you snarky little shit

Garrett and Marian - Legacy Banters
  • Marian: Well... not quite how I imagined this family reunion going. I was envisioning more hugs and maybe some wine over dinner. Not attempted assassinations
  • Carver: Really? You think this is so abnormal for our family?
  • Marian: Well you got me there
  • ---
  • Bethany: What could our father have to do with this mess? The Carta have had more than enough time to try and find us
  • Garrett: I imagine that having two Champions of Kirkwall with the last name Hawke may have tipped them off
  • Bethany: But it's been three years since you and sis defeated the Arishok. Why wait that long?
  • Marian: Well I don't know about you, but if I was going to go after the people who killed an Arishok then I'd probably want to make a little time for planning, wouldn't you?
  • Carver: Do these morons strike you as the sensible type?
  • Marian: Two points in one day Carver? Don't tell me the Templars are actually drilling some wit into that skull of yours
  • Carver: *laughs* At least /my/ wit makes a point, dear sister
  • Bethany: Ooh, that had to hurt
  • Garrett: Do you need some healing for that one, Marian?
  • Marian: Oh shove off, all of you
  • ---
  • Garrett: And we're back in the Deep Roads
  • Marian: Oh it's not that bad. I mean... Look at all the... Ugh, no, you're right this is terrible. Let's all promise never to go to the Deep Roads after this. Three times is enough
  • Garrett: Three times? When was the second?
  • Marian: Um... well...
  • Carver and Bethany: *sing song voices* Somebody's in trouble
  • ---
  • Bethany: Varric wrote to me the other day
  • Garrett: Telling another of his stories, I bet. Was it the one about the high dragon, because that didn't really-
  • Bethany: No. He was giving me an update. On you, actually. I was... worried, so I wrote to him and asked
  • Garrett: I'm fine Beth. Really
  • Bethany: No you're not. Not yet. But I know you, and if anyone can get past it, you can
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • ---
  • Carver: You might want to be watch yourself, Garrett
  • Garrett: How come?
  • Carver: Ever since you sided with Orsino the other day, there's been... Rumours. Meredith isn't happy with you, and it's only because she allows it that you're still free
  • Garrett: So is she going to have me dragged to the Circle, or is she getting the Brand ready now?
  • Fenris: Don't say that
  • Carver: I would never let it get that far. But I thought I'd warn you, just in case you were thinking about making her mad
  • Garrett: I appreciate you telling me Carver. Don't worry. I'll be careful
  • ---
  • *after completing Malcolm's Will*
  • Marian: So... the stonework down here is... lovely, isn't it?
  • Carver: Not now, Mary
  • Marian: I was only... Alright
  • ---
  • Marian: Are you okay, Gary?
  • Garrett: I'm fine... Just...
  • Marian: He loved you. And Bethany. He'd be so proud of you
  • Garrett: You sound so sure of that
  • Marian: Of course I am. Because it's true. And don't let that nasty shit in your head tell you otherwise - it's a liar, remember
  • Garrett: *chuckles* Alright
  • Bethany: Be careful sister, people might think you've got a heart after all
  • Marian: *dramatically* Oh no! *clutches chest* I think... I think I'm getting feelings! Quick, someone beat them out of me!
  • Carver: *laughs* You be careful what you wish for sister
  • Isabela: I'd rather ride them out of you
  • Garrett: Ah, and there's the dirty line. I was starting to worry something was wrong Bela
  • Isabela: And you're as sweet as ever, Garrett
  • ---
  • Varric: Twenty silvers, that's my final offer. Take it or leave it Elf
  • Marian: What are you betting on, and why am I getting left out of it?
  • Varric: You want in? We're betting on what it'll take to get Junior and Waffles to hug
  • Garrett: *groans* You're not calling me 'Waffles' again, are you?
  • Varric: I have to. Every time I say 'Hawke' all four of you turn around. I'm being considerate
  • Carver: I bet there's /someone/ here who'd like to see him covered in syrup
  • Garrett: Carver!
  • Fenris: *embarrassed noises*
  • Isabela: Ooh, new friend-fiction idea!
  • Garrett: Don't you even dare!
  • Isabela: Too late, already dared. Can we make camp? I need to make notes
  • ---
  • Varric: Hey, Rivaini, I'm expecting royalties if that friend-fiction of yours gets published
