New Cuts and Old Scars
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Prompt: “You are more than what you think you are.”
Word Count: 896
Warnings: SELF HARM, LOW SELF ESTEEM, AND DEPRESSION but fluff at the end I promise
A/N: Hey everyone! This is my entry for @the-shield-of-writing ‘s writing challenge celebrating 800 followers! Enjoy!
Taking the small blade in your hands, you fumbled with it in your fingers. You knew you shouldn’t do it. You had promised you wouldn’t. Yet, you still wanted to. You knew you deserved every ounce of pain that was going to be delivered to you because you were just you. You were always anxious and always sad and never slept and it just got worse and worse. You were just an ugly, worthless burden to everyone else. No. No. I need to be fine. I need to be okay because other people tell me I’m supposed to be fine. Even in your head you knew that was just the same lie you had been telling yourself for years now. You needed the sweet release of pain. Something to lash out at. Better yourself than anyone else.
With a tear rolling down your cheek, you lifted up your sleeve and dragged the small piece of metal across your skin. It stung at first but created a small line of red to which the liquid dripped down your wrists and onto the floor. Over and over again, you slashed, hacked, and slit your skin, officially ruining its beautiful clarity you had worked so hard to keep. Red line after red line appeared and drop after drop of blood fell to the floor staining the freshly washed green rug. “Y/N?” a voice called from the hallway. You simply ignored it as you continued to harm yourself. “Y/N? Are you okay?” Loki’s voice echoed just outside the door. He knocked three times gently. Hearing his voice simply made it so much worse. You didn’t deserve him. Slash. You are a broken useless girl that can no longer wear short sleeves because she hates herself that much. Slash. God, you should just kill yourself already. Slash. The knocking at the door had turned to poundings and you heard the doorknob being twisted and turned in a desperate attempt to get in despite it being locked. “Y/N? Y/N!Your boyfriend had started to raise his voice in alarm. Blood dripping down your arms you moved to your thighs where you did the most damage. No one checks the thighs. Tears stung the cuts you made on your skin yet you continued on. You were so involved in mutilating your legs that you didn’t hear the door being forcefully wrenched open.
Suddenly the blade disappeared from your fingers and strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind instead. “Y/N, my beautiful queen, please don’t do this to yourself. You were spun around to meet Loki. His beautiful eyes looked down at you with such sorrow it caused you to cry more violently, if that was even possible. Bleeding arms and all he pulled you to his chest not caring what the blood stained. You buried your face in his dark hair, shaking with sobs. He hugged you so tight you could barely breath but it was exactly what you needed at that moment. He stroked your hair and didn’t let you go even when you tried to pull away. You both slumped to the floor and he let you go only to take your hands in his and press kisses to your unsteady fingers. “Loki, I’m so so sorry. You deserve so much better. I’m sorry I’m not good enough,” You looked down sadly knowing it was true. He deserved the world and more and you couldn’t give it to him. You were broken and beaten up and all around pathetic. “Y/N look at me.” It was almost as if his voice commanded you to turn your head up and his gaze locked on yours. “You are good enough. In fact you are more than good enough.” Your hands started shaking violently again. How could he possibly think this highly of you? In order to calm your hands he simply intertwined his fingers in your own. God, his touch could work wonders on you. The shaking slowly came to an end and you gripped his hands as if your life depended on it.
“Y/N,” he spoke softly. “You are more than what you think you are. You are the kindest, most caring compassionate, and intelligent person I have ever met. Not to mention breath-takingly gorgeous. You know that I would do absolutely anything for you and all I want is for you to be safe and happy and it breaks my heart break to see you, my precious Y/N, like this because you are my everything and so much, so much more.” At this point he had tears in his eyes himself, He cupped your face and shook it gently desperately trying to get you to accept the words that were coming out of his mouth as the truth. “I promised I would protect you, Y/N.His voice cracked with sorrow. “Do you understand me? I promised! I will not rest until I have kissed every cut, every scar on your body and healed every wound that this cruel, cruel world has instilled in your beautiful soul.” He took you back into his arms briefly, cradling your fragile body in his strong arms. “Nothing can touch you while I am here Y/N I swear it. You are mine and I am yours and I will never ever let you go my beautiful, ever-loving, and oh so deserving Queen.”