you snarky little shit

title: uncle, uncle, uncle
rating: K
pairings/characters: sarada, shisui
summary: sarada and shisui have an unparalled uncle/neice relationship
author’s note: none of you can convince me that this isn’t exactly how sarada and shisui would have been (that is of course, when they’re not teaming up to piss off sasuke)

Sarada takes a deep breath, and for the umpteenth time today, prepares herself to successfully complete the jutsu at hand. The water below her is steaming (so is she) as she weaves the appropriate hand signs and focuses her chakra through the movements. Her eyes snap open, sharingan whirling to a point where she’s almost seeing red.

“Water Style: Water Dragon Jutsu!”

The same thing that happened the last twenty-three times happens again—despite her immaculate chakra control and intense focus, she yields what looks like two wimpy water snakes instead of two fearful water dragons, that mockingly dance around her head for a maximum of twelve seconds before dismembering out of her control into a shower of rain drops, soaking her yet again.

“Dammit,” she hisses, shaking her head, thinking she must look like a wet dog at this point. “Maybe I’m using up too much chakra using my sharingan,” she considers aloud, and gets ready to focus herself again, before another thought dawns on her. “But if I can’t do this with my sharingan what’s the point?”

She drops her arms, cursing her Papa’s genes. She thought about how much easier combining elemental chakra natures and jutsu would be if she were of a water or earth nature by birth. Water and earth are neutral and adaptable; if harnessed correctly, possess healing qualities, as they’re not destructive by nature. But of course, in the tradition of the Uchiha, Sarada had, for better for worse, chakra of a fire nature; which meant that water jutsu was extremely difficult—creating a jutsu that required both fire and water natures seemed near impossible. But, again, in the tradition of the Uchiha, she’d rather slit her own throat than put her pride at risk by giving up before she’d tried every single trick in the book. Twice. 

“You are aware that water jutsu kind of goes against all the chakra you have inside of you, right?” A sarcastic voice questions, startling her. She whirls around, sharingan ablaze, ready to trap whoever was spying on her in a genjutsu they’d never forget.

Instead of finding an enemy, she comes face to face with an all-too-familiar face.

“Mama says it’s not nice to spy on people, Uncle Shisui,” she sighs.

