you should probably be reading it right now

anonymous asked:

whoa ok step back, daedalus built a cow suit for a woman who wanted to fuck a bull and that's why the minotaur WAS A THING? I DID NOT KNOW THIS

I honestly think that I’d be doing you a great disservice if I didn’t tell you about the time Daedalus enabled rampant bestiality, so allow me to clear this gap in your knowledge. 

Anyone who doesn’t want to read a poorly retold myth about a man who built a cow suit so realistic that it totally fooled a magic bull into laying down some absolutely quality homo-bovine dick and siring a minotaur should probably press J on their keyboard right now, but honestly if that synopsis doesn’t do it for you then you should probably just quit Greek mythology all together.

So, Minos is this guy who manages to achieve the dual feat of being both King of Crete and an incorrigible asshole. Also, the first achievement is a really tenuous one, because Minos has like a billion brothers and he’s basically Malcolm in the Middle and all his brothers are better looking than him and they have way better abs and it’s really awkward every year at Christmas because they’re all “could you pass the stuffing, Minos? Also you’re totally stuffed because I’m going to be king one day haha suck it, right on” and so Minos starts to get really worried that he’s going to lose the throne to one of his more lustrous-locked brothers and then he’ll be stuck with just the one achievement of being an incorrigible asshole and so he has a little brood and he comes up with a plan. 

One day, he goes up to Poseidon, god of the sea and all things wet (or at least that’s what he tells girls at the Olympus nightclubs) and he’s like “hey, Poseidon, could you do me a solid?” and Poseidon is like “no bro but I can do you a liquid” and they have a little manly giggle and then Minos says “no but really, I need a favour” and Poseidon is like “well, you just gave me a golden opportunity to mock the states of matter, I’m 100% up for doing any favour you want” and Minos says “well, you know how I have loads of brothers” and Poseidon is like “you mean the better looking ones?” and Minos pouts and says “looks aren’t everything, but yes, those ones” and Poseidon is like “go on” and Minos says “well, I need them to stop trying to steal the throne because it’s getting really annoying and also I can’t sleep at night any more and it’s driving my hot wife insane, could you maybe show that you totally support me being King of Crete? That way, they’ll definitely stop being dicks at Christmas” and Poseidon just nods and says “I have a great idea for how I can do this”

and Minos is like “wow, are you going to send down an army of merpeople and slaughter all my brothers in a righteous and watery battle?” and Poseidon is like “no” and Minos says “are you going to conjure up a giant tidal wave and make it destroy all my brothers’ homes but leave my palace totally intact?” and Poseidon is like “no” and Minos says “well, are you going to turn all my brothers into mermen?” and Poseidon is like “look, I’m going to send you a bull”

and Minos just blinks and says “a bull” and Poseidon nods and grins and says “yes, a bull” and Minos says “THAT’S bull” and Poseidon points behind him and says “no, THAT’S a bull” and then he brings out this fucking phenomenal bull. Like, this bull puts all other bulls to shame. It’s glowing white and it’s as big as two ordinary bulls and probably twice as virile. It’s basically overcompensation in taurine form. Anyway, this bull is so bitchin’ that immediately, all of Minos’ brothers are like “wow, nope, you can keep that throne, we don’t want Poseidon to sic his sick bull on us” and basically Minos lives happily ever after with his incredible bull.

Until eventually Poseidon shows up at Minos’ palace and says “hey, Minos, you know that really awesome bull I lent you a while back?” and Minos is like “what bull” and Poseidon is like “the magical snow white bull which gleamed in the Cretan sun like limestone and Apollo’s cheekbones” and Minos is like “oh, THAT bull” and Poseidon is like “yes, that bull, now where is it because I’m having a bull party next week and I really want it back” and Minos says “well, here’s the thing, and it’s kind of a funny story really and I’m sure we’ll laugh about it later, maybe we could even laugh about it now, ha, but anyway all jokes aside I’m keeping the bull” and Poseidon is all “like fuck you’re keeping that bull, it’s my best bull, this is bullshit” and Minos is like “that’s one of the hazards of keeping a bull, maybe you’re not cut out for it” and Poseidon says “you haven’t heard the end of this, Minos, you have made a very powerful and watery enemy” and he leaves and Minos goes and, like, pets the bull or something, I don’t know what you do with bulls.

So, Poseidon goes back to his soggy lair and formulates a plan, and he eventually comes up with something straight out of Quentin Tarantino’s brie-induced nightmares. He goes to find Aphrodite, the goddess of love and afternoon delight, and says “hey Aphrodite, first of all you look delectable and secondly I need you to help me make a woman bang a bull” and Aphrodite is like “I honestly hate this job sometimes, but you’re right, I do look delectable, tell me more” and Poseidon is like “I had this really sweet bull and I lent it to Minos so he would think I liked him and now he won’t give it back and so I need you to make his wife fall in love with the bull, it’s a foolproof vengeance plan” and Aphrodite says “you are a god” and Poseidon says “yes” and Aphrodite says “why can’t you just, you know, take back the bull with your divine power?” and Poseidon is like “look, are you going to make this woman fall in love with the bull or not” and Aphrodite is like “fuck yes, that sounds hilarious, consider it done and I want front row seats” and Poseidon is like “you are my favourite niece and occasional lover, I owe you one”

Back to the palace at Crete, where Minos’ wife, Pasiphaë, is lounging about on a contemporary equivalent to a chaise-lounge when she suddenly gets this unmistakable urge to do the do with a bull - but not just any bull, her loins quiver only for the bull in her husband’s barnyard. Instead of doing what most people would do when they realise they have an insatiable urge to make tender love to a bull and immediately committing herself to months of therapy, she thinks “I know what I have to do” and she picks up the contemporary equivalent of a phone and calls Daedalus, inventor and architect extraordinaire.

She’s all “hey, Daedalus, we have patient confidentiality, right?” and Daedalus is like “I’m not your doctor, so no” and she’s like “well, I’m your Queen, so how about you say ‘yes’ instead and I tell you what I want?” and Daedalus is like “my lips are sealed, tell me what you need” and she’s all “well, there’s this really rad guy and I totally want to just lay him down and lick chocolate sauce off his body, but there’s a hitch in my plan” and Daedalus says “yeah, you’re married” and Pasiphaë says “yes, and also he’s a bull” and Daedalus is like “do you mean he’s well hung or” and Pasiphaë is like “look man you gotta help me on this, I need me some sweet bullocking and only you can help me” and Daedalus says “I’ll do what I can, but I hope you have a damn good shower at your palace because I may need to use it for about 6 weeks afterwards” and she’s like “done, now get over here and get me some”

So Daedalus turns up and helps her, and in the blink of an eye, he’s built her this monstrous wooden cow suit. Now, the myth is not exactly clear on the mechanics of this bovine sex toy, but it’s established that Pasiphaë gets into the cow suit and goes to find her bullock beau and they make sweet, sweet cattle love all day and all night. I do not know how she manoeuvres herself inside this wooden furry abomination and frankly I do not want to know, but whatever she does is 100% successful because 9 months later she gives birth to another furry abomination. The good news is that he’s a healthy, bouncing baby boy. The bad news is that he is half baby and half bull and also he has this really annoying habit that most newborns don’t have of eating people, which means that Minos is the definition of Not Impressed with his new stepson, so he does what any sane human would do in this situation, and he calls Daedalus. 