  • Carver: When you didn't even come up with it?
  • Varric: You wouldn't have brought up syrup if I didn't call him Waffles
  • Garrett: Maker save me...
  • Bethany: And me...
  • Marian: Usually I like dirty things... But this is too far, even for me
  • Isabela: Are you saying you wouldn't like it if /I/ were covered in syrup?
  • Marian: Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were my very hairy twin brother, Bela
  • Isabela: Well when you put it that way...
  • ---
  • Isabela: I always thought we were the loud ones, you know
  • Fenris: What?
  • Marian: I know right. Maybe they're just less shy about it now
  • Garrett: Do I want to know?
  • Isabela: You already know. Or did you deafen yourself?
  • Marian: To think, they don't need us shouting encouragement through the wall anymore. I'm so proud
  • Isabela: Our boys are growing up so fast. Maybe next they'll master foreplay
  • Carver: Oh Maker, I do not want to hear this
  • Bethany: Neither do I
  • Garrett: *loudly* And I would be very happy if we could stop talking about this. Right now
  • Isabela: Yeah, see. That kind of loud
  • Fenris: *deadpan* If you're so fascinated by Garrett being loud, then you must not be doing a very good job at making Marian scream, Isabela
  • Marian: Oooooooo
  • Isabela: Oh, you snarky little shit
  • Bethany: *loudly* If we could stop discussing my older brother's and sister's sex lives, I would appreciate it
  • Carver: *loudly* Oh look, more darkspawn. Let's kill them so we can stop talking about this
  • ---
  • Marian: So our choices are the nice, Tainted madman, or the mage who wants to let a darkspawn magister out of his hole in the ground? Why can we never make nice decisions, like what kind of wine to have with dinner?
  • Fenris: I agree. It is the only decision worth making
  • Marian: When you're not throwing it at the walls, I assume?
  • Fenris: That was six years ago
  • Marian: And you never offered me a glass
  • Fenris: You are recycling jokes now? Has the great Marian Hawke's wit finally lost it's edge?
  • Marian: Ooh, you are just asking for it now
  • ---
  • Varric: You okay Garrett? You've been a bit quiet since-
  • Garrett: I'm fine Varric. There's more important things to be worried about right now
  • Varric: It's not easy to realise that someone you looked up to wasn't quite what you imagined. You ever need to talk, you know where my suite is
  • ---
  • Isabela: So... is no one going to bring up the fact that Varric called Garrett by his name earlier?
  • Varric: What are you talking about Rivaini? Waffles and I were just having a friendly chat
  • Isabela: Don't bullshit me. You called him Garrett. I heard you
  • Varric: That doesn't sound like me, Rivaini
  • Marian: He called you by your name when Velasco carted you off to Castillon
  • Isabela: What?! No fair, I didn't get to hear!
  • ---
  • Bethany: Are you sure about this, brother?
  • Garrett: It has to be done
  • Bethany: I could do it. I am a Hawke after all, and a mage. You don't need to-
  • Garrett: No, Bethany
  • Bethany: But-!
  • Garrett: Bethy, if I let you use blood magic, I'd never be able to live with myself
  • Bethany: And if you do it, will you be able to live with it?
  • Garrett: I'd rather it be me than you
  • ---
  • Varric: If he pulls a dragon out of his ass, I'm leaving!
  • Marian: Oh great, and now he's almost certain to pull a dragon out of his arse! Way to go Varric
  • ---
  • Bethany: Here, you didn't get a chance to close that wound earlier
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • Fenris: I just hope it was worth it
  • Marian: Well we /did/ just kill a darkspawn magister. I can't wait to hear how Varric tells this one
  • Varric: Well I doubt I'll have to exaggerate a damn thing, considering how weird this shit is
  • Fenris: That isn't what I meant...
  • Garrett: I'd have avoided it if I could, but someone had to. And if it meant sparing my little sister from that...
  • Fenris: I understand. But... Please, just be more careful from now on
  • Garrett: I will, I promise
  • Isabela: You two are so sappy... It's actually rather cute

anonymous asked:

so i don't know if you're still doing the Dex poetry series, but i would be interested in seeing if Dex ever shows Nursey the poems and how that goes down, if that's okay! thank you :))