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Garrett and Marian - Legacy Banters
  • Marian: Well... not quite how I imagined this family reunion going. I was envisioning more hugs and maybe some wine over dinner. Not attempted assassinations
  • Carver: Really? You think this is so abnormal for our family?
  • Marian: Well you got me there
  • ---
  • Bethany: What could our father have to do with this mess? The Carta have had more than enough time to try and find us
  • Garrett: I imagine that having two Champions of Kirkwall with the last name Hawke may have tipped them off
  • Bethany: But it's been three years since you and sis defeated the Arishok. Why wait that long?
  • Marian: Well I don't know about you, but if I was going to go after the people who killed an Arishok then I'd probably want to make a little time for planning, wouldn't you?
  • Carver: Do these morons strike you as the sensible type?
  • Marian: Two points in one day Carver? Don't tell me the Templars are actually drilling some wit into that skull of yours
  • Carver: *laughs* At least /my/ wit makes a point, dear sister
  • Bethany: Ooh, that had to hurt
  • Garrett: Do you need some healing for that one, Marian?
  • Marian: Oh shove off, all of you
  • ---
  • Garrett: And we're back in the Deep Roads
  • Marian: Oh it's not that bad. I mean... Look at all the... Ugh, no, you're right this is terrible. Let's all promise never to go to the Deep Roads after this. Three times is enough
  • Garrett: Three times? When was the second?
  • Marian: Um... well...
  • Carver and Bethany: *sing song voices* Somebody's in trouble
  • ---
  • Bethany: Varric wrote to me the other day
  • Garrett: Telling another of his stories, I bet. Was it the one about the high dragon, because that didn't really-
  • Bethany: No. He was giving me an update. On you, actually. I was... worried, so I wrote to him and asked
  • Garrett: I'm fine Beth. Really
  • Bethany: No you're not. Not yet. But I know you, and if anyone can get past it, you can
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • ---
  • Carver: You might want to be watch yourself, Garrett
  • Garrett: How come?
  • Carver: Ever since you sided with Orsino the other day, there's been... Rumours. Meredith isn't happy with you, and it's only because she allows it that you're still free
  • Garrett: So is she going to have me dragged to the Circle, or is she getting the Brand ready now?
  • Fenris: Don't say that
  • Carver: I would never let it get that far. But I thought I'd warn you, just in case you were thinking about making her mad
  • Garrett: I appreciate you telling me Carver. Don't worry. I'll be careful
  • ---
  • *after completing Malcolm's Will*
  • Marian: So... the stonework down here is... lovely, isn't it?
  • Carver: Not now, Mary
  • Marian: I was only... Alright
  • ---
  • Marian: Are you okay, Gary?
  • Garrett: I'm fine... Just...
  • Marian: He loved you. And Bethany. He'd be so proud of you
  • Garrett: You sound so sure of that
  • Marian: Of course I am. Because it's true. And don't let that nasty shit in your head tell you otherwise - it's a liar, remember
  • Garrett: *chuckles* Alright
  • Bethany: Be careful sister, people might think you've got a heart after all
  • Marian: *dramatically* Oh no! *clutches chest* I think... I think I'm getting feelings! Quick, someone beat them out of me!
  • Carver: *laughs* You be careful what you wish for sister
  • Isabela: I'd rather ride them out of you
  • Garrett: Ah, and there's the dirty line. I was starting to worry something was wrong Bela
  • Isabela: And you're as sweet as ever, Garrett
  • ---
  • Varric: Twenty silvers, that's my final offer. Take it or leave it Elf
  • Marian: What are you betting on, and why am I getting left out of it?
  • Varric: You want in? We're betting on what it'll take to get Junior and Waffles to hug
  • Garrett: *groans* You're not calling me 'Waffles' again, are you?
  • Varric: I have to. Every time I say 'Hawke' all four of you turn around. I'm being considerate
  • Carver: I bet there's /someone/ here who'd like to see him covered in syrup
  • Garrett: Carver!
  • Fenris: *embarrassed noises*
  • Isabela: Ooh, new friend-fiction idea!
  • Garrett: Don't you even dare!
  • Isabela: Too late, already dared. Can we make camp? I need to make notes
  • ---
  • Varric: Hey, Rivaini, I'm expecting royalties if that friend-fiction of yours gets published
  • Carver: When you didn't even come up with it?
  • Varric: You wouldn't have brought up syrup if I didn't call him Waffles
  • Garrett: Maker save me...
  • Bethany: And me...
  • Marian: Usually I like dirty things... But this is too far, even for me
  • Isabela: Are you saying you wouldn't like it if /I/ were covered in syrup?
  • Marian: Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were my very hairy twin brother, Bela
  • Isabela: Well when you put it that way...
  • ---
  • Isabela: I always thought we were the loud ones, you know
  • Fenris: What?
  • Marian: I know right. Maybe they're just less shy about it now
  • Garrett: Do I want to know?
  • Isabela: You already know. Or did you deafen yourself?
  • Marian: To think, they don't need us shouting encouragement through the wall anymore. I'm so proud
  • Isabela: Our boys are growing up so fast. Maybe next they'll master foreplay
  • Carver: Oh Maker, I do not want to hear this
  • Bethany: Neither do I
  • Garrett: *loudly* And I would be very happy if we could stop talking about this. Right now
  • Isabela: Yeah, see. That kind of loud
  • Fenris: *deadpan* If you're so fascinated by Garrett being loud, then you must not be doing a very good job at making Marian scream, Isabela
  • Marian: Oooooooo
  • Isabela: Oh, you snarky little shit
  • Bethany: *loudly* If we could stop discussing my older brother's and sister's sex lives, I would appreciate it
  • Carver: *loudly* Oh look, more darkspawn. Let's kill them so we can stop talking about this
  • ---
  • Marian: So our choices are the nice, Tainted madman, or the mage who wants to let a darkspawn magister out of his hole in the ground? Why can we never make nice decisions, like what kind of wine to have with dinner?
  • Fenris: I agree. It is the only decision worth making
  • Marian: When you're not throwing it at the walls, I assume?
  • Fenris: That was six years ago
  • Marian: And you never offered me a glass
  • Fenris: You are recycling jokes now? Has the great Marian Hawke's wit finally lost it's edge?
  • Marian: Ooh, you are just asking for it now
  • ---
  • Varric: You okay Garrett? You've been a bit quiet since-
  • Garrett: I'm fine Varric. There's more important things to be worried about right now
  • Varric: It's not easy to realise that someone you looked up to wasn't quite what you imagined. You ever need to talk, you know where my suite is
  • ---
  • Isabela: So... is no one going to bring up the fact that Varric called Garrett by his name earlier?
  • Varric: What are you talking about Rivaini? Waffles and I were just having a friendly chat
  • Isabela: Don't bullshit me. You called him Garrett. I heard you
  • Varric: That doesn't sound like me, Rivaini
  • Marian: He called you by your name when Velasco carted you off to Castillon
  • Isabela: What?! No fair, I didn't get to hear!
  • ---
  • Bethany: Are you sure about this, brother?
  • Garrett: It has to be done
  • Bethany: I could do it. I am a Hawke after all, and a mage. You don't need to-
  • Garrett: No, Bethany
  • Bethany: But-!
  • Garrett: Bethy, if I let you use blood magic, I'd never be able to live with myself
  • Bethany: And if you do it, will you be able to live with it?
  • Garrett: I'd rather it be me than you
  • ---
  • Varric: If he pulls a dragon out of his ass, I'm leaving!
  • Marian: Oh great, and now he's almost certain to pull a dragon out of his arse! Way to go Varric
  • ---
  • Bethany: Here, you didn't get a chance to close that wound earlier
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • Fenris: I just hope it was worth it
  • Marian: Well we /did/ just kill a darkspawn magister. I can't wait to hear how Varric tells this one
  • Varric: Well I doubt I'll have to exaggerate a damn thing, considering how weird this shit is
  • Fenris: That isn't what I meant...
  • Garrett: I'd have avoided it if I could, but someone had to. And if it meant sparing my little sister from that...
  • Fenris: I understand. But... Please, just be more careful from now on
  • Garrett: I will, I promise
  • Isabela: You two are so sappy... It's actually rather cute

anonymous asked:

so i don't know if you're still doing the Dex poetry series, but i would be interested in seeing if Dex ever shows Nursey the poems and how that goes down, if that's okay! thank you :))

I am still doing the poetry series (I promise!), but I haven’t had any inspiration recently. I will continue it if and when the inspiration strikes. Really, I will.