Daedalus says “I’m in the shower, what do you want?” and Minos is like “look, my wife has committed a slight indiscretion and I need you to take care of the result” and Daedalus is like “she fucked a bull and she’s had a grotesque hybrid baby, hasn’t she” and Minos narrows his eyes and says “how do you know?” and Daedalus says “just a stab in the dark, mate, I had no hand in this at all, literally none, just let me wash my hands a minute and I’ll be right back” and Minos is like “just build something to trap that devil spawn, because it’s started to eat my servants and I never even wanted a stepson anyway, it’s just one more claim to the throne isn’t it” and Daedalus is like “dude, give me a week and it’ll be done”

and so Daedalus constructs this impenetrable labyrinth that’s so impregnable that Daedalus nearly gets lost on the way out, and they lob the minotaur tot right into the middle of it, and that’s that.

Except then the minotaur starts demanding the sacrifice of seven young men every year, who are tossed into the labyrinth and forced to play a fatal game of cat and mouse with a grotesque superpowered man-bull creature that will ultimately devour them, flesh from bone, at the heart of a labyrinth that only he can navigate, but that’s a story for another myth. Or The Maze, starring Dylan O’Brien, out in a multiplex near you.

Keep reading

transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017.
Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through.
To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started.

As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

Keep reading

Prints

Summary: You and Sam leave your mark on the Impala.

Word Count: 2300

Warning: Smut, dom!Sam, dirty talk

A/N: Just something that happened. Enjoy! XOXO

“Is that a foot? Is there a footprint on the window?” Dean glares at the window through the rearview mirror, and you shift a little in the backseat to avoid his gaze.

It’s foggy and damp out, exactly the kind of weather that makes the windows fog up no matter what you do, and the three of you are piled in, ready for your next adventure.

Except there’s a footprint on Dean’s precious car.

And you know exactly where it came from.

Keep reading

Voltron fic recs, the threequel

PART ONE - PART TWO

I’m sorry I’ve been so absent recently. Excuses, excuses etc. etc. but basically I’ve had a bazillion work socials, commissions up the wazoo and am severely lacking in sleep. These things combined do not make for good artings. 

ANYWAY. 

Have some more fic recs! Knock yourselves out. See if you can spot the thing I said I wasn’t interested in and would probably never read >__> Ahaha ha look how that turned out…

As with any rec list, please pay attention to the tags and warnings <3

all we have to do - 19.5K; klance; Keith gets hurt during a mission, and Lance is not sure how to handle that.

equations for a falling body - 25k; klance; Keith, Lance, an alien drug and an enclosed space, and what happens after.

To the Universe and Back with You - 10k (WIP); klance; When Keith took off after the Galra empire fell he left Lance with a broken heart and a whole lot of resentment. Fast forward seven years later and Lance is the only paladin living on Earth, with his cat Peaches for company. It’s not perfect, but he’s happy. That is, until Shiro summons them to form Voltron again…

it’s quite bizarre, and will remain this way - 16.5k; klance; Keith is determined to keep his head down while serving out his community service volunteering at the Rex Alfor Memorial Space Muesum, but one rather loud member of staff won’t leave him alone…

shining like the stars - 139k (WIP); shklance; In a bid to help strengthen team Volron and their lion bonds, Allura takes the paladins on a pilgrimage to face the trials in the paladin temples. Keith unexpectely presenting as an omega rather throws a rather large spanner in the works…

Stormchasing - 18k; klance; Lance never intended to spend his vacation chasing after Keith’s premonitions, but here he is. Keith makes bad decision, Lance makes mistakes, and both of them are stuck together on a space pirate adventure neither of them asked for.

Purple Marks and Bleeding Hearts - 46.5k (WIP); klance;  Lance’s newest job is not what the sniper signed up for when he joined team Voltron. This mark shouldn’t be any different from the other Galra, but he is.

Feel the Bonds - 53.5k; klance; Being a paladin of Voltron is honestly the coolest thing that ever could’ve happened to Lance, but the people who should know probably never will. And despite their fighting, Keith is there for him when Lance is feeling particularly homesick. 

The Past On Your Doorstep - AU

Dean x Reader

Summary: After more than 4 years Dean knocks on your door, surprising the hell out of you. Then it’s his turn to be surprised when he sees a little girl standing next to you.

A/N: Moving this fic from my side blog @canyonic to my main one.

Word Count: 1900+

Keep reading

bananannabeth  asked:

hey fee, what's going on?? i havent properly been on tumblr in like a week and a half or read tdp because uni is taking up all my time but i just saw your post and??? omg??? what??? im really sorry and i hope youre okay (i know that sounds shallow but like.. as okay as you can be when people are obviously being idiots)

usually i wouldn’t answer this publicly but like i am genuinely shocked by the vitriol being targeted at lesbians right now and like it’s the most thinly veiled attacks i’ve ever seen, people are barely even bothering to try and disguise what this is really about (read: “shut up you evil dykes we’re sick of listening to you complain about lesbian issues and we want to be left alone”). it’s gone like way beyond the realm of fandom discourse at this point.

an overview of what happened:

