you should be illegal and then some

  • other reality cooking shows: TEN ASSHOLES in a room, all of them PUMPED UP on CRYSTAL METH and THIRSTY for HUMAN BLOOD. we’re gonna SYSTEMATICALLY DESTROY their self-esteem until one of them LOSES IT, throws HOT FAT in another one’s FACE and DISFIGURES THEM FOR LIFE. you are GUARANTEED to DIE of second hand anxiety
  • me: *yawns* that was ok i guess. a nice relaxing watch before bed
  • the great british bake off: we are going to find the twelve most adorable people in the uk and politely request them to whip up some of britain’s favourite sweet treats. they will talk in soft voices, make self-deprecating jokes, and emotionally support one another. an elderly lady and her middle-class henchman are going to sample their bakes and offer gentle feedback.
  • me: oh my GOD are you trying to KILL me I CAN’T HANDLE THIS my HEART’s exploding this should be ILLEGAL @bbc TONE IT THE FUCK DOWN
⚠ Potions ⚠

Recently I have been seeing a lot of people interested in potions, which usually wouldn’t be a problem (as there are many potions not intended for consumption).

More alarmingly I have seen a lot of people interested in adding potions to people’s drink while they aren’t looking!!

This is very very alarming and should NEVER be done.

Not only do you not know whether someone is allergic to something in the potion, you also don’t know what medication this person is taking and how what you are giving them is going to interact with it.

Beyond this, it is a very violating thing to be thinking of doing. It shouldn’t matter whether you want them to fall in love with you or to get good grades.

You should NEVER give something to someone in food or drink without their expressed knowledge, EVER!!

The act of adding something to someone’s drink without their knowledge could be considered an illegal act in some countries or states.

I would have assumed that this would be common knowledge, yet apparently it isn’t.

Please spread the word, this is becoming an increasing problem for newbies as they try to emulate fantasy magick and potions from TV, Movies and Books and is incredibly dangerous.

*My RE teacher* “Abortion is hideous and should be illegal.” *Me, at 17, raises my hand up* “But abortion is not really a legal issue, is it? If I, as a woman, think I have a right to an abortion, then what does it matter what you or some wrinkly old judge says? You never stopped abortion. All you ever did was drive it underground. “

The RE teacher went crazy and yelled for the rest of the class. 

*Male student I knew later on to me in the stairwell*  “So, I hear you got the class an hour long lecture.”

*Me* “Is it weird that at this point I don’t really care?”

*Male student* “But you forced everyone to hear him yelling! Aren’t you ashamed?”

*Me*  “Not really, no.”

Morning Delight (M)

Originally posted by go2bedjungkook

A/N: I meant to have this done by Jin’s birthday but… Obviously that didn’t happen. Seokjin needs love too, okay. He’s so under appreciated it’s upsetting and I wanted to give him some love.

Words: 2,510

Warnings: Swearing, smut, mild - and I mean mild - dirty talk, and table sex.

Sunlight flowed through the crack in the curtains, warm rays hitting your face as you sit up in bed with your back against the headboard. Beside you is your boyfriend, light snores coming from him as he sleeps soundly. The light illuminating from the sun hits his face in a way that almost takes your breath away, his caramel skin seemingly glowing with the rays. His full lips are slightly pouty, parted slightly as he breathes. The covers are pulled halfway down his body, his broad shoulders and back revealed to you, his shoulders rising with every breath he takes. He looks peaceful, serene almost, and you can’t help but let a frown form on your face. He’s been working so hard lately with all of the comeback work and practice; coming home late at night exhausted and only being able to get - at most - three hours of sleep, and you knew it was beginning to take a toll on him. Bags were beginning to form under his eyes, forced smiles would appear on his full lips, and you knew that he just didn’t have any energy left in him right now. But now, with a few days off, you’re hoping that you can help in at least some way to get him relaxed.

With that thought in your mind, you let a small smirk form on your lips as you quietly slip out of the bed and make your way out of your shared room. Jin’s t-shirt clung to your body, the hem falling just above your knees, and swished along as you made your way into the kitchen. With everything he has done for both you and the boys, you decided to return the favor to him.