If anyone doesn’t know, this is my poetry series tag and it’s a series of poems written from Dex’s POV.

Thank you for the prompt! The poems are actually not from the POV of my usual HCed Dex, so it was cool to write from another version of Dex’s POV. :)

(Also, I was in a weird mood, so this got super introspective and complicated but I feel like it fits for Dex’s relationship with writing so I’mma just go with it.)


           It’s not that Dex isn’t good at hiding things. He is. He grew up in a house with very nosy parents and five siblings who assumed anything of Dex’s was theirs as well. He learned how to keep things private, found nooks and secret spots as easily as he found studs in a wall and learned how to be just conspicuous enough to be overlooked. Of course, the newfound literary part of him can’t help but see this as a metaphor, the kid trapped in the closet is good at hiding things, and he realizes it with the same kind of bitterness he attributes to all of his newfound literary perspectives.

           It’s mostly Nursey’s fault anyway, that Dex is so literary now. Dex could just as easily blame Samwell as a whole, what with requiring he take a literary course, but it’s harder to blame an institution than a person and Dex, somewhat out of character, took the easy way out in this time. Yes, the first English course was required, but the second was not. The second was a poetry course usually taken by freshmen who hadn’t technically chosen their major yet but were dead set on English. Dex had been the only science oriented person there and, at first, he had felt out of place. That, too, Dex realized later, was a metaphor.

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bloodycreampuff  asked:

Honestly bless the anon who send mackassie :D, for the thing idk maybe bubbline? (Someone already ask hollstein and I can't think in other pairing ;-;)

Oooh, I can try to do Bubbline! and yes, yes that anon is wonderful! So far I have done: Supercorp, Supercat, Hollstein, GeneralSupercorp (Lucy/Lena/Kara), Jori and Mackassie. I approve of all of this.

  • proposes - Bonnibel. This little planner and it catches Marceline off-guard because she just never expected that Bonnie would be interested in being with her in the future. It’s even more special because Bonnie had written a song and shakily performed it on Marcy’s axe bass.
  • shops for groceries - Bonnibel, she likes to organise it all and Marceline just doesn’t care enough to be invested in doing it.
  • kills the spiders - Marceline for sure, she easily does it and is so fricking vicious in her attacks.
  • comes home drunk at 3am - Marceline. Though there were a few times where Bonnie let loose and Marceline may have encouraged that, not that either of them mind because Bonnibel needs to relax.
  • remembers to feed the fish - Bonnibel, she loves that fish and she doesn’t care if Marcy mocks her for having such an attachment to a tiny creature, she will care for her fish
  • initiates duets - Marceline, she jams out all the time and is constantly throwing around new song ideas so she asks Bonnie to help her out with harmonising and figuring out new lyrics. There’s also the added bonus of Marceline teaching her girlfriend how to play bass, which totally requires her to sit behind her and move her hands to help her strum, right? 
  • falls asleep first - PB, Bonnibel is out like a light and after tucking her in Marcy just floats around and jams out with her guitar for most of the night before it’s like 4am and then she floats in and curls up next to her girlfriend who sleepily rolls over and nestles in with her head resting on Marceline’s shoulder.
  • plans spontaneous trips - I feel like Marceline likes to take Bonnie on random adventures and they hang out a lot in the random places that Marceline has visited but Bonnie also likes to plan surprise trips for her girlfriend which although they aren’t spontaneous they are lovely and sweet and Marceline loves that her girlfriend puts so much effort into making their trips really fun.
  • wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes - Hmmm? Maybe Marceline but I feel like she’s more the type to just avoid food in general but PB makes her a stack of pancakes when she’s up and she just covers them in delicious strawberry syrup and gives Marcy syrupy kisses because she loves her and is domestic and fluffy and gross.
  • sends the other unsolicited nudes - Marceline 100% because “you know red is my favourite colour on you Bon”. She gets way too much pleasure in making PB to squirm.
  • brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt - Marceline, she just straight up lies about it and Bonnibel just tuts and holds her tongue as more gullible people assume her girlfriend is a karate legend until she gets so annoyed that she asks for a demonstration and the look on Marceline’s face is glorious.
  • comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shops - I feel as though Bonnibel has a sweet tooth, like Marceline keeps asking if she wants to go in but Bonnie keeps saying that she doesn’t want to and that they can leave (even though she definitely does want to) and then Marceline drags them in and they get a giant fricking pretzel and they share it and Bonnie kisses her on the cheek and Marcy knows her girlfriend so well.
  • blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit - Marceline. What a sarcastic, snarky little shit and you know PB’s disapproving head shake only spurs her on more.
  • killed the guy (also, which hid the body) - Marceline and oh yeah Marceline. PB would never get involved unless it was for science but even then she’d be a bit more reluctant.
  • wears the least clothing around the house - Marceline, she just loves to torture her girlfriend who is trying to do important work, something that is incredibly difficult to do when Marcy is strutting around the house in a black bra and lacy underwear. The kingdom can wait…
  • has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason - Bonnibel. Do not fight me on this. She just loves wearing her girlfriend’s shirt and she will keep every dang photo they ever take together, she will keep that old band ticket from their first concert and she will keep the guitar pick that Marceline threw to her from her band’s first gig. 

