you should have let me sleep

lemonbird  asked:

IMPORTANT QUESTION. Vampires aren't suppose to enter a premise without being invited right? What if a hermit vampire was living in his falling apart old castle and some fuck bought it as a "fixer upper", would the vampire just glitch out on to the lawn or would he be okay since he lived there before?

Okay so this would depend on where you are in the world, and whether or not they had squatters rights (can’t be evicted and can apply for legal ownership of place once they have been there for X amount of years) but I mean, the dude owns the place, even if it is a run down mess he was still there first and there’s probably some ancient land ownership law which can’t be overwritten by modern laws (you find all sorts of weird things are still technically legal cause no one bothered to update the books since 1645) so basically whoever just bought this castle to turn it into a modern fixer upper, congrats, you also just bought yourself a vampire and he’s not going anywhere.

(Also now I kind of want to write this where a family buys it to turn it into a hotel/wedding venue and the kids find the vampire in the attic and he ends up being the weird uncle who gets roped into hilarious wedding related shenanigans?? Like 


“Okay yes fine, you can host weddings here, but registrar only, no religious ones.” 
“But Theolodious, why?”
“Really Sharon, really, do I have to spell it out for you. Really.”

*

“We really should increase the lighting for photographs, what about skylights?”
“No.”
“But—”
“How about I just set all of you on fire while you’re trying to sleep.”

*

“Please, for the love of god, please don’t let people throw confetti or rice, I’m begging you.”

*

“Okay what’s our final head count for the night?”
“107.”
“Are you sure?”
“Did I fucking stutter Steve?”

*

“Uncle Theo, why does the groom have “help me” on the bottom of his shoes, why is everyone laughing?.”
“Because small one, humanity has failed collectively as a species and heteronormativity is a constructed lie designed to oppress over half the population for not conforming to arcane and chauvinistic ideals put in place by dead scholars who have long since turned to dust and have no place influencing modern society.”
“…”
“Permanence is an illusion.”

*

“Madame, flattering as your offer is for a quickie, you’re not my type.”
“What is your type then?” ;) ;) ;)
“O negative.”

*

“Whoo, what a day, I could eat a horse.”
“Same.”
“…”
“…well obviously I’m not going to.”

*

“Theo…are you…are you crying?”
“Yes.”
“You big softie, I never thought someone like you would cry at a wedding.”
“…I’ve lived a long life, Sharron. People come and go, the christening you bless will be the funeral you mourn in less than a century. But people keep saying “I love you”, that has to count for something.”

me at 3am: i should sleep

brain: how about searching for that fanfic again that you liked so much 2 years ago

RP starters: Concern.
  • “It’s midnight, where the hell were you?!”
  • “Stop keeping your phone in silent, you got me worried!”
  • “Blood? Are you bleeding?”
  • “I don’t like the idea of you walking down the streets all alone.”
  • “I thought I would never see you again…”
  • “We should get you to hospital.”
  • “Where did all those bruises came from?”
  • “I have the right to be worried!”
  • “Have you been drinking? You look terrible.”
  • “Sleep at my place tonight.”
  • “I don’t feel safe letting you be alone when you’re in that shape.”
  • “Please talk to me about it.”
  • “Let me take care of you.”
  • “You need to rest now. Don’t move.”
  • “How many times have I told you to not go there?”
  • “You could’ve died, you know…”
  • “I don’t care if you don’t want my help, I’ll do it anyways.”
  • “You really need to stop drinking. I’m serious.”
  • “This time you got yourself into a hospital. I think that’s a sign.”
  • “Are you sure you’re okay?”
  • “You need to stop doing stupid shit like that or you will get yourself killed.”
  • “I’m your friend, of course I care!”
  • “You know I’m always here for you, right?”
  • “You’re not okay.”
  • “I’m just trying to help you.”
  • “Let me clean your wounds…”
  • “Why did you do it? Tell me.”
A Little Too Drunk Starters:
  • “Oh, HELL no! Not in MY bed!”
  • "We watched some horror movie.. I think it’s called, ‘the Teletubbies..’?”
  • “Pants are just an illusion.”
  • “Shut the fuck up a pikachu onesie does so suit me.”
  • “Hey, man, I hate to tell you this, but I think your dog’s cheating on you..”
  • “Hey, the cat crashed your car.”
  • “I thought today was your birthday, so I rented a bouncy house, but then I remembered it isn’t, so now we have a bouncy house.”
  • “It’s not a mattress, it’s my kingdom and you are encroaching on it.”
  • “[NAME]’s a VIP at that one strip club….. What’s it called again… 'Golden Corral’?”
  • “I’m bleeding?!”
  • “I have to tell you a secret…”
  • “You think it’s important that I lost my shirt?! You think it’s important?! I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S IMPORTANT!!! CALLIOU CAN’T FUCKIN’ TIE HIS SHOES!!!”
  • “I need at least seven sweet and sour sauces or I’m fucked.”
  • “I was pretending to be a ninja and the blade of the knife just flew right off and broke the window.”
  • “Look, man, I didn’t mean to pee on you.”
  • “Thanks for letting me room with you… By the way, vodka makes me gassy.”  
  • “You want to go to Taco Bell?”
  • “I lost [NAME]. Have you seen them?”
  • “Wow, you look so much better when I’m drunk. You should try it more often.”
  • “I CAN’T SLEEP WITHOUT A LULLABY!!”
  • “Hello, 911? Are you still awake?”
  • “Jesus told me to do it.”
  • “I’m really sorry I’m so creepy everybody…”
  • "This is awful. I am inventing electricity, and you look like an asshole.”
  • “How many nutrients do you think there are in dog biscuits? I already ate, like five.”
  • “HOLY SHIT HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET SO TALL? WHAT THE FUCK?”
  • “Hamsters have feelings, too..”
  • “Who convinced me to come here?”
  • “The dog looked so lonely.. So I took it home.”
  • “I’LL PROTECT YOU! I’M BATMAN!”
  • “Look at all this snow. Imagine if it was sand, but still cold. No wait, warm snow. Man, that’d be cool..”
  • “You’re not very hot, but maybe after another beer or two..”
2

