you tell them joe

  • Random person: well this medication you're taking is just treating the SYMPTOMS of your disease, it's not actually helping you
  • Me, internally screaming: I have a CHRONIC illness. THERE IS NO CURE. I will take what I can get.
Sneaking Around

Joe trusted Y/N, with every fibre of his being, he trusted his girlfriend.

But when she was constantly sneaking off to who knows where, making up weak excuses, and disappearing for hours at end, that trust wavered. Just a little.

They had always been open and honest with each other, refusing to hide anything from the beginning of their relationship, so it was really odd to have Y/N be so secretive and keeping a secret from him.

He tried asking the boys, because they were close with her as well, but even they got all weird, avoiding answering the question directly.

It seemed like everyone was in on the secret except for Joe.

That didn’t sit well with him.

At all.

After Y/N called out some random excuse before slipping out of the door once again, Joe decided to take matters into his own hands.

So he did the rational and mature thing.

He followed her.

A small part of him did feel guilty, because he shouldn’t be following his girlfriend through the streets of London, but then he remembered she was hiding something from him, and the guilt was gone.

If anyone should feel guilty, it was her. Because she was making him paranoid.

And when he stumbled across what she had been doing, he realized he had every right to be paranoid.

Joe felt his blood boil as she hugged Jack tightly, grinning up at him. And when the younger Maynard placed a hand on the small of Y/N’s back, leading her into the restaurant, Joe figured out what was going on.

He just never thought that she would cheat on him.

Deciding to give them a few more days to come clean, Joe kept mostly to himself.

He let her give him the weak excuses, let her sneak off to be with Jack, and he remained at home, trying to convince himself that what he saw wasn’t real. That the woman he loved was not cheating on him with one of his best mates.

But neither of them came forward, admitting to their infidelity, and Joe was getting frustrated. So he decided to confront them.

“Do you ever plan on telling me?” Joe asked Y/N as they stood in the kitchen.

The other boys were over too, sat on the couch playing a video game. He hadn’t wanted to do this while everyone was present, but he didn’t want to give Y/N and Jack a chance to meet up again.

“Telling you what, babe?” She asked, pouring some chips into a bowl.

“Stop acting innocent!” Joe slammed his hand down onto the counter, making her jump and stare in shock over at him. The boys paused the game at his outburst, glancing over at the couple. “I know!”

“Know what?”

“Really?” Joe snapped, “You’re really going to try and act like you don’t know?”

“Everything okay?” Jack called over, standing from the couch.

“No.” Joe shifted his glare over to the younger man, “Because you two refuse to just admit it already!”

“Admit what, mate?” Jack stepped closer, sending Y/N a quick look, ensuring she was alright.

“That you two are bloody hooking up!”

“What?!” Y/N and Jack exclaimed in unison, staring over at Joe in confusion.

“I think Joe’s lost it…” Conor mumbled.

“You think I’m cheating on you? With Jack?” Y/N gaped over at Joe.

“I wouldn’t ever do that you!” Jack protested.

“Well, why else would you two have been sneaking around so much?”

“Because we were trying to plan you a surprise party, you ass!” Y/N snapped, anger coursing through her body. “I can’t believe you thought I was cheating on you!”

“A surprise party?” Joe repeated weakly, glancing between Y/N and Jack.

“Yeah, Y/N wanted to do something special for your birthday,” Caspar added, standing from the couch, “So we’ve all been meeting up to plan it. But we couldn’t do it as a group, we all draw too much attention.”

“Each of us have been meeting up in pairs, trying to get it all figured out,” Josh continued, standing as well.

“Shit,” Joe muttered, wincing as he noticed Y/N’s harsh glare being sent in his direction. “I’m sorry?”

“Do you not trust me?”

“No! I mean, yes! I do. I do, Y/N. I just…I got paranoid.” Joe pleaded, stepping towards her, “I’m sorry.”

“You should be.” She replied, her face softening, “I cannot believe you thought I was cheating on you. With Jack.”

“Okay,” Jack pointed over at her, “That is the second time you’ve said my name like that. Am I really that bad?”

“Yes.” The boys all said at once, but the couple ignored him.

“I shouldn’t have ever thought that. It was stupid. I’m really sorry.” Joe told her, pulling her closer.

“I wouldn’t ever cheat on you, Joe,” Y/N told him, “I just wanted to do something nice for your birthday.”

“I can still act surprised if you want.”

“You better, I worked hard on this party.”

“I’m sorry, love.”

“You should be. But really, Jack?”


“I know,” Joe chuckled, “I mean, clearly you have better taste.”

“Exactly.” Y/N smiled up at him, reaching up to kiss him.

“This isn’t fair,” Jack mumbled.

“At least he didn’t punch you,” Conor offered, patting his brother on the shoulder. “That would have been my initial reaction.”

Ignoring Joe

Jack was not an expert on love and feelings and relationships.

So when he realized that he had begun to have feelings for Joe, he did the smart and mature thing.

He ignored him.

It was the only solution Jack could come up with, because he honestly had no idea what to do. He had had feelings for guys before, that wasn’t the issue, but it had never been a good friend of his, someone he saw frequently, someone he got along with so well.

Since he didn’t want to lose his friendship with Joe, Jack though that if he ignored the smaller man for a while, his feelings would go away.

Whenever the boys were planning a night out, he checked to see if Joe was joining first. If he would be there, Jack opted out of going out, and if Joe was staying in, then Jack would join the others. This began to apply to more than just nights out in the club. It expanded to dinners, shopping, hanging out, and even filming.

Twitter and Instagram? Jack hid Joe on them.

Every aspect of Joe that was in his life, Jack found a way to ignore it.

But he should have known Joe would figure out something.

“Why the hell are you ignoring me?” Joe demanded after he pushed his way into Jack’s flat. “Did I do something to piss you off?”

“What? No!”

“Then tell me why you’re ignoring me.” Joe stared over at him, arms crossed.

“I’m not.” Jack protested weakly.

“You avoid hanging out with the others if I’m there.”

“I’ve just been busy.”

“You ignore all my messages.”

“My phone’s broken.”

“Twitter and Instagram?”

“Taking a social media break?”

“You do realize how bullshit those answers sound, right?” Joe questioned, his gaze never wavering.

“I’m not ignoring you!” Jack said as a reply, his heart racing as Joe stepped closer.

“Yes, you are. And I don’t like it.”

“And what if I am?” Now Joe was right in front of him, staring at him.

“Tell me why.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” Joe’s voice was softer, his body even closer than before.

“What are you doing?” Jack breathed out.

“I know why you’re ignoring me, Jack. And it’s really stupid.”

“If you know, why are you asking.”

“Because I want to hear you say it.”

“Say what?”

“You are so frustrating,” Joe growled before his hand moved to the back of Jack’s neck, pulling the younger man in for a kiss.

Jack’s surprise lasted only momentarily, before he was kissing Joe back, his own hand moving to Joe’s back, pulling the smaller body against his own.

When they pulled apart, Jack blinked slowly at Joe, who was smiling up at him, his fingers playing with the small hairs.

