of them.

“You okay?” Kendall turned her attention to me and put a strand of hair behind my ear.

I shyly nodded and felt my stomach dancing in excitement.

“I love you,” she whispered while she leant in and kissed below my ear which made me squirm and giggle.

“I love you too, Kenny”

“You’re always gonna be my girl, you know that right?” She asked and I made an inhuman voice inside my head wishing that she didn’t notice my facial expression.

“I wouldn’t want anyway around”


White lies

Chapter 21 out of 365:

He’s going to hold your hand and make you feel safe. Never will you forget the times you both shared, as you both gaze at the breathtaking sunset, sharing the love and tender care; those deep substantial conversations, those slow walks, and those cheesy jokes that have never failed to crack you up. You might think he’s a keeper, but think twice. He might seem like he’s gorgeous and perfect; maybe he has become your sun, but don’t be fooled, cause he’s a storm, a tornado, a tsunami, a typhoon ready to destroy the home he made in you. He’s going to destroy you in the worst way possible, and you’ll defend him by saying you saw it coming. But deep down inside, you know you’re lying to yourself—you know in your heart and mind that you didn’t see it coming. You were caught up in the castle that he built using the walls he broke down.

That’s when you realized, his love suddenly died, knowing that destiny was never on your side. You grabbed his hand, and begged him to stay, but he just looked at you in the eyes and utterly walked away, leaving you hanging and in great pain. You consoled your broken heart; like painting solace at the fabricated artwork he created, while shedding tears as they part. Your heart was left astray; filled with self-disdain.

How could you hurt someone after all the efforts she has done? How could you be so dense and heartless to one whose love was relentless? You splintered her heart open.

But though he shattered you into pieces, he’s still part of your 11:11 wishes, wishing you could forget him, as if he never existed. Then you realized that maybe him turning his back wasn’t a bad start to a new day. You decided to close the chapter on him even if it was long enough to be a novel itself. You cried over that boy countless times before.

‘When are you going to realize this is not what you deserve?’ ‘Why are you putting yourself through this?’ ‘When you were little would you have wished this for yourself?’ ‘When are you going to put yourself first?’

No, it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t love him or move on. It’s okay to love, humans should love. Really, it’s all up to you. My point is, life isn’t all about relationships. Life is much more special than just a special someone. You are your own person. You are so important and he’s an idiot who doesn’t deserve to know you the way he did. Let him go, there’s nothing more you can do but to forgive him. Even if he never apologized for everything that he put you through, and didn’t even notice any of it. Probably because when people don’t usually notice it, they actually don’t care. You were just another person that existed—another person who made him feel like he’s worth something. But all he ever did was make you feel incomplete.

Overthinking until you could no longer find an answer in trying to figure out why he didn’t love you in the way like you put love into him. You always knew what you were to him but you tried to ignore it for so long. You convinced yourself otherwise, because when you know that the person you love does not give a damn about you, something inside you shuts off and you couldn’t deal with that, and you didn’t want to accept that so you kept trying to see something that was never there.

That’s what destroyed you in the end, felt like it was all a dream but you can’t wake up because it’s not.

Forgive him for all of it. Forgive him for the nights you stayed up crying because he chose her. Forgive him for leaving and then coming back just so he could leave all over again. Forgive him for the things he said that you both knew didn’t mean them.

And now, forgive yourself; you forgive yourself for everything that you put yourself through. Forgive yourself for letting yourself believe that he really was the greatest part of you. Forgive yourself for loving him when he wasn’t worth even a damn thought.

After stepping away, you can see it clearly now. After you’ve accepted what you really were to him, everything else made more sense. You destroyed yourself in loving him and for that you were sorry, and when you say you forgive him, you mean you forgive yourself; for giving so much of yourself to someone that didn’t care how your day was going. You forgive yourself for all the pain that you endured. It’s time to let go, and to do that you need to forgive.

Now you have a door to a new phase, a new beginning, and a new chapter you shouldn’t fear.

fcn ~ seconds

“Hey, Skip! How do you tell if a clock is hungry?”