  • the dark prophecy was released a few weeks ago (so, spoilers for that, but it’s really not a big spoiler and i kept it quite vague and tbh y’all should probably read this anyway because like i said, it’s gone way beyond the realm of fandom discourse at this point).
  • it contains an older lesbian couple, who had to leave the hunters of artemis because they fell in love and wanted to be together. upon meeting them, one of the characters mentions that they thought it was only men the hunters of artemis swore off of, but the apollo corrects them and says it’s actually all romance.
  • (it’s worth mentioning that apollo says this bitterly. as in: he doesn’t approve or agree. and not for nothing, i might be projecting, but it sounds a lot less like “i’m a god with an overactive sex drive and my sister’s such a PRUDE” and a lot more like “i’m bisexual and i feel uncomfortable with this rule”)
  • this lesbian couple is upset about leaving the hunters. they wouldn’t have done so if they hadn’t had to, they say it was their family, but they had to leave because they loved each other more.
  • apollo mentions that they parted on good terms with artemis, because “she let you live” (good terms, those). the hunters visit them sometimes. artemis does not.
  • so, it is now canon that the hunters of artemis do not condone love between lesbian couples, and lesbian and bi girls who fall in love are no longer welcome in the hunt.
this doesn’t sit well with me, or several other lesbians and bi girls (or apollo, or the lesbian couple themselves, it seems like).
for several reasons:
  • grouping in heterosexual love in the exact same category as lesbian love is homophobic. it’s not a discussion of “equality” but rather an acknowledgement that lesbian love as it exists in the world today is socially taboo and forbidden, and thus banning lesbian love has the potential to do much, much more damage than banning heterosexual love.
  • implying that all romance, and in this case specifically lesbian romance, is against a code of honor, is homophobic. there’s just no way around this. actively being uncomfortable with lesbians in love for no other reason than the fact that they’re in love carries massively homophobic connotations with it. it just does. sneering at all romance doesn’t negate this problem. lesbians can be hurt in ways that straight girls cannot. sneering at their romance is homophobic, because as much as we all might hate it, the world is homophobic and banning lesbian romance absolutely does reinforce this system of homophobia. it does. (this is like, oppression basics, u guys. if u pretend oppression isn’t there, ur siding with the oppressor. “i don’t see differences in sexuality and hate all romance equally” = “i do not acknowledge that some of you need different precautions and protections because you are systematically oppressed in ways that others are not”). we are not all socially equal. we’re not starting on the same playing field. heterosexual love is not a social taboo, lesbian love is, case in point: it hurts lesbians much worse to ban their love than it does straight people. not to mention that it’s triggering for people who have been in spaces that actually did ban lesbianism (hi, me, it wasn’t a fun time, and i don’t appreciate the hunters having any resemblance to my hellish private school experience).
  • artemis is evidently quite hostile towards lesbians..for being lesbians. like, loving women is what makes you a lesbian, and if that bothers her so much that they can’t even be around her and be together…i mean, what can we conclude about her? shunning all love, in this case, specifically lesbian love, and apparently not even having it off the table that she might decide to kill them, is homophobic. it doesn’t work like “oh well she’s uncomfortable with all love in general.” you can’t hide bigotry by widening the radius of people you hate. you will never be able to disguise homophobia by also hating straight people. if anything, that’s even more homophobic, because it lumps us right in under a massive group of “people who fall in love” which…includes straight people, who systematically oppress us. not a fan of being compared to my oppressors. certainly not a fan of being banished alongside them.
  • it’s very important to note that plenty of lesbians feel this is a complete misrepresentation of artemis and the hunt, and are quite upset that someone they identified with apparently hates them. (and she does. artemis wants nothing to do with lesbians who are in love, refuses to allow them to be in love and also in her hunt, gave them an ultimatum between her and each other, would consider murdering them).
  • like, we’re not working off nothing, here. artemis has ABSOLUTELY historically been associated with lesbianism. i’m not pulling this out of my ass, okay. lesbian themes are present in tons of artemis’ myths, her “loving women” is mentioned in virtually everything ever written about her. granted, it’s never specified to be romantic or sexual, but keep in mind the time that these myths were being recorded and who was doing the recording (read: men who thought lesbianism wasn’t real). many hellenic wlw follow artemis today precisely for this reason. separating artemis from lesbianism is Not The Best Move rick’s ever had lmao.
  • the oath specifically says no men in titan’s curse. it absolutely does. if you assumed this also meant no romance at all, that’s on you and your heteronormative thinking, bud. but it reads “I, [name], pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the company of men, accept eternal maidenhood, and join the hunt.”
  • pledging “eternal maidenhood” means “i’ll be a virgin” in children’s book speak. if you don’t believe me, notice how they refer to athena as a “maiden” goddess, but really mean “she can’t naturally conceive children [because she’s celibate].” they don’t mean “she’s single,” they mean “she doesn’t have sex.” maiden is a nicer term, but it means virgin: [adjective 1. (of a woman, especially an older one) unmarried. synonyms: unmarried, spinster, unwed, unwedded, single, husbandless, celibate.] we’re all familiar with the concept that you’re only allowed to have sex after you’re married to a man, right? well, that’s the assumptions this word was created under. don’t play dumb and try and say maidenhood means being eternally single; we all know what it really means and why the term exists. it doesn’t say wifeless, or even spouseless, it says husbandless. nobody was thinking about lesbians when they defined that word and rick wasn’t thinking about lesbians when he wrote the oath. thus: artemis is a virgin goddess who accepts virgins who pledge a vow of eternal virginity. that makes sense, because atemis is indeed a virgin goddess (literally the goddess of virginity) and some of her worst myths involve her kicking out hunters for “losing their virginity.” that’s got it’s own set of problems.
  • and yes, i am aware that artemis also explains the hunters “foreswear romantic love forever.” yeah, i got it. but she says this sentence in clarification to percy’s question—artemis says they’re immortal unless they break their oath. percy asks what oath. artemis says “to foreswear romantic love forever.” and as i just explained, the oath does not say that. she might’ve specified romantic love, but like, can we not play dumb here? it’s heteronormative. nuns also take a chastity pledge, but do we expect that this applies to gay nuns? no, we really don’t. like, don’t lie and say you were some enlightened ten year old being who read this line and thought “oh, thanks for clarifying artemis, i was wondering about lesbians.”
  • there’s like, an actual reason that artemis and her hunters swear off men: they’re dangerous. when she initially began her hunt, her mission was to rescue girls from being sold off to husbands they didn’t want to marry, or escaping abusive situations with their betrotheds and fathers (zoe nightshade, anyone?). i don’t see….when or why that turned into “all romance is distracting and inherently bad.” it’s not really very sensical. romance and sex were never the evils facing the hunt, it was the patriarchy.
  • in short: the hunt has become a hot fucking mess and lesbians (and bi girls but seeing as we’re specifically talking within the context of lesbian love it’s really implied that anyone who has the potential to experience that is part of the discussion) are upset. rick deserves a certain amount of blame for this.

now, see, the problem here that people can’t seem to get through their heads is that we’ve got a right to be upset about this. we are allowed to be upset about confronting homophobia in a character most of us liked and identified with.