So I started reading Hammer of Thor and I just happened to notice a few similarities between Alex Fierro and I. I have green and black (its dark brown but shhhhh) hair, I am trans, I am a snarky little shit, I can and will cut you, and also I couldn’t help but see that Alex Fierro’s last name seems latino or hispanic (as I am), since fierro means iron in spanish.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m Alex Fierro


anonymous asked:

Boomerang headcANNONS


Originally posted by dceumovies

  • And the award for dirtiest pick-up lines goes to…
    • It literally doesn’t matter how you two meet. You could be in a fucking robbery situation and he would use a fucking pick-up line.
      • “Fucking… who the hell are you?” “Not important. Listen, we both want the money, let’s split it and leave.” “Well, it’s not good to just run right out of here, sweetheart.” “Why the hell not?” “Because, well, I ain’t a weatherman, but you could be expecting a few inches tonight.”
  • He’s actually kind of nervous about having a committed relationship.
    • Of course Digger has done one-night stands and had relationships (look at the guy… fucking hot as fuck), but the thought of being in a relationship with someone, especially if they aren’t a villain, terrifies him.
    • He’s always wondering what would happen if he went to jail.
      • Would you be okay? Would you break up with him? Would you find someone else?
  • Digger also gets #1 Dork Award
    • Actually a huge fucking nerd. He loves to act super cool around the Squad and around others, but he is such a dork.
  • Somehow always has beer on him.
    • Like you two could be in the middle of nowhere and he would somehow pull a beer can out of somewhere.
      • Of course it’s Fosters because “What kind of Aussie would I be without my Fosters?”
    • He’ll take a shower and just cuddle up next to you. It’s very relaxing and it’s one of the few times he’s ever calm.
  • Loves it when you steal his clothes and stuff.
    • The first time he saw you in his sweatshirt that says ‘Captain’ he practically busted a nut.
  • Totallllyyyy has a captain kink.
    • When he’s fucking you, if you call him Captain he will bust literally 90 million nuts.
  • Oral fixation? Oral fixation.
    • Digger is the kind of guy that can literally make you cum 8 times, just by eating you out.
    • Psssstttt he also loves blowjobs ;)
      • Like, really loves them. To a point where sometimes, if you aren’t in the mood, he will just straight up ask for one.
  • He is rough as hell in bed.
    • But if one of you had a bad day, he’s actually really, really sweet.
  • eye contact
  • Okay, back to cute headcanons
  • You always tease him for his weapon choice.
    • Boomerangs? Really?
      • “They’re a refined weapon, (Y/N)!” “No, they’re dorky children’s toys!” “I have killed people with these!” “Well, they’re very dangerous children’s toys then!”
  • Digger tends to rip his clothes up pretty often.
    • Going on dangerous missions means they get beat up fast.
    • He actually managed to learn how to sew. (Just hand stitching)
      • Digger gets embarassed about it (which is hard to do because normally, not can embarass him), but you find it adorable.
  • If you two had kids, he would be a really great dad.
    • Super nervous about hurting them. He holds them like if he so much as breathes the wrong way, they could get hurt.
  • He is the reason your child’s first word was fuck.
  • The two of you get into arguments often because he’s a snarky little shit, but the argument always ends with you two laughing becuase he said something stupid.
  • Overall, Digger would be a great boyfriend. Sure he has issues because he literally robs for a living, but, whatever.
  • No honor among thieves, eh?

Originally posted by honggiriboy

“May I request a Giriboy scenario when the main character is a childhood friend and they finally meet after so many years. They meet when Swings recommended the MC to feature on one of his songs. Sorry if it’s too specific 😅. I love your work 😍” 

“I know what I’m looking for,” Siyoung groaned as he shifted in his chair, “I just don’t know who I’m looking for.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes at Siyoung and locked his phone. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you’re looking for,” Jihoon pointed out, “so, exactly what are you looking for?”

“I want a nice voice,” Siyoung sighed as he slouched in his chair, “someone new. I want a different voice to feature.”

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theexperimentingdetective  asked:

Oh my gosh, your tags on the fake Adam movie poster - stop with the dark comedy! You keep giving me ideas and I'm never going to be able to finish anything if you keep it up! Also it could totally be a b-rated or satirical horror flick

Can you imagine him finding Dean and Sam, so they just decide to take their Zombie Brother hunting with them… And they keep leaving him at gas stations, libraries, a Perkins Restaruant (fun fact: When I was 5, my family forgot me at a Perkins), etc.

And while he’s alone, Adam faces even bigger monsters than Sam and Dean do.

“Well, that was a bust! Thought it was a werewolf. Turned out to be just a regular wolf.”
“Sorry, we forgot you at the Gas n’ Sip… We’re kind of used to just hunting with each other… Um, Why are you all covered in blood?”
“I fought a nest of Vampires. No need to thank me or anything… *jackasses*”

It would be like “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead” only it’s “Adam Milligan is Still Alive”

Between Duty and Desire

Angel: Michael
Reader: Female
Words: 14280
Author: Mira and Scruff
Warning(s): It’s AU…I guess that’s a warning?  Also, there’s some Destiel as well as some Sass (or is it Jam?  Whatever the Sam/Jess pairing is)
Note(s): Co-writing has been an absolute blast.  