“How did you figure it out?”


“Huh?” Jack wasn’t sure if he had heard Joe right.

“He jokingly said that maybe you were ignoring me because you liked me. And then I started to really think about it. And you were quite obvious about it, but I was also oblivious.” Joe explained, shrugging.

“Do…” Jack wet his lips, noticing how Joe’s eyes followed the movement, “Do the other’s know?”


“Do you want to tell them?”

“No.” Joe replied, pulling Jack in for another kiss.

They talked about it more, deciding to keep it a secret, so they could figure out what exactly it was between them.

Although both were enjoying the thing that was between them. And they were also enjoying keeping it as a secret.

The boys were just happy that Jack and Joe were talking again, completely unaware of the fact that the two were doing more than just talking.

Both Joe and Jack knew that they needed to come clean to their friends eventually, especially when they became official. But they wanted to enjoy living in their own bubble for just a while longer. Joe told Jack that he had to make up for all the time that he ignored him, and he could make it up with kisses. Jack had no complaints over that.

They knew their bubble would be popped, and reality would set back in. So it wasn’t that big of a surprise when a few months after they had been dating, the boys found out.

Jack slipped up, although he blamed Joe. Because they were hanging out at Caspar’s one night, and Joe was leaning against the kitchen counter, smiling all adorably, and Jack had just leaned over to place a simple kiss on his lips, momentarily forgetting that the boys were all there.

“Something you want to share with us?” Josh asked, eyebrows raised as the couple pulled apart, cheeks red.

“When the hell did this happen?!” Oli exclaimed, looking between the two.

“When did what happen?” Conor questioned, walking back into the room. Caspar and Mikey joined the small group, confused looks on their faces as well.

“Joe and Jack, that’s what happened.” Josh smirked.

“Huh?” Caspar’s confusion only grew, and Jack shared a quick look with Joe, who shrugged.

“Jack and I are dating.” He told the others, his hand slipping into Jack’s.

“You are?!” Mikey laughed, “I was only kidding about him liking you! But corr, that’s great!” He clapped Jack on the shoulder. “Was wondering why you stopped pulling so much.”

“It was getting hard coming up with excuses for you.” Jack admitted, laughing as well, but his eyes shifted over to Conor, who was frowning slightly at Joe. “Con?”

“How long has this been happening?”

“A few months.” He admitted to his older brother.

“You care for Jack?” Conor shifted his attention to Joe, who blinked in surprise at the serious tone.

“Yes. A lot.”

“And this thing is serious?”

“Thing? Conor, this isn’t a thing. Jack is my boyfriend.”

“Good.” The older Maynard nodded, “Because I’ve seen people before just use Jack, and I don’t want that happening again.”

“Conor!” Jack tried to cut in, but his brother waved him off, his gaze focused on Joe.

“I don’t want Jack getting hurt. So if you aren’t in this for real, you need to end it now.”

Joe’s grip on Jack’s hand tightened, and he met Conor’s stare. “I wouldn’t be with him if I wasn’t in this for real. I like Jack, a lot. I don’t want to hurt him either.”

“Alright then,” Conor relaxed, smiling at the couple. “Congratulations then!” He patted Joe on the shoulder, “But just so you know, if you do hurt him at all. Well, you don’t want to know.” His tone was cheery, but his words serious, and Joe nodded, his own body relaxing as Conor turned away.

“Time to drink! We have a new couple to celebrate!” He said to the others, leading them out of the kitchen so Jack and Joe could have a moment alone.

“I’m sorry.” Jack said instantly, turning to look at Joe. “For outing us. And for Conor being crazy.”

“He just cares.” Joe told him, smiling. “And it’s fine, we had to come out at some point.”

“I know. But we hadn’t talked about it.”

“Jack, honestly. It’s fine. But you know we have to come out to my sister now.”

“Oh gods. She’s going to kill me.”

“Nah,” Joe headed for the living room, tugging Jack along with him. “She’ll just terrify you much like Conor did with me.”

“That’s reassuring,” Jack mumbled as they joined the others.


1.05  //   1.20

I Almost Forgot

“Come on, babe.” Y/N smiles sadly at Joe, who pouts a little, but allows her to pull him away from the car and towards the airport.

“Can’t you just, I don’t know, not go?”

“You know I can’t.”

“But I can pretend you can.”

Laughing lightly, she turns to face him, stepping back out of the flow of foot traffic. Joe drags her suitcase closer, righting it before he looks down at her.

“You’ll be visiting me soon. And we have FaceTime, and snapchat, and texting, and phone calls.” Y/N tells him, fingers brushing through his hair. “You’ll barely notice I’m gone.”

“Yeah, I will.” Joe replies.

“Most guys would be excited to have some time away from their girlfriend.”

“Not months away.”

“Only three. But really, with how much you’ll visit, less than that.”

“Can I come with you?” He asks weakly, their fingers dancing together at their sides.

“We aren’t going through this again.” She sighs, leaning forward to wrap and arm around him. She can feel the tears pricking at the back of her eyes again, and part of her really wishes she hadn’t accepted this new role.

But they both knew it would help her acting career immensely, and while yes, it would suck with her being in a different country for a few months, it would all be worth it.

“Let’s go.” Y/N says, stepping back. Their fingers lace together again as they start walking. They’re slower than the crowd around them, people dashing to catch their flight, but the couple isn’t in a rush. They made sure to come early so they could have time to say goodbye at their pace.

Once her luggage was checked and out of their hands, they made their way back to the seating area. There was still time before she had to go through security. Time for them to say goodbye.

“I love you.” Joe tells Y/N, arms around her as he looks down into her eyes.

“And I love you. Thank you for letting me do this.”

“Like I’d be able to stop you.” He chuckles softly, “But you’re going to be amazing. And I can’t wait to tell everyone that that’s my girlfriend on the big screen.”

“Don’t do that.” Y/N blushes, burying her face into his chest.

“I will, because I’m so proud of you. No matter how much I’d rather you stay here with me.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, arms around each other, the sound of the people and announcements dancing around them.

Pulling back, she glances at the clock. It’s time.


“No.” He replies, his grip tightening slightly.

“It’s time. I have to go now if I’m going to make my flight.”

“Then miss it.”

“I can’t.” When Y/N steps back, Joe reluctantly lets his arms fall from around her. Her heart breaks at the wetness in his eyes, and she lifts a hand to his cheek, her thumb brushing gently across it. “I’ll be back before you even know it. Alright?”

“I’m just going to miss you a lot.” He replies softly, leaning into her touch.

“And I’m going to miss you so incredibly much.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

With a sigh, she picks up her carry on bag, taking a step back. He wants to reach out, to pull her back into his arms, but he knows she has to go.

He watches as she turns to go, before she turns back around, throwing her arms around him tightly. He hugs her tightly, closing his eyes at the tears threatening to fall.

“I almost forgot.” She mumbles into her ears, shifting her head so their lips connect.

The kiss is simple, sweet, and filled with love. It’s also wet, and he isn’t sure from who’s tears.