Grabbing everything you needed - eggs, bacon, sausage, bread - you placed them onto the counter and reached to grab one of the frying pans in the cupboard. With the quiet volume of the music playing on your phone, you hum quietly as you begin to make breakfast for the two of you. Slowly you lose yourself in the soft melodies coming from your phone and your hips sway side to side, your fingers turning off the stove once the breakfast was done. But just as you were going to turn around and grab two plates, a pair of arms wraps around your waist and you’re being pulled into a warm chest.

“If I knew I was going to wake up to this, I would’ve been up sooner.”

Keep reading

Two types of friend

Harry: I’m so pissed. I think I might end up killing someone today.

Hermione: Harry… You don’t believe that, I know you don’t. And besides, murdering people is illegal, remember. Negativy will get you nowhere. You know what? You should get some rest instead. And when you’re done, I’ll be waiting for you in the common room, reading a book. Then we will go for a walk by the lake and visit Hagrid. Better?

Originally posted by my-harry-potter-generation

Harry: I’m so pissed. I think I might end up killing someone today.

Ron: *sighs* I’ll help you hide the body.

Originally posted by mrs-marauders

In the near future...

FBI: Miss, we found some questionable material on your computer…
Me: *thinking* Oh shit, all that music I illegally downloaded back in middle school…
Me: *out loud* I don’t know what you’re talking about.
FBI: May we come in?
Me: *thinking* FUCK! How did they find out! It’s been like ten years and at least five pcs since…
Me: *out loud* It’s cool, I have nothing to hide
FBI Agent: *opens laptop* Would you mind explaining this?

Me: *sweats nervously*
FBI: You do realize this is a 15 year old, right?
Me: I don’t know how that got there!
FBI: Riiiiiight

4

Updated my commissions graphics with some newer work–yep, you guessed it, YE OLDE COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN.

I will not draw gory stuff, big-time sex stuff (nonsexual and above-the-belt nudity is fine, as usual), or illegal stuff. Basically, don’t ask me to draw Minnie Mouse/Steve Rogers porn and we should be fine.

I take payment through PayPal. You’ll get a nice big file of the finished artwork. Do whatever you want with it. Post it to your blog, print it on your bedsheets, mail it to your favorite politician in a scented envelope, put it on your wall, print it on your ceiling–the possibilities are, quite literally, endless.

If you want something not listed here, let me know. Just want a sketch? Just lineart? Knees-up shot? An icon or a banner or a logo or something? A little chibi? A landscape with no characters at all? Your original characters, who happen to be helicopters with sexy legs? WOWIE! NEAT! Hit me up! We’ll figure it out, I can get it done!

If you’re interested, send me an ask, or a message, or–if you’re like me, and Tumblr has a history of eating up all your asks, send me an email at sketchbuggy@gmail.com

For more examples of my work, you can always check out @edgebugart, which is, you know, the blog this is being posted on. So. There’s that.

Testimonials:

“I got two commissions from this lovely beautiful human bein’ and not only did I receive them promptly, they were absolutely gawgeous! Highly recommend, 10/10, would commission again (am broke tho).” -@jadefyre

“I would fuck that art and I’m ace” - @sp8sexual

“Edgebug did me a gorgeous pic of my rarepair with a super fast turnaround. I think my PM to @insanityrule with the draft sketch just said “*dying whale noises*” and I stand by that.” - @daisiestdaisy

“EVERYONE SHOULD PAY KIP FOR THEIR ART FOREVER BECAUSE LOOK AT THE CRAFTMANSHIP. COMMISSION THEM.” - @nematophila

“I seriously loved my commission. It was an absolute treat to get a commission done from @edgebugart. My picture was exactly what I asked for and nothing short of spectacular.” @vealchopy

“@edgebugart did a BUNCH of commission work for me for gifts to my friends and not only was all of the art produced absolutely incredible but every step of working together was a breeze and a blast! In conclusion commission all the things from this brilliant sweetheart.” - @lost-her-sheep

“100% edgebugart approved” - @edgebugart

PSA; please familiarize yourself with the woman Jeanette Vizguerra

Been listening to the coverage of Jeanette Vizguerra, the woman who has taken shelter in the Denver church for sanctuary from deportation. Her case in Congress is an important one and I believe can change the outcome of deportation in America. The lawyers representing her case are imploring people to listen, because if Tr*mp succeeds in deporting her, it can lead to an even more expedited process of deportation and that should scare everyone. 