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Peter Maximoff x Reader - Backpack Thief

Your mutation: Sonic Scream
Word count: 554
Rating: T
Warnings: Language

“Maximoff, give me back my bag!” you yelled at the silver flash that had just stolen your backpack.

“Make me, (Y/L/N)!” He shouted from across the field. This was always how your day started. The silver speedster would do something to get on your nerves and you would get angry at him. It was like he took enjoyment in pissing you off. You felt your rage bubbling up inside you, but tried to stay calm. Everyone knew what would happen if you got too angry, and it wasn’t pleasant. But to Peter Maximoff, that didn’t matter. He had to annoy you.

“I swear to god, some day I am going to punch the living shit out of you.” You shouted, running over to where he stood.

“Shit, (Y/N). You have to be nice if you want your backpack back.” Peter smirked, being the snarky little shit he always was.

“Maximoff. Give me back my backpack. I have combat training today and I am not going to be late because of you.” Angrily, you stuck your hand out, hoping the silver haired boy would just hand you your backpack.

“Training today? Well, let me help you get there on time.” His arm wrapped around your waist as you began to speed off. You almost screamed, which would have been bad, but luckily you contained yourself until the two of you arrived in the basement.

“Fuck you, Maximoff! That scared the living shit out of me!” You said, lightly shoving the boy. He snickered, humored by how angry you were.

“(Y/N)! You’re here! Peter? You aren’t on the schedule for combat training today.” Hank said, walking up to the two of you.

“Sorry for interrupting, Hank. Just trying to help (Y/N) get to training on time.” Peter flashed you a dimpled grin. You rolled your eyes and stuck out our hand once again.

“Backpack. Now, Maximoff.” You demanded. With a wink, Peter went to speed off again. That was it. He had pissed you off a lot. You took a deep breath and tried to hold down your rage, but you couldn’t not anymore.

“(Y/N). Deep breaths.” Hank tried to calm you down, but it wasn’t working. Peter had almost reached the door, when you let out an ear-piercing shriek. The ground began to shake and the lights flickered. Peter stopped dead in his tracks, scared shitless by what had just happened. He had never actually gotten you that angry. He felt a light tap on his shoulder and turned around to face you.

“May I have my backpack now, Maximoff?” You smiled. He nodded, his surprised expression still frozen on his face. You went to walk back to Hank, but Peter stopped you.

“That was incredibly hot, seeing you get that pissed off by me. Angry girls are a bit of a turn on. With that being said, want to go on a date sometime (Y/L/N)?” Peter smirked. Within less than two seconds, the boy was already back to being himself. You sighed with a smile on your face.

“Fine, Maximoff. You know annoying boys tend to be a turn on for me. Maybe this can work out.” You smirked, giving him a pat on the back as you strolled away.

He was such a little shit.

I just had to write a Peter Maximoff one today! He’s such a little shit, I love him so much. Hope you enjoyed! Requests are always open!

Several people have been complaining that the kids cursed in my Christmas comic. I never intended for the string of characters to be a curse word. I just couldn’t think of anything else to put down to show their surprise lol

Instead of replying with that, I decided to be a snarky little s*** instead.

Wait, you think I just called myself a little shit? No, I’m fucking star :D

Squealing Santa 2k14: Asking For It

AO3 link (x)

my fic for poesparakeet’s squealing santa :)

A/N: I find it very fitting that I got the wonderful person who actually helped inspire me to make this blog as my squealing santa recipient. I hope that you have a wonderfully fantastic holiday season and wish you the best. you’re wonderful, an inspiration, a fabulous and awesome human being. and I hope that you enjoy your gift fanficsandfluff!

of all of the prompts you gave, the one that popped out at me screaming “write me write me!!!” was ‘some kind of demon!Dean fic where he is the victim and then gets revenge on his tickler (preferably Sam or Cas)’ because I miss demon!dean and I think we could all use some more of him in out lives, also I have to draw the headcanon from strings that demon!dean is a snarky little shit who pretty much taunts you even if you’re tickling the crap out of him and who feels zero shame about liking tickling. also, kind of a UA where basically the cure didn’t work and Dean is still a demon but more humanish and not so bad. so yes. long introduction, sorry. on with the actual fic.

Words: 1470

Sam was in the kitchen, enjoying a peaceful moment alone as he prepared himself a coffee to keep him company while he worked on research through the late evening. He sighed, running a finger through his hair as he contemplated what things would be like when his brother was finally cured. The mark of Cain had proven formidable, preserving Dean in his demonic state despite the cure being administered. The human blood, to some consolation, had however shown a positive effect; Dean was more like himself. A sort of downgraded level of bad but with a still-twisted demonic soul.

He mixed in one packet of sugar to tone down the bitterness, swirling his spoon a few times around the mug. Tonight would be another long night, he was determined to find some way to return Dean to his former self. Somehow.

Not even two steps out of the kitchen and Sam was drawn from his thoughts by a loud shriek, followed by a few thuds before cackling, hapless laughter broke out.

Oh great.