a soft and beautiful man and the sharp asshole that lives in his house

Small tips that make a (healthier) difference

Hey you! I dare you to try your best to follow this checklist tomorrow! But hey! Not so fast. Why not try it again the next day (and every day after that)? Sometimes it’s the smaller changes that can in fact help improve our health and wellbeing, especially when we think we’re short of time. School stressing you out? Everything is going to be ok. Try a few little things here. Tick everything off that you completed! Tell me how it goes for you!

This was a spontaneous post and I’ve found that I’ve been making errors in my posts recently! Plz correct me bc I am an egg. Hope u like it anyway.


Morning:

  • Wake up as soon as you do naturally or when your alarm goes off. Make your bed! Open the blinds!
  • Get out of bed and s t r e t c h – all the way from the very tips of your fingers to the tips of your toes. (Trust me, this feels good)
  • Set your intention for the day. This might be weird for some, but try it. Example: Today I will be productive. I will be focused on my tasks and I will take the time to relax when needed. It doesn’t have to be as complicated – Example 2: I can do this. Remind yourself again.
  • Eat breakfast. A MUST. Try my favourite: eggs (poached, scrambled or fried) on toast with avocado or baked beans. Yes. We are on a roll today.
  • Drink one full glass of water within the hour of waking (don’t down it all in one go though!).
    • Add 1/8 of a lemon to this. Lemon is great to alkalise the body and getting that digestive system of yours goin! This will flush out toxins in the body and support your immune system too!
      • Side note: Wait half an hour before brushing your teeth after this (or maybe do it before) because lemons are acidic after all and can probably do some damage to your shiny whites.
  • Try having a water bottle by your bedside and beside you throughout the day as a constant reminder to drink water as you see it. Trust me, this has helped improve my water intake a lot.
  • Organise your day. What are your plans? What are of priority and what are not? Try brain dumping this, and then organising each task/item into a list, categorised in importance. This will help decrease stress throughout the day and easy referral back to this list.
  • Dress in some lovely clothes! Your fave sweater and some cool black tights? 100%!! What about that pretty skirt you like with a nice top? HECK YEAH!!!

Midday:

  • Lunchtime! Eat again. Wholesome foods are an absolute must whenever you can.
  • Aim for 3-4 cups of water by lunchtime (inclusive of the glass of lemon water you had this morning).
  • Remember that intention you set this morning? Say it again.
  • Throw a compliment at someone. Be genuine. This will have a butterfly effect. If someone throws one at you to – don’t disagree! Say thank you. You rock, don’t doubt that.
  • Are there any ticks beside those tasks on your checklist from this morning? I hope so!
  • Throw in a random burst of exercise! In public too – who cares! Pick one of these: 50 starjumps! 3 sets of 10 squats! A quick walk around outdoors!