“I love you so much, Joe.” Y/N mumbles against his lips. “Don’t forget me.”

“Never.” He tells her.

And again, he lets her step out of his arms, smiling at him even as the tears fall down her cheeks.

“I’ll see you soon.” She waves at him, and Joe’s eyes follow her as she heads towards security. He watches her until she’s lost in the crowd, and even then, he remains standing there.

It takes him another ten minutes before he forces himself to leave, heading back to the car.

Only a couple of weeks until he visits her. Only a couple of weeks until she’s back in his arms.

The Ballad of Joe Yogurtsack: A True Story of Fear, Friendship, Theft, and the Worst Roommate I Ever Had

The first time I met Joe, he was standing in the middle of my kitchen, offering me stolen yogurt from a large black garbage bag.

The kitchen was in Minneapolis, where I was renting a portion of a house while I interned downtown. The food, he told me proudly, he had lifted from the breakfast buffet of a nearby hotel. The man was my new housemate.

Keep reading

You’re An Idiot

When Joe stepped into the terminal and saw the frown etched across Josh’s face, he knew that she had called him.

Sighing, Joe pushed the hair out of his face and trudged forward, exhaustion already weighing him down from the long flight.

“Don’t start.” Were the first words out of his mouth as he came to a stop in front of Josh, who simply crossed his arms and stared down at him.

“You’re an idiot.” The taller man finally commented, spinning on his heel and stalking towards baggage claim, leaving the shorter one to scramble to keep up with the long strides.

The two remained silent as they gathered Joe’s bag and made their way outside of the terminal, climbing into the back of their taxi. Not until they were on the road, heading away from the airport, the warm South African air hanging around them, did Joe speak.

“What did she tell you anyways?”


“So helpful.”

“You were an idiot, Joe.”

“You’ve only heard her side!” He tried to protest, shifting in his seat to look over at Josh.

“Do I need to hear your side? Or should I just assume that she’s right, considering she usually is.”

Joe opened his mouth to speak, but snapped it shut when he couldn’t think of what to respond with. Instead, he shifted again, staring out the window to his left, lips pulling down into a small pout.

“Thought so.” Josh mumbled, looking out his own window.

“You made it!” Caspar grinned and pulled Joe into a hug as he walked through the door. “Welcome back to South Africa!”

“Cheers.” Joe smiled, sending Oli a quick nod over Caspar’s shoulder.

“Must have been a pretty boring flight.” Oli smirked back, and Caspar looked between him and Joe as Joe sent Oli a small glare.

“Did she tell you as well?”

“Nah,” Josh piped up from behind, stepping around Joe and into the house. “I told him.”

“Told who what?” Caspar asked, his head turning to look at them.

“Just tell the whole bloody country, why don’t you?” Joe mumbled, pushing past Caspar to toss his bag onto the couch.

“Alright.” Josh grinned, turning to face Caspar. “Joe and Y/N got into a incredibly stupid fight, which is why she’s not coming here for New Year’s Eve anymore.”

Caspar’s mouth dropped open in shock, and he stared at Joe, who rolled his eyes, shifting on his feet as all three boys stared at him.

“I’m not the only one to blame!” He finally yelled out, throwing his hands into the air.

“You’re the reason Y/N isn’t here!” Caspar snapped back. “What did you do?!”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Clearly you did, or else she would be here!”

“It’s not my fault!”

“Yes it is!” Caspar’s hands were clenched into fists at his side, his eyes narrowed at Joe, who in turn had crossed his arms tightly across his chest, his own eyes glaring back at Caspar.

“Come on, you two.” Oli spoke calmly, stepping between them. “Joe just got here, let him go get settled. Caspar, why don’t you and Josh run out and grab us some food?”

“Sounds good.” Josh replied for Caspar, throwing an arm around the blonde’s shoulders, leading him towards the door.

After the two had left, Oli turned to look at Joe, who shook his head and grabbed his bag, heading towards the part of the house where the bedrooms were.

The next couple of days weren’t much better. Caspar had decided that Joe had ruined the trip, and barely talked to him.

Oli tried to get the two to make up, and when that failed, he turned to Josh. But the ginger simply shrugged and said there was nothing to be done, not until Joe realized the stupid mistake he made.

Unbeknownst to the others, Joe was starting to realize it.

He had begun to check his phone more frequently, hoping for a message from Y/N, any sign that she was trying to reach him down in South Africa, and while there was never anything from her, there was the photo he had set as his background.

One of his favourites of the two of them, faces pressed close together, smiling broadly into the camera.

He loved that picture, because they were so clearly happy in it.

She hadn’t been happy before he left for the holiday.

Because Josh was right, Joe had been an idiot.

He didn’t even remember what the fight had been about any more, that was how stupid it was. All Joe did remember was the harsh tones and stinging words they had thrown at each other, the tears that left streaks on her cheeks, and the heart broken look in her eyes as she turned and walked away from him.

At the time, all he had felt towards Y/N was anger. But now, laying on his bed alone in South Africa, being ignored by two of his best mates, Joe felt alone. And empty.

There were multiple times he had tried to call her, but he could never bring himself to let the phone ring.

He just wanted to see her, to tell her he was sorry, that he had been stupid.

Instead, he was in South Africa.

Which wasn’t working for Joe, he decided.

Springing off of the bed, he marched into the living room where the other three boys were. They all looked up at him in surprise when he entered.

“I’m going back to London.” Joe told them firmly, expecting cries of protest.

“About bloody time.” Was the mumbled response he got from Josh instead.

“Have you booked your flight yet? When’s your car coming? What time will you be getting in?” Caspar started to list off questions, and Joe simply blinked over at him.

He shifted his gaze to Oli, who shrugged. “It’s the right decision, mate.”

And as Joe’s plane landed back in London, the evening of New Year’s Eve, he knew as well that it had been the right decision.

After climbing into his car, he pulled out his phone, finally making the call he should have days ago. But after it rang and rang, with no answer until her voicemail cut in, Joe knew the only way to get her to listen was to show up at her door.

So he sat back in his seat, watching the passing lights as his car made its way down the roads. Joe just knew he had to make things right before the new year was rang in. He refused to end the year on this note with Y/N.

“What are you doing here?” She practically spat at him when she swung open her door, revealing Joe.

“I was an idiot.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“I shouldn’t have gone to South Africa. Not without you.”

“But you did, Joe.”

“I know, Y/N.” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “And it took me going there to realize I was an idiot. Well that, two angry and disappointed South African’s and one upset pale British boy.”

He watched as Y/N’s lip twitched, fighting back a smile at his words.

“I’m sorry, love.” Joe reached out, taking one of her hands in his. “I don’t even remember what started the fight, because it was so ridiculously stupid. Because I’m stupid. I’m sorry. Please, don’t let the year end with things like this.”

“It was pretty stupid, wasn’t it?”

“If I could remember it, I’m sure it was.”

“I don’t remember either.” She admits, her fingers slipping through his, tugging him closer. “But I do remember you leaving the country.”

“I’m sorry.”