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Getting to know the members of vixx!
  • N: Usually has his mouth open, or is whining, or crying, or clinging on to another member. also sass and fab
  • Leo: Ready to murder his members at any given moment and clap his way out of getting arrested
  • Ken: What the fuck. What hte fuck is wrong with him. What is he doing now. Disturbingly accurate mosquito noises. That one kid in the back of class who your teacher wants to set on fire.
  • Ravi: Swag master 3000 a level of swag unattainable by man too swag for us to gaze directly upon it hurts. Word on the street is he has a YOLO tattoo so watch out ladies
  • Hongbin: Simultaneously cute and terrifying. You want to pet him even though you know he's planning your demise. Snarky little shit.
  • hyuk: weeboo trash
"oops" muttered cupid

summary: cupid didn’t mean to hit the british guy, but a one degree shift can make miles of difference when you’re shooting love arrows from a cloud.

a/n: this is the first chapter. i’m having fun so there will be more. by the way, cupid’s greek name is eros, but no one knows that so i’m just calling him cupid. 

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anonymous asked:

Hi! What are your top 6 Robert moments?

  • 1: Robert standing his ground with Chas. “You don’t have a clue what he means to me. He’s everything.” His voice was so adamant. 
  • 2: That time where Robert didn’t think through his plans (as always) and ended up hanging upside down from a tree and had to get rescued.   
  • 3: Robert confessing to Aaron why he has struggled with his sexuality. He was very vulnerable in that moment but his trust with Aaron made it somewhat easier for him to talk about the painful past. The line “I just want to be myself now, with you-” showed how far he has come. 
  • 4: Going above and beyond to help Andy get safely out of the country. 
  • 5: “I’m done apologizing Aaron. This is who I am. When something matters to me I lie, I cheat, I do whatever it takes and you matter to me.” This had to be said. Robert is trying to change. He is doing his best to be a better man for Aaron, but he is only human he will still make mistakes from time to time.  
  • 6: Anytime Robert has been a snarky little shit. “Did you forget the straw? To suck the fun out of my day.”  “Go back to polishing your head.” It’s what makes him so loveable.

Originally posted by justleavemebreathless

The Plan - Spy!Luke - PART SIX

wow part six - extra long bc i havent updated in ages sorry



Summary: You are a spy on a bank heist mission, but quickly figure something is wrong as another spy, Luke, intercepts your mission. Your closest colleagues have been captured and it is now your duty to rescue them. It’s not as simple as it sounds.

You clamped your hand over your mouth to muffle your audible pants as you heard feet stomping past the low entrance to the air vent. Their legs cast fleeting shadows through the metal tunnel you were hiding in. Your knees were tucked tightly under your chin. Calum was beside you in a similar position, his head leaning on your shoulder. The boy was now conscious and could hold himself up, but he was very weak. Ashton, Michael and Luke were further down the vent, but staying completely still, afraid that any noise would attract dangerous I.S.I. agents.

You let out a small shuddering breath as the racket passed, looking over to your wide-eyed comrades.

“I think we should stay in here.” Luke proposed quietly.

“In the vents?” Ashton replied skeptically.

“Yeah, there’s almost no way of those huge guys chasing us in here.” Luke explained.

“How do we navigate?” You asked.

Luke dragged his finger across the metal walls, following a dark purple line that seemed to be marked on in pen, “Follow the line. I’ve done this before.” He shrugged allusively as you traced the line with your own hand, only just noticing it.

“Fine.” You responded, looking to Michael and Ashton for approval.

Once they had both agreed, you turned your attention to Calum. The colour had drained from his face and occasionally a strong shiver would rack his body, but he was constantly slightly shaking. His eyes rarely blinked as he blankly stared at the wall of the air vent. 

“Cal, are you okay to crawl?” You tentatively lay a hand on his quivering shoulder.

He nodded without looking away from the silver wall or blinking. You grimaced at the rough sight of your friend. I.S.I. had broken Calum, his spirit, his body, and you were furious. But you had to remain calm for the sake of the worn group.

“Luke, lead the way,” You waved him on and he obeyed, following the marks, “Come on Cal.” You gently spoke to the boy, prompting him to move.

After what seemed like an eternity of crawling, you heard Luke’s voice pipe up from the front. You strained your ears to hear him.

“Oh my god…Jack!” You managed to make out from Luke’s croaks.

“You can rest now Cal, I’ll be a second.” You set the slow boy down to one side of you and crawled further towards Luke, nudging Ashton’s leg as he was the closest boy to you, “What’s happening? Who’s Jack?”

Ashton looked at his hands, pained, and then back up at you.

“We found Luke’s brother. It doesn’t look good.” He whispered.

You sat back on your shins, biting your bottom lip before moving past Ashton and Michael to comfort the almost sobbing boy.

“Luke?” You rested a hand on his hunched over back.

He was situated in front of a small slatted window which enabled him to see into the room below the vent. You peered through and immediately sussed why he was so upset. You saw a broad blonde boy cuffed to a hospital-like bed in sturdy metal handcuffs, his upper body was visible through the thin white sheet covering him and you could see his ribs poking at his skin. His eyes were closed and from where you were, it didn’t look as if he was breathing. Luke’s hand was covering his mouth and his eyes were screwed shut at the sight.

“Jack… they killed him… they said they wouldn’t… they promised.” He sobbed, avoiding eye contact with you.