Arvo (/Afternoon… Straya):

  • Hit that 3pm slump? Same. Here are a few ideas to get you going, especially coming home from a long day:
    • NAP! 15-20 mins. No longer. No less. Be strict here or your sleep pattern might go funny and we don’t want that. (And groggy headaches are gross)
    • Exercise! This is so fundamental to our health and wellbeing. Try out short pilates videos (no equipment) here (that as living proof, work) or some really cool yoga videos here, here, and here. Yoga is great. Try this daily. Or take a brisk walk for 30 minutes  = wake up your brain, pick up your mood AND burn some fat. C’mon, go get your shoes!
    • Have a healthy snack, such as those listed in this great post by @tbhstudying. Get your brain and bod going, my friends!
  • Write down your to do list for any work, study or event related things that you need to complete this afternoon. Set out all your equipment, sort out your papers from the day and get organised!
  • Clear your (bedroom/bed/desk/floor/work/closet) space for 5 minutes every day. I’m guessing that you’ve started to pile a few things here like I do. This will save you time and help maintain cleanliness, staving away from the complicated stress that comes from having to reorganise just about everything which we all know to hate when we’re busy with other things.
  • Have you had your 5th and 6th cups of water of the day yet? Get to it!
  • Sit up straighter and you’ll look more confident and feel more confident. Your back will also be very grateful for this.

Night:

  • Continue all your extra to-dos. Get this done. You can do it!
  • Make sure to put something in your body guys. I’m talking food here by the way… don’t let that sentence mislead you! This is especially important for those of you probably thinking “I’ll just eat later” or “I’m not hungry”.  Eat. EAT NOW. PleASE.
  • Spend some quality time with your family. How’s their day been? Tell them about yours too.
  • Glasses of water No. 7, 8 and beyond should be here.
  • Prep your meals, lists, notes, outfits, etc. for the next day. Getting these things sorted now will help you get it out of the way and save you time!
  • Settle down a little. It’s time to wiiiind doooooooownnn. Read a book. Scroll through Tumblr (aaayeee!) – but not too deep into the pits okay guys. Watch a little TV.
  • I know a lot of posts say to switch off 1-2 hours before bed. If you’re literally glued to your electronics, try switching off 5 minutes earlier every day and replace that with something else. What about doing your prep items for the next day (listed two points back!!)? Or, do get those pesky chores out the way.
    • Side note: Cleaning your room often will help freshen it, get rid of itchy dust and decrease the chances of bugs and other smol random things to crawl around your room. (If that’s not a little motivation then I’m not sure what is…). It’ll also keep your space maintained so you don’t have to do it all at once. *Shudders* Plus the likelihood of those gross germs from the world hanging around and building up in there is a no-no.
  • Sleep! 7-8 hours. Your body will thank you for it. CRUCIAL for healthy brain and body function. Plus your mood and skin will improve (i.e. gOODBYE EYEBAGS and hELLO GLOWING SKIN).
    • Side note: I see you reading this at 12am when you should be sleeping. I see you.

I hope this has helped you guys a little or at least inspired you to make a small change to your daily routine! Try doing a few items here (e.g. glass of lemon water, sitting up straighter, 8+ cups of water) and record this on a habit tracker! The smallest changes often have the greatest effects!

Don’t forget to let me know how you go.

Kalyisah (@studywithkal)

Anger levels

Aries mars:

  1. FIGHT ME
  2. FIGHT ME
  3. FIGHT ME

Taurus mars:

  1. Who the fuck are you? Stay silent please.
  2. Okay you’re not listening to me and that’s making me a bit nervous.
  3. .
  4. .
  5. .
  6. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Gemini mars:

  1. hahahahahaahaha you’re so angry
  2. Well let’s see, you’re so wrong bc *throw away all his arguments* that’s it, buddy. Go home, enjoy life.
  3. *Still isn’t angry*

Cancer mars:

  1. You’re angry? Well I can’t understand what I’ve done to make you angry, literally I’m not like that in fact I should be angry with you for making all this drama.
  2. How???? YOu’re hurting me and you fucking like it, You are always hurting me and throwing all your problems onto me can you stop please I DON’T DESERVE THIS.
  3. You’re the worst person that I’ve known. I hate u *hates them until they ask for forgiveness* Okay let’s hang out, I know a cool place we could go :)

Leo mars:

  1. How u dare
  2. HOW U DARE TO TALK TO ME THAT WAY YOU’RE NOT THINKING YOU DON’T KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM
  3. I WILL CHASE YOU UNTIL YOU PLEAD FORGIVENESS AND I WON’T BE FRIEND WITH YOU ANYMORE ALL THE PEOPLE WILL KNOW THE SHITTY PERSON YOU’RE AND…
  4. *Gets bored*
  5. I still hate u but I have better things to do ;*.