“And you should be. Completely ruined my New Year’s plans.”

“So you’re still free?”

“I’m tossing up a couple of different party locations.” Y/N finally smiled up at Joe as he snaked an arm around her waist, his other hand still linked with hers.

“How about a party for just the two of us, in your flat?”

“That sounds like the best option.”

“Thought so.” He replied, kissing her quickly. “So let’s get inside.” He started walking backwards, grinning as she stumbled slightly, giggling.

“I’m going to fall!” Y/N’s hand slipped out of his, so she could wrap her arms around his neck. Joe, in turn, moved his now free hand around her waist as well, keeping her from tumbling to the ground.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

throam movie but in the style of a really shitty teen movie.

“hi, im ryan ross. im just your average rockstar. im not ‘glam’ or 'new wave’, im just me. i play shows, get totes wasted, and score hot chicks, like my girlfriend, jac.”

*camera pans to spencer, holding drumsticks and smiling softly* “that guy over there is spencer smith. weve been best friends since the beginning. hes the drummer, in case you couldnt tell.”

*camera pans to pete, joe, and brent, looking menacing* “them? thats pete wentz, our manager-slash-resident bus fetishist, and my other bandmates, joe trohman and brent wilson. im not like them, im different. i care about the music, they care about fame.

*camera pans to brendon, reading a book with an unreadable expression on his face* ” and him? hes our roadie, brendon urie. hes so mysterious, and kinda hot, not in a gay way. i really wanna know him better… sadly, im just ryan ross, your average rockstar.“

*cut to title screen while eleanor rigby plays*

goddessofbadbitches  asked:

You mentioned on one of your gallagher girls posts that joe is the biggest zammie shipper ever and I'm literally laughing so hard because ITS SO TRU

I am approximately 3002% sure that Joe took a good look at Zach, took a good look at Cam, took a sip of his coffee and said, “What a fine Sunday afternoon… perfect weather for setting up the strongest power couple in the western hemisphere.”  Like, seriously, all of CMH is just Joe setting Zach and Cam up.

  • First of all, DC.  I mean, enough said, right?  You cannot tell me that Joe didn’t look at the two finest young Pavement Artists he knows and put them on each other’s tail.  You cannot tell me that Joe didn’t think that they were the only two who could keep up with each other.  You cannot tell me that Joe didn’t look at two of the kids he loved most in the world and say, “Ha.  This’ll be fun.”
  • Then there’s the brush passes in Roseville.  Oh god, do not get me going.  Cam literally turns to Bex first.  Like, Bex is definitely going to be her partner – no doubt about it – but then Joe is like, “Nuh uh.  Zach,” and he basically requires that the two of them touch hands at some point that afternoon if they want to pass the assignment.  JOE.  
  • Cammie looking in the pitcher and catching Joe and Zach’s reflection at the waffle bar.  We’ll never know what they were saying – I’ve looked for years and haven’t seen any evidence – but I am at least 89 percent sure that Joe Solomon was being the beST WINGMAN THAT CAMERON MORGAN COULD HAVE EVER ASKED FOR. Zach and Joe could talk about Cam for ages they are both totally amazed by her oh god I’m crying
  • When that scene got cut from the book (siiiigh the best ones always do), we had Cam and Zach detecting lies with each other.  Why was Cam doing this CoveOps exercise with Zach and not, say, her best friend Bex?  I’ll give you one guess.  That’s right.  It’s because JOE.  FREAKING. SOLOMON.  Told her to partner up with the person across from her.  When has Joe ever cared about who partnered with who?  Answer: never.
  • Also, I’m pretty sure that Joe bribed Madame Dabney into making them dance in C&A but HEY.  THAT’S NOT OFFICIAL. THATS JUST THE SHAMELESS ZAMMIE SHIPPER IN ME.
  • Anyways, I’m fairly certain that the main reason Joe kept pushing them together is because he wanted them to team up and form an alliance because he knew that they would work well together and that, together, they’d be one of the strongest teams out there.  Cam and Zach challenge each other time and time again, and Joe has sworn to teach those two as much as he can before they leave the safety of his classroom.  Part of that vow was making sure that they had people in their lives who would help them continue to grow, even if he wasn’t around to make sure it happened.  Whether he meant for it to end romantically or not isn’t as important as the fact that he loves them both, and he wants them safe, and he knew that they would watch out for one another. In the end, romance probably had very little to do with his motives.
  • But Zach is a good kisser so

UTD 2.08 || "Awakening" [x]

Trying To Put Me In An Early Grave?

“Are you trying to put me in an early grave?”

“Yes, Jack, that is exactly what I had in mind when I decided to move in with Joe.” Y/N rolls her eyes at her twin, who pouts and crosses his arms, leaning back against his sofa.

“So this is serious then?” Conor asks, narrowing his eyes at Joe, who shifts slightly in his seat.

“Yeah, mate. I mean, we’ve been together for nearly two years. And she spends most of her time at my place anyways…”

“Oi, we do not need to hear about what you do with our sister.” Jack cuts him off abruptly.

“Jack, shut up.” Y/N snaps at him. “And of course this is bloody serious, you dork.” She directs at Conor. “Why would you think it’s not?”

“No reason.” Her older brother shrugs, keeping his gaze on Joe.

“Besides,” She continues, “We aren’t telling you to ask permission-“

“We aren’t?” Joe asks, glancing over at her.

“No. We are telling them because we need your help. You and the other boys.” She finishes, smiling innocently at her two brothers.

“Now the truth comes out!” Conor chuckles, finally relenting his stare.

“She only wants us for our muscles.” Jack flexes his arm.

“What muscles?” Joe smirks.

“Hey, watch yourself.” Jack points at him. “You have yet to win me over.”

“Seriously?” Y/N rolls her eyes, “Jack. get over it. You were friends with Joe before he and I started dating.”

“Which makes me wonder if he only became my friend to date you…”

“He never met me until after!”

“That’s besides the point.”

“You are hopeless.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

“Oh, you are helping whether you like it or not.” Y/N smirks at Jack.

“What makes you think that?” He replies, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re my twin. You’d do anything for me. Deal with it.” Deciding the conversation was finished, she stands and heads to the kitchen, starting to make dinner for all of them.

“We aren’t done with you.” Conor tells Joe, who blinks in surprise as the eldest Maynard stands and follows his sister. Jack remains sitting on the couch, staring at Joe.

“What?!” He finally asks, throwing his hands in the air.

“Did you become friends with me to date my sister?”

“Seriously Jack? I never even knew you had a sister for like the first two months I knew you.”

“Sure. If you say so.” Jack mumbles before joining his siblings in the kitchen.

“This bloody family…” Joe says to himself softly, slumping back into his seat.

The next week, the boys have gathered at Y/N’s old flat to help her move.

“Oi, you really are trying to put me in an early grave…” Jack grumbles, looking at all the boxes she has stacked.

“Thought you had muscles.” Y/N laughs, directing Josh and Caspar on what boxes to grab.

Mikey and Oli appear from the other room, each with a box in their arms.