You could only place a sympathetic hand on Luke’s shoulder as you watched him break down. You shushed him and as you heard low grumbles from the room below you.

“What’d the guy do to deserve this?” You assumed a guard was talking about Jack.

“Didn’t you hear? It was his brother, snarky little shit - got in trouble with the Boss. This is just blackmail, you know the drill.” Another guard explained.

You heard them clunk to the other side of the room and then a gasp, a female gasp. The whole room wasn’t visible to you from the vent but you knew the voice, anywhere. You glanced back to Michael whose eyes were wide and caught yours in shock.

“Lia.” You breathed.

You heard her restrained grunts for a few minutes before the guards stopped whatever they had been doing to her. Cogs in your head started whirring as Luke lifted his head to look you in the eye.

“New plan?” Ashton guessed, he’d seen that look on your face before.

“We need to get into that room.” You looked around your worn group, “Luke, any way in or do we have to drop from here?”

“From here is safest.”

“Fine, Michael are you okay to come with us or do you want to stay with Calum?”

“I’ll stay, I’ll keep him safe and be here to pull you guys back up.” You nodded in agreement.

“Okay.” You paused for a minute to collect your racing thoughts, “Luke where is the nearest exit?”

“We’re close to the surface, if we find a window we can get out, but we’ll need a bullet to shatter it.”

“I’ll keep an eye on my shots.” Ashton interjected.

“We drop down, grab Lia and Jack, pull them back up here?” You questioned the ending, it was an extremely half-baked plan.

“We’ll wing it.” You heard a croak from behind Michael.

Calum was staring at the floor but then looked up at your concerned face. He was still pale but colour was starting to creep back into his cheeks.

We? Cal, you’re not coming with,” You shook your head, “You could barely walk a second ago!”

“Fine,” He gave in easily, unlike his usual self, “You’ll wing it then, you know you can do it.” His blank brown eyes stared into yours as your mind reworked the situation.

“What if we can’t rescue them?” You nervously looked to Luke, whose expression was hard as he spoke, “Jack doesn’t look good, and he’s much heavier than Calum…” Luke quickly glanced Calum’s way.

“We’ll make that decision if it comes to it.” You hastily said, turning to the slated window.

You reached into one of your many pockets in your jacket and grabbed a small screwdriver, scooting closer to the metal and fiddling with the bolts. You sat back and as silently as possible lifted the grate to one side, poking your head through the square gap and evaluating how to land the jump.

“You ready?” You looked over your shoulder at the boys behind you.

You quickly stuck your head through the window once more to see the whole room. Two guards had their backs turned from you, looking over  a bed which you assumed had Lia on it. Jack lay at the opposite wall, subsequent to the room being set out similar to a hospital ward. The only exception being that there were no windows.

Luke hovered at your shoulder, a hand lightly on your back to catch you if you were to fall. You drew back upright and swiveled to your group.

“I’ll jump first, I can land silently, take out the guards, as soon as you hear them I want you to jump,” You gestured to Ashton and Luke, “Luke, go to your brother. Ashton check the guards are still out, I’ll be with Lia. Michael, we might need you, so be alert. And we can’t stay up here, think of a way to get Calum down if he can’t himself,” You paused for breath, “Ready?”

“Ready.” The boys chimed in unison.

You quickly sat at the ledge of the open vent, dangling your feet. You took a deep breath and launched yourself downwards, you landed lightly, feet spread apart and hunched over with one hand steadying yourself on the ground. You popped your head up and looked over to Jack, surprised to see his eyes open and fixed on you, following your every move. You straightened up and pressed a finger to your lips.

You stealthily moved across the room, wasting no time in taking down the guards. You jumped up and wrapped your thighs around the guards neck, squeezing tightly, then quickly shifting your body weight and arching your back. Throwing your hands above your head you broke your own fall, but tipped the guard onto his head and back, successfully knocking him out. All this happened fast, and obviously the other guard noticed, you heard the crackle of a taser. You flipped yourself off the ground and came face to face with a red bald man, unskillfully holding the taser gun. Simply gripping his wrist and flicking it, you heard the crunch of bone and then pressed the dangerous tool to his stomach, keeping a hold of the taser as you watched his body convulse and then collapse to the floor.

You whistled shortly as a signal to the boys, and instantly they sprung down from above, albeit not as gracefully as you did. Luke barely stuck a wobbly landing on his feet and Ashton came hurtling after him, knocking the blonde over.

“Seriously?” You shook your head as you fought back laughter.

“Shut up.” Ashton grumbled as he stood up.

“Watch them.” You directed Ashton, pointing to the men on the floor.

You shakily paced to Lia in the corner as Luke ran to Jack. As you came closer you saw she was breathing, exhaling loudly through your mouth you caught sight of half empty syringes on the floor next to her bed. The guards must have dropped them, you bent to pick them up to see if any sort of label had been left. There were measuring indications on the side but nothing else other than a large ‘L’ marked on in black pen. You tossed the syringes to Ashton.

“Any idea what was in there?”

“Give me a minute.” You turned your focus to Lia as he inspected the residue.

“Lia?” You tentatively asked, not wanting to touch her as she hated physical contact, and the fact that she looked so fragile, you were scared she might shatter in your hands.