I know that some people don’t care. That she’s here “illegally” and will turn away but she has pleaded her case for 8 years. She has contributed to our society and her community for over 20. She belongs here where she can watch her children and grandchildren grow. She belongs with us. She’s built her life here just as we have. And I implore naturalized citizens, as one myself, do not turn your nose up at her just because you got have your green card. She is just as American as you and I are. We have to keep fighting for her. Jeanette Vizguerra said herself that her case is an attack on all the immigrants who came here with our dreams. Do you think Tr*mp cares about our statuses? He will use this precedence to further erode all of our rights. We cannot give an inch. She is one of us. Please keep fighting for her.

anonymous asked:

(About Chris and creepy Japanese porn) I actually had this hc and was too shy to admit it lol + ordered some gadgets online with Viktor's shipping address as a wingman support package

Viktor would be like ‘Chris I know you’re trying to help and I’m adventurous but some of these things look like they should be illegal and I’m going to burn them’

Steven. Please. Please don’’t do this.

You know how some things are generally deemed as taboo? Even in war? Mustard gas, chemical weaponry, these are illegal for the same reason people generally don’t bomb cities: because they’re considered immoral enough to be forbidden on both sides.

I feel like putting a piece of semi-conscious brain in your underwear and using it as a projectile should be one of them.

SO I THINK I SHOULD WARN YOU GUYS
Please don’t take v serious stuff that comes from Russian sites at the moment. I mean yeah we leaked stuff, but right now our web is full with false speculations that ‘pirates’ use to gain visitors on their pages. We have plenty of sites with illegal content. For example, when i search for s5 dates it shows me this and lots of other sources in Russian with the same info, but when you click on it, you get the 'article’ with speculations based on nothing. I’m not saying that everything in Russian language is fake, maybe there are some things that can be leaked again (if 4th ep does exist), but at the moment we can’t trust anything

I’m intensely curious what this says, but even my far-sighted eyes can’t make out all of what’s written. Can anyone help me?

I think I have most of it, except for a few words:

Dear Kathryn,

I was just reminiscing about the birth of Mollie’s puppies and how long ago that seems. You should see how big they are now and how well they get along with my new kitten. Things [< I think?] at times are still crazy. The [word starting with a P] [and another word] never seems to let up… However I do need to relate some rather difficult news. Since you’ve been gone, it’s been so difficult for me [two more illegible words]

I get most people who voted for trump is wealthy in some way. But I’m not bashing you for voting for him. However, think of all the things he doesn’t know much about. He is against gay marriage, and if he makes it illegal again? It’s like the fight we’ve tried to win, and WON, has been lost again. His Vice President wants to legalize anti gay camps?? How?! How?? Abortion will be illegal? I’m not saying I’m for or against it. I just believe it should be decided by the mother of you want to keep the child. If you were forced to have it? How horrible can that be for your body and mind. And, let’s face it, he doesn’t have much political experience.. I don’t like Hilary much either, but based on who could win, I won’t Hilary to win. Make history as well.

Illegal Immigration

You know, I am probably going to piss some people off, but I don’t care.

People who want to do something about illegal immigration are racist xenophobes? No, they’re fucking not. Most decent people aren’t against immigration, they’re against illegal immigration. The key word here is illegal.

As someone who is trying to legally migrate to the ‘States, it pisses me off how many people defend illegal immigrants.

Why should they get a free pass, when I have to sit back and wait months just to get a response from the US Immigration department, and spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on fees and medical exams?

Fuck all of you defending illegal immigration. It’s not fair on those of us who are trying to do things properly.