“How many trips are we going to have to make?” Mikey whines.

“As many as it takes, mate.” Joe pats his shoulder.

“You seriously owe us.” Oli tells him, glaring lightly at him as he walks towards the door.

“I promise to make you all dinner when the moving is done!” Y/N calls out as he and Mikey make their way down to the car.

“It better be the best bloody dinner ever…” Josh tells her, sighing as he and Caspar lift a particularly heavy box together.

“It will be every thing you like.” She tells them, laughing as they get caught briefly in the doorway. She has a few bags on her arms and follows them out, leaving her brothers and her boyfriend alone.

Joe doesn’t notice this at first, preoccupied with labelling a box, but Jack and Conor share a look before they move forward, crossing their arms as they stand shoulder to shoulder.

“Joe, we need to talk.” Conor says, causing Joe to jump and spin around, eyes widening as he realizes he’s alone.

“We do? Right now? We can wait until Y/N comes back…”

“Nope. This needs to be done between just us men.” Jack nods at him.

“We told you back when you first started dating her-“ Conor starts,

“And we are going to tell you again.” Jack continues.

“You hurt her, we kill you.” They finish in unison, causing Joe to gulp loudly.

“Right. I remember that talk.” He had never been terrified of his mates before, but the Maynard brothers had a fierce protectiveness over their sister, and had grown quite intense during their talk.

“Now that she’s going to live with you, it is even more important that you treat her right, and respect her.” Conor shifts his stance to one foot. “Don’t be an asshole.”

“And if we hear of you being an asshole…” Jack leaves the threat hanging.

Joe nods, “Got it. No asshole behaviour.”

He squirms slightly under their intense stare, and is startled when they suddenly burst out in grins.

“But all that aside, we’re really happy for you mate!” Conor uncrosses his arms, clapping Joe on the shoulder. “About bloody time you asked her to move in!” He winks as he picks up a box.

“Honestly, we expected this a lot sooner. I mean, she spends most of her time over there anyways.” Jack shrugs, grabbing a box as well. “And we haven’t seen her so happy. So keep doing whatever you’re doing.” He finishes, following his brother out the door.

Joe feels his knees give out on him, and he falls back against the counter behind him, letting out a long sigh, just as Y/N walks in the door, a confused look on her face.

“Why were those two chuckling to themselves? And why do you look like you saw a ghost?” She moves forward to wrap her arms around Joe, leaning against his body. He snakes his arms around her, dropping a kiss on her lips.

“I think you are trying to put me in an early grave.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that to me?” She wrinkles her nose, looking up at him as he chuckles.

“Because you’re trying to kill us.”

“I just want to move in with my boyfriend, that’s all!” She whines, letting her head fall forward against his chest.

“And you are. Finally.” Joe mumbles, dropping a kiss on the top of her head.

The two stay standing there, arms around each other in Y/N’s empty flat.

Until the boys appear back upstairs, telling them to start loading boxes, because it’s unfair for them to be loading everything, especially when it isn’t even their stuff!

The couple laugh, but comply, and each grab a box, following their mates down the stairs.

Shocktober at Tulley’s Farm || Joe

Masterpost found here

Word count - 1,163

Summary - The one with the flirty clown.


The Halloween season was in full swing. Leaves were changing color, scary films were on every channel, and the shops started selling giant bags of candy at half price. You were already thriving off of the autumnal vibes. You constantly bundled up in scarves and sweaters, drinking hot chocolate or pumpkin spice lattes, and often forcing your boyfriend, Joe, to join you in a festival fall photo shoot down the colorful streets of London. This was most certainly one of the greatest times of year. Perhaps, you would argue, even better than Christmas.

Today was the day you and Joe would join some of your YouTube friends at Tulley’s Farm for Shocktober. You were ecstatic. While you were a baby when it came to scary things (you always screamed the loudest at jump scares in the horror films) you somehow loved them. It was something about always being on the edge of your seat and never knowing what was around the corner that excited you; as long as you managed not to shit your pants.

When you and Joe arrived at Tulley’s, the whole group was already there. You made your rounds, hugging Jim, Caspar, Zoe, Alfie, Niomi, Mark, and all the others before quickly finding yourself at Joe’s side again. Joe laughed as you clung to him, your eyes darting around as if expecting a clown to emerge even whilst you were simply in the queue. “You’re so cute when you’re scared,” he teased you, pushing your hat down above your eyes. You pouted and adjusted it back on your head.

“Not scared,” you replied. “Just excited and a little tens-” You weren’t able to finish your sentence because someone snuck up behind you and grabbed your shoulders, shouting in your ear and causing you to scream. You turned and slapped Caspar’s arm.

“Right,” Joe laughed, pulling you close to him again. “Not scared.”

The first thing the group did was ride the haunted hayride. You were seated in between Joe and Jim, your hand gripping Joe’s tightly. Your adrenaline was pumping so hard, you jumped as soon as the tractor started moving. Joe just kept laughing at you. However, as soon as people started jumping on the truck, his laughter quickly ceased and was replaced with strings of curse words. You could tell he was trying to act tough. Whenever you jumped or screamed, he would wrap his arm tighter around you. You knew he was inwardly shitting his pants too. You both were having a blast though. Something about being scared was just fun to you two. Secretly, a part of you just enjoyed finding another reason to be close to Joe, and secretly, a part of Joe enjoyed that too.

Once you left the tractor ride, you were whisked away to the actual haunted house portion. There were different rooms and corridors, many filled with different themes. You and Joe were towards the front of the group, meaning you were always the first to be targeted for a jump scare. People with blood covering their faces would approach you with hunched backs, jumping in your face and screaming. Joe always yelled back, as if trying to get them to shut up. You couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Bloody hell, (Y/N), what are you laughing at?” he asked wide-eyed.

“No matter how many times you tell them to shut up, they won’t listen,” you teased. Before Joe could make a snarky reply back, a zombie man jumped out and startled another scream out of the group.

When you got to the clown room, Joe’s mood shifted slightly. You could tell a part of him was a tad more afraid than before; Joe always did hate clowns. Whenever one jumped out at him, he would grab you and hide behind you. “Quit using me as a shield!” you laughed, pulling him out from behind you. “Buck up, babe!” Joe stood up straight and puffed out his chest.

“I don’t know what you’re on abo-”

Once again, he was interrupted, this time, by a clown making some sort of hysterical noise that was between a laugh and a scream. “Oi! Leave us alone!” Joe finally fake-whined. “I just want to go home!” The girl just laughed again. “No! Stop it!” Everyone was laughing at Joe until the next person jumped out and made them scream.

You got to the last room which was filled with scary men covered in blood carrying chainsaws. “Fuck this!” Joe shouted. The man ran up to him, holding the chain saw high in the air. “I just want to get through!” Joe told him. The man just yelled again and waved the chainsaw closer to you. “Okay, okay, I get it you’re not ready for us to leave!” You laughed and pushed Joe forward, urging him closer to the door. As the man charged towards the rest of the group, you and Joe managed to escape the haunted house.