After she didn’t stir you decided on a different approach.

“Lia!” You shouted as loud as you dared, taking her arm in your hand.

You recoiled in shock as she shuddered violently, her eyelids flying open to reveal scared golden eyes. You pulled your hand away from her.

“Lia, it’s me, I’m not going to hurt you.” You looked at her scared form and wanted to do nothing but cradle her in your arms.

Her gaze was worriedly searching you, her mind no doubt buzzing with confusion.

“How?” She croaked out weakly.

You shook your head at her and tried to stop yourself from welling up at the sight of your friend.

“No time, can you stand?”

She shrugged, knowing this place Lia probably hasn’t been allowed up for as long as they had kept her here. You lifted her torso up from the mattress, allowing her to sling an arm over your shoulder as she hoisted her legs out of the bed. She delicately placed her feet on the ground, they almost gave way instantly but she held onto you determinedly and stood on her wobbly legs.

“You okay?” You asked, watching her face carefully as she gained strength.

She only nodded in response. You wondered if it was because of her health or her philosophy that she wasn’t talking.

‘Speaking without thought isn’t speaking at all.’

You recalled the quote in your head only crashing back down to Earth to realize that Lia was standing by herself now. She smiled at her bare feet and wiggled her toes. You grinned, this was just the person she was, you had no idea spies could be happy until you met Lia. The first day of your transfer to Base 3. You were being shown around and had ended up in a room full of CCTV monitors. You weren’t lost, you were just curious as to what happened in that room. You found her alone, she was making herself dizzy on her spinning chair, giggling madly to herself. Lia had caught sight of you but didn’t stop, only asked why you weren’t joining in. She had guided you from then on; you had guided each other. Sleeping in the same room didn’t leave you much time apart. It was then you became closest. Her flashbacks at night caused her to scream and toss in her sleep. You had woken to the sound of thrashing in the room and muffled cries. Lia had stuffed a towel in her mouth the evening before to attempt to hide this from you. You instantly recognized what was happening, Calum got flashbacks too. Pattering silently over to her bed you ran your hands through her hair and stroked her arm softly and calmed, and eventually woke. She shied away from you instantly, curling up in a ball against the wall of the room. Lia stated firmly that she didn’t like being touched, you understood immediately and apologized but over time she admitted that stroking her hair helped, and soon you had a close bond with her. Closer than you had liked; trust issues stunted your friendship from growing and you insisted on calling her James and you Seven to keep a distance. You admit you felt bad by keeping things seemingly professional between you two but you couldn’t handle being torn away from her as well as Calum.

“Tetracaine.” You caught the end of Ashton’s sentence.

“What?” You fell out of your daydream.

“Tetracaine. It’s what filled the syringes.” You looked at Ashton for more information, “It’s a local anesthetic, but it looks like it’s worn off now, it’s a low dose, lucky Lia didn’t get it all or she wouldn’t be able to move for days.”

You noticed that Lia was now standing at Jack’s bed, alongside Luke. You walked over to join them as Ashton started to help Michael and Calum down from the vent. Jack was pale, and Luke was holding his hand tightly. As you got close you could see his eyelids fluttering and his mouth moving barely as he spoke.

“Go… go.” Jack whispered.

“We’re getting out of here. You’re coming, Jack.” Luke stubbornly replied.

“Leave, you have to leave.” Jack’s words were few, he was weak.

“Why? I can’t leave with out you!” Luke protested.

“Guard shifts. They’ll be here soon. Go. Luke, go.” Jack breathed heavily, his hand going limp in Luke’s.

“Jack? Jack?” Luke desperately tried to wake his brother.

“Luke, is it? Luke come on.” Lia replaced Jack’s hand with hers and led Luke away from the bed side, whispering calming words to him seemingly hypnotically.

She was good at that.

You turned your attention to Michael hanging from the vent. Calum was already in the room, propping himself up against the wall. Ashton was reassuringly holding his hands out, but Michael wasn’t letting go.

“Michael for flips sake just jump.” You refrained from swearing at the hilarious sight of the redhead.

“Shut up.” He snapped, loosening his grip and falling to the floor with a thud.

“Classy.” You quipped.

“Bite me Seven.” He shot back.

“You told me you weren’t into that sort of thing?” You smirked.

“Guys. We need to get out of here.” Ashton interrupted, helping Michael off the tiles.

“Luke, you alright?” You checked, he nodded, “Check the hallway.” Luke snapped into action, “Calum can you walk by yourself?”

“Not yet.” Calum shook his head.


“I can, I’ll help him.”

“Okay. Lia stay with me. Ashton at the rear; Luke will be leading our way.”

Lia moved closer to you, brushing her hand over yours as she whispered.

“What happened?” She started.

“I’m not entirely sure.”

“Who are these people?”

“Red head is on Comms at Base 1. Ashton back there is an assassin, he doesn’t like it being pointed out. Luke is an I.S.I. but he’s with us now. Calum is-” You cleared your throat, “Calum is Eight.”

“Eight? The Eight you talk about—” You cut Lia off.

“Yeah Lia. That’s him.”

“It’s like seeing a unicorn.” She teased.

“Very funny.” You giggled as Luke reentered the room, signalling everything was safe outside.

“When did you get a sense of humour?” You poked Lia.

“When did you start calling me Lia?”