I am still doing the poetry series (I promise!), but I haven’t had any inspiration recently. I will continue it if and when the inspiration strikes. Really, I will.

If anyone doesn’t know, this is my poetry series tag and it’s a series of poems written from Dex’s POV.

Thank you for the prompt! The poems are actually not from the POV of my usual HCed Dex, so it was cool to write from another version of Dex’s POV. :)

(Also, I was in a weird mood, so this got super introspective and complicated but I feel like it fits for Dex’s relationship with writing so I’mma just go with it.)


           It’s not that Dex isn’t good at hiding things. He is. He grew up in a house with very nosy parents and five siblings who assumed anything of Dex’s was theirs as well. He learned how to keep things private, found nooks and secret spots as easily as he found studs in a wall and learned how to be just conspicuous enough to be overlooked. Of course, the newfound literary part of him can’t help but see this as a metaphor, the kid trapped in the closet is good at hiding things, and he realizes it with the same kind of bitterness he attributes to all of his newfound literary perspectives.

           It’s mostly Nursey’s fault anyway, that Dex is so literary now. Dex could just as easily blame Samwell as a whole, what with requiring he take a literary course, but it’s harder to blame an institution than a person and Dex, somewhat out of character, took the easy way out in this time. Yes, the first English course was required, but the second was not. The second was a poetry course usually taken by freshmen who hadn’t technically chosen their major yet but were dead set on English. Dex had been the only science oriented person there and, at first, he had felt out of place. That, too, Dex realized later, was a metaphor.

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bloodycreampuff  asked:

Honestly bless the anon who send mackassie :D, for the thing idk maybe bubbline? (Someone already ask hollstein and I can't think in other pairing ;-;)

Oooh, I can try to do Bubbline! and yes, yes that anon is wonderful! So far I have done: Supercorp, Supercat, Hollstein, GeneralSupercorp (Lucy/Lena/Kara), Jori and Mackassie. I approve of all of this.