  • and us complaining about that, explaining it, and pointing it out is…not “starting discourse”, however much you may think we’re crazy sjw dykes. i’m really not here in general for how any time someone is critical of a piece of media for valid reasons they’re immediately starting “wank” and “discourse.” it’s a misuse of the terms. discourse doesn’t mean “people have an opinion on why their marginalized group was represented badly” and wank doesn’t mean “we think this is homophobic” and you calling it that is a pathetic excuse to ignore what we’re saying. which is not to mention how incredibly transparent it is—discourse goes on in this fandom all the time. literally all the time. i’ve never seen anyone complain half as much about “fandom discourse” before as i have this past week.
  • and then there’s people derailing the conversation by making it about aroace erasure. first of all, it’s possible to like, talk about multiple things at the same time and there’s no reason why us discussing lesbians should have any bearing on aroace representation. second of all…. the hunters are like, not… technically even aroace? taking a vow of chastity and swearing off men is now equivalent to being aroace? does nobody see a problem with that? i’m stunned that people weren’t angry about that, to be honest, since it’s not exactly Controversial or New to say that asexuality does not equal celibacy and aromanticism does not equal an… eternal no romance pledge or whatever the fuck the oath even means anymore. like, cool, i understand you might be more inclined to take the oath if you didn’t experience sexual or romantic attraction, but that’s still a far cry from saying all of the hunters are aro and ace (and that’s. clearly not true. because some of them break their oaths. or join because they’ve been scorned by men they’ve fallen in love with).
  • which like, not to mention that they’re pretty hideous representation for you in general if they literally kill people who wind up falling in love? like, that’s your holy grail of representation? “you must have parted on good terms, she let you live” like okayyyy so you mean artemis’ typical course of action in dealing with girls who fall in love is to murder them? the fuck is wrong with yall 
  • people are actually offering this up as a benchmark for why artemis isn’t homophobic. she murders hunters who fall in love with men, but she let the lesbians live. like. this is the benchmark for lesbian allyship now, apparently. holy hell, people.
  • but sure, yeah, artemis, aroace patron goddess, who murders hunters that fall in love and refuses to offer protection to lesbians because they also fall in love, and calls love a “distraction” and thus pretends she’s the Enlightened One who isn’t sullied by romance. good one, guys. if that’s what you’re celebrating, and furthermore, if that’s the representation i’m “erasing” by talking about lesphobic issues, not only are you homophobic but like you’re just a plain old misogynist lmao. i don’t condone literally killing girls for falling in love and i certainly fucking thought it would go without saying that you people don’t condone that either, but apparently not! fucking hell.
  • which, anyway, even working under the assumption that it was good aroace representation, to accuse lesbians of erasure for being critical of how lesbianism is portrayed in a book? as if we were the ones who decided to include an ex-hunters lesbian couple? but we’re the ones who are guilty of the erasure for..what..talking about it? being angry? saying it’s homophobic? being upset that lesbians aren’t allowed in the hunt?
  • like, look, if artemis was presented in canon as someone who doesn’t experience attraction and started a convent for other girls who don’t, well that would be different, wouldn’t it? but she’s not presented that way. she’s apparently the patron to all women, so long as they don’t date men. zoe nightshade says she’ll accept anyone who takes the oath, no matter their species, and definitely regardless of their sexuality as well (because at the very least, zoe, the literal lieutenant, most definitely had other reasons for joining than being aroace, as did thalia, the current lieutenant, and emmie and jo are obviously not aroace yet still took the oath once, and annabeth even thought about taking the oath). it’s not, and never has been, about lack of romantic attraction. it’s about eternally swearing off all romance and banning love because love is bad.
  • i guess we all should’ve known this considering silena is all up in arms about the hunters telling her “love is worthless” in ttc, but damn call me stupid for daring to hope that as rick began to confront the rampant heteronormativity in his books we might have this patched up, too.
  • pro tip for like literally anything ever: if a marginalized group speaks up and says “hey that’s hurting us” you change your goddamn rules so it’s not anymore. like, for fucks sake, think about this in literally any other context but “lesbians are infiltrating artemis’ precious aroace safe space with their romance” and you’ll realize what condescending, homophobic fucks y’all are behaving like right now.
  • on another note: i have expressly explained this before, many times (there’s a link to one of them earlier in this post, and here’s another one), but it apparently bears repeating because nobody seems to understand: virginity is bullshit. it’s bullshit. it’s oppressive, invasive, creepy, misogynistic bullshit. will you stop pulling out this tired old argument that lesbians being allowed in the hunt somehow makes them invalidated? the idea that romance is distracting is stupid and ridiculous and condescending as fuck. the idea that your sexual history is anybody’s business but your own is disgusting. there’s no reason lesbians shouldn’t be able to be together in the hunters. there’s really not. there is a reason men are not allowed, and the reason is it’s a women’s space, to literally protect women from men.
  • this new information about the hunters cheapens the whole goddamn thing. like aside from being homophobic, it’s just plain sexist, now, too—we don’t swear off men because we’re making a statement about our lives in relation to the patriarchy, oh no!! we’re making a statement against romance. romance is bad. that’s the problem. who cares about protecting women from men? certainly not us, because we’ll kill you if you get abused by them! better keep your v card honey, or i’ll turn you into a bear!
  • and that brings me to the whole other subset of people trying to derail the conversation by making it about..rick hate? lol what? that rick is our ally and we should be grateful and he’s not perfect and he’s learning??? yeah, okay, i’m sure the answer to this is for all of us to just never talk about it at all? we’re not allowed to critique our own goddamn representation? how the fuck is he supposed to learn if you just try and smother everyone who tries to critique him by saying “HE’S A GOOD ALLY WHO IS STILL LEARNING!” like…cool? and i’m teaching him that i don’t approve of any of this, and i think it was a really underhanded way to represent us, not to mention still has gaping flaws in it?
  • like, yeah, whatever, i get it, artemis has her hideous flaws in greek myths as well. poseidon’s a rapist, hades’ is an abusive stalker, zeus is a megalomaniac serial rapist, but it’s not as though those were the characters rick chose to make look this bad, now was it? nope, it was artemis. he didn’t have to do that.
  • and even if he did, honestly, at the end of the day…who cares? it doesn’t matter who first created artemis this way. the fact of the matter is that in the series, she is, and that’s homophobic. it doesn’t negate the fact that we’re reeling from encountering homophobia from the hunters. it certainly doesn’t give anyone a license to tell us to shut up and get over it and stop talking and stop blaming rick. it’s homophobic. we’re allowed to talk about it, and be upset about it. let us fucking be.
  • of course the most hilarious thing is that this wouldn’t have even turned into “discourse” in the first place if y’all had just shut your fucking mouths and listened to us. instead, you started arguing, spreading around passive aggressive posts calling us too angry and telling us to chill out, sent us anon hate, blocked us, unfollowed us, and started complaining about all the other things i listed that are just fundamentally missing the point.
Why Polish orthography is important? #5

This time I would like to talk about diacritical marks (znaki diakrytyczne). In Polish we’ve got 9 letters containing diacritics - ą ć ę ł ń ó ś ź ż. Their sounds are different from sounds of the letters a/o c e l n o s z. Now let’s take a look at some examples:

  • łęk - lęk - lek (pommel/cantle - fear - medicine)
  • łaska - laska (grace - chick <woman>/cane)
  • kąt - kat (angle/corner - executioner)
  • piszę - pisze (I am writing; I write - He/She/It is writing; He/She/It writes)

Our most famous sentence which contains the biggest amount of diacritis is:

  • Zażółć gęślą jaźń (literally: Make yellow a goose’s self)

9 diacritics! Grammatically it’s okay but it has no meaning so I’m not able to properly translate it. 