Virgo mars:

  1. I don’t find interesting fighting you.
  2. Don’t you have something better to do than yelling to a wall?
  3. You’re kinda idiot, aren’t you? Let’s see, you’re yelling inside a room (that, metaphorically, can be your own head) to someone that isn’t understanding and, furthermore, doesn’t care about the problem itself. Don’t you catch the uselessness of this situation? Plus, you gotta check your arguments. They’re too weak and poorly presented.
  4. Go and sleep for some hours. You’ll be cool and tomorrow we’ll be able to debate this thing.

Libra mars:

  1. Why are you so angry? 
  2. You’re killing my vibe.
  3. Okay I came here to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.
  4. Okay shut up you’re right *changes subject abruptly*.

Scorpio mars:

  1. I will hunt you down till the day I die.

Sagittarius mars:

  1. Okay your arguments are totally messed up let me explain it to you, little.
  2. Haven’t you listened to me?? WHY ARE YOU CONTRADICTING ME? Okay you should be respectful of others opinions *five minutes later*  You need some fucking education. I’m never talking to you again!
  3. .
  4. Wait we were fighting? When?

Capricorn mars:

  1. You’re not worth my time.
  2. I won’t stoop to your level.
  3. .
  4. .
  5. .
  6. Fucking run.

Aquarius mars:

  1. You look so silly! Ow, look at these short-minded, their stupidity makes them adorable…
  2. Your arguments are sooo uninteresting. I’ve heard this like 2 times before *rolls eyes*.
  3. Ow, they’re so angry, I can’t stop laughing… oh, wait, what have you said?
  4. OKAY YOU WANTED IT BITCH *starts throwing away all his arguments while trying to look confident and so over it*.

Pisces mars:

  1. Your anger makes me angry. Stop being angry. I don’t want to fight okay
  2. I don’t want to fight please I’ll be all messed up aND I HATE U
  3. *sobbing* I’m sorry can’t we be friends again?

Thanks @phantasticforfob for helping me writing this shit.

Humans are Weird

So, I just thought of my own humans-are-the-weird-ones thing. What if humans were the only race to develop clothing and other things that are used simply to change our appearance. The other races don’t use clothing for protection from their home environments, and use vehicles for exploring non-native environments. Armor exists, but in a non-ornamental way, and generally doesn’t do much to change appearance, or is at least non-individualized. Makeup and nail polish are unknown, though tattoos and piercings are known to be used by some cultures for ranking and identification purposes and are not used ornamentally by any race other than humans. Hairstyles are not unknown, but are all generally for practical (keep it out of the way! I need insulation! I need shade!) reasons.

At first, aliens just think that there are a lot more humans than there really are, that humans that look alike with small differences are just family members, and that humans just naturally tend to be known solely by their family name. (Like, Alien “Ralph” meets Human “Bella Tailor” one day, sees her the next day in a different outfit, and thinks that he/she is meeting a relative of the human he/she met earlier, and that their family name is “BellaTailor.”)

Humans, at first, just thought that aliens were terrible at matching faces and names… and that they were apparently all nudists, but hey, who cares? Different cultures and races and all that, you know.


“Hello, BellaTailor. My name is Ralph. I believe I met your relative the other day. How is she doing?”

“I do not have a sister, Ralph. You must be mistaken.”

“That cannot be! She looks just like you, only more… pink, I believe is the correct color-word… and has your name! You must be relatives! It would be too much of a coincidence for you to not be related!”

“Where… exactly… did you meet my ‘sister’?” 

“Oh! We were on the same shuttle together. I must admit I am surprised; I thought that there was only one human on the ship’s roster.”

“Ralph, I am the human you met there. Remember how we talked about how uncomfortable those one-race-fits-all shuttle seats are?”

“But… no… you are different colors and patterns! This is a terrible joke. I wouldn’t suggest trying it on anyone else.”

“Dude, all I did was change my clothes. It’s not like I’m a whole ‘nother person, despite what commercials and such would have you believe.”

“Clothes?”

“Right… nudist… um… let me just… show you?”