“…um, I don’t think…”

“It’s a joke, silly, I’m not actually asking.”

Oh, right.”

“If you don’t know, you can just say–”

“I don’t know, Arthur, how do you tell if a clock is hungry?” 

“It goes back four seconds.” 

“Ha. That’s actually quite good.” 

“And why should you never trust someone with graph paper?”

“I couldn’t say.”

“They’re always plotting something. Oh, oh! And why can a pirate never finish the alphabet?”

“Go on…”

“He always gets lost at C!”

“…does this mean your joke book has been un-confiscated?”

“Oh, no, Mum’s still hiding that somewhere. But Herc got me this for Summer Christmas!” 

My Brilliant Bumper Book of Jokes and Riddles. I can see why he thought of you.” 

I know y’all sick to death of this topic but I just need to reiterate a few points about that PewDiePie bullshit to make sure I made myself sufficiently clear.

 - I called him an asshole (repeatedly) and said what he did was “a dick move”.

 - I said he probably wasn’t a Literal Nazi, deep down in his heart of hearts or his pancreas or wherever this particular character facet is located.

 - I said he was trying to be edgy for clicks, like an asshole.

 - I said his jokes weren’t particularly funny.

 - I said you can certainly joke about dark topics, but it helps if you actually have a punchline.

 - I said I felt he was making the world a slightly worse place by his choices.

He has since doubled-down on the edginess because he thinks it’s hilarious that the media calls him a Nazi if he makes videos where he looks into the camera and says “Hitler was right”. It’s a prank, bro!

Expect to see Literal Nazis relying more heavily on this approach, since jokes are Beyond Criticism and only Humourless Losers will critique them. Yeah, the alt-right is going to get even more insufferable.

If you’re a comedian who desperately wants to be edgy, is reaching for tired stereotypes from the 1930s really the best you can do? There’s no humour, no subversion, no inversion, this is the laziest form of comedy. Criticising people for reacting to it is lame as hell when the only reason it was done in the first place is to provoke that reaction.


I didn’t say Pewds was a Nazi (although he did), I said he was a fucking asshole.

anonymous asked:

One of your tags about Jimin & Tae sending each other hearts and it being an inside joke and JK finding it to be really funny when Jimin was explaining it, what are you referring to? I don't think I remember anything like that so I'm curious

a friend of mine actually noticed it first so i don’t wanna take credit for the observation lmao daskjd but in this fancam at around 2:10, they do the heart thing and jungkook imitated it and seemingly asked about why they were doing it? cause you can see jimin talking about it and gesticulating etc and jungkook laughed a lot, so there’s most likely some funny backstory to why they’re doing it so much these days lol

anonymous asked:

i was reading the prank war where you and Lafayette both cover each other in paint and all I could think was that line from titanic "paint me like one of your french girls" and sat there laughing at my own joke for like a solid 5 minutes


anonymous asked:

hey! i just wanted to say that the fic where stiles has a kid thats also dereks is not that one :-( i think the girl was around four or three which is the time derek left, and stiles is like "yeah you werent ready its okay" But thank you!

All is not lost! @scruffysterek says it might be this one, hopefully this is it.  -Emmy

Originally posted by funnypictures13

You’ll Grow Into Your Skin by crossroadswrite 

(11,847 I Teen I Complete)  *sterek, kidfic, mpreg

“So funny story,” Stiles winces, “Remember when I joked you couldn’t get me pregnant?”

Derek nods his head. He remembers pretty much everything from that day.

“Right,” Stiles bobs his head, stops himself and does a little ta-da gesture towards Jacy, “Surprise?”

  • ME: Where's the Gobo Milker? Gobo Milker?! These gobos aren't going to milk themselves out of these movers!
  • LX: I don't think he's milking it, I think that's exactly how long it takes.
  • ME: Ah, yes, good you caught my word play. Excellent. But where is he. GOBO MILKER!