Notes:

  • In the begining I mentioned that “ą” comes from “a/o”. It’s not a mistake, because in Polish we don’t have a nasal a”. Probably during Medieval Period it has changed its sound and right now we read “a” as a nasal “o”. In conclusion this sound should be written as “ǫ” but we decided not to change it - that’s why we’ve got “ą” instead of  “ǫ”.
  • ó” hasn’t got the same sound as “o”, but it has the same sound as “u”. Thought, in some places in Poland you can still hear “ó” as [o] - but only in subdialects.
  • We’ve got two diagraphs containing letters with diacritis - “” and “”.
  • On messenger, SMS etc. we usually don’t use diacritics - sometimes you need to be careful about writing like that and also understanding it. Here we’ve got the most popular example where we omit “ł”:
    - robić łaskę - to do a favour
    - robić laskę - to give a blowjob
  • In colloquial Polish we distinguish diacritis. We’ve got letters:
    - z ogonkiem (literally: with a little tail) - ą ę
    - z kreseczką (literally: with a little mark/line) - ć ł ń ó ś ź
    - z kropeczką (literally: with a little dot) - ż
  • There is a colloquial phrase być ąę - to be pretentious

It’s my last post about Polish orthography - I hope you enjoyed it! If anyone has some interesting facts about Polish orthography and wants me to take a look at it, message me - maybe the topic will be big enough for 6th part of Polish orthography’s posts.

Sometimes things are great! Sometimes… they’re really, really not. This is my personal plan for fixing everything when I don’t know what to do, and I thought other people might find it helpful. If you identify with this sentiment, but don’t think this is the right way for you to work on the problems you’re facing, that’s totally fine, and sometimes these aren’t things to work through by yourself.

This is what works for me, but really consider what your goals are and consider this as less of a how-to and more of possible framework to figure out where you want to go. A lot of this also refers to managing things within my apartment that aren’t super applicable if you aren’t the one responsible for your own groceries say. Use what’s useful and skip what’s not. You’ve got this.

Step One: Breathe, baby. This probably feels awful, whatever’s going on. Icky maybe. And that’s something that should change, but before the visible problems can shift, take a look at how you’re taking care of yourself right now. This step is the reset button - just a beginner’s step in areas that are central and maybe stressing you out. Stop the cycle of whatever was throwing you off.

I like to start with the executive function stuff. There might be a lot you feel like you have a lot to do - it’s been a while since things have been good about notes on all those readings, right? But unless there’s something absolutely 100% immediate and pressing, this first:

  • Drink some water. Wash your water bottle or a cup you like to drink from. Just one dish. The rest of them can wait just a little bit longer. Keep remembering to drink water. You’ll feel better.
  • How’s your room? Can you do some laundry? Get some things in the trash? Make your bed? Start with a single task that will get some things off the floor, but doesn’t feel scary. Leave the rest of it. You can fix it later.
  • When was the last time you ate something? Has it been a while? If there’s something at home, good. Eat that. If there isn’t, go pick something up from somewhere you feel safe. Worry about vegetables later. Eat anything right now.
  • Find somewhere you feel comfortable. Pick something acheivable. Do that thing. Whatever you’re ready for. Nothing scary. Nothing heavy. Spend some doing enough work that you feel like you’re being productive again; like you’ve finished something because you have! Then come back. Do you feel better?

In the interest of space, the rest is under the cut. :)

Keep reading

Popcorn Date

Title: Popcorn Date

Paring: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1,689

Warning: Cavity level fluff that turns smutty

A/N: I’ve been having this dream for months, thought I should share. The humming I talk about you can see in this video, just go to 17:05 and watch them talk about it, it’s pretty great. He does the humming thing again later on and Jensen can’t stop laughing. Anywho, enjoy dorky cute smutty Jensen!!


“Dude, just go ask her!” Jared nudged Jensen so hard he stumbled a little, falling into the side of Baby.

“Shut up! Come on man!” Jensen looked over his shoulder only to whip back around. “Shit, dude she’s coming over!” Jared started laughing before falling into a coughing fit as he tried to hold it together.

“Uh, hey guys. Jared you dying or something?”

Jared just shook his head, trying to keep a straight face. Jensen’s eyes went wide as he slowly shook his head, silently wondering what the hell had gotten into Jared.

“You guys sure you’re good?” you looked between the two boys.

Keep reading

Your Move

The nine times Simon and Baz prank each other and the one time they don’t

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

March 28

Baz

I haven’t had nightmares like that in years.

           Replaying the scene of my mother’s death is a classic, and it’s been a while since I’ve dreamt it, but it almost always has me waking in a cold sweat.  Occasionally I see it as I did when I was a child, but often it’s me as I am now, and the last thing I see is the look in her eye.  It’s not afraid, it’s just sad, disappointed that I’ve carried my sickness with me all these years.  That I never finished what she started by sending the nursery up in flames.  That I’m still walking the planet with vampire’s poison in my blood.

           There’s always the reassuring thought that I’ll wake up as soon as I’ve seen that look and the fire takes over, but this time it doesn’t work.  I keep dreaming, and it gets worse.  It turns into the nightmare that haunted my dreams almost every night for all of fifth year.

           I have to bite Simon.  I’m starved of blood and he is placed before me, veins pumping like drums in my head.  Someone somewhere is egging me on, sometimes it’s Fiona’s voice, sometimes my father’s, sometimes my mother’s.  I keep telling them no, and then Simon picks up a knife.  He tells me it’s okay and he presses the blade to his neck, tracing a shallow line and drawing just the thinnest stream of blood but the smell alone is enough to set my senses blazing.  I’m begging him to stop and he just walks calmly up to me, like the hero that he’s always been destined to be.  

           Sometimes I wake up in time.  Sometimes I don’t.

           When I don’t, I give in.  I always give in.