You immediately burst out laughing as soon as you were on the safe side. “Bloody hell, (Y/N)!” Joe laughed with you. “I really didn’t think you were going to make it out of there without shitting yourself!”

“Me?” you laughed. “I’m sorry, but who was crying about going home as soon as Miss Flirty Clown approached him?”

“She was flirting with me?” Joe asked sarcastically. “Huh, never thought I’d be able to pull a clown. Maybe I should go back in there and get her number.”

“Oh yeah, let me know how it goes getting past chainsaw man.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s not worth it. I’ll have to find someone else, then.” He paused. “Say, are you single?”

“Ah, no, sorry, I’m actually taken by some loser who hid behind me during half of the attraction.”

“Sounds like an arse.”

“Mm, only a little.”

Joe laughed and wrapped his arms around you. Before he could place a gentle kiss to your lips, Alfie and Caspar ran up to you and grabbed you both, screaming in your ears causing you to jump. “I hate you boys!” you laughed at them, slapping them repeatedly. Joe was doubled over laughing at you. You rolled your eyes playfully and ran over to him, jumping on his back and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“What are you doing, monkey?” he asked.

“I thought you said you liked it when I ride you?”

Joe laughed loudly and bounced you up a little higher on his back. “You cheeky thing,” he teased.

“Come on lovebirds!” Jim called to the two of you. The group had started walking towards the exit of the farm without you two even realizing. “We’re going out for some coffee and hot chocolate.”

“Yay!” you cheered from Joe’s back. “Onward, trusty steed!” Joe laughed and ran to catch up with the rest of the group. You grinned and kissed his cheek, but not before briefly turning your head to make sure no zombie was chasing you to your cars.

Creepypasta #278: Camping

It’s been two years and some change since this event happened. I want to say that I am a logical person; mumbo-jumbo doesn’t exactly jive well with me. If something strange happens, I immediately try to figure out why in a scientific way. I think this night terrifies me because there is no real scientific explanation, no real closure on what the fuck happened to us during a simple camping trip.

I’ll get on with the story.

As a twenty-four year old mother fresh out of the Navy, I wanted to spend time with my three year old, Harlee. Working in the military meant I spent a lot of her life away from her and I wanted to reconnect.

It was a spontaneous decision. I was good at those. I didn’t want a camp ground. I didn’t want other people around me pretending to be camping while they settled on a piece of mowed clearing next to their car. I wanted real camping, authentic primitive camping. That’s actually much harder to find, believe it or not. I turned to Google, found a place about an hour away, and packed up the car.

I invited the people living with me. I had a pretty complicated living situation with my (now ex) husband Joe, his mistress Chelsea, and our male roommate John. At the time, we were all under a ton of relationship tension, trying to figure out what we were all doing without arguing. So we were being friendly, cordial even. They agreed to the camping trip. We figured it would be nice to “get away” together. We even brought our dog, Jake.

The second we were all in the car, I punched the address into my navigation system and off we went. That’s when the trouble started, and probably when we should have turned around.

It was about three pm-ish by the time we left. My navigation suggested about three hours to the camp grounds. That was enough time to hike the mile from the parking area to the campgrounds, set up camp, and enjoy the night before it became too dark. Satisfied, we broke out snacks and enjoyed some time swapping funny stories. My daughter enjoyed eating cookies in the car.

By six pm, we realized we couldn’t find the damned place. My navigation told me we were there, but it wasn’t a campground. Frustrations running high, I stopped at a Walmart and asked for directions to the campground. After they were done laughing in my face, the kind women told me I had overshot the campgrounds by an hour. She handed me an old fashioned map, showed me the route, and continued laughing as I purchased the map. I left feeling angry, but also weirded out. The lady had laughed way beyond what felt like normal; I chalked it up to being a bitch and went back to the car.

Once we were on the right track, our friendly banter started up again. It was starting to get dark, but I didn’t want to be discouraged. We could do this. It was a stupid camping trip; easy-peasy.

I realized just how wrong I was when it took another two hours to find the campground. There was supposed to be a big sign. A little dug out area for a car or three. It was now dark and that big sign turned out to be a little sign half hidden by trees. We had passed it for two hours, going back and forth, arguing and fighting about if we should just give up the damned search for this stupid place. That’s when John noticed the sign.

Gratefully, I parked in the little grass lot. Joe happily pointed out that there was the little trail we were looking for. It looked like a well travelled deer trail. I was pumped now; this was the primitive camping I was hoping for. We put on our backpacks full of gear and sprayed each other down with bug spray. I handed Harlee her bottle of water and took her hand. She was tired, but excited to be out of the car. Jake trotted beside us, pulling his leash, tense but happy.

We meandered down the path for about half a mile before coming into a clearing. There were large mounds in this clearing and a little half-sheltered information booth. I remembered quite clearly that the website had stated to walk a full mile before coming across any camp clearings, but no one wanted to listen to me. Everyone was tired, it was dark, and we wanted to just set up camp.

I set Harlee down by the shelter as it had started to drizzle. The weather didn’t call for rain, but it was super hot and humid; we welcomed the light rain. We tied Jake up to the shelter as John dug a fire pit. Joe and Chelsea started setting up the tent. Harlee stuck by John’s side while I decided to find some dry wood. That’s when curiosity took over and I peeked at the information booth. I expected trail numbers and a big map; instead, I read about the Native American burial grounds.

“Hey guys? This is an Indian burial ground.” I told them, my voice shaking.

John and Joe shrugged. “We have Native American blood in us; I think we are good.”

Chelsea piped up. “I’m like, a quarter Native American.”

“Yeah, and Harlee is part Native American, too.” Joe pointed out, smiling as if proud his genes were good for something.

I nodded at them. “I’m fucking Irish. I don’t want to camp next to the burial mounds. If we keep walking down the path-”

John shook his head. “We’ll be fine, Eve. We’re all tired, and I don’t feel like hiking any further.”

“Fine. If something happens, I want it publicly known that I did not want to camp here.” I turned to the burial mounds. “I’m sorry. I mean no disrespect. Please let us camp here for the night.”

The others laughed at me and went on to make jokes about offerings before settling into their tasks. I grabbed the axe we had brought, as well as my forearm sized knife, and decided to find some firewood. My daughter stayed with John, just in case I happened upon a wild animal and needed to fight or run.

“Oh, wow. Look, some idiot partied here and left trash.” I muttered out loud.

Apparently Chelsea had followed me. “That’s disrespectful.”

I nodded. “Remind me, in case I forget, to pick that crap up before we leave. I don’t want any bad mojo.”

We decided to wander a bit down a separate path to find firewood. After we had struggled through some gigantic spider webs and had found a decent amount of wood, we wandered back to find a nice fire and our tent up. Jake was dozing peacefully by the tent and Harlee was playing in the dirt, content.

I smiled. Finally, camping! The crickets and frogs were croaking peacefully, the sky was thick with clouds but there was a decent breeze. If only it wasn’t so stiflingly humid…

I tried to get John alone to talk to him, but he was being withdrawn and gloomy. Joe and Chelsea wandered into the tent to relax and talk, which left me alone. I decided to get rid of some pent up frustration by hacking some firewood off a fallen tree down the main path, away from everyone, alone in the dark. My anger made me fearless…up until I made it to the tree.