  • proposes - Bonnibel. This little planner and it catches Marceline off-guard because she just never expected that Bonnie would be interested in being with her in the future. It’s even more special because Bonnie had written a song and shakily performed it on Marcy’s axe bass.
  • shops for groceries - Bonnibel, she likes to organise it all and Marceline just doesn’t care enough to be invested in doing it.
  • kills the spiders - Marceline for sure, she easily does it and is so fricking vicious in her attacks.
  • comes home drunk at 3am - Marceline. Though there were a few times where Bonnie let loose and Marceline may have encouraged that, not that either of them mind because Bonnibel needs to relax.
  • remembers to feed the fish - Bonnibel, she loves that fish and she doesn’t care if Marcy mocks her for having such an attachment to a tiny creature, she will care for her fish
  • initiates duets - Marceline, she jams out all the time and is constantly throwing around new song ideas so she asks Bonnie to help her out with harmonising and figuring out new lyrics. There’s also the added bonus of Marceline teaching her girlfriend how to play bass, which totally requires her to sit behind her and move her hands to help her strum, right? 
  • falls asleep first - PB, Bonnibel is out like a light and after tucking her in Marcy just floats around and jams out with her guitar for most of the night before it’s like 4am and then she floats in and curls up next to her girlfriend who sleepily rolls over and nestles in with her head resting on Marceline’s shoulder.
  • plans spontaneous trips - I feel like Marceline likes to take Bonnie on random adventures and they hang out a lot in the random places that Marceline has visited but Bonnie also likes to plan surprise trips for her girlfriend which although they aren’t spontaneous they are lovely and sweet and Marceline loves that her girlfriend puts so much effort into making their trips really fun.
  • wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes - Hmmm? Maybe Marceline but I feel like she’s more the type to just avoid food in general but PB makes her a stack of pancakes when she’s up and she just covers them in delicious strawberry syrup and gives Marcy syrupy kisses because she loves her and is domestic and fluffy and gross.
  • sends the other unsolicited nudes - Marceline 100% because “you know red is my favourite colour on you Bon”. She gets way too much pleasure in making PB to squirm.
  • brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt - Marceline, she just straight up lies about it and Bonnibel just tuts and holds her tongue as more gullible people assume her girlfriend is a karate legend until she gets so annoyed that she asks for a demonstration and the look on Marceline’s face is glorious.
  • comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shops - I feel as though Bonnibel has a sweet tooth, like Marceline keeps asking if she wants to go in but Bonnie keeps saying that she doesn’t want to and that they can leave (even though she definitely does want to) and then Marceline drags them in and they get a giant fricking pretzel and they share it and Bonnie kisses her on the cheek and Marcy knows her girlfriend so well.
  • blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit - Marceline. What a sarcastic, snarky little shit and you know PB’s disapproving head shake only spurs her on more.
  • killed the guy (also, which hid the body) - Marceline and oh yeah Marceline. PB would never get involved unless it was for science but even then she’d be a bit more reluctant.
  • wears the least clothing around the house - Marceline, she just loves to torture her girlfriend who is trying to do important work, something that is incredibly difficult to do when Marcy is strutting around the house in a black bra and lacy underwear. The kingdom can wait…
  • has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason - Bonnibel. Do not fight me on this. She just loves wearing her girlfriend’s shirt and she will keep every dang photo they ever take together, she will keep that old band ticket from their first concert and she will keep the guitar pick that Marceline threw to her from her band’s first gig. 

So I started reading Hammer of Thor and I just happened to notice a few similarities between Alex Fierro and I. I have green and black (its dark brown but shhhhh) hair, I am trans, I am a snarky little shit, I can and will cut you, and also I couldn’t help but see that Alex Fierro’s last name seems latino or hispanic (as I am), since fierro means iron in spanish.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m Alex Fierro


anonymous asked:

I really like the way you show Akko personality wise, a lot of people characterise her as about as smart as a toothpick and very dense, but you kinda show her as?? A snarky little shit, not extremely smart like her gf, but she knows enough, and I love it thanks <3

i really really like this ask? Thank you for sending this to me, anon <3 

me as an emo parent part 4

*last time on maaep frerard found out where his name originated and now its joshlers turn*

Me: “joshler my son this story’s a good one”

Joshler: “and how could that be” *joshler rolls his eyes*

Me:”joshler you snarky little shit shut the fuck up your non binary parents trying to tell a story”

*joshler instantly shuts up as his brothers ‘ohh’ at him.*

Me: “ok josh and Tyler were two very smol beans who everybody thinks josh tops so-”

aymeric-the-blue  asked:

👣Do they believe in Bigfoot? What about other legendary creatures?

She squints thoughtfully.

“Isn’t Bigfoot the name of that champion racing chocobo?…Am I thinking of something else?

In any case, if I had a gil for every legendary creature I’ve seen with my own eyes, I could buy the Platinum Mirage. I have always had a wild imagination, but whether or not one believes in legendary creatures is of no consequence when you’re about to be eaten or maimed by them.

…it’s not all terrifying monsters, however. I was convinced griffins didn’t actually exist anymore until I encountered the wild ones in Gyr Abania, and they are some of the loveliest creatures I have ever seen.”


Originally posted by honggiriboy

“May I request a Giriboy scenario when the main character is a childhood friend and they finally meet after so many years. They meet when Swings recommended the MC to feature on one of his songs. Sorry if it’s too specific 😅. I love your work 😍” 

“I know what I’m looking for,” Siyoung groaned as he shifted in his chair, “I just don’t know who I’m looking for.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes at Siyoung and locked his phone. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you’re looking for,” Jihoon pointed out, “so, exactly what are you looking for?”