           His blood tastes real and alive and after one drop I lose control, drinking from his neck like I’ll never eat again.

           Sometimes I stay in the nightmare long enough to feel him run his sword through my stomach before I wake up.

           That’s what happened last night.  Before I was shaken awake, clutching at the phantom blade in my stomach, to find him gazing down at me with wide, fearful eyes.

           In the moment all I wanted was to pull him into my arms, to convince myself that he was real, we were awake and alive. Well, him at least.

           Instead I burst into tears in front of him.  Of course.

           He made no further move to comfort me, which is for the best.  Where in Merlin’s name would we have gone from there?

           When my alarm goes off this morning, I don’t bother hitting snooze.  I just slam the off-button and sit up.  My eyes are fuzzy and heavy, and I can feel the tears dried onto my cheeks.  I feel like a bear waking up from a terrible hibernation.

           Simon hauls himself out of bed, his curls standing up off his head like he was the one who didn’t get any sleep.  When he looks over at me, there’s a sort of caution in his gaze.  “You alright?” he asks tentatively.

           “Brilliant, Snow,” I croak, my voice raw from crying and the little sleep I got, “never been better.”

           He doesn’t move to get ready or even get off the bed, just keeps staring at me, and I can only imagine what I must look like right now.  Red, puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, probably a rat’s nest of hair.  A wreck.  A vulnerable wreck.  Wonderful.

           “Maybe…” he ventures, trailing off.

           “Words, Snow, I’m not in the mood to read your mind.”

           “Maybe you should skip class this morning.”

           I scowl at him.  “I know I look like death, but it’s nothing a hairbrush won’t fix.”

           “No,” he shakes his head, bronze curls falling in his eyes, “I mean you need your sleep.  I can say you’re sick or something.”

           I raise an eyebrow.  “Since when are you invested in my well-being, Snow?”

           “You didn’t hear yourself last night,” he mutters, and I think I see him shudder, staring at the floor, and it dawns on me that I must have been talking in my sleep.  My blood runs cold imagining what he might have heard, what I might have revealed.

           “No need to worry yourself,” I say, though I can barely keep my eyes open.

           At this point, he gets up and crosses over to me. I’m too shocked to protest when he gently pushes me back to the mattress and pulls the covers over me again, but I look up at him quizzically.

           “Just go back to sleep,” he tells me before heading to the bathroom to change.

           I’m practically asleep again by the time he leaves the room, shutting the door slowly and quietly, like I’m a sick child in his care.  The thought should be terrifying, but I’m out like a light before I can finish it.

*** 

           Even though I sleep for another few hours, I still wake up in a bad mood.  The rain pouring down the window doesn’t help, and I just have too many thoughts swimming around my head to feel refreshed.

           Second class has already started, so I take my time in the shower, scrubbing the feeling of the sword away from my torso. If I think too long about my nightmare, the tear-tracks on my face start to feel like Snow’s blood, and I rub the sensation off until my cheeks are burning and red.

           I don’t think about the nightmares.

           I don’t think about the concern in his eyes last night.

           I don’t think about his gentle touch pushing me back into bed.

           Instead, I think about our game.

           Snow never made his move.  So what does that mean?  He sure didn’t look like he wanted to pull anything on me this morning.  In fact, he looked quite the opposite, almost guilty, like he felt responsible.

           So who’s move is it?

           Mine,I think as I shut off the water. He forfeited his turn, so now it’s my move.

***

           I wait until classes are over to act.  I haven’t seen much of him since this morning (Crowley knows he can’t be seen talking to me in a civil manner outside the room), but I find him in the study hall.  Bunce and Wellbelove sit across from him, the three of them engrossed in their notes and textbooks.  Snow has a set of earphones in, and his phone sits on the table beside his work.

           None of them notice me when I come in, nor when I take a seat on the other side of the room.  I open one of my own books but I can’t concentrate when I look down at it. I’m still feeling the effects of the terrible night I had, plus I’m not even here to study.

           I see Snow say something to Bunce without removing his earphones.  He must have the music low enough that he can still hear.  Perfect.

           I wait a few more minutes, until he’s lost in his notes again, before pulling my wand out of my pocket.  I won’t be able to swing the wand as usual with this many people around, but I discreetly aim it at Snow from across the room.  More specifically, at Snow’s phone.

           “A little bit louder now,” I whisper.

           Snow jumps back from his table, frantically ripping at his earphones as his music goes from quiet to blasting in less than a second.  Wellbelove actually stands in shock, and someone’s papers go flying.  

           I don’t see the tail end of Snow’s reaction, as I have returned to staring pointlessly at my text.  When I glance back up, he’s turning the phone over and over in his hands, trying to figure out what happened.  Bunce hands him her earphones.  Classic.

           This time he only puts a bud in one ear, and he’s visually stiffer, ready to react if it happens again.  Which it will, of course it will.  Once he’s dropped his guard and I get bored of skimming over my book.

           This only takes approximately fifteen minutes. After another five, he’s noticeably flagging, his eyes drooping closed, the heel of his hand pressing a red mark into his cheek.

           As if he lost sleep last night.  As if he’d had the nightmares about killing me.  Well, not me, I suppose.  Someone who matters to him as much as he matters to me.  Wellbelove, maybe.

           That thought alone makes me sick.  Stupid Wellbelove and her stupid perfect hair and perfect face and perfect clothes. I almost want to turn my curses on her.

           They haven’t dated in almost a year now, but the fact still remains that they did.  At one point, Simon looked at her in that way that makes bystanders sigh and go all mushy.  He doesn’t look at her that way anymore, but it’s like a stain that won’t come out.  I can still see it, or imagine that I’m seeing it.  I wonder if it will ever go away.

           It’s with this thought in mind that I cast the spell a second time, expecting some sort of satisfaction when he once again jumps a mile into the air, but finding nothing but bitterness.  Stupid Snow and his stupid golden curls and splatter of moles.  Fuck him.  Fuck the way his eyes turn into oceans in the dark.  Fuck his crooked smile and the way his laugh makes the rain turn into sunshine.

           I forget to look away when he catches me glaring at him, and too late I see him figure it out.  He doesn’t glare back defiantly like I expect him to, just holds my gaze levelly like he understands.  What in Merlin’s name he’s understanding is beyond me.

           Thrusting my chin forward I mouth the words “your move” slowly and obviously. He just nods once before turning back to his books, deliberately leaving his earphones on the table.

Spirit Companionship FAQ Part 1

So this has been a long time coming. Questions are really in no particular order, but are common questions I get about spirit companionship! I will probably be referring back to this post a lot! Just as a heads up, when I say spirit in this post it is referring to both spirits and entities. I am also splitting this up into two sections because of length.