I felt eyes on me. Not malicious eyes, but eyes none-the-less. As I walked down the path, I felt my anger ebb and fear fill it’s place. I was suddenly nervous. I’ve been camping before and have been watched by foxes, bears, etc; this didn’t feel like those times. I didn’t feel hunted, I just felt watched.

I tried to brush it away as being alone in the woods and having read too many horror stories. I started swinging the axe, and immediately felt better. I felt watched, but better. I swung until I had taken off most of the fallen tree’s bigger branches; my shoulders were aching and stiff. I grabbed my flashlight and went to leave when I heard something rustle in the bushes.

I jumped, axe in one hand, flashlight in the other. Chelsea came around the bend. My heart was in my throat, hammering, and I angrily asked what she was doing. She wanted to talk. I grabbed the newly cut fire wood and walked beside her, talking. After the talk, I wanted to go back to chopping at the damned tree, but I decided against it. I was too spooked.

I apparently wasn’t the only one spooked. When we got back, John and Joe were talking rapidly, wide-eyed. I dropped the firewood and asked what had happened.

“We saw a Native American woman!” Joe exclaimed, pointing to the place where I had seen the trash. “She was right there! John saw her too, didn’t you?!”

I looked around for a moment, perplexed and a bit incredulous, before realizing Harlee wasn’t around. “Where’s Harlee?” I demanded, suddenly afraid.

“In the tent, playing. She was getting eaten up by bugs even with the bug spray.” Joe stated quickly. “Can you believe it? John, tell them!”

John didn’t say anything. He sat by the fire and poked at it, his eyes wide. For a moment, we were all silent, listening to the fire. It was as if we all felt it at the same time. That same feeling of being watched overwhelmed us, and I swallowed hard, my hand going to the knife at my hip.

“Do you guys feel-” I started.

At that moment, John jumped up and put his finger to his lips. “Shh! Do you hear that?” He asked, his eyes widening further.

We listened. I suddenly noticed all the normal forest noises had stopped. No crickets, no frogs, no hissing insects; just silence. And the pounding.

“Is that…drums?” Chelsea whispered. We were all standing, all crowding against each other.

“It sounds kind of like the ocean.” I whispered back. “But we are smack in the middle of Florida; there is no ocean around here. Just a small lake.”

“No, definitely drums.” Joe said, his voice sombre.

The bushes across the fire rustled and we all jumped straight out of our skins, but the howl that followed the rustle was enough to elicit a scream from Chelsea. It sounded awful; like a woman being murdered viciously. It also sounded close. John turned to look at me and my eyes widened.

“Get in the tent!” I yelled. “Put another log on the fire; it could be a cougar!”

Florida had what they called panthers. They looked like mountain lions, and were one of the reasons I was carrying the big knife. Not that I could kill one, but I wasn’t going to go down without a fight if it did happen. The howl didn’t sound like the panther’s call (I had Googled it, just in case), but I wasn’t going to chance it. Jake, ever calm and noble, was snarling and yanking on his leash; I untied him and put him in the tent with us.

For a while, we all sat in the tent and listened. The strange silence had returned and we commented on it for a few minutes. Chelsea decided we should listen to some music on her phone, to help us focus on something else. I was watching the fire through the little mesh opening that served as our window. The fire was dying down. I didn’t like that, not even a bit.

“We need to put more wood on the fire.” I said in the music laden silence.

No one offered to go out there. It had been about half an hour since the strange scream. My daughter was still politely playing with Jake and the toys we had brought her. It was strange that she was still up, and was so quiet the entire time, but we were all too high strung to really notice. Angry that the boys weren’t offering to stoke the fire, I grabbed the axe and a flashlight.

Keep reading

beach date || samseph

“Are your eyes closed?” Joe asked, turning to see his fiancee while leading him to a spot on the beach just for the two of them. Since the start of the trip, they haven’t had the chance to have some time alone together, but today is the only time they can spend time with each other. They arrive at a small cove on the beach, far from the tourists and bustling noises from the city. A blanket with an umbrella and picnic basket were centered in the cove just for them. “You can open you eyes now, babe.” Joe tells the other male. @sammytheson

Finally got Mad Max on dvd and sat down to watch it with my partner (who never got a chance to see it at the cinema).

Here are some semi-coherent thoughts from a classicist: 

By using the term ‘imperator’, the comparison to Rome is invited.
Immortan Joe, The Bullet Farmer and The People Eater as a triumvirate.
Men, emperors, concerned to make themselves gods even before they die. The imperial cult.

The mother’s milk, the women treated as cattle - Hera, Io, once again, the “Greek impulse to see female sexuality in terms of cows.” (Padel, 1992: 121), though perhaps it’s not such a specifically Greek impulse, in the end. The ‘humanisation’ of the rapist, the playing down of rape: the mental and emotional abuse on top of the physical abuse. The wives have it good, Immortan Joe tells them. If you ignore the slavery and the rape. Io will have it good, Prometheus tells her - Zeus will impregnate her with a gentle touch. Nevermind that it’s still rape. Nevermind that she has been dragged from her home and family and chased across the world until eventually she finds a place she can settle down. Just one more woman racing through a hostile world desperately looking for a place to call home. 

The Citadel = agriculture
Gas Town = commerce
The Bullet Farm = war

Who killed the world? Ask the wives. Men like Immortan Joe, the camera tells us, framing him in front of their written question. The world ended. There was an apocalypse. Where are the four horsemen? What happens to them afterwards? This would not be the first work that has replaced their horses with cars. (Good Omens, Supernatural).

the Bullet Farmer (The Bullet Farm) as war
Immortan Joe (the Citadel) as famine
The People Eater (Gas town) as pestilence (pollution, Good Omens)

But Death is always different. Death is not like the others. (again, Good Omens, Supernatural). Death is Furiosa, and Death comes even for her brother horsemen, in the end.

Mad Max as Odysseus - the City Sacker, but an Odysseus without hope. An Odysseus who cannot return home no matter how far he wanders. There is no Penelope in this world - no woman beset by men trying to force her to take their hand in marriage, whose only hope is to hold them off until her husband returns. No. Instead these women are Medeas and Amazons. In this world the suitors already took them. They could not hold them off. And now they will not wait for a man to save them. They will save themselves or die trying.

Furiosa as Persephone? She left and the Green Place died. Now she returns to the Many Mothers - the Many Demeters, who hold the seeds, who are ready to replant and revitalise the world, to make the crops grow again, if only they could. She cannot revive the Green Place with her return, but she can take them back with her to a new Green Place, her city, a city of Famine and Death. In the post-apocalyptic world, the borders and boundaries break down - the imaginary borders of countries, the borders between the world, between Olympus, and the earth, and Hades. Now Hades is the Green Place. Persephone no longer ocillates between her roles, she is both, all the time. Time has no meaning in the post-apocalypse. Season are one more boundary that has disappeared.