❝30 more texts to send to my muse:❞ | Sentence Starter

Warning(s): Alcohol, Strong Language, Blood

  1. [ text ]: Want a big bowl of frosted angst with that orange juice, sunshine?
  2. [ text ]: How illegal is it to steal someone’s dog while they’re out walking it?
  3. [ text ]: Claaaaaaaaasic me. I fucked up. Like massively.
  4. [ text ]: I’m sorry, my trainer said if I wanted the Olympic gold in competitive sleeping that I need to avoid all social activities.
  5. [ text ]: I can hear you singing in the shower. A solid 11/10. You should audition for TV.
  6. [ text ]: I’m all for drinking but no more 4am risky ‘White Russians’. It was 90% vodka.
  7. [ text ]: It’s not even 9am and I’ve already had an argument about whether you can burn water.
  8. [ text ]: Flash some leg. But not above the knee, you’re not looking for marriage.
  9. [ text ]: Jesus Christ on a unicycle, what happened this time?
  10. [ text ]: I’m going to be late. But I made a friend. His name is ‘Train Boy’ and he was shadily explaining how to get train discounts.
  11. [ text ]: Who let me out the house?
  12. [ text ]: It’s really depressing that I’m an adult and I just threw up on myself because I was too warm. I’m not even drunk.
  13. [ text ]: I’d be the worst werewolf. …And yet, I still want to be one.
  14. [ text ]: They switched the water for vodka. I didn’t realise until I was three sips in.
  15. [ text ]: We were told to be civil. You dialled it down by aggressively whispering ‘chug chug’ under your breath.
  16. [ text ]: Can you imagine if a man was living in our roof and we didn’t know?
  17. [ text ]: What is my life? I’m dancing on a sticky patch on the dancefloor.
  18. [ text ]: Fuck it, I’m gonna order a large. I will regret every moment but this does not change my mind.
  19. [ text ]: I feel like I was in a fist fight with a bear. I’ve yet to decide whether I feel like I’ve won.
  20. [ text ]: I just tried to high-kick the fridge and pulled a muscle.
  21. [ text ]: I realise you just mopped up but I managed to get blood everywhere.
  22. [ text ]: Brought matching margarita glasses. I was told by the cashier I was making good life choices.
  23. [ text ]: I know we have a paper to finish writing but I really need you to come and watch this video. It contains puppies.
  24. [ text ]: I can’t tell if I’m tired or still drunk from last night.
  25. [ text ]: Why did I let you get a beaded curtain? …Also, my hair is stuck in the beaded curtain.
  26. [ text ]: I’m sorry but it’s always an appropriate time for a crisis snack.
  27. [ text ]: I just found my boss asleep in the shed. I’m running this place on my own.
  28. [ text ]: Why do I keep getting asked if I have the ping pong balls? And why do people need ping pong balls suddenly?
  29. [ text ]: I’m being harassed by geese again.
  30. [ text ]: It’s diamond nips weather. Dress warm.

anonymous asked:

Did you ever wondered how Tina can be HALFBLOOD, according to her MACUSA identity card? Halfbloods should have one non-magic parent, have they? Keeping the American Magical Laws in mind, there should be only PUREBLOOD witches and wizards (and some muggleborn, oc). So halfbloods must be children from illegal relationships! So did the Goldsteins really died because of dragon pox (I think, no-Maja can't even GET them)? What do you think?

Well if a No-Maj-born/Muggle-born wizard married a pure blood, then their offspring would be half-blood 🙂 I’m assuming that their are muggle-borns in the USA!

Its important to keep in mind that if some action is illegal, just believing it spiritually does not exempt you from the law–this should be taken into consideration as somethings that Tumblr witches do like publicly hex or curse could be considered threats or harassment depending on the circumstances. So be very conscious of your actions, of course people break the law all the time, I mean I don’t generally drive exactly the speed limit. But boasting about things that could be considered a type of violence, well think about it.

Liberals should give it a try living in the Middle East. How about that Gloria Steinem? You’ll learn what some real oppression is. The real war on women is in the Arab world.

These progressive chicks are insane and not living in the real world. Opinion SJWs you’re going to hate: Women aren’t Oppressed in the West, they’re actually the most protected class in our society, well maybe second to illegal immigrants.

Men and Women are different. Just look at the family courts to see how they’re stacked in the ladies favor for an example.

It is what it is. So shut up Lena Dunham and the Regressive Left. This victimization culture is mentally deranged.

Progressives and modern feminism are a radical element that only will achieve a vast expansion of centralized government, the redefinition of liberty, freedom, and the preferential application of the law to women based on their identity as a specialized protected class.

On these grounds, the modern radical left is interested in fundamental social transformation rather than the mere protection of individual freedom and opportunity. Its agenda is openly hostile to the Constitution. Which is based on limiting the scope and character of the law in order to protect the individual rights and equal opportunity for both men and women.