Please see more of your questions answered on Spirit Companionship FAQ Part 2.

What is spirit companionship?

Spirit companionship, or spirit keeping as it is also known as, is the practice of having spirits around as friends, companions, life partners, guides, teachers, students or whatever reason the spirit has decided to become a companion. But whatever the case is, the spirit has decided to become a companion, willingly. But for us, the humans, it is a way of life, as often these spirits are part of our family forever and require our time and commitment just as any other friend or family member does. You build relationships with them, go through ups and downs, and experience life together. Its a huge commitment. But worth it, as long as you have the time to dedicate to the spirits.

Do all spirits want to be spirit companions?

No. In fact, most spirits want nothing to do with humans, and even if they do want to work with us, its often not on a companionship level.

Is spirit companionship like having a spirit guide?

Being a spirit companion is different than having a spirit guide, but a spirit companion or entity can act as a guide. Sometimes our spirit guides turn into companions, but I have found they tend to stick in the background a little more.

Who can be a spirit companion

Anyone, really. Anyone can be a spirit companion, no matter your race, what religion you identify with, what sex you identify yourself with, or what part of the world you live in. It is not a closed practice.

How do I get a spirit companion?

The easiest, and often safest way to obtain a spirit companion is through a reputable conjurer. They will be able to connect you with a spirit that is an energy match to yourself, as well as one that wants to work with you as well, sharing common interests with you. You can check out my list of conjurer’s here as well as my list of my personally recommended conjurers.

Why do I need to use a conjurer? Why cant I just summon spirits myself?

Unless you have experience working with spirits, I would strongly advise against it. Think of conjurers as a safety net. By the time the spirit arrives to you, they have already gained the trust of the conjurer, and potentially others -depending on who you go through. They have also agreed to a contract in the binding where they agree to certain things (for example to not hurt the companion) with the conjurer, before that conjurer will bind their energy to the object. If you are attempting to do this yourself, you don’t have that, and could potentially summon up something quite dangerous without knowing. If you aren’t familiar with working with spirits, it can be even worse, because you have no way to judge their character and/or what type of spirit they are, and this could lead to you being taken advantage of. Until you have a few years of experience under your belt, I advise against trying to conjure yourself. Even then, keep in mind conjuring is a HUGE responsibility, and can be potentially dangerous.

How do I know its a calling?

Everyone feelings callings differently, but its basically a pull to work with a spirit, and the spirit with you. The important thing to distinguish here is that it is actually a calling. If you cant get that spirit off your mind, or you keep going back to the stop to make sure the spirit is “ok” or still there, or that spirit is waiting for you in the shop, then it is probably a calling. Thats just a few examples. With most conjurers, you can often contact them and have them ask the spirit as well too, to confirm the calling.

What is bonding? Why is it important, and how do I bond with my spirit(s)?

I am actually going to refer to another post on this question because it explains it much better then I can in this short FAQ! Click Here.

How do I greet a companion? Do I need to do a big ritual?

No! Some conjurers will provide a short incantation or way to welcome the spirit into your home, and if the conjurer provides this then you should do it. But if they don’t, you don’t need to do anything crazy except introduce yourself and welcome them into your home and life. Probably show them what they can and cant use, what areas of the house they are welcome in, read them house rules if you have them, and go from there! Do what feels right.


Please see more of your questions answered on Spirit Companionship FAQ Part 2.

Thats it for now! This might be updated with new questions later! And by no means is this the be-all end-all of spirit companionship FAQs. A lot of this is based off my experiences and opinions, as well as other spirit companions and friends. So do your own research, and come to your own conclusions.

More useful posts: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

queen-nat-xvi  asked:

you recently made a post about how seaworld doesn't mislead its trainers. why do they spout incorrect information about orca lifespans and reasons for why the dorsal fin droops? I'm not trying to be hostile, I genuinely don't understand why they would give the wrong info (like orcas max lifespan is 45 years) unless somebody was lying somewhere down the line.

First off, the average lifespan of wild southern pacific residents is 45, and that is true (and seems a little high, IIRC). I was writing a whole article on this at one point and I guess I should really go back and finish because people keep asking. Basically, if you read the wild census, you get a lot of young deaths - and then any animal that lives to adulthood will probably live into their 40′s. Most female whales go into what is effectively thought to be menopause and lose the ability to reproduce about 25 years after their first surviving calf… which is right around 45-50. Now, there are definitely outliers, and that’s what people get mad about - because you get people saying a normal lifespan is about 50 years shy of how long Granny lived - but you can’t measure a general population lifespan from a single animal. 

Second, I actually had the same question - what’s up with the dorsal fin collapse stuff people keep getting told weird things about? Since I was able to visit the parks through the AZA conferences I’ve attended, I asked someone.The response was that they’re absolutely allowed to tell the current theory - it’s even been talked about by some of their vets in public videos. So they’re not, as a company, trying to obfuscate that truth. I do know that Seaworld has been owned by a number of different companies, and that the way they trained educators was pretty different under each - Anheuser-Busch was the era of educators being trained to withhold animal names and only refer to them by stage names, avoid specific buzzwords with emotional connotations, and during that period educators didn’t have the ability to answer some questions - like about animal death - really at all.

I’d say it is likely that what is happening is educators or volunteers haven’t fully switched over yet. Not everyone you talk to outside a tank is going to be a trainer, and sometimes education departments and animal staff do not communicate as effectively as they should. Not to mention, when you’ve been trained for a long time to respond to the public a certain way, it takes time and practice to shift your responses away from those old habits. It’s also entirely probable that the people who are still giving weird messaging are worried enough about public backlash that they’re afraid to communicate more correctly - which is not great practice, but it’s not evidence intentional dishonesty from this current iteration of the company. 

Dorsal collapse absolutely does have to do with the animals spending more time at the surface, which wild whales don’t have the luxury or the chance to do (which is a luxury in the sense of it’s very rare for big mammals that have to eat a lot to be able to just chill out and stay still in the wild). This produces a very different pattern of air and water resistance on the fibrous tissue in the fin - and it probably starts to droop because it’s not getting as much underwater resistance or it’s being used unevenly. The direction the dorsal fin flops will be influenced by the animals preferred swim patterns, because  In addition to gravity, it’s theorized that UV exposure and heat does weaken the tissues causing them to sag. While it’s abnormal, for sure, it does not appear to be maladaptive - it’s not pretty but there’s not evidence that it actually causes health problems or harms the whales in anyway. 

anonymous asked:

Hi there! Do you have any long, slow-burn fics to recommend? It's okay if you don't, thanks :)

Ooooh thank you for the request! Many of my favorite fics ever are long slow-burns!