“I want a nice voice,” Siyoung sighed as he slouched in his chair, “someone new. I want a different voice to feature.”

Keep reading

theexperimentingdetective  asked:

Oh my gosh, your tags on the fake Adam movie poster - stop with the dark comedy! You keep giving me ideas and I'm never going to be able to finish anything if you keep it up! Also it could totally be a b-rated or satirical horror flick

Can you imagine him finding Dean and Sam, so they just decide to take their Zombie Brother hunting with them… And they keep leaving him at gas stations, libraries, a Perkins Restaruant (fun fact: When I was 5, my family forgot me at a Perkins), etc.

And while he’s alone, Adam faces even bigger monsters than Sam and Dean do.

“Well, that was a bust! Thought it was a werewolf. Turned out to be just a regular wolf.”
“Sorry, we forgot you at the Gas n’ Sip… We’re kind of used to just hunting with each other… Um, Why are you all covered in blood?”
“I fought a nest of Vampires. No need to thank me or anything… *jackasses*”

It would be like “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead” only it’s “Adam Milligan is Still Alive”

Squealing Santa 2k14: Asking For It

AO3 link (x)

my fic for poesparakeet’s squealing santa :)

A/N: I find it very fitting that I got the wonderful person who actually helped inspire me to make this blog as my squealing santa recipient. I hope that you have a wonderfully fantastic holiday season and wish you the best. you’re wonderful, an inspiration, a fabulous and awesome human being. and I hope that you enjoy your gift fanficsandfluff!

of all of the prompts you gave, the one that popped out at me screaming “write me write me!!!” was ‘some kind of demon!Dean fic where he is the victim and then gets revenge on his tickler (preferably Sam or Cas)’ because I miss demon!dean and I think we could all use some more of him in out lives, also I have to draw the headcanon from strings that demon!dean is a snarky little shit who pretty much taunts you even if you’re tickling the crap out of him and who feels zero shame about liking tickling. also, kind of a UA where basically the cure didn’t work and Dean is still a demon but more humanish and not so bad. so yes. long introduction, sorry. on with the actual fic.

Words: 1470

Sam was in the kitchen, enjoying a peaceful moment alone as he prepared himself a coffee to keep him company while he worked on research through the late evening. He sighed, running a finger through his hair as he contemplated what things would be like when his brother was finally cured. The mark of Cain had proven formidable, preserving Dean in his demonic state despite the cure being administered. The human blood, to some consolation, had however shown a positive effect; Dean was more like himself. A sort of downgraded level of bad but with a still-twisted demonic soul.

He mixed in one packet of sugar to tone down the bitterness, swirling his spoon a few times around the mug. Tonight would be another long night, he was determined to find some way to return Dean to his former self. Somehow.

Not even two steps out of the kitchen and Sam was drawn from his thoughts by a loud shriek, followed by a few thuds before cackling, hapless laughter broke out.

Oh great.

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Between Duty and Desire

Angel: Michael
Reader: Female
Words: 14280
Author: Mira and Scruff
Warning(s): It’s AU…I guess that’s a warning?  Also, there’s some Destiel as well as some Sass (or is it Jam?  Whatever the Sam/Jess pairing is)
Note(s): Co-writing has been an absolute blast.  

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anonymous asked:

"Give me a character and I will answer:" Alphinaud Leveilleur. Hehe.


  • Why I like them

Okay FIRST OFF he was a snarky little shit in ARR and then shit goes down and he basically goes through I MADE A BIG MISTAKE AND I BROUGHT YOU DOWN WITH ME thing and during Heavensward he becomes so concerned about you because he no longer sees you as a tool and all that STUFF IMMMMMM

  • Why I don’t


  • Favorite episode (scene if movie)

I’m gonna go scene. My favourite scene of him is him getting teased by Estinien and Ysayle (mostly Estinien). YOUR TEASING HAS GONE TOO FAR GRUMP DRAGOON!