Amityfest (Joe Sugg Imagine)

Requests: Love your writings! Could you do one where your part of the amityfest group and joes not sick ad it’s all cute and fluffy on and off stage thank you!

Love your writing! Could you do one where your part of the amituyest group and your on stage and joes not sick this time and it’s all cute and fluffy please? 💗💗💗

Could you do an imagine where y/n is a youtuber as well and she is dating Joe and they try to find a way to tell their fans? Thanks I love your imagines!


It was the last show of Amityfest tonight and you and the rest of the group were beyond excited. It had been some great shows the other nights and you were all excited to go see a new crowd today. You had just got back from your meet and greet with Tan, Zoe, Louise and Niomi and you were now sat backstage with the boys, waiting to go on stage. You could hear the crowd fill up the venue which only made you more excited.

“How was the meet and greet?” Joe asked you before placing a kiss on your cheek and placing himself beside you on the sofa. Joe and you had been dating for a while now but you had never made it official. Everyone knew you were kinda together but you had never “defined the relationship”. Because of the big audience both of your youtube channel had, it was hard to find a proper way to tell everyone that you were together.  

“Everyone was so sweet, how about yours? Anyone grabbed your bum this time?” you asked with a laugh, because yesterday a girl had squeezed Joe’s bum which he hadn’t stopped talking about, only to your amusement.

“Unfortunately not. I was hoping she would come back though,” Joe joked and you pushed him gently with a laugh.

“I need to ask you about something, by the way,” Joe then said with a serious look on his face and you looked him in the eyes.

“You sound so serious, Joseph,” you said in a sarcastic voice which made Joe chuckle.

“I am a very serious person, you know,” Joe said in a bragging voice which made you roll your eyes at him with a smile.

“To the stage,” Dom, your manager, now announced into the dressing room and you all got up to go to the stage.

“I’m so excited,” squealed Zoe who intertwined her arm with yours and you squealed with her in pure excitement.

“Me too,” you said in an excited tone whilst you followed the others to the stage.

You were all waiting in the corner of the stage whilst you were being presented. When you heard your name you ran onto the stage along with the others and you were met by a huge applause from the audience. It always overwhelmed you how much love your viewers gave you at events like these.

“What’s upppp everybody?” Caspar yelled into his microphone as we all sat down on the chairs which were placed on the stage.

“Me and Caspar are gonna start out with a Q&A with questions from you guys!” Louise said into her microphone and you looked over at Caspar and Louise who stood beside Jim, Tanya, Niomi, Marcus, Alfie, Joe, you and Zoe, who were all sat on the chairs.

“First question is to Alfie: do Zalfie ever kiss?” Louise read out loud and you all started to laugh.

“I will let you in on a secret guys, Zalfie actually do kiss,” Alfie then almost whispered into the microphone making everyone laugh. The questions continued and suddenly the spotlight was on you and Joe.

“To Joe: when will you and Y/N become official?” Caspar read out loud and you could instantly feel your face heat up. You and Joe looked at each other with shy smiles and red cheeks before Joe took the microphone up to his mouth.

“I’ve actually been wanting to ask this girl the same question but I’m not brave enough, because…. just look at her. Her beauty startles me everyday,” Joe said into the microphone which only made you blush more, and the audience to cheer louder.

“Ask her bro!” yelled Caspar into his microphone which made you laugh. You really wanted him to ask, and just the thought made your belly tickle.

“Screw it…” Joe then said before getting out of his chair to walk over in front of you. He took your hand in his and the audience cheered loudly.

“This is too cute,” said Zoe into her microphone before Joe started speaking.

“You are my favorite person to be around and I want to be around you for a very long time, so do you wanna go out with me? Officially this time?” Joe said and you laughed before you nodded which made Joe smile big.

“But only if you promise me you’ll never fart under the duvet again!” you said with a pointed finger at him which made the whole venue laugh.

“Don’t tell them,” Joe said as a joke and you both laughed.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss,” cheered Caspar into his microphone and soon the whole venue were cheering at you and Joe to kiss. You looked at each other with shy smiles before Joe gently touched your cheek before leaning in for a kiss. You kissed him with all your heart and for a moment you forgot that you were kissing in front of all your viewers. You pulled away from each other, both with red cheeks and the audience kept cheering along with your friends on stage. You continued the show with butterflies in your stomach and with Joe close to you at all times. It was like you were magnets and couldn’t be away from each for too long. It was amazing to finally get to call Joe your boyfriend.


Kinda mixed all three requests together. Hope that’s okay! :) I’m off to Spain tomorrow btw, so there won’t be that many posts as I’m just gonna enjoy some family time. Hope that’s fine with y’all. Ok I’m out, byeeee

Cute Castles (Part 2)

“Babe we have to tell them at some point” Joe points out as you grab some banana from the freezer to make into your smoothie.
“And I’ve told you that we will” You sigh, knowing you had been through this plenty of times, “We’ve got to wait for at least this next scan and then you’re free to tell anyone”
“Alright I just can’t wait” Your boyfriend grins, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his head on your shoulder.
“Neither can I” You chuckle and kiss his cheek before going to the blender.
Just then your phone pops up with a message from Zoe.
It read- ‘Everyone’s going crazy about the party vlog! It seems I’m not the only one who thinks you two need to have a baby soon😉’
You show the message to her brother who smirks, “Not long sis” He mumbles.
“I’m sure she can wait a couple days” You smile.
~~~Time Skip~~~
“We can’t just tell people normally” You roll your eyes, trying to think of some original way of telling everyone that you were expecting a baby.
“Maybe we do what Anna and Jonathon did with the balloons” He suggests, still holding the latest scan in his hands.
“Nope far too simple for us two” You chuckle, standing from the bed and kissing his cheek, “I’ve got the perfect plan”
After explaining everything to him, you get to work with messaging your closest friends, all calling them together for an urgent event tomorrow. Of course, it was short notice, but with some compromise, you eventually got together a list of everyone you wanted to tell to all meet at one place. Same time, same announcement.
You and Joe having a baby was always a speculated topic amongst everyone. You were ‘just that sort of couple’ according to them. They couldn’t not picture you with a family and all of them wanted it to be soon. You had never been so sure about children before you met Joe. You just figured you’d be the fun aunt that all your nieces and nephews loved. Yet, when you and Joe got together and actually became serious, that thought had changed. You could imagine yourself all cuddled up on the bed on a Sunday morning, Joe’s vlogging camera in hand as he makes some deranged yawning noise that makes your child giggle in hysterics. Or finally taking them to Disneyland, your child pleading with Joe to make him do the most stupid things or wear the stupidest hats. And of course, the Sugg would give in and make himself look crazily foolish just to see the final result of a big grin on his child’s face. Yeah, you could picture that.
And now it was becoming a reality.
“Looks like we’re gonna need a few supplies” Joe smiles and grabs his keys.
Your plan was falling into place. Time to find a bloody bouncy castle…
(Leaving you with another cliffhanger!!! Part 3?!)