Wild by Seefin (93K)- “No,” Harry said, by way of greeting. Malfoy’s blonde head rose slowly, carelessly. “Get out.”
“I feel as though we’ve already established this, Potter,” Malfoy responded. “And I feel that what we established was that you telling me to get out of places really doesn’t make me more likely to vacate them.”

This is a really really REALLY lovely fic in which Draco shows up one day to complete his potions studies at the house in the Irish countryside where Harry lives with several amazing badass OC girls. At first they (drarry) don’t get along at all and it’s so fun to watch them come together! This fic also contains some Linny, which I love <3 Also Seefin is an amazing author in general and you should honestly read every one of their other fics as well (hi @seefin, you don’t know me but i love you!)

What We Pretend We Can’t See by gyzym (131K)- Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.
I read this fic relatively recently and within the first 10,000 words I knew it was my new number one favorite fic, and I WAS RIGHT. I can’t even explain what makes this fic so good besides just flailing about how incredibly well-written and compelling and hilarious it is. Draco has bought Grimmauld Place (which is sentient!) and turned it into a museum, and Harry is an auror who needs to track down whoever is mysteriously after Draco. A few months later and I still can’t get over this fic and how WONDERFUL it is.

Mental by sara_holmes (186.5K)- Harry has had quite enough of sharing his mind with someone else, thankyouverymuch. A miscast Legilimecy spell says otherwise.
This is also one of my favorites of all time (again, read everything by this author if by some miracle you haven’t already). Draco and Harry get stuck with a mental bond (!!!yes!!!) which makes it really hard for them to hide things from each other. At first they can’t control it but eventually they can, and the moment they first use it willingly was just SO GREAT. Really, the whole fic is just so great.

Heartache by Bixgirl1 (25.5K)- “Harry doesn’t think about Malfoy anymore. Not really. Not intentionally. What if the one person you least expect is the only one who really understands what you’ve gone through?
Does this count as long? Regardless, you should read this one because when I made notes on what I thought of it, I wrote “slow and sweet,” and I stand my that assessment. There is lots of hurt/comfort and the getting together is lovely and gradual. For more wonderful hurt/comfort slow-burn, you should definitely also see her fic Balance, Imperfect (91,000 words) in which Draco is Harry’s physiotherapist. But it’s been recced a lot recently so I thought I’d give one of her older fics some love too! (also this is my second @bixgirl1 rec in one day; I’m clearly obsessed)

Domestic by frostywonder (55K)- Harry finds a stray and decides to take him home.
Draco is down on his luck, so what’s Harry to do but take him in? As you can guess from the title, there is tons of domesticity in this fic, and it’s just so cute and there are TONS of truly hilarious moments (including one of my favorite gems ever about Malfoy bowel-movements). They live together, it’s a secret, Draco learns to cook… what more could you ask for? This one just makes me feel so warm and fluffy, I’ve probably read it at least three times.

All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl (114.5K)- Professor Malfoy’s world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.
I you haven’t already read everything by Saras Girl, you are insanely lucky and you should go get started right now. She has many long fics and they are all incredible. This one is one of my favorites, because the boys are Professors and Draco has the most amazing pet (giant) beetle who is full of personality and named Stanley. But I probably should also link to the Foundations!verse because it is VERY good and VERY VERY slow-burn. Like, I was shocked that my interest was held for so long without so much as a kiss but IT WAS.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound (149.5K)- Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.
I feel like I’m only recommending the ones everyone has already read anyway, but that’s because they’re the best, so can you blame me?! Draco’s auror partners keep mysteriously dying and Harry can’t get along with any of his, so they are thrown together! The quintessential auror partners fic, with an amazing evolution from not-trusting-each-other to friends to lovers and TONS OF UST.

Bond by AnnaFugazzi (173.5K)- I started to write this before HBP came out, and crossed my fingers that HBP wouldn’t make it totally non-canon. No such luck, I’m afraid. This, therefore, is an AU story, where (SPOILER) still teaches (SPOILER), (SPOILER) didn’t try to (SPOILER), (SPOILER) didn’t succeed in (SPOILER), (SPOILER) never dated (SPOILER), and most importantly, (MAJOR ENDING SPOILERS) never happened.
You’ve all read Bond, right? It’s a (possibly THE?) classic— well— bonding fic. I’ll include it just in case you haven’t heard of it by some miracle (or maybe you want to read it again because last time you were like 15 years old?). The kissing happens kind of early but the romance isn’t until later so I think it still qualifies as slow-burn?

ANYWAY, I hope you find at least one fic on this list that you haven’t read already? They’re all seriously amazing in my opinion (no lukewarm recs from me!) so you can’t go wrong!

2

Prompt: Congrats!! Can you do kirk one where your pavels twin and you come onto the enterprise to study a rock sample? Or something and kirk really takes a liking to you? Much pavel love, and bones sneaky comments? For Anon

Warnings: No……

Pairing: Kirk/Reader

A/N: I changed it to you beeing an older sister, just to make the age gap better. Also, I think this might get a part two!

Word Count: 2048

Keep reading

ofwolves-andstars  asked:

Do you have a personal favorite fic? Like, that one that you're like "holy fucking shit every single person should read this fic RIGHT NOW"?

Wow that’s not a hard question AT ALL. YOU ARE CRUEL. :P 

There are too many incredible fics out there. But I mean if I had to choose, anybody who’s been following me for a long time will probably guess my answer. I can’t help it guys. There’s just something about A Cure For Nightmares by picascribit that I can’t get over. I love it to death, even after rereading it too many times to count. 

Let’s give this question a little variety though, lol. One that I read recently that made me think “oh god this is sO GODDAMN AMAZING” was Sex and Dying in High Society by fluorescentgrey. Seriously, I tried to write a rec right after I read it and it was a mess; I was feeling too much to be very coherent. But my final sentence was “100% going on my list of all-time favorites.”

does this make sense? | 08 (m)

pairing: min yoongi x reader / park jimin x reader, college! yoongi, college! jimin
genre/warnings: smut, angst
words: 9,282
summary: You meet the mysterious Yoongi at a house party and no matter how uninterested you tell yourself that you are, you can’t say no to him. Can you end up changing his playboy ways, or will you just end up getting hurt?

» playlist | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | + | ✓

Keep reading

#SanversWeek has begun!!!!

My own first fic can be described as something like this:

Originally posted by wildemeraldeyes

But more importantly, I can’t wait to read all of yours (not to mention see your gifs, art, etc!!!)!!!!!

Don’t forget to tag your work with #sanversweek and #day1 or whatever day is appropriate!!! 

Happy creating and sharing, all!!! <3 <3 <3