Bella precedes to take off her top (not like they’ll care, they’re nudist anyway, right? eep, here goes nothing, really hope this is okay). Ralph thinks she means that they’re a race that sheds their skin, though he’s put out and puzzled over how no one mentioned that fact to anyone. After all, shedded skins can really clutter up an area, especially at the rate she seems to shed, though it could explain a few things. Bella, frustrated, puts her top back on, takes Ralph to her quarters, and shows him her clothing (which was still mostly packed due to limited storage space). Ralph finally sort-of understands, but the idea is totally trippy and weird to him.

“What did you think I brought so much luggage for?” 

“Well, I didn’t really want to pry, and your planet is… a bit… cluttered…”

*sigh* “Dude, I can’t… I just… urgh! WHY ME?!?!?!”


After many misunderstandings the aliens are brought to understand that humans can change their appearance in many ways, practically at-will. 

Then the whole issue of “camouflage” comes up. By this point, humans have developed advanced camouflage that automatically mimics the wearer’s surroundings. The other races react in various ways. Some are rather neutral about this discovery. Others are afraid. But many desire to obtain the art and secrets of “camouflage” for themselves. The earth and humans are now at the center of a conflict that borders on war - Intergalactic war. Because we’re the only race to have actually thought of camouflage. Thankfully, the other races begin to catch on before full-blown war is unleashed, but it is a very close thing.


@howtotrainyournana @crossroadsdimension Look! I came up with one! :D YAY for tired-brain-creativity! WHOOO (don’t really feel tired now, but I should be, and I know I will be when I have to wake up in four hours. :/ why does the coffee only seem to work when you actually want/need to sleep?)

“If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means ‘flunk’.”

Lemony Snicket
Absolutely Disgusting Shippy Starters
  • "I got you a little something..."
  • "You look adorable in that."
  • "Flowers? For me?"
  • "Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you."
  • "I know you had a long day, so I took care of dinner."
  • "I did a little shopping at the naughty store."
  • "Let's cuddle and be sluggish all night long."
  • "Did I tell you you're beautiful, today?"
  • "I already ordered pizza for tonight."
  • "Candles, rose petals and champagne? What's the occasion."
  • "I can't believe that you fell in love with me."
  • "What is the one thing you absolutely, positively wanted?"
  • "Time to bury ourselves in blankets and ignore the rest of the world."
  • "Gimme that phone. It's getting shut off."
  • "You did all this for me?"
  • "Normally I hate surprises, but you did good."
  • "You just made my terrible day not so terrible."
  • "I will protect you, no matter what."
  • "Let's get a little tipsy for science."
  • "Wow. You look amazing."
  • "If it wasn't for the fact that I am so happy I would be suspicious right now."
  • "I love you so much."
  • "Shall we climb into bed?"
  • "You tried and that's what counts."
  • "I just want to curl up into your arms and sleep for days."
  • "I just have one question for you; ice cream or popcorn?"
  • "We should go to the festival!"
  • "You're not going anywhere without me. Especially anywhere dangerous."
  • "How would you feel about getting married?"
MASTERLIST

As of: June 12, 2017

ETHAN

Netflix and chill?

“I’m coming over for cuddles and kisses.”

“I’m living every girls dream.”

Shopping

“I can make an exception for you.” (Halloween)

“Chillin’ by the fire.”

Date Night

“I don’t care if I get sick.”

“Chivalry is dead, but you’re still kinda cute.”

“I miss you so much.”

“I can’t believe I’m letting you do this.”

“But you’re so cute when you’re sleeping.”

“No hints, sorry.” (Christmas)

“Morning beautiful.”

“Yeah, it is my business.”

“Be the strong girl that I know you are.”

“I believe in you, and you should believe in yourself.”

“Baby Food Challenge.”

“I’m so glad I can finally call you mine.”

“I’m catching feelings.”

“I love every inch of your body.”

“I need to know that you’re okay.”

Babysitting

“I don’t like when we fight.”

“I hope you’re not mad at me.”

Day of Filming

“Come with us.”

“I have a huge surprise.”

“Please prove them wrong.”

“Happy New Year.”

“This is gonna be a long night.”

Late Night Dance Party

“Thank you for being here.”

“I love you so much already.”

First Date (Preference)

“It’s time for us to take the next step.”

“I cherish our friendship more than anything.”

“Any time would’ve been a good time.”

“I promise they’ll love you.”

“You should smile more.”

“I could really use a cuddle.”

“Babe, is everything okay?”

“I just wanted us to have a lazy day together.”

“How can you love something so broken?”

“Boyfriend buys my clothes.”

“You haven’t told him yet?”