  • Favorite season/movie


  • Favorite line

Oooooh a tough one. He has some good lines, a bunch of good lines but my favourite is him talking about his Obsidian Carbuncle while taking Krile to see Matoya and it ends off with “Don’t tell her I said that”

  • Favorite outfit


  • OTP

i-i dunno can I put MY OWN ship here? can I do that? I’m doing it.

  • Brotp

With Estinien or Ysayle because he spent a long time with them. He even comes to see Estinien as a brother which I think is GREAT

  • Head Canon

I have several headcanons for him and it’d take this whole ask to write them all down so I will just pick one. That he is a jealous little butt when the Warrior of Light is off somewhere without him.

  • Unpopular opinion

I don’t really have one???

  • A wish


  • An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen


  • 5 words to best describe them

Smart, Snarky, Confident, I’m gonna say Adorable and SO MANY CARBUNCLES

  • My nickname for them

I have too many for him. I just call him Alphy~

starshaping  asked:

Draco Malfoy (because you're a snarky little shit and bc of the reasons we already talked about on skype), Rhy Maresh and Alucard Emery (because you're also this really snarky, FLIRTY, SHAMELESS little shit), and Molly Weasley (because despite our flirting, you're so caring and motherly and just outrageously kind to me).

oh babe, that Molly Weasley just broke me *cries* I don’t know why, but Molly is so caring and loving and comforting and that you think that way about me towards you is like YES, BECAUSE I SUCK AT VOCALISING MY CARE FOR PEOPLE SO I’M SO HAPPY THAT COMES ACROSS IN OTHER WAYS (BUT ALSO, MOLLY CRACKS THE WHIP REAL HARD WHEN PUSHED AND I AM NOT ABOVE KICKING YOUR ASS BABE, TRY ME)

Also, the Draco Malfoy, for the other reasons you said on skype, definitely. The way we both see him at least. Probably explains a lot of how I wrote him in PIH actually, that fic is really close to my own issues. Too close *smh*

No idea who those other characters are, but yeah, snarky, flirty and shameless little shit definitely fits hahaha 

omg we really do flirt so much hahaha and I really don’t have any shame. I could try to have a filter…but no. too boring =p


Ask meme: Describe my personality using 3 fictional characters.

Several people have been complaining that the kids cursed in my Christmas comic. I never intended for the string of characters to be a curse word. I just couldn’t think of anything else to put down to show their surprise lol

Instead of replying with that, I decided to be a snarky little s*** instead.

Wait, you think I just called myself a little shit? No, I’m fucking star :D

Tony looked up at the nearest camera. “JARVIS, what did you tell Thor?”
“Nothing that would be any more detrimental to your reputation than you have already been, sir,” JARVIS replied.

JARVIS is a snarky little shit (chp. 2)

The Most Amazing Things (Some Terrible Lie) by Copperbadge (AO3)
Avengers (Marvel Movies) – Mature – Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
#Alternate Universe #Secret Identity #Identity Issues #Identity Porn #Publicity #Unmasking #Sex #Blowjob

Tony’s decision not to reveal his identity as Iron Man to the world was shrewd and calculated. Too bad it’s about to backfire on him like a Jericho missile.

Getting to know the members of vixx!
  • N: Usually has his mouth open, or is whining, or crying, or clinging on to another member. also sass and fab
  • Leo: Ready to murder his members at any given moment and clap his way out of getting arrested
  • Ken: What the fuck. What hte fuck is wrong with him. What is he doing now. Disturbingly accurate mosquito noises. That one kid in the back of class who your teacher wants to set on fire.
  • Ravi: Swag master 3000 a level of swag unattainable by man too swag for us to gaze directly upon it hurts. Word on the street is he has a YOLO tattoo so watch out ladies
  • Hongbin: Simultaneously cute and terrifying. You want to pet him even though you know he's planning your demise. Snarky little shit.
  • hyuk: weeboo trash