GRAYSON

“You’re the best, you know that?”

“I’m here for you always. You know that.”

Shopping

“Who’s tryna get bit?” (Halloween)

“You should probably stay a couple more days.”

 “Don’t tease me like that.”

“I’ve gotta mark my territory.”

“But you know I like to spoil you.”

“C’mon, let’s go.”

Dear John

“Everyone is Going to Love You.” (Christmas)

“You didn’t tell me you were twins.”

“It’s just a movie.”

“It’s like you don’t even know who I am.”

Night of Relaxation

“I think it’s time to confirm everything.”

“I’m ready when you are.”

“Were you out with another guy?”

“You shouldn’t be scared to tell me things.”

“Girlfriend vs. Brother Challenge”

“I just couldn’t stop thinking about her.”

“I am so blessed I get to call you mine.”

“Are we having twins?”

“You like him, don’t you?”

Grayson fights your ex

“It was her boyfriend.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Happy birthday babe.”

“I made a mistake.”

“Back off my girl.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Merry Christmas baby.”

“I just wanna cuddle right now.”

Valentine’s Day Road Trip

Rainy Day

First Date (Preference)

Tea Time

Shower Sex (Preference)

Best Friends (Preference)

“You’re not a burden.”

Prom

Hawaiian Vacation

Traveling (Preference)

Dive

“Do you forgive me?”

“Our fans ship us.”

“You’re stuck with me.”

“You need a vacation.”

“I can’t believe I’m going to Coachella.”

Target Adventure

“You had a boy over?”

“I wanna be more than friends.”

“I’ll always appreciate your company.”

Never Have I Ever

“Admit it, you like him.”

“I love you.”

“You really didn’t think I would miss your graduation, did you?”

“Clothes. Off, now.”

“I needed to clear my head.”

BOTH

“Messy Trivia Challenge”

The Dizzy Challenge

“Which one would you choose?”

What’s in My Pants Challenge

2

[170520 JACKSON WEIBO UPDATE]

王嘉尔: 我的你们 在做什么呢 😊 现在这点都应该睡着了吧😴💤💤 我也现在洗完澡 然后躺在床上准备睡了😙 睡之前想跟你们说一句 谢谢我的你们 😁 每一天都很感谢 很感激 谢谢我的你们 一直在我身边 也是因为我的身边有了你们, 每做一件事都会很有自信的去做, 很敢去做, 可以非常用心的去做,很开心的去做, 无论什么事都在我身边的 我的你们 让我知道了谁才是真正 我的人 也让我真正的体会到了谁 最了解我 我会做好自己 每天每天 感激 感恩 让你们可以到处很骄傲的可以说 我喜欢王嘉尔 谢谢我的你们 521 快乐 我爱你 ❤️ ️ #王嘉尔##521##我的你们##我爱你

All of you who are mine, what are you doing? 😊 You should already be asleep at this timing 😴💤💤 I’ve just finished taking a shower, and am getting ready for bed 😙 Before I sleep, I just want to say a thank you to all of you 😁 I am very grateful and thankful everyday. Thank you all for staying by my side. And because I have you guys by my side, whenever I do something, I can do it confidently, bravely, wholeheartedly, and happily. All of you who stayed by my side no matter what happens, you let me know who are the ones who truly belong to me, and who understands me best. I will do my best, be thankful and grateful everyday, so that you can proudly say that “I like Jackson Wang”. Thank you, all of you who are mine. Happy 521, I love you. ❤️

Trans by: fywangjackson
translations may contain inaccuracies!
© Take out with full credits.

comprehensive analysis of sam & cap meeting for the first time
  • ‘oh hey look how fast i can run look how fast and cool i am look at me’
  • cap is wearing a t shirt 2 sizes 2 small that may as well be soaking wet come the fuck on cap put on some fucking clothes
  • i can’t hear anything steve is saying over his flexing
  • ‘what unit u with? where u work? what’s ur name? u got a boyfriend? where yo boyfriend at?’
  • flimsy excuse to hold hands (’oh help me up from this tree i’m so tired i can’t possibly get up by myself’)
  • sam immediately all ‘must be weird coming home after the whole defrosting thing’ like wow personal much? buy a guy a drink first
  • steve is like ‘uh ya it’s weird that’s personal buy a guy a drink first’ and goes to leave
  • sam: -anguished expression- oh god i fucked it up
  • sam:

damn it sam save it! save it! don’t let him go! -says the first thing that pops into his head-

  • steve like

‘what the fuck buy a guy several drinks first?’

  • sam: your bed, it’s too soft. when I was over there I’d sleep on the ground, use rocks for pillows, like a caveman.

steve:

  • what
  • sam: -explains what the fuck he’s talking about, beds are too soft, etc etc etc’
  • steve: ohhhh the marshmallow bed thing? ya i get that. fucking soft beds right haha -is apparently into the whole caveman thing-
  • sam: nice, saved it -high fives self-
  • steve: -demonstrates how Knowledgeable he is and how much Perspective he has and how Funny he can be’ we use to boil everything!!!!
  • steve literally sounds like one of those beauty queens having a question sprung on her that she didn’t expect
  • ‘Miss New York how does the world of today compare to the days of world war 2??? 30 seconds on the clock’
  • ‘no polio is good’
  • ….’no polio is good’….
  • ‘we used to boil everything!!!’
  • somehow sam is still cool with this. it’s probably bc steve has mouth-watering melon pecs
  • Sam Makes His Move

you can tell this is his Move. he tells this to all the ladies. there’s no way you can get someone listening to marvin gaye and not get laid instantaneously

  • steve doesn’t know what the fuck sam is talking about but this is a great excuse to show off his arms by pulling out his little notebook

are you looking at those arms sam?? bc i am

  • btw
  • this

this is the face of a man who is DTF

  • ‘Miss New York, what are the most significant historical events and cultural changes that have occurred since world war two?? 30 seconds on the clock’
  • ‘uhh…. I Love Lucy. Moon Landing. Berlin wall… up and down. Steve Jobs…. apple….???? Disco. Definitely. Thai food. Star Wars and Trek. Nirvana… I’m pretty sure that’s a band. Rocky and Rocky 2. And whatever this guy just told me. idk I’ll look it up on the Google later’
  • ‘all right Sam, duty calls. Thanks for the run…… if that’s what you want to call running.’
  • ‘Oh, that’s how it is??’
  • ‘Ohhh that’s how it is.’
  • this is better flirting than i have ever implemented in my nearly ten long years after hitting puberty
  • ‘Hey anytime you want to stop by my place of employment that I told you explicitly within minutes of meeting you but now I’m bringing up again to make sure you remember where I work and where to find me again, make out with me me look awesome in front of the girl at the front desk, just let me know’
  • Steve: hella B)
  • nat: -rolls up-
  • nat:
  • Allura: I don’t understand why you wasted another night on a quest no one’s ever going to solve.
  • Pidge: Princess, I am way too sleep-deprived to deal with your negativity right now. Let me show you what I did. I started off by making a map of all of the conflicts that have gone down in the Universe since five thousand years ago to see if there was a pattern. That led me to this.
  • *Turns on a map of the Galaxy where almost all of it is covered in red dots to indicates Battles*
  • Pidge: There is so much war in Universe. No one should live here.
bts reacts: you sleep in his hoodie

anon asked:  can i request bts reactions to you sleeping in their hoodie because it smells like them? Thanks xx

note: i try to keep these gender neutral, so if i use a specific pronoun, let me know so i can change it! :) also, none of these gifs belong to me, all credit to their original ownerssss


yoongi:  i just imagine him coming home one night because he’d stayed late, walking with light footsteps and softly closing doors as he passes through them, as if not to wake you up, and then  he just sees you asleep, loosely tucked under thin sheets and wearing his hoodie, and he would just pause, hand lingering on the door frame and a fond smile on his face.

hoseok:  “y'know, sometimes i wonder why you even take so long to pick out pyjamas to wear my clothes to bed everyday.” he’d tease.

“yours is more comfortable than anything people sell anywhere- probably because of the millions of times it’s been through a softener, washer and drier cycle.” he’d laugh a little at that, turning over to face you.

“honestly, you can keep it. you wear it more than i do.”

namjoon: "i was thinking about something the other day.“

"when are you not thinking about something?” he’d give you a look out of the corner of his eye that just read, ‘good point.’

“i’d just realised why we only have to do half the amount of laundry that everyone else does- it’s because you literally own no pajamas.” he’d gesture to the oversized hoodie that hung loosely as you lay next to each other. “i have no problem with it- no problem with any aspect of it at all. just thought i’d let you know.”

seokjin: "so what you’re telling me is, when it’s other people’s clothes, it makes them a million times more comfortable?“

"i mean, not just anyone. but yours are.” with your head resting on his chest, you’d feel the rise and fall of every chuckle; every breath.

does it work reversed? maybe i should try wearing your clothes to sleep?”

“with those shoulders… not a chance.”

jungkook:  “hey ___, have you seen my- oh, never mind.” he’d sleepily walk into the room, rubbing at tired eyes and sitting next to you. you didn’t lift your eyes from the tattered novel in your hands, only yawned a little. 

“you can’t blame me- it smells nice.” you shrugged, not a trace of guilt there at all.

“___, it smells of me.”

“exactly. gotta love the smell of stale perspiration.” he’d game slightly and you’d laugh, nudging him gently to let him know that t was a joke. “i’m kidding, i’m kidding. you smell great, don’t you worry.”

jimin:  i just imagine him being all cute and blushy about it, with soft brushes at your arm every now and again, and little whispers telling you how much he liked seeing you in it met with gentle eye smiles, with evenings ending in intertwined hands, falling asleep on sofas and the synchronized sound of tired breathing.

taehyung: "y'know, i was wondering where that’d gone.“ he’d laugh softly, the sound tainted by the dodgy webcam quality and internet speed. "you really miss me that much?”

“what, did you expect me not to miss you? you’re making me sound like a bad person, you know. of course i miss you.”

“you miss me that much?”

“yes, tae. of course i do.” his face would visibly light up a bit, a smile upturning the corners of his lips as he gently whispered, just quiet enough for you to hear, ‘that’s good to know.’


this blog was a mess but so am i so it’s all fine, i hope this was okay for you, anon! :)

here’s my masterlist, just in case you liked this, and moodboard requests are open cause i just really like making those and it makes me feel like i’m doing something productive when i have writers block :))

last post: home; vmin moodboard

last react: you’re more quiet than usual

thanks for reading!

- tash 💕

valentine’s day // dylan o’brien

Summary: Dylan falls in love with a girl who hates Valentine’s Day

Requested: no

Pairing: Dylan & Y/N

Warning: yes, mature language, themes, & smut throughout

Masterlist

His long legs extended across her lap as he took a large gulp of the amber liquid. Sighing contently, he placed the glass bottle on the floor and snuggled deeper into his couch. Her hands were lazily drapped over his feet as she focused on the television. The movie that they had been watching was fairly interesting although she was having a bit of a hard time following the plot.

“Wait, is he the sister’s boyfriend?” Y/N asked her best friend who shook his head in return.

“No, that’s the guy they met at the bar who looks like the boyfriend.” Dylan explained.

Furrowing her eyebrows, Y/N continued to watch the film hoping somewhere along the way things would make sense.

This was their routine. Every Friday night for the past 3 years was spent on his lumpy couch drinking beer, eating pizza, and watching movies. As the ending credits started, Y/N let out a soft yawn as she extended her arms.

“What did you think?” Dylan asked, eager to know what she thought of the film. “I thought she was going to pick the boyfriend’s brother’s friend.” Y/N admitted with a giggle, thinking about the cliched love triangle movie she just watched. “The ending was very unexpected.”

Pulling his feet off of her lap, he sat on the edge of the couch.

“What about you?” She called out as he walked to the kitchen with his empty beer bottle.

“I was routing for the boyfriend’s brother’s friend too.” His laugh echoed throughout the kitchen.

Their friendship consisted of watching cheesy romance movies together, texts at 3am when they couldn’t sleep, and the comfort of knowing that they always had someone they could count on. It was completely platonic.

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3

Me Time (Joker x Reader)

“Imagine trying to have some alone time but the Joker doesn’t know the meaning of space.”

Requested by @stimahagen: “Could please make an imagine where the Joker falls in love with the reader and he becomes super clingy? would be so cute”


The morning sun was pushing its way through the heavy curtains that hung against the windows. You groaned, attempting to get out of bed. Tight arms were wrapped around your waist, keeping you there. You couldn’t help but smile, letting yourself settle back down into the mattress. Eventually, his arms loosened from you and he rolled over. You waited for a few minutes then slowly got out of bed.

You tiptoed through the house, seeking out the kitchen. You never missed out on your chance to have alone time. You pulled some stuff out of the fridge and cabinets, placing them on the counter as you started to cook breakfast. You made sure to make a separate plate for the Joker, knowing that he’d probably be hungry when he woke up. Once you were done cooking, you sat down at the table and enjoyed your peaceful meal in solace. You watched the sun peak out from behind the clouds, a soft smile on your face. You picked up your empty plate and brought it to the kitchen. You paused for a moment, thinking that you heard something from upstairs. He should sleep for another hour or so, or at least you